23 Questions to Stop Feeling Lost in Life

Everyone is lost, just different degrees of lost. Fulfillment is the knowing that you are enough, and meaning is knowing you're doing the thing you were meant to do.

Wealthy people look at time as a resource that they can't get back, and they're always looking for ways to spend money to save time, not spend time to save money. You literally can bet on you. You can do what you want to do. You can decide to wake up and create a world, a future where what you do is your source of income, who you are is how you make money. Go all in. You might wake up in 18 months, 24 months, a completely new you.

The end of the day, we all end up in the same place. We move on from this physical experience. So why does it matter? Why does it matter? Why does it matter that you get up today? Here's what I believe.

Do you think it's like normal to feel lost in life? Yeah, I think I think everyone is lost, just different degrees of lost. So many ways. Maybe happiness is coming to terms that you have more questions than answers, and that's probably okay and normal.

Why do some people feel like, you know, I have no meaning? I hear this all the time. 18-year-old, 17-year-old kids are like, "Oh Dan, I don't really have, you know, meaning or purpose for my life." H. I think the people that have no meaning, it's because they think they're supposed to know how everything today is aligned to some greater magical future. Like that, you know, this little grain of sand builds this brick that builds this wall that builds this building that's eventually a temple, and it all works. Nobody in the history of success, accomplishment, athletic, ever can tell you that they ever had that alignment. What they had was the belief that making forward progress every day was the path to discover that, and knowing that there's a good chance they'll be wrong, and being wrong is okay.

If you're going to live for a hundred years, okay, or even 50 years, that's a long time. You've got 50 years to iterate and learn and test and play. They put way too much pressure on themselves to figure out their meaning, and then it paralyzes them, which is double. So then, then it compounds. I'm paralyzed, so I don't take action. Then I don't make progress, and then I beat myself up for not making progress, which not makes me not feel good. Then I go do the thing I know I can do to be successful. So I, I do simple, mediocre, right? Maybe go take a class I know how to do well at, or go take a job that I know how to do well at, and that's not the point of it all. The point is to figure out who you are and how can you share you with the world.

Where does meaning and purpose come from? Purpose, for me, comes next to the worst thing that's ever happened to you. See, I believe that you are given your gifts through your trials. Like the worst thing that ever happened to you, I don't wish that on anybody, but I know who you are today is a byproduct of that. And your giftedness, your skill, is because of what you went through. A lot of people blame their parents for the childhood and who they became, or, you know, the the challenges that they experience. But if you're happy with your life, you feel like, "Because of what I went through, I'm determined, and I have grit, and I'm, and I'm resourceful," and all these things. It's like, well, stop blaming your parents for all the bad stuff and start blaming them for all the good stuff. You can't blame them for one and not the other.

So first off, purpose comes from helping other people get through or avoid the worst thing that's ever happened to you. That's what I believe. If you're willing to look there, your gift sits right next to the worst things that have ever happened to you. That's purpose.

In regards to meaning, I believe that if you wake up to serve other people, that is a life of meaning. That feels fulfillment, not happiness. I don't like happiness, I like fulfillment. Fulfillment to me is a beingness. Happiness is a moment. Happiness is a cup of coffee. It could be money. It could be external possessions, achievements, recognition. Fulfillment is the knowledge and knowing that you are enough. And meaning is the byproduct of knowing you're doing the thing you were meant to do.

How can I build a life that I don't hate? First off, you've got to stop living a life for other people. There's no world where you will not hate yourself for making decisions based on what other people will be happy with you for, period, full stop. And here's why: when it gets hard, those people that you're doing whatever you're doing for, they're not going to show up and bail you out. They're not going to magically give you money. They're not going to come in and do the work with you to get yourself out of the issue. So you're making decisions based on other people that honestly, even the idea of what they think, you might have made up. It may not even be true. That's fascinating.

Then own the life that you have to live because you're worried about upsetting other people. The way you live a life that you don't grow to hate is to continuously ask yourself, "What lights me up? What is my happiness like? What are the things you do when you procrastinate?" I find that a great question. People like, "What should I do with my life?" I'm like, "What do you do when you want to not do anything productive?" Well, I like watching football. I like doing this. I like doing that. All I've learned is today, especially today with the internet, you can literally make a living doing anything.

People like, "I can't do anything." Yes. Do you like flipping rocks? Yeah, I love flipping rocks. Cool. You could go build a business flipping rocks. Really? Yep. Yep. You could probably figure out how to record TikTok videos of you exploding and flipping rocks and become sponsored by Caterpillar and never have to work another day in your life. Caterpillar will give you probably a brand deal worth $100,000 a year, and you can spend all your time trying to figure out how to flip rocks. Then that's too. That doesn't make sense. Yeah, it does. There's a kid that makes $25 million a year opening toys. A kid. Ry toys. A kid that gets makes $25 million a year doing something he would pay to do. Most most kids pay, or their parents pay, to buy toys for them to unbox them or open them up. He gets paid to do the thing that he would do for free, or that he would even pay to do. I mean, it literally is that simple. But most people aren't even going to decide to do that because they're worried, "What if it doesn't work?" Work? What if it does work? Then what? Yeah, you'll have a responsibility to show up every day.

See, it's easy to go to work for somebody else and have them tell you what to do because then you're not responsible for anything. Most people get up, go to work, and have somebody else tell them where to be, what time to do, and here's the meeting, and here's what I need you to do next because they don't want to be responsible for the future. How about being accountable to yourself, your dreams, and owning, "Hey, it may not work out, but at least I did it my way."

What if I'm scared about what my parents are going to think of me? Here's what I learned a long time ago. Unless your parents have a life that you admire and you want to replicate, asking your parents for advice is a flawed strategy. Because if you turn to them, especially for the big decisions, when I think about like, "What job should I take? What where should I go to school? What city should I live in?" If you turn to your parents for advice on that decision, don't be surprised if you get the exact same life they got because you turned to them for advice and you put their strategies and ideas as you put them up on a pedestal.

I like to go to a mentor, somebody that has achieved the thing I want to do. And the cool part is, in today's world, it doesn't even have to be a real mentor in person. It could be somebody online that you just admire, and you just look at their story, their biography, and just go like, "Oh, they at this age, at my age, they decided to do this instead of that, and that opened up this door." So you can actually study other people that could become virtual mentors to replicate their decisions to achieve a life that you admire, not turn to your parents.

So that's, I just think for a lot of people, and and I have two boys. I know that my job is not to be the person they turn to when they have big life decisions, but to create an environment where they have people that I admire and trust and respect to be available to them that they want to talk to, so that they get counsel. But if they're going to go create a life that I've never done before, I'm not the person to ask. I will be there. I will care for them. I will love them. But I also tell them all the time, "Do not do anything for me or your mom." Two nights ago, I put my kids to bed and I said, "Hey, I just got to share something with you guys." They're like, "What's that?" "I need you guys understand it's going to be hard, but please, please never do anything to try to make me happy or mom happy. You've got to make decisions for you because I'm not going to be there when you have to deal with the situation that you created by listening to me." Like, if it's the wrong decision for you, I don't know. You, you, you know the conversations you have inside your mind, buddy, like I don't. I will always love you, no matter what. That's 100%, whether you win or lose or whatever. I will always love you. So please make the decisions based on what you need, what you want to do, because that's a way to create a life that you don't grow to hate.

How can I find a mentor? Mentors are all around you. They're all around you. It's so cool. Most people spend all their time wishful thinking, messaging these super influential, famous people. They go, "If I could just talk to this person, my life would be better." And the funny part is, you're so different from that person. For many of these folks, their advice won't even make sense to you. So working all that time and energy to get on a phone call or get around them to ask them the pretty general, broad question, to then not be able to even ask a follow-up question to clarify anything, it's just a flawed strategy.

What I would recommend is find people in your city, specifically. And this is the trick: find people that sit on boards of nonprofits. Right? And you're like, "Well, that person's never built a 10 million follower on Instagram." Uh, no, but they own a $100 million construction company. They run a $50 million architectural company. They run a $60 million design company, or whatever it is. They literally in your city, there are the CEOs and founders of these mega companies, employ hundreds, if not thousands, of people that have shown to you. Just the fact they sit on a board of a nonprofit, that they care about their community. And I will tell you what they don't have: they don't have 1,200 messages like I do every day from young people asking to mentor them because they're busy and they don't put out content. But they're available to you. And reaching out to them and saying something very simple like, "John, I'm 18 years old. I have an aspiration to start a business. Do you have seven minutes for a quick phone call? Here's my cell number if that's easier. Or I would love to come to your office at any time. Just let me know. I'll drop what I'm doing to show up." 99% of the people receiving that email are going to reply and they're going to make time for you. They might even just click the phone number, give you a call. And I just think people make it out to be a lot harder, or they discount certain people because that person isn't famous, internet famous influencer. When I would argue those people are a better mentor for you. My first three mentors were people that were inside my state. These are entrepreneurs that had built companies similar than mine at the time. I didn't know their names. Somebody else recommended to them, and those people changed my life. They didn't have a program, they didn't have a seminar. They literally gave me time out of their lunch that turned into a two-hour meeting that turned into a lifelong friendship of people that I can lean on, and that built my confidence to go do bigger things.

What should I do for a mentor? Being a good mentee. That's the strategy. See, a lot of people have the chance to talk to a potential mentor, and they, they crash it. They do a lot of stupid things, man. They, they talk too much because they were like, "Well, I need this person to know I'm serious." So they just sit there for 90% of the conversation and just talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. The mentor is like, "This is silly. Like, I'm, what would you, are you pitching me right now? What's going on?" Right? They won't say that. They'll be kind, they'll smile, and then you'll never hear from them again.

Being a great mentee is being prepared. Like, if you send that email with your phone number, you better have five questions ready to go so that if they just happen to have a meeting canceling and want to call you, you're like, "Thank you so much for the time. I've got five questions prepared. This is my first question." That's what a great mentee does. They come prepared. They, they understand the person and what they've done. Their questions are very specific to their unique experience. And then the big kicker is, after the fact, they might wait three weeks, and they'll, they'll follow up and they'll say, "John, thanks again for that quick phone call. Meant the world to me. Based on your advice, I took this, this, and this away from it. I changed these things in my life, and this has been the impact on my life. Thank you so much. Really appreciated it." Guess what that person's going to do? They're going to reply and say, "Wow, that was really great. Hit me up any other time if I can be helpful." Now you've got a mentor.

As soon as somebody gives you advice and then tells you those words, "If there's anything else that comes up, let me know, I'd love to help you." Now have permission to start a relationship. And I would say this is my big thing: if you have a meaningful problem going on in your life, use that for your mentors. Like, some people have like massive problems going on, and they don't want to burden their mentor because it's like, "Well, I want to figure it out first and then go to them." No, don't waste a good crisis. You got something meaty for that person to dig into. That's my favorite thing. I don't like, I want people to come to me with hard stuff, not the easy stuff. So just next time you feel like you're struggling, not too often, use that as an opportunity for another seven-minute phone call and follow the same pattern. Based on our conversation, here's what I took away. This is why I changed. These are the results. Thank you again. And just do that three, four times a year, and that builds a really solid foundation for a mentor.

What if I'm surrounded by toxic people? One of the most powerful things you can do to shift your life is to change the conversations you allow yourself to have and be present to see. It's not even, "Well, I don't engage with that kind of stuff." If you're around it and you hear it, it affects your psychology, it affects your mood, it affects your energy. And if there's people in your life, specifically family members, that you would classify as toxic, you're allowed to create space. And you don't have to be rude about it. You don't have to be angry about it. You don't have to create a big scene. You can literally decide to not reply to text messages, or be slow to reply, not accept the invite for dinner, right? Or choose to say, "Hey, I'd love to come to dinner, but I've only got 90 minutes because I've got a meeting right after. Is that okay?" They go, "Okay." You go, have dinner, say hello, and then move on. You can decide to minimize the amount of exposure with said toxic people.

The key is to then use that new time to fill it up with people that support your dreams. See, I really think there's two types of people: people that support your dreams and people that take from your dreams. And you just know which one they are. If I called them right now and told them good news, would they be happy for me or would they criticize me? If they criticize you, you know what bucket they're in. If they would be happy for you, I have my friend. Some people are like, "Oh, well, I don't know any other entrepreneurs." And most people work normal jobs, and they don't understand how to be happy for me. Not true, my friend. My best friend, Marty, works in the government. He's worked there for 26 years. He is one of the first people I call when I interview Dana White. Go, go check out that uncut video interview Dana White. First person I called after is my buddy Marty. Okay? And I will tell you, that guy, I could feel his energy. Like he was jumping through the phone with excitement for me. And I just think those people exist. And you know, you can listen to your heart and just try to spend more time with them and spend less time with the people that take from you.

You've got to do a friend inventory. It's okay. You're allowed. Like, "But I don't want to hurt their feelings." Okay, are you responsible for their feelings? I, I didn't know. I didn't know you became the feeling police for everybody in in your family. Because I, I realize I'm only responsible for my feelings. I can't control anybody else. I can control the standard I hold myself to. I can control what I do with my time. I can control the conversation I have. But what I can't control is other people's feelings. So I would just get on board with that and create some space around the people that are taken away from the potential of you achieving your dreams. And guess what? If you truly love them, the most important thing you can ever do for another person, if you truly care about them, is to inspire them. And you will never inspire them from playing small. So you've got to create the space to go do something, to go play big, so that when they're ready, and they watched you, and they knew who you were, and now you're just, you're winning at such a level that doesn't make sense to them. If they're mature enough and they're ready, they will reach out. And in that moment, I trust me, it happens. It might take a decade. Okay? My brother, I think it took him six years, and they finally reached out and said, "Hey Dan, I need your help." Boom. It was the coolest moment in the world. I waited for six years for him to finally realize his situation wasn't where he wanted to be. I built success finally after two failed companies. My third one finally made me a millionaire, and he wanted to do a change in his career, and he reached out to me, and I was ready. Some of you guys want to help people, but you're not even ready to help them, and they're not even ready to get help themselves. And if you go and grab that person that's sinking, you're just going to bring down both ships. So sometimes we just got to disconnect from a sinking ship to go make sure we go on our journey so that if, whatever miraculous way, they find way back, you can help them.

How can I cut out toxic people from my life? The best way to cut out toxic people from your life is just create some space. It might require you move into a new city too. I'm not opposed to that. I've done it several times in my life. I think it's one of the coolest things. A lot of people that, you know, either go through a divorce or a breakup or whatever, and they're like, "I don't know what I want to do next." It's like, "Well, do you want to move and live in another city?" It's like, "Yeah, I really do." This is a perfect time. You know, I think reinvention is actually a beautiful consideration, especially in the back end of some massive pain. If you go through something really difficult, like I've had several friends go through divorces, and I'm like, "Look, I know it's hard, especially if there's kids involved, but right now, if you take all that energy and put it into reinventing yourself, clean up, do that for inventory, create some space with the toxic people, maybe consider moving to a new city, going and getting the degree, or starting that business, or whatever. Take all that that focus, that negative energy, go to the gym, get in the best shape of your life." You know, don't waste a good crisis. Use that. Go all in. You might wake up in 18 months, 24 months, a completely new you because you took that opportunity to reset.

So to me, it's just, I just don't reply. You know, the high school friend that just happened to be a friend of mine on Facebook because I sat next to them in a class when I was 15 years old. I don't have to reply to those messages. You can pretend like you don't get Messenger. You're, you're allowed to act as if the email went to spam or that you just didn't see it. Like, it's impossible for you to see every message. You might not, you say, "I don't know, I didn't see that. I'm sorry." Just don't look. Just ignore it. You're allowed to ignore. Like, there's no rule that says you must respond to every person that talks to you. You're allowed to say, "I'm on path, and I am going to put my heads down, and I'm not getting distracted." And, and if you're a people pleaser, that might be really tough for you because you don't want anybody not liking you. But again, you don't control their emotions. You control you.

How can I find positive people to add to my life? So what I've discovered is positive people are usually busy being busy. So you've got to go find where they're busy. So where are positive people? Well, they're at the meetups, the entrepreneurial meetups. They're at the fitness events, right? The CrossFit events, the triathlon events, the half marathons, the High Rock events, whatever it is. They're, they're doing physical events. The, the Tough Mudder, the Spartan. They're, they're there. They're, um, part of organizations, nonprofits, right? Positive people, they're playing organized sports, typically. Positive people, um, they're part of book clubs, right? They're part of accelerators, they're part of economic development. They're, they're active in their community, right? Tell you where they're not: they're not at the pub. They're not watching the football game on Sunday at the bar. Like they're, you know, like they're doing stuff. They're busy being busy.

So what you've got to do is you've got to get into those groups, say hello, ask them their name, remember their name, and then just keep showing up and asking good questions and being curious. And maybe read the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People." There are ways if you're shy, introverted, if you want to call yourself that, where you can learn how to act the way you should act if you're more extroverted and give yourself a chance to build some new relationships. But it's going to require you to, you know, act outside your comfort zone. Like, I get it, you're like, "I don't want to talk to people." It's like, "Well, how are you supposed to meet new people?" You're going to wait until they have enough courage or decide to come talk to you? No.

How would you approach someone to make a friend? The easiest way to approach somebody to make a friend is to ask their name. My kids were little, like three, four years old. We'd go to the park. They would run over and they would say, like, "Dada, Dada," that's what they call me. "Dada, they like, I made a friend." I'd say, "What's their name?" And they'd go, "I don't, I don't know." And I'd go, "Then you didn't make a friend yet. Go ask him his name." And they'd run over and ask her name, run back. "His name's Isaac." "Okay, you have a friend named Isaac now." Super cool. And I really think it starts with that. It's that simple. Just can you get used to asking people their name and then use their name in the follow-ups? And then ask them if there's anything about their life that you can help them with.

If you're a copywriter, a web designer, a marketer, you might not even have any skills, but your skill is you know people. And the key is to ask questions so that you can figure out what that person's up to that you might be able to offer solutions to their problems. So you might ask them like, "What, what do you got exciting the next six months going on in your in your business?" "Well, we got our big annual event." "It's like, oh, what's the event about?" "Well, it's about leadership." "Huh. Do you know my buddy G? G who? G Max?" "Well, well, I've heard of them." "Yeah, Gary is one of the top leadership speakers. Did you want me to connect you guys? Because I know he's looking for opportunities to do more." "Well, that would be amazing." "All right, let me do that." It only comes on the back end of you being curious.

And vice versa. Check this out. Most people are too humble to have other people find opportunities to help you. Think about that. Some of you are sitting next to a person on a plane, and you're successful, and because you don't want to come off as too braggadocious, you don't give the person enough to sink into. You don't even tell them that you run a 50-person company doing six, seven million a year, and that you are looking to expand internationally. You're just like, "I have a business." It's a little. You'll say it's a little business. That person might have a little business too, but it might only be five people, and they think they're a big business, and they think you have a smaller business than they do. So they have no way to offer to help you because you haven't given them enough.

So like, sometimes I'm talking to someone, I'll offer them, "Hey, do you know anybody on on this aspect? We're hiring a revenue leader right now, somebody has this kind of experience, or anybody that comes to mind, or maybe a recruiter I could reach out to?" Often times I'll use my challenges as a way to build rapport and relationships with people, and that's how you make a friend. So there's, there's professional friends, but to go to the friendship level, I would encourage you to invite them out to hike or to do something. You know, figure out if they're into pickleball, or they're into mountain biking, or snowboarding, whatever it is for you. Find out, "Hey, what do you do on the weekends? What are your hobbies? What do you, what do you enjoy doing?" You've got to choose the thing that you can do that you would want to do. But to me, that is, that's the difference between just having like a work acquaintance versus a friendship.

And the big one: if you're, this is next level, this is like super duper high level, invite them to your home. Break bread, share a meal. If you really want to have a friendship with somebody, I will tell you, when I moved to the new city I live in now, I've been here three years. The first week, I had four different people invite me into their home to have dinner with them. And that was a big motivation for why my wife and I decided to move here because we just fell in love with the hospitality, the people, the openness. So that might be a scary concept for you. Well, why would I invite people to my apartment? I'm telling you, they live in apartments too. And you inviting them to yours and cooking, or having somebody cook and hosting four or five other people, that's, that's the, the depth that most people don't play at. And it's why most people don't live a rich life. The relationships aren't deep. They keep everybody arms length. It's like surface. It's like, "I don't really want you to know who I really am. Definitely don't want you in my home." I'm just saying, I learned a long time ago, the freest person is the person with no secrets. If you want to have a lightness about you where people just feel like you're, you're just sure of yourself and confidence, like just put everything out on the table and just invite them. If you live in a little apartment, it's okay. Invite them to your little apartment. Show them why you love that place. Show them why you like that neighborhood. Invite a cool couple, other cool people that you might enjoy, and make an evening out of it. Have some fun. If you've never tried it, I guarantee on the other side of that is at least a lesson or lessons, right? You're either going to learn what worked and you'll do it better, or it's going to be a blessing and you'll realize you made some lifelong friends.

How do you create motivation? H. That's a great question. I am motivated by growth. There's two core values for most humans that I think drive them if they're really honest with themselves. One of them is growth. The other one is contribution. If you ask somebody what they would want to do with their life if they knew they only had 12 months to live, they would probably want to double down in spending time with people, people that they love and they admire. But they would want to pour into those people, right? You ever you ask a parent like, "Okay, you got 12 months to live. What do you want to do?" "Well, I want to travel the world with my kids." "What are you going to do with your kids?" "I'm going to do cool stuff with my kids. I'm going to teach them stuff. I'm going to show them stuff." They want to pour in. They want to contribute, right? People want to feel like they've had significance. The only way to contribute is to be on a growth journey. Think about it. You can't pour from an empty cup. If you are not trying to learn and develop new skills all the time, then you have nothing to offer other people. So that's what a lot of people are stuck. They're like, "I don't have a meaning. I don't have a purpose." It's like, you haven't developed yourself enough to be valuable to help somebody else, have your support, to provide, you know, value for your, for you to feel there was meaning in your work.

It's funny because a long time ago, I heard this crazy story about a guy, and it's the difference between interested and committed, right? He was saying, you know, a lot of people say they're committed to their goals and their dreams, but they're not. They're fairly, they're only interested. And the difference is, and he used this analogy, he said, "If, if you had a goal, let's say six months from now, to make $100,000 somehow, someway, and you knew." Okay, so there's like the person that wakes up and says, "I want $100,000 in six months." That person is interested in that result. They're motivated, but they're just, "I'd like it. It's a, like, it's not a must." The other person is told, "Hey, you know that person you love the most? If you don't make $100,000 the next six months, that person's life is at risk." And they truly believed it. All of a sudden, when you ask somebody, you know, the person that doesn't have anybody's life at risk, how, how probable is that outcome? They'll say, "I don't know. Probably like a six out of 10." The person that has the risk associated, it's a 10 out of 10. You know what I mean? Like, think about it. The person you love the most, if you knew that not achieving that would cause something bad to happen to them, it's a 10 out of 10.

What's the difference? Motivation. Most people are motivated by dark energy, meaning that they're trying to prove people wrong. It's a heavy energy, though. It's kind of like energy that's stored in the trunk of your car. It's the, it's the, the people that said you wouldn't win. It's the people that bet against you. It's the bully from school. It's the teacher that said you were dumb. It's the parent that said you'd never amount to anything. So that pain will propel you forward, but it's a dark energy, and it will motivate you. I've seen people build empires over the fact they wanted to prove Johnny from high school wrong, or Lisa, the girl that cheated on him for the high school, you know, valedictorian, or the football, the head of the football team, and they wanted to prove to Lisa she made the wrong. I've seen people build empires over that. That's motivation, right? Because they have a desire to show somebody that they made the wrong decision. However, the other motivation is the desire to contribute, the dire desire to give, to help other people. See, if you can get to a place where you're willing to sacrifice your own well-being to help more people than just yourself, that creates light energy. And light energy, instead of it being a push from the dark energy, right? Dark energy pushes you forward out of anger, pain, you know, fear. Honestly, the light energy pulls you forward. And it pulls you and inspires you. And what's crazy is the light energy is 10 times more potent than the dark energy. Dark energy is like diesel fuel. Light energy is like solar, unlimited, untapped sun power. It is bright, it is powerful, and it pulls you forward like a magnet, where you'll do more for other people when they need you to show up than you'd ever do for yourself to prove some other person wrong that may never even know that you did that because you haven't seen them in 15 years. Just saying. That's how you motivate. That's that's literally motivation, right?

How do you overcome lack of focus or ADHD? I have such severe ADHD that I've designed my whole life to deal with distractions. So, for example, a lot of things I do, I do not have notifications on my phone. Zero. Frustrates my wife. "How come you never answer your phone when I call? How come you never reply on my text message?" I can't have notifications on. I need to focus. And when I'm focused, I'm in it to win it. So that's right off the bat. When I work, I have to put headphones on with very specific music type with no lyrics in it. And it, even some of it, binaural beats. Like, it's the music's designed to help me focus. I have a timer. I have a digital timer on my laptop, and I have a physical timer on my desk. And I do a Pomodoro, 30 minutes. I do block time where I've prepped. I know what projects I need to move forward. I put those in my calendar and I attack that list. I do not allow people to bug me when I'm working. The gut a second meetings ain't going to happen. Queue up all the questions you want to ask me, and then schedule some time next few days, and we'll get to them. No sugar. I can't have sugar. My mind, I can literally see my mind wander off, and I'm like, "Ah," and I'm trying to like do some really deep creative work. I have to frontload all of my creative work in the morning when my mind is the sharpest. I have to go to the gym to exhaust my body to tame my mind to focus. Because of my ADHD, I got put on medication when I was 11 years old for ADHD, and for my whole life, I felt broken. And it turns out that I actually wasn't broken. I was very normal. I'm just different than most people. Not bad different. Freaking amazing different. I'm so happy that I am extraordinary so that I can live an extraordinary life. But I had to learn how to tame and focus my lack of attention. And it turns out that because of that, I can hyperfocus now, and I can accomplish and create from a place of connection with my Creator, source, that most people, when they see these ideas, they're like, "Where did you come up with that?" It's just because I create the environment for me to win. And I just had to own it. Like, I had to get good at making money so I can buy back my time so I can pay people to do the accounting. Because I'll tell you, I can't stand sitting there doing basic boring paperwork. I love looking at financial models. I hate creating them. Somebody else create them, and then let me play with the Cs and figure out strategically all the different parts. Show me how it works. But I don't want to sit there and create that stuff. I don't want to go and do bank reconciliation. I don't want to, you know, sit mundane and copy-paste stuff or move folders around or whatever. So I had to do it for myself where I knew I wouldn't be even a productive person in the world. I just have a positive coping mechanism for some of the trauma I went through. People that are on streets, they just have a negative coping mechanism for some of the trauma they went through. But we are very similar, and I've never, ever, ever forgotten that. So I have to work harder. I have to do things that for a lot of people would seem crazy. Like, I would never turn off notifications on my phone. I have to.

What's your biggest focus hack? I got to say, yeah, it's, it's music and a timer. Like, I can sit there with a laptop. I can be in the middle of the busiest intersection in the world, and if I have my music in my ears and I have a timer, and I know what I'm working on, I, you could, you could be going by, kicking, dancing, throwing knives, juggling, whatever. I don't. I'm just, I'm plugged in. I'm heads down. I'm focused on my work. And I love that. I get into flow. Really give myself the chance to think, be creative, singular focus. I've fallen in love with my work. I love, love, love to create. That's like my favorite place now. But I had to build that muscle.

Do you think social media is bad for kids these days? I don't think computers or laptops are bad. I don't think iPads are bad. I don't think phones are bad. I don't think video games are bad. I don't think. I think the problem is parents that use it for the wrong reasons and don't educate their kids on the mindset for how to actually look at it. There's nothing wrong with technology. There's something wrong with parents that use technology to avoid being parents. You should use technology to educate your kids. There's no future where them not knowing how to do certain things on a computer is a good thing for them, right? Some people are like, "My kids aren't on devices." Well, guess what? My kids are, and they're going to run circles around your kids because my kids are using in ChatGPT and Stable Diffusion and video editing, and they're doing very creative digital economy type stuff, while your kids aren't. They've never heard of CapCut, just saying. Like, the future of the knowledge workers is not non-digital. So don't handicap your kids by not giving them the tools. Just teach them, right? And teach them about their self-esteem.

See, a lot of parents don't even police what their kids are doing, and they're creating content already, and they're trying to get likes and comments and views to soothe their own sense of worth because they don't feel enough. To you, because of the way you talk to them, and that is not a byproduct of technology. That's a byproduct of you being a parent. So building your kids' self-esteem, telling them about their greatness, telling them about how amazing they are, supporting them the right way, not enabling them. I was at a tournament this weekend with my kids, a soccer tournament. There's a kid running, his shoelaces untied. The dad next to me goes, "Hey, number 11, your shoelace is untied." He looks at us, looks down at his shoelace, screens back, "I don't know how to tie my shoelace," and then runs off the field to his mom who ties a shoelace. You think she has a kid that has an iPad problem? There's other issues there. That's like, to me, devices is not the problem. How you use the device, the psychology of your children because of your example, and those two things come together. And just honestly, just think about like, "How do I prepare my kids for the future?" I want my kids to understand how to use AI and video editing. Those things 100% are going to be part of their work. They're going to stand above and beyond everybody else in the job market or in their business just because I didn't protect them from a device. I built their personal self-esteem and their self-worth so that they didn't need social media to replace that.

What do you hope to teach your kids about happiness? I hope my kids realize that happiness is a flawed strategy. You, a lot of people think, "Well, I got to be successful to be happy." The funny part is, you got to be happy to be successful. Think about it. If you had free time right now and you wanted to help somebody, you got two people. You got Mr. Grumpy Pants, you got Mr. Happy Face. Who are you going to help? You're going to help Mr. Happy Face. Mr. Happy Face sounds like fun. I want to talk to him. I got, I got a half hour to help somebody. People think that once they accomplish, then they will be. The key is to be, and then you will accomplish. So my whole philosophy with my kids is to show them that life is about being in a a beingness of fulfillment. Right? How do you do that? Well, you celebrate the progress, not the destination. As a simple, one simple concept. When I'm hiking with my kids, and we get stuck at a certain spot, I don't point to the mountaintop and say, "We're almost there." I say, "Look down to the car. Look how far it is. Do you see how much how far we've gone? Do you know how strong you've become just to get here?" And I celebrate the progress.

When a, when my kid comes to me and they're like, "Hey, look at this. I just finished this puzzle or whatever." I said, "Tell me about the times you wanted to give up. Tell me about all the moments where you're just like, couldn't find the peace. I want to hear about that. What did you do? What did you tell yourself in those moments? How did you find the peace? Because obviously, you must have had some struggles." I want to hear about that. You know, when they, there's so many. I just, I just pretty much do the opposite of what school does. Bad schools. Good schools do this. Oh, I don't, I don't care what my kids' grades are. I literally don't. And it turns out most schools don't even use grades anymore, which is fascinating. You know, achieving, not achieving, whatever the language they use. When they come to me and they're like, "Hey, I got my report card." I go, "Do you want me to see it?" Because I don't need to see it. I care that you're doing stuff that you feel good. Obviously, you're not behind. I learned a long time ago, there's two things I'm responsible. Well, two, there's more than that, but there's two big ones: reading and writing. If a kid can read and write by grade three, they are 90% going to be great. Most kids that don't do that because their parents don't read with them, that's the problem. So I'm, I'm more interested in showing my kids that life is about doing hard things, and that fulfillment comes from choosing to do something that is hard, and you do it anyway. Or even being willing to realize you're worth investing in yourself. Like the other day, one of my kids wanted to, um, edit a video, but he needed a different software, and I said, "Well, you should go buy that other."

Software. He's like, "Well, I don't want to waste my allowance money." And I said, "Well, then understand that if you want to get better at something, you have to make an investment." He's like, "Well, I'll try to figure it out." I said, "You could, or you could just decide to make an investment so you can get faster so you can do the thing so maybe down the road you can get paid to do this. Like, this is what your dad does. I literally take money, buy things, invest in stuff to become better, to become more valuable to the world. I want my kids to understand this, not when they have to go to university and pay for their education. I want them to be paying for their education when they're 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14. I want them to just understand that that's just how you move in life."

What's your process for goal setting? My process for goal setting is kind of unique. It's very different. There's a few layers to it, and I'll give you some of the high-level, but there's a whole nuance to it that's more spiritual that most people wouldn't understand. However, first off, I listen to my heart for what I think I should accomplish in life. Like, I, I, I really, I call it a flood of consciousness, and I go get quiet and I ask my Creator, "What do you want me to create with my life? I am a tool for you to create on this world." And I just listen to my heart and I take that, and I do that every year. Every year I reset. Okay? I'm not, I'm not tied to any specific path in life. I'm tied to honoring that journey.

Then I look at, like, 25 years from now, what, what does he want me to do then? Then I pull those things back into annual goals. And then what I do is, first off, I make a list of everything I want to do or buy this year. So if I want to buy, there's a new chair in my office, awesome chair, as chair, brand new supercar, that's on there. Trip with my family, that's on there. So essentially, I put all the things that I want to spend money on. And then I look at my goals and I put them as a milestone on the journey to achieve my goals.

So, for example, on my fitness journey, I had one of the cars I wanted to buy, my my Urus, my Lamborghini Urus, was Project Visible Abs. Did that. Then I had a business goal, a new company I started, and we hit that. That unlocked the GT3 Touring, beautiful car, by the way. Then on the way up, fitness-wise, 215 lean, right, which was something I never even thought possible, unlocked the Ferrari Pista. And I just, I keep doing that. And what's fun is that I, I, I share my goals and what they unlock. Often times, the fitness goals will unlock an experience with the family. And I just won't go. Like, I have an annual snowboarding trip, and usually there's some goal that's tied to that. I won't go on the trip. It's never happened because I'm motivated. See how I did the motivation? But that's how it works. You tie your rewards to your goals, or at least a milestone along your goals.

Then what I do is, once I have my 12 power goals for the year, for each one of them, I ask myself, "What are the resources that I have access to? The people, the products, the tools, the courses, the anything resources, what I want to achieve this goal? What are my res—" Oh, I know the person, sit on this board, they could probably help me get, you know, wholesale pricing for this thing so I can do this charity thing. Cool. So I write down all the resources. Then I connect triggers to them, right? And I try to remind myself to review. So I review my goals three times a day. And that, that alone would change the game for you. So three times a day, I look at my 12 goals for the year and I look at, and I just ask myself, like, "Am I aligned with those things? Is my calendar a reflection of those, those goals? Are my standards a reflection of those goals?" And then for each one of them, I break the goal into the daily, weekly standard I would have to uphold to achieve that goal.

See, James Clear talks about this. Says, "Most people won't rise to the size of their goals. They'll fall to the level of their systems." So at the beginning of a race, an Iron Man, like I've done, or an ultra, everybody's got the same goal to be number one or to obviously finish. But the person who had the best system for training is going to win. Most people don't ask themselves, "What would the daily, weekly rhythm, routine, standard would I need to adhere to to make that goal inevitable?" So if I wanted to get to a physical fitness level that is the best shape I've ever been in my life, well, for six months, what's the standard? Is it 2,000 calories a day, 190 grams of protein, and break a sweat every day? If that's the standard, that's what you got to do. But you got to design it. So whatever the standard, if it's 100 calls, you want to do a business goal, a financial goal, like, what is the standard you will commit to? And that'll actually show you how much capacity you have in your calendar. Because most people set a list of too many goals that they don't have time to actually accomplish because they haven't broken it down to the actual activities they would have to hold for a long period of time for them to achieve that goal.

That's what makes my process very unique. Is I connect the goal to the standard, to the resources, to the rewards, to the triggers that I then review. When I sit in my car, when I sit at a certain desk, when I sit in a chair, to make sure that I'm always keeping them front and center. Most people set their goals once throughout the year and then never look at them ever again. Again, I'm looking at them two to three times a day.

What's the spiritual part of your goal-setting process? The spiritual part is to connect with my Creator every morning and ask him for help. See, more I study faith, all faith, I've realized that he actually tells us to ask him for help. Most people don't. I give him all the craziest, toughest things. "Hey, I have no idea." I call them goals are meant to grow you. So like, there's goals that I don't know anybody that's ever done this. I've never done it for sure, and I really need some help. And I use that connection to my Creator to give him, "Hey, could you, could you bring a person into my life? Could you point me in a direction? Could you remind me of a resource that I forgot that I had? Could you inspire me to write some words that might connect with somebody that could reach out and support this goal? Could I, could you remember to remind me to say something on my hike on Tuesday to everybody that comes to tell them about a specific goal?" You know, and as I say that, I go, "Oh yeah, I should speak my goals more often out loud." Because we speak our futures into existence. It's like, "Oh yeah, I forgot. Okay, I'll do that. Thank you." Like, literally, sometimes it's just, you know, I realized a long time ago, my first thought's not my thought. Think about this. If you're driving and you have a thought, you didn't ask for that thought. You didn't even think of that thought. It came to you. You're in the shower, you have a thought. Where did that come from? Think about that. Where did it come from? Now, your job is what you do with that thought, what meaning you associate to it, what action you take from it, what it inspires. I think that's the coolest thing in the world. So all I'm trying to do every day is set myself up in a position where I can receive. See, most people don't get ready to receive. They don't prepare. If you knew you're going to have a baby in nine months, wouldn't you get ready to have such said baby? Yeah, you would. Get the crib, get some clothes, put a, you know, a room together, create the nest. Most people do not get ready to receive their blessings they've been asking for. They don't prepare. The goal setting, the standards, the spiritual alignment, the triggers, that's preparation to receive.

Do you believe in manifestation? I believe in manifestation. I believe in the quantum. I believe I'm a woo-woo guy backed by science. Like, study the literature. There is no doubt that there is energy. I mean, the simple concept of Mr. Happy Face and Mr. Grumpy Pants, like, that simple energy, your frequency is what you will see. If you are a happy person, you, you will see happiness. If you are a sad person, you're going to walk through the world with a cloud over your head, you know? See, I learned a long time ago, studying all, so Thinking Grow Rich is the book that most successful people will always point to as a pivotal moment when they started to understand how it all worked, how they finally realized. And they don't write about this in the book, but this is what I took away from it. Everything in existence right now, this desk, this mic, this shirt, first existed in the mind of a person from the past. So think about that. Your life right now, watching this on the device you're watching it, you're essentially living in the dreams of people from the past. That's kind of a crazy idea. So if you realize this, that nothing exists in the physical form before first being in existence in the mind of their imagination, then how do you create from that place? Well, the world isn't as it is. It's as you are. You're experiencing the world. There are people that think the world is a bad place and full of angry people and full of people take advantage of them. And as they go through the world and they have these beliefs, they find examples of that left, right, and center all day long. They're like, "See, that person's evil. That person took advantage of that person." This. They will find examples. The other person, like me, I believe the world is full of kind people, motivated people, generous people, uh, good opportunity, unlimited res— I literally believe the world has unlimited capital available to great ideas and to great people. Period. Full stop. It just does. That's why I'm zero surprised that I find those opportunities. I'm zero surprised that I end up coaching a guy, Kevin, who eventually decided to leave his firm to then come and co-create a $100 million hold co with me to buy a software company. Every month. Is that magic? Is that manifestation? Yeah, because you have to hold the belief that it's true. You'll only receive for yourself what you desire for others. Think about that idea. If all these things are true, then the best energy to be in, the best way to manifest, is to aspire and help other people achieve what they want. You know, a long time ago, I think Dale Carnegie said, "You can, you can accomplish anything if you help enough other people accomplish what they want." If your dreams and goals are big enough for everybody on your team's dreams and goals to fit inside of, then you will accomplish what you need because you're helping them get what they need. And it's such a beautiful way to live. And that is true manifestation is understanding that what you put out in the world, you come back. The world is a mirror, not a window. And as you live that life, you will get your blessings back. You got to understand, you just got to manage that energy. You got to manage what you focus on. You got to manage that headspace. You got to know what you do when you have a bad situation. You got to know what questions you ask yourself, right? But it's, it's real science. It's like, it's like, um, those magnets, like a needle. There's a, a magnetized needle, and you take another needle and you put on the magnetized needle, it like connects. And then you take the needle apart, and this one's magnetized again. It's kind of like that. If you actually allow yourself to sit in that energy of being. Think about this. Most people, when I tell them, "You have to act as if you already have," they don't get it. They're like, "I don't know how to feel something I've never felt." So, for example, if you want to be a deca-millionaire, okay? You want to make $10 million plus. Most people don't know how to feel what it would be like to have $10 million in their bank account. So imagine, and I wired you $10 million right now into your bank account, wired it, paid the taxes on it, it's yours. But you couldn't touch it for the next 10 days. How would you walk through life the next 10 days knowing that you're going to have access to it? It's yours. There's no strings attached. It's your $10 million to bless the family, to bless yourself, to help other people, whatever you want to do with it. How would you feel? Most people, I ask this question to you, they go, "Top of the world." One guy screamed out one time, this guy Adam O, he said, "I'd feel like I'd take over the city. I'd be the mayor." I said, "Great. You need to learn how to act like that, even if you don't have the money yet." See, that is the, the beingness is that you have to act under the assumption it's already yours. Some people are really great at this. The best manifestors, they're not delusional. Like, they'll still get off and do the work. One of my mentors calls it the Law of Goya, right? Get off your ass. You do need to do the work. But the energy you do in the work is under the energy and assumption that you've already received. You've already got it. And that's the coolest part. Imagine if you went on a phone call with a potential hire, but you know you got $10 million in your bank account. Imagine you got on with a potential investor in your company, you know you got $10 million in bank account. Imagine you go on a date with a girl, first date, and you know you had $10 million in bank account. You don't think you'd have a little bit more confidence, maybe? That is what I'm talking about. And that's just, that's just facts. Think about it. It's just facts. You know how you would feel? Just assume that energy and you will attract Mr. Happy Face, not Mr. Grumpy Pants.

What are your thoughts on retirement? I think retirement is the stupidest thing in the world. It's the dumbest thing. It's so stupid. It's like, if you truly do what you love to do, then why would you retire from being you? I have zero interest of not being me. And now you might say, "Well, that's nice for you, Dan. I don't enjoy what I do." Perfect. How much time do you have left? Because you should fix that. You literally can bet on you. You can do what you want to do. You can decide to wake up and create a world, a future where what you do is your source of income, who you are is how you make money, what you love to do is also what you get paid to do. That is the most beautiful thing in the world. So if anything, why wait to retirement to finally live life? Why don't you just blend it all together and just make it you? This is life. There is no place to get to. There's no, "I'm going to retire and then travel the world." Why don't you create a world today where you can travel the world and do what you do? Why don't you create a scenario where you work at it with a vision that when I get to these different levels of milestones, then I will be able to afford this freedom on my calendar? I can buy back some of my time. I can have somebody support us in our home, support me in my business, so that I can be there for my kids' soccer games. Why do you have to wait for a day that's called retirement? Why? Like, why would you take yourself out of the market? Think about this. The most valuable you'll be is in the future. And in the moment where you're the most valuable to the market, the most wisdom, experience, knowledge, know-how, you decide to take yourself out of the marketplace. That's crazy. What if in the, what if instead of retiring, the next five years, you worked part-time? But those that part-time income made more money for you than the previous 10 years combined because of just how much more potent and valuable you are. The value in creating in the world. Like, I just find this idea of retirement just so weird. And I know where it came from. And it was created to get a bunch of old people out of the marketplace to make space for the young people because they needed jobs. But it, it doesn't make sense. A farmer didn't ever retire from being a farmer. He was a farmer. I'm not retiring from being me. It's who I am. I'm just looking at my calendar all the time saying, "Okay, do I want to do more of this or less of this?" I don't want to stop creating. I'm a creator. If you're a creator, if you're somebody that loves to create, you love ideating, you like problem-solving, you like challenges, you like being pushed, you like growing, you like to contribute to other people, you want to have the biggest impact, have the most resources to help people, don't take retirement. Crumple that concept up and throw it out the window. Light it on fire. Put it in, you know, drop it into some cement. You know, really get rid of it. Because what would you do differently if you knew you couldn't retire? How different would your decisions be? How much quicker would you frontload some of these things you've been putting off? What career changes would you make? That's, that's a fun conversation.

What is this all for? Isn't this awesome? This life we live. At the end of the day, we all end up in the same place. We move on from this physical experience. So why does it matter? Why does it matter that you get up today? Here's what I believe. I believe that we are, we are being used by our Creator to experience each other. So like, I am here, and I can't be here unless I experience you people in my life. Like, that's just a fact. Nobody wants to be by themselves, feeling lonely. It doesn't feel good, right? Doing something every day without purpose doesn't feel good. So in many ways, I believe that the whole point of life is to experience life with other people. And through that, to continue to do the work to become a better version of you. See, I believe you were created to do something great with your life. I believe you're here to solve problems, to help other people. And it doesn't have to be a billion-dollar company or a big nonprofit. It could be as simple as being a really great friend. Whatever it is for you, but I believe it's on your heart. I believe you actually know what it is, and you have to trust that. And if you wake up every day to try to become the best version of yourself, what you know in my faith, we'll say the, the image of my Creator, God created me in his image. And what he thought I was had potential to do, what I like to call my 10.0 self. Think of all the moments in my life where I've shown up powerfully, generously, kindness, had resources, was super creative, connected my Creator, all the like, best moments. And I put those together. And that version of Dan could show up every second of every minute of every day. That's the 10.0 version of my life. I'm going to strive for that. I don't know if I'll ever achieve it, but that's what I believe everybody's here to do. And it feels really good as you do that.

The second part to that, though, is you got to share with other people what's worked for you. See, some people make a big deal. They're like, "But I'm not qualified to teach anybody else." Yes, you are. Everybody's born a teacher. Think about it. Have you never given somebody else advice? Yeah, you have. Because it feels right. Somebody's doing something that isn't right, you want to tell them how to do it, right? Everybody does this. But I would encourage you to go further. Anything that you've gone through in your life that was hard for you, that you overcame, I believe that it's your, it's your duty, it's your responsibility, it's actually your Dharma, it's your mission, it's your purpose to help other people with that. Just by teaching them what worked for you. Nobody can say that's not the best way to do it. It don't matter if it's the best way to do it. It worked for you. If you wake up every day to strive to become the best version of yourself, and as you learn things on that journey, decide to share that with other people, the transformation, the process, the thinking, the books, the resources, the relationships, whatever it is, I think you'll wake up and you'll be living a life of fulfillment. A life that you definitely will not want to retire from. A life that feels effortless, feels full of joy, feels exciting. Hard. It's not easy. But as you continue to build, you'll realize you have so much more to give. And it turns out it's really hard to feel sad when you're serving. It's really hard to feel anxious when you're giving. It's almost impossible. So if you do those two things, I think it'll bring you a life that you never even thought was possible.

Do you believe in God? I believe in God. I just may not believe in the God, you know, even that word is polluted. So my faith is my faith. It's just like when somebody says, "Prove to me that you love your child." I don't have to. I love my child. I love my boys, like, deeply. And if somebody's like, "Yeah, but, but, but look, your definition of love might be different than mine." It doesn't change the fact that I have love for my child. I have a belief in a God, a Creator, and it may look different. Even people that study the same faith as me may have a completely different construct for what they think is God, and I am totally okay with that. I love learning about other people's Gods. I love learning about other people's Jesus's. I love learning about other people's faith. I love talking to people that don't believe in God. Doesn't change anything for me. I believe every person, every human, every soul is on a path and a journey to discover their God in life. Your Creator may be nudging you. Okay, when you think it's a rejection, it's actually repositioning. He's just like, "Hey, going to close that window, put you on this path." And it's funny how everybody, through their own journey, could be breathwork, could be Buddhism, could be plant medicine, could be Christianity, they all are on a journey to find God.

How can I find meaning in life? Like, I don't even know what meaning actually means. Because meaning, in many ways, is how can I justify that my life has purpose? And I just believe every person is here to help other people around them experience life. So if that isn't meaningful enough for you, if you don't realize that we're all connected and there's this oneness about us, in many ways, we're the fingertips of consciousness and spirit. That's the meaning. Is for you to interact and evolve and grow. You know, what's the meaning of a plant that starts off as a seed that becomes, you know, an oak tree? It just is. Like, do we need to find meaning in growth in a seed becoming an oak tree, or can you just accept that that's what its purpose is here on Earth? I think your life is no different. Your purpose is to grow. Your purpose is to expand. Your purpose is to learn. Your purpose is the good and the bad. That's hard for people. They're like, "Why the bad?" I don't know about you, but I've never really grown unless I went through a challenge. It took setbacks, it took friction, it took toughness. You know, no pressure, no diamonds. It took some serious moments of introspection for me to realize, "I have to change. I need to stop. I need to have a different strategy." And I would love for you not to have to go through that pain, but I also know that that's usually where most people have change. That's the meaning. That's that's why you're here.