Transcription
Well, that was good for Joor. Good for her. And nonc caral church out there in Brooklyn. And now Norm insisted on doing a fastest finger question. You better get it right, Norm. You all set?
Yes, sir. Okay, here is your own personal fastest finger question. Here it comes. Put the following letters in order to spell a popular man's name: N, O, R.
[Applause]
F. Okay, Norm, time's up. Let's see the answer in the correct order and see if you got it right. In the fastest... N, and an O, and an R, and an M. Who got it in the fastest time? D. McDonald. Y. There he is. We'll be right back in a moment with Nor.
[Applause] [Music]
McDonald. Finally, he is here. Nor McDonald. Nor McDonald patiently waited all of these nights to be with us. Thank you, Norm, for... Yeah. This is exciting. You and I together. Norm, why don't we just take a little quiet time together? All right. Kind of check each other out. Sure, man. You're a good-looking man. You're kind of attractive yourself. Well, why don't we leave? Hey, how about Norm's friend and companion seat right now? K. Kin. Remember K? There he is. Hello. Have you known K? K, I know him about 15 years. How did you meet K? He lives at his house. Norman actually crashes on my couch. K, you got to get your own place. Got it. Got it. How did you meet Norman? Actually, through sports many years ago. Up in tennis and, uh, tennis and golf. Didn't know you. I've been around for a while. There. Read just... you didn't know you played tennis and golf? Yeah. Good. As a matter of fact, my charity today is the Palm Beach Tennis and Golf Resort. Ah.
[Applause]
Oh, actually, no one's kidding. It's the, uh, Hole in the Ball Gang, right? Yeah, it's the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp. Uh, uh, that Paul Newman started. And, uh, it's real good for kids to go to camp that are sick. You know, that's nice. That's good. Want to make a lot of money. All right, big guy. You waited a long time to be here. That's right. And we're, we're happy for your good nature and all the kidding you put up with. Thank you very much. All right, Norm. Let's go to work. You know the rules. You know the lifelines. Let's do it. Let's play Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. No, that done. $100. Inexperienced typists are sent to use what technique when typing on a keyboard? Stop and go, hunt and pick, jolt and bolt, crunch and munch. Hunt and... I want to say peck. Wrong. No, I'm kidding. I just wanted to see. Gotcha. The man said hunt and peck. Final answer, Norm. Final answer? Yes. For $100, hunt and peck. You know what? You know, if this was me, I would keep going. But, uh, it's a charity. There's children. The kids could use it. Give me the $100. You're kidding. I'm dead serious. I got to get going. You got it, baby. No, I'll play. I'll play. I'll play. $200. A major, a majorette would most likely carry which of the following? Majorette, a major guitar, baton, hockey stick, crowbar. Um, um, I guess a majorette would carry a baton. Final. Yeah. Final answer. That's what you would carry at the time. Got that right. Dynamite so far. K's very proud of you. Ah, he's a good man. $300. By the way, K and I, you know, we, I, you know, I like the ladies. You know what I'm saying? You and K like to... He's just a guy I know. That's all I'm trying to say. We all have our own thoughts about that. For three. Norm. Yeah. Where does a rider normally put his feet while riding a saddled horse? In the bit, harness, stirrups, manure. Well, I think it's the stirrups. Find a Lancer. Yeah. And it's a good one. The stup. Three. No McDonald. Up to $500. What part of the human body is often described as being any or Audi? Oh my God. Good lord. Your belly button, your earlobe, your nostril, your elbow. Um, belly butt. Final answer is belly butt. Indie or Udi. He got it right. What do you think of that for $500? For $1,000. If someone has a six-figure income, what is the minimum amount that he makes in one year? Oh, this is a tough. You, you got a minute? It's $100, th... $100,000. $1,000. $600,000. $1 million. $100,000. Uh, D. $100,000. Final. Hate to burden you with this. Final, final answer? Yes. Got it for.
[Applause] [Music]
$1,000. No McDonald. Getting cocky. Let's face it, he's bored at this point. He's going for $2,000. Larry King Live currently airs on what TV channel? MSNBC, CNN, ESPN, The WB. Well, I know The O'Reilly Factor is a Fox News Channel. Uh-huh. I know that. Hardball with Chris Matthews is MSNBC. Are you sure? Yeah, I know that. Uh, SportsCenter is ESPN. I know Larry King Live is on a WB. I've heard people say. What they know. I'd say, uh, uh, that's on CNN, of course. And you'd make that your final answer. And it's the right answer. Larry King, CNN for years and years. Don't you do Larry King in your vast repertoire? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How? Just give me two words. Larry King. Just from... He does the News and Views column in in the USA Today where says in his opinions about stuff. And he'll say things like, uh, yellow is a great color, but for my money, the best is blue. Little touch of Larry King here. $4,000. Norm, what Alice Walker novel was made into a Steven Spielberg film? Amistad, Hook, The Color Purple, Beloved. I think The Color Purple is the only one of those that she wrote. Final. Isn't anybody helping me out? I don't know. It's... You're all by yourself. Color Purple. Not fair. It's the Color Purple. Joy, beart back there saying nothing. Color Purple. He said Color Purple. Final Answer. Final Answer. Got it for.
[Applause] [Music]
$4,000. $8,000. Which of these ancient peoples built their cities in Mexico? The Hittites, the Hittites, Philistines, Philistines, Aztec, Aztec, or the Romans? It must be the Aztec. The other are all like ancient. The Aztec. I love the way you say that. The Aztec. Isn't it? Final answer. The Hittites. It's the Aztec. F... Final, final answer? Yes. The Aztec. Come on, McDonald. On a.
[Applause] [Music]
Roll. K's very happy for you. K's a good man. Because Joy has a hand in my lap. Joy has her hand in K's lap. All right. $16,000. This man is going for. Which of the following foods is not a type of fish? Sorl, scrad, soul, skate. I guess Soro. Why do you? Why do you guess that? Well, I mean, isn't scrad, soul, and skate off.
[Music]
Fish. Final answer. He says yes. He's got it for.
[Music] [Applause]
$16. No McDonald. Wouldn't it be funny if No McDonald won the million dollars? He's going for $32,000 right now. As seen in the 1996 movie Fargo, a large statue of what folk hero stands in Brainerd, Minnesota? Johnny Appleseed, Paul Bunyan, Lone Ranger, Crazy Horse. Well, the only one that makes sense to me is Paul Bunyan. So we're going to make that.
[Music]
Right. Why would Johnny Apple be in Minnesota? Crazy. Say. Final answer. Oh, there you go. And you're right back.
[Applause] [Music]
$64,000. No McDonald. It's won $32,000. Going for $64,000. And playing for the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp. Yeah, it's the camp that the great Paul Newman started for, uh, seriously ill children to come and visit. And he's a good man. That's why he... The salad dressing and the popcorn, you know. And I thought that, uh, I, I would try to do something good. I drink a lot of salad dressing. Well, that's nice of you to help Paul out. Yeah, he's a great man. And I hope, uh, it helps a little bit. That's great. And K, nice having you, uh, in our audience. It's so exciting. And incidentally, Norm is in his third season now on ABC, Friday nights, with his own show, which he has created, produced, stars in. Yeah, that's right. And I just like to say that I think that this show is the greatest show ever on TV. Wow. All right, with that in mind, I want Norm McDonald to win a million dollars. And here we go for $64,000. Let's play. By 1999, who raised more than $5 million for charity by auctioning off 100 of his guitars? Was it George Harrison, Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Eric Clapton? Well, I don't know anything about music, but I would imagine it would be a guitarist. Now, I think I've seen pictures of Bob Dylan carrying a guitar, so I guess, um, you follow any of this new music? Yeah, this was a kind of a big story. That was a big story in New York. Was it? Yeah. New York City area. Well, all over the country. Oh, I see. It's not all the papers. All the papers. Because a New York guy sold the thing. Is that the story? New York guy. Guy lived in New York. Well, I don't know if he lived in New York, but was he born? Born in Canada. He might have been. I, I have to use a lifeline. I think you should really. Now, let me ask you this, because I was considering doing this. Could I ask only the members of the audience who for sure know the answer?
[Applause]
I think the whole audience will participate. They're all behind you, Norm. I know, but I don't want the ones that don't know. I'm not going to. I might not choose that lifeline, though. But since they're all guitarists and I, I don't care for the rock and roll, I guess I don't know anything about this. So I will, uh, you figure this a big story that people would know. The general. The, I think this audience looks like a very, you know, hip audience. They'll know this. All right, go ahead. Okay, audience, we need your help for Norm. In 1999, who raised more than $5 million for charity by auctioning off 100 of his guitars? George Harrison, Bob Dylan, Neil Young, or Eric Clapton? If you're ready on your keypads, using A, B, C, or D, vote.
[Music]
Now. 85% called it Eric Clapton. That's what I was trying to get at with my New York thing. Yeah. Oh, well. I blew a lifeline, but the audience is smart when it comes to guitars. I'll say, uh, I'll say D and make it your final answer. Yeah. And the audience is.
[Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music]
Right. The guitar used to record the entire Layla album sold for almost a half million dollars. That's very uninteresting. Okay, you're probably right. $125,000. Norm. Far away from a million. Sailors in the southern hemisphere use what feature in the night sky to aid in navigation? A carpenter square, Southern Cross, Southern Lights, Beetlejuice. Southern.
[Music]
Cross. Are you making that your final answer, or you just musing? Oh, no, no. I believe. Well, now you make me second guess. Wouldn't it be the Southern Cross? Well, it's up to you, Norm. If you'd like it to be Southern Cross, we can make it your final answer. And let me think about this. I know that, uh, Beetlejuice, I mean, it's not going to be Beetlejuice, is it? How could that even be possible? That's up in the sky. A lot of things up there, Norm. We don't know really. Yeah, lot going on. Well, I would like to say Southern Cross, but, you know, you know. No, you'll lose $32,000 here if you. I don't lose it. These children lose that's right. Um, gosh, on the other hand, if I get it, then I still have two.
[Music]
Lifelines. Pretty sure it's the Southern Cross. You sound like you're pretty sure it's the Southern Cross. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's the Southern Cross. Re- but then I looked in your eyes and you did some freaky face. No, I just couldn't figure out the way you set up whether it was an off-hand remark or you really meant to. I don't know if this was on camera, but this is what happened. I go, I think it's a Southern Cross. I looked over here like I would never do that because I don't know what the answer is. I'll use my phone a friend. Who do you want to call? You got an astronomy buff there? No, I have a friend, though. Okay. Better than nothing. Yeah. I, I, I, I have one friend. So let's phone him up. Uh, his name is Sam Simon. Sam Simon. All right. Our friends at at will get Sam on the line for.
[Music]
Us. Hello, Sam? Yes, Reg, just Philwood again, calling from New York. How are you? Good, Reges. How are you doing? We just talked with you, uh, about, uh, Drew Carey's question. Yeah. And you popped up again on, uh, Norm's, uh, list. That's right. All right. So he's going to read you the question, four answers. Let's see if you can do him some good. Okay. Okay, great. All right, Norm, all yours. 30 seconds right now. Sailors in the southern hemisphere use what feature in the night sky to aid in navigation? Carpenter Square, Southern Cross, Southern Lights, Beetlejuice. The answer is, uh, B, Southern Cross. And I'm 100% sure. Yeah. So was.
[Applause]
I. A lot of good these lifelines are doing me. Thanks, Sam. Okay, bye. See, there you go. You doubted yourself. You could have saved that lifeline. How you going to win a million dollars with one lifeline? Now that dream's as good as dead. So anry. Final answer. He said, of course, it's the.
[Applause] [Music] [Applause]
Southern. Okay, you have one lifeline left. We're going for a quarter million. All right, here it is. The Reina Sophia Art Center is located in what European city? Madrid, Lisbon, Rome, Vienna.
[Music]
Where's Madrid? Spain. Madrid is in Spain. I think it would be Madrid. Why do you think it's Madrid? Let me ask you something. If I B say, hey, I think it may be Madrid or Lisbon. And then the 50/50 comes. It's not going to say Madrid, Elizabeth, is it? You don't know, but it may not be the two that, uh, that you're thinking of. Okay, but there's not a dude in the back going like, no, no, these are locked in. It's been locked in for months. 50/50. Let's do it. Computer, take away two of those wrong.
[Applause]
Answers. I swear to you. No, no, no, no. I, I give you my word as your best friend next to K, Kalin, that that's not fixed. And said, but isn't that amazing that you said Madrid? You see, your first instincts are so sharp, so pure, so right. I'll go. I'll say Madrid. Final answer. Oh my gosh. Just want a call a million dollar. When we come back, Norm, go for a half million dollars.
[Music]
This man has been playing possum with us for the last four nights. Here. I blew three lifelines, except the guitar thing was great. You've been sitting there going, I don't know. All of a sudden, bang, bang, bang. You're going for a half million dollars now. You ready, big guy? Let's do it. For a half a million dollars. What Broadway musical features material written by Samuel Beckett and John Lennon? Hair, Godspell, Kaaay, O, Kolkata. Now, Norm, look, you're going to lose $218 if you don't, if you don't get it right. No lifelines. You leave with $32,000. Got $250,500. If you get this. Well, I, I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals. Oh my God. And, and I've been told I can't ask you a question, so I don't know what I'm supposed to do here. It's more than we really wanted to know. Now, I know I don't know anything about John Lennon, because he's a singer, but I am very familiar with Samuel Beckett. But he didn't write any of this stuff. So where am I supposed to? Maybe it's time to say good night.
[Music]
Norm. He's hanging in there. Some material written by Samuel Beckett may be involved in one of these shows. They might be. I never seen any of. You haven't seen any of the shows. How, how in the world are you going to get this? I know I remember somebody told me, old Kolkata was dirty, dirty, dirty, like it had naked, dirty people. Yeah. So what does that mean? Well, I'm thinking maybe O Kata because it takes place in India and sort of a dark subject would maybe have something to do with Beckett. Say O Kata. Final answer. No, he just got it for. Oh my God, you are absolutely amazing. I got to tell you that. I'm really proud of you. But I wrecked those lifelines. I wish I had them. Well, they're all gone now, but look, you won $500,000. You, you tie Drew Carey and Rosie O'Donnell. Now, let's, let's look at it for a million. Okay. This question, can you believe it? May be a million dollars. Going to be yours. Here it comes. For the kids. Oh, for the kids. During the Cold War, the US government built a bunker to house Congress onto what Gulf Resort? The Breakers, The Greenbrier, Pinehurst, The Broadmoor.
[Music]
I mean, they always say don't go with the obvious one, right? That's what somebody told me.
[Music]
Backstage. See, here's the problem. Let's say I lose all that money and it gets back to Paul Newman. That's going to be a problem. I look like you'd lose $468,000. I wouldn't lose it. The children, of course, the children would lose it. But you would lose it for the children. You don't want to do that, do you? I don't know, man. You got a little gambling streak in you. Don't you? You want to see if you could beat the game, don't you? You want to win a million, don't you? Well, I'm going to say Pine. Um, you're going to say what? I was thinking of Pinehurst, but you say don't go with the obvious. So I'll say Greenbrier. Please. Before you say Final Answer, Norm. I, I'm not kidding. $468,000. Unless you're sure. Okay, fine. Forget it. It could be Pinehurst. Is that what you're going to say? Just give me the half a million. We'll quit. All right. Do you, do you want to walk? What do you? I have to find out if you want to walk away. I was going to answer a question, but you told me I quit. It's too much for me. I can't stand it. What do you want to do, baby? Tell me what you want to do. Well, I think it, I was going to, I think Pinehurst is too obvious. So I guess I will say Green. What's the matter? Greenbrier? What are you making that face for? Forget it. Up. Scared to death. Okay, give me that. Forget it. I'll just give a half a million. All right. What do you think? Take a guess. I have no idea. I said my guess is. I guess I was wrong. Must be one of those. Did you say Greenbrier? I said, yeah. Yeah. You would have won a million, but $500,000. Come on, be happy. You were great, Mom. You were just terrific. Yeah, you were fabulous. I'm not kidding you. And that's it for the second edition of Celebrity Millionaire. And what an incredible five nights it's been. Here we've laughed and we've danced, we've agonized, and we raised over a million dollars for charity. We'd like to thank this fabulous bunch for coming in all week on behalf of their favorite charities. This money will truly change many, many lives. From New York, everybody, good night.