Transcription
Alrighty, boys. Welcome back to the channel. Today's video, dating women helped me understand men. If you're up for a rant, well, you've come to the right place. If you don't want to hear a rant, the original is linked in the video description. Let's continue.
>> Dating women didn't just help me to understand women, it also helped me to understand [music] men. Being a bisexual woman has given me a lot of insight into modern dating and relationships. And in this video, I'm going to share some of my experiences. So, let's get started.
The first thing that I realized is that women communicate indirectly, and it is genuinely hard to navigate. What I learned is that women, even the most like therapized, best communicators among us rarely say what it is that they actually need. They communicate.
>> There we go. Once again, men, we need to be mind readers. Any man out there who's been in a long-term relationship, married, even just got a girlfriend, you'll see your woman from time to time, she's in a foul mood. She's absolutely unbearable to be around. You're asking, "Babe, what's wrong? What have I done? Or what's the matter? How can I help you?" Nothing. Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine. I'm fine. stop asking me where as a matter of fact everything was not fine but you're supposed to somehow know you're supposed to read minds and the difference between what I've noticed men and women is we as men we don't see some of the issues that women see as a big deal as a big deal very small things that we wouldn't even probably notice blows their mind and that's when they get foul like this I won't tell you you're supposed I good times >> indirectly and they rely on that level of indirect communication. It's something that we do with other women. And so it's like kind of the way that we operate and then we expect the people that we are dating to understand our hints, our tone, our non-verbal communication, our energy shifts and our subtle cues.
How exhausting does that sound? No wonder. No wonder most guys are living uh a life of quiet desperation, being monitored by the jail warden that is their wife, that is their girlfriend, walking on eggshells in your own house, too scared to really say anything, do anything that's going to upset the boss. You don't even know what you're doing. She just doesn't like you. Doesn't want you to be around you. The very sight of you annoys her. The very sound of you eating chips, bowl of chips on the couch. Crunch, crunch, crunch. As you're eating away, you're happy. You've had a big day. You're just chilling out with a packet of chips. She's giving you daggers. She wants to knife you. You're breathing. You breathe too loud. You're eating your dinner too loud. hund other things. That's why men have to put up with this [ __ ] because they'll focus on these small things that aren't the actual problem. Getting upset about you and stuck in the dishwasher the wrong way. Getting upset about uh like the list just goes on. I I could I could sit here and reel off a hundred things. you didn't throw the uh you threw one you threw a pair of socks right at the laundry hamper and one of the socks hit the rim and fell to the ground and and you left it there. You just got to cop it. That's what I say to men all the time, right? What what you getting at the start, right? That woman who's fun, easygoing, everything you do is great. Everything every joke you say, you can't do no wrong because you're just the best dude ever. You're living in fantasy land. getting heaps of action. You're going on maybe that first one or two holidays, you know, you go to Bali, you go to Thailand, you go to the beach there. It's the best time if it's carefree action. She respects you. There's none of these games. There's no silent treatment. And then you sign up to the deal. You sign up to the deal. Get married without doing due diligence. It's not that due diligence can save you. It can help you make a better decision. Guys rushing in. They're on the high of the bang bus reenactments of being gassed up. She loves all your friends. She loves your family. And then as I said, you get that ring, there's a bit of wedding cake involved. And now what you got was not as advertised. Not as advertised. So I say to guys, if you hate sex, you hate money, you hate freedom, and you love being harassed, ad nauseium, get married because that's exactly where you get. If you actually like those things, you like burning cash, you like having no agency, like being monitored 247, do it. Do it.
So, when I was with women, I often felt the same kind of confusion that many of my male clients report. Like, I'm [music] doing what she asked for, but somehow it's still wrong. I don't understand why it's wrong. And I'll give you an example. Not someone that I was dating, but a female friend of mine actually like ended a friendship with me because even though I was doing the things that she requested, she said that it wasn't actually what she wanted and she didn't want.
>> Ding, ding, ding. There you go. And you'll get a lot of guys probably watching this video and resonating with what I'm saying here who might have been through this particular process in their life. This exact same situation. You you don't know which way is up or down, left or right, because they're telling you all these things that you need to fix to get her happy. She's switched off on you. You've seen a massive shift in her behavior. Um, you've seen an increase in her resentment for you. You're trying to work it out. Well, what have you done? Day by day, it gets worse. She becomes more seething. Then you ask her, say, "What's going on here?" She goes, "Okay, XYZ. I know you might have put on a little bit of weight, which really isn't the problem. Uh, as I said, you're eating things too loud. You're breathing too loud. You're snoring. You know, the list goes on, right? Those aren't the things that are the problem." But she'll never tell you. She'll tell all her friends. All her friends will know that you've got a small, misaligned, and misshaped troglodite penis, that you can't pipe her down properly, or that you don't spend money on her. you know, her friends, they they're seeing uh on Instagram or Facebook, depending on the age. They're seeing their friends, they're getting taken out and having all these photos at restaurants and she's sitting at home with you doing boring good old beige. That's a new term. Beige, boring things like saving money, building a nest egg for the future. No, no, no. We can't do that. Got to have the excitement off uh Instagram that our friends are getting. So that's that's that's how it goes. So guys, do it. Get married. You're dealing with someone who has the emotional maturity a lot of the time. Not saying all women are like this. Emotional maturity of a child, who cannot tell you what is going on, who cannot be direct. I'll tell you when they can be direct. When they've decided you're done. All right. When when you're done, you're there. Done with you, mate. straight down family court. They've probably already been shopping around if they're treating you in this way. Shopping around, getting expert advice from several lawyers and even more expert advice from the divorce women already in their group who have been through it and they know the game. They've worked it out. She's got a rough idea what she's going to work away with. She's doing all the checks and balances. She's got the the suite of financial statements, the net worth. She knows. I can't tell you exactly what's wrong. I can tell you how much money you owe.
>> Be in a a friend platonic relationship with someone who like couldn't understand how to be there for her in the way that
>> Guys, before I get started, um, consider subbing to the channel if you're new. Like, comment, um, and share. that really helps me get out there. You guys sharing them and watching the videos through is what pushes them uh through uh the algorithm, gets it out to a wider audience. If you want to also support the channel, uh the locals [snorts] community is growing. It's free at the moment. The first month is free running a promotion. Go and sign up to that. If you're not enjoying it, just unsign and you won't be charged anything. It's free. So, go and look at it. Nothing to lose. Also, if you want to have a chat to me, I've chatted with many of you guys now. It's been really great. If you want to talk to me, 30 or 60 minute options uh can be found in the video description or pin comment. Without further ado, for those of you who want to do none of that stuff, let's keep watching here and having a rant. She needed even though I was doing what she said she needed. It was really painful. [music]
Anyway, the moral of the story is that men are not clueless. The instructions are confusing. [music]
All right. Second thing that I realized is that the masculine frame is not at all theoretical. It's real and it feels like pressure. So women often say that they want their partner to hold the masculine frame, right? To like be the wall that the wave crashes against, the thing that contains the storm. And being with a woman showed me what it feels like to feel like you have to stay grounded, like you have to lead, like you have to know what to do, like you have to be the calm. My inner experience as someone who mostly identifies as very feminine is that it was kind of scary because like what if I don't know what to do? What if I can't hold it all together while she's falling apart? What if I want to fall apart? What if I don't want to be the wall, but I want to be the storm? Okay, it helped me to realize that men are not weak. They've just been given an impossible job that doesn't come with any sort of instruction manual and they're supposed to act all the time like they know exactly what they're doing. brings me
>> I think a lot of the time like a lot of women out there they're not appreciating what it takes for someone to be that particular kind of guy who is the rock in life who has everything together so that woman doesn't need to worry about anything. She made one really good comment there. And this is another thing about marriage. I say, I'm really driving it home here, guys. For whatever reason, there guys just want to get married. They got this thing in their head. I want to get married. Why? I I don't understand it. You're signing up. You're paying to have no sex, to have no fun, to have the sex is the smallest thing. But mind you, guys, put in the comments if you are married, have been married and divorced, put in the comments, would you would you do it again? Would you recommend a younger version of yourself to do it again or another young man watching this video or man for any age for that matter? Would you recommend it? I dare say it's going to be a resounding no. I might have people watching who have a great have had a great run and can't see what I'm talking about. Think that I'm off flying off the handle for no reason. But I want to see it. Put in the comments. So what you're getting is she made one great point. The woman is the storm. And I tell you what, guys, uh some of the worst, most rocky times in my life and people close to me through observation that I've seen, their biggest problems in their life, the most stressful periods in their lives that almost broke them down to nothing caused by a woman, caused by female nature being that storm on the way out, blowing guys lives up. So hang signing up to a deal to be a therapist, a chauffeur, a chef, the list goes on. Financial provider, banker, gardener, mechanic, list goes on, where you most of the time aren't going to get that much out of it. Have a think about it. That's why I always say to guys, I know I'm ranting and I'm jumping around here a little bit. But I always say to guys, have a think about what you're actually getting out of the situation. I really assess it before you pull that trick. Even a move in a move in is basically the same thing. Are you getting something out of it? Doesn't need to be money. Is she making your life better or has she shown you signs that she could be very capable of making it a lot worse? Because if you're seeing signs of that, well, there's that capability has been proven and uh that storm can definitely be coming your way and likely will at some point. me to realization number three. Women expect their partners to know what's going on and take care of them. And those expectations can be tremendous. Being with women taught me the intensity of that sort of like double expectation. Know what I need intuitively and help me to emotionally regulate even when I don't know what I need. We often think about women as the caretakers in relationship and that's fair. For the most part, women are conditioned to caretake. But we don't give men
>> what ne I've never only apart from early days in every relationship I've been in or dating experience I've been in has the woman been the more caring one or emotionally more in tune. I don't know. I've heard this whole thing women are nurturers and they support men and blah blah blah. I've never personally witnessed that. I've never seen it. Only the early days where they're putting their best foot forward. That has been the absolute opposite. Generally, it's the men who are providing emotional support to women. Most women can't even go to work 9 to5, come home without having some drama. Straight in the door. She comes in the door and she is fuming. She's steaming, filthy. Something's happened and you're going to hear all about it. That energy gets dropped straight onto you. Ruins your day. But you've got your own [ __ ] going on. You listen about how Jenny from work is a massive [ __ ] and this guy at work, he's a bloody not smart and he told her this and she knows that and he was mansplaining and blah blah blah. You know what I'm talking about. Oh yeah, apparently women are the more nurturing. Okay, the credit that they deserve for the caretaking that they do. And I'm saying this also as a partner, as a female partner. Like I can realize now that I put my male partners in this situation where I want them to know what's going up with me and take care of me all at the same time. And this can make men feel like they can never [music] get it right because they're supposed to know everything and hold everything simultaneously. Which brings me to the fourth realization that I had. Female arousal is complex. The first time that I was face to face with a vulva, even though I very much wanted to be there and had been trying to figure out how to have sex and get into a sexual situation with a woman for a long time, I felt a tremendous amount of pressure. And this is like I have this body. I know all the parts. I'm a professional. I don't was I professional at that point? Yeah, I was a professional. I was a professional educator at that point. I understood everything I needed to understand in order to succeed. And I was still a little panicked because women's arousal is contextual. Women's bodies are sensitive. They do change daytoday and week to week. There's a lot going on and they often need a tremendous amount of presence and slowness and nuance and it can feel like staring at a volva is more like trying to crack a safe than it is to like
>> evolv. But no, let's talk about that. As I was saying, guys, because people think I'm being cynical or maybe I've got a small knob. I don't know how to pipe pipe down. You know, I'm a two pump chump, as I call it. And that's why I talk about all the sex chopping off over time. Guys, women will give you the best performance when they want to get you in the door, when there's something on the line, when there is a commitment. Especially a commitment in the crosshairs, especially at a certain age. Guys, put the comments. Are you out there dating 30 plus? And these women are out there trying to sell sell themselves. And what are they leading with? Slinging around their vulva, I guess to put it in her language. Slinging around. There's no presence. There's no emotional connection that you're going to need to do. There's no rubbing her back and feet and massaging her and doing chore play, mate. She straight up is just up and down on you. She is in the car park back at the VN parked up beside the cricket nets down the local um cricket field. That's what she's doing. There's no question about it. Every time you see her, it's spread eagle. Every time she wants to see you, you want to see her. It's exciting. Then you move in and a couple of years goes on and now you even get a slither of action. You got to try and uh do some puzzle. You know, you start, oh, I'll wash the car for her. I'll do this and that. All this chore play BS that is absolutely wrong. The guys get sucked into doing what it means when they don't want to have sex with you. Uh, they don't like you anymore. Although maybe they never did. And that's a very confronting thing to think about because when they do want you, when there is something in it for them, they are just the easiest lock to open possible. There's no there's no actually effort in it.
>> Figure out how to put together is like sexy puzzle. What I understood about men then is that they're not rushing or being clumsy in bed because they're insensitive. They're anxious and they're just trying not to fail. And that is a pretty intense frame to hold. Which brings me to number five. Feminine chaos is real and it is not easy to hold. I once had a moment where I was helping this woman to prepare for a trip and I walked into her apartment and I saw that her suitcase was in the middle of the floor totally empty and then everything was just completely strewn about everywhere. There was stuff everywhere. And I just remember thinking, "Oh my god, this is feminine chaos." I've been that woman before. I've been overwhelmed andregardless and impossible to support and just completely lost inside of the chaos of it all.
>> That sounds like a good deal to sign up to, doesn't it, God? Look at this. This is what you're going to get some days. I kid you not. And you're there just trying to work out what the hell is going on. Are you living in a mental asylum? You're going to feel like that some days. You'll have these arguments. They'll escalate from next to nothing and next thing you know, it's just full-blown row. You don't even know how you got there. just tit for tat, just just escalating. Love you one minute, don't they, love you the next. And then what I've noticed with a lot of these women is if you're showing signs that their behavior is not on, even if it's uh indirect communication through your body language, you've shut down on them or you're not engaging with them, then they'll flip that to making you're the bad guy and you're this and that and the other, and they'll have a go at you about that. Move in, fellas. Cohabitate. Please do it. So you can come back here and tell me that I was right. thrashing around and just like making it worse as I'm going and expected a male partner to sort of like help me contain myself and be the person to hold me while I got it all together. And
>> how good does that look? Like seriously, what do I expect from us? A lot of men aren't built that way. Yes, we have a threshold where we can be caring and we can ask questions and be considerate of emotions, but it comes a point where it becomes difficult to do it. It becomes very draining to do living in this sort of uh energy right in this environment that is supposed to be your home and your place of solace and quiet from the world and all the pressures that you have in your life. You know, you might run a business or you have a demanding job and your boss is riding you. Whatever it might be, you come home and you're playing therapist, patting someone's head.
>> Sounds like a great deal, doesn't it?
>> When men don't want to do that, when they turn away, when they don't feel confident that they're capable of doing that, that's not them being cold. That is them being overrun by a swirl of emotion and intensity as it's coming up at them. We just have sort of different ways of being with that overwhelm. Realization number six, women have an enormous capacity for grace, but it's often conditioned and not fully authentic. What I mean by this is that women often are quick to forgive and soften and make space, make peace, and move on. But sometimes that is coming from their conditioning, and it's not their truth. We don't want to blame women for this because this is how they are raised and the expectations that are made of them. But then they You can see once again no accountability. You can This is a personality flaw. Personality flaw. Oh no, we can't blame women for this. This is how their society raised what? Never heard more nonsense in my life. That's the thing. Women also get a massive free kick in life. They get away with a lot. Think about how I'm not condoning any violence here by the way, but let's listen to this analogy that I want to talk about. Think about maybe some of the things that a woman might have said to you. Something deeply cutting, something highly offensive said on purpose to upset you during some sort of some sort of relationship. You know, row. You're having a fight. It's escalated. All the anger's come out and you're a punching bag. Think about some of those things that have been said to you that you're probably never going to forget. Now, if a guy said those same things to you, you'd have him out in the car park. It would be on punch on. But these women, they get away with saying the most horrendous, nasty things and just get away with it because they're women. And that's what women do apparently. No, this this whole thing needs to be revisited. And that's the thing, guys, marry these people. That's what I'm talking about. you are signing up to a lifetime of absolute misery. And this whole video, which she's basically talked about how women are basically clinically insane with little glimpses of good, but really what you're mostly going to get is someone who's an unstable basket, okay, who can fly off the handle and have emotional breakdowns uh at the drop of a hat.
>> end up being resentful because they're not actually feeling that way. they don't actually want to forgive and move on. Or they don't actually feel great about whatever just happened, but they've been taught that they need to just like make peace and then let that fester inside of them. And that leads to women not being clear. That leads to us not being honest about our limits. That leads to us sometimes forgiving before we're actually ready to in order just to keep [music] the peace. And so, of course, men are
>> Are you joking or what?
>> This has not been my experience anyway. Let us forgive to keep the peace. This is what men do. Men put up with [ __ ] Or men try and extract themselves from a situation. It's just escalating and he cannot see a way out of. Women don't do that. They will keep handpicking. They will keep going. They love it. They're like pigs rolling in mud. Pigs love rolling in mud. Women love a good fight. Women love a good emotional row where all the dirt can come out and they can start bringing up things from six years ago. men try and escape the situation
>> going to be confused because they might feel like the rules are changing moment to moment like we already made up about this but you're still angry about it. It is a beautiful thing that a lot of women have space in their hearts to forgive and like move on quickly but only when it is true which brings me to realization number seven. Dating women made me feel protective of men. I saw how impossible the expectations for men can be and how much they get blamed for that stuff when they don't get it right. Dating women made me want to help boys become men. Many of the myths that
>> you got to be joking, right? So lesbian, oh, hang on. Bisexual woman thinks she has the knowledge to help boys become men. What world are we living in here? What world are we living in? What kind of man is going to be raised by a lesbian or a bisexual woke? And I'm not saying this as a nasty thing at all. I'm just talking straight facts here. And that's and that's why the world is the way it is. That's why a lot of young men today are lost because they're raised by people like this. either through their mom, mother, whatever you want to call it, mommy or school, university is the kinds of people conditioning them. And things that we believe culturally about men, both men and women are untrue. Like men aren't emotionally unavailable. Sometimes they're just overwhelmed. Men aren't necessarily bad communicators. They're just
>> You said they're emotionally unavailable. I just couldn't give two flying [ __ ] a lot of the time about what you're saying. They're mentally exhausted from there's always a problem. There's never a moment of calm. There's never a moment of uh happiness only. It's very fleeting if there is one. He thinks life's good. He's in doesn't realize he's in the eye of the storm and more bullshit's coming. That's when men become emotionally unavailable. whatever that means means I want to listen to [ __ ] that is not important and have to put his brain power uh and stress and anxiety behind that to try and solve problems that shouldn't even be a problem in the first place
>> working with mixed signals they're not necessarily weak carrying so much silently and this is why I have created a entire halfday summit just to support men in learning these systems so that they show up clearly and confidently in the way that they want to. Men don't [music] have a sex problem. They have a system problem, a relational problem, a pressure problem. And that is why I built this.
>> No, they've got a problem. And it's called crazy women. That's what this whole video is about. Women being a lot of women. I'm not saying all. There are some great women out there. I've never said that once in the hundreds and hundreds of videos I've made over the years. Majority of them are clinically insane or have the ability to be clinically insane. Most men are trying to exist and even just want to have a woman. Most men aren't going to bring all these relationship problems. These women create them out of their own mind because they're not getting what they perceive they should be getting out of a guy. As I was talking about earlier, the whole Instagram comparison. Doesn't matter what you got. if she feels like she doesn't have what someone's put up on Instagram, whether it be some sort of [ __ ] romance, one of those books with Fabio on the cover or being taken away on holidays or to nice restaurants. You might be trying to save money and she wants to go and she sees her friends all the time. You know, with the photo, you know the photo, it's a stock standard photo. You'll see it up on Instagram. The woman sitting there with a cocktail dress on with like a martini, espresso martini and doing that same pose with the legs crossed and all this sort of thing. Very graceful. Or you'll see them sitting there smiling with a meal in front of them. Yeah, some guy is paying for that and taking the photo. Some guy probably didn't want to do those things but felt he had to otherwise you wouldn't get a shot. You wouldn't get a look in. [laughter] Uh, my mate Larry, he got dumped by a woman who sent him a Instagram reel that had 10 things that all women should expect from their boyfriend, partner, but whatever you want to call it on in a relationship. And and she'd circled two of them in red. You know, she she'd screenshotted or she' done something. I don't know what it was. And she'd send it over and she said, "You are not giving me these. I can't see you anymore. It's been good. See you later." Boom. Gone. [laughter] Mental [ __ ] Mental. Guess where that woman is? She's now trying to get back in with old Lazar. She's trying to weasel in. And he ain't biting, which is good. She went out. She thought she was going to do, but uh he he fully he probably would have married her after 6 months. He's a perfect speedrun candidate. And I don't say that out of making fun out of him. Just some guys are Larry's. And he's the he is the Larry, right? He's the original version. But no, he was boring. And she found something to pick pick at him. All right. Pick at him. He wasn't doing this or he didn't have that. And she got rid of him thinking that she was going to get someone who had nine or 10 of those things. Didn't happen. That's the thing about women and happiness. They can never be happy. There's always something. There's always something bothering them, always something they have to have, something they feel like they're not getting, always comparing. As I say, comparison is the thief of joy because generally what they're looking at is not true to the actual situation of what they're trying to compare against doesn't exist or it's a lie. [laughter] [snorts] I said, guys, yeah, go get married. Then you'll know what I'm talking about. completely free [music] summit so that men can come and learn about the best ways, tips, techniques, and tactics for dealing with the romantic and sexual and erotic relationships that they hold dear. Whether you're in a long-term relationship or single and looking to start a relationship, you need the tools and the tactics that you were just not good on. She's doing well. She's doing a business, right? I'm not I'm not bagging her video at all. think it's quite a good video. She's very very good information there. However, I just don't think women should be teaching men anything. It's like me running a seminar on how to best prepare yourself for um your period, your upcoming period and how to deal with your, you know, your cramps. I'm going to say, I'm going to teach you through my experience how to deal with period pain. What you probably be thinking, what's this guy going on about? This is the exact same thing. I as a woman, I'm going to teach you how to be a man. Okay? You would never understand how a man feels. You're still a woman who dated women. You You're not a man who dated women. It's that's still a very different experience. Yes, you got an insight into some of the [ __ ] that men can deal with, but you don't get the full experience. You don't have those full problems and troubles and stresses on your shoulders trying to put fires out like a man does. and are expected to somehow I don't know.
>> Anyway, I'm going to leave it there because she's just doing her last plug at the end of her video. If you do like her video or you want to subscribe to her, you can find her video in the video description. Uh, go and check it out if you'd like to support her. Um, also locals, check that out once again, guys. And I've been plugging it quite a bit on this channel. Quite a few of you are coming over now. As I said, it's free first month. Sign up. If you don't like it, shut it down. You'll still get a month's free access to all my archive videos. All the stuff that's not on YouTube anymore. The stuff that has gotten me banned off this platform. Well, not banned. It had me community strike, guideline strike twice. That stuff's going up there. So, that's what you want to see. That's where it is. All right, guys. Have a great day. It's hot. It's hot where I am. 42 degrees Celsius. So, if you are in Melbourne and you're dealing with this heat wave, hope you're keeping cool. And for those of you who are in cooler locations, I envy you today. Thanks for watching. See you in the next one.