Transcription
Why do women refuse to act like grown-ups even after they're married? I mean, men just want us to be accountable, at least sometimes, right? However, for most women, this seems like an impossible demand. Why is that?
Why do women when confronted with the truth choose anything but accountability? They will bully, attack, defend, and shame or turn into victims who cry, pout, give the silent treatment, etc. You get the idea. Whatever it takes, as long as they are not connected to their actions. Sadly, many of these women think they're being strong, but we all know these choices are 100% based on weakness.
So, how does this even happen? Why did our parents actually let us leave their house without one bit of communication skills? Any clues on what a wife's role is? Being able to admit when we're wrong or at the very very least knowing to just be quiet and listen when we don't know what we're talking about. Well, probably because they were just as clueless. But that's for another story.
So, here's the sad truth about why our marriage skills are so horrible. All we really had to go on is what worked for us as little girls, which is just be as cute and sweet as possible and be seen, not heard. So basically, quietly exist while appearing cute and sweet is the best way to live life. Now, even if our parents did try, we were probably conditioned to do certain things when our dad confronted us to not get in trouble. Right. Right?
Did we really develop our strategies with all men based on how we won over our dads and we still try those things even as married women with our actual husbands? Well, yeah. This is exactly how so many women turned out to be such fragile and defensive people instead of loving, cooperative wives. It's like we never grew up. We just got too old to keep living at our parents' house. So, we end up acting like we're just playing makebelieve in the real world.
The bottom line is this. Many women act like scared and entitled children when confronted because they never officially transitioned from being an acceptable little girl to a mature adult woman who has the skills to build and maintain a great marriage. Now, I get that in society, women are more accepted as emotional, the weaker sex, and damsels in distress to be protected by men. But somehow, we've decided that means we can be spoiled brats as wives. And our husband should not only accept it, but should pamper us when we make mistakes rather than confront or correct us.
Let's think for a second. How would a normal woman ever expect to solve an issue with this bully victim pattern? Bingo. She doesn't. Unfortunately, that's exactly what she wants. Nonresolution to an issue she caused. She thinks that living a lie with her being free from accountability is better than living with the truth, which she considers to be painful. I guess that makes total sense to a woman who chooses to act like a scared kid when confronted with her behavior.
Honestly, it would be just as easy for her to decide that such talks are a chance for her to grow as a person and just as importantly a wife. However, we all know that this is much easier said than done, but it's totally worth it. I know exactly what it's like to feel these pressures. I personally went through all of these with my husband. She may feel like the pain is boiling inside of her, like she's going to explode and die. But she won't. I've been there many, many times. She won't explode or die. I'm living proof. It is actually very liberating. Once she gets through the first one, she'll feel great.
Okay, now that we know the pain and suffering are only temporary, how can these women overcome these false beliefs and make their marriage and life so much better? One, ask God for the courage and strength to remove her pride so she can improve in such an important way. Two, understand she is an adult woman who chose to marry this man and married couples talk sometimes. Three, her actions are directly related to every result in her marriage, good or bad. Four, realize that every time he talks to her, this is what communication sounds and looks like. Five, accept being grown. She is a grown person in a grown-up marriage with a grown man, and she needs to listen to his concerns and deal with them as a grown-up. And six, she is not a victim with him. Even if he raises his voice in frustration, she is in a well-lit place with a man she decided was safe a long time ago. She is simply talking with her husband about their life. She is not a helpless victim being attacked by some random stranger with a weapon in a dark alley. They are just sharing words about a common subject, their life together.
Remember, just because we are loved, protected, and treated like princesses by our husbands doesn't mean we are little girls having tea parties with our dads. Therefore, the games that worked for da are not going to work with a man who rightfully expects his wife to act like an adult woman in their marriage. You made it this far. Click the like button.