Transcription
Do not be so in touch with your emotions, and I'm going to tell you why. And yes, you should compare yourself to other people, and I'm going to tell you why. This video goes basically against everything that people tell you in the modern world. The modern world's lost, so don't listen too closely to society, 'cause society will tell you the secret is if we were all more in touch with our emotions, and you know, if we were all connected, and if we didn't compare ourselves to anybody.
I had a dude come on my [show]. "I don't need to compare myself to anybody else." Yes, you do. So here's the simple reason why you do. I did a video called, "If you never been to hell, you won't be able to appreciate heaven on Earth." Meaning, if you don't have horrible things happen to you, it's hard to appreciate when things go well. That's why a rich kid usually goes into rehab, 'cause when they always had heaven on Earth growing up and all the money that they had, they had no what's called contrast bias. They couldn't compare themselves to a time when they were poor, so it just felt like, it just felt like this is how life is supposed to be.
I was in Beverly Hills, and there was a kid, my next-door neighbor, and he said he was depressed. And I said, "Why?" And he said, "'Cause all the other kids at 16 got a Ferrari, and he only got a BMW." And I was wanted to say to him, "Bro, you're too in touch with your feelings. Like, your feelings are spinning out of control." Making 'cause the world, modern psychology says, "Oh yeah, let him experience the grieving." What grieving? You have a BMW. It doesn't matter that you didn't get a Ferrari. It's probably good you didn't get a Ferrari. But then when you finally work for it and you get a Ferrari, you can appreciate the heaven on Earth 'cause you went through hell to get it.
But I'll tell you even a better story. I was telling somebody this. I'm in Helsinki, Finland, traveling here. This hotel room, it's a cool hotel. It's like all this old-fashioned Finnish furniture and stuff. And, um, so I was in Utah, and I, and I took, there was a homeless guy. And I like to try to help out when I can, you know. And this guy, he noticed he had cataracts in his eyes and he was going blind. And he wasn't that old. He was like, I would guess between, it's hard to know. They've been through tough lives, a lot of those people. So I'd say he was between 35 and 45. But his eyes, you could see like almost like scab scales growing over him, you know.
And so I started talking to him. He's like, "Hey, do you have any money?" And I said, "Hey man, could I like buy you something versus just giving you money? Just so in case, sometimes people [use it for] drugs." He's like, "I'm really hungry." I said, "Hey, let's go down to eat." And the only place there was, like a Starbucks. I said, "Let's go to Starbucks." We go to Starbucks. He, I like, "Tell me your story. How'd you get here?" As a black guy in Utah, there aren't many black people in Utah to start with. Plus, he'd obviously been through this tough life. And he was telling me how, you know, he doesn't have any healthcare, doesn't really qualify obviously. And the free healthcare they get, they're kind of ignoring these cataracts for, you know, a lot of people can't afford what they need in healthcare in America.
So I go a little deeper. Like, "How'd you end up here?" He's like, "Well, I was born in Houston, Texas." Tied. And I was, um, a foster kid. I was adopted. I was in the whole system, you know. Parents rejected him. And at, he told me around age five, he got sent to a family in Utah. He's the only black guy in this white family, you know. And so he was telling me, he said, "Yeah." I said, "What was the reason your parents gave you up, your real parents?" And he's like, "Well, they were alcoholics." I said, "Oh man, my dad was an alcoholic too, you know." And he goes, "Oh, really? Did you used to get chained up too?" Or he said, "No." He said, "Like, oh, you know what it's like to get chained up too?" And I was like, "Chained up? What?"
So I just started going a little deeper. He goes, "Yeah, the way that I got put in the foster, you know, I was an orphan in the foster system is that finally at age five, somebody heard me screaming and came and saw that my parents, whenever they would drink alcohol, they would chain me to a chair 'cause they couldn't afford a babysitter and they would go off and drink and they would get so drunk they would leave them there for eight hours, you know, six hours, four hours as a little kid." And he said, "It started as soon as you remember, age one or two." And finally, I guess his parents would put him back like in a closet or something so nobody could hear him screaming. And then finally, somebody, I don't, you know, miraculously, somebody heard him screaming. And he showed me like he had like weird marks on, like he said he basically lost some function in his arms. Most of it had come back by the time a few years later.
But and I was thinking, "Oh, it's good that like I had an alcoholic dad and I could spin out of control and get so in touch with my emotions that I'm like, 'Oh, who was me? My dad was an alcoholic.'" And I didn't, you just make excuses for the rest of your life. I'm glad for the rest of my life I'm like, "Well, my dad was an alcoholic, but my dad didn't chain me up." You can't experience heaven until you know what hell could have been like.
So the reason I'm saying don't be so in touch with your emotions, I'm not saying you shouldn't connect with your emotions. I'm just saying keep it in perspective by comparing yourself. I'm not saying you should never, more, like I probably should look back, but I don't know exactly what it does. But I should probably look back and go, "You know what, Ty? You lost out on a great experience." You know, my dad went to prison and when he was out, he was an alcoholic. But you know what I did? Instead of being super in my feelings, is I just, I found mentors. They were like father figures to me. When I graduated high school, Joel Salatin, right after you, 18, around right around 18 years old, I found a good father. He just wasn't my flesh and blood father. I went out and found somebody. So I knew what it was like to not, not really have a good father figure. So I went, as soon as I was free enough, you know, I was out of stupid high school and all this stuff that locks teenagers in, I went and found Joel Salatin and lived on his farm for two years. You know, that was my first father figure. Then I went and lived with the Amish for two and a half years. Guy named Sam Chupp. The most stable father figures in the world. Amish, you know, is the nicest guy. I was just, just doing a barn raising last month that I bought a farm near them, even now.
So because I compared myself, and that wasn't the first time where people had it worse than me, I was never so in my feelings that I was just destroyed. I met this guy, I'm not going to say his name, he might be listening. And I start as an entrepreneur, he probably makes about $3 million a year. And we got again talking, and he's a real emotional dude. And he says to me, he says, "Ty, I'm mad my dad walked out of my life and left my mom at age five." And he goes, "You know, I'm still mad every day." This is a grown man, he's like 30 years old. I said, "Bro, you, you got to stop. You're too in touch with your emotions. Enough is enough." You know, I need to get this guy to sit down and have dinner with this homeless guy who was chained up. I'm like, "Okay, so your mom and dad got divorced, your dad walked out and probably went on and built a new family. Okay, whoop-de-doo. What am I going to be? I'm going to be tough right now." That's what I told him. I said, "It's enough already."
I like what Charlie Munger says. "When things bad happen to you, think about them for three days. Cry, weep, and then move on and repress the rest of the feelings again." Totally counterculture what many psychologists say. But not all psychologists. Repression at times is important. Not all times. You shouldn't repress everything all the time. But there's no evidence. In fact, all the evidence is that the human brain is built with some capacity for repression. Think about it. Why is it so common that we repress? 'Cause there's some, what's called an evolutionary functionality or adaptive benefit.
This guy that was 30, this guy, he came out of my farm. Virginia. I said, "Dude, enough is enough. Lots of people don't have dads. And you know, a lot of dads died in war or died, died in the 1300s. There were several bubonic plagues in the world. I think one was in the 1300s, 1200s. Another one was in the 1500s. Rats had these little mites, you know, mites or lice on them that spread this bubonic plague. Everybody died. Whole villages. You'd have one out of three or four people live." So when you compare yourself, this guy's dad was still alive. He could go look him up and hang out with him. He was acting like he lived through the bubonic plague. This, it's okay, man.
I was just reading the story of Cortez. And you know, Cortez is the conquistador who went to the Aztecs in Mexico and conquered them. He had like 16 horses and a couple hundred men. And he killed Moctezuma, who had this huge, multi-million person Aztec, you know, civilization. Kind of a bloody story. Although the Aztecs were no saints either. They loved to, you know, they would torture babies, uh, because they believed the tears of babies would bring rain. And Aztecs would demand human ritual sacrifices. And they would basically put people's hearts out while they were still alive. So Cortez had his tough life, and so did the Aztecs. And so we live in the modern world, and people are butt-hurt over everything. They're like, "Oh, I was married and divorced and it didn't work out." Okay. Was your heart ripped out by an Aztec demanding that your village give forth, you know, innocent victims to offer up to the gods?
They might say, "Ty, this is ridiculous." Is it really? Or is it ridiculous to forget that you live in a world that is rough? If you're religious, let's say you're a Western religion like Christianity or Islam or Judaism, well then you believe in this like dichotomy. Like there's a devil and there's a God, and there's a dark path. And so it's not surprising to you that bad things happen 'cause you believe in the devil. If you're an atheist, then you're more like Civilization Patient Discontent. There's three reasons humans are unhappy: the death and dissolution of the body. We all get older, everything stops working eventually. Everybody dies of heart failure. 100% of people. 100 billion people have come and gone. Number two, forces of nature. Big hurricanes come, kill people, tornadoes. And then betrayal of other humans. These are all normal.
See, there's a big difference between you, you get all in your feelings when you think stuff's not normal. Men and women have had, you know, I know men that are so angry at women. Why? "Well, I dated this woman and she ruined my life." Did she really ruin your life? You're still here, dude. Or are you ruining your own life by thinking about it endlessly, endlessly? Move on. You need to follow. You know, there was a guy who one wrote what I think is one of the greatest books ever written. Many people do. It's called *All Quiet on the Western Front*. His name was Erich Maria Remarque. He was a German soldier who lived through World War I. He wrote a book and it became one of, some people say the greatest book of the last, you know, 100 years. Depends who you ask. But *All Quiet on the Western Front*. I saw Netflix or something just did a movie on it. But he said, "There is much too little forgetting. You only grow old through your memories."
See, little kids fall down and just get back up because they're not so into their emotions. They don't psychoanalyze. "Phil and Susie pushed me off the monkey bars, and maybe that means I'm an ugly person or maybe that means why..." And I saw even supposedly smart people. I watched, who did I see on social media? I lost a little bit of respect for this person. And they were so butt-hurt. Oh, now this will really be controversial. Shouldn't say I lost respect. But Robin Williams. Okay, everybody loves Robin Williams. I also love Robin Williams. But I don't agree with this talk that I just heard. Literally. And it was going, he was angry at God. And he was like, "Why is the world like this?" Okay, what narcissism do we have that we suppose that God was supposed to do stuff exactly in our own benefit? You know what I always find funny? People are always angry about injustice *to them*. Are you angry about the millions of people right now for sure who are falsely imprisoned? Are you taking any time out of your day for them? No. What you mean is you're angry that things don't work out for you. You ain't angry about the injustice of the world. Now, maybe you are. Maybe you're like Muhammad Gandhi or Nelson Mandela and you're fighting for the poor. But all, every one of my friends and every human and I meet, like this dude who came to my farm and was angry about the fact that his father walked out. Life was that supposed to be? I said, "Bro, why don't you have that level of passion about all the injustices happening in your own community right now?" Now, you don't. You just have injustice about things that happen to you. That's narcissism.
There's a big difference in charitability, altruism, truly being a compassionate person, and only being compassionate to yourself. You know, why don't you do? Okay, so you didn't have a dad. Why don't you? I want to say to that guy, I didn't say it at the moment, I should have. Why don't you? You know, I became a big brother. I joined the Big Brother program. Like, if you're all mad that you didn't have a dad, then you become a dad to a whole bunch of kids. That didn't happen. If you're all mad that your relationship didn't work out, and you know that your wife left you or your husband left you, go work with people who are victims of serious, serious problems. For you know, marriages. Like they're being, there's probably someone on your block right now, guarantee you, there's some horrible domestic violence or stuff happening where people are beating up their kids. But you probably turn a blind eye 'cause it ain't really your life. You really want to get into your feelings about humanity? Do it for all of humanity, not just for yourself.
You see, we root our emotional connections in this fantasy that we're really an empathetic person. No, you're not. You're a narcissist. Narcissists are butt-hurt. That's what I said. My thing about Robin Williams. I respect the guy, very genius. Who am I to totally judge him? But for my own self, I wanted to say, "Rob, I got the solution, bro." Thought you, everybody says Robin Williams is the smartest genius ever. No, he's not. The great geniuses of history realized we're a blip. We're a pimple on the echoes of time at best. First off, there's a very good chance we are an atom inside of an atom inside of an atom. So we're like these little teeny creatures that live inside, you know, like the Russian dolls where it's like the little doll and it gets bigger and bigger and it could go on for infinity. Humans are nothing. Time is also an illusion. Most likely, many things are illusion. In fact, well, was the Nobel Prize one for two years ago? Local realism is false. That means even when you don't look at the moon, it disappears. And when you look at the moon, it renders right in front of your eyes. So at best, and this is why one thing I don't always agree with the Eastern religions, but I do agree with like Buddha, you know, desire is the root of all suffering. So you desire to have the best marriage in the world. So when it doesn't work out, you have a lot of pain. Desire that. This is a very wise thing. I'm not a Buddhist. I don't agree with all Buddhism because some desire is healthy. But I understand it. He was right. That's the greatest explanation of your sorrow. You have sorrow because you want too much. You know, you want too much. My friend is like, "No, to be happy, I [needed] the perfect dad and he could have never walked away." Why do you get that? What's the, where's the rule book? In fact, the rule book I see is the opposite, bro. And what rule book? I would have gone to Robin Williams. What rule book have you looked at the universe? You really think that God or the universe is under some requirement to make you not just Homo sapiens, but you to have a tirelessly beautiful and effortless life? I don't see that. I don't see that.
You know, one reason people should get a farm. One reason I have a farm. Humans get too into the human species. Do you care about, what about other species? You know, they call it being, uh, humanist. Too here, or you know, like racist. You're too human-focused. You can become. And that's what made Elon Musk happy. He said at age 12, very depressed. And he read a book. Books. Well, you should read more. It was called *The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy*. And it made him realize the answer for him was to realize no matter what horrible things are happening on Earth, we're just a blip in this universe. So he began to focus on space. That's why he wants to build SpaceX and go to Mars. Because he realizes, Robin Williams' friend, that's mad about Dad walking out. There's no, there's not even a guarantee that this Earth's going to make it. So a little bit less emotions.
You know, there's a reason, for example, the best way to raise a kid, scientists say, is not when the kid falls down that both parents run over and kiss the, you know. It's good when one parent does that. And humans evolved out of sexual reproduction. It creates two parents. Not all species are like that. Ferns don't do that. They're just one. They're asexual or hermaphrodites or whatever. But humans have done better because you got one parent that walks up and goes, "Oh, are you in touch with your feelings? Let's cry together." And another parent walks up and goes, "Toughen up. Stand up. Wipe off that blood and go back to play." Because welcome to the universe. These are the rules of the universe. If you get too in touch with your feelings, you get wiped out. And we live in a world now because of technology. We have so many things. Carl Marx was right. I'm not a communist, but he was damn right on one thing. Even, even Carl Marx was right on a few things. And he said the problem with capitalism would make people too rich, give them too much technology, and they'll forget to be farmers. You know, in Russia, they wanted every ready work in the land, working with your hands. The Bible says this: "Make it your ambitious to live ambition to live simple and quiet lives working with your hands." That's what the Amish do. Notice the Amish are the happiest people statistically. Jared Diamond told me that personally, the author of *Guns, Germs, and Steel*, one of the most respected scientists who won a Pulitzer Prize for his historical look on humanity. He said, "Oh, Ty, I'm up with the Amish. I studied them. They're 500% happier than mainstream society." I'm like, "I know." Because they don't give themselves so much time to contemplate. They don't have time to go to therapists all the time. Why? Because they need to go milk the cows. I was just on one of my farms with the Amish. Run my farm. We had to make hay.
So being so in touch with your feelings, you just get into this narcissistic circle that the world revolves around you. And the more you start thinking, you become like Robin Williams. You start going, "Well, the world revolves around me. And so it's not working out perfectly." They start blaming God, which is just a wacky thing to do. I, I don't, I've never quite understood the wacky belief in anger at God either. You don't believe in a God, like you're an atheist, like my grandma. I can see why she was an atheist, okay? Or you'd be like my friend who, or like the Amish who are very Christian. And whatever happens, they go, "Well, it's the will of God." That's more logical. They have tragic things happen to them. In fact, on the Amish community that I have my farm, and I lived for years, a group of the Amish, nine people went up. It's in the news right now. Took a van to go to a wedding in Wisconsin. So they drove all the way up. And they had a non-Amish driver, obviously. The Amish don't drive. And this Amish, this non-Amish driver wasn't looking and pulled out at a freeway stop. And a milk truck, so it's a truck carrying fluid milk, about 40,000 pounds, 20,000 kilos, hit, killed everybody on the van, flipped it, caught on fire. One baby, a whole family was wiped out. I think there was, I don't know, five, seven people. Father died. That one baby came out of that survived miraculously, unharmed. But all their parents killed. And you know, the Amish mourn. They do mourn for it, obviously. You should be. It was a, I'm not saying you, you should have zero emotions. That's too extreme. Over here, I'm saying societies where over here, what the Amish did, they mourned about it. But they truly believe they have this word called *gelassenheit*, which doesn't, it's a German word. It's an Amish, versus they speak Swiss German dialect, which means giving up to God. So they're not like Robin Williams. "Why would God create a universe where babies are killed by the forces of inertia?" You know? Well, that's not for you to decide, Robin. That ain't for you. If you believe in, if you're going to say the word God, then God just picks what they want to do. The force of nature.
When do you get sad that a hundred animal species go extinct every week? No, you're just thinking about yourself and how the world's outfit. It reminds me, there used to be a cartoon called *Calvin and Hobbes*. It was a story about a little boy who had a pretend tiger. And I remember Calvin Hobbes says in this, he says, "His mom says, 'Oh, you can't do this, Calvin.'" The little boy. And he says, "Why not? That's not fair." And his mom says to him, "Well, sometimes life isn't fair." And the little boy in the cartoon says, "Yeah, but I want it to be unfair in my favor." That's what Robin was. That's what my friend who was saying, "I didn't have a dad." Oh, you want the world to be perfectly fair in your favor. You don't really care that much. You're not on the forefront. You haven't started your charity called "Kids With No Fathers." No, you just care about yourself. And you're so in your feelings that you just become increasingly narcissistic. And a lot of emotion is just cleverly disguised narcissism.
Do you, you just ask yourself the sub-bullet mess. Are you as bothered by the injustice happening to you? Like my neighbor who didn't get a BMW, but I mean got a BMW but not a Ferrari at age 16 for free. He saw that as an injustice. Is that kid as concerned about that as I saw a dude going to death row in America? Insane story. The dude's on death row, he's going to be executed, even though the DNA has 100% exonerated him. That he's just a poor dude that was in the wrong place 20 years ago and somebody falsely accused him. I don't know if it was what it was, murder, or whatever. The DNA now has exonerated the dude. But whatever system it is, Arkansas or some part of America, the judge is like, "Well, it's too late. We already started." Is that 16-year-old kid going to be protesting? Is my friend who didn't have a dad, is he going to be showing up? Would Robin Williams had shown up and said, "You know, I had some injustice in my life and I don't think it was fair, so I'm not only going to protest about my injustice, but I'm going to come here and I'm going to call the governor. Hey, my name's Robin Williams." You know, or my friend, "Hey, I'm an entrepreneur. What I'm going to do is a big social media campaign and I'm going to get you, judge, and you, mayor, and you, governor, kicked out. I'm going to use all my power as a social media influencer to get you disbarred, removed." No, no, no, no. It's like Calvin and Hobbes. People just are in touch in their feelings when it benefits them. And they have no ability to keep it in perspective by comparing themselves for true injustice.
If you had been chained to a bed as a little baby, uh, you had a tough life. But you didn't have that tough a life. If somebody wants to say, "Oh, Ty's just literally canceling out people's ability to grieve." Oh, yes, I am. All right, you're right. And you'll thank me one day for it. Because I don't know if you noticed that we live in a somewhat impersonal world. So the sooner you just toughen up, put on your big boy and big woman pants, you're going to live a better life. You'll be. Or if you want to be super religious, you could be like the Amish. You could say it was the will of God that the whole van died and only one baby survived. But they adopted that baby. That baby went right into a family who's, you know, the, I think one of the brothers took it. And that baby will be raised and made sure the community will make sure that that baby lives as good a life as they can. But when that baby grows up, the Amish ain't going to lie. They're not going to say, "Ah, they're going to say your mom and dad died in a car accident." They'll all pull punches, you know. They'll still wait till the kids are appropriate age and more of an adult. But we live in a world where everything's so sensitive that all we're doing is further perpetuating narcissism. And it's going to come to a place where society will cease to function. It literally.
So people go, "Is AI a bad thing?" Like, well, maybe not. Maybe it's God's solution to a narcissistic world that you're going to need to replace it with robots that are a little more logical. Robots can be like, "I did not have that bad of a life. Yes, I did not get a BMW, a Ferrari at 16. I did get a BMW. Sounds good. Yes, my father left me at five, but I'm alive. I'm healthy." That guy complained about that as a multi-millionaire. He has family and kids. I'm like, "I want to say to that dude, grow the [expletive] up, bro." Men used to go to war. I'm here in the Nordics where the Vikings are from. You ever flown over? You want to put life in perspective? Fly to Iceland from the US over the Arctic Circle. It's the, I'll tell you enough. I'm not an easily intimidated person. In my entire life, going everywhere in the world, I've been to leopard colonies in India. I've been to the densest jungle in the world, the Darien Gap in Panama. Been with Indians and never seen anybody from the outside, still with bone air. Only time I ever been intimidated traveling, flying over the Arctic. You look down there, you go, "If this plane crashes, ain't nothing's down there." Vikings used to get in little boats made out of wood in Iceland and float through that with no GPS, no email, no FaceTime back to their families. Nine half of them would be dead every time. Some of them would come back five years later. Their wife would have married somebody else. But you know what? That's our ancestors. That's who we descend from.
So the good news that I'll wrap this up is that the good news is you have the toughness within you to handle almost anything. There's a few things that happen to people that are so painful that the brain basically splits, and you get psychotic. Embrace with reality, and you get things like schizophrenia, with all these things, PTSD responses to try to buffer your brain. But that is so rare. That is so rare. Most of us is just being overly sensitive. I'm glad for the last 40 years, you know, a little more compassion came into the culture, and we got more in touch with our being. But enough is enough. It's gone too far. Dive it back, ladies and gentlemen. Compare yourself with what it could have been. Compare yourself to your ancestors. Compare yourself to people who have true injustice. It's okay. Your girlfriend cheated on you, boyfriend cheated on you, husband cheated. I know it sucks. I'm not saying it won't be a painful moment. Do a try over it. Cry about it for three or four days, then move on. As Remarque said, "There is much too little forgetting." Literally, try to forget things. That's not repression. Repression is for another video. What I'm saying is you bring it through, you cleanse it, and it's like a car. You have an exhaust pipe out the end to get rid of it. You can't just keep circulating the pain through your body forever. I mean, you can, but have you ever met someone like that? You want to be them? No. You want a person that's a survival machine. You cleanse, you have a perpetuating ability to go through trauma, cleanse, and move on. Just like your body. Like I have this scar here. Got a big cut when I was young, cut my artery, blood shot out. 12-year-old. The scar is there, but it's healed over. And my hand is about as strong as this hand. So the body is a self-cleansing machine. Don't think your brain and emotions aren't that way too.
All right, anyway, yeah, it's 2 in the morning here. Tell me, sink's way ahead of time. So do you agree? Should we be more put? Let's do a little poll below. Leave a comment if we should be more, put the word "more" or "less" in touch with our emotions. All right, talk to you soon.