Transcription
There's just something about men sleeping in that I can't stand. Like, I get it. I'm the problem. Whatever. As a man, why are you still asleep? You should be outside mowing the lawn. So, I just cannot. I don't know. Wake up. Why are you all dainty still? Still still laying in bed. Why are you still sleeping? Get up. Go clock in. Okay. Go build a house. Go clean the grill. I don't know. Find something to do. Wake up.
It is not an accident that she used the word dainty. It is a feminized insult that is specifically designed to shame him. You know how I know that women were lying every time they spoke about equality is because of how violently they react against any man that engages in activity or behavior that was traditionally reserved for women.
>> Things that guys do that are for girls. Instagram. What are YOU POSTING ON INSTAGRAM? DUMP. GO BUILD A HOUSE. THERE'S HOUSES ON THE hill that need built.
>> Okay, so femininity is her territory. Rest and relaxation is a woman's domain. And these women, they don't want men muscling in on their space. Plus, women are attracted to masculinity. And so, what's the problem? Of course, women want to see men out active and ambitious in the world building and creating something. That's one of the reasons that we are told that women police the behavior of their husbands and their boyfriends so that they can remain attracted to them. And that's somewhat true.
As are many of the other reasons that women will admit to. Like if she depends on him for leadership. She doesn't like him sleeping or relaxing or doing his hobbies because it's like the leader has gone MIA. Or if she feels anxious and chaotic inside. She's jealous of how peaceful and calm his inner masculinity is. Or she likes seeing him working because it reassures her that his masculinity is not deteriorating, that he's battle ready. Or even the subjective feeling that she has that her woman's work is never done and so he should do his man's work.
I mean, personally, the truth and validity of each of these is somewhat questionable. I think some are justifiable, others are justifications. But you notice that they all have something in common, which is that if you ask a woman, "Why don't you like your man relaxing or sleeping in or engaging in his hobbies?" These are the reasons that women will offer. They're happy to volunteer these reasons because they're not embarrassed by them. But if there was a darker motive, do you think that women would feel comfortable confessing? Would they actually admit to it? Or would they do everything that they could to keep that hidden from men to make sure that he never discovers what her actual dark motive is?
Well, sucks for them because that's what we're going to explore in today's video. For you guys in a relationship, I have a little experiment for you. But I warn you, you might not like the answer that you get from your partner or the implications of it. So, try this at your own peril. Ask your wife this question. Honey, if I made a genius investment and I suddenly came into like $10 million or whatever is enough to support us both long into retirement, if that occurred, how would you feel if I spent the rest of my life relaxing and sleeping in and just indulging my hobbies? I didn't do any work anymore. I just enjoyed my life. How would you feel about that?
Again, I warn you, only ask your girlfriend or wife this question if you're feeling genuinely brave. And hopefully, fingers crossed, you know, for you guys who are subscribed to my channel, who know this stuff, who ideally have made good choices and have partnered with high-quality women, you'll get an answer that is really great. She'll say, "Oh, that would be amazing. God, life is difficult. Don't we deserve some happiness? If that occurred and you made that genius investment, then you just deserve to relax and have fun. And I get to relax with you, I would feel like the luckiest woman on earth. And every day I saw you indulging your hobbies. It would just make me happy in my heart. To see you live your dream, to see you fulfilled. That would just be just heaven for me."
Man, I bet a lot of guys are like, "That would feel good. I would love my wife to respond that way." And if that's the answer that you get, then you know, bravo. Like honestly, well done. You found one of the good ones. You know, good for you. Sadly, that response is quite rare. What's more common is her saying something like, "Well, I'd be pleased that we have the money, but I'm nervous how I would feel just watching you relax all day. I feel like I'd want you to be doing something. You know, maybe just work that you enjoy. You know, I think it would be good for you to get out of the house and like do some volunteer work or something. You know, I just feel like if you're not engaged in some project, I just don't know that I could respect you or that I would feel very attracted to you."
And hearing this response, it might surprise you because you're thinking, um, I made tens of millions of dollars. Like, is that not enough? Like, I I did my project and and it worked. I won. How is that not enough? But understand from a woman's point of view, it's not about the amount of resources that you have. What matters is how those resources are being used. And again, I'm not denying that there isn't some truth to all of those other explanations that she offered up. But what a woman won't admit to is that even if you have millions of dollars, that doesn't really count for much in her mind if you're spending all of that money on yourself, your hobbies, your passion, your freedom.
Seeing you become very wealthy and then just start indulging yourself, buying all the things you've always wanted, doing whatever it is that you want. Believe it or not, rather than feeling happy for you, a lot of women will feel very insecure. And I know that this might be hard to believe, but many women would actually prefer to be with a husband who makes significantly less money if it means that his job makes it so that he is too busy to focus on spending all of the money he makes on himself. If he's occupied in making the money and not thinking about spending it, that means that she gets to be in control of how that money gets spent.
I'm going to quote from Iron Rand, and this is a conscious choice of mine to do so because she is one of the only philosophers who actually ever spoke about the concept of toxic femininity and she did so with such masterful clarity. This passage is spoken by one of the female villains in Atlas Shrugged, Lilian Reedan. And in this monologue, she is describing why she is always actively trying to sabotage her husband's business.
"From the angle of a horsewoman, darling, if you had the most powerful horse in the world, you would keep it bridled down to the gate required to carry you in comfort. Even though this meant the sacrifice of its full capacity, even though its top speed would never be seen and its great power would be wasted, you would do it. Because if you let the horse go full blast, it would throw you off in no time."
This is the fear that many women feel but never admit. That they don't actually want their husbands to reach their full potential, to truly become huge successes and self-actualize because they're scared that if their husbands ever did discover the means to enact their full autonomy, then they would lose control of them. Like a wild horse that was broken in and tamed that suddenly rediscovers its wildness and then throws off its rider and just runs back out into the wilderness. This is what women are scared of that if the man in their life is given space to discover their innate wildness again, you know, their true rhythm that he's just going to gallop off.
And so many women have a sweet spot. Okay, this is like a specific place that she wants him to inhabit in order to maximize the benefit that he brings to her life. You can see here that if he lacks any real masculinity, you know, any drive, ambition, or talent, then that's not good for her. You know, he's not generating much and so she doesn't really benefit. But women know that a man's masculinity, his confidence, his ambition, that is very closely related to his autonomy and his independence. A fire can cook your food and it can keep you warm, but it can also burn down your house. The fire is useful so long as it is tamed and inside your control. And so it goes with men. Yes, she wants him to be masculine. She wants him to be ambitious and strong and independent, but not too much. She doesn't ever really want him to become a complete success, to fully realize all of his dreams because at that point, he ceases to be useful to her because he's now following his own interests, his own passions. He's awakened the deepest part of his own masculine autonomy. And so, he's out living his dreams, being who he is, and he's not serving her anymore. And that's terrifying to a woman. Like, that's unimaginable. They can't really even imagine a man existing for his own sake rather than existing to serve a woman's interests.
>> When a man is handsome, educated, and makes good money, but is still single, what's his problem?
>> Nothing. He doesn't have a problem. He is successful, and therefore, he knows that he doesn't need to rush. He can take his time and carefully choose a woman that meets his standards. There's no issue here. You see it as an issue because like so many women, you find it offensive the idea that a man might generate all of this success and keep it to himself and not share it with a woman. Why is he single? What's his problem? All of that stuff he has that should be going to a woman.
It's the exact same issue that's manifesting for a man inside a relationship who wants to sleep in, who wants to relax, who wants to engage in his hobbies, who wants to enjoy his own wealth and reward himself for his hard work. You might struggle to understand how a woman could object to that. But do you see that when he starts indulging himself in this way that he's actually become a rival to her? Like his independent self, his desires, his dreams, they are now a threat to her because they are competing for who's going to be able to control this man, his energy, his expenditure, his resources.
This is what happens when a man is not viewed as an independent human being with his own dreams and emotions. When we live in a culture that denies men self-ownership and dignity, inevitably he gets reduced to a resource. And when women are looking at these resources, the only thought is, well, who gets them? And it's frightening to her to think that the man might lay claim to his own resources. No, that's not how this works. She was used to competing with all the other women, you know, trying to beat the competition there, but now she has to compete with him. He's just become another rival.
But you know what? She's confident that she's going to be able to win because like beating the rivals in order to be the one who sits as the beneficiary of a man's labor is something she's been doing for a long time. You know, first she beat out all the other women that he was dating. You know, she went to war and she was the one who got him and then she isolated him from his friends and turned him against his own mother. You know, she went to war with her mother-in-law. You know, that way she is his world. And what now? After doing all that to make sure that she was the victor and that she would get all the spoils, he's just suddenly going to awaken to his own self and start spending money on himself and and taking care of his own needs. No, he is just another rival in a long list of rivals that she has vanquished.
Any of you men who've been through the experience of suddenly coming into like a large fortune, you know, an inheritance, a huge promotion, you sold your business or something like that, and then suddenly you're just flushed with cash and success. Did you have the experience of seeing your wife or your partner be extremely happy? That was legitimate. She's like thrilled that there are all these new resources, but part of her was holding back and she wasn't really as excited as you were. The reason is because internally she was making calculations of like, okay, we've got all of this stuff now, but how do I make sure it all comes to me?
Now, let me be absolutely clear. Does this mindset describe all women? Absolutely not. A quality woman is not insecure about her place in a man's life. She knows the value that she brings to him. She's confident, her femininity, her support, her companionship, her mothering of the children. He genuinely loves her because of her contribution. She makes his life better. And so, there's no doubt that she's going to get taken care of because the two of them are a team. I love women like this because they exude this beautiful inner confidence that says that they have a rightful claim to whatever success comes their way as a couple because she knows for a fact that she has earned his place.
When they first got together, she treated it as a collaboration. You know, he told her his dreams and she's like, "How can I support you?" And she knows that it's her support that's one of the reasons why he has succeeded. She doesn't doubt her place. It's when a woman knows that she's scamming a man, that she hasn't really earned her place, that the insecurity is especially strong. That kind of woman is threatened by his autonomy because she is not a collaborator. She is a colonizer. His psychic territory is under her occupation. And her energy doesn't really go to supporting him. It's to making sure that whatever resources he generates, they're all flowing towards her.
Which is why I say that these women have a sweet spot that they want their man to exist in. Yes, she wants him to be masculine and ambitious and achieving, but not so much that he gets too confident. No, there is a perfect place where she is able to extract the maximum amount of resources from him and he never wakes up to the fact that he's essentially been colonized. In order to keep him there, she needs to exercise a certain level of mind control. Making sure she is the one who is dictating his values and his morals because by staying in control of his behavior, that's how she can ensure that she's going to continue to receive ongoing benefits.
>> And remember ladies, when he says spend less, you say make more. A low-quality woman's task is so much easier if she can convince her man that he has a moral duty to pay for her existence, to fund her life. And if he protests, there is a neverending list of shame and insults and criticisms that she can level at him to get him back in line. The goal is to make him feel inherently guilty for any instincts of self ownership that might start bubbling up. That way, he polices himself.
She doesn't want to actually resort to calling him selfish, to telling him that his hobbies are a waste of time and his friends are immature and that he shouldn't hang out with them. She will say all these things if necessary, but the goal is not for her to constantly say this stuff to her husband. What she wants is for him to have all of these thoughts as his own internal voice. That way, he never strays too far from the path that she's chosen for him.
A lot of women employ a pretty basic Pavlovian reward punishment system where anytime he starts to withdraw and shows some independence, she has like a meltdown and like accuses him of not caring about her and so he's like, "God, I'm not enjoying this." Or she just withdraws completely and you know refuses to give him any kind of physical companionship or sex. She can accuse him of being financially abusive if he monitors the spending in any way. On and on and on it goes. And this has a very specific purpose that she's trying to enact here. You know, she wants you to feel inherently guilty. She wants to undermine your very sense of personal sovereignty. Ideally, she wants to shape your mind so that she exists at the very top. She is your top priority and that if he was to ever do something for himself, he would consider that automatically shameful.
>> This apology is for all men because I am sitting here struggling with probably some of the worst cramps of my life. And to think that's just a fraction of what you guys go through when you have a cold that I feel like I've just been so insensitive and literally all all I can say is I'm sorry.
>> Yes, here we have it. The man cold, where women feel personally offended if a man ever has the audacity to injure himself or to get sick. This is not a rare thing. I've heard from many men in private consultations and in the hero circle describe a relationship dynamic where if they get sick, their girlfriend or wife is angry with them. Just at the moment when they need the most care and nurturing from their partners, that's when their wife starts picking fights. And at first, it doesn't make any sense. It's like why if the guy is sick, why aren't you comforting him? Why are you making his life more difficult? But no, believe it or not, in those situations, the woman actually believes herself to be the victim because she feels entitled to the fruits of whatever labor you are doing in the world. And if you're sick and you're injured, then you're not generating anything for her. So, she is the aggrieved party.
Honestly, women, believe it or not, they actually feel deep down inside themselves as though they have some kind of moral duty to like toughen men up, to whip them into shape, to make sure they are always working. They feel like this is some righteous cause that they've all been called to do, that women everywhere need to make sure men keep in line.
>> Think that men need to toughen up. And I think if men were forced to be homeless, they would learn how to be better men because that's what made men manly in the past was having to build houses and stuff. If we just made men be homeless for like a year, I think it would fix a lot of problems.
>> So good. Especially cuz we're not we we don't force men to do military anymore like they used to, they make them homeless for a year. Let's see how they [ __ ]
>> Yeah. Make them just figure it out. Make them homeless in a country where they don't know the language.
>> That way they really they really have to go through something and then maybe they can like
>> be appreciative.
>> Oh yeah. Men are the ones that have difficulty being appreciative. But do you see what I'm trying to get across to you? What I'm trying to help you understand is that these women, they don't feel guilty creating male suffering. They feel righteous, like they are doing something noble. Think about that. Think about the implications. Think about the way that you would have to feel about an organism if you felt like you had a moral duty to make it suffer. How you would relate to that organism if you felt like you were compelled to do that and that it was right for you to do that. I know that's a difficult thought experiment, but just imagine that you viewed like it was your role to toughen that organism up to make sure that they were suffering. And if you can create like an idea in your mind of what that kind of psychology would be like, then realize that that's how many women look at you. Let that sink in and then tell me, does the way that women treat men more sense now? Is this clearing up some of the confusion?
I want to spend the rest of the video reacting to these women and talking through the implications of what they've just said. I want to explain the reason why women can't just leave men alone. Why do they view it as their job to toughen men up? What is the actual specifics of that psychology? What does it feel like to be a woman and to have that experience to relate to the other gender in that manner? If you want to see this video reach its ultimate conclusion, you can keep watching by signing up on Patreon. That's where I post the full length versions of my videos. What you see here on YouTube. These are just the short and abridged versions.