Transcription
In the last 15 years, I've coached millions of people around the world. From students to professionals to CEOs of Fortune 500 companies to dogs. I've been training them for bloody seven years; still can't talk.
The four-step framework I'm going to teach you is the exact process I share with all of my students, no matter if they are a beginner or an expert communicator. I'm going to give you access to a free 18-page workbook, which is going to help you design a 30-day plan to put into action.
Now, before we dive in, what if I told you you already know what makes a great communicator? Let me explain. Let me prove it to you. Whenever you watch a YouTube video, or you're sitting in a meeting or listening to a speaker that's speaking on stage, your brain automatically runs through a mental checklist of what's engaging and what's not. This means you already can recognize the key behaviors of great communication, but you've just never applied them to yourself because you've never seen yourself. And let's face it, the moment most people, including you, see yourself on a video recording, immediately you say to yourself, "No, turn it off. Turn it off." Ah.
And so, the first thing you need to do is this. You're going to hate this. You need to record a 5-minute video of yourself speaking. And you need to answer one or all five of these questions impromptu. That means no planning. That just means click record and start talking. Whatever it takes to get a full 5-minute recording from you.
So, here are the five questions you need to answer: One, finish this sentence: My name is ______ and I'm recording this video to improve my communication skills because of ______. Two, what do you do in your free time? Answer it. Three, who is your best friend and why? Four, what is your favorite food and why? And five, if you could have one superpower, what would it be and why?
Now, there's going to be this temptation that pops up and surfaces right now. You're going to want to stop, restart the video, and do it again and again because you feel like, "Ah, I didn't get it perfect, Vinn." And if you do this, this whole exercise will be pointless. We want your imperfections. We want to see you as you are so we can help you get you from where you are to where you want to be. Remember, no planning, no preparing. This is done impromptu.
This next part, very important. Don't watch back the video you just recorded right away. Leave it for at least a day. We are far too self-critical. You want to give it space and time. Please trust me on this one. After 24 hours, you are more sexy looking. You are more sexy sounding. And you will also be kinder to yourself, which is the most important thing.
And here's a bonus step. I want you to write down five words that you want people to say about you when they interact with you. This will help you as you do this process. Imagine you're at a networking function and you meet a group of people for the first time and you have an incredible interaction with them. And when you walk away from that interaction, what are the five words you want them to use to describe you? I want you to take those five words and write them right here in the workbook. By the way, if you haven't downloaded the workbook yet, download it. It's going to help you immensely.
Now, let me give you my list of five words of what I hope people will say about me: Wow, Vince, so charismatic, sincere, fun, playful, confident, and credible. Great meeting you guys. Can't wait to see each other again at the next networking function. See you guys then. That guy sucks. Can you imagine working for him? Did you smell his breath? Smell like poo. Yeah, I know, right? It's because he's full of… Okay. Totally didn't know my entire team felt that way about me. Guess who's getting pay cuts.
Now listen, at this point you're ready for the next step. I want you now to grab your phone. We are going to review the video that you recorded from before. And we are going to review it in three different ways. The first way of reviewing it, hit play, turn the sound all the way up, and then turn the phone around so you can't see yourself. We are doing an auditory review. The next five minutes, I want you to just listen to your voice. I want you to take notes on what you liked and what you didn't like, what you can improve upon. Be specific here. I also want you to list down the five words from the previous day where you picked the traits you wanted people to repeat once they interacted with you. Write those down and put a tick next to it or put a big X next to it depending on whether or not you feel you radiated those qualities with your voice. Don't be overly judgmental. Don't be really mean to yourself. This is you developing more self-awareness and it's the first time you're looking into the communication mirror. It's not easy and that's all right. How you communicate right now is temporary. It's not permanent. So don't stress. Don't freak out. This process is going to help you transform. Most people in life will never go through this process. That's why the majority of people don't communicate well. And that's also why if you develop this skill set, you are going to have the ultimate competitive advantage. As the world becomes more technically advanced, this human skill becomes more and more valuable.
Okay, quick recap. At this point, you should have a list of things you want to work on when it comes to your voice. And you should also have the list of the five traits with either a tick or a cross next to it.
Onto the next part of the review. This time, put the sound on mute and then hit play. And now you're just watching yourself. This one's definitely harder than the last. This is called a visual review. Again, I want you to list the things you like and I want you to take notes on the things you want to improve upon with your body language. And I want you to write down the list of those five qualities. Yes. Again, put a tick or a cross next to them and ask yourself, do you visually communicate those values? But believe it or not, you can hear and see these qualities. I promise you, if you go through this process, you'll be flabbergasted with what you're going to learn about yourself. There are behaviors you've been exhibiting with your voice and the way you move all your life that's holding you back. I call these nonfunctional behaviors: umming and aing, fidgeting with your fingers, putting your hands in your pocket, rocking back and forth with your feet for no apparent reason, repeating yourself over and over, playing with your hair. These again are examples of non-functional behaviors. And as you go through this process, you are going to become more aware of your specific nonfunctional behaviors, and you'll be able to begin the process of removing them instead of allowing them to pollute your everyday speech, robbing you of clarity and confidence.
Okay, great. Another quick check-in. Okay, you have a list of auditory improvements, and you've got a list of visual improvements. Even more, now you have a no BS view of whether or not you're coming across the way you want to come across.
Next step, get the video transcribed. And the easiest way to do this is via YouTube. If you upload your video onto YouTube, mark it as unlisted for sure. Then you can see exactly every word you are saying. This transcript will give you a whole different perspective of the way you communicate. Here, you're going to be able to look at the way you structure your thoughts, how clear you are, and it's going to reveal to you what's known as your non-words and your filler words. Non-words are the sounds you make to fill the silence: um, uh, uh. And filler words, they are the words you use to fill the silence, like so. Do you know what I mean? Non-words and filler words, they destroy your credibility, authority, and clarity. As you are reviewing the transcript, once again, start taking notes. What do you like? What can you improve upon? What exactly are your filler words and non-words? Instead of being unaware of these non-functional sounds and words that you use, start eliminating them from your everyday speech. They don't serve you.
I want to share with you what we are doing here on a much deeper level. So much of your communication is unconscious. I want you to think about this: Where did you learn your voice from? I know it's a strange question to ask, but where did you learn your voice from? You learned it from your parents and those you were inspired by when you were young. Babies, young children, they learn through imitation and by copying. My little baby girl right now, she's 16 months old. She copies everything. She copies my facial expressions, the sounds that I make. She's eventually going to copy my communication habits for sure. She is learning from one of the best, though, so it's okay. Now, unless your mom and dad are communication experts, you may have learned some behaviors that are not serving you in life. This process you've just learned is so powerful because it pushes you to re-evaluate all those behaviors that you've been repeating for the last 5, 10, 20, 30 plus years. It's through these reflections that you are able to make new decisions, develop new behaviors that's going to allow you to create a whole new future. Damn it, Vin, that was inspiring. Give yourself a pat on the back.
Doing the above is not enough. You need to take all of the insights that you've gathered throughout this process above and plug it into a four-week plan. If you haven't already, go make sure you download the free workbook that I've linked in the description so you can follow along. From your auditory and visual review, pick four things you want to work on over the next four weeks. For example, in step six of the workbook, you can see here there's a four-week plan. Now, once you've picked your top four things on your list, I want you to fill out the four-week plan on the next page. So, if you look on this next page here, this is your four-week plan. You're able to focus on just one thing that you want to work on per week. The order of what you work on doesn't matter. Just pick any to start with. And at the end of each day, ask yourself this: Did I practice this new behavior? And if you did, give the day a tick. This is your way of checking in with yourself to see how you're tracking with your practice.
I've taken hundreds and thousands of students through my stage programs and there's one big roadblock at this point. My students will say, "But Vin, I don't have any opportunities to practice my communication skills." Why that weird voice? Because that's how they sound. And I used to say the same thing to my vocal coach when I was doing vocal training. I used to say, "But Miss Stanley, I don't have anywhere to practice. I don't know how to practice." To which she would respond, "Anytime you open your mouth, young man, it's an opportunity to practice." And I know what you might be thinking at this point because there's another excuse that pops into your head. You're thinking to yourself now, "But then what if I don't have anybody to interact with at my work because I work from home? What then? Huh?" And once again, that's what you sound like to me when you give me excuses. But to answer your question, trust me, I've heard it all. Let me ask you this in return: Can you open your mouth while you are on your own and by yourself? Yes. Yes, you can. So, what does that mean? It means you can practice anytime, anywhere. Checkmate. Stop avoiding practice. Stop avoiding the application. The world, the algorithms are all working against you, always wanting you to consume more content, more content. We have become beings who are addicted to consumption of knowledge and the acquisition of knowledge. No one applies anymore. It's why more than ever people feel stuck and they start to believe that they're doomed and that they can't change, especially when it comes to their communication. Break the damn cycle. Download the workbook below for free and start to master the skill that's going to allow you to negotiate whatever reality you desire. Stop standing on the sideline scrolling. It's time to lean in and take action. And if you found this video useful, have you liked yet? Have you subscribed yet? Because if you haven't, mate, do the right thing. Clickity click that button. You know you want to. And if you want to continue down the rabbit hole, click this video here. This is a this is a killer one.