Transcription
It makes, I think it's probably good for us to break up, but I just love you so much. I listened to "Agony" a couple more times and it seemed to help. Today's the first day and I'm going on a walk. I couldn't get out of bed for like 40 minutes because I was, I just need someone to like talk to. I don't feel that great. I mean, I don't know. I don't know if it's the breakup that's making me this way or because of how reliant I was and just socializing with my girlfriend.
I did promise her that I wasn't going to text her until at least 6 months. I told her I would only text her if I was ready and I was like, moved on. And I don't know if that'll be the case. So I hang out with some friends and got Korean barbecue, which helped.
It is day five. Um, today was the first day that I didn't like cry immediately after getting up, which is nice. I went to the gym. I feel good. It's officially been 1 week since the breakup. Yesterday I was this close to texting her.
It's day eight. I feel kind of like today. Today is day nine, I think. Still feel pretty shitty. I just feel so stupid. I feel like I lost something or someone in my life that was absolutely special to me. I kept waking up in the middle of the night, um, and then immediately thinking about ex, thinking that there's no way that she's actually gone.
All right, so today's day 13. I forgot to film something yesterday, um, but I think that's a good thing. I would have been happy with her. I don't know. We would have been happy together. I tried to call someone right now, my friend, but she's in class and I really almost wanted to like text her today, which I know is so bad. I just, I love her so much. I really, I really hope we can make something work out. I didn't do yesterday. I was hanging out with friends and then most of the day I was hanging out with friends. He was literally perfect. Tomorrow's Thanksgiving. I'm going to miss her so much on Thanksgiving. I literally, I, I don't understand how it's only been 23 days. I, I, I committed the dreaded action of texting her.
I adore you, the sound of your skin. I've been kind of a little bit more accepting of the potential fact that we're not going to get back together and that, you know, I think though, I'm kind of realizing that like at this point, there's nothing I could do about it. At least I know now that if we were ever, ever get back together, that I would fight for the relationship like till the day I die. I know that for a fact. And it's good. It's good to have learned this, you know. I just wish, I just wish I'd learned it when I still had the chance to to be there for her when she needed me.
Listening to "Island Song" from Adventure Time and that shot me in my feelings. Today was a really good day, um, but I think I am approaching the the acceptance phase for sure. Not feeling good today at all. Thinking about her the whole time and I wasn't able to be like present.
Today, I just, I just miss her, you know. I just miss her a lot. Um, it's now been officially exactly 2 months since we broke up. 2024 off to a shitty ass start. Yeah. Yeah. My last check-in, I think I've been doing. What are we doing? Francis stuck in the middle of the ocean. There's only one way out. The sun. Anything to say to the viewers? I'm the best. Oh, okay. It went up. But I've been like seriously debating like just taking a break from school cuz I was about to start up school. My shoes are pretty money. It's definitely tolerable. It's getting considerably worse. Welcome to DRG. Uh, in Conquer here's the kilter. Super cool stuff. You should check it out over here. Watch The Crying in the Rain to uh, Tech it.
It is Valentine's Day. It sucks. I wish I had my baby with me. I miss her a lot. I'm listening to the CU Lab podcast episode on depression. I around my can't stop thinking of you. I want so nice. Now, what's up gamers? It's your boy Gamer Got 8. I haven't done one of these check-in videos in a long time. I would say, I mean, I'm feeling a lot better compared to like, you know, 1 month, two months in on it. And that I am hoping. I want let my can't stoping.
4 and a half months or so, um, since I broke up with my girlfriend and I still miss her. And we were together for 3 years. And so it makes sense I feel the way I feel. Yeah. Do it faster, faster, faster, faster.
We said deuces to the job. I mean, the manager pretty much knew that, but feel a little bit bad cuz my communication could have been better. My date just took me to her lab. She's like in another room right now. Dude, that's so good.
But it's officially been basically 6 months since uh my girlfriend and I broke up and I'm in goddamn it Mexico. Okay, I'm in goddamn it Mexico. I mean, I've processed so much at this point, thankfully. I mean, I still very much miss her. I was 100% this is the worst breakup I'd ever gone through, um, but I learned so much from the relationship. It was a really nice relationship and I wouldn't, I could never ever regret the time that I spent with her. And I definitely think that just because of the sheer intensity of the breakup and how much it affected me emotionally, I think I'm kind of developing like an understanding that like, hey, like I'm okay on my own. Things will be all right. As much as I do like having relationships and stuff, fostering healthy relationships is important and is something I value. I think it's just like, I think this this period of time has made me develop a stronger sense of security and now I'm more prepared than ever for the next thing.
I think towards the end of this documentation process, I started recording way less and less in terms of like check-ins and stuff, um, but I think it only makes sense because I started to process emotions. And I think when I started this process, I was still kind of unpacking everything and really, really going through it emotionally. Things are much better. I'm working on myself. I'm climbing a ton. I'm in the best shape of my life, um, which I think is really good. I think it did, it did definitely prompt me, the breakup, to focus on myself and understand the importance of caring for yourself, just generally learning how to become a better person. And I think in a lot of ways that's one of the best things that can come out of a breakup is kind of like, how do I essentially turn myself into a better partner in for the future, um, and how do I become a better person in the. So, uh, it was definitely a rough 6 months, but I learned a lot from it, um, and we're still processing, we're still growing. So yeah, see what the future holds.
A hole of light through the big top tent up high here before and after me shining down on me. Tell me if I could send up my heart to you. So when I die, which I must do, could it shine down here with you? It's my love is mine. All I love my my. Nothing in the world belongs to me but my.