Transcription
Okay, nothing is crossing this line unless it earns its place. And so today, I want to show you something that completely changed how I look at clutter.
This glass represents our bandwidth for the day. Your emotional energy, your patience, your ability to focus. And most of us wake up thinking that our day is limited by time, but it's not. It's limited by this. Because every decision, every mess, every pile, everything that doesn't have a home takes a little sip out of your glass. And by the time you get to the things that actually matter, your kids, your work, your creativity, your relationships, sometimes the glass is almost already empty.
So when I moved into this house, I made one decision. I'm not wasting my bandwidth on stuff that doesn't matter. And that's why I put a line across every room. If something doesn't meet the rule for that space, it doesn't cross the line. So, let's start with the things that did not make the cut into my new kitchen.
So, for the kitchen, my rule is it must fit our current season or style of cooking. And right now, that is quick and easy. And so, I am not bringing in any appliances that we don't use weekly or monthly. I am not bringing in any duplicates, no extra spatulas, linens, or anything like that. I'm also not bringing in any decor. So when I look at the kitchen, I need it to function really well. And actually, that's how it is right now. And I know you could look at my kitchen and say, "That's too bare." Is that what minimalists do? They just want you to get rid of everything. But again, when I'm looking at it through the lens of how much of my bandwidth do I want to dedicate to cooking and cleaning my kitchen, I actually want to give as little as possible. So, right now, having everything cleared off, having the cabinets have plenty of breathing room where it's very easy to take stuff out and put it away, I am prioritizing that over extra decorative things or baking things or gadgets for style of cooking that I'm not doing right now.
And so, you get to decide this for yourself, but I would challenge you to ask, how much bandwidth does your kitchen take up? Because when we have extra things floating around our counters all of the time, it's making your brain work harder to do the simple tasks that you do in here every single day. And we recently went through this together in our membership community and and I showed even in my last video the hotspot that I had, but I didn't want it to stay there cuz I knew it was taking from my bandwidth. And so we worked through it together in our community uh during one of our live decluttering sessions. I also had all of the random manuals and papers and stuff that come with new appliances and new homes. And so we tackled that together as well. And so ask yourself this simple question. Does my kitchen feel easy? And if it doesn't, what stuff would you be willing to part with?
Now, we will address uh what about just in case? How do I know for sure I'm not going to use it in the future? Absolutely. We'll talk about that as well as, well, yeah, you just moved into a new house, Don. It's super easy to be protective of this. What do I do if I'm already living in my house? We have some great ideas around that as well. I just accidentally took a sip of this. Like this is my my example. I can't be drinking. I guess I can. It represents what happens throughout the day. We're going to head upstairs. I think your closet and bathroom are actually stealing so much of your bandwidth in the morning, but as long as we're passing by the dining area and the living room here, my rule is that it has to be easy. And so, nothing decorative, no area rugs, even though it might define the space easily in the living room. No extra decor, no extra flat surfaces. I'll probably add a little something to the walls eventually, but I am really hesitant to introduce any new flat surfaces. And you've probably noticed, too, I don't even have decorative throw pillows in here right now. Just the ones that came with the couch. I need it to be so easy right now. And I think there's a lot of wisdom in matching our bandwidth with our current season of life. And right now, I can stay on top of things, but I'm right on the edge of being able to stay on top of things. And so I don't want to dedicate anything extra out of here to picking up and cleaning my house. I simply don't. And so there's so much wisdom in matching the inventory in your home with the amount of bandwidth that you have right now. Oh, and just so you know, we made everything in this video into a checklist that you can download below.
Okay, for this next space, your master closet. I think you're inadvertently giving away way too much bandwidth first thing in the morning to getting dressed. And so my rule for my master closet is everything in there must fit and feel good. Everything must fit my today body and it must feel good. It also must fit my current season of life. And so I know many of us have uh clothing that's too big, too small, or for a different season of life where we dressed up more, we dressed up less. And our closet does not reflect the current season that we're in. And when we're constantly having to sift through extra clothing that fits, that doesn't. Ooh, today I'm not feeling so slim, so that's not an option for today. When we are constantly having to sift through that, we are giving up precious bandwidth and energy. However, for me, when I walk up to my closet, I literally can throw anything on and go out the door. It is not taking hardly anything out of my glass for the day. And so, it's kind of funny. Corbin and I are working on putting together uh this IKEA closet organizer. I'm like, Corbin, this is ridiculous. I'm going to fill up like one section of it. I'm putting the whole thing in because it otherwise I don't know. It seems like a waste of space or or whatever. Uh I think it's going to look beautiful. I don't need it. Why? Because again, I don't I'm not willing to give anything extra out of here to my clothing. So, this is the why. This is the rule. And if you will try this out, I think you're going to notice big gains in your glass in the morning as well.
And now, as we shift gears to my rules for the bathroom, uh I know what you might be thinking though. Well, Don, you just moved into a new house. If I had that kind of fresh start, that would be super easy. I I've been really grateful I didn't have to just in one weekend move everything out of my parents house and move it in here. We've gotten to slow roll, see what we need, test things out. And so, I've been really grateful for that. We're we're getting to test drive living with even less than I've ever lived with before. However, you still have something really important, and that's data. You have past data to work with, and we can run these same rules through the current stuff living in our home. Is it being used in my current season of life? Does it fit? And do I feel good in it? And for the bathroom, I actually did a whole video on this recently, so you can check that out. Do I use it daily, weekly, or monthly? So, that is my rule for the bathroom. I have to use it daily, weekly, or monthly. And if not, I'm either going to let it go or I'm going to time test it. And so, in that video, I shared my favorite tactic for getting rid of stuff that is hard that we're emotionally connected to, that we spent money on. And that's using a time will tell bin. And it is so powerful. And I loved reading all the comments on there from those of you here like, "It works. It works. It actually works." It does work. And if you will start to draw these same lines in your own house, you are going to create a house that's easy and that is not draining your bandwidth because again, we have better places to put our energy. I lost my cup. It's in the bathroom. All right, I'm going to grab my glass. We're going to head to the boys' room.
All right, we're going to talk about kids bedrooms. But like I said before, you know, a full glass is on a good day. on a good week, on a good stretch of days, right? And that's wonderful. And a lot of times then we can get by with a little more inventory. But what about when you're starting the day with just a fraction in your glass? When it feels like life has just kicked you when you're already down. Again, that's where I think there's so much wisdom in matching the inventory in our house with our current amount of bandwidth. If you're caring for loved ones, you're helping others navigate hard things, you're navigating hard things. It is amazing how much that takes from our glass, leaving us with very little to maintain our homes. And that's when we turn on ourselves. I'm lazy. I'm unorganized. I should be doing this or that. Again, we can't measure our day in the hours available. We have to me measure it in the amount of emotional energy available. There's nothing wrong with you if you haven't been able to stay on top of your house in a difficult season. But again, it just is giving you a signal that we have to lower the inventory.
All right, so brings us to to kids bedrooms. This one I really want to challenge you to make sure everything in your child's bedroom matches their current age and stage. Kids change so quickly. Their sizes change and their interests change and their bedrooms can very quickly become a shrine to those previous seasons. And so as we were moving here, I actually challenged each of the kids to only bring one Rubbermaid tote with. And we showed this in our membership community, them packing up. Uh the boys actually misunderstood and thought I meant one tote for the two of them, but actually all of their stuff fit and it wasn't really that big of a deal. And something we've been practicing over the last couple years is just keeping the current stuff that they are using and enjoying and me giving them permission to let go of stuff that they're not. Even my youngest Gage, who has always been our treasure collector, very attached to all the things I've shown his treasure bins before. That was one of the tools we used when he'd get really attached to stuff. And I can explain that more in depth at the end of the video. I'll share some of my favorite tools. It's a non-issue. I have a treasure bin for him at my parents house. He has never once asked to go through it or retrieve anything from it. And so being able to move in here with just the stuff they're currently wearing, using, enjoying has given so much freedom because you know this, we got their room set up and it feels so good. It feels so good. They love it. I love it. When I walk by, it's not stressful. I want them to have that type of space to enjoy when they're here. And so I have this like prot I want to protect it. Now, how do we protect it? Well, we say we're only keeping stuff in there that fits and that we're currently enjoying and giving them permission to do so. And we're going to head downstairs to my office. But one other rule for bedroom storage is nothing toxic. I am only bringing sentimental items that bring up happy memories of times or of relationships. And so I'm not bringing anything here out of guilt or feeling like I should. And so gifts that were given to you, things that you inherited, other things that just should be sentimental. We've talked about the distinction between firsthand sentimental and secondhand sentimental more recently, and I can link to that video as well. You are allowed to curate your environment. You are allowed to make your house feel how you want it to feel. I want this house to feel happy and peaceful. I want everyone who walks in to be able to let their guard down and to just enjoy being here and not be stressed out by the messages some of this stuff is telling us. And often we don't even realize the messages that it's sending to us. And also, I want to highlight the things that are important to me. I showed those salt and pepper shakers in my kitchen. I don't know why they make me so happy. My counters are completely bare in there, but when I see those, they still make me feel happy. If it gets to a point where they don't anymore, I'll probably tuck them into a cabinet or whatever. But for now, they make me feel happy. But I can see them. I can feel that because they're not surrounded by a bunch of other stuff and there's not other things sending negative messages. But again, I'm being very intentional about it. I'm being selective. I want these things to bring up happy memories because if not, they are negatively impacting how my house feels. And I'm not doing that now. And you don't have to do that either. And it's not selfish and it's not wrong. And we can do that like we actually we can do that. But another question I want to ask you is where do you want to give your bandwidth? What is most important to you? And so for me right now it's the creative work I get to do and also the kids and my family. And uh what's funny was I called my sister and I was telling her about this idea. I'm like they want to put a line across the rooms and put my rule on it to kind of visually represent what's not going into these spaces. Why? She's like oh like your dignity line. And I'm like, "Oh, right. Yeah, wow, that's kind of good. Maybe some of you have already been uh thinking that already, right?" And I'm like, "Yeah." And that excites me. Like, I want to continue to develop these ideas. I want to continue to think of other ways to explain it and illustrate it and like plead with you to get rid of all your crap because it's going to make your life so much better and easier, right? And so, that's that's where I want to put this. I want to put it into time with my kids right now. Again, they're ages 11 through 16. And so it's super cool ages uh hard demanding. I've also been talking about the line and respect with them and I will share that in the future too how I'm framing this with kids. Um and so that takes energy, right? That's where I want to put this. And so in the morning when I come to sit down and work, I can show up with a pretty full glass ready to like really dig in and and get to work on this stuff. or if the kitchen's a mess and we didn't have anything for the kids to have for breakfast and now we're driving through something instead. They can't find their clothes. I spent 15 minutes getting dressed. I can come in here with a pretty empty glass. And so again, that's why for me, this is the why. This is the how.
And so, let's talk about what I'm not allowing into my office space. And that is open loops or things that that represent unfinished tasks. All of those things have to have a very specific home so that my brain doesn't ruminate on them. And so this is something else we've been talking about in our membership community recently talking about productivity and time management. And so David Allen, he wrote the book Getting Things Done. He has a whole system around it. And he says productivity is the ability to focus on the task at hand. And so he recommends clearing your whole workspace and only having in front of you the exact thing that you're working on at the time that you're focusing on that you can give it your full attention. And so when I look at my office, I don't want anything coming in here that is going to make it hard for me to focus. Now, we're all running a a small business that is our home, right? We have tasks and we have things to do, but those have very specific homes. And when a task is parked in a trusted system, it has a clear home and you have a system for going through it, then it's no longer looping in your brain and you can focus on the task at hand. However, when my desk is covered with tax things and uh IKEA returns and Amazon returns and other things that I have to do, then my brain, they actually call it attention residue, my my attention is fractured. It's partly on those things on my desk around me and it's partly on the task that I'm trying to focus on. And so if you want to be able to focus on something, if you want to be productive, meaning that you can complete the task efficiently, that a task that could take an hour doesn't end up taking four because you keep getting distracted. This is where setting up your space so you can focus is very important. And so again, it just comes down to how can I design this space so it's not taking anything extra out of here.
Now, what's the fear though? Okay, Don, fine. I just go through my kitchen and I get rid of everything. What if I need it someday? That's a really good question. Let's talk about that next. And thank you again for all your support and kindness and encouragement around this idea of the dignity line. I want to let you know that I've been curating and compiling and everything together, all the resources that we've been coming up with together on my website. So, the minimalom.com/theline. So, you can trust that anything and everything is going to land there. I've also put some other helpful resources that aren't my own, but that I've found helpful. And most recently, I also added a dignity line for teenagers, whether they're in dating relationships or in friendship relationships, too. So, you can find that free printable there. Everything's free. I'm trying to just keep it very neatly organized and all together so that it's easy to find. But, thank you again. I really appreciate it. And I do think uh it is kind of interesting uh when we apply this concept to everything in our house, too. Oh, man. I don't know. It's good. It's good. But I know it can be a lot too. But that's why we stick together. I just had to move these guys over here for right now because they make me happy. Oh my goodness. And I've like almost totally drank this while I'm walking around.
Now, one of the questions I'm asked most often is, "But have you missed anything that you've gotten rid of?" And I know what the question below the question is, have you made any mistakes and could you live with it? Because if we are going to declutter our home this ruthlessly, what is the risk that we run? That we could make a mistake that I could get rid of the extra kitchen gadgets and pots and pans and things for baking seasons that I'm not doing anymore and then I could get to a point in life where I get to do that again. I think for many of us, uh, if you're in a really just busy season of life right now, we would like to think that there will be a time down the road where we could pick up some of these things again. So we don't want to make a mistake or we want to keep it for just in case. And so there's two things that I want to tell you. One is about the underlying fear of this and then the second is some tools that we can use. So the first is we're never going to be able to fully remove that risk. Anytime you declutter anything in your home, there is going to be the possibility that you could use it again in the future. And so we have to look at riskreward. So, is the risk of going super far, like how far I'm I'm suggesting with my home, is that worth it for the reward? And I, again, this is where I'm going to ask you to draw on past data because if you look around your house, you have probably been keeping most things for just in case. And is that giving you any kind of peace of mind and security, or is it just draining your glass?
Now, on the other hand, I have done the opposite. I've gotten rid of all of the extra stuff and I said, "All right, I'm going to chance it. I'm going to live with the risk. And the reward has been overthe-top incredible. Even coming through the most difficult years that I've ever had to navigate before, I was so grateful for how little inventory that I had to manage. On days when I woke up with less than this in my glass, I was so grateful that I did not have so much inventory around me to manage. Because it doesn't just sit there neutral. It mocks us. It says, "Why haven't you done this?" It says, "You're lazy. You're unmotivated. you're unorganized and so it's not neutral and that was not helpful in this past season that I have been in. So for me I think we have not done proper risk analysis. We are so adverse to making a mistake that we are missing out on this reward of how awesome it feels to live in a house that is easy that I can stay on top of even with four kids ages 11 through 16 who are yes somewhat helpful but also it just still takes a lot to manage and make sure they're doing all the things right and so we have underestimated the reward of matching the inventory in your home with the current season of life that you're in. And so this is where I want to very kindly challenge you today and say, would you be willing to risk it? Would you be willing to go further than you think to see if this doesn't make your home so much easier, too? And if you don't end up with more bandwidth to put towards the things that you really want to because when we're not putting the energy into our family and the things that are important, that also makes us feel like a loser, right? So, if I have to feel like a loser, I'd rather it be because I got rid of something and I could have used it rather than I dropped the ball with my kids, right? Okay. So, are you willing to take that risk?
And we do have a few few tools though, too. And so, I've showed these recently. I will link to videos, but the time will tell bin is so important. It is so important, especially when we are a little low on bandwidth. You're like, "Okay, Don, but do you know how much decluttering takes?" I do know how much it takes. And so that's why a tool like a time will tell bin it. You don't have to make a final decision right now. So it's not going to drain your glass in the same way. We also have a craft basket. And we just went through this uh again in our membership community uh cuz I had this whole hot mess express station here, right? And I'm like, okay, now again to deal with every item there would have taken it would have drained my glass for the day. But I'm say, okay, I have a crap basket. If there's stuff I just don't know about, I'm throwing it in the crap basket, right? And I'm moving on. So, we have these tools so that if you just don't know, there's going to be some things where you're like, I absolutely just I just actually don't know if I'm going to need this or not. The best thing we can do then is contain it. So, when something is categorized and contained, it does not stress our brain out in the same way. It doesn't drain your glass. Looking at that counter with all that random mishmash was draining my glass because my brain, like I said, fragmented attention. It's looking at it. What do I have to do? What has for return? When am I going to miss the return window? But when I went through it, I got the task items out of there and onto my to-do list and then everything into a safe category. My brain now can relax when it looks at that. There were a couple to-dos on there, but I have them taken care of. They're in a trusted system now. And so there might be things we don't know what to do with. We just have to get it into a container and a category. And then our brain can be like, "Okay, that's taken care of for now. I don't have to keep looping it around and trying to remember it." So we do have tools. We do have tactics. And if you want a very safe place to practice this in and continue to do it and have support, I would invite you to check out our membership community because this is what we do every single day. All right, I am in there every single day. I have a 5-minute motivational tip video, strategy video. We do live decluttering together and every Saturday morning we have a home management class where we talk about time management, productivity, to-do list, uh managing your calendar, meal planning. Again, we when we're running a household, so much energy, so much energy goes into that unless we have really good, solid, simple systems to manage it all. And so that's what we're all about inside of our man management community. How can you maintain as much of this for the things that truly matter to you and use as little as possible for all the mundane stuff that we have to do? It's important, but isn't the most important thing.
Oh, and also one other tool, the treasure bin. with kids that are really attached to to stuff. And so my youngest is so attached. Candy wrappers, things from the dollar stores, things that were given to him. I get it when you say your kids are attached to things. So, uh, we started with one treasure bin and then we added a second one. But it was two white bins that had lids. And the only rule was that we had to be able to close it and put the lid on. Otherwise, he could keep anything that he wanted in there. And then when the lid wouldn't fit, we would dump it out and go through it. And that's actually what Adline was doing with him in this video clip. He would pick a few things to get rid of and we'd rinse and repeat. And so this is something we have been practicing with him since he was around the age of probably around six. Now he's 11. Like I said, I created a treasure bin at my parents house because I noticed there was just some little stuff piling up in his bedroom and around his desk area where he does his school work. And I just again I know that's not conducive with a peaceful environment. So, when I could tell he wasn't really using these things anymore, I would just put them into his treasure bin knowing that if he asked me for them, I'd be like, "Hey, buddy. Yep. Treasure bin. It's in the basement at Nana and Grandpa's. I'll go grab it for you." So, I wasn't letting him look in the bin, but I would retrieve something for him if he wanted. He never asked for a single thing out of there. And then I thought, "Okay, when we're packing up to move, that'll probably trigger some memories." He's also like some of your kids where they remember everything. Hey mom, remember that thing we got when we went to Chuck-E-Cheese with, you know, whatever for this birthday party and you're like, "Oh, for reals, like that little plastic thing." And so that's where I wanted to do this in a safe way, but I also wanted him to learn these skills as well. He still has yet to ask for anything out of the treasure bin from my parents house. And so I just want to encourage you that this is something that we practice, practice, practice, practice. In the beginning, we went through them, he would get rid of like three things, but it was enough at least the lids would fit on again, right? And then over time he'd get rid of a little more and now to the point where it's really a non-issue and it's not hard for him to keep his room clean. And so it's something that we practice, but we do have tools. Uh there's really nothing new under the sun when it comes to decluttering. And so we've we've heard it, we've seen it, and we have tools for it. And that's why we stick together.
All right. Well, I've really enjoyed having you over again. Thank you for stopping by. I know from the outside you'd be like, "Oh, that's too stark. It's too bare." But I want to challenge you just to go a whole lot further. And this is a challenge again we do in our membership community all the time is like clear your kitchen counters. And sometimes women will come back and be like, you know, I just need a little decor. That's totally fine because they're they're testing it out. They're trying it and then they're matching their inventory to their season of life. And so that's fine. I'm not against decor. I'm not against storage things. It's just when it's draining our glass and making our house harder that I am not about right now. So I'm going to live with bear for a while. It feels really good. And maybe over time I'll add some things back in and maybe I won't. We'll see. But I will link to those videos on bathroom declutter and sentimental stuff that I mentioned. And of course, if you haven't done so, I hope you subscribe so we can spend more time together. I love you. I hope you have a really good day and I'll see you again soon.