Transcription
Okay, this is a very science-backed way to improve your mindset, and it's called "improve relatedness." Now, this is a simple way of telling you I need you to improve your immediate relationships. Remember, we had self, social, and the world. I need you to improve your relatedness with the people around you, right?
Here's you, this awesome person, but out here are other people. And it grows more abstract as we move out into the world. I need you, listen, as a goal, as an aim, I want you to identify these few people who are closest to you. It might only be one, two, three, four, five people, right? And I want you to improve your relationship with them, your relatedness with them.
It's unbelievable how much our mindset is again dictated by self, social, and the world. It turns out in psychology, especially like real academic studying of this concept of relatedness, you might uh research something like self-determination theory as an example. In self-determination theory, it's this belief that agency, competency, and relatedness really drive most of our results and our mental health in life. And the concept of relatedness is one of the most malleable and improvable of all. It's like, and I should say this, um, it's the most dramatic. Let me say it that way. It's the most dramatic.
And you hear this from every area of sociology. People who age well and have the longest longevity in the world tend to have higher levels of relatedness with the immediate people around them. And so what does relatedness mean? It tends to mean the frequency, the quality, and the depth of your relationship with someone. How often do you talk with them? Is it good emotion back and forth with them? And how deep is your actual relationship with them? Are they a deep friend or a superficial friend? Frequency, quality, depth. Frequency, frequency, quality, depth. So important, right? Write that down. Frequency, quality, and depth.
So, let's make it a name. If you want to improve your mindset in the world, improve your relationships. Your whole perspective will move towards optimism. Like, and you know this 'cause you've been in love before. You fell in love and what happened? Everything shifted in your mind. You felt better about yourself. The world was great. There's flowers blooming around the world. This person's so lovely. You see no faults with them at all. You are completely blinded by love. You are completely absorbed. Your whole mindset improves in life. It's like one of the determinant major mindset shifts in people's lives when they fall in love or get married. It's like, like a huge ramp to mental health. Massive.
Also, when people's relationships fall apart, it is a massive detriment to their mental health. It's majorly measurable, but it's also malleable. Like, someone broke up with you, you can shift that mindset right back into gear faster than you think. It does not take decades to recover from a divorce. I know that people commonly say that in our world. And you know what? Maybe out of one out of 10 times it was that bad. But it doesn't take decades. We're the ones who taught ourselves it takes decades to shift things. That became from a therapeutic culture that is truly emboldened and acting from a place of, "I want to be forever paid to make sure this person talks about these problems." That is not a way to move towards real resolution and true mental growth. And I'm not saying that therapists operate from that. The industry does. But there's good therapists and bad therapists. Just like in my world, there's good coaches and bad coaches. No great coach wants to work with you forever. That is a financial incentive towards them. That is not your transformation in mind.
And so I want you to understand, like, none of these things take, none, it does not take that long. Sometimes it takes that long for the average person because they're not doing what? Mental conditioning and mental training. They're not actively working on their mindset. But remember all the studies in mindset, go read them. The studies in mindset show that short-term interventions to teach someone to improve their mindset can overcome years-long of bad grades and bad mental health. It's an incredible improvement. Cognitive behavioral therapy, even, is in the therapeutic realm, has shown short-term interventions on cognitive behavioral therapy and the tools related to CBT can dramatically improve somebody's mindset, but also positive outcomes in short periods of time, not years.
This means you are changeable. And I'm here to tell you, your relationships are more changeable than you think, too. Your ability to be in more frequent, positive, deep conversations with people. Often it just means, yo, pick up the phone and try to condition that relationship for those areas. Don't try to think the relationship needs to change immediately. Notice the words I use. You are conditioning the relationship for frequency, positivity, and depth. Like if I want to get more frequency, positive, and depth with one of my brothers, it's not going to happen in one conversation. But in conditioning that conversation over a period of time, a short period of time, just weeks or just months, it's astounding how that relationship can improve.
So I want you to see the dramatic impact you can have in your life when you just make it a name. Find one, two, three, four, five people, more frequent, positive, and deep conversation. Just try. As you do develop that, here's what magically happened in the research of self-determination theory as an example. When somebody improves their relatedness that they have with other people, guess what happens? Their sense of agency goes up. They actually assert themselves in the world more. Guess what? Their competence goes up. Their sense of like, "Oh, I can, I have the knowledge, skill, and ability to make positive improvements in life." And one of the greatest places you can make positive improvements in your life is the people you love. And if you got anything from this training at all, please improve your mindset so you can improve your relationships. But also realize when you improve your relationships, you improve your mindset. Everything I've spoken about today, I purposely structured so that any academic watching this, any psychologist watching this later, can go, "Wow, he tied a lot of things that actually do correlate with each other. These aren't separate concepts." I'm trying to weave this tapestry together for you to realize: you improve your relationships, you improve your mindset. You improve your mindset, you improve your relationships.
So, make it a specific aim. Okay, number six. Man, I hope you guys are liking this because I'm just vibing on this training today and uh, I'm trying to remember everything in my brain. Um, okay. I need to increase the same thing. I'm going to give you an acronym now: frequency, positive interaction, and depth, specifically with mentors. If you don't have mentors, consider them coaches. If you don't have mentors or coaches, inspirational figures. But I'd rather you get off of this social media train belief that just following positive people is going to make the difference. I'm here to tell you that has perpetuated. Imagine the generation behind you. They've been told this lie: "Well, just follow positive people, you'll be great." Well, guess what also is in that positive people pool? Negative people, divisive. Also, even following them can engender too much comparison. What we need is mentors, role models, actual interactions with people who observe you and give you real feedback. Following somebody on social media is not the same as getting a feedback mechanism and loop in your life from an expert, a mentor, a coach, an aspirational figure, or role model, whatever you want to call it. I'm going to generalize it as mentors and coaches because I want you to seek them out, not just follow them. Seek them out because what are we trying to do in this specific thing? I want to be very specific for you. What I am trying to do is I'm trying to actually introduce to you critical feedback. And you're not going to get that on social media. I want you to have critical, genuine feedback from experts, mentors, role models, people who have been there, or people who can coach you to there.
Because we live in a world right now that believes, "Oh, negative information into me will ruin my positivity." And I'm like, "No, sometimes negative information to you is just actual critical feedback." And if we don't get any critical feedback, we can't handle the errors that we tend to make in our thinking and our behavior. See, part of having an adaptive mindset and growing in life is learning to be aware of and anticipate errors. It's one of the things that makes the human species extremely capable in how our brain operates versus other species. Like, we are very able to spot errors, right? We have a high negativity bias in terms of spotting error. Our error detection systems have made our human, like, like we build a building, it falls over. Oh, error, not got it. Built building, fell over. Let's not make that same error in new buildings. That ability to build by identifying error is so important. But see, in most people's lives, part of their building is leaning over. They're already near, you know, falling over. There's already enough negativity there. It's already structured wrong. And if you don't have an architectural engineer come and go, sometimes like, "Hey, man, you better support this beam over here, or you're going to just, this thing's going to collapse. You haven't set this up right, it's going to collapse." That's not negative feedback. That is critical error detection. That is so important to make sure the thing doesn't collapse. That's called critical feedback.
I want critical feedback in my life. When I reach out to mentors, experts, thought leaders, role models, coaches, I want them to tell me, "What are you seeing here? Give me the feedback. Give me the hard stuff, the harsh truth. Give me the tough love." If I have no one giving me tough love from an expert position, I'm growing slow, man. Because see, you don't know you're building the building wrong until you get an expert in and go, "Yeah, I don't think it's going to work for you. Here's some best practices that people have learned years ago. Let me help you put this in motion." So, I want you to seek out a mentor, a coach, somebody you can talk to to give you critical feedback. Right? Even in, like, I tell people all the time, it's like, if you are dealing with dramas and traumas and difficulties year over year over year and you've not cracked that, then work with a therapist. And here's how you know if you got a great therapist: after three sessions, are they being real with you, or are they just allowing? And I know for the therapists who are here, I trust me, I understand the different styles of therapy. I understand why sometimes in psychotherapy you don't want to do that too quickly with people. But I also think that the great therapists, they understand how important it is to be real. They will give that tough feedback. They will say, "Well, that's an interesting way to think about that. Tell me more." And they will suss something out. And if it's something that is leading that person, if it's a thought pattern leading to disorder over and over and over, you can't just listen to somebody's thought pattern leading them literally into pain and disorder every day and not address it. The faster you address it, as you learn to be more capable, then what ends up happening is we can move this person through healing. If we don't give a person awareness, we can't give them healing. How do you give someone awareness? You often have to note where there is error-prone, where there is disorder, where there is difficulty. And that tough love, that straight candid feedback. Guys, you want that. You want that. You want that more than your self-esteem will ever ask for or allow. But see, I'm not here to placate your self-esteem. I'm here for personal development and spiritual development. I'm here to activate a potential that's not even here. See, I'm trying to activate you towards a potential that's not here. So, your self-esteem in the immediate moment might not be the thing I need to placate towards. And if you're around people who are yes men and yes women and they never tell you the truth, they're placating your self-esteem. They're trying to get acceptance or love or something from you by not telling you the truth. Here's the problem. Most of the world won't tell you the truth because they just want to go along and get along. That's why you need to find that paid mentor, that paid expert, somebody above you who can take you to a whole other level. It's so important to get that critical feedback. I don't know how you're gonna set up in your life. I just know you need to. I've been doing this what I do a long time. I have other coaches who coach me. I have therapists who work with me. I have experts who are public speakers, marketers, teachers, trainers work with me. I'm always seeking that critical feedback from somebody who, and please listen, somebody who I chose. I chose that coach. I chose that therapist. I chose that expert. That's what I'm saying. Seek them out. Listen, the audience will make noise at you, but they might not know how to deliver critical feedback. That's not their expertise. I want to find people who know how to do that and know how to do that well to accelerate my progress. That's what I'm talking about here. Increasing your frequency with that person, your positive conversations and interaction with that person, the depth of relationship with that person. The relationship I have with my mentors, they're like lifelong mentors. The relationships I have with my coaches, it's like we go deep. I don't let them do superficial work with me. I don't let anyone do superficial work with me because that critical feedback makes me go faster. I hope that helps.
Okay, number seven. And I'll go a little faster because I think we can really add up on some of this. Number seven, I need you to develop real skill practice. What does that mean? Many of you heard me before. I want you to identify the five key skills that are necessary, that are necessary for your next three years of advancement in your life. The five key skills that are necessary for your advancement for the next three years of your life. I want you, what are they? Okay. Well, skills I need to develop, uh, persuasion, uh, copywriting, um, let's see, the ability to negotiate, um, the ability to do finances, um, whatever it is. And it can be casual, personal, professional, I don't care. But see, remember, your mindset, your set of beliefs and assumptions about yourself has a lot to do with your sense of capability and competencies, as we talked about. So if I get more competent and capable, my perception and belief and assumptions about self goes up. One of the easiest ways to do that is developing skill in life. And a lot of adults stop skill development. Here's what they tell themselves: "Well, Brennan, I just do on-the-job training. You know, I just show up to work and it's hard. My work is hard. That's my skill development." And I'm like, "What are you, a ninth grader? You just show up to school and take whatever the teacher gives you." Well, maybe that works when you're a kid because there's not many expectations and you don't have that much impact. But as an adult, if you just show up to the world and take what it gives you, that is not a conscious development of self. As an adult, you need to level up your skill. And when you level up your skill consciously and consistently, you come to life because you are actively learning.
We also know this is important not only to your mental health but literally to your brain function in the future. Those who are working on skill in their life show better progress throughout their life in terms of their brain health, also lower levels of dementia, uh, dementia, dementia and Alzheimer's are genetic and also activated by health and lifestyle. And a lot of research shows if you can be active in your mindset, active in your learning, meaning use your brain a lot over a period of time, it does decrease the frequency of those things. It doesn't mean it won't happen to you. Again, there are genetic elements there. It just means overall in the meta-studies, we can see that we can decrease those things, decrease their effects, or decrease the chances of them if we stay active. Just like we know that you'll be stronger later in life if you stay active physically. Well, we want you to stay active mentally. How do you do that? Skill development. Identify your top five key skills. Then make the plan. Make the plan. Get the resources. Hire the coach. And just do it. Like, just do it. Like, develop those skills even if they're hard. I'm only here with you today because I taught myself skills that I did not have any skill. I didn't have any skill in teaching, training, video, broadcasting, building a software company. There's nothing I do today that I came out of the womb going like, "I'm good at this." Like, I don't, I can't think of any natural talents I had. Yep. Not one. So, maybe you have lots of natural skills. I couldn't pick up a guitar and play it. I had a friend who could pick up a guitar and play it and he wanted to become extraordinary at it. So he practiced and he practiced and he practiced. He had a natural talent, but he wanted to become extraordinary. Practice, practice, practice. Develop the skill that will turn your brain back on, turn your life back on, and yes, improve your mindset measurably and truly change your life.
Okay. Number eight. Your mindset is driven by stress management. Your mindset is driven by stress management. Obviously, your mindset decreases how you think about yourself and others in the world. It decreases if I'm stressed all the time. If I'm always stressed all the time, guess what ends up happening? The world looks very negative because that's how it feels. Like that stress in your stomach, it starts getting in your mind and back and forth. And so I need you to understand, like, okay, why did I share earlier the APR, one of the, the piece for practices of moving towards your aims, but practices of well-being. This is where this comes into sharp relief. We've got to get you dealing with stress well. Dealing with stress well takes two very simple things. One, don't zoom in on the problem. Most stress is zap-induced. Write it down. Most stress is zap-induced. I am stressing because I'm zooming in on the problem. I'm making it personal. And now I'm going to shame or stop. I'm creating a bigger problem. I'm creating the stress. I'm shaming myself into stress. I'm attaching personality into stress. I'm zooming in on problems over and over and over on stress. It doesn't mean that they're not there. However, we have to realize, like, we need to broaden that perspective of mindset moving towards that positive view of self, social, and the world. Realizing I can have agency here, recalibrating back to aim. I know you already know this.
But the second piece about this stress is those practices that enhance well-being. How do we know how to do this? Scientifically, it's super simple. You need to make sure you're getting seven to eight hours of sleep. You need to make sure you're focused on breathwork each day, being aware of your breath. You need to make sure you take a break multiple times throughout the day to rest your mind and rest your eyes, not stress your eyes so much. So much eye strain today from scrolling and screens cause so many headaches and migraines, but also mental and visual fatigue. We need to make sure that you are surrounding yourself and engaging with positive people. Frequency, positivity, and depth. We need to make sure that you're also not stressing out your body by feeding it poison. You need to have good nutrition in your life. Simple things in motion like that can change your stress over a period of time. You got to get better sleep. You have to make sure you're not zapping into problems. You got to make sure that you are taking care of yourself with multiple practices of breathwork, meditation, or a break from the day. You got to be around positive people. You got to eat well. I know you all know those things, but those are so critical to stress management. And don't worry, I also talk about movement here in a second.
Number nine. One of the number one problems with mindset is how we perceive fear. And this is important to realize. When we zoom into a problem, we attach ourselves and we punish ourselves. Those are realities. What we do is we believe that fear, um, that, you know, fear is the thing that's holding us back. Fear is not holding you back. Mindset is holding you back. Now, the emotion of fear when there is physical threat to you, like real physical threat, that is one type of fear. But that's again, maybe one out of 10 times. Nine out of 10 times, fear is poor management of our mind. What we are doing is we are specifically worrying and ruminating about a few very simple things. We are worried about ruin. We are worried about regret. We are, uh, worried about responsibility. And we are worried about rejection. I call these the four Rs for those who've trained with us before.
Okay, let's work through these briefly. If fear is guiding you, let me tell you a couple things it's coming from. Number one, you have to realize it's probably not real fear. Like the emotional fear, the, the impulse of fear that hits you. It's probably not that. Like when you walk to the edge of a cliff, that's real fear. There's, there's a physical threat and it's like, wham, it hits you. Most often, fear is being conditioned. Write it down. Most often, fear is being conditioned. That means it is a mindset, not a physical impulse. We confuse them because they kind of feel the same. But if I need to train someone out of fear, notice the words I said. I need to train them out of fear. Now, they may or may not be in the emotion of fear, but they have a fearful mindset. And that's what I'm talking about today. How do you get a fearful mindset? You worry and ruminate about these things. You worry and ruminate. And you condition a mental fear frame by worrying about four things.
Number one, ruin. I'm going to be destroyed in the future. I won't be able to come back. My reputation is ruined. My business is ruined. My relationship, like, you just think it's catastrophic, unrecoverable. That's ruined. Like the building is destroyed, cannot be rebuilt again. Ruin. So we just got, we constantly think about that, right? Talk about zooming in on a problem. It's not just zooming in. It's constantly worrying about it, fueling about it, ruminating on it over and over again. There's a pattern. There's a consistency. There's a permanency to the zoom, if that makes sense. So I want you to understand it's like, wow, that's called catastrophizing. You need to stop that. Period. When you start hearing it, you need mentally aware to go, "Wow, I'm, this is some ruinous thinking. I am telling myself it's going to be ruined forever. I don't know that it's permanent. I don't know that I can't rebuild from it. I need to recalibrate my sense of agency, my sense of social support that I have, how the world moves on." Whoa, whoa, this is not ruinous forever. Like that's negative thinking. Let me stop that. Okay, let me flip it now. If I'm worried about ruining, let me instead of worrying about ruminating, let me start aiming towards building. If I was going to aim towards building it, what would I do? If I was going to aim to maintain, what would I do? If I was aim to avoid the ruin, what would I do? What will be the next right action of integrity to ensure I don't ruin it? And that just shifts your gears into a positive, integrous, forward motion and allows you to get out of that immediate fear.
Second, regret. You're so worried you're going to make a choice that you'll regret that you don't make the choice. Does that make sense? A lot of people fear regret. They don't know they're fearing regret. They're just like, "I don't know. I guess I shouldn't do that." They don't realize regret is a thing. They're, they're scared to be 80 years old and go, "I made the wrong choices." You know what the 80-year-old you wants is to look back and go, "Went for it. Went for it." It's very rare that people regret their actions to go for things they wanted. Instead, they regret what they did not do. Well, guess what fear positions you for? Fear is the thing that positions you for regret. You fear regret. You fear making the wrong choice. But fear is the thing that makes you make no choices. So fear of regret is a problem itself. Does that make sense? So what you need to do is go, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let me flip this. I'm fearing this regret. Am I fearing the regret because it's below a standard of integrity? Or I'm just fearing regret because I don't know what's going to happen? I'm actually fearing uncertainty and I made the wrong choice." But I always bring people back to Jeff Bezos's famous conversation where he said, you know, at any given time at Amazon, they didn't know what the right choice was. They didn't have complete information. They tended to have 60, maybe 70% of some information, relevant information and data, and they go, "Enough. Move with it." Because guess what? You can change, you can shift, you can pivot, you can adapt in the future again, but you need to move. You got to be in forward motion. You're going to make tons of mistakes at the end of your life. It's less about those mistakes and it's more about the things you never tried that meant something to you. I need you to move towards what means to you with real speed, real intensity, real urgency, real care. And if you do that over and over and over again, you won't have regrets. You'll make mistakes, but they're not regrets. They're mistakes you recalibrate from, you pivot from, you learn from, you get better. And because you got better, you don't regret it. You go, "Actually, I developed a lot of skill from that. I made errors, but I developed skill, competency, and success from those errors. I didn't just stay in place, shaming, and stopping because I was fearful I might make the wrong choice." You make lots of wrong choices. But if you move towards things that matter to you consistently, there'll be way less regret in life. We can all agree on that.
Next, we fear responsibility. I love the quote from Marianne Williamson where she talks about we don't fear our darkness or or what we're incapable of or unworthy of. What we really fear is our light. What we really fear is our powers. What we really fear is what we're really made of. That's what I mean by responsibility. We're scared of our full powers because if I, if I access my full powers and I take on more responsibilities, well, what if I fail? Well, same conversation we just had. But the truth is, people fear taking on more responsibility because they think they can't handle it. That's a mindset. That's not real emotional fear. That's a mindset. "I don't know if I can handle it." That's mindset. And if you do the things we talked about to develop your mindset and be aware of our mindset today, I promise you, you'll be stunned by it. Like, you want to take on more responsibility. That's one of the real distinctions of a positive, healthy, responsible mindset is, "Oh, my mindset is I can take on more. I can handle more." Not in a way that tips me over or breaks the building, but just because, like, I've developed the belief in self. I've developed the social network. I've developed a perspective of the world is for me. So, let's go. Like, I, I know I'm busy, but I can take it. Now, you have to have those same practices of well-being that you don't over-tilt. But most people, they're not burned out because of actual effort towards meaningful pursuits. They're burned out because of the fear, the stress, the worry, the fatigue. They didn't have the practices of well-being to sustain the energy. They weren't doing the wrong things or even taking on too many things. They weren't taking care of the temple. They ran out of gas. And I think that's really important to notice. That's why you have to take care of yourself. And as you take care of yourself, you'll realize you can take on more responsibility without taking on too much. So this is not about Type A achiever stuff. If that feels like that to you, you might need to watch more of my teachings and trainings and the intent from it. I need you to have well-being and positive relationships. And we have more well-being and positive relationships, you'll just notice you're higher performing. And the research proves it.
Next up, rejection. You're fearing what other people think. Remember, judgment, comparison, division. We're fearing that. We're fearing people will abandon us, leave us, judge us, be negative towards us, betray us. And you fear that. Your mind says, "Other people bad. Other people have negative intent. Other people judge me. Other people abandon me. Other people leave me." And remember, that's a mindset. That's a set of beliefs, uh, that's a sense of belief and assumptions and perceptions that you're actively creating. And you have to question, is that serving me anymore? A mindset that fears rejection kind of makes sense when you're a teenager. Very much does not make sense when you're in your 20s, 30s, and 40s. Now, this is not about, you know, doing what's appropriate or social acceptance. This is about irrational fear of rejection. Most people aren't thinking about you. You're making it personal. Most people won't abandon you. They're not even with you yet. Most people won't, like, betray you. They don't even know your truth. And so what most people fear in rejection, I'm like, they can't even possibly reject you. They don't know you. They're not with you. They don't understand you. Why are you worried about them? That is your irrational need to have every stranger love you. That's just not how life is going to work. Not every stranger is going to love you. What you need to do is cultivate the people around you to develop frequency, depth with them, and positivity with them. As you do that, promise when you get a core group of people around you who really get you, who know your truth, they don't abandon and betray you. What you realize over a period of time is that more of them are with you. It doesn't mean one won't. Hey, everybody's got their Judas, right? Doesn't mean one won't. Everyone's got a doubting Thomas. It doesn't mean that. But listen, there's probably 12 good ones and maybe two really go off on you. So, it's really to understand it is a numbers game. And you can't say that one person left you was forever awful and catastrophic. It's like, no, no, no, there's redemption. There's rejudition. There's a rise. It's coming. So, I need you to understand that even if that happened, because that's happened a lot in my life. Being as public as I am as a person, every day people judge me, right? You probably judge me. You know, don't like my shirt or my hair or how I talk. It happens every day. I hear it literally from thousands of people every day. Somebody's judging me. But I'm not aiming towards everyone's acceptance. I'm aiming towards fulfilling my purpose. And some people will understand and come along, and some people won't. So, my aim is my prioritization, not acceptance of everybody around me who doesn't know anything about me in the audience. Does that make sense? Your aim is your art, not what everyone's going to say when they walk in the gallery half drunk, not knowing anything about you, just looking for free appetizers.
Okay, last big idea for you today, and I think this is so obvious, but I have to build towards it every single time. We've got to get you into real exercise in your life. And this one's so critical towards your healthy mindset over a period of time. And it's so easy. I shared earlier that just improving your relatedness with other people can dramatically improve your agency and your competency. We know simple ways of just improving your physical health, dramatically improve every known outcome of mental health. Even people in the deepest of disorders, outside of perhaps real extremity of like schizophrenia, helping people move and work out is dramatic improvements in their longevity, meaning their aging process, meaning their brain health. And of course, as we improve those things, we improve our daily mental sense of the world. Like, if we can increase your energy in terms of your physical body, we can do dramatic wonders for your mindset and your mental health and longevity. And I mean, this is so baked into our current concept, but there's a lot of other generations that aren't learning this or never learned this. So, they don't work out. They don't take care of themselves. They don't understand the dramatic decline in their musculoskeletal, in their brain health. They don't understand how decline comes really fast. But also radical improvements on the other side are immediate. Like if you work out and then, like, for example, if you work out and you, if they have a workout practice, a meditation, sleep practice, and a sauna practice, you're talking about double-digit increases in positivity, double-digit increases in your optimism, double-digit increases in your productivity. Like, these are measurable things. Like, it's incredible.
So, I've issued this in almost every training I've done for 20 years, and I'm going to issue it today. If you've never had a year that you got in the best possible health of your life, that year, make that this year. And if you ever had a year where you were in the best possible health of your life, what did you do there? What are the three things? And can you bring those practices back into your life? Because you're already familiar with them. Just kind of bring them back in. "Oh, I used to ride my bike." Okay, ride your bike a little bit. "Oh, I used to do this before I slept." "Used to take a long walk after dinner." Okay, let's bring that back in. "Oh, you know what? I used to jog." Okay, let's bring that back in. But if you've never made the challenge, the longest, like, I know people, I just worked with somebody literally last week. She's 57 years old and never had a year in her life where she said, "This is going to be my healthiest year physically." She never had it. And if you never have that as an aim, guess what? You've never tried it. Now, I know this is where people go, "Bren, asking people to have a physical routine for a year, you know, that's asking too much." I'm like, "Why? You, you, you might live 80 on average. You can't have one that you tried." "Well, most people, Brandon, they can't maintain something for two weeks or three weeks." I'm like, "That's fine. I don't work with most people. I work with you. I work with strivers, achievers, people who want actual development in their life, people who actually get everything I was talking about today, who care about these things. And if you care about these things, then I can tell you, you will take care of your physical body more. Because when you do that, all of this gets better. All of this gets better."
And I'm going to bring this right back to this point right here. You have the ability to improve all of this. To improve all of this in two simple ways I shared today that just have unbelievable efficacy. Two simple ways is: number one, practices for your well-being. Exercise, right? Meditate, sleep, take care of yourself. Get outside in nature, walk, do all the things you already know you should do for your health, but make it a goal. Make it an actual aim to improve your life, to improve your physical structure and health. Second, relatedness. Improve the relationships around you. That's very simple. Those are like external things immediately you can do. Exercising in the real world, developing relationships in the real world. Internally, realize that your mindset is driving your aim. So if your aim is down, revisit your mindset. Your emotions down, revisit your mindset. Your achievement is not what you want, revisit your mindset. You're not active in the world, not having agency, revisit your mindset. How do you do that? Come back to your dynamic lens. Look at how you are perceiving yourself, your relationships, and the world. What does that mean? Look at how you're perceiving it. Look at the positive or negative beliefs you have about intent, intelligence, interaction, control, capability, and changeability. If you will do that, I promise we can really make this today not just a conversation. This is a master class.
So, take a screenshot right now on three. Everyone take a screenshot. One, two, three. Awesome. Print it out. Look at this. And realize you are developing your mindset. It is conscious conditioning, or you're just reacting and showing up. It is developing your mindset so you can have positive outcomes in your life, so you can be on the ascendant path, or you're just stuck and you feel the same in your 50s and 60s as you felt in your 30s and 40s. You never taught yourself to feel better, to perceive better, to move through the world better. Your mindset is your mode of operation. Your mindset is that windshield. It is that lens. Your mindset shapes so much of your success and joy and relationships in life. It deserves a second look. If it deserves a second look, two very simple things you can do. Number one, make sure as you are in Growth Day, just listen to the Daily Fire. Every day in the Daily Fire, I give you a new mental conditioning training. Basically, I give you a new framework or a new perspective or a new lens to look at life, or to look at your psychology, or to look at how you're behaving, or to look at your habits. Every day I'm leveling up your mindset, and it does, remember, take an everyday practice. It's a dynamic thing. It shifts. So, I got to be in your ears. So, let me help you with that with the Daily Fire. Second, ask, watch this training again. Right? Even though I had to judiciously move through because I'm trying to get psychological concepts, maybe it's not my funniest or my most enthusiastic exciting. I had to cover a lot of concepts. This was a full seminar. I want you to listen to it again. Like, go for a long walk, two, three-hour walk and listen, or sit down with your journal and listen again. And really journal along with it. Ask yourself questions along with it. This time you took it in to learn the frameworks. Next time I want you to go deeper into them. Third, if you have family, if you have a friend, if you have somebody you know with the kids or somebody who you really care for and love and you just know their mindset has never been developed, or you know their mindset's really bad right now, could you invite them into Growth Day? Give them the gift of the Daily Fire. Give them the gift of a training like this. Just invite them into this world. You do a lot of personal development. A lot of what I said today, you might already know. You read books or you're familiar. I'm here to tell you, 98% of the world is not familiar with what we talked about. And I can tell you, 99% of the world have never done consistent mental conditioning to enjoy life more, to overcome their challenges and dramas and traumas and difficulties, to move forward with real joy and engagement and confidence and agency in their life again. Most have never done the work at all. I know you have, but I don't want you to take it for granted. Other people around you have not. And I'm sure that frustrates you sometimes. So keep being the role model, but maybe also be that, that critical catalyst to change their lives by inviting them in to Growth Day. Just send the link out to growthday.com. Encourage them to join us. Say, "Hey, you know what? This has really helped me with my mindset and my motivation. Let's teach the world that self-improvement really matters. Let's make self-improvement a way of life for people throughout their lives, not just one time, but consistently because personal development and growth is a dynamic thing we are conditioning."
So, I want to thank everybody here for being with me today. I want to thank you for doing the conditioning, for caring about your mindset and your brain and your health and your relatedness and how you move through the world. We need more people doing personal growth in the world. And I love that we do that every day in Growth Day together. Thanks, everybody. We'll see you next time.