Transcription
Do you ever remember back to when you were young and naive? You never had a serious relationship with a woman before, and what you believed about marriage—how you thought it was all going to be like a big Hallmark movie or a Disney princess thing, and you're going to be the prince that comes in and saves it? Yeah, I, I think about that from time to time. And I think about all the poor men who are experiencing that now. I think the medical term for that is profound stupidity. And having suffered from it myself for a great deal of time, I know its impact can be long-lasting and very difficult to overcome.
So today, I want to point out some of the indications that you might be suffering from profound stupidity if you're a man, and what the delusions are that you may be believing about marriage that are obviously incorrect. So let's talk about profound stupidity and delusional beliefs about marriage.
So, in an effort to keep my video from becoming demonetized or me getting blocked from YouTube altogether, I'm going to keep the first couple of delusions pretty PG. I don't want to go too R-rated here. I think that young men believe that having a partner, a woman, is going to somehow reduce the level of stress they experience in their day-to-day life. They think that some woman is going to help them make sense of this crazy world that we live in, and everything is going to be a lot more meaningful, and, and they're just going to click into place as soon as that happens. And of course, the truth could not be further from, from that thought. And of course, that could not be further from the truth. The truth is, single men worry about normal stuff: taxes, maybe elections, uh, when to get the oil changed, whether you can really go over 5,000 miles. Married men spend a lot of time worrying about what mood their wife is in. You're walking on eggshells a lot of the time, and you're just hoping that today's the day she's in a good mood, that maybe today's the day when, uh, you're going to get lucky. But, uh, yeah, having a woman in your life does not make sense of the world; in fact, quite the opposite. You now realize that women have no insights into the world, and that, in fact, they are more afraid and confused than you ever were, and so now you spend most of your time trying to explain the world to them. Yeah. So if you're looking for someone to help you make sense of life, yeah, a woman's not going to do that for you.
Another delusion that men believe is that by having another income earner in the household, that that will allow them just a little more time to, uh, do some of the things that they enjoy, you know, like maybe, uh, take up woodworking, or, uh, to, um, build some models, or, uh, you know, maybe join a weekend sports league, that kind of stuff. Yeah, no, that's probably not the case. I mean, it's sometimes the case, but usually once you get about 10 years in, you're probably not looking at spending a ton of time doing those things that you really enjoy on your own. In fact, you may find that just getting permission to do anything on your own is going to be quite difficult, like hanging out with your buddies or going bowling, or forget about, uh, spending the night out with some friends. Yeah, all of that stuff now requires a, a special meeting that you'll be invited to. In fact, you will be both the, um, one of the participants in this meeting and the subject of the meeting, so you got to prepare yourself for it.
I remember early in my marriage thinking how lucky I was that I did not have to be out there on the dating scene again. Oh my gosh, what a relief that seemed to be. My romantic life had been simplified. Instead of having to worry about finding a woman to spend my life with or do all that other stuff, so ironically now, rather than being concerned about being in the dating pool, more often than not, my biggest romantic concern is—at least when I was married—was trying to, uh, romantically perform. After about 5 or 10 years in marriage, the idea of being relieved from being in the dating pool kind of switches up, and now you're just trying to, um, prevent yourself from fantasizing about all your old girlfriends while you're having sex with your wife. Yeah, you're trying to make sure that you're actually still attracted to her. So yeah, kind of a delusion, you know, you think that you're going to be solving one problem, but it really just creates another one altogether.
Another widely held misconception is that somehow your diet and health are going to improve as a result of being married. When you're single, obviously it's a lot of pizza and beer and chili and tacos and nachos and stuff like that. So how, how much worse could it possibly be? Well, instead of just making a decision and eating a meal, whatever that meal might be, which would be the ultimate of simplicity and completely stress-free, now meals become a, a point of conversation, let's just call it that. Who's going to eat what, when? Who's going to fix it? What, when, where are we going to go out? Are we going to stay in? You could spend 30 to 45 minutes having a conversation—a—an argument about what you're going to eat, and by the time you finally get around to what it is you're going to have and where you're going to have it and who's going to prepare it or whether you're going to go out or whatever, yeah, you're not hungry anymore. Like I have indigestion; I don't even want to think about eating now. My God. And can I go, can I just go into my room and just be alone for a while? I just don't even want to think about spending another five minutes with this woman discussing the, uh, benefits of going out versus staying in. So yeah, me, real time, you might eat healthier, you might even lose some weight potentially, especially if you have conversations like that, but you're not going to, um, you're not going to be reducing stress, and you'll probably end up with a lot of indigestion and maybe even a bleeding ulcer. So that's the trade-off.
All right, here's another one: Men believe that when they get married, life is going to get easier because they'll have someone to travel with; they'll never have to worry about where they want to go or what they want to do; they'll always have a companion to go with. Well, that's not going to be as easy as it sounds either. Just like the meal time, there's going to be a lot of conversations about any vacations that you might be willing to take or wanting to take, and I guarantee you it's all going to be about compromise. Before you know it, the only traveling you're going to want to do is to travel back in time so you can change your decision about getting married. And unfortunately, that's imposs—impossible, and it's too late for that. So you're just going to have to suck it up and go to all those princess castles that she wants to go to, and, um, and set your, you know, your, uh, adventure travel aside until you're single again.
Most single guys cannot even begin to imagine the loss of autonomy that comes with being married. They just assume that they're going to be adding something to their life, and so that's going to make things better, 'cause obviously more is better, right? And you don't think about what you might lose in this process. And one of the things that men tend to lose is their autonomy. What I mean by that is, if you make a decision that you want to go do something on your own, well, that's probably not going to happen. You're probably going to have to get permission; you're probably going to have to, um, maybe even discuss it like a week or two in advance before you, uh, venture out onto the, the wide world without your accompanying spouse. So, um, yeah, that's something that most men don't realize is going to happen to them until it's actually happened, and then, you know, it's too late. All right, so there's going to be some trade-offs. Okay, good enough. So maybe, you know, your social life has got to improve, right? I mean, you're obviously going to have this woman in your life; women are extremely social beings, so it's inevitable that your social life has got to improve because you're, you're married to her, right? Well, not necessarily so. When you're single, I mean, you can party every night if you want to; there's no limit to what you can do. But when you're married, the only partying you're going to do is when she's out of town. So you got to prepare yourself that she's going to bring with her a whole list of, uh, dos and don'ts that are going to be—you're going to be subject to—and one of them might be, you know, what substance you're allowed to use for partying. Maybe she thinks that, um, one thing or another is not socially acceptable, and you, you still enjoy it. So just prepare yourself; being married does not mean that your social life is going to get any better; in fact, if anything, especially the longer the marriage goes, the worse it's going to get. Friends are going to drop away; I mean, it just gets sad from there. So I don't want to go too far down that path, but yeah, once your friends start getting married and having babies, yeah, all, all fun comes to a screeching halt.
Another issue with the finance is when it comes to shopping and spending. Oh my God, where a man might spend twice as much to get something he needs, a woman will spend half as much for something she doesn't need. So do the math on that for a while, and you'll figure out that you're going to come out on the wrong end of this in the long run. So yeah, don't anticipate that you're going to, uh, save any money as a result of being married; at least most people don't. In fact, if anything, it's going to cost you an awful lot more. I, I got to turn the camera around; this dumb puppy is just so dumb, I don't know what he's got his head in. Do you see that? That's his body sticking out; he's got his head into some kind of a, a cave of hay, and he's eating whatever's in there, probably an old bird's nest. Oh my God, he's going deeper. Come on, pal, let's get out of there. Come on, what are you doing? What are you doing? Now you're all wrapped up in your leash. Good.
When you're single, you think that sleeping with a woman is going to be a ton of fun, um, and in the beginning it's kind of fun because it feels so, you know, kind of wrong, but it's so right, you know what I mean? So, um, especially like if you're single and you're sleeping in her bed, you know, you definitely feel like you're definitely, uh, you know, stealing something here, you know, there's a very nice feeling about it. But anyway, when that bed becomes your bed, that's when things change. First of all, women's mattresses are inevitably going to be softer than the mattress that you're used to sleeping on, so you got to prepare yourself for that. Secondly, the bedding that you're going to have is going to be quite irritating and frustrating because he's going to have more pillows on it than you thought existed on the planet. I don't know why women feel the need to put so many pillows on a bed, but they do; it is insane. Thirdly, sleeping with a woman means she's going to be wanting you to be close to her. So I can't tell you how many women I've slept with that just want me to lay there and hold them. Now maybe they just do that when they're single, 'cause my ex-wife thankfully gave up on that, but man, that there's nothing worse than trying to sleep with your body pressed up against another human being. It's just not, just not natural; it's just not meant to be that way. Like maybe like if you're an infant and I've got to hold you, I can understand that, but if you're a full-grown woman and you want me to hold you through the night, get over yourself, please. That is just, that is just not happening. I'm not here to make you feel secure in your own bed at the expense of my own sleep; that's just not going to happen. But that's what they want; they want you to be right there. Doesn't matter if your shoulders are falling asleep, if your, your fingers are turning blue, you know, you just need to lay in whatever position you need to get into in order to accommodate their comfort. And then once they've hit that position, they're going to fall asleep and start snoring, meanwhile you're wondering how can you get your arm out from underneath this woman so you can finally fall asleep without waking her up. Oh my God. And then, oh yeah, there's the, the whole push and pull thing with the covers and the temperature up and down, up and down. You don't know what temperature it needs to be at any given time, and you don't know, um, uh, whether you're going to have covers or not. So if she is extremely hot, especially as they go into menopause or premenopause, it's just insane; she wants the temperature down to like 65°. So then you need the covers, except then she needs the covers in the middle of the night 'cause now she's freezing. Yeah, it just goes from one extreme to the other. So sleeping with a woman is not that great; in fact, sleeping with these three dogs, as big as they are—I do have a king-size bed—much, much easier. You know, they just get down when they want, and when they're hot and they're cold, they jump back up, um, never wake me up unless they want to throw up, and then they, they wake me up for that, but aside from that, they're pretty easy to sleep with. Much better to get a dog than a woman.
All right, then there's the big one, you know what I'm talking about, the big sex. Yep. When you're single, you think your life is going to be full of rapturous, delicious ecstasy; you're just going to be rolling in it. Oh my God, you think that you're going to be having sex all the time 'cause that's what she likes to do. Now, when you're single, like when you're—your girlfriend—oh, she just can't keep her hands off of you, man; it's crazy. I found the perfect girl, man; all she wants to do is have sex all the time. That is the perfect girl; I got to marry this girl, right, man? You have been fooled. Women use sex like a, like a fisherman uses a rod, you know, they—she's just reeling you in one little bit at a time, until that hook is set, and she's pulling on that wire, you are done. And you think that you're getting something great, like you think that worm is for you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Now, once you get married, things are going to start slowing down in that department. You know, there's going to be chores to do; there's going to be things to do. I mean, if she wants a baby, then she'll turn it on again, but, um, yeah, if she's got anything else to do, she's going to do that rather than have sex with you. Yeah, you—it won't be—but maybe five, maybe seven years, and you're going to start wondering what ever happened to that girl that I married that just couldn't keep her hands off of me. Have I changed? No, no, no, you poor thing, she changed. And she didn't actually change; she was lying to you the whole time. Sex is a tool; it's not an emotional expression; it's not something that, you know, we've been led to believe that women, you know, express love through sex, or they feel loved through sex. Eh, maybe, maybe, but for—it's been my experience that women use sex to get what they want, and they like having fun with it too; don't get me wrong. I think a lot of women like having fun, and there are some who, on occasion, will express some level of affection, love for it, but most of the women that I have known are just looking to get their rocks off, and, um, once you're married to them for a while, they're not even interested in that; they can do that themselves; they don't even need you. So, um, yeah, sex, sex is probably not the thing to get married for.
Um, if you want to have kids, and you want to have a coworker that you might fool around with from time to time, someone that you get along with, um, someone that you can put up with, then maybe marriage is right for you. But marriage is definitely not a romantic, loving kind of thing. It's love on a different level, you know, it's love like—like you've got—sort of like a, um, a lot of people have a, a spouse at work, you know, where you got this person you work side by side with a lot, and you share a lot of personal details with them, and you trust them completely. A lot of people have that kind of experience with people they work with; it's kind of like that, except now it's at home; now it's a spouse at home, um, but not really like a, a true romantic partner or a true lover.
So single guys, I hope this is helping you out a little bit. I know that this is a very difficult time for you to hear all these truths, and I am sorry to be the one to break it to you, but, um, you're probably not going to find that most of these delusions that you hold in your head are going to come true for you. It's anytime now. I know it's going to be—everything I've said is true for everyone except you, because you've got the perfect girl, and I, I'm sure that you do. I, I'm sure of it. I'm sure that she's just sweet as pie, and she's going to give you everything that you wanted; probably give you massages, rub your feet. Oh my God, and the sex will be unreal; she fixes you meals; um, she never complains about anything; you guys agree on everything; oh, you got the same financial goals, same spiritual beliefs; you've got it all going on; she is perfect for you. Yeah, that's a delusion. Okay, and quite honestly, it's not a delusion just in your mind; it's a delusion that women like to create so that you will submit, and, um, once you're in—once you've bought into this idea that she's going to be your partner for life, and you've made your commitment, you've given it over—there's a ring, and there's an—on your knee thing, and then you're in front of God and the law and all of it, and you get everybody involved, well, now you're like that fish in a cooler. Yeah, you're not going anywhere; you are not going anywhere; you are at the mercy of whatever happens next. You might end up on the barbecue for all you know.
All right, you guys, that's all I got for you today. I certainly hope you've enjoyed the video. If you know some poor guy who's thinking about getting married, or some, some delusional young guy who's thinking that maybe this is his ticket to Paradise, please share this video with them. I think that they probably are delusional, and they're suffering from that, that terrible medical scourge that is plaguing young men everywhere in the world, um, profound stupidity, and, uh, we need to cure them of it. So help me if you can. Thanks very much. I'll see you next time. Stay healthy, and if you can, stay single.