Transcription
6:30 AM, I walk to the station to go to work. The reason Japanese men avoid divorce is not limited to "their continued love for their wives," but there are practical, social, and psychological reasons. The first and most important is the high cost of living. Many Japanese men continue to bear the responsibility of supporting their families even after marriage. Therefore, divorce is not just the loss of a family member, but it can also mean lifelong financial burdens. After divorce, Japanese men continue to pay alimony, and if there are children, child support. With the income of an ordinary Japanese employee, life would be very difficult. Also, changing jobs is not easy in Japanese society. Long working hours, seniority-based promotions, and lifetime employment. For men working in these systems, losing a stable income is very frightening. In other words, they avoid divorce even at the expense of their emotions for the sake of their financial security. I eat breakfast before going to work. Yoshinoya (a restaurant serving beef dishes). Language. English. Breakfast. Pork and eggs + beef. 567 Japanese yen ($3.7, €3.2). Water. Pork and eggs and beef. 567 Japanese yen ($3.7, €3.2). Mayonnaise. Let's start with the salad. Yoshinoya's beef is very delicious. Pork and eggs for breakfast. Miso soup with wakame seaweed. Thank you for the meal. I will leave for work now. I finished my work at 6:00 PM. I am in Shimbashi, Tokyo. I will have dinner before returning home. Yang Zhou Merchant (Chinese ramen). Doubanjiang. Black vinegar. Pepper. Soy sauce. Vinegar. Jasmine tea. Fried noodles Shanghai style. 1170 Japanese yen ($7.6, €6.6). Paper apron. Chopsticks. The noodles are very thick. Pork and bok choy. Pork xiaolongbao. 460 Japanese yen ($3, €2.6). Break the shell of the xiaolongbao. Drink the broth. I ate pork xiaolongbao with ginger. Thank you for the meal. Japanese men are not good at expressing their feelings. From a young age, they are constantly told, "Don't cry, you are a man," and "Be quiet and do your best." As a result, it may be difficult for them to express anger, sadness, or even love. Even if the relationship between the couple is cold, they cannot talk about it. They cannot have a conversation that repairs their relationship with their wives. In the end, silence prevails over the couple's relationship, and their love fades. However, they do not take any action. Because they are used to "enduring" more than "talking." For them, "divorce" also means "admitting their helplessness." Pride hinders them, and Japanese men are unable to make decisions. There is also a very practical reason, which is that they cannot support themselves after divorce. Many Japanese men leave most of the housework and daily life to their wives. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, and managing household affairs. It is not uncommon for people to have to do these things themselves. Therefore, divorce suddenly means having to do everything on their own. When they return home tired from work, no one prepares dinner for them. The room is messy, but no one cleans it. Eating a bento from a convenience store alone on a lonely night. Just imagining this reality is enough to make many men hesitate to divorce. Japanese men also tend to have very narrow circles of friends. Once they enter the job market, their personal relationships decrease, and they spend most of their time working. If they separate, they lose their "place to belong" at home and fall into absolute loneliness. When they imagine this loneliness, they find comfort in knowing that someone is at home, even if there is no love. For them, home is not a place of warmth, but a safe haven. I buy late-night snacks from convenience stores. Red bean paste base with dumplings and soy flower mousse. 346 yen ($2.3, €2). Castella with egg custard cream. 171 yen ($1.1, €1). My wife and son are sleeping. I will take a bath. In Japanese society, the image of "divorce = life failure" is still deeply ingrained. Especially among men, there is a strong belief that "a man's responsibility is to protect his family." For this reason, many fear that if they divorce, they will be seen as having failed to protect their families. Even in the workplace, there is a culture of talking about divorce as if it were a joke. Some people cannot stand a question, even jokingly, "Did your wife run away from you?" Japanese people are very concerned about how others perceive them. Even if no one is looking at me negatively, I still feel like "someone might say something behind my back." For this reason, even in a cold family situation, many men avoid divorce "to save face." In Japan, maintaining the family, even while pretending to be happy, is sometimes considered a virtue. What do you think? Share with me in the comments section. My room. The reluctance of Japanese men to divorce is not just a personal choice, but a result of structures put in place by society as a whole. Japanese men hesitate to divorce not out of love, but because of society and fear. Instead of having the courage to break the status quo, they choose to endure it. These are the "silent chains" that Japanese men carry.