Transcription
What's going on, guys, and welcome back to the channel. Today, we are going to be reacting to another Kevin Samuels video. Before we get into it, make sure you guys like and subscribe.
>> Uh, you've called in before, haven't you?
>> Hi. Yes, I have.
>> Uh, okay. What do you have on the topic?
>> I definitely think I am a catch and I'm trying to work on being single.
>> Okay. He's like, "That's it." Okay. What else you got for me?
>> And I um I exercise. I'm supportive. I'm caring. And I would
>> How old How old are you?
>> 35.
>> And what And what city do you live in
>> right now? I'm in Nagoya, Japan.
>> Oh, yeah. Can't help you.
>> Well, well, I'm trying to meet someone in America. I want to come back.
>> I can't help you.
>> There's nothing I can do, ma'am. You're in Japan. I mean, you're in a land. See, let me let me use this as a teaching point. Ladies, you cannot do these kind of things, expect to meet the a black man. You got to pick your career and living out live in some place like this or go back to a place where you got an opportunity. Cuz here's the thing, man. You'd have to meet somebody online.
>> Mhm.
>> And they got plenty of And they got plenty of fish right there in the city.
>> Yes.
>> It's too cumbersome.
>> Okay. So, come back to the States
>> if you want. I mean, unless you want to go find a Japanese, man. I mean I mean I mean I mean honestly uh no offense, but let's be honest. Are you going to be Would you be paying for your flights back and forth to the States?
>> Um I can. It's possible.
>> No, it's not possible. You would expect him to pay for them.
>> Yeah. Or him to come see me.
>> Wait, what? So this man has to get up, go all let's say this this man is living in Georgia. He would have to get up and go from Georgia to Japan just to meet you and she expects him to either fly her out or he flies out. Insane. And and look when when Kevin posed that with the question, if it's not answered directly, let's just assume no from now on. If women don't answer it directly, let's just assume though that's insane. You expect a man to fly to Japan to see you? All right, I'm You ready for this question? And it's not personal, but I got the first thing that comes to my mind is what's so great and wonderful about you that men a man needs to fly to Japan to see? I I'm I'm a good woman. I'm nice. I'm caring. I'm supportive.
>> They got those here. They got cater to him.
>> They got those. But see, ma'am, they got those here in the United States. And he doesn't have to spend money and leave the country to possibly find that out.
>> Yes. True.
>> If you were a man, would you go through the kind of trouble you're talking about to to find a woman? If I like terms ma'am ma'am no ma'am no ma'am that comes later down if you were a man would you go through that kind of trouble to find a woman you're trying to say well if she's a good woman that comes later
>> okay
>> if you were a man trying to find a woman would do you how many black men do you think who are high value who already got busy 10 12 14, 16 hour days. Have What do you think they do? Get online and say, "Let me look and see how many black women are in Japan?"
>> No, of course not.
>> So, I'm saying this because effectively far too many of our sisters have put themselves in untenable or unreachable positions and then they tend to blame the situation. And then for somebody like me come along and say, "Ma'am, this is crazy. I get called mean. You're bashing her, telling her she's making a mistake." And ma'am, wh why did you have to go to Japan?
>> I just came. I took a teaching position to travel and be more culture. I thought,
>> "Right." But what do you teach?
>> I'm teaching English. So, to all my critics, understand this woman took a teaching position and that's fine, but there's a cost to that. You basically, you didn't go to a black country. You went to an Asian country to teach something that you could teach in any community college or university or high school right here.
>> I thought, I'm sorry, but I thought being cultured would be more attractive. To who? To who? I thought being cultured would be more attractive to who? I I'm I'm surp How is that supposed to benefit a man? Unless you're going to tell me that, okay, you know, I've came here, I learned their culture, I now know how to cook their food, and maybe I can offer you this type of food, you know, moving forward. But other than that, and and a few other things, maybe speak in a native language. Other than that, how was that beneficial to any man?
>> Okay. How's that working out for you?
>> I do meet a little bit of people, but like I'm out here by the base and they're married and
>> so it's not working.
>> Yeah.
>> So, it was wrongheaded to think that. That's not what men want. It's not what men want. And did that you and and again to the audience far too many women go out and make these emotional decisions without consulting any man and then you want men to come fix this. Understand something. The caller you said that you can afford to do it but you're a teacher. You don't have the money to fly back sensibly to see somebody. You'd really be expecting that person to somehow meet up with you online and then they would have to fund and facilitate the relationship and then if they decided they liked you and you liked him, he'd have to pay for you to move back here. Right.
>> Right.
>> That's insane.
>> Okay. Thank you for your honest input.
>> No problem. There's just no ways to be nice. I mean, see, I'm done trying to Some of this stuff is just silly, ladies. You You think you can weigh what you want to and a man? See what you That's why I put it out there. I'm too blank to be single. Never settle. But the first caller wanted a man to settle for her weight and her lacadasical lifestyle. That woman does not work out. And I don't have to put women on the camera for you to know that living in the south, that's a recipe for weight gain. than the other woman in Japan. But yet, women like this will get online saying they can't find a man, such and so forth. And really, you're quitting. You're not actively out here doing anything.
Hello.
>> Hello.
>> Hello.
>> Oh, God.
>> First name,
>> can you hear me?
>> First name?
>> Bria.
>> Why did you say oh god? Uh, I thought I was muted.
>> What do you got for me, Bri? What did I get wrong?
>> Um, I don't think you got anything wrong. Um, the topic is about letting go of relationships
>> and
>> it's it's a it's it's we need better relationship skills.
>> Right. Right. Um, I'm 26. I'm almost 27 and I've been in an eight-year long relationship. And
>> hold on. You said you've been in an eight-year relationship.
>> Yes.
>> Yeah.
>> Um I was about to mention that I don't think the guy is a suitable provider or protector.
>> Um
>> Okay.
>> Cuz he has a really overbearing mom.
>> Oh, hold on. Let me do this. Let me do my way. He's 20. How old is he?
>> He's 28.
>> 28. So he was uh 20 when you met.
>> Yeah.
>> What does he do for a living?
>> Right now he's selling insurance.
>> For who? State Farm. Farmers All State Prime America.
>> Um New York Life.
>> New York Life. Did he go to college?
>> He has an associates.
>> Okay. But he has his he does he set on uh property and casualty life. Health what?
>> Uh just life and health insurance.
>> Not just life. That's a hard that's a hard license to get. So but he's not doing but he's not doing financial products yet.
>> I don't think so.
>> All right. And how long has he been with that New York Life?
>> Uh exactly a year.
>> A year. So he's just now getting started.
>> All right.
>> Yeah.
>> How much is uh you say you don't think he's a suitable provider?
>> Yeah. Do you have any children?
>> No.
>> Uh, did you go to college?
>> I
>> That's a yes or no question.
>> I didn't finish.
>> All right. So, no, you didn't. You got
>> It's like you can't even answer direct question. Just yes or no. Well,
>> oh man.
>> But no degree.
>> All right. What What do you do for a living?
>> Um, I was working in food service and now I'm unemployed. What does that mean? You you're a waiter server.
>> Uh I worked as like um I worked at a grocery store. I worked um at a restaurant. I've just been in I worked at a hospital serving food. I've just been in food service since I was
>> Okay. And understand I I I waited tables at Papa was one of the best moves I made after college. But you're unskilled labor.
>> Yeah.
>> All right. Uh how tall are you?
>> 53. Uh
>> what what dress size do you wear? a six. Because of the pandemic. We usually
>> Not because of the pandemic, it's because you ate too much.
>> I ate and drank too much. Yeah.
>> Yeah. Don't give me that pandemic [ __ ] You ate too much. You know how to close refrigerator with your big ass,
>> man. Kevin's going off early. But what's so crazy is the nerve of of this woman coming in here saying, "I've been with a man for eight years." Eight years. And I think this man is not a a provider, but this man has to deal with someone that is is is bouncing around from job to job being a food server and is now overweight and is a drinker and she thinks she's getting the bad deal. Silly Wabbit. Come on, man. So, you dress as eight. Uh, what are you normally?
>> A six.
>> Okay. And on the scale from 1 to 10, you can't use eight. What would you rank your looks? No makeup.
>> Uh, I'd say a four.
>> All right. So, you're below you're on the below average side.
>> Um, yeah.
>> All right. So, um, so if you're a high school grad, unskilled labor, what kind of what kind of provider do you what kind of man do you think you should get?
>> Um, that's the thing. Since I'm heading into what you call the danger zone, I was thinking about just like really going back to the drawing board in a way and just like really getting my [ __ ] together.
>> Well, no, no, no, no, no. But I'm trying to ask what kind of man do you think you should get from your just your your straight up sexual marketplace value?
>> I mean, as of right now, I guess my boyfriend is the best I can do.
>> No. No. Even if he wasn't. Okay. If you're a four
>> Mhm.
>> and you're unskilled labor and your average you're not even your average dress size would be a dress size four. That's that's what the normal dress size you're eight. That's that's uh you're not double but you know what I mean.
>> Yeah.
>> It's a matter of expectation. What would you expect to get?
>> How much do you think how much do you what what city do you live in?
>> Cleveland. Cleveland. Ohio.
>> Do you want to have children? I think so.
>> Do you want to have do you get married?
>> Yeah.
>> And why do you want to get married?
>> Um I want to have a life partner.
>> And what is he going to get from you?
>> Well, if we had kids, I would want to um be a nurturer. And um
>> but ma'am, in order to have kids, you would have to want them. I'm asking you, what do you want?
>> I don't know if I want kids right now because I have a lot of mental health issues, but if I can get that under control, then I do want kids.
>> When you say mental health, what do you mean?
>> Um, I was diagnosed with bipolar depression and anxiety when I was 18.
>> Are you under current treatment for that?
>> Yeah. Um,
>> are you on any kind of medication?
>> Yes, I am. And your boyfriend has been with you through all of this.
>> Yeah, he's been my biggest source of support.
>> What? I I am flabbergasted right now. I I feel bamboozled, swindled, finessed, hoodwinkedked, and this guy is not a stable provider. the the woman that's coming in here with all these issues and been subpar for most of her life. And no offense to the people who actually go through these these these things and and and are diagnosed with these things. I have sympathy for you, not for this woman. I mean, I guess in in a way you you have to have some type of sympathy because she's going through something, but she came in here blaming this man.
>> And I don't think that's easy to come by.
>> Are you trolling me right now?
>> Oh god, no, I'm not trolling you. Um, I'm trying to understand, ma'am. I mean, you're
>> Would you mind if a little bit of detail about
>> No, I've got all the details. I got the I got the rough. You're You're an high school educated woman with no skills. You're average looking. You're on the boat. You're way more than norm. And you're saying that something is wrong with him from a provider standpoint because of his overbearing mother. I focused on you. He's got a he's got an associates degree and a career. You've got nothing. Do you think it's possible at my age to um
>> level up? Level up.
>> Yeah.
>> Uh what other channels do you watch?
>> Um I watch Karina Lude. I watch Chrissy. I watch Cindy Black. Uh
>> Crimes. I watch
>> Okay, ma'am. This is why I need you to pay attention. Okay?
>> Okay.
>> This is what happens to far too many of our women. You got a man who's with you. Eight years and you think you can go do better on the open market. No. Why is he not good enough?
>> Because I don't think I could leave my kids alone with his family.
>> Excuse me.
>> His family is kind of
>> You don't think you could leave your kids alone with his family?
>> Yeah.
>> You mean the kids you don't know whether or not you want to have?
>> Well, I guess like I said, if I can get my mental health together, I do want kids. But
>> Okay. Well, here's the thing. Let me give you some very sound like you got a lot of stuff going on, ma'am. And I don't want to touch the mental health part because that's not my that's not my wheelhouse. But um his family is in Cleveland, right?
>> Yeah.
>> You move. Problem solved.
>> That's what my therapist said.
>> Problem solved.
>> But the question is, does he want to marry you?
>> Yeah.
>> Has he proposed to you?
>> No, because I keep I don't want to get married. I've been telling him that since we were together.
>> Oh, okay.
>> Um, I mean, I'm glad I called in. I'm not hearing what I was expecting to hear. Um, but it's the truth and I was afraid of walking away from an 8-year long relationship.
>> Well, you can walk, man. You can walk. You going to walk, you going to walk directly off a plank. You're going to walk directly up. I mean, I gotta be honest, ma'am. And I mean no disrespect, but you're no prize. I mean, the the mental health things already are problematic enough. If you saw the reaction people had in the comment section yesterday, it's a 50-50 shot whether somebody in the black America would even be willing to deal with that, much less with eight years. And you're pushing him off. You're playing this one all wrong, worrying about his family and everything else. You honestly feel it sounds like you You got you got very lucky early on. Again, you have no you have no work skills. Your high you you're you're a step. Okay. The difference between what you do and what an illegal immigrant would do in this country is nothing. and you've had eight years to improve yourself from a skill standpoint and you haven't. There's no excuse for that.
>> Well, okay, I get it.
>> Stop watching Level Up channels. stop watching all the other things to make you think you can do better cuz I don't understand why so many of our sisters feel like they Perfect first call though. Thank you.
>> All right. Thank you. Bye.
>> Uh yeah, see this is the D just like I said last night, the danger of some of these red pill spaces catching young guys. See, a lot of these level up channels catch women like her. How many women have you guys heard on my channel who are average at and thinking, "Well, I'll just throw this away and I'll go I can go do better." No, it's a start. And I would tell you this listening No, no, she's not a troll. I could read that woman's eyes. Here's the thing I would tell you ladies, read listening to what other women have to say, may make you feel better, but you need to listen to what men have to say in these regards because women may soothe your feelings. Men are going to help you navigate the situation to a better outcome. See that woman calling into the right female, the right female would tell her, "Yeah, they would focus all on her family, all on her f, all on his family's problems." And they would, her therapist already told her to move. And again, what did I say? You graduated 18 years, six years, eight years ago. You got no skills. There's no excuse for that. you're going to need somebody else to live with in life because you can't make enough to really live on your own. I don't think we really understand what uh this uh pandemic combined with automation is going to do to unskilled workers in this world. I don't think we really get that.
Hello.
>> Hello. Can you hear me?
>> I can. How are you?
>> I'm good. How are you?
>> Good. How old are you?
>> I'm 25.
>> Okay. Uh, did you know anything about Coochie Credit?
>> Um, prior to this? No, I've never heard of Coochie Credit.
>> Shout out to Don May said, "Don't forget the Panda Walkers." That's right. The Panda Walkers Afro Circus.
>> See, you got all kind of panda bears that are coming back as walkers. But see, you got two panda bears that are going to start doing collaborations together. Guarantee. How many times do you think my name's going to come up in that collaboration? That's okay. Men over here got dragon glass for that ass to get them degreed walkers and them weed walkers up off of you. Go ahead. How you doing? Are you sitting there smoking? So, are you a man or is that a woman? Hey, uh, Chelsea, how are you doing?
>> I'm good. How are you?
>> I'm good. All right. So, what do you got for me?
>> Well, I kind of just wanted to ask a question because I know you were talking about coochie credit and things like that. So, if
>> I wanted to ask you a question.
>> Sure. Go ahead. I mean, that's what we're here for. So, I know you were talking about coochie credit and like taking and taking guys like out of the friend zone or anything like that. So, if you have to have a a coochie credit, realistically, women are not going to like give themselves up on the first, second, or third date, especially if you're not feeling that type of like intimacy. So, what would you say is like a good I guess time frame
>> to give up credit? So when you say realistically women aren't going to give themselves up, you presume that you have bargaining power and time.
>> Not even um bargaining power.
>> Well, no, no, no, no, man. I need I need you to listen. What I'm Cuz I see I get what you're saying,
>> but what you're still doing is you're applying more value to you than him. When sex happens, do you have an opportunity to orgasm? Um yeah.
>> So sex is mutually beneficial. That the way we talk about sex as though men are getting something and women are giving something. No, you're both getting something. Well, I guess from the frame the from um the point of frame that I'm talking about is just if you're meeting someone, you're just starting to get into the the kind of the boyfriend girlfriend experience role that you were speaking on.
>> Okay.
>> What if you're just really he's not giving that type of like energy that like sexual energy that would turn you on? Like what would be an appropriate time frame for a woman?
>> Okay. Well, so you're mixing concepts. I'm talking about the coo. I'm talking about a man you've you gone out with a couple of three times and you put him in the friend zone. Sound like you're talking about somebody you're just meeting for the first time.
>> Okay.
>> What are we talking about? Cuz I want to be Give me the scenario.
>> I guess the scenario would be like um say you like you said you've known a guy for probably like six, seven years.
>> Uh you always known that he was interested in you, but you
>> but you put him in the friend zone.
>> I was in a committed relationship for eight years. So yeah, everybody was in the friend zone.
>> Okay. But you're in a committed relationship. How are you interacting with this guy? If you had a if you had a committed relationship.
>> Well, when I was in a committed relationship, it would just be friendly. Like we would go out.
>> You shouldn't. That's the point. That's wrong. See right there. You took See, you ladies need to understand when you take a man's time, it's like taking our money. We want something for that. You were in you were you were going out with him as a friend and you were going home and sleeping with your boyfriend. You know that's wrong. If you have you ladies think you can have boyfriends and male friends. We don't like you like that. And y'all know this. So this is why I say they come on here acting game goofy. And that's why I said winter is here. These little games won't work anymore. So, if you don't want to play the game, what is the time frame?
>> What do you mean don't play the game? The game the re the why the reason y'all in such a jacked up position is because y'all played too many games. That's the problem. That's why y'all got to go through all this cuz y'all played too many games. You broke the sit. You broke the deal. You were in eightear relationship, right?
>> Mhm.
>> You should have married that man. And when you in an 8-year committed relationship, you should not have been speaking to any other man that you were not related to. Look, and I know some people are going to have some push back with that, but Kevin is honestly right, right? Because you have to understand what a lot of a lot of women like to do in this situation is they want to have a man for everything. All right? If there's no way that this man took her out on multiple dates as a friend and he didn't cover the bill, not possible. How many by raise of hands, guys, in the comments, how many times, let's say out of 10, do you believe that she covered the whole bill? If you say less than two, that's a problem. And that just goes to show that they just have different men for different little things and oh yeah, it's harmless. you know, we're not doing anything, but you know that man wants to sleep with you. You know, he wants more, but you'll you'll tell your boyfriend that he's just a friend, just a male friend, and have him taking you out on dates. Of course, you didn't marry the first man. He he probably didn't like that at all. Going damn sure not talk up on going out. That's what should have happened. Why didn't you marry the eight-year relationship guy?
>> Um, it just he wasn't progressing at the time that I needed him to progress.
>> In year one or year eight?
>> I'm sorry.
>> In year one or year eight?
>> Year eight.
>> So, what about year one through six? You still got to admit why you didn't marry him those years?
>> Because I was 17, 16.
>> See,
>> remember I'm 25. We was dating.
>> I know you're 25, but see, but you put you put your eight-year relationship out there. Okay. Mhm.
>> Did he want to marry you?
>> Um, at the end.
>> At the end. In year in what year?
>> Eight.
>> All right, let's play it your way.
>> Oh.
>> Why were you in a committed relationship? Cuz that's the problem. You say a committed relationship.
>> Mhm.
>> Why are you in a committed relationship for eight years? Relationships end. They're supposed to end. either you're going to take it to the next level or it need to stop.
>> I think that's definitely something that I recognize at the end of it when you're you're going through it, you don't realize you've been you just one day.
>> So what men So unfortunately whether you intended or not,
>> a man hears a woman who's been in an eight-year relationship and did not progress to marriage. That's a red flag to men. We're like something's wrong with her. There's a game here. Then you talk about having male friends. You actually went out to you actually went out with your male friends. No, I'm not judging you, man. But you went out with them.
>> I guess the the I'm from New York, so the the dynamic
>> I don't care, ma'am. I don't know. From New York [ __ ] to me. I'll be in New York in the morning.
>> Ma'am, did you pay? Did you pay?
>> Don't play with me, you little girl. Cuz I'm trying to be cool with you. Don't play with me. Did you pay?
>> Um, a few times. I did.
>> No. If it was a female, you'd have paid every time.
>> Yep.
>> If it was a female, y'all have split the damn bill.
>> Yep. That is very true. That's exactly what I said earlier. Now, I want to see I want to see if Kevin actually give her a um ask her a question about a number. Out of 10 times, how many did you pay? Guaranteed less than two.
>> You'd have paid for her your Cosmo. She'd have paid for her wine. You'd have even split the damn Uber. Well, when it was a man, you could still use coochie credit. You got you got coochie bills due out there, girl.
>> So, in your analogy, if me and him started to progress to something, I automatically owe him coochie.
>> You already in the debt to him.
>> For$55 dinner at at Felipe, I'm in debt.
>> $55. Yes. Cuz if it was a woman, would you owe her any money? Would you owe her anything? Again, the the situation is different. Me and my
>> No, it's not. No, it's not. See, that's the problem. 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>> So, I have a question. Um, I am sing well a baby mama.
>> Okay.
>> Um, I am just I'm nervous. Sorry.
>> That's all right.
>> I guess I guess I want to know how do I increase my value? I'm not necessarily looking for a high value men. I am
>> My daughter is nine. Uh, what does her father do for a living?
>> Her father is in the military.
>> He say what?
>> In the military.
>> He's in the military.
>> Yes.
>> Okay. What's his uh what's his rank or what what is I mean?
>> What's his rank? Um E5.
>> Okay. So, you have a And what do you do for a living?
>> I'm a nurse.
>> All right. So I did a program talking about the kind of women high value men avoid and nurses and then women who were married to former police or military.
>> Huh?
>> I'mma tell you why I said that because
>> you want to know how you can raise your value or what or what your value is on the market.
>> I guess my question is this. Um let me try to word it correctly. I'm so nervous cuz I just started watching your show for like
>> Don't be nervous. I mean, just as long as you're fine.
>> This is the fourth show and I never thought I would call cuz like I'm kind of scared of you.
>> But I caught myself calling today.
>> She froze up.
>> Dating.
>> Okay.
>> I'm in a relationship with someone and marriage is what I want.
>> Okay. And I do know like because I have a child and he doesn't have a child, I know how that could affect the relationship and when you were talking about how guys think.
>> So I need you to get So you're you're dating a guy. You want to get married?
>> I want to I want us get married, but I
>> Okay. Do you want to get married or do you want to marry him?
>> Having a child, is that going to affect it? We talk about
>> Okay. Stop. Stop. Stop. You keep you keep pausing out. I need to understand. Do you want to Let me Let me do this. Let me stop your video cuz maybe that's the problem. Do you want You want to get married or you want to marry him?
>> I want to get married and I want to marry him.
>> How long have you been dating him?
>> Um two years and a half. Well, it's more than a half. It'll be three years next month.
>> All right, he doesn't want to marry you.
>> Is that what you're getting or is that what you're asking?
>> No, I'm telling you he doesn't want to marry you. Okay. Why do you feel that way?
>> Uh, you're a baby mama.
>> Okay.
>> All right. And he been dating a baby mama for two and a half years. Has he proposed to you?
>> No, sir.
>> Then he doesn't want to marry you. It's a real simple calculus. Men know going in whether or not they want to marry the woman they're dealing with.
>> Wow. I mean, listen, Kevin very pragmatic again, right? See, and a lot of women have like a discrepancy with his approach, but all he really did was keep it simple. See, with with men, we know who we want to date, who we would marry, and who we would not. It's literally a wife, and everything else. Those are the two categories. So what Kevin is saying is most men know what they want. Unless you're dealing with a child, some little boy, if you're dealing with any man, he knows what he wants and he's not going to go in there BSing with you. So it's either he's BSing with you or you know or or you're not it or he's going to take you serious.
>> You want to marry him because you got two and a half years in it and your kid knows them and it just makes it easier. But you didn't require marriage for two and a half years of your time.
>> I did, but um
>> No, you didn't. You did not require marriage for two and a half years of your time with him. So, you're afraid to try to push for marriage because you know just like I do, he's going to end up stepping it. If you push for marriage, this is what's going to happen. He's going to be out. That's what's going to happen. As soon as you push a marriage, he's going to say, "Nope."
>> Okay. Um, why do you
feel that way though?
Because I'm a man and I know men.
Okay. So, ma'am, if he wanted to Okay, ma'am. If he wanted to marry you, what's stopping him?
That's what I'm saying. I mean, I don't feel as if I don't know if anything is stopping him. Yeah. I just know him working.
There is something that's stopping him. He doesn't want to.
Why is it this so hard for you ladies to understand that men know if a woman is a marrying type or or or or a side chick or a girlfriend if he wanted he is single with no children. Why would he want to marry you if he's had you for two and a half years? He's not proposed to you. Has he talked about marrying you?
Yeah, that's the thing. We talked about it.
How long ago?
We've talked We just both finished school. That's the thing about it, too. We were both pursuing, right? Right. School. School. So, so when you're in school, you can't get married. You know, there's a more there's a there's a law in the United States that says people in school cannot get married. I just didn't want How old are you? I mean,
I'm 28.
Ma'am, you don't like the answer, but in your heart, you know what's true.
You bring up.
So, what should I do?
Uh, well, I'm sorry, ma'am, but if you want to get married, this is a dead end relationship. There's nothing stopping a man. Okay, so tell me how this couldn't happen. Six months into the relationship, he could have went down and bought a little silver wedding ring and said, "Hey, f, I want to marry you and I want your child to be my my child. I want to marry you and I want to adopt your child." Now, we're both in school. We both ain't got no money, but do you have an apartment?
Yes, sir.
Does he have an apartment?
Yes, sir. So, you see how you could have saved money right off the bat two years ago if you just would have got married and moved forward if he really wanted to marry you. That rent that he would have saved or you would have saved, let's just call it $700, which is more than that, but we're going to call it $700. That's $8,400 in rent a year. That's 16,000 almost $17,000 in rent saved alone in your two years. That's how men think. You would have saved around $20,000. If he really wanted to marry you, he could have married you years ago while you were in school struggling. We don't want to marry you, lady. And I know you don't want to hear this, but you didn't make it a requirement.
Okay, I'll I well without going into I'll take that. So, I guess what advice would you give um a person like me that wants marriage and um I guess it's not
Well, why didn't you marry your baby?
That's the first thing I started. Why didn't you marry him?
Um I would love to have married him cuz I would have loved to have my family together.
Why didn't you marry him?
He he proposed. Um, but I don't know if it was like the cultural difference.
Hold on, hold on, hold on. He proposed. He got on one knee, presented to
Yes, sir.
and proposed to you.
Yes, sir.
And you turned him down?
No, sir.
You accepted?
Yes, sir.
And then why aren't you married?
Um, and then his mother didn't want him to get married to me. So you married So you had a baby for a [ __ ]
Yes, sir.
So were you already did you already have a child by the time he proposed?
Yes, sir. We had our child first. I Well,
he's older than me.
Stop.
Mhm.
How much older?
Five years.
So a man who's 5 years older than you, you got y'all got pregnant. You had a child. He proposed to you. You accepted. Who broke off the engagement?
I did.
All righty then. Case closed. Kevin's like, "Yeah, let's get to the truth. Stop playing with me." But look, it's ironic, right? Because again, you could at least see the example of Kevin holding even a man accountable. Someone that has to sit there and listen to their family and their mother and decide on and and let that be the the deciding factor on whether they should get married to the woman they chose or not is exactly what Kevin said he is. So again, you know, checkmate. Good point. But she broke it off. Ain't that ironic? You broke off the engagement. He didn't. So I don't want to hear [ __ ] about his mother or anything else. You left. You left. I don't want to hear [ __ ] about his mother. You left. You blaming it on his mother in the culture and other people will hear that. I'm a man. I don't bl I don't buy that [ __ ] You left. He proposed to you. He did what he was supposed to do. You ended it.
Okay. So, I guess maybe I should say he ended it if that's the case because I had to accept
I had to accept what he was saying at that moment.
Exactly. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop.
He He wanted to marry you, right? He proposed to you. You already had the child. Right.
Yes, sir.
Then uh so since you want to do this, let's do it. You already had the kid. He proposed. You accepted, but you didn't get married because you had to accept what
you're tough.
No, I'm real. You left your baby daddy. You left your fiance for what reason?
He left me basically. He He wasn't It's nothing that I could really explain over the Zoom, but it's all right.
Ma'am, you bounced between you left and he left. At the end of the day, who ended the engagement? He said, um, my mother doesn't feel like I my mom doesn't feel like I should marry some you. She wants me to marry somebody the family wants. So, I just took that as if, okay, then apparently you guys don't want me. So, I just kind of sat back. I still was trying to pursue my family and everything, you know, but at the same time, I can't do what you're not doing. Like, he was military. He was never here when he came in town. He was with his mother. He He's a great father. He comes get her. Unfortunately, ma'am, I I have to break it to you. You know, this is why you don't get this is why you don't have a child before you get married.
I know. And I
Well, I'm sorry, ma'am. And here's the thing. I get it. But again, the tears, I understand them, but the
really like
No, ma'am. I need you to understand because you said I'm tough, but it sounds to me as though you don't want to hear, but but it sounds like you need some of this because you live in a fantasy land.
You're not married. Listen, ma'am. I'mma mute you. You're not married to your baby daddy and you in a two and a half year relationship with a guy who doesn't want to marry you. Maybe tough is what you need. Man, Kevin is a thousand% right. This is exactly what she needs. But imagine that the truth hurts so much that she considers that to be tough. Come on. accountability just like kryptonite to a lot of these women here. I'm sorry the men don't get to cry about our mistakes. You're a grown woman. You're not underprivileged. You didn't get pregnant at 13. You were in your 20s. got pregnant to a mama's boy and you knew he was a mama's boy before you got pregnant and because he tried to do this and he said, "Well, mama don't want you this." Look, I don't care how you slice it. That's the legacy of your your kid. And you wonder why the guy you're with is saying, "See, you ladies don't want to hear the truth. You want people to say, "Well, it's okay, sis. It's it's all right. Bad man. Bad man. Your baby daddy's a bad man. Your boyfriend's a bad man. And you're totally innocent and all this. Your feelings are got hurt. And it doesn't matter." And then as soon as you start crying, guys are supposed to say, "Well, uh uh well, no, queen. No, I'm not. That's not me. No. You're a grown ass educated woman and you decided to make a bad decision having a child before you got married and you're in this country. I'm in this country. You know that's a horrible way to do things. You're not a high school dropout. You're not a freaking orphan. You're a college educated woman. You should have known better. And because you didn't, I get it. But you don't go ahead and compound stuff by acting like you don't know any better and then going and get into another relationship with a guy who may have thought you were a great person, but you've been with him for 20, 30 months and there's nothing stopping him from proposing to you. He doesn't want to marry you either. So instead of sitting back saying, "You're tough. You're tough." You need to ask, "Why am I dealing with men who don't want to marry me and I continue to linger on and try to make it become something that it never was? So if that's tough, call me tough. Go ahead. Oh, thank you.
To the next caller.
Hey.
Hello.
Man, what episode? I want to know what you guys have to say about this. Leave your thoughts and opinions in the comment section down below. Do you think this is the message she needed or did Kevin's approach need to be different? You guys should already know what side I'm on, but I'm going to let you guys decide. Make sure you guys like and subscribe if you guys haven't already, and turn on post notifications. And I will see you guys in the next video. Peace.