Bring Your Dark Feminine Energy to LIFE

My darling, I hello my beautiful girls. Welcome in. I am so happy to have you with me today and so excited for this video. We are talking about how to gain Aura points. If you have not been on TikTok recently and are thinking, "What are Aura points?" your aura represents your attractiveness, your respect, and your magnetism. So, there's a trend on TikTok going on right now talking about how to lose Aura points, how to gain Aura points, and it's pretty much coming down to how do you become that woman or that man that just oozes with this level of attractiveness and magnetism. So, I'm so excited to get into how to boost your Aura points. We have not made a video on dark feminine energy in so long. I miss talking about it. So, today's video is also going to get into how to combine that dark feminine energy with your Aura points. So, let's get into it.

Welcome all my girls who are joining for the first time. I'm so happy to have you. So, before we get into how to boost your Aura points, let's talk about dark feminine energy and the difference between true embodied dark feminine energy versus internet dark feminine energy. It's a term that's widely used all across TikTok, YouTube, and there's such a clear difference. Especially as a feminine energy coach, I can see it and I can see when it's not truly embodied. So, I want you to be embodied in it because that's how you're actually going to gain Aura points in the first place, and you cannot have a strong Aura without it. My girls who are natural light feminine energy girlies, like I was my whole life, this video is so especially for you. And I also want to say, if you're feeling, "Alexis, I feel like I'm the biggest people pleaser or pushover," or "I just don't feel truly embodied in my dark feminine energy," welcome in. This is also so for you, and you're going to walk away feeling, "I know my dark feminine energy. I know that I have a strong Aura now. Let's bring it to life."

So, the main difference in this empowered dark feminine energy versus the internet feminine energy is true dark feminine energy is this internal awakening of power combined with life force energy. This is the most beautiful combination that you can have. So, that internal awakening of power, that is when you realize you know who you are, you love who you are, and you respect who you are to the core as a woman. Well, when you take that energy and you combine it with your life force, which is your charge as a woman, it's your inner turn-on, it's your sensual energy. When you combine the two together, that's when your dark feminine energy is activated. That is true embodied dark feminine energy. It's not, uh, bad. It's not manipulative. It's not scary. Yes, it's called dark, but to me, it truly just means when all of the inauthenticity, all of the people-pleasing, and parts of you that aren't really you, it's when they're turned off. So, think about your body having this light bulb. All those parts that aren't really you get turned off, and then it's just dark. That is your dark feminine energy. It's actually the rawest part of you. Usually, it can be referred to as the shadow side because it's the side that we hide and often is not really encouraged.

And now, if we go into the internet dark feminine energy, you might often see this referred to as how to be a femme fatale, how to be your dark feminine. And what I often see is, "You want to play games. You want to be cold. You want to manipulate." Well, this is not true dark feminine energy because it's an act. It's a performance with exterior enhancements. What I mean by this is, first of all, it's an act. It's not genuinely who you are. This video is going to actually get to the core of who you are to change how your mind works, to change your internal beliefs, and truly activate the dark feminine. So, the internet dark feminine energy, fatal energy says things like, "Wait 10 hours to respond to him," or "Make sure that your makeup looks like the siren." It's different parts of a performance, and it comes with these exterior enhancements to try to put a mask and say you're in your dark feminine. If you do these things, well, it's not how feminine energy works. Your feminine energy is brought to life when you actually feel, when you are actually embodied in the beliefs of the femme fatale, in the beliefs of the divine feminine woman. So, there is a big difference. No, dark feminine energy is not bad. I know a lot of my girls who are religious will say, "Ah, Alexis, this isn't good." The internet dark feminine energy might not be good, but the true dark feminine energy, the power that God has placed in our bodies, that is powerful, and that's what we are going to talk about in this video.

Moving into point number one, how to boost those Aura points. So, number one is to play with human nature. So, what do I mean by this? Well, each of us has a way that we show up in the world that is regular to us. It's our programming. So, let's say that you are a woman who is naturally more in the light feminine, like I always was. Maybe your default is to show up smiling, super warm, super kind. Well, what I'm going to encourage you to do is to switch that with the opposite. You're going to start to play with your human nature. And on the flip side of this, my girls who often get told, "You have a resting bitch face," or "You're so cold, you're so mean." I want you to play with the opposite and embody more of that light feminine, the really playful light. Yes, it might feel a bit strange at first, but you're actually doing something that is boosting those Aura points, that's making you so magnetic. And what you are doing is playing with human nature and moving away from the rigidity, from the strictness of being one-dimensional. Why this makes you so attractive is because when you can show up with all these different sides of yourself, well, now what someone sees is the woman that's so comfortable in her skin that she can play different characters depending on her mood. And what this is actually doing is boosting your authenticity. This is the core of a dark feminine energy woman. She's so authentic, meaning she has seasons and she shows up depending on which season she is in. She doesn't try to change who she is. If she's not feeling well that day, she might not speak as much. She might be more reserved. And then the next day, she gives herself permission, if she's feeling good, to show up smiling and happy. Well, this range of how you show up is so attractive. We crave novelty in humans. We crave that newness. We crave that adventure, and it adds a bit of that true coquettish nature to you. So, a coquette is a woman, not just a woman, but it's someone who is a bit cheeky, kind of hot and cold. If you've ever studied Robert Greene's work on human nature, I'm sure you know what a coquette is. It is so attractive when you have that inner coquette turned on because what this does is it represents you as a woman who is so ocean-like, so fluid, that true feminine energy. And when you don't have just one side to you, it makes you so attractive because it's constantly a game, especially in relationships. It's constantly this chase that your partner has. He doesn't know what side he's going to get, and it makes him fight and chase for you so much more. So, you provide this variety in your human nature that's very, very playful and very, very attractive. Because most people are presenting one image, usually it's a mask with the shadow side hidden. And why we don't like this is because we're all craving to get outside of the real world. We are all craving, deep down, to be pulled into this fantasy world. So, when you show up, you're hot and cold, you are truly authentic to yourself, you're playing with your human nature, maybe you're more smiley, but now you're not smiling as much. What you are doing is showing, "I'm living in a fantasy. I'm giving myself permission to play different roles, play different characters, step outside the box that life, that my personality, that my programming has created, and be this woman who is so playful." When you are doing that, you are also pulling another man, another person, into your fantasy world with you because they are tasting this feminine energy. Now they're getting a sense of how your inner glow is feeling, and it gives them permission to also be in their own fantasy world. This is what we want as humans. We always want the opposite. As adults, we want to be little kids again. We want to just play and be in that fantasy and not take life so serious. And then as kids, we always want to grow up and be an adult. Well, why this is so attractive as an adult is because you're pulling people back to feeling, "I can be a kid again. I can wake up and cry if I need. Throw a tantrum if I need. One day I'm smiley and bubbly for my family, and then the next, no, I'm screaming and I'm I'm a toddler throwing a tantrum." Well, this variety in you makes you so attractive and unique because most people are not doing this. Like I said earlier, it's just the mask that people are showing, and the shadow is hidden underneath. So, you want to kind of reveal that shadow in certain ways. I'm going to get into how to do that more in this video, but number one, know that playing with human nature, playing with your human nature, is going to increase your Aura points.

Okay, so some examples of this. My girls who are naturally in their light feminine energy, these are habits that I've noticed in myself that I played around with my human nature and toned it down. So, number one was nodding constantly. I would be that person in conversations, nodding, agreeing, smiling. Well, when I became conscious of this, I said, "Okay, I'm going to play around with my human nature that loves to be agreeable, and I'm going to decide, I am going to be more stoic. I'm not going to nod as much. Let's play with this in a conversation." It felt so awkward to do, but it added so much internal power to me because when I was sitting in that conversation and feeling, "Hmm, my head wants to go up and down right now. My head holds still. We could do this." And I was just sitting in my power and feeling, "This feels good to be this femme fatale right now." Well, that gave me so much confidence and it boosted my aura because now what was happening is somebody could feel that I wasn't trying to put on this mask, and that inside there was some play going on. And why that's so attractive is because we want to play ourselves. As human, life is really so simple. If you understand human nature, you will understand everything, especially at romantic relationships.

So, on the flip side of this, my girls who feel, "I'm more of a natural dark feminine girl." What I want you to do is practice smiling a bit more. Practice, uh, making your eyes a bit brighter, a bit wider. Yes, it might feel a bit unnatural, but we are not here to always be the same. Life is way too short. So, try it for a day. Try it in a conversation and let that playful energy come to life. It's not so much playing like playing games or, um, really light play. It's more, there's an inner playground happening in your body and in your mind. That's what's increasing your Aura points.

Okay, uh, what else did I want to say? Yes, I noticed this on dates for myself. When I started playing with this in the past, I would notice on dates, I would not nod, I would not agree as much. I would more just sit there and observe and listen and maybe do something such as, "Hmm," rather than, "Oh, yeah, yeah, that." I just got tired of it. And when I started playing around with the "Hmm," they started chasing more. And I was thinking, "What is going on?" Something so simple causes a man to lean in more, to chase more. And usually, if you're a light feminine girl and you start doing this, you're going to see men start talking a lot on your dates. They will talk so much because they feel a bit nervous that they're not getting that approval from you, so they start to seek it by, uh, I don't want to say showing off, but that is what men are actually doing. They're trying to peacock themselves and, um, show their accomplishments so that they can get your approval. I love the way that masculine energy works.

Okay, so, uh, yes, when you are unpredictable in your behavior and you give yourself permission to just show up how you're actually feeling, you have your mask off, you are being so authentic in the moment, and that is attractive. That will definitely increase your Aura points.

Okay, so number one, play with human nature. Number two, this is kind of a two-in-one. Hold on to your values and let go of unwanted energy. The second one I will explain because it has changed my life. This kind of relates to point number one. Hold on to your values. Do not, this is the number one thing that you can do that will decrease your Aura points. I, I always see those videos on TikTok where men might say, "Boys, how many Aura points did I lose from, uh, buying her 100 roses?" And I think, "What? Like, if only men knew that their true Aura points were when they were in that divine masculine and just pouring everything into that one woman, the world would be a different place." So, anyways, how you can lose your Aura points is by shapeshifting. What do I mean by this? I mean changing who you are depending on who is in front of you. There's a movie I'm thinking of, um, yes, I don't know why Monsters Inc. is coming to mind. I don't know if this is the right movie, but there was a movie where someone could, like, make themselves a chameleon and shapeshift depending on whoever was around. And I remember thinking, "Oh, that must be so exhausting." But how many of us are actually doing this? We might be, um, people who are more liberal when there's liberals around, more conservative when there's other conservatives around. We often change our values and our beliefs and our mindsets to try to make people happy. If you are doing this, you are decreasing your Aura points and you are exhausting yourself. Why not instead, you decide, "I decide. The only person I shapeshift for is myself." And in fact, I don't even need to shapeshift. I like who I am. I allow people to come to share their values, share their opinions. If ours are different, I let it go. I'm not here to control. And in fact, when I shapeshift, I am actually attracting people who are not aligned, and I'm going to have to get rid of later. Why not instead, I just show up as I am? Some people might not like me. Oh well. But I am attracting the people who are actually aligned to my authentic self, and that is so much better than attracting people who are not your true vibrational match. You're just going to have to get rid of them later. I actually think this is an addiction to stress that a lot of us have, and we will show up inauthentic because we want harder work in relationships later. I'm not here to be addicted to stress. I like when life is easy and it feels good. So, never change your values to make another person happy.

Okay, this goes for romantic and platonic relationships. So, I remember one time I was having dinner with a man, and he brought up a word that I was like, "Yep, this is done." The word was "gold digger." And he had talked about how he gets annoyed at gold diggers or he sees them a lot. And I remember a small part of me wanted to jump in there and say, "Oh, yeah, I'm sure that must be annoying." But I thought, "Hmm, that voice, that is not me. That is an old part of me that likes to get approval, to stay safe." Shush, this part of you. And instead, what I responded is, "Hmm, I actually don't believe that gold diggers exist." And I remember I was so scared saying it, but that's honestly how I feel. I don't believe that a woman can be a gold digger. It, to me, that doesn't even make sense. A woman wanting a man that can provide for her and her family, to me, that screams divine feminine energy, looking for a man who can be a good husband, be a good father, and give her kids the best life possible. Why would that ever be coined as a negative term? To me, that just doesn't make sense. I want the best life possible for every single one of you watching, and you absolutely should receive that. Now, I'm not saying that, um, money is everything and what a guy provides is everything about him. There are other important characteristics too. But for me, whenever a man refers to a woman as a gold digger, it's an ick because I know you are not a man in your true masculine energy. You want to be the feminine energy instead. We are not going to be a match. And so, I wasn't scared to say that to him in that moment because I felt, "This doesn't align with me. Why would I keep digging this hole further and enhancing this relationship, seeing if it even goes somewhere, when that doesn't align with my beliefs?" And it definitely does not align with my business. So, yeah, as you ladies know.

So, that was an example of one time that that happened. Um, another, there was another date that I was on once, and I remember seeing, it's like I could see this man lose Aura points in my eyes. What had happened is the date was wonderful. It was a 10 out of 10. And he was one of the only men that I have been on a first date with where I thought, "Oh my gosh, I could see myself marrying this man." It was such a crazy feeling. However, when the conversation of religion came up, one of my boundaries and one of my deal breakers is if we don't share the same faith, the relationship is done. I'm not even going to pursue a relationship. I have learned from past relationships that the number one thing that ultimately separates people in a relationship is a difference in values. And to me, my faith picks and determines my values. So, how am I going to match up with someone that has a complete different set of values from a complete different way of thinking? It's not going to work, and I'm not going to waste time. So, that is my standard that I have. And I remember when the conversation of religion came up between him and I, he ended up telling me that he was Muslim. Nothing wrong with that, but that's just not my belief. If I was Muslim, then we would have worked out. But when he told me that, I told him, "Look, I respect you as a man. I really have enjoyed our time, but this is not going to work for me. I do desire to be with a partner who shares my same faith." And at first, he goes, "Yeah, I, I really understand." And he goes, "I'm actually the same way." Then this is where the Aura points dropped. He goes, "Well, I'm actually open to maybe, uh, if I'm Muslim and you're Christian, like, we could just celebrate our holidays different, and I, I really do think that this could work out. I'm open to it." I remember thinking, "Oh, I don't know why, but that just dropped his attractiveness so low because he shapeshifted." He at first told me, "Yes, I agree with you. I will only be with a woman who is Muslim." But then he goes, "Hmm, actually, I'm open to maybe you can be Christian if I'm Muslim." Shapeshifters always lose their attractiveness and their Aura points. How, especially as women, my girls watching this, you have to be so aware of shapeshifters because what's going to happen when you marry this man and he is a father? What's going to happen when your family needs protection? Is he going to shapeshift to match what the villains want or what the people attacking your family wants? Like, you can't defend your family, be in your divine masculine energy, and be a shapeshifter. You cannot do it. So, that's why we usually get the ick when men shapeshift and change who they are just to try to please us. And it also works vice versa because men need a woman who is going to, who they know is going to stay true to herself. That's the only way that they are going to feel safe and confident reproducing with her. Even if they don't want kids, this is always happening at an unconscious level. We are thinking, "Who's going to be the best partner to mate with and to create a strong family unit?" You cannot have a strong family unit when one of the partners is a shapeshifter.

So, moving on from this point, shapeshifters are unattractive because our subconscious can smell the inauthenticity. And I forget where I was talking about this. It was either my Divine and Aligned Business program or the Gold Vault, my money program. I was telling the girls, I was saying, "Ladies, give me a guess. What, what do you think the number one highest vibrational frequency is? What characteristic boosts this frequency?" And they were saying, "Gratitude," they were saying, "Wonderful answers, gratitude, love, uh, just feeling super, super abundant." The number one highest frequency characteristic is authenticity. It was gratitude. Now, it has just been discovered. It's authenticity. So, we love high vibrational beings. It is why there's certain people that maybe you listen to their podcast or their YouTube channel, and you finish the video, and you go, "I just felt so good watching that." It's because they have a high vibrational frequency. The atoms and the cells of their body are moving at a very, very quick pace. We love that because it fills us with energy. It's magnetic and it brings us up. We all want to feel better. We want to feel highly charged. We want to feel magnetic, juicy, ramped up with energy. Think about it. We're always trying to eat more, drink energy drinks, coffee to feel more energy. Well, people who hold high amounts of energy in their body naturally because they have a high vibration, we are so attracted to them. We want that for ourselves. I have plenty of videos on how to boost your attractiveness, how to refresh and detox your feminine energy. Those are the videos that will help you increase and boost your vibration. I'll put one of them in the description. But back to this point, the reason why we don't like the shapeshifters is because our subconscious can smell their inauthenticity. And if 100% authenticity is at the top scale of frequencies and vibrations, what do you think inauthenticity is at the bottom? We run from things that are a low vibration unless we actually carry that vibration with us or we want to create a negative outcome because we are again addicted to that stress. So, I'm pretty sure you watching this, you are not addicted to stress. You want the high vibrational frequency. You are going to be attracted to people who are radiating with their true power and they are so okay with just being themselves.

Okay, so this, okay, the next part of this point. Never hold the unwanted emotions. This could actually be a whole new point in itself. Never hold the unwanted emotions. The top two emotions that I never want you to hold, number one, disrespect, and number two, awkwardness. We'll get into why in a bit. Disrespect, never hold it. This changed my life when I started playing around with dynamics with people when I first started my inner work journey, and I saw how this worked. So, for example, let's say that somebody disrespects you. Let's say that they tell you something. Okay, this actually happened to me. Let's say that, uh, somebody tells you something such as, "Oh, I can never vlog in public," hinting and trying to disrespect in a sneaky way. Well, when somebody disrespects you, ask them a question back or respond with silence. You are not available to hold the energy of the disrespect. As soon as someone shoots out an insult, if you ever had siblings, you know this feeling very well. You know when you and your siblings are fighting and they, you guys would insult each other. Well, when someone says an insult, it's like they're throwing you this tennis ball of energy, and now you're holding it, trying to think, "What's a good comeback? Let me insult them back." What I want you to do when someone throws you that tennis ball of disrespect, throw it right back to them and don't even catch it. You almost, it's like you have this guard, you have this bubble up, and the ball bounces off and hits them. Not hits them, but goes right back to them. So, what this is doing is allowing them to hold the disrespect that they have just thrown. You don't hold it. My girls who are naturally the light feminine, often if you are anxious or people-pleasing, growing up, you've probably held all the disrespect in your life. What I want you to do is start throwing it back to them by giving silence. That's probably a more difficult thing to do. Instead, what you can do is ask them a question back. "What do you mean by that?" Someone goes, "I can't believe that you chose that outfit for this event." "What do you mean by that?" What you are doing, you're not soaking in those low vibrational emotions from that charge. You're instead giving it back to them, and now they go, "Uh, let them feel the pain. Let them feel the insult. Let them feel the disrespect that they have just attempted to throw at you." It will increase your dark feminine energy Aura points massively.

So, another thing that this does, why I love it so, so, so much is it boosts your confidence. When you are confident in yourself, that screams, "I have a strong Aura. I have dark feminine energy." You don't have to respond at all. So, like I was saying, the harder thing to do is silence. What you are doing is bringing in this awkwardness actually to the conversation, and you are not allowing the disrespect to soak into your energetic field. When you give silence, it's like that tennis ball is kind of just floating in between you guys, and when you're silent, you just kind of stare. Now the disrespect gets sent directly back to them. So, do not respond. Do not hold the disrespect. Often, what will happen as a result of disrespect is that awkwardness, like I was talking about. So, this might happen a lot with family. I see this a lot with my clients and my students. People will disrespect them who are close to them, like family members, and it gets very, very awkward. There might be, um, a lot of silence that comes up. Do not fill the silence. That is you absorbing the awkwardness from the disrespect. Instead, let the silence scream and let them think of the next response because there is this, um, this waiting period that people who disrespect you, they have. As soon as the insult leaves their mouth, there's this waiting period. And if nothing fills that waiting period, it's like that energy just gets soaked right back into them, and now they have to sit and think, "Well, why did I even say that in the first place?" So, don't hold the energy of the disrespect. Don't hold the energy of the awkwardness. Give silence or create confusion by asking, "What do you mean?" and send it right back to them.

Okay, let's see. Yes, when there's the pause, it allows them to feel that the energy is weird. That's what you want. It's not weird for you. Let me make that very clear. It's not weird for you. It is weird for them. When there is no response, they have to actually soak it in and feel it. And also, not everything needs a response. In fact, the less that you respond, the better, because then you are not getting rid of your precious energy. It costs so much, much of your energy and your charge just to give a response.

Next one, never ever take things personally. And I know that you know this, but let's talk about it again because it's so important. Never ever take things personally. Remember that example that I had just shared with you where someone had asked or they had said, "Oh, I could never vlog in public." What my response was, I actually did give a response, and I'll tell you what in a second. What I responded was, "Hopefully, one day you'll be able to." It was not petty. It was very, very neutral energy because at the time, what I thought they were saying, the reason that I even thought they were saying this is because my internal belief is, I don't take things personally. When someone says something, it's always a reflection of them and their programming. So, what I thought they were saying is, "I'm too shy to vlog publicly," or "I just don't have the confidence to vlog in public. I, I care so much what people think about me." So, I responded, "Hopefully, one day you'll be able to." However, when someone pointed it out to me, they were like, "That was really savage." And I was thinking, "What? I was not even trying to." That's the beautiful thing about never taking things personally is automatically you embrace that dark feminine energy because your responses will be from a place of authenticity and confidence. And this is not about me. Like, it's actually about you. Your responses will reflect that, and you'll say something like, "Oh, hopefully, one day you'll be able to." Because if I took that personally, here's what my response would have been. It would have been, "Are you saying that vlogging in public is weird? Like, are you saying that I'm extra for doing that?" I don't take things personally. How I actually saw it was, they just don't have the ability to do it. Nothing wrong with that, but maybe they want to. That's genuinely what I thought. So, when you are so embodied and I don't take things personally, what people are asking is just a reflection of them. You become so magnetic and actually so savage. Like, you've probably given some responses that you don't even know. A lot of the times, people have pointed things out after, and I'm like, "Wow, my younger version that was so much of a pushover, such a people pleaser, so anxious and wanting everyone to like her, she would be so proud of the woman that I am today." That alone will increase your Aura points. The confidence that you get from protecting your inner child.

Okay, uh, let's see. Yes, you're naturally savage because it's not about you. Number four, I love this one. And then there's going to be one more after this. So, number four is, never explain yourself or your boundaries. Never, ever, ever do it. If I explain something to someone, I do it once. That is it. You don't get a response for me after that. So, an example of this, there was a guy that I had met, and long story short, when he asked me to go to dinner with him, I had asked, "I really respect your time and I would love to go to dinner. However, what is your faith with God? I'm curious." And he goes, "Wow, I'm, I really like that you ask that." And he goes, "I'm Muslim." And I said, "That is amazing. However, I do not date men outside of my faith. I wish you the best." He responded, he goes, "Okay, uh, can you explain why you don't date men outside of your faith?" And then I had responded, I said, "Well, I have learned from past relationships that when we do not share the same values, it does not work, and it, it's very, very difficult in the long run." So, I sent that message to him and again said, "Wish you the best." And then he had responded, he goes, "You didn't answer my question of why you don't date men outside of your faith. You didn't really explain it to me." And then he goes, "But I get it. And, um, you're going to find your dream husband one day." All this stuff. I was like, I was so tempted to respond and explain again, but then I thought, "Why am I explaining myself?" First of all, it is such a privilege, it's such a bonus to even respond and explain in the first place because I could have just said, "I don't date men outside of my faith. Have a good day." But because I already explained, this is what happens. As soon as you give more, this is why you can never give more to masculine energy. When you give an inch, some people will take a mile. When you give an inch of explaining to yourself, you will be asked to explain all parts of yourself all the time. Never do it. Cut it off at the first sign. So, I could have gone into, "Well, what I actually learned is when it comes down to decisions around this and intimacy is not the same when you don't share that same faith," all this stuff. I didn't. I just left it at that. Left him on red. This was still a bit hard for me because it, it was a bit of that old identity saying, "No, we can't leave people on red. You have to explain yourself." But I said, "Nope, no more. I'm not available to explain myself or my boundaries. I do not have to do it. I'm not here for it." So, same thing with you. Do not explain yourself ever. Do not explain yourself, especially when you are disrespected. It's very easy to go into, "Uh, well, this, and I meant this, and no, I'm actually not a bad person." You're trying to actually just justify to yourself that you're not a villain. When it's okay to be a villain in someone else's story, it is completely fine. Give yourself permission to be a villain in other people's stories. Give yourself a per, the permission to not have to explain yourself. One sentence. That is it. The less you speak when it comes to explaining yourself, the more power you have.

Another example of this, there was a time when I was in a taxi, and I remember the driver, he had, at the end of the ride, he goes, "Can we take a picture together?" I was like, "What is happening right now?" Um, I didn't want to. My body just, it felt like the ick. I was thinking, "No, I, I don't want him to have a picture of me on his phone. I don't even know why he's asking this." And he was like, "No, no, no, I'm just going to show my wife." And I was like, "That's even weirder." Uh, but what I had just responded is, "No, I don't take pictures with men." And that was it. And it felt so good. My inner child was like, "Yes, that was so powerful, Alexis." Because what the old version of me would have done, and she probably would have taken the picture, or she would have said, "Uh, no, like, I'll just explaining and rambling. I don't have to explain myself. No, I don't take pictures of men." Well, why don't you take pictures of men? "I don't take pictures with men." That is all that I have to say. I like to take pictures with the man that will be my husband, my brothers, and maybe men that I look up to, men that are in my family. That is it. I don't take pictures with random men. So, I didn't go into explaining all of that to him. That's just my boundary, and that is okay. You have to give yourself permission to allow your boundaries to be the final say. There's a lot of the times where we set the boundary, and then we feel, "Ah, all this empty space." That's again trying to fill the awkwardness and hold that awkwardness for the other person. You don't have to hold that. Let that go. You enjoy life, flow, let it be easy. Let them hold it instead. I also did not hold the energy when he asked for the picture, and I said no. I let him hold the energy of how awkward the rest of that conversation was.

So, these are things that will increase your Aura points. And how you'll know that your Aura points are increasing is because people around you will start to compliment your energy. This is my favorite compliment in the world is when people will say, "Your energy feels so grounded. Your energy feels so calm. I, I just feel so much self-respect." These are the compliments that I have started to receive more and more this past year, and I love it because all of these things I've been embodying and doing a lot of inner work to let go of the side that wants to show up for other people instead of herself. So, how you know your, your Aura points are increasing, people are complimenting your energy. It's such a beautiful thing.

Okay, before we move on to the next point, point, oh, another important thing to say. Assume that people know your explanation and they are choosing to ignore it. That will make you mad. That will make you angry and go, "Uh-uh, I am done explaining myself and showing up in the people-pleasing energy." Assume that they know. Assume. So, for example, I assumed that that man in the taxi knew I don't take pictures of strange men, and he was trying to push my boundaries. When people push my boundaries, I don't like that. That to me feels like poking at the little girl inside to try to get her. It's almost like, um, a predator offering a little kid at the park a piece of candy, saying, "Like, come on, you know you want it." No. I get angry at that and very protective. So, a way that you can very, very easily increase your dark feminine energy, your true dark feminine energy, get angry that somebody is trying to draw out your little girl inside to danger. Get angry at that because then the savage will come out. You'll forget that the people-pleasing their side even existed, and you'll just find that the responses, the no, the boundaries are set. So, sometimes getting angry can help. Feminine rage is such a beautiful thing. Oh, I get so sad in my courses and coaching when women say, "Well, what do I do if I'm angry?" or, "Um, if this happens in a relationship?" or "If this happens with my business?" I'm like, "Girl, your feminine rage is beautiful. Use it and let it out." Because when you try to hide your emotions, number one, people can feel that. It's the inauthentic energy and vibration. But also, your emotions are what charges your business, your finances, your relationships, your dark feminine energy. Every single one of my programs, we talk about using your emotions and actually pouring it into an outlet of something that will benefit you and bring so much abundance. So, use that anger to channel into your dark feminine energy. It is such, such a beautiful thing.

Um, another small example of this of how I stopped explaining myself for my boundaries. During COVID, when I was living with my family, I remember I would dress up and do my makeup. You know, during COVID, I feel a lot of women went through this where you're just so tired of wearing sweats all day and not taking care of yourself. And I decided, "I'm going to smell good every day. I am going to dress up. I'm going to put on makeup. I'm going to feel so good." This is actually how my, uh, L brand was created because I wanted sexy, comfy robes and pajamas for women to wear around the house. And I thought, "Why not just create this brand myself?" So, literally, that's how Sisterhood was birthed. That's what I mean when I say, "Take that energy and pour into something abundant for you." Well, when I was dressing up and feeling good and taking care of myself, my family, certain family members would go, "Why are you wearing makeup? We're in a quarantine." I was like, "Oh, people-pleasing." I wanted to go, "Well, I feel good." Nope. Sometimes I wouldn't say anything. I would just say, "Do you like it?" That was it. Because I'm not here to explain or, uh, create clarity for other people. They can figure it out on themselves. People are very, very smart. When I started seeing other people as smart and knowing the answers themselves, I stopped feeling the need to explain myself. And thank God I stopped explaining myself and just started doing what felt good because this community, the Global Girl Community, my business, the feminine glow, would have never been created because I started taking care of myself and feeling good during COVID. I took all of the embodiment and learning about feminine energy and inner work that I had done, and I started sharing it on TikTok, which led to YouTube, which led to my programs and the retreats and this whole community. So, what do you think is over here? Your blessing, your abundance, that you have stopped yourself from receiving because of the decision here to not show up authentic and to feel like you have to explain yourself? Can you imagine where it might lead you if you go, "Nope, this is what I decide to do. This feels good. This is my desire, and I choose to allow myself to show up this way"? So, that's number four. Never explain yourself or your boundaries.

Okay, number five, I love this one. And then there's going to be one more after this. So, number five is eye contact. You want to increase your Aura points, increase your eye contact. Why this is so attractive? Deep down, I always love the scientific level of things to actually make sense to my brain. Well, when we have someone in a conversation that is holding that eye contact, do you ever see those videos on TikTok where it's celebrity interviews? Look up Angelina Jolie interview. You will see that woman has good eye contact, and she screams dark feminine energy to me. It's just in her embodiment. Well, what is happening at a scientific level is when her eyes are able to look at someone else, stare into someone else's soul, it signals a calm nervous system. Why we like people who have a calm nervous system is the same reason we like people who have a high vibrational frequency. Our body wants it, and it signals good health, peace, and stability within. These people make the best partners, which is why they're more attractive to us. Even if it's on a platonic level, the women that we look up to as friends that are very attractive platonically to us, it's because we see them as a strong mate for a friend, a strong person to bond with, to keep in our life. Our brain is always trying to make us healthier and stronger, and when we surround ourselves with people who glow with health and strength, it gives our body permission and the ability to do the same. Those mirror neurons are starting to work by firing the same neural pathways that another person is having, and it creates us to be stronger. So, this is all happening at an unconscious level. We love people who have a calm, relaxed nervous system. You will also know if your Aura points are high because people will say to you, "Your energy is very calm. Your energy is very grounded." This has been the biggest shift for me this year is my energy has become very grounded. This is something that I feel so much in my core is grounded. It, even if I look at myself, how it was hosting the Hawaii retreat, how it was, uh, teaching in my courses, at the beginning of the year versus now, it's like night and day difference. My retreat planner was saying to me, she goes, "Alexis, the way that you've showed up for the Dubai and the Greece retreats, you are a different woman. You are so confident in who you are, and you can just tell that you're very, very passionate, and it just oozes out of you." And I'm so grateful for this compliment. It means everything to me because the inner work that I've had to do around this, it's been a lot of inner work. It's been a lot of playing these different roles and I doing things that are uncomfortable, like acting, uh, against my human nature in public when I want to smile but maybe I don't, or I want to nod and agree but I choose not to. There's so much inner work that I've been doing. Everything I share with you ladies here on YouTube and also in the courses, my girls who are in my courses, you can see it because they will tell me, they're like, "Alexis, the trainings are so savage, and they are so deep." In your recent courses, my recent courses are The Glow Print. It's live right now. My girls.

Who wants to be a coach? You want to run your own business? This is the course for you. It is so much fun and so powerful in there. The women in there are just so brilliant and the way that they are building their coaching businesses and becoming content creators. I could go on and on. I'm just so proud of them.

That course has been one that I've done recently. And also, the Gold Vault is my other recent course. That's my course on money and wealth and also quantum physics. How to close gaps in time, how to speed up time and jump ahead to your desires. How to see the energetics of money and wealth and abundance differently. So that program, my girls who want to expand your mind and be available to hold higher amounts of love, higher amounts of money, higher amounts of desires, the Gold is for you. And showing up in there, I feel so confident and different teaching because of this inner work. So all of this inner work, it affects other areas of your life. Dating, your business, uh, your relationships, literally everything.

So back to the eye contact. When we slow down our movements, an eye contact is slowing down the movements because it's kind of shutting out the outside noise. When you're looking from thing to thing, well, your mind is moving very quick. That's why when you are trying to slow down and actually concentrate, what people say is look at one object. Like look at a leaf on a branch, look at a spot on a wall because it's slowing down your mind. We love slowness because it feels a bit seductive. So this is why eye contact is so strong and so, so powerful. It's very seductive. Calm nervous system. We love slow down movement and seduction. It shows I'm not scared to look into your soul because I'm not afraid to look into my own. And we love those people. We want to feel so seen. That is our deepest desire, especially as women. We want to feel so seen and so held. And not just looked at, but we want our soul, we want the way that we show up, we want to be understood. We want these parts of ourselves to be seen, to be recognized. When you can do this for someone else, you are so magnetic and attractive. A man that you might not be physically attractive to, if he has good eye contact with you, there's almost this charge that happens where you go, wait a second, what's happening? There's something about him that I like. Well, think about you doing this for other people, and that will increase your aura points.

Okay, and also another tip here, just on the how I was saying I feel more grounded teaching in my courses. Something that I actually do is I plant my feet on the ground. This is more of a practical tip. How to ground yourself if you're someone who feels a bit awkward in conversations or awkward maybe in work meetings or on first dates. What I want you to do is plant your feet solid into the ground when you're speaking and when you're listening. You are becoming a tree. Trees are unmovable, most of the time. When you're rock solid like a tree and you're just so planted in the ground, well, now your roots are embedded so deep that they know who they are. The roots are solid, they're nourished. Same thing for you. When your feet are planted, it's like you're sending energy into the ground that I'm planted energetically. I know myself. I do not become a shape shifter and change myself. This is me. Nothing can knock me over. Nothing can make me sway and change who I am. This is me. I am solid in myself. I am confident in myself. When you are doing this, watch the way that you speak change. You will be so grounded and most importantly, you'll be relaxed in your energy because now your body is not like shaking and moving everywhere. You're very, very grounded. So that's a tip that I have for you. That's also why, um, my girls always see this at the retreats when I teach. I take off my shoes. The first couple of minutes, I might have like slippers or heels or something on, then I go barefoot. Same thing when I'm teaching my courses. I've told the girls in my business course, I'm like, ladies, quick tip, if you are a content creator or a coach, you can do this during your trainings and during your YouTube videos. Plant your feet in the ground. Barefoot. I would show you guys my toes, but let's not, let's not go there right now.

Um, okay, next part. This is the last tip for how to increase your aura points. Reward at a subconscious level. This one is powerful. I debated putting this in here because honestly, this is something I would probably put more in a course like Seductively Savage. That course is my dark feminine energy course. I love rewarding with my, my subconscious behavior. This is so fun to do. You can literally do this today. So I had said this in a video a while back that the best way that you can communicate is with your energy. It's not with words. It's not usually with your body moving frequently. It is with your energy. And it's also with micro-expressions. That is what we're going to talk about right now. So I reward certain behavior with micro-expressions. My girls who are dating right now, or even if you are in a relationship, I want you to play around with this. Specifically, the next time that you go out to dinner, you go on a date with a man. This works fabulous if it is a man that this is your first time dating. I want you to start to reward the behavior in him where he is providing for you, where he is protecting you, where he is serving you. These three things specifically. Reward it in the following way: making your eye contact stronger, leaning in a bit more, giving a smile, giving the energy of this feels so good.

So for example, what this might look like. I remember the first time I played around with this, I was like, oh my gosh, this is crazy. I didn't know that there was all of these, um, all of this power within the whole time. So I remember there was a date that I had went on when I first played with this, where, uh, the server had set down a bottle of water and I remember I didn't touch the water. I just kind of smiled and he picked up the water, poured it in my cup. The first small sign of him serving me, I gave a smile. And it was not just like, it was something like this. It's a sensual smile. And I also leaned in my body a bit more. What that was doing was a subconscious cue to show, I like this behavior. You reward the behavior that you like with your energy.

Another example. So after this had happened, I could sense a change in his energy. He's like, hmm, okay, she likes that. Well, this man, he didn't really strike me as a man that was, uh, super, super masculine, if you know what I mean. It, he was more in that beautiful, soft golden retriever energy. So I remember I had told him, we were looking at the menu, I said, yeah, I have an allergy to dairy and I don't, I don't need anything with red meat or pork. And so when the server had come, he had put a basket of bread on the table. I will never forget this moment. The guy put his hand over the bread, looked up at the server and said, does this bread have any dairy? I was so impressed. I was like, that was so sweet of you. But what I was doing was moving my body and my expressions in a way to reward that behavior. It was a smile like where I would hold the eye contact for three extra seconds or where I would just lean in and just bat my eyelashes. It was rewarding the behavior of him protecting me, protecting my dairy allergy, and saying, I like this behavior. Do it again. That is what your subconscious energy is screaming to him. When you do things like that, your eyelashes. And here's the thing, ladies, we all know how to do it. We all know how to flirt. Amp up the flirting. When you have behaviors that you like, and it, I usually will tell you, lean back. That's feminine energy, right? But what is actually happening is when you are leaning forward, you are signaling his subconscious mind, she's leaning forward, she feels safe with you and she likes whatever action you just did. We know when people lean away, like, you know when people lean away in conversations, it's because our subconscious is going, I'm not interested and I don't like this. So when you lean in, you are telling his subconscious, I like whatever you just did. And he does it more and more. By the end of that day, it was raining outside. I thought this man was going to carry me to my car in the rain. He was so in his masculine energy from those little cues. And he felt so good. He was like, when can I see you again? When can we go out again? Men love to feel good in your presence. That is the power of feminine energy is that we can do that to them. We can take our charge and fill them with it. This is true feminine energy, the ability to do that.

So, um, I want you to mirror them. But when you are mirroring them, slightly give less than what they are giving. So let's say, for example, um, and this is only for when he's doing things that you like. He's talking about good, uh, conversations, good topics, he's complimenting you. I want you to start mirroring his behavior. He takes a drink of water, you take a drink of water. Um, leans in a bit, you lean in a bit. But it's always going to be slightly less. Again, this is because of polarity. I don't want you to constantly, um, do exactly what he's doing. Like don't lean in as much, don't, uh, you know, just don't copy his actions exactly. Do it slightly because when you're leaning in towards him and he's leaning in towards you, well, when your actions are slightly less, now you're back and he's forward a bit. This is a masculine feminine energy dynamic because now he's leaning towards you and chasing you. What we don't want is for you to be chasing him. This is what it would look like. He's leaning back, you're chasing him. Usually, I talk about this in the Master Your Feminine Energy program. I was like, this is such a foundation of this course. We have to talk about the polarity because the number one thing, the number one question that I used to get, why doesn't he plan dates anymore? Why doesn't he text me as much? I feel like I'm always chasing him. You need to pull back your actions and how much you are doing for him. The only reason why he's not chasing you is because you are too far forward. When you lean back, and again, this dynamic will switch in relationships naturally, but most of the time when you're in the feminine, he's going to be chasing you and you're not going to be asking questions like, why is he ignoring me? Why is he not chasing me? He's not planning dates. He's not being romantic. He's not initiating intimacy. Check the polarity. How much are you leaning forward versus back?

So anyways, back to this topic. Um, your subconscious cues, rewarding his behavior, they are going to speak for you. They are things like adding heat to your gaze. So I know that it sounds, uh, a bit cheesy, but when you're on a date, like I said, with men, they love getting pulled into that fantasy world. So when you're adding heat to your gaze, what I mean by that is you're thinking of something sensual and powerful when you're staring at him. Eyes light up. You know, my girls in book club, we just started book club for the season. So my book club girls will love this. You know, in books, I cannot believe I'm going to say this. You know, in books when, um, someone, uh, when the author writes about the male character's eyes darkening, my book club girls will know. You know, when it says like, his eyes darkened and I could feel, never mind. That's the equivalent of you adding heat to your gaze. It's you thinking of something that literally lights your body up. It can be something romantic, something intimate. When you think of that, he's going to feel it. So these subconscious cues with your eyes, with your mouth, where you look at his mouth, you lean in a bit. This is what I mean when I say throw subconscious cues to reward his behavior.

Now, on the flip side of this, behavior that you don't want to award. Let's say that he makes a comment like, oh yeah, um, my ex was a gold digger. That's what I'm no, I'm just kidding. I'm not leaning that far back. Um, but you're going to lean your body back a bit and you're going to drop the eye contact and disengage. What this is doing is pulling your energy away. Your energy is a reward. Your energy is a privilege. When you pull your energy away, it signals to him without you even saying anything that did not resonate with me. I did not like that at all. Naturally, you do this. But sometimes if you feel like you are a bit of a people pleaser or too much in the light feminine, you won't do it. You will literally control your subconscious cues because you're wearing that mask. And the mask is heavy. It's holding your subconscious cues in place. And you'll go, hmm, okay, well, responding and holding the eye contact is a reward. So now he's going, hmm, she's still engaging with me. Maybe what I said, she actually likes. This is all happening on a deeper level. And I want you to get ahead of it by playing with the subconscious cues. Literally, you are creating the relationship dynamic that you desire from the way that you respond. You are so powerful as a woman. And I want you to play around with this aspect.

So wrapping up this point, when you show interest, it lets them know subconsciously, how I'm showing up is good. Let's do more of this. The hardest thing about relationships is that that very first interaction often creates the dynamic that the rest of the relationship has. This is why men treat women differently. They might not be ready for a relationship with one woman, but then be ready to marry another woman within three weeks. It's because she has taught him how she deserves to be treated. She's taught him how she will engage with him when he's showing up a certain way. So there's little things that you are doing in your body movements and in your energy that are creating the relationship dynamic that you will have. However, you can change this at any point. So we talk about this in Seductively Savage. How even if your relationship, if you feel it's been one way the whole relationship, maybe you feel you're more anxious and he's a bit more, um, avoidant, and you're always chasing him, you can switch that today.

I'm going to share something with you to end this video because maybe it will give my girls who are in relationships some hope. Um, if you feel that the dynamic is off and you value him more than he values you, I want you to work on your attachment style because that's most likely what it is. So here's the story. I had an, this is in a past relationship. I had a very anxious attachment style. I would always be calling, texting him, wondering where he's at, wondering what he's doing, who he's with. I was so anxious because my wounded feminine energy, deep down, had that fear of abandonment. Well, when I was doing this inner work years ago and I saw that I had this wound, I went, oh no, no, no, this does not feel good for me. And this is not how I want to show up the rest of my life. So I started healing that attachment style. I started working with that wound. This work is all in Master Your Feminine Energy. That program. I started healing that wound. I also have a video on anxious attachment style that I will put in the description for you. Anyways, this wound healed for me and I became very, very secure. It changed my life. But what happened? You will never guess. When I healed this wound of constantly feeling anxious, I was anxious and he was avoidant. We switched. He was anxious, constantly wondering what I was doing, who I was with, how I was, uh, like, what was going on in my day. And I was borderline secure and avoidant sometimes. It happens with inner work. And this honestly happened for me one extreme. When you recognize it, you sometimes swing to the other. After doing inner work, so if you're anxious, sometimes you can go to avoiding and not wanting anything to do with that person. Well, you want to be in the middle. You want to be balanced. You want to be in that secure attachment style. When I felt so secure in myself and my mindset became, well, you know what, whatever happens is going to happen with us. I let go of control of him. The truth always reveals itself. Anyways, I don't, I don't mind if we break up because, you know what, we weren't meant to be and I will meet the man that I was supposed to be with one day. When that became my mindset and I stopped controlling him, all of a sudden, when I was so far leaning towards him, it switched. I was leaned back so much because I was secure in myself that he was constantly chasing me. I remember thinking, oh my gosh, I need a break. I remember, like, in a kind way, I remember seeing my phone one day and I was like, okay, this is the fourth time he has called me today. This is too much. That will often happen as a result of your inner work. Things that you wanted so bad, like the old version of me wanted him to call four, 10 times a day, 15 times. Well, then I went, no, this is too much. I need some space and I need time for myself during the day. Like I want to read and explore my passions and I've got work to do. Well, when you heal that wound, you become so secure in yourself that automatically creates so much polarity. So I felt the need to say this because there are a lot of people who are in relationships right now and women are thinking, I love him more. Like I chase him more and I want to stop that. Take all these tips, increase your aura points, but also heal your attachment style. Become so secure. And I promise you, you will constantly be getting chased.

Before we wrap up the video, I have a few affirmations for you. Take these affirmations and run with them. Literally play these in the back of your mind constantly. So what they are: Number one, my presence is constantly relaxed and grounded. Constantly relaxed and grounded. These affirmations I have, uh, written in my journal every day. I kind of just come up with whatever I feel I need in the moment, and then they become an affirmation for me for life. So these are a few things that I have created. My presence is constantly relaxed and grounded. It is safe for me to show up as my authentic self. That's number two. Number three, love this one. I ooze confidence and magnetism. Number four, I respect myself and others respect me. Number five, I gain confidence the more I stay true to myself. And my girls, if someone will want to put these in the comments, feel free. I know Habba, my sweet girl, you always put the journal prompts and the affirmations in the comments for us. Glow girls, I love you so much. I love you ladies so, so much. By the way, ladies, on my Dubai summer vlog, thank you for all of your interior design tips. I had said my bedroom is just missing something. Can you please help me figure out what it is? All of my interior decorating girls and ladies, I love your comments. I have so much inspiration. So thank you. And my girls who want to be a coach, again, the Glow Print course is live. It is so fun and powerful when it's live. I can answer your questions and you can actually be there while the trainings are happening. That's every Saturday. And I cannot wait to see you in the next video. Thank you ladies for your time and your energy always. I love, love, love having you here. Have so much fun increasing your aura points and I can't wait to see you in the next video. Bye ladies. [Music]