Chris Voss on The Art of Control, Tactical Empathy, & How to Win Any Negotiation

You got to understand it's not a sin to not get the deal. It's a sin to take a long time to not get the deal. 20% of the time they've moved on. They just haven't told you.

That's Chris Voss, former FBI hostage negotiator, author of Never Split the Difference and one of the most dangerous communicators in the world.

First of all, the act of saying no makes people feel safe and protected. We hate to hear no, we love to say it. Stupid. I mean, it's absolutely nonsense. I don't care. It works.

In this episode, [music] we walk through 10 phrases that will help you negotiate better in business, relationships, and every room [music] you walk into.

Question behind a question. It's the most important issue. Why are they asking? You can't find out if you ask why, but you can find out if you say, "What makes you ask?"

This is not a conversation about negotiation. This is a playbook for getting what you want without forcing it.

Every listener [music] should try this. Don't take my word for it. Do it four times a day. This is what's going to happen. Every person listening out there will be in seven to 10 negotiations today and most of them you will lose. The man that wrote the book on negotiation is here today to give you the 10 lines that flip that. Stay to the end and you'll see the frameworks behind them and a system to make you a better negotiator in every room you walk into. So let's get into it.

I want to start with yesterday I was doing research and I used one of your lines and we're gonna pop it up right here for everybody to see it. Okay.

But long story short, I'm negotiating with a sponsor. They don't respond for a week, right? I send over the one line. Uhhuh. They respond in two minutes. Yep. What is that one line?

"Have you given up on" and then name whatever it is.

I did just have you given up on this. I want to actually do it as low lift and as like I didn't think it was gonna work as fast as it did and I want to see what is a It's nuts, right? It's it's insane.

Why does that work? You're hitting several emotional triggers at the same time that really make people respond. Now, first of all, the act of saying no makes people feel safe and protected. And it's we hate to hear no, we love to say it. So, you got to understand what it's like to say it and the effect on the other person. So that increases the chance that they're going to respond because they don't feel trapped when they say no. They feel safe. They feel like they haven't let themselves in for anything. And then "Have you given up on?" Nobody wants to give up. And it also triggers a possible sense of loss. And loss is the the most dominating factor in human decision-making. It's not the only factor. It's just the most dominating. So you're triggering a possible loss. So they feel safe and protected. They don't want to lose. You're more likely to create action. It's one of the most powerful weapons out there, which is why people misunderstand the use of threats because that's the threat of harm, a loss. This doesn't cause it to feel like a threat, but they feel like they're giving up on something. It's going to be a loss. They're going to be triggered. And then in many cases on any given deal, there's a top-of-mind issue with the other side all the time. You know, everybody's everybody's brain is a mess. Everybody's dealing with chaos every day. Every business person on earth feels like a kung fu fighter where they're fighting off attackers from all sides at all times. And so the "Have you given up on?" brings something immediately to top of mind and it causes for somebody to trigger action right now. It's top of mind and if it's worth it and if the if losing it is harmful enough then they're going to want to move right away to respond.

So everyone should be looking under the lens that objectively aversion of loss is greater than any gain that someone can have. They should always be looking to talk about loss.

Well, there's a difference between talking about loss and getting the other side to think about it. And the more people talk about it, the more you potentially become a threat. So, you've got to find a way to get it going in their head without them really feeling that you're threatening them. The first move in a negotiation is really to move remove yourself as a threat. And that's why getting somebody to say no because you feel safe and protected, but you're bringing up the prospect of loss in their head. And that's why simultaneously it works.

So double clicking on that then just looking at yes versus no. Your goal among other things which we'll get into it throughout the episode. Disarming yourself as a threat is one, but another one is just getting them to say no. Period. That's a good thing.

Yeah. All the time. All the time. Without question. Cuz you every single time people feel safe and protected. They will say no to create an agreement that they've been saying yes or they've been avoiding saying yes to. It's stupid. I mean, it's absolutely nonsense. I don't care. It works. So, as simple as just flip-flopping it to make them say no, but they're making the same decision hypothetically in their head, right? Do you disagree? Are you against? Is this a bad idea? There's a variety of versions of that.

We were teaching, giving some training to a hospital holding company a couple weeks ago, couple years ago, a woman who was in charge of making a deal with with a hospital system. She had a head nurse in this hospital that was rejecting her proposals constantly, refusing to say yes. So to test this, she gets outside. She walks out of the room. She sends a text. "Are you against implementing this program?" The woman says no. Immediate implementation. She walks back in. She says, "You're not going to believe what just happened. This woman has been turning me down for weeks. I switch from yes to no." And I make the deal on the spot.

That's incredible. So, I did write the email last night, but I have not followed up yet. So, I'd love to know what's next. When I do write, "Have you give up on this?" and they respond, what is the next kind of natural progression or a way to re-engage back into something? Is there any like kind of key principles or piece of advice you can give there?

Yeah. Well, when you send that, "Have you given up on?" text or email. And it should only be that initially. You shouldn't add or subtract anything. It's got to go out word for word. The people that are highly hope-focused, they feel it's too harsh and blunt and they they just water it down and destroys it. But there's going to be one of three responses. They're going to make either they either going to make the deal on the spot, which is about 20% of the time, 20 to 30% of the time, you got an instant agreement. About 20% of the time, they've moved on. They haven't told you. They've moved on. They were playing you for the fool in the game. You were the rabbit, as they say. You were driving down a price on somebody else. You need to know that as quickly as possible. They'll tell you because you stopped wasting time. It's not a sin to not get the deal. It's a sin to take a long time to not get the deal. And so that's why you want to find out if you've been a fool in the game. Then the middle bulk of that requires some nurturing. They're close. There's fears that are in their way. They need a stronger relationship. So depends upon how they which of those three buckets your response comes in. If they need nurturing, they need to be feel heard. They need to feel understood. You got to summarize for them what their position is and why they've been reluctant back to them to bring clarity in their brain as to what's holding them back. And so if they're in that middle bulk that needs some nurturing, you're really your next move is summary of their perspective back to them. You're driving for "That's right" at that point in time. Then you can say, "All right, so what's stopping us from making this deal?"

Anything else in and around that that the listener should know about like the email subject or the tone in which you should do it? Because obviously you can do this via text in person, you can do it via email. Is there anything else in and around that they should know about?

It's one of the few texts or emails that you don't have to worry about the tone. Tone is often difficult in text and emails because people rarely hear it the way you wrote it. But "Have you given up on?" a text in just a text doesn't land badly. And if I'm sending it out in an email, it's only in the subject line. I might repeat it in in the body, but everything else they're after is a distraction. And you want them responding to the no. And then what comes after that tells you where you are. You got to let them think it through. It's like actually shutting up and going silence and waiting for the other person to respond. So I don't put a lot of extra stuff in an email. Don't put extra.

Works 999 times out of a thousand. When is the one time it doesn't work?

The one time it doesn't work is when the answer is yes and they just don't want to say it. So if you get dead silence, the answer is yes. You got to take it as yes, they have given up. Now move on. Period. Don't waste time. If if the answer is yes, you might ask yourself, what what's the context? If the context tells you, for example, I'm coaching a client number of years ago, he's got to deal with one of the big soft drink companies. Got to get signed by the end of the year. They're going to start all over again. I said, send the text. "Have you given up on getting this signed by the end of the year?" They're going to respond. They don't respond. And the guy goes, oh, it didn't work. I go, no, the answer is yes. So, here's the problem. They're a huge mega corporation. If the answer "Have you given up on?" is yes, then one of two things has happened. They've lost influence or you haven't been listening. In this instance, there's a pretty good chance that they've lost influence inside. He says to me, "Yeah, but you know, it's going to cost him." So, well, this guy's probably fighting for his life. So, he's got a choice of having his head cut off or having his hand cut off. Losing a deal with you is he's getting his hand cut off, but it ain't like getting his head cut off. So, what you got to do is you got to accept you're not going to get to sign in this calendar year. Send him another message saying, "Hey, look, you know, why don't we forget all this business nonsense. Let's go out and have a beer and a steak. I'm buying. We won't talk about business at all." The guy comes out of headquarters over. Different man. He's a different man when he comes out. Comes out of headquarters and and I said, "He'll tell you as long as you don't ask." And so they got out, they had the steak in the beer. And the guy was like, "Look, I've been transferred. I no longer have influence over this anymore, and I'm worried about losing my job. You were there for me the whole time. So, I'll tell you what. I'll connect you with the guy that can make the deal now." They made it the following year. So, if the answer is yes, they've given up, chances are they've lost the ability to make the deal. Now, if you want to take a guess on that, how would you proceed? They've lost the ability to make the deal. They're embarrassed. That's why they're not saying anything.

100% embarrassed. Can't admit to embarrassment. So, say, "I don't want to talk business. Let's just hang out. Forget all this nonsense." Show them that as a human being, they could share stuff with you. That's the only way to resurrect one of those. You basically just have to disarm them in just an environment that's more comfortable. And the key is just not to say anything. And you think through developing rapport, eventually they'll just tell you regardless.

You start hanging out with someone that should be doing a deal with you and you don't put any pressure on them to talk about it, it'll come up.

That's a good one right there. I think a lot of people just they get too impatient and they they feel like they need to go in for the kill, but ultimately if you just sit back, build a relationship, and you know, give value one way or another, they're going to come to you.

Let it come to you. Yeah.

This. "Have you given up on X?" We were talking off camera a little bit about 48 laws of power. What happens when someone uses it on you? Because I feel like you're getting a lot of emails from different people. What happens when people use tactics like that on you? How do you you acknowledge that?

It's always it's always context driven. "Have you given up on?" is so ridiculously effective that the people that I can't trust are using it as an opener. So now it's out of context. I can't give up on something that I haven't started. So, if you're trying to trigger me with that at the beginning, I now know I can't trust you and I'm probably going to put your email in spam. Now, if it's something that because of my chaos in my life is no longer top of mind and I've been dealing with personnel issues. I've been dealing with the gardener at my house. You know, we got to get out and see my girlfriend's parents. One of those things. And it's just lost top of mind. Somebody hits me with a, "Have you given up on?" on something we've been working on for a while and I'll get clarity. I'll be like, no. As a matter of fact, no, I haven't. And and it is important and we got to take next steps. And the next steps after having said no will always occur to me. So it works. "Have you given up on?" something I should be doing? I'm like, okay, this is what we got to do. And I'll send you a response saying like, no, I haven't given up. This is the following steps. Let's get going. So it works on me, too. So, from a sequencing perspective, I email you seven months ago, you say yes, and then I don't hear a follow-up from you, and then then I can do that line. Not saying that happened there, guys, but I'm just saying in context like that, that would be something good, right? We got this soft yes.

If they really are ghosting you or you know, I've got some people say, "Well, they're not ghosting me. They just haven't gotten back to me." Like, come on. They're ghosting you. You're not top of mind. It's buried in the chaos of their life. So, bring it to the top of their mind and see what happens.

Makes sense. Hope you guys are enjoying the episode. We put together a free PDF on Chris's playbook on how to win any negotiation A to Z. He has personally changed my life and how I negotiate. I think you will do the same for you. Links down below in the description. Enjoy the rest of the episode.

He talks about the gardener. We're going to go to the landscaper. We're going to go to chapter one where you start the book. Take us to the landscaper, the homeowner, the quote, the silence after. What is that line? Tell us about that line.

Well, somebody's throwing a price at you. You know, "How am I supposed to do that?" is I think the one we're driving at that was one of the first first things that most most powerful game changer like a magic w magic wand phrase as we often refer to. It's just first of all it feels differential. "What" and "How" questions feel differential. [sighs] The "How am I supposed to do that?" works on a multiple levels all in your favor. The other side doesn't feel trapped. You force them to take a look at you like eight out of 10 times. Not 10 out of 10, eight out of 10. 180 degree turn in the negotiations on the spot. They're going to turn around. They're going to offer. They're going to come back. They're going to offer something much better. You know, they were playing this. I asked for more than you want so I can settle with what I actually want. You pull them out of that. "How am I supposed to do that?" Also forces them to look at you and your situation. My son Brandon always referred to it as forced empathy. Make them look at you and see you and what you're struggling with. It's also about implementation. Somebody asks you about something you can't do. The first way of saying like, "Hey, are you out of your mind? This is impossible." Is you say, "How am I supposed to do that?" You make them think through how hard it is. Eight out of 10 times 180° shift. Now, the caveat, it's so effective so often that in the two out of 10 times when the person throws a right back on them, people are just like, "Oh my god, it didn't work." You know, well, when somebody says that to me, number one, their experience is 180° turn immediately. So often they're completely caught off guard when it doesn't work. And an executive for SpaceX hit a guy with this once $100 million deals. They're doing on a regular basis. Guy starts screaming at him. "I don't care what happens to you. I don't care how you do it. I don't care if you lose your job. You make this deal. It's not budging an inch." And he was so caught off guard by it. He had he had to get up and leave the room. He didn't expect the attack. And I said, "Okay, so two out of 10 times that guy just told you how backed into a corner he is. It's not that it didn't work. You got different data. You got unexpected data. "How am I supposed to do that?" tells you from the other side whether or not there's any room to move. And if they feel like they got no room to move, that's what caused the explosion. This is actually great information because you want to know that the other side is doing the best they can. And if that kind of a trapped angry reaction from them, either they're doing the best they can or they're be they got a gun being held to their head on something else and your deal is possibly their only savior. Now, this is powerful information to have if you put it in context. So, taking a break, giving everybody a few minutes to cool off is probably a great idea. Now you got to understand you got somebody on the other side of the table backed into a corner. Take a hard look at the deal in front of you. Realize it might be the best deal possible. That's what you needed to know in the first place. Have I got the best deal possible?

Well, about information gathering.

Information gathering. Now, if it is, since they're so fragile in the moment, you've got so much power to make a connection with them that'll last forever. If you can bail them out of this corner, they're going to be on your side forever. So, "How am I supposed to do that?" Will either turn it around 180 degrees in the moment or it's going to give you really valuable data that made you much smarter on how you're going to proceed.

How does science play into this? Science is critical. The other side is always going to fill the void with information you need. That's why it's so hard for you to do.

It's really tough to just say nothing for as long as possible. To say that you know again I my son Brandon was very involved in my company and helped with a lot of the evolution of what we've done and he used to say shut up count thousands to yourself. Don't stop till you run out.

[laughter] That's good. Cuz the other side's going to fill the void. And there's a really good chance they're thinking something through.

And that's just the cardinal rule is you just don't say anything. You ask these questions and we're going to go through kind of all these questions and lines. You never say anything. That's a rule, right? And one of the reasons, what's the scientific reason for that? Derek G, the head of my coaching, looked this up. He's always coming up with this that you're trying to trigger neurochemicals in the other side. Mostly oxytocin, serotonin. Oxytocin is also the truth drug. It's not just a bonding drug. It's a truth drug. If I if I trigger your oxytocin, [sighs] not only you going to bond with me, you're going to be more honest with me. It takes about six seconds for that to work its way through your system. 1 100 2 100 3 100 Most people can't stand for three, let alone six. I need to shut up so that I don't interrupt this hit of oxytocin. You're in the middle of getting a hard hit up. If I start talking any sooner than six seconds, I have just disrupted the chemical process. I was so desperately trying to get started. And that's one of the reasons why you really need to shut up when you say something so that the neurochemicals can go through their system.

Love that. When we're looking at this kind of "How am I supposed to do that?" and then kind of negotiating in general obviously leverage and positioning on both sides is very very key. Let's just say that like you're like a direct to consumer company. There's a bunch of people out there that have companies and you're negotiating with like a SAS company and you ask, you know, they have a crazy price and you ask "How am I supposed to do that?" What happens if you actually need the vendor? Like you have no other routes which you can go. If they truly do have the leverage, what do you do then and there?

Well, you're taking yourself hostage. Well, if you feel like you actually need the vendor, first of all, do you really? Well, you don't like the alternatives, but there's two differences between whether or not you got to make this deal and whether or not you act like you got to make this deal. Like in every hostage negotiation where there were victims on the line, it didn't matter if it was domestic or international. I never acted like I needed to do the deal because I don't want the other side to have that kind of power. Now, I'm not threatening to walk away. But I'm taking a really patient approach. The other side quote leverage and leverage is in the eye of the beholder. What if I don't care about your leverage? What are you going to do with it?

You know, which is why the powerful negotiator knows to dismiss the concept of leverage in their brain entirely because it's all about psychological interpretation from the other side. And the most powerful guys, I it it's like can you walk a tight rope with or without a net? Well, whether the net was down there doesn't make any difference on your ability to walk the tightrope. It's all in your head. It's a psychological reaction. As a hostage negotiator, we never thought about alternatives. We never thought about whether or not we could go to somebody else. But you get used to that. It's easy. It's just a matter of getting it square in your head. So, letting leverage go is what all the most powerful negotiators do. They just ignore it. They don't care about it. And ultimately it's probably like a deeper rooted business problem that you don't have other options as well too.

Or you just don't like the options, you know, and there's there's and there's always first of all, there's always a better deal in front of you, which you're less likely to see if you feel the other side's got leverage. Secondly, if you like the concept of leverage, if they're talking to you, you got leverage. Otherwise, they wouldn't talk to you. If they're at the table at all, there's something pressuring them to be at the table. So, there's always leverage if you want to talk in those terms. Otherwise, you wouldn't talk to me. If you're communicating about me, I got leverage. Let's say you make a a statement in the media. I got leverage. You're trying to influence me. Like, it's everywhere. So, there's never a time you don't have leverage. It's just about how you play the game, how you communicate.

Makes sense. Most people open with, "Do you have a few minutes?" That's something that I'm very very guilty of saying. What do you say instead? And why does it work?

Uh, "Is now a bad time to talk?" It's again a switching from yes to no. And the reason it works is everybody everybody globally and I know because I've negotiated in every culture on earth, everybody has been conditioned that if you're trying to get me to say yes, you're leading me someplace. The yes momentum has three yeses. Each yes is a micro-agreement or a tie down. And then I get you tied down with three micro-agreements and bang, I got you. That's such a loud statement that everybody follows by. It's it's.

Everybody every ministers do that. Preachers trainers [clears throat] in a big way.

Every everybody does it. A friend of mine used to change his call to Jesus from yes to no and got more people committed that way. Like and so if ministers are doing it like it's a universal issue. So if you say, "Have you got a few minutes to talk?" You may mean it respectfully, but you're talking to somebody who's been trapped by yes before. So it's triggering subconsciously defense mechanisms right away. Where's this going? How long's this going to be? What do you want to talk about? I don't I don't know. I feel trapped right away. So again, if you know that people are yes battered, feel yes trapped. Pavlov's dog, the bell rings, the dog, the dog salivates. Somebody asks me yes to trying to get money out of my pocket. Automatic defenses. "Is now a bad time to talk?" Just again flips the dynamic. And every listener should try this. Everybody listening to this, you know, don't take my word for it. Be your own human experiment laboratory. Be your own human nature laboratory. Do it four times today. This is what's going to happen. You only get one of two responses every time. There's a hesitation and then the other person says no no it's never a bad time to talk like just like that and from that tone of voice you have their complete and undivided attention for about 7 to 10 seconds but before you didn't have their undivided attention at all so you got their attention you got to come to the point or they'll say yeah it is a bad time to talk and they'll tell you when they can and then you have their complete and undivided attention, which is what you wanted in the first place. Those are the only two responses you're going to get. Do it four times today and see what happens.

You know what's really ironic about that is I got that yesterday. Ironically, someone said that to me. I don't even know what the definition is of a few minutes, but it's never [ __ ] a few minutes. That's the whole entire [ __ ] thing, man. It's never a few minutes. I'm very rarely, you know what I say sometimes? I'm like, "Are you free for 180 seconds?" And I make sure I have quick calls. That that actually works very very well.

I love that. Uh, anytime anyone says, "Are you free for a few minutes?" I'm just like, "What do you want from me?" And I don't know what the definition is of a three minute of three minutes, but like it's going to be 10 plus minutes.

It's usually ballpark's usually 45. One of my one of my favorite lines. Bill McCraven, Captain Admiral Bill McCraven. He He's responsible. He ran the operations that caught both Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden. That ain't a bad resume. I knew him when he was a captain. He's got a book out there called Sea Stories. It's a great book. They're talking about training with his seals in the Caribbean. Now, the Caribbean's warm water, but it ain't body temperature. So, if you're in the water for too long without the wet suits, you're going to have cold issues. These guys are strained out in the Caribbean, and the helicopter crews tell them they'll be out there in a few minutes. They're a little late. We'll be there in a few minutes. Three hours. A few minutes can be three hours. Like it's it's horrible in everybody's condition. Just like what you said, few minutes. How the hell is that? By definition is three. But God, I don't know how long a few minutes is. So it's a really bad it's a really bad phrase.

What do people get wrong on the other side? Like what do you recommend people do in response to that? Just don't respond.

When someone says to me, "Hey,"

When someone says, "Do you have a few minutes?" What would you respond if you were me yesterday? You got three.

That's a That's good. I'm sticking now with the audio note. Hit me with an audio note so I can so I can listen and respond on my own free time as opposed to you hijacking my time.

I like that a lot. And it worked amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Because then you're going to force them to focus what they have to say.

Yes. It was very very detailed, dialed, short, and then he I had a quick response back. End of story. We're done.

Perfect. Yeah. Well done. Voice note. Let's go, baby.

You're at the Jack Welch signing. 7 seconds, 200 people in line. You got one shot to pitch him, right? What's that line? And shout out to Jack Welch. That's an OG right there.

Oh, yeah. Sales. Super super big fan of everything that he did. I said, "Is it a ridiculous idea for you to come and speak at the negotiation course I teach at USC?" And initially, Jack, like me, when he's thinking, looks like he wants to kill you. I am.

He seems like an angry little man. He does seem like an angry little man. Because and and because his focused face, which is what he he went to right then. I didn't realize that at the time. He looked furious, but what he was doing was thinking through all the implementation steps. People have accused me of having a resting serial killer face. Like, if I'm really listening to you, you think I'm thinking about chopping you up and serving you with fava beans and a nice Chianti, right? I I was thinking that when I asked him before we were on camera like what are you most excited about and you're like nothing. I don't get too high or too low. I was thinking that in the back of my head. You do seem genuinely happy but yeah the body language I do feel like you could like dice me up right now.

A lot a lot of people when they're really thinking they they get a look and Jack that's that's the look that Jack had on his face and and horrified. I mean I thought first I thought he was going to have me thrown out. Secondly he looked so angry I thought he had a stroke and he died and he was going to fall over dead in front of me. But after what seemed like forever, of course, if you're on the other end of one of those looks, it seems like forever, he laid out the deal. He said, "This is my personal assistant's name. This is a Twitter account we have set up to communicate with her. I will call her and tell her who you are. I think we're going to be in Los Angeles in a fall. If we are, we're going to come in and speak at your class." All just cuz I said, "Is it a ridiculous idea?" No. He thought, "No, it's not ridiculous. What do we got to do to make this happen?" Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Laid it all out for me.

So that's the science behind it is it it obviously you elicit the no which we talked about how important that is. But then it gives them they're processing in their mind kind of the sequencing and what happens next. You're like allowing them to think what's next, right? Because if someone feels safe and protected, they don't feel like thinking through next steps obligates them. They'll lay out the next steps.

What's the response rate for something like that? "Is it a ridiculous idea?" I'm gonna use that one in I'm gonna use that one a lot. I like that one. I've never used it before.

Ah, I can't think of a time that's gone bad on me, you know. And if it is, I want to know if it's a ridiculous idea. And then, you know, there's a little bit of playfulness to it as well, which always works in your favor. I think playfulness is a superpower and it it's going to work in your favor.

Yeah, when I think about that, I definitely think about just like body language and tone. I completely agree. I feel like that's in my personality is I'm kind of like playful in nature. And when you say that, it's almost like you're joking, but you're not joking in a sense. That's how kind of I feel about it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

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There's a listener out there that has a business. They're talking to their business partner. Maybe they're bored and they have a risky pivot coming up. Maybe they're allocating a bunch of their revenue towards kind of a new initiative. How would they open when they're talking to that board member or partner? What's like a good opening line that they can do?

Well, within the context is is probably going to be you guys you guys going to think I'm crazy. You probably got to think I'm out of out of my mind. Because if you're throwing something really new, outlandish at people, it triggers their fear systems to start with. Oh my god, you haven't thought this through. You're probably crazy. This is out. You know, pe people's fear systems are going to kick into gear in if you know it's coming and it does. It's it's there all the time cuz we're wired to be negative. So, what you're doing is preempting it. You're disarming it in advance. And the crazy thing about it, you can't plant emotions. You can only nurture positives or you can deactivate negatives. Now, calling out a positive nurtures it. So people are usually afraid that calling out a negative increases it also in point of fact it disarms it and inoculates from it.

So that's the flywheel is you want to identify speak about all the negatives deactivate and then flip to positive.

Well, let make sure that they sink in and then see if they don't flip to positive on their own. And if they don't there's a pretty good chance that you haven't got all the negatives out. So then you say, and there's probably some other stuff here to be worried about that I haven't even mentioned because you need to know what's in the other side's head. Once you've disarmed the negatives, deactivated them, positives kind of start to take off on their own. There's a famous negotiation between Steve Jobs and Bob Eisner when Eisner's CEO of Disney first time and it was Disney buying Pixar and Jobs laid out all the negatives why he was adamantly against it. Now Jobs ends up being the big advocate internally for Pixar for making this deal. Their initial meeting at at at the Apple campus. Jobs laying out all the negatives, which sort of freaked Eisner out. He's like, "Oh, you know, I guess there's a lot of negatives." And Jobs on his own says, "Yeah, but sometimes the positives outweigh the negatives." He got them all out.

I like that. He got them all out on his own. He did. Basically, we call this the accusations audit. He did it to himself. If you don't know what's going on, you're the recipient of this. It scares the hell out of you. I mean, the first time through it just scares the hell out of you. And Eisner thought this thing was over on the spot. And he actually basically says that and Job says, "Yeah, well, you know, sometimes the positives outweigh the negatives." And that's really the way the brain works. If you can clear the negativity out of somebody's head, again, let the neurochemicals go, seek through, there's pretty good chance positive stuff's going to jump out and potentially make the deal for you. Ironically, I do a monthly meeting with my wife. We run our a relationship like an operating system. And the first thing I always do is I disarm with all of the things I've underperformed on for the month first to set the table before she can attack me. So, I'm like, I've done this wrong, this, this, this, this, this, and this. And I just acknowledge all of them first and we just clear the table and start at zero.

Yeah, that's perfect. Cuz she wants you to know. And the biggest thing is she wants to to know, you know, which almost sounds like, "Do I know? Do you know? Do I know?" But at that point in time, it really clears people's heads.

I think the same thing could be said for hiring people where you just let them know. You almost like scare them into how hard the job is going to be. Is saying them that you're going to be working long hours. There's a million different ways, but just. You're going to get an asymmetric benefit because the people that acknowledge that and want the challenge, I think, are going to be good people.

Or you're just going to get out the people that are afraid of those, let's just call them accusations.

Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. One of the employees who was a superstar, the only reason she's no longer with us is she got married and her husband moved. But she came in one day and she was looking to negotiate a raise, which although was probably appropriate, was early. And so I looked at her and I said, "You're overworked and underpaid." That's the first thing I said. She goes, "Yeah." And I said, "What promise did I break?" O cuz I told her from the beginning like we are going to work like crazy and you're going to feel underpaid and if you do your job, you make it easy for me to give you a raise. So the harder you work, the more money you can make. You got to work hard first and then we'll go there and show me that you're worth it. And the amount of money you can make with me is unlimited. It's only limited by your ability to produce value. And you lay stuff out like that from people in the beginning. Then and when you say, "What promise did I break?" Why did she come in? Because she was knocking herself out. And the people in her life were saying to her, "Look at the way you're knocking yourself out for this guy. How much are you getting made?" Somebody comes walking in like that. Somebody's whispering in their ear. And they don't know that that's the real influence. I know that's influence because I told you up front we're going to work really hard and it's not going to be super high pay to start with but that puts me in a position to continually raise what I pay you and then the ambitious the people who want to be challenged are down for that. Somebody will whisper in their ear, they'll have second thoughts, you know, whoever it is and they'll those second thoughts creep in. Let them come in and have a conversation. You're you're doing this not because you don't not satisfied with the job. You're not doing this not because I misled you. You're doing this because as an A player, the rest of the people in your life are B or C players. They feel less by comparison. So, it's easier to try to get you to lay off than it is for them to raise the level of their game. And that's why they whisper in your ear. So, it seems as though this accusation audit, a huge thing that people could get wrong is basically promising things that they can't actually come through with and then they get caught in that situation that you're talking about right now. So, initially saying stuff that potentially they can't live up to. What are some of those other kind of big things that people make mistakes with? Because it seems as though in this accusation audit, it's just like you're just telling them all the bad stuff. Is there any other things that people do wrong in that stage?

No. Well, first of all, if the accusations audit is doing an audit, yeah, if you will, of the bad things that they may be harboring about you, the accusations against you, not you against them, them against you, and listing them. Now, the in in the execution of that and then saying them out loud, usually starting with the the biggest things first and going three or four at a time and letting them sink in. Now, what people will do was they'll pull their punches. They won't want to overdo it. Like, I'm I'm a time is money person. So, I'm going to say to you, "Look, this is going to break your heart." Derek G on my team, he likes to say, "When I get done saying this to you, you're going to want to leap across the table and stab me in the eye with a pencil." The mistake people make first is like, "Well, you know, you might be unhappy with this." Well, you're pulling your punch. You're letting the other side know you're scared. And if you're scared, they ought to be scared. But when you're fearless, their confidence in you grows and you really want to get to the point where they go like, "Hold it, hold it, hold it. You, you know, you're being too hard on yourself. What is it that you need? Bang. Now you could go." So the the mistake that people make in doing it is being too fearful.

You have to go all in on it. And then have that play. I feel like it's it's playful in nature as well, too. This place to that as well too.

Playfulness is a great thing and almost everybody's heard of self-deprecating humor and that's throwing out the negatives that the other side thinks about you. You laugh, you go like, you know, I'm probably going to feel like the biggest jerk you ever met. Laughing. That's self-deprecating humor. That's adding playfulness to an accusation's audit and everybody goes like, "Oh yeah, I've seen people do that all the time." Well, this is how you break that down.

Love that. There's so much good stuff to take out of that for everybody out there. I want to get into the next one. Your students at Georgetown used this line on a low ball and the buyer raised the offer right on their own. What was that line and why did it work?

Well, "Your offer is very generous. It just doesn't work for me." That's the line. That's the one you're talking about because there's a couple these are versions of no. And it's really the second version of no. So, why does it work to start with? If you're calling them generous, even when they're being stingy, for your perspective, they're going to want to be more generous. You can nurture positive. You want to create more generosity from the other side to start with. That's going to do it because in their version, if they gave you an offer at all, they were generous. They could have given you nothing. So therefore, since I offered you 10% instead of zero, I was generous. Empathy is about how's the other side seeing it. Now to say it doesn't work.

For me, you do not want to get into this external criteria nonsense. Just because there's external criteria that backs up certain data, that doesn't mean it works for you. One of my Harvard brothers and sisters, very smart. Certain things I just do not agree with on them. One of them is, well, let's sit down and let's agree on a set of external criteria. And if we both decide on the external criteria, then the deal will make itself. Well, you're never going to agree on that external criteria. You're never going to pick numbers you like. You're going to pick numbers you like. So that's a fool's errand.

And this is talking about like salary benchmarks and stuff like that. Like the person in my role or my position in this market makes this much amount of money. Right? Yeah. Yeah. So what if I can't pay that? Or what if I can pay more? You just limited yourself one way or the other. External criteria is just so many subtle things you're saying. What if I could pay more? That's a good one. Yeah. You, I mean, you never know. Yeah. You're cutting yourself off on either end.

But as soon as I say it doesn't work for me, you can't come back with, "Oh, yes it does." You're out of the external criteria game entirely. Like I'm the only one that knows my internal data. I got proprietary information behind that. You can't say, "Well, people spend $1,000 an hour for this." If I say, "Well, it doesn't work for me." You got nowhere to go. You can't. So, you just want to deactivate this external criteria argument entirely because it's a fool's errand. That's the main goal of that. Obviously, you get the no and then you delete that external criteria.

Yeah. You know, and you're also focusing this down. You're letting somebody know you're close to turning and walking away and you're warning them in what feels like a very collaborative way. And you know, I did this process for a long time till a friend of mine, Ned Kleti, used to manage the Dodgers, LA guy here, still a commentator on sports, really like Ned a lot. And we're talking about it. He says, "Oh yeah, I had a mentor teach me to let out no a little at a time. Never let somebody get blindsided by no. Warn them. It's common." And this is one of the ways of warning people that no is on its way. And when I hit you with no, I don't want you to be caught off guard with it. I want you to know what's been coming. And if you haven't been paying attention, that's not my fault.

So incremental small nos. You're not saying no to that specific offer. You're just saying that this doesn't work for me. Thus, go back to the drawing board and find a way to make it work. That's on you now. You're pushing it on you to make it work. And I want to collaborate, you know, even though I'm pushing it back on you. Because it was a generous offer. Yeah. You know, let's go. And I'll throw one more thing in on that.

If you still haven't made the deal at that point, and for example, both sides have retired to think about the deal, probably a negotiation with multiple people on each side of the table, send an email to the principal spokesperson for the other side and tell them you appreciate how hard they worked on bringing the deal to the table, nothing else. Because if they get appreciation, the chances are that they will modify the deal much, much higher if they feel appreciated by you.

And just a simple subtle touch point in between while they're thinking through it, and you'll probably get 10x how hard you guys work because they did work hard bringing it to the table. They really did. Nobody doesn't work really hard. And so emotional compensation is extremely valuable. Jim Camp wrote "Start with No" back in 2002. He used to call emotional compensation worth four times dollar compensation. That doesn't mean the dollar compensation isn't valuable, but the right emotional compensation can be worth four times as much. And so you're giving the other side some emotional compensation. Chances they're going to modify the deal in your favor is very high.

That is such a simple, easy tactic that people can use out there. Just that simple email in between mid-negotiation. That's an amazing one. I want to add one on. I added one to your list. We're going to go through 10, but this one is a little different. Let's talk about the outcome with this Jeffrey Schilling case and the "that's right" versus "you're right." Oh yeah. Because it's one little small world and it changes everything. So I'd love to walk through that. Tell us about that case.

Well, Schilling is being held by an Al-Qaeda offshoot in the south of the Philippines. He has caused himself to be put in this position. And these guys, the main guy, Abu Sabaya, is a sociopathic killer, like by anybody's definition, is bad to the bone, as bad as they come, murder and raping bad guy, Bond villain extraordinaire. And he's got Schilling. And I'm coaching a negotiator with no previous negotiation experience, but coachable. Like this guy, he just cared about doing things well. He didn't care that he never saw the idea before. He was this this was a coachable guy. And we'd been stuck for a while. You know, we'd kind of tried. I had a fair amount of experience with Middle Eastern Islamic Arab terrorists. And I know, I know it sounds like I'm broad brushing, but you know what they say, all politics is local, right? So, an Islamic extremist coming out of Egypt is not going to be the same cat as an Islamic extremist coming out of the Philippines. I hadn't really learned that yet. And I knew what triggered the emotional buttons in the guys from Sudan and Egypt, and it's just not quite landing with this dude in the Philippines. So, we said, "Do a reset. I said, we're going to get him say 'that's right.' That's the only thing we're going to go for. And we're going to summarize everything this guy's ever said about this, and we're not going to explain any of it away because he'd come up with some nonsense. You know, we're holding, we want war damages. We don't want ransom. We want $10 million for 500 years of economic harm." And so, first of all, "war damages" makes him sound like a hero. "Ransom" makes him sound like a criminal. He wants to be a hero. You know, one man's terrorist, another man's freedom fighter. He wants to be a freedom fighter. So, all right. Right? So, let's talk to him like he is. Let's lay out all the stuff to him that he said, and then let's think of everything that's been implied, and we're going to summarize everything. You're going to go on at length. If you don't feel like you're laying it on thick, you're not laying it on thick enough for the other side to hear. You're trying to make them feel heard. At the time, I wasn't familiar with the neurochemicals. I mean, this is before the neuroscience that we have today. I just figured it was going to cause a reset. Our guy, my guy, lays it out. Long, long silence. First of all, it seemed like it took him forever to say it because we had a long list of negotiating points. Yeah. Yeah. You know, economic harm, colonial powers, Philippines been ravaged by everybody on earth pretty much. And so this was all this resentment that they had triggered, built up inside, they were claiming. And it gets done. And the sociopath on the other side still has neurochemicals. And after a long silence, the guy says, "That's right." And we sat there in silence for a while. And my guess is, "Let's talk again." A couple days. They get off the phone. $10 million ransom demand went away. It was never mentioned again. It was gone forever. They came back over the course of a couple of weeks with non-monetary stuff. So, and so moderator from Malaysia, get this guy in here. Get this politician. No, no, but we didn't say no. We just summarized. Continue to summarize. Continue to get "That's right." And finally, they just kind of disappeared in the background. They stopped checking on our hostage. He finally realizes he's sitting out there in a jungle by himself. They're gone. You know, people that used to be around him all the time, you know, slowly or fading away. He's sitting out there in a jungle. They let him go. They couldn't admit that they let him go. They just kind of went away. And so he, he's like, "Hey, what am I, you know, why don't I leave?" He does. And he's walking down a country road, dirt road in a jungle. Farmer sees him, alerts the military. They fly to Manila, big press conference. I'm back in the Philippines about three weeks later on another case, and the guy I was coaching says, "You're not going to believe who called me on the phone. The sociopathic murderer, Sabaya, calls him and says, 'Hey man, you're really, really, really good and they should promote you.'" And it was, you know, the psychopathic murderer.

If I'm about feeling everybody, if you're human, you want to feel respected. If you're human, you want to feel heard. And if you're human, that's going to trigger neurochemical changes in you that you cannot fight off. Now, they might not feel guilt, but they still love to be respected. And that respect gives you influence. That lasts past any transaction, even with sociopaths. How does someone in a business context take that into their world? It's just laying it out, silence, and then just looking for them on their own accord to say "that's right" versus "you're right."

If you get a "that's right," you are hitting a target. So that's the trigger. That's the trigger to know that you're in a good spot. They feel appreciated, respected, and you'll be able to move forward. Yep. Yep. "That's right" is always a good sign. Now, sometimes you need some more. That's why silence is necessary. You know, you're going to listen with your eyes after somebody says, "That's right." You're going to pay attention to how they react. You're going to give them a chance to add to it. Those golden moments of silence. Make them work in your favor. You know, you don't want to interrupt. Let them throw something out on the table. At a bare minimum, they're going to respect the fact that you shut up and waited for them to respond. More triggering of the oxytocin, the neurochemicals that give you the upper hand.

On the contrary, if you're hearing "you're right" as opposed to "that's right," is that a signal that they feel like you're talking to them, not with them? Yeah. They feel being talked at. Like even if they completely agree, to say "you're right" is to maintain an internal defense mechanism where it's still your solution, it's your answer, it's your approach. They haven't adopted it. Even if it's true, there's something about it they don't like. And when somebody says "you're right," they are not all-in. There's still a problem. You're not going to get full compliance. You're not going to get full agreement ever out of "you're right." There's always going to be problems. "That's right" is what clears the decks. That simple change in one word.

Love that. What makes you ask? That's the next one I want to touch on. Take me to that security clearance story. And what did that insurance company actually want to know? I don't know because I didn't ask. They asked me what for a possible contract with an insurance company for KN&R Insurance. They're thinking about getting into the business. I'm there as a subject matter expert. And they say at the time, "Have you maintained your security clearance?" Now, I'm dumb enough to answer the question without finding out why they asked. And I'm like, "No." And then we moved on and passed it. I thought my answer to them was going to be so shocking they'd be curious. Like, if you leave the government, in my mind, I can find out any classified information I need to at any given point in time. All I got to do is find a reporter that's reporting on it accurately. They're being leaked information. All I got to have is a list of reporters. I was in Washington D.C. for a long time and I used to refer to D.C. as leak city. Every politician, every aide out there wants to be important. They're leaking everything to reporters. So, why do I need a security clearance to find out classified information when all I could do is ask a reporter? Now, if I got a security clearance and I pass it on, I've now committed a felony. But if I don't have a clearance, I have no obligation to hold on to it. So, if I'm doing KN&R insurance for a private company, they don't want me finding out stuff I can't tell them. If I get information on the kidnapping, and the kidnapping is a terrorist organization, they want me to be able to tell them what I know. If I got a clearance, I can't tell them. They never gave me the chance to give that explanation, you know. I thought my answer was brilliant. I thought it was so shocking. They were going to ask, "Why? Really? Well, why? What's behind that?" Like, none at all. Moved on. We didn't get the contract. To this day, I still don't know what made them ask.

So, the design of that question, there's even a book out there from a long time ago. "The question behind the question is the most important issue." Why are they asking? You can't find out if you ask "why." But you can find out if you say, "What makes you ask?" Because then they feel like they're not responsible. They're clear of any accusation. The word "why" creates accusations that they've done something. "Why'd you do that?" Well, I must have done something wrong. "Why did you ask?" Well, I must be asking something wrong. You don't want the problem that the word "why" triggers. So, you just switch your "why" to a "what." Find out what's behind the question.

Doesn't it seem, I'm thinking more so like in a business context, doesn't it seem like a bit deflective? If someone, you know, if you're going to go raise money and someone's like, "You know, what's your burn rate? What's your EBITDA?" And you go, "What makes you ask?" Like, what other elements do you need to take into account to make it actually land correctly?

Yeah. Well, that's again, the eye of the beholder. And it's so most people are afraid that it's going to feel deflective because you haven't done it before and you're not used to doing that. So many of these things, by the way, for everybody out there listening and watching, it is very weird for a lot of these things to do first. You have to do it a lot of times before you feel comfortable.

Get you comfortable. Yeah. Yeah. At the bare minimum of four times trying anything, you begin to get the information as to whether or not it works. Now, at about 64, it's a habit. So, you got to do the four. That's why I said earlier, you know, I say it's not a bad time to talk four times today because you need the data because your amygdala is telling you it's disrespectful. And at 64 tries, it rolls off your tongue easily. It has become an actual habit. So, again, you're going to feel uncomfortable the first couple times. Now, it's not deflective. I've never had anybody push back on me, but I've always been prepared because I want to make sure I want to ask. I want to know what you're really asking. I'm being respectful and attentive, and I want to make sure I give you the best answer I possibly can.

So, ultimately, that is kind of it's kind of an in-between line. You're ultimately going to answer the question, but it's a touch point to again get more information, disarm a bit more, and just level the playing field a bit more, per se.

And to feel very respectful. Like the word "what" is a differential question, and there's great power in difference. I want the power the difference gives me. So I can say "What makes you ask?" flippantly, or I can say "What makes you ask?" like I'm genuinely interested. And the tone of voice is going to change how it lands.

We're going to get into those tone of voices, by the way, too. It's completely different, just the delivery. It's insane how you just did those two. Completely different.

What are some of those differential words? You mentioned how and what.

The how, how and what are the principal differential questions. Everybody loves to be asked what to do or how to do it. Like everybody. It's so powerful that even the manipulative types, you know, you could tell somebody what to do and they'll turn around and say, "Well, what do you want me to do?" And it'll catch you so off guard, you'll answer it again. Like it's that powerful. And the how and what, there's each has its own design. And each is designed to trigger thinking, mostly, but not really get an answer. So, "what" is about problems. "What keeps you up at night?" "What's the biggest challenge you face?" "What's getting in the way of getting this done?" "What" is a word that's principally designed to uncover problems, uncover something. "What makes you ask?" I want to uncover your reason for asking. Principally to uncover things. "How" is principally to create implementation. "How do you want to proceed?" "How am I supposed to do that?" "How are we going to get around this?" "How" is mostly about implementation. So you uncover problems with "what" and you overcome problems with "how," the implementation. Those are the main designs of those words. Now, they both feel differential because people love to give advice. So, basically, if you're asking "how" or "what," you're looking for advice. Makes people super happy. People give advice all day long, even unsolicited advice. It feels so good. So it lands really well with the other side. So I want you to feel difference. I want you to think about something in depth, and I want you to think about it in a particular way. And how I want you to think about it is either going to be my choice of "what" or "how." This all goes back to the power of listening versus talking, and you're basically just putting it on the other person to talk and give you more information to then be able to process more articulately on your side.

Right. Exactly.

What about on the flip side? Those are, let's just call them the good words. What are the bad words? What do people not want to see? What are those triggers? Is "why" one of those triggers?

Yeah. Generally speaking, "why" is almost always bad. And you may genuinely want to know why. But the problem is, everybody out there, when you think somebody's done something wrong, you ask them "why." You got somebody who works for you and they made a mistake. You say, "Why'd you do that?" You got it's what we ask people when we think they made a mistake. And we do that so much. Everybody does it so much. It is a universal triggering word across all cultures. And I first learned this in hostage negotiation. We'd inadvertently ask a bad guy "why" they're doing something. They would go through the roof. It didn't matter if we were in Egypt, or we were in the Philippines, or we were in Colombia. It triggered bad guys worldwide. And finally, I'm like, "Oh, the word 'why' pisses people off around the world." Because as human beings, when you're little and you make a mistake, the nearest adult to you says, "Why did you do that?" And so from a very young age, from as long as you can remember, whatever language you speak, when somebody asks you "why," they think you screwed up. And so that's what causes it to be such a triggering word, even when you want to know. And I think I probably first became aware of the difference. John Douglas was one of the FBI's original sort of mind hunters. And I'm reading an article that in USA Today, and they'd be sitting down with a serial killer. And instead of saying, you know, "Why did you commit this murder?" whatever it was, if they switched to "what" and say, "What made you commit the murder?" they get an answer. And so this "why." Okay, so you're talking to serial killers. The word "why," avoiding it opens them up. I'm in hostage negotiation. The word "why," avoiding it to "what" opens them up. Like, I wonder if this is a human nature response as opposed to just a bad guy response. As it turns out, it's a human nature response.

Your next one is actually one of the examples that you gave is a it's a better use of words. You say, "It seems like you have a good reason for asking that" as opposed to a "why." You would use something like that or "What makes you ask?"

Of those two, when do you use which? "What makes you ask?" versus "It seems like you have a good reason for asking that."

The structure of "it seems like" is a label. It seems like it looks like it sounds like. The more tired somebody is, and decision fatigue kicks in with every human being after about 1:00 in the afternoon, the harder it is for them to answer a "what" or "how" because it triggers in-depth thinking. It's exhausting. I will use "what" and "how" to intentionally exhaust you sometimes. But if I really need an answer and it's after 1:00 in the afternoon, I'll switch to a label because it's less effort to answer.

You're leading them down the path of what the answer is.

Yeah, you're making them just hit you with it right away. And I found this on myself. I'm texting one of my colleagues one time when I was flying back from the UAE. What the point is, I'm heavily jet-lagged and we're connecting. I've been up for like 16 hours. And I sent him a text and he comes back to me, "It seems like you have a reason for asking." And I went, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. I had all five reasons. Just came right off the top of my head really fast. And I realized if he'd have said, "What makes you ask?" Send a text. It would have so exhausted me to try to sort it out, think through it, that I'd have just texted back to him like, "Look, just do it. Stop bothering me. Just do it." But he hit me with a label instead. But I was tired and I came up with all the relevant information really quickly.

Guys, if you're out there and you work for someone, no "what" or "how" questions after 1 p.m. New rule made up by Chris Voss. Must be used everywhere. I like that. That's a good rule.

I'm telling you. Yeah, absolutely. That's a good rule. I want to know with a lot of these, for me, I just have not executed some of these, but I feel like silence is something very, very common with these. Again, it seems like if someone has messed up at a job and they're the employee, and you say, "It seems like you have a good reason for asking that," again, do we just default to silence there again until they say something?

You got it. Yeah. You need to find out what's going on in the other side's mind. Silence works. There are three basic conflict types. Silence works with each one differently and it works with each one. The very analytical types, heavy on data, they love silence to think. Listening to Lex Friedman's podcast, and he's talking about how when someone's silent with him, he feels connection. He feels sharing. Silence creates a bond and intimacy. So about a third of the planet are analytical dudes like Lex. So you go silence with Lex. Lex is bonding with you. Shut up. Let the dude bond with you. Let them share the silence with you, the thoughtfulness of it, so that it works with them. The hope-oriented people, what we refer to as accommodators, I think they're the reason why the world says hope is not a strategy. They're very hope-oriented, low on details, high on hope. Silence gets them talking. They love to talk. They feel that they're connecting with you when they talk. So, silence gives them the opportunity to connect with you by talking. Lex is connecting with you by silence. The accommodators are connecting with you by talking to you. Again, it's a connection through a different means, but you're still shut up. Now, the assertive, assertive wants to be heard and respected. And letting them talk makes them feel respected and heard. You don't have to agree with an assertive. You just have to respect them, and they feel respected when you let them talk and then summarize back to them what they said. They feel enormously respected by that. Again, that requires you to be silent so they can feel heard. They can feel respected because you were listened to.

And if we zoom out, it does. It's not just for that one line. You should be looking at someone when you're talking to anyone. Understand and know which of those three they are and then obviously navigate accordingly based on the personality type. What about each one of those three types? It comes into play at an impasse. Not really necessarily. All three types want to talk. All three types want to feel heard. The analyst is going to talk to you. They just want to make sure you're listening because they're not going to bother wasting time talking to you if you're not going to listen. So, you're in pretty good shape by starting out with a listening approach to all three types. Now, where it breaks down is is going to be at an impasse. That's when an impasse is usually a result of a tight mismatch. Not disagreement, but failing to see what the other side is really after.

Of all of the ones that we went over, if you look at that list that I have over there in front of you, is there any of them that you've like quietly stopped using?

No. They're all undefeated. They're all evergreen.

I wouldn't say undefeated. I would say best chance of success. All of the success rates of all of those are higher than everything else. Now, I don't expect to be perfect. The analogy that I love is counting cards in a casino. If you're the best card counter in a casino, are you going to expect to win every hand? No. You just win so much, it doesn't matter when you lose. Every now and then, the cards don't fall your way, but you're ahead of the house because you have shifted the odds in your favor. So then it doesn't matter when you lose, when you win, you win more than anything else.

What about the most underrated? If someone had to pick one of those and they had to really, really, they're going to do it four times, they're going to get the 64 times. If they equip themselves with this in a very, very deep way, which one would you say it is? It sounds like "It seems like you have a good reason for asking that." That is, I mean, that feels just like almost useless. Like I, you know, I don't know. Very leery. And one of our clients said he picked a day where no matter what anybody said all day long, it wasn't trying to get anything done. He's just going to practice. "It sounds like you have a good reason for saying that" or "It sounds like you have a good reason for asking." "Sounds like you have a good reason for saying that." All day long. At the end of the day, said, "I had one of the most interesting days I have ever had." And he wasn't really using it. And we kept telling him it was super powerful. And he's like, "Okay, well, you know what? You think you think this is so powerful? I tell you what, I'm going to try just to prove one way or the other. That's all I'm going to say all day." And at the end of the day, it was like, this was a cool day. I got into some of the most interesting conversations I'd ever gotten into.

Because it unpacks. What about a line that wasn't in your book and/or on the list? Is there anything new that's a big line that you use?

I need you to wave a magic wand.

That's interesting. Yeah. I used it to get extraordinary results in finding a lost suitcase in the Vegas airport. A woman came from outside baggage claim and ransacked the airport looking for my suitcase. Like they never do that. And when I first walked into customer service, I was tired. And they, there are battered children in there. Like lost luggage, battered children. People come in and scream at them all day long and blame them.

That sounds like the worst job of all time.

Oh my god. You know that, you know your suitcase is lost, right? And you're jet-lagged and your stuff's in it and you're livid and you walk in there and these poor people behind the counter, they didn't lose your suitcase, but you're screaming at them. Number one, like they did lose it. And you're also screaming at them that if you scream at them, they'll have a magic wand and make your suitcase appear. And I'm, I walked in there and sometimes you just know what they're saying, and that's what empathy is like. And you absolutely know what you're saying. And a woman says, "How can I help you?" And I go like, "I need you to wave a magic wand." And she changed so much in a moment that she ends up going into the bowels of the airport and personally getting my suitcase. That is nothing close to that has ever happened. So I got people on my team. What happens if you're at the hotel at 11:00 in the morning? And they don't want to let anybody check in till 1:00 because people haven't gotten out of the rooms. You want your room. What are you expecting them to have? A magic wand.

And if they let you check in early, then now they're charging you check-in early fees.

And the traditional person is asking very like direct, like almost direct response type stuff. Yeah. Like, "Give me an upgrade. Let me get in early." No like strategy behind it. Yeah.

And this just probably just messes with their head immediately because you're playful. It's funny. Yeah. Yeah. And it opens. And it's what they're saying because like the person behind the counter at the hotel is thinking like, "You think I got a magic wand and I can wave it and the person that won't get out of your room will be out like you." So they're thinking that. So...

And then they're like, "But let me see what I can do." And then they find out because it's playful and they're like, "Oh, you know, okay, all right." Yeah. So that one. Oh, and I need you to wave a magic wand. The other one we're getting a lot of mileage out of is looking at somebody who could give you directions but is not there to give you directions. And so this is usually going to be a security guard in a casino, security guard in a hotel, security guard in a financial complex. It could be the guy stacking vegetables in a grocery store when you can't find the right vegetable. You walk up to these people and you go, "You look important." And they, and they straighten up. And they're delighted. And whatever they know what you're where what you're looking for is.

Because that's a lethal one, bro. That's a lethal one.

And it makes them so happy. Sometimes they'll walk you to where it is. Not just point it out. They'll walk you over there to show you how important they are.

I can't wait for this because I, I sometimes get a list from my wife of all these like random ingredients and stuff. I have no idea where they go. And I always ask random people. I'm going to try that one next at Whole Foods. "You look important."

That is that is a good one. Damn. That's just one that you just randomly made up like like these new ones that you figure out. It's just you just testing random stuff.

The "you look important" line. Because you can't test this in actual negotiations with terrorists, I would imagine. Yeah. Right. Exactly. Now, Jonathan Smith, two guys on my team just put out a book, "Fight Less, Win More." Jonathan Smith and Derek Gaunt. And Jonathan came up with it because he was walking into Battery Financial Center in New York. And if you've been in there, they got no signs to find anything. It's heavy-duty security. And if you don't know where you're going, you walk in the door. You shouldn't be there in the first place. That's why there's no signs to find anything. Security guards everywhere. Security guards are not there to give you direction. If you're going to ask for direction, again, you shouldn't be there at all. Now, Jonathan is in there to give a talk at JP Morgan and it's confusing. He can't find his way around. And he sees the security guard has a look on his face like, "I'm not here to answer your questions." So he walks up to the guy and goes, "You look important." Guy straightens up. "How can I help you?" Told him exactly where he needed to be. So is Jonathan Smith.

Love it. Shout out Jonathan Smith. So all of these lines that we talked about, they fall under this one philosophy that you briefly touched on, which is tactical empathy. I'd love to just dissect like what is that and like the importance of the word tactical within that word.

Right. It's, you know what it is? It's just applied emotional intelligence is what it really boils down to. Empathy by definition, under the Black Swan method, empathy is just articulating your comprehension, articulating your understanding. It is not agreement. It is not agreement. It is not sympathy. It is not compassion. If you divorce from those terms, you can exercise empathy with anybody because you're stating what you comprehend, how they see things. You can even say, "Before I disagree, here's how I think you see things." That's the real definition, the original definition of empathy. It's been twisted and turned a whole bunch of times over the years. "I got empathy for you." People use it in place of sympathy. It's not.

Can you give us, let's just get the contrast between sympathy and empathy. How are those different?

Sympathy could be, "I'm on a Palestinian side. I feel their pain. I've suffered loss, too." Empathy is, "Here's why the Palestinians feel the way that they feel. They're sitting in the Middle East minding their own business. World War II come along and dropped the Jews of the world on their head, took away their homeland, and it's been horrific and horrendous for them since." As an FBI agent, when I'm talking to an Islamic terrorist, I can say, "You believe that the American government has been anti-Islamic for the last 200 years?" Now, by definition in that statement, I didn't agree. I didn't say, "I feel it, too." I said, "You believe." And then I didn't add anything to it at all. But we have a First Amendment. I don't go, "But here's why you're wrong." No explanation. Say to the other side what they believe. You can even say, "Before I disagree, here's how I think you see things." That's the real definition.

That's the micro-no. Just setting the stage that you're going to say no.

Well, and it's not even that. It's just I'm not trying to pretend anything. I'm not trying to pretend I feel your pain. As a matter of fact, I'm telling you upfront that I don't agree. Before I disagree, here's how I think I think you see this. You think that you guys were sitting there in the Middle East minding your own business and as a result of World War II, which was Western Europe carving up the world how they thought they should have been carved up after the war, punishing the Germans. And then because of what the Germans did to the Jews, the United Kingdom, the United States, they started to carve out a part of the Middle East with no input from you whatsoever. Take your homes away and drop this Jewish homeland on your head. Before I disagree with you, this is how I think you see things. That's empathy. And you'll be shocked at the positive impact that has on the other side. They will at least not scream at you in support of their position. If you're ever going to get to a collaborative conversation, you got to show the other side that you understand where they're coming from, not that you agree. And that's really what empathy is. I can demonstrate. I can articulate my comprehension of your point of view without agreeing with it. And you're going to feel the thing that we talked about earlier, heard and respected. And then you're more likely to collaborate with me. You are never going to collaborate with me until you feel heard and respected. Now, it doesn't guarantee that you will, but I can guarantee why you won't. And I want to eliminate the stuff that guarantees failure.

I think it's safe to say that most people when they think of empathy, they think of like the word nice.

Yep. Isn't that like a Is that the right way to look at it or is that like a dangerous way to look at it?

I think it's the dangerous way to look at it. And really got turned on to this when I was with the bureau. Bob Manukin wrote a book called "Beyond Winning." And Bob was in charge of the Harvard Program on Negotiation. And in "Beyond Winning," he explicitly states that empathy is not about being nice. And when I read that Harvard thought that way about it, I'm like, "Oh, we're on the same sheet of music." And I ultimately end up collaborating with them on learning from them on a number of ways. I realize that I pick on them a lot. But they really help move a lot of my thinking forward by helping by saying, like, "We see it the same way. We don't think empathy is about being nice. We think empathy is about demonstrating understanding." And so I, and that's when I reached out to them and started to collaborate with them, learn from them, teach with them. You don't have to agree with everything anybody says. I don't agree with everything Harvard says. They're really smart people up there that I learned a lot from. Bob Manukin, Sheila, Doug Stone, brilliant people that taught me a lot.

What are like those clear signs to know if tactical empathy is actually landing? Like what should, if you're obviously employing it, like what are some signs?

Visually, the other person's going to soften up. Visually, they're going to change their tone. That's going to come in waves. They're going to go back and forth. There are some people that you will never get through to. We believe there's three kinds of deals. The deals you should make, the deals you shouldn't make, and the deals that you'll never make. About 7% of the people out there you are never going to get through to. Awesome. First of all, recognize that they're there. Secondly, recognize when it's time to move on. I've never thought that we can make a deal with every person out there. I thought my job is to figure out if a deal could be made. Should it be made? The ones that shouldn't be made are the ones that take a really, really long time. And people who are difficult all the time, they're expensive. There's enough people out there that are not expensive that I'm going to make those deals with. I'm going to walk away from the ones I shouldn't make either because they're just they're just too expensive to make.

So, body language, you're saying, is a big part?

Body language is going to be a real big part of it. You know, if they, if they're continually attacking me, there's if they're continually blaming me, if they're continually acting like they were my victim when they weren't, those are great signs that I'm never going to make the deal. "Well, you were, you know, you did this without any input for me and now I don't know what to do because of what you did." They both attacked me and claimed that they were a victim. Those are people that I'm probably never going to make the deal with. When they demonstrate that behavior, no matter what I say, then I'm like, "Okay, good. I can move on. I can stop wasting time with you." I'm not going to be mean about it, but I am moving on. So that should be one of the first things among this whole entire kind of umbrella of negotiating is as fast as possible try and figure out if they are the 7% of someone that you cannot do a deal with so you don't waste your time.

Yeah. And if you look for the signs, they're there. A friend of mine once said, you know, if you're looking for yellow flags, and pretty soon you find out those were red flags.

That's a good one.

So yeah, I mean, they're going to present themselves really early on. Somebody who's really only focused on one aspect of the deal is probably somebody you shouldn't make the deal with.

Great advice.

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Let's go into some like mechanical tools. Let's start with mirroring. What is it and why does almost nobody do it right?

Why does nobody do it right? Mirroring. Mirroring. Oh, I see what you did there. Mirroring. Mirroring feels awkward for the user.

I think this is the most awkward of all of them. Yeah. And also, there's another definition of mirroring where you're mirroring someone's body language in order to manipulate them. Mirroring is just a repetition of the last couple words or selected couple words that somebody says. I had a great conversation yesterday. I'm in a gym. A personal trainer walks up to me, a guy named Spencer. Fascinating dude, and he's making a lot of money as a personal trainer for people in Malibu, you know, and in expensive places. People trust him. He delivers a great product. He's a great trainer. And there's something about him they can't quite put their finger on. He loves to mirror. He says, "People tell me tons of stuff." He says, "I don't know why more people aren't doing it, but people feel really connected with me. They want to expand. They want to tell me more." The mirror tool is just a couple of words. When you learn tactical empathy, you're going to primarily label. "Seems like you have a reason for saying that" is a label. Or the mirror would be for saying that, repeating the three words. It's kind of like, are you left-handed or right-handed? Most people are right-handed. Most people are most comfortable with labels. I'm right-handed. I'm a label guy. Certain people love mirrors. Ray, one of the co-founders of Ebenup Law, is a mirror guy and will work his way through all conversations extremely quickly, just mirroring. He loves mirrors. Minimal amount of talking, maximum amount of return of information from the other side. Connects people's thoughts, makes them feel heard and want to expand. It's really, really powerful. I can mirror. I use it as a skill when I'm just so shocked by what the other person said, I can't think of anything else. So, I'll repeat what they just said. And it'll get me time to collect myself and also gather more information. Those that love mirrors, I find to be really interesting people.

What's some practical kind of ways that people can practice that? What's like a low-risk safe environment for people out there listening that they can do?

This? >> Grocery store people constantly, you know, I and I I got people that I'm training my sales team. I drag them out to the grocery store and we practice on grocery store people. And so a great thing to do on a grocery store person go through the checkout line with a cashier and then say to him, "We're in Albertson's." And I had my guy say, "What do you love about working in Albertson's?" She stops and talks to him and starts laying out all the benefits for working at Albertson's. Great medical benefits. Doesn't cost them nothing. Only got to work about 20 hours to qualify for the medical benefits. One of the best places for benefits anywhere. And and so he mirrors her a couple times. Just repeats back what she said. She talks to him for so long in line. She keeps looking back at me and she feels bad. But she's so engaged with this guy that asked this question that it's so triggered her, you know, what do you love about Albertson's that she and he's marrying her, she can't stop talking. Finally, she she says, you know, I'm I'm I'm I'm sorry. And I go, it's it's okay. That's okay. I love to hear a good conversation. I didn't want to say, "Well, I actually made him say that to you [laughter] cuz he needed >> passion for how much you are passionate about the store." >> But there's people all the time and you're gas station attendant. You know, pay free gas inside. Practice with that person. Number one, they're going to they're going to feel better. Number two, you get practice in a conversation. It's not costing you anything. It's it's free real world practice. >> What do people get wrong about this? What's the common mistakes? You know, it might be tone of voice. I think mirroring feels so awkward that the first couple times you do it, you're going to sound like a robot. And so, we talked about tone slightly earlier. Your tone of voice at all times should either be comprehension, which was a tone of voice that I just used, downward inflecting, it feels like you get it, or comprehension. That's curiosity. Comprehension or curiosity. Either one of those in your tone gets the other side to continue to talk because they feel you're engaged. Either you get it or you're really interested. Either way, they want to go on.

>> So, from a framer's perspective, either or of those, practice kind of those two lanes all day, every day, supermarket, gas station, those two lanes, and kind of see what it elicits. Pick a day. Pick an hour. You know, and and I my sales guy the other day, I said, "Come on, we're going on a field trip. We went to the grocery store. Here's what you're going to do. Here's what you're going to say. We're going to be in there for 20 minutes. Turn around. We'll come back." So, you get your practice in. It's all over the place.

>> You mentioned labeling, and I feel like it's one or the other. You're saying some people are mirrors, some people are are labeling. What What is labeling? Let's just break that down. It's just a label by definition is a verbal observation of an emotion or a dynamic that has you have seen or observed and it it seems like it sounds like it looks like seems like you're engaged. Seems like something just crossed your mind. Seems like you have a reason for saying that. Those are all labels. Those all draw people out. It's an observation. Body language. You seem angry. An emotion, a dynamic. Seem like you're in a hurry. Just an observation draws people out. Depending upon how you're wired, you could say it sounds like, you can say it looks like, you can say it feels like. Uh a guy that I just got in back in touch with recently who's worked for Google, Amazon, all the big players making literally hundred million dollar deals regularly. He likes to say it feels like because in the in any interaction that that's how he gets people and and it's a combination of everything he's seen, everything he's heard, everything he's emotionally felt in a negotiation. People feel really dialed into him on hundred million dollar deals. And as far as that goes, you're not making like a you're not attacking someone and saying that it is what it is. You're just making an observation there. That's like the key thing there. Yes. Is you're not making any hard claim.

>> Right. And and and it's tentative. So you can always say, look, you know, I could be okay, I'm wrong. I'm just telling you what I'm saying.

>> You can backtrack it very very easily. Yeah. You allow them to kind of navigate what's next there.

>> Because then it becomes your observation.

>> It's not an accusation, it's an observation and your observation is open to correction and people feel very engaged.

>> So ultimately you can use it to kind of sway the conversation where you want it to go, but if they don't like where it's going then you can backtrack.

>> Yeah. And and you want to be careful. You you don't want to take where you want to go has got to on some level be good for them. Otherwise that's manipulation. I am definitely going to try to influence you to certain locations, but I want you to be better better off emotionally and financially when we get there. I'm not I'm not here to exploit you and pick your pocket. Now, how we divide up the spoils is going to be open to interpretation, but I do want there to be spoils there for you.

>> Yeah. You go through this. I don't want you to think I'm being greedy. Plants of thought, but this is probably going to seem greedy, right?

>> Actually deactivates it.

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's that.

>> Which it's so crazy how like those little small words make a a huge difference. Where do people get this wrong here? People just either do it or don't do it and then it's what body language. Body language is another big thing here. Are there any other variables that really can sway whether or not this works?

>> Well, it's body language is a problem mostly if your body language if your words and your tone and your body language don't line up. You know, there's an old theory out there called 738 55. 7% of the message is words, 38% is tone of voice, 55 is body language. That equals 100 if you throw those three together. And people want to argue about are those the right numbers. It's not 7% words. It's 20% words. Like I don't care what the ratio is. The real issue is when they don't line up. When there's your your your words sound good, but your tone of voice sounds sarcastic. Well, it doesn't matter what the ratio is. Your words aren't lining up with your tone. Like you can say to somebody, "That was a good comment." Well, that was a good comment. The first one, they were out of line. The second one, they were in line. So, words, body language really isn't lining up with what you're seeing from the pro person in the moment.

>> Of those three, as far as those latter last two, I mean, all of those, you can learn all those things, right?

>> Yeah. You You mean learn them from the other side or learn them for yourself?

>> Learn them for yourself.

>> Learn it for yourself. If you're just genuinely engaged, you don't got to worry about your body language. If you that that's a great thing again is curiosity. Superpower. If I'm genuinely curious, my body language is going to be great. You're going to love everything about my body language if I'm genuinely curious. So, all I got to be is curious. I don't got to worry about my body language.

>> So, if you lead with that, it seems as though that just goes down the waterfall and everything will be fine. Yeah.

>> Makes sense. Last two pieces here before we get into quick strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and 750." You're coming back with 500. And you really hope that I agree at five cuz it's going to feel like a big victory. So I I better need I better want five. That's the way to get what I want. Like make it at the r end of the range that favors you cuz you want to declare victory and go home. You want to win. And if we're in bargaining, we're in we're kind of in win lose. So as soon as I feel like I made as soon as it feels like a win for you, we're done. You got it. You're not going to risk that win.

>> I'd avoid the range, guys. Last thing I want to touch on is just these three voices before we go into Quick Strike. I want to go into the last mechanical tool. This acriman bargaining.

>> Can you kind of walk us through that system?

>> Well, if you got if you need to bargain and generally speaking, it's the last move. It's like violence, not your first, you know, in a confrontation, a friend of mine, Tim Lin, uh, in a black belt hall of fame for probably multiple martial arts. And Tim is one of the friendliest guys you ever met. He says, "Violence is a last resort. It's not your first resort. It's your last resort. You got to be violent. You got to be violent, not your first move. Bargaining should be your last move, not your first move. Try to make a deal without bargaining. Now, if you got a bargain, sometimes you do. You pick a target price. You come in at 65% of your target. That's completely disconnected from everything else. It's your target price. It's not the market price. It's not what they asked.

>> Let's do some numbers for some people out there listening. Let's pick a price. Let's just say 10 million is your target price.

>> All right. Whatever 65% of that is or.5 million. That's where I'm going to start.

>> And so then.

>> First of all, I'm going to tell you I'm going to hit you with a heavy dose of empathy and an accusations audit. I'm going to say, you know, I would be lucky to make the deal with you. I'm lucky to be sitting here at the table with you at all. This is worth a lot. There's no question. It's very valuable and I could use it a lot. When I throw a number out, you're going to be really angry with me. I'm actually scared to tell you the number because I'm afraid of how angry you're going to get.

>> You're saying this verbally?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And so then you felt good about I was grateful that I was at the table. Now you've been warned that there's bad news coming. Now, you don't you don't know what I'm gonna say, but there's a pretty good chance if the let's say the price was 10 million and I tell you're gonna get angry, you're saying to yourself, is it is this fool gonna go for a million dollars? Like like how big a jerk is he? Is he is he going to go for less than a million?

>> This goes back to the contrast and the playfulness. Like, hit it really really hard. Don't half-ass this one. Like, really make him feel like you're going to come with a crazy number.

>> Yeah. And then and then then I almost say six $6.5 million. And your initial thought is going to be like, "Well, that's low, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. So, I've already I've already softened you up." Now, through the course of this conversation, between each and every offer, I'm going to hit you with empathy. I'm going to hit you with how much I love your product. I'm going to tell you how it's worth everything that you're asking. I'm going to I'm going to say everything in your head before you say it because that leaves you with nothing to say. And then my next move is going to be from 6.5 I would I would come up to 85%. So I probably go to 8.5. You're going to feel like it was a victory. Now also I can't bargain against myself. I will never counter offer until you've counter offered because I don't want to condition you that I'm going to bargain against myself. So come hell or high water, I'm not throwing out a my my next number till you've thrown out a number because we need to get a back and forth collaboration going. And I got to condition you that you got to soften up before I'll soften up. Now, now my next move is going to be half of what my last move just was. I'm going from 65 to 85, from 85 to 95, from 95 to 100 of my target. Each one of those increases was half the previous increase. There's a psychological conditioning. You're feeling things slow down. You're winning victories, but each victory is a little bit smaller. You feel like you're really squeezing me because you're getting a last drop of blood out of me and you're squeezing hard. And as they say, is the juice worth the squeeze? But the squeezes are harder every time and you're getting less juice every time. And so there's an emotional your victories are there, but they're not as big. You feel like you're really pushing me. And then the very last move I'm going to make is going to come up with an incredibly odd number. Like odd all, you know, if I if if I if my target was 10 million to begin with, I'm going to say, you know, 9 million 900, 6634.

>> Why? Because that to you feels like an extremely precise calculated number that I have got no shortage of criteria to back up. Like I've gone through extensive accounting. I've run my spreadsheets. I've done all the research. I've done all the data. And this is a hard solid number. And with the combination of all the empathy in between each raise, I've never bargained against myself. Every increase you got was harder fought than the last one was. Every increase was smaller. And then finally, this super calculated number to you feels like a huge victory that exhausted you. But ultimately, it's really about anchoring in that 65% of the worst case deal that you would take. And obviously, you want the best number.

>> It's not just a financial anchor, but part of it also was something we refer to as emotional anchoring. Like before I threw that number out, I did a whole bunch of stuff to you to expect something far worse. And so, it's a combination of the two.

>> Are you a range guy? So, you're against the ranges when we're talking. We if we if we get down to it, if like if if you've seen a lot of my stuff.

>> Yeah.

>> And you won't throw a number at all, you will throw me a range.

>> So, ideally, no number. But if you're forced and backed into a corner, you do a range. Do I throw one or do I try to get one out of you?

>> Let's talk about the listener right now. I don't want to give you a number. And you're saying that if I don't give a number, is the next best thing for me to give you a range? If if you're forcing me to give you a number, then obviously the next best thing is is a range.

>> Well, if I'm going to throw a range out, understand the psychological advantage of a range is, the other side is going to pick the number that most favors them and feel it's a victory. So, whatever the extreme in that wins for them, that's what they will pick. And there pretty good chance that they'll stick on it because it felt like they won because you threw a range.

>> So, if you give a range, you should probably expect that it's going to be the worst possible outcome within that range for you.

>> If if I'm selling a car for $750 and you say, "Well, what would you really take?" And I and I say, "Well, you know, in point of fact, I got to get somewhere between 500 and

first. That's wrong. Most communication emphasis is still on first impression, ignoring the last impression. First impression is the second most important impression. Still important. It's just not number one. The last impression is more important. [snorts] And a lot of people get so focused still on first impressions that they completely forget about the last impression. So, off the top of my head, that's that's what the misconceptions that most people have.

>> Love that last line. What's that number one tell you watch for in any negotiation? It could be verbal, it could be facial, physical, it could be anything.

>> Somebody answers me too quickly. They got a plan and they're not really listening to me. And so it could be manipulation, just could be stupidity. Either way, it just doesn't work out.

>> Well, he just looked me right in the [laughter] >> either way. I guess the serial killer face >> idiot. [laughter] Most overrated negotiation skill being articulate. That's not that's not a skill. That's that's just stupid. I'm sitting with a really experienced business person a couple years ago and he says, "Yeah, mo you know most negotiations break down over lack of communication." I said, "Is it a lack of articulation or a lack of listening?" He goes, "No, no, no. It's a lack of listening." Somebody thinks, you know, you great negotiators articulate. Not the case. No. The great negotiators are the listener.

>> Most underrated negotiation skill.

>> Listening. Comprehending, you know, really understanding the difference. And like when you were a kid, you had some teacher try to explain to you the difference between hearing and listening. Like you could have heard what somebody said and just didn't comprehend it. Like I I'll be talking to somebody and I could tell they're not listening. And I go, "You're not listening. I heard you." And they repeat back what you just said, having no idea whatsoever what it meant. So yeah, it's it's it comprehension and then the demonstration of it.

>> You've worked with a lot of these big companies. Obviously, we're talking a lot about negotiating. What's the one skill that you think is the most important in business today?

>> You know, it's probably just being genuine, which everybody is going to say they are genuine, but most people practice deception by omission out of fear. You know, they don't want to talk about what their limitations are. And the sooner that you get out of that, it deception by omission is really accepted globally. You know, always tell the truth or at least don't lie. What? That's people saying, "Well, you know, white lies." Or, "Yeah, I know I didn't tell you that important fact, but I didn't lie about it." You know, this this deception by omission is is one of the really big problems. And and the great business people don't do it because they realize they just set a time bomb that's going to explode on a relationship. And so, they won't deceive by omission. because it's ultimately just about gaining trust for collaboration to get those big gains.

>> Gaining trust and then you you need honest answers. The CFO of a major international company, a negotiation was relayed to me the other day where he said to his client who was an international company, what would stop us from getting this deal? Now, you really need the other side to answer that honestly because if he lays it all out and you can fix it, you got a deal. And so the other side's got to be really honest or if there's nothing there, the other side's got to be comfortable enough with you to tell you the truth about it. And that's, you know, that's about let's let's both level with each other here because if we can make it a great deal, let's do it now. If we can't, let's walk away now and then we maintain our relationship and we don't waste time.

>> It's a great piece of advice for everyone out there. That last one, last couple questions that we ask everybody. What is a brand or an entrepreneur that you want to give flowers to and why?

>> Any brand or entrepreneur, negotiator, anybody? Entrepreneurs. Well, there's a there's a long list. Most most of the entrepreneurs are women that I can think of off the top of my head. Constant Schwarz Marini is the co-founder of Smack Entertainment with Michael Straan and she also the one who negotiated Deion Sanders deal with the University of Colorado. Kana is a great person and she is a formidable she's a force of nature and she doesn't attack. She's built a great business with some interesting cats and I really think the world of constants. I think a lot of Cody Sanchez. Cody is like a no BS aggressive entrepreneurial let's get it done simultaneously very feminine female and the women that I have a tremendous amount of respect for and const constants is this way too they haven't lost any of their femininity but they are formidable on the other side of the table and so to show women globally that you could be a great entrepreneur or be extremely fat. You don't have to be one of the guys. With the world that we're in today, women are stopped getting are not advised to be one of the guys anymore because we got example after example after example of extremely feminine business and entrepreneurial success stories. And that's one of then those are the types off the top of my head that I have the most admiration for.

>> Love that. Favorite book or podcast and why?

>> Books. Two of Cotler's books, The Rise of Superman and Stealing Fire. Phenomenal books. Podcast. I listen to Lex. I listen to Rogan and I listen to Andrew and I like your podcast.

>> Hey, not a paid advertisement.

>> By the way, for those of you in doubt, everybody likes Freiedman >> and everybody knows Rogan.

>> What about a specific booker podcast on negotiate? Who's another negotiator that you deeply respect?

>> Wow. I listen to so much. I gather information from everywhere but negotiations. I mean, I think the the cutting edge the cutting edge of negotiations being created by my team. I listen to my guys. Jonathan Smith, I told you he came up. You look important. Jonathan and Derek's book, Derek G. Derek's the head of my coaching and training. I learn negotiation from the people on my team. I pick up, but there's supplemental information like I want to listen to Andrew Hubman's because it's neuroscience. Lex is interviewing really interesting people that like the gamers and the guys that have created great video games. These are these are people that are great examples of CEOs that are running operations that I admire. So, I listen to that. I I listen to Rogan because Rogan's got a way of playfully getting stuff out of people. Really long for interviews. you find out a lot about people. So after I listen to CEO of Nvidia on Lex, I wanted to listen to him on Rogue and see if I heard the same guy. And so I want to I want to hear people get interviewed in long form in several formats for me to make up my mind about what what I thought of what they said on one as compared to what they said on the other. So I'm pulling information from all over the place, not that much about negotiation because I think we're creating it.

>> I think there's a lot to be said about doing that in any space that you're in. Just taking ideas and concepts from other spaces to bring into yours. That's how you get new unique ideas.

>> Yep.

>> Had an amazing time. And where can everybody find you on the internet?

>> All right. So, blackswanltd.com is the website. That's the first place to go. Now, we got a bunch of resources, but that's that's the first place to start. We've got a our next Inerson training. We shifted our our one day professional dealmaker days to Vegas mostly for logistical convenience for us. I got more people living in Vegas. We can provide more support overall for a training day. We don't go to the strip or off the strip. It's not It ain't a Vegas strip experience to come to a training. We actually got a we got a a place in in a Marriott that's on a golf course. It's just absolutely beautiful. So, you find out about that going to the website. On larger terms, join the black sworn negotiation community. Get practice in regularly. That costs nothing. If you don't feel like you can make the financial investment right now, if you can't make the time investment, then you don't think you're worth it. If you're ambitious, which is fun, and you're innovative, you'll find some fun cool stuff to do with us on our website and in the negotiation community. A lot of free ways to start, guys. Make sure you guys start there. Amazing time, man. I appreciate you. What's up, guys? If you guys got this far in the episode, I would assume that you enjoyed it. If you got any value, it would mean the world if you hit the subscribe button, give it a like, post a [music] comment, tell a friend. We could keep going bigger, bigger guests, bigger locations, more value. See you in the next episode.