How Do I Approach God When I Pray?

We pray not to connect with God. We pray from connection with God. It's because we've been accepted. It's because we are already connected. It's because He already lives within us that from that place we can pray.

I have a wonderful, amazing wife, and we have a specific date night every week. The purpose of that set time is just so we can be with each other. We're not trying to earn our marriage; we're married. Every so often, something comes up in a schedule, an event, and when we miss that date night, it's not like we lose our marriage. And in the same way, when we come into prayer, we're not trying to earn anything; we're trying to enjoy everything that Christ already paid [Music] for.

I'll begin by saying that this was not coordinated. We just so happen to all be wearing blue today, so that's what we have to work with here. Matthew chapter 6, beginning at verse number five: "When you pray, don't be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get. But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you. When you pray, don't babble on and on as the Gentiles do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again. Don't be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask Him. Pray like this: Our Father in Heaven, may Your name be kept holy. May Your kingdom come soon. May Your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us today the food we need, or give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. And don't let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one."

Let's talk about prayer, gentlemen. You know, I think it's interesting, um, when you're talking about prayer. If you read in Philippians chapter 4, and this is something you talk about often, this one, uh, the Bible says, you know, "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything." It's interesting that God offers prayer in that aspect for our sake, not for His sake. I know it might sound a little strange, but as you just read, you know, um, God knows what we need before we even ask Him. So this coming to God with all of our needs is more about us giving our anxiety and our attempt to control it into His hands, and less about informing Him about whatever crazy is going on in our lives.

Well, let's read that Philippians 4:6 and 7: "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

I want to break this down briefly. "Don't worry about anything." That's a command, and it's very difficult, especially with human nature, to keep that command because that's our tendency. And really, worry is your flesh's attempt at controlling the situation. Worry is a useless attempt at control. So, "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done." I think this is interesting because there's this idea that we mustn't ask God for things. And it's a very religious idea that would suggest that the Lord is somehow upset with us, or that it's immature, or selfish, or unreasonable to ask God for things. You might hear phrases like, "Well, why are you praying for a new job when there are people starving in third-world countries?" or "Why are you asking God for a house or a car when there are people who are sick in the hospital?" And it's this idea that I can't ask God to fill my needs here because someone else is suffering over there. And that's just not the case at all. As long as you are grateful, you can present your needs to God. So, "Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done." So here is biblical proof that you can be grateful while still making prayer requests. And then we go on reading: "Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand." So peace comes after I've unburdened myself through the prayer request. I tell God what I need. Those burdens are lifted from off of my shoulders, and now that becomes the beginning place of prayer. The issue is that many believers, when they experience this peace, they say, "Thank you, Lord, for the peace," and now I'm going to leave the prayer room and go on about my day. They feel the relief of prayer, and so they leave their prayer rooms. When peace is not the conclusion of prayer, it's the beginning of prayer. He fills you with that peace, and now you can totally focus on Him as you lift your prayer requests to Him, as you worship Him, as you spend time with Him. So that peace comes, and then we can move into the deeper places of prayer.

I think it is very beautiful that, um, it started with worry about nothing, and it ended with the peace. I think that's so beautiful. That He knows what you're looking for already. The moment you start to worry, you're looking for peace. So that peace is already there, waiting for you. And I tell people often, um, when I read this verse, them, I tell them, uh, when you're worrying, you, you might not always hear God, or seemingly hear God, in that prayer room. But something is certain in that, in that prayer room: the peace of God. He knows your word. He knows your answers. What you need in that moment is God's peace. And it's amazing that that peace will come and guard your heart through Christ Jesus. I, I said to someone recently, I said, "He doesn't want, He doesn't want men to break your heart, so He gives you the peace Himself." And it protects your heart through Christ Jesus. I think that's so beautiful.

You know, I think that's very interesting where it says, "And then the peace of God." In some translations, or here it says, "You will experience God's peace." That we're not talking about us coming to a place of, "Okay, I've got this." It's no, I'm stepping into how God feels about the situation. God's peace. So when I pray about it and I give it into God, I'm giving up a carnal perspective that's based on my power to handle the situation, and I'm recognizing God's power to handle the situation. So I can see it from His place. God's not looking at this, "Oh, I wonder how I'm going to do this." So when I see it from His perspective, I know, "Oh, He's got this." I know, after doing ministry for several years, being married for several years, being a father for several years, that prayer is essential to our peace. I look at several situations I've faced where, even now, I look back and go, "That was the Lord keeping me calm. That was the Lord keeping my peace of mind intact." And if it wasn't for Him, I might have given up. I might have been a thousand pieces on the floor. I'm wondering, what are some situations where you experienced peace when you should not have, as a result of prayer?

The incredible thing about prayer, prayer for me personally, is that we can do it anywhere. So if, for some reason, there's a situation in your life where it just kind of comes up, you know, and it just hits you out of the blue, there's still time to pray about that and pray and give it to the Lord. Because I think, again, for my life personally, I've, uh, been through very, very hard situations with my family. And through prayer, and through the prayer of my mom and my brothers and sisters, we've been able to get through it. And I don't think we wouldn't be where we are today without that. And I think prayer is so vital, especially in my life, and, and in my family's life, and my mom's life, um, to hold on to that and not let worry. Because again, I'm a work in progress. Sometimes I still worry about situations, but I think I can pray about this situation, and I'm going to do that.

Yeah, there's actually a situation, um, looking back on it, I could see how it should have been stressful. But for me, I just had this sense of, "It's going to be okay. God's got it." As I was trying to get into this apartment, 'cause I needed a different place to live, but it was under construction. And so it was supposed to finish by a certain time, and they told me, "Okay, this time." And then something went wrong. I don't know if it was like a plumbing or some kind of construction issue went wrong. And they said, "Okay, we're sorry. Hey, we've got to push it back a little bit more, but, you know, we'll give you like a little credit or something." And so I was like, "Okay, you know what? We can handle this." And then we're like, getting real close to the day, and I'm like, "Got all my stuff. I'm getting close. I'm ready to go." And then all of a sudden, they're like, "Hey, so it's actually going to be like another month before it's ready." And, you know, looking back on it, like, and there's other situations where I get a little tense. But in this situation, I was just like, "Okay." Like, I had this sense, like, "It's going to be okay." And I credit that to, like, I was just kept giving it to the Lord and praying. I was like, "Lord, I, I know You've got this." And it all worked out, and then I had a, a great place to live. But I could see if I wasn't in prayer, I know that that would have caused worry, especially because of how close things were getting with how I need a transition in that time of my life. I would have gotten worried. But because of prayer, I was like, "You got this."

Yeah, yeah. No, I had, um, a very, um, very sad situation last year where, uh, a baby was diagnosed with some issue that, uh, doctors couldn't reverse, couldn't fix. And when they told us after the second ultrasound, they told us, "You know, she's most likely not going to be alive when she's born." I remember I looked at the doct, the doctor in that moment and I said, "I hear you, but I trust God." And we held hands in that moment, my wife and I. We had held hands in that moment, and we prayed about it. Now, fast forward to after we had the baby, she passed after about two hours. And someone came into the room and was supposed to be, be some sort of a counselor to just, um, help us, you know, walk through that moment, just journey through that moment and that season of our lives. When he walked in and said, "I'm looking for the room where they just lost their child." And we're like, "This is the place." He said, "Why are you guys laughing? Why are you guys so happy?" I handed up preaching salvation to that man. Wow. Right there. And a lot of people don't understand how. And I tell them, I said, "I gave it to God." The moments that doctors gave me that news, it's not about me holding on to it. My prayer is not to change God's mind towards my prayer request and my desires. It is to agree with His sovereignty. That even when I don't understand, when I can't figure it out, maybe not just yet, I know that He has my best interest at heart. He loves my wife so much that He's not just putting us, or we're not just going through this for the fun of it. So, um, I think prayer is very, very essential. It carried us through, um, that, that very, very tough moment. My wife's family were expecting her to be depressed. I remember getting back to work and people are like, "Are you sure you're fine?" I'm like, "Yes, I'm okay." And the secret is prayer.

Mhm. Pray. And you know, you can see the difference in your own life in the times that you're devoting to prayer on a consistent basis as opposed to when you're being inconsistent in prayer. And you can feel yourself stumbling emotionally, mentally. I remember during a very harsh season of criticism and, you know, in terms of criticism coming against myself and the ministry. There are seasons to it. Sometimes it's very quiet, there's not much going on. But as the saying goes, when it rains, it pours. And then sometimes, you know, one person will maybe start a criticism, another person will make a video, someone else will do a post, and it kind of snowballs into something. And it used to be that that would get into my heart, and I would become worried, and maybe considering all the possible ways that it could negatively affect the ministry and our impact, and all those years of hard work that we've been putting into the soil of this ministry. Oh my goodness, could it possibly be undone? And then I started giving it to the Lord in prayer. And the Lord had to help me do that because, especially when we're afraid, we want to hold on to it. Yeah, because it's very scary giving these things to the Lord because we feel somehow that if we're bracing for it, or if we're expecting something negative, or if we're looking for what could possibly go wrong, then we imagine that when it finally comes, that somehow it's going to hurt less or affect us less. And that's the nature of worry. That's the illusion of control. And so I remember when I started giving it to the Lord and saying, "Lord, this is Your ministry. Yes, it's a lot of hard work. Yes, it's hours and hours a day. Yes, it's been years and years and years of sewing into the ground, and people come along and they try to destroy it. They make it their mission to destroy it." And you just say, "I don't even understand why that." I think that was one of the things that affected me, like, "Why? Like, what is it that I say or do that's just so horrific that, you know?" Yeah, I believe in miracles. Yeah, I believe in speaking in tongues. I mean, I don't understand what, why that would be such a, such an upset to some people. I didn't get it. And then I just said, "You know what, Lord, the Encounter Podcast is brought to you in part by Numa Streaming. Now, Numa Streaming is a Christian streaming platform that I created because I was tired of seeing preachers of the Gospel censored for telling biblical truth. If you'd like to begin viewing content on Numa Streaming, and there's a lot of great content on there, we have Vlad Savchuk, Spencer Nakamura, Dei Davids, who's sitting right across of me right now, is on there. I'm on there also, various other preachers and teachers, and the library of content is ever growing. So make sure you go check it out. Go to stream.numa.com. stream.numa.com. You can watch most, most of the content there for free. There's a section of premium content, but as I said, most of the content, 100% free. Check it out right now. One more time, stream.numa.com. What is it that I say or do that's just so horrific that, you know? Yeah, I believe in miracles. Yeah, I believe in speaking in tongues. I mean, I don't understand what, why that would be such a, such an upset to some people. I didn't get it. And then I just said, "You know what, Lord, this is Your ministry. This is Your work. I'm just Your servant. I'm just just stewarding the work." And I don't know what it is, but there's this supernatural peace. Like, Britain, like you were saying, that was brilliant, that observation that you made, that it's God's peace. It's that divine peace, that supernatural calm that comes over you. And now when these things come, it's almost an encouragement to where I see that we are making an impact. And I say, "Well, they wouldn't be coming against us so harshly if we weren't effective at what they disliked." And so the fact that we're effective at what we're doing, of course, that's going to draw criticism. And I've learned over the years that it doesn't even move the needle. You know, it's funny because I think sometimes that's part of the, I guess I'll use the word "illusion" again, that's part of the illusion of social media is that sometimes a a vocal minority can feel so big, they feel like such a big crowd. You think, "Oh man, that must represent everyone." But I found that there's a vocal minority that consolidates into a mob to criticize, and that's about it. They just, they can leave their comments, they can make their videos, they can make their commentary. And I found in real life, like outside of that internet space, I'm like, "Where are they?" And where is the effect? Literally, it, I talked to our staff, I talk to our, um, our COO, our CFO, our head of our part department. I'm just trying to get like a feel on on how that stuff actually affects us. And they're like, "We don't get a single phone call. We don't get a single email." There's like, it, it literally has, well, I will say virtually has zero effect. If anything, we see growth in those times because people want to support you when you're being attacked. But, but I never would have seen it from that perspective had it not been for prayer. My nature, I, I, I want to fight. I want to argue. I'm combative. I, I want to, I want to, I want to hit back ten times harder. And the Lord has to say, "That's your ego. Just let Me handle it." And, and the Lord will not handle the things we try to handle ourselves. But when you give it to Jesus, you surrender in prayer, you, you give them those burdens, you say, "Okay, Lord, You fight this battle because if I fight it, I'm going to get all tangled up in the emotion of it and the anger of it and the, I just want Your peace." And so you go into those places of prayer, you receive the peace of God, and I'm telling you, that could do psychological damage. And this is, I suppose, advice for those who are beginning in ministry: Don't get tangled up in that. Don't allow that to get in your heart. And the way you avoid getting down into the mud is by coming to the place of prayer. Go to the high place. Get into the presence of God. And by "get into the presence of God," I don't mean that in the literal sense, of course, we know He's always with us. But I mean, become focused on the presence of God. Be aware of the presence in you. And stay focused on what He's given you, the task at hand, and allow Him to fill you with His peace by relinquishing control, by relinquishing this desire to get involved, to hit back. And of course, that's just one example. I mean, we can give dozens of examples of how that works. But for me, that's been one of the, one of the great helps that prayer has given to me is this ability to be resilient in the face of criticism, where 10, 15 years ago, that may have crushed me emotionally. And now it's just, it's like, like water off a duck. Just, that's what one preacher told me, "Just let it be like water off a duck. Let it, it has zero effect. Keep moving." The only effect it can have is the effect you allow it to have mentally and emotionally. And you avoid that effect through prayer.

It's interesting that you talk about that because in my life, I'm, I'm starting to remember those "ah" moments that I knew it was the Lord. There was one instance where my mental state was really bad, like I truly believed I was a failure, like I would not amount to anything. And I just let the outside voices kind of get into my heart. And this was really before I kind of took to prayer. And I remember, like, I remember thinking, like, almost accepting that I was going to be a failure for the rest of my life, that I wouldn't make it. And there was a moment where I truly had to let go of that idea. And it was so hard for me because I started clinging to that identity that I was just going to be a failure, I wasn't going to amount to anything. But when I turned my face to the Lord, and, and it reminds me of 1 Peter 3:12: "The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and His ears are open to their prayers. But the Lord turns His face against those who do evil." And I remember just in that time in my life thinking, like, "Again, I have to let go of this, or it's going to follow me for the rest of my life." And there was a pivotal moment, again, this was my life personally, it could happen different ways in, in all, all your guys' lives that are listening. But in my life, I made that really hard stop to say, "I am, I am going to be successful in God. I am going to be someone. I'm not going to be no one." And again, it's not about my status or anything, but I truly had to encourage myself. But I didn't realize that the one encouraging me was the Holy Spirit giving me those words. And it was, it was really a great moment of my mental healing. And when I realized, like, "Yeah," and, and as Deji was speaking, letting go and just letting God take care of it. For the record, Steve, you were never and will never be a failure in my book. Amen. Thank you. Need good friends in your life too, that'll encourage you.

Yeah, and, um, something that I feel like we've been kind of, uh, suggesting in prayer is, we're talking about more than just a devotional time. Mhm. Or a series of things you say. We're talking about a fellowship with God that impacts the way you handle everything in your life. And so, um, there was this quote, I think it was a, a reporter or someone asked Miss Katherine Kuhlman, who was an evangelist, kind of in the, I think like the '50s or the '70s, around that time. They asked her, "So how much do you pray today?" And she was like, "Oh, I don't keep track. She's like, because if I say, if I intentionally set a time and I just pray an hour a day, then I'm going to limit the Holy Spirit. And I'm going to say, because of whatever He does in my life, He did it because I prayed that hour." And she was like, "I'm paraphrasing," but she basically said that she constantly is aware of His presence and constantly relying on Him. That prayer, more than the things we say, it's our heart leaning upon God in every moment and allowing whatever He thinks and whatever He wants to flow through us.

Let me get your reaction to this, to, to all, all three of you. "A week without prayer is a statement to God that you don't need Him that week." Your thoughts on that?

I mean, that's, that's hard. That's very hard to, to really understand. As far as like, you think you have enough prayer in your life, but a week without prayer, my goodness, I don't, I'd be a mess.

Yeah, I don't think it takes that much to wither without God. Give me two minutes without. Right now. Uh, yeah, no, a week without prayer is definitely, um, going into danger. The farther away you are from prayer, the closer you are to dangerous situations.

So let's balance that with the other side of the coin. This thought that if I don't pray for a week, then I've lost what I've had with God. That's not biblical either. So we find ourselves between this tension of not wanting to be so self-reliant that we neglect prayer, but also we don't want to systemize prayer to the point that we begin to think that our prayer life is the basis upon which God accepts us. Like you were saying, that's what made me think of it. What Miss Coleman was talking about, that we begin to put our faith in our prayer life, we put our faith in prayer, we put our faith in our faith, rather than our faith in Jesus. And so I think that we have to approach prayer biblically, recognizing, yes, that it is how we sustain ourselves. It is how we receive of that strength that the Lord has deposited in us. It is how we yield ourselves to Him daily. It is how we position ourselves to better hear His voice. But at the same time, someone could be listening to maybe a sermon on prayer, and this is where I first started to recognize this, you know, we hear these sermons on prayer about, you know, "If you're not praying, you're, you know, you're just a worm. You're a, you're a, you're a little insignificant worm in the dirt." Right? That's kind of like how you feel sometimes in one of these prayers. Britain's laughing. That's how sometimes we feel about these. And, you know, I've read some books on prayer. I think the heart of it is this passion for prayer, and it's great. I love it. But at the same time, you know, the whole identity wrapped up around, "What did you pray? Prayed 8 hours today? Did you, did you fast last month?" And I get it, we should pray. So don't hear what I'm not saying. We should pray. Prayer should be a discipline for daily life. But again, it's not this points-based system because then what tends to happen is if someone misses prayer, say for three days, then they're going to go back and say, "Well, God doesn't want to hear from me now," or "I can't pray now. I'm, I'm, I, I can't pray now because I missed prayer." And, and, and I don't know if I want to show up now as if God's going to be looking at us going, "Well, look who decided to show up. You, you sit there and you pray, and I'm going to ignore you until you make up for what you lost." And I'm thinking, that's how I used to think. And so it was again, for me, this balance between recognizing, yes, prayer is important, but also, if I'm not perfect in my prayer life, God's not going to just cast me aside.

Can I give an example?

Yes, please. Give an example.

Okay. So, um, I have a wonderful, amazing wife, Ellie, and she's great, and I love my wife. And we have a specific date night every week. And the purpose of that set time is just so we can be with each other. We're not trying to earn our marriage; we're married. And so it's to enjoy one another. But every so often, something comes up in a schedule, an event. Maybe I, I have a couple extra things that I, I have to finish up of work 'cause we got, you know, something coming up. And she totally understands. And so sometimes we have to miss and move that date night a little later in the week. And when we miss that date night, it's, it's not like we lose our marriage. And it doesn't cause either of us to say, "Well, now I don't want to spend time with you 'cause you missed date night." Now it's, "I can't wait till the next time we're free because we want to spend time together because we miss that time together." And in the same way, um, this is even something that God's been just continuing to work in my life in prayer is when we come into prayer, we're not trying to earn anything. We're coming to enjoy everything that Christ already paid for.

Say that again.

When we come into prayer, we're not trying to earn anything. We're trying to enjoy everything that Christ already paid for.

I think that is why it is important, just backing up what both of you have said, to remember how Jesus taught the disciples to pray. Not "Our Master," "Our Father." Fatherhood. And I love to look at it this way: I can stop being a son, but that doesn't mean He stops being a father. Oh, wow. Father, even if I step away, that doesn't make Him not a father. He's still the Father. So when I come back as a prodigal son, sometimes He still remains the Father. Just like the prodigal son in the Bible, the Father, the father, even though the son went away, the Bible said that when the father saw him from afar off, they came together. He's always waiting. You're not going, like you said, to earn. You're going to enjoy of who He is. That's His nature. His loving, His kind, His faithful, grateful. So when you come, you're coming to enjoy of everything of what is. You're not coming to earn of anything. We pray not to connect with God. We pray from connection with God. It's because we've been accepted. It's because we are already connected. It's because He already lives within us that from that place we can pray.

Now, on that point of "Our Father," a few things on that. Just those two powerful words: "Our Father." Number one, we see the realization of the collective unity that we have with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. "Our Father." There's this instant recognition of the family of God. "Our Father." I recognize who He is to me, and in recognizing who He is to me, I also see who I am in Him. So, "Our Father." I begin prayer with recognizing that identity, His identity, and mine. I begin with recognizing that acceptance, His acceptance for me. I don't begin prayer by saying, "God, please hear me," or "God, are You mad at me?" or "God, have You distanced Yourself from me?" Yeah. Or "God, have, have You abandoned me?" Yeah. "God, have You forsaken me?" No. It begins with "Our Father." This confidence in prayer. Now, of course, when we sin, we got to confess that to the Lord. 1 John 1:9. When we make a mistake, we ought to get that right before God and talk to Him about it, acknowledge that, and ask for His help to help, ask for His help to get rid of that, to, to burn that out of our lives with His holy fire. And I say, "Lord, help me get this right." So there's nothing wrong with that, uh, that type of repentance in prayer. Yes, of course, you need to do that. But ultimately, recognize that you are still accepted by your Heavenly Father. And it doesn't begin with begging. It begins with faith.

Yeah. So there's a, there's a cool feature, um, on, uh, our video game system that me and my, my boys have, where you can put it to sleep, or you can exit out of a game. Put the console to sleep. But as soon as you turn it back on, you can pick up right where the game left off. I feel like that's my communication with the Holy Spirit. It's an ongoing communication. It's not, "Okay," and then period. Then we pick up somewhere else. It's a constant communication between me and the Holy Spirit, um, throughout the days. Or even if I miss, just, you know, a day of really, really praying and talking, I know that I can just continue where I left off with the Holy Spirit. And, and by no means are we encouraging, because I know with some of the stuff I've been saying, some people might go, "David Hernandez said we don't have to pray every day." That's not what I said. I said that you don't have to condemn yourself, and you don't lose your identity in Christ just because you made a mistake by not praying. And as long as you don't make that your lifestyle, you're going to still be able to live from the connection that you already have with Him. It's been established.

I also think prayer becomes easier when you realize that the Holy Spirit prays through you. He helps you. Romans 8:20 says, "I don't know what I should pray for as I should, but thank God for the Holy Spirit. He prays through me." And I love verse 27 that says, "The Father that knows all hearts hears what the Spirit says." And I'm like, "Thank You for not listening to my heart before, but listening to what the Holy Spirit is saying." Because if You were to listen to my heart, then my heart might destroy me. But it listens to the Holy Spirit. It makes prayer easier. Now I realize that I have it, I have Him within me, and I can connect from anywhere because He's right there. He prays through me. I may not have the right words, but Romans 8:20 says, "I don't know what to pray," but thank God for the Holy Spirit. I think so many people struggle to pray because they haven't come to that realization of knowing that when you pray, it's partnership. And the Holy Spirit, like you'd always say, you know, just, uh, uh, uh, stumping his, his hand on the floor and just praying for you and interceding for you. And that makes him much more easier.

I love what you just said about, "I thank God that He doesn't hear my, my heart. He listens to the Holy Spirit." He listens to the Holy Spirit. And the Holy Spirit, that same verse says, prays for us in harmony with God's own will. In other words, He's bending us to God's will. Like that Psalm, "Incline my heart to Your statutes. Make me willing to obey You." And He's pleading with the Lord on your behalf. And the One who knows you better than anyone else knows you. Can pray for you like no one else can pray for you. He knows every imperfection. He knows every secret. He knows your motive. He knows every thought. He knows your behavior patterns. And He's praying for you, perfect, tailored prayers to bring you into alignment with God's will.

Here's a, here's a question, if I may. What is the difference between praying and just thinking about it? I've questioned a couple of people that would say, and now I'm referring to Matthew 7:7, "Ask." I've, I've spoken to a couple of people that would say, and I would say, "You know, have you prayed about it?" And they would say, "Yes, I have." But what they actually meant is, "I've been thinking about it very, very hard." But Matthew 7:7 says, "Ask." And I started to study that recently, and I realized that the, the reason why we have not, like the Bible said, is because we ask not. I think often times we think so much about it, and the devil wants to keep us there, not to pray. Don't ask. Don't pray about it. Just keep marinating in that thought. So I'm just curious to know what, what the rest of you guys think about those who don't bring it to God in prayer, rather they just sit there and they just marinate in it.

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The reason why we have not, like the Bible said, is because we ask not. I think often times we think so much about it, and the devil wants to keep us there, not to pray. Don't ask. Don't pray about it. Just keep marinating in that thought. So I'm just curious to know what, what the rest of you guys think about those who don't bring it to God in prayer, rather they just sit there and they just marinate in it.

I think that's going back to Philippians: "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything." I think the same could apply in earnestly desiring something. Now, don't just want something really bad, that's part of your own nature and reliance upon your own thought patterns, reliance upon your own energy and strength to acquire that. But when I now consciously switch gears to say, "I need You to help me with this," that is the exercise of the will. Because that is really what prayer is. It's the bending of your will to the nature and the will of the Father. I mean, prayer isn't this like, negotiation with God, right? Where we're trying to get God to do what He's reluctant to do. No one could do that. Prayer, or, or I've heard people say, like, "If you use the word, you can use the word to to make God do things." I'm thinking that's like heretical. Like that, that God has to do. It's manipulative that God has to do what I say because I said, "You right here, now you got to do it," as if I'm making Him do something He doesn't want to do. So prayer isn't about persuading God. Prayer is about transforming you. And so there's something to be said of the free will. And I don't quite understand it. I mean, there are biblical scholars who've sought to address these questions that, and there's still debate among them on, you know, free will versus predestination, how all that comes into play, and how does that all apply to prayer. I can't claim to know that. What I do know is that the Bible speaks to both realities, that we ought to trust God and also ask. That we must speak aloud. That we must communicate. That we must take things to Him. There's just something about free will that God has chosen to work through. And it's not that He needs us, it's that He chooses to work with us. It's just how He works in the earthly realm. And so, in terms of the theology, in terms of philosophizing about it, I don't know. I can't, I can't give every answer. But what I can say in direct application, there's something to be said about taking a prayer request to God and saying, "Lord, I need Your help with this." And I found there's a difference in those. So yes, thinking about it is different than asking God, because asking God is the exercise of the will. It is consciously choosing to rely on God's ability instead of just relying on your own. It's inviting into that situation.

You know, something that, that I personally struggled with was the fact that I didn't trust that He would answer. Because a lot of the times, specifically for me, when I would go to the Lord in prayer, I would almost hesitate to even ask because I didn't want to be let down. But a lot of times, I realize, like, "No, no, no." It's so funny. I look at my children, they don't come to me with hesitation. When there's pizza on the table, "Dad, can I get a slice?" They trust and know that I'm going to get that slice even before they ask. You know, I'm always reminded, I have my boys, they're always such a good reminder of the Lord. But I think a lot of times in my personal life, I struggled to trust that He would answer. So I would always go to Him and be like, "Maybe I shouldn't even say that. Maybe I shouldn't even bring that to Him." But when I open that door and just let go and just trusted the Lord that He would answer it in His way, I mean, I'm asking left and right for things now. That's faith. Without faith, it's impossible to please God. There's something about faith. When Jesus healed several times in this, in the New Testament, in the Gospels, when Jesus would heal, He would tell them, "Your faith has made you whole." So there's, there's a dynamic that faith plays. And again, we can analyze it, and we can debate about it about all the different spiritual workings and how it all exactly occurs in that realm. I don't know. I don't know. But I do know that He tells us to ask. I do know that He tells us to pray.

You know, it's interesting that you started talking about, once you kind of realize, "No, like, I can ask Him for things," you start asking for things left and right. It just made me think, every answered prayer brings glory to God. So by you actually asking and trusting and involving Him in more things, you're also inviting opportunities for Him to receive glory. And we should come boldly. Mhm. Because we have a High Priest. Yeah. We come boldly before the throne of grace. Why do we come boldly? Because we're so consistent in prayer? Because we were so good about keeping up with our Bible reading plan? Because we lived perfect for the last 90 days, had no slip-ups? No. We come boldly because we have a High Priest. In other words, not my performance, His perfection. Perfection. That's what brings me in. So to come to God's throne in any other posture than complete confidence and boldness is an insult to His grace. So good. That's an insult to His grace. We insult the blood of Jesus when we come sheepishly, when we come reluctantly, when we come doubting. Why? Because we only doubt because we think it depends upon us. And by the way, it reveals this form of pride. Because if you think it depends upon your performance, and that means when you approach Him in confidence, you think that your works were enough to give you that audience with God. That's religion. That's, that's, that is to be a Pharisee. That is what it means to be legalistic. When I come to Him boldly, whether I had a good week or a bad week, whether I feel strong or I feel weak, whether I feel Him near to me or I feel like He's a million miles away, when I come boldly now, it's because I'm basing it off of what He did on the cross. So good.

Now, talking about that, we've kind of dealt with a really important, um, mindset shift in approaching prayer. In your times of devotion, what are your thoughts on developing the consistency in the practical sense of your discipline to devote to times of prayer?

Two things: "Pray without ceasing," and then Matthew 6:6, "When you pray, go away privately." These aren't contradictions. We saw that Jesus would often retreat, but then Jesus was also mirroring the Father's will every moment of every day. I like to say there is secluded, scheduled prayer, and then there is spontaneous prayer. Spontaneous prayer is when I'm driving to work, when I'm out and about running an errand, when I'm with my family, when I'm doing anything and everything that's required in this life. Secluded prayer now is when I go away privately, I turn off the phone, I tell the family, "Hey, give me a few minutes. I need to just pray on my own here." That is a scheduled, secluded prayer. And we need both.

Now, to the point that you were making earlier, when we were talking about dating, you have to, you have to continue to date your wife. Okay? So Jess and I likewise have our date nights. It's Monday nights, and it works out really well because if, if you do date nights on Monday nights, then none of the restaurants are ever crowded. Come on now. Because the weekend, forget it. Sunday, forget it. You're going to get it. So we do date nights Monday evenings, and then we have family family nights Wednesday evenings, and then we have family days Friday and Saturday. Because for me, Sunday is a day where I'm recording, I'm in the office, I'm at the studio. So our weekend is Friday, Saturday. Um, but anyway, throughout the marriage, we have our date nights. Yes, but I don't limit all of my conversations to Jessica with Jessica to just Monday nights. It's not like she comes to me with the question, I say, "Well, my dear, we have to save this for Monday. You have to talk about it then." Because then we, we wouldn't have any time to enjoy each other's company. We would just be talking about children and school and finances. But all throughout the week, we're communicating, we're talking, we're sharing little moments together. I'm involving her in what I'm doing. She's involving me in what she's doing. It's, it's a shared life. And so all throughout the week, we're spending time as much as we can. And then Monday nights, that is that secluded, focused time. Now. And so you need both to make your marriage work. You need that consistent communication and that focused communication. And it's the same with prayer, to where throughout the day, you're communing with the Holy Spirit. And that comes just, you say, "What do I say?" Well, you're just, you're just aware of His presence. And if you're enjoying a good meal with friends, under your breath, in your own heart, just say, "Thank You, Holy Spirit, for being with me here." You're driving on on your way to work, just, just a quick, "I love You, Lord." Sing a song to Him. Worship Him. Acknowledge Him. Ask Him for help. Ask Him for strength. He doesn't mind you bringing requests to Him. And then there are those times where you just close everything off, you open the Word, you read the Word, you're worshiping the Lord.

You're praying, you're talking to him, you're communing with him. Now, that's the focus. The people who are very scheduled and structured have a lot of trouble with spontaneous prayer. M, because it just, it just seems a little odd to them to be talking to God all throughout the day, every day.

Now, the people who are a little more spontaneous, a little more free, they think that secluded, scheduled prayer is religious or too rigorous or too organized. But the fact of the matter is that the Lord is going to challenge every single one of us in one area or another. All of us can be more like Jesus in some way. And so, you need, whatever side of you is being challenged by either form of prayer, you need to allow the Lord to challenge that.

So, if you're more spontaneous, you're not a very organized person, you probably have trouble with carving out sections of your day to pray, but you still need to do it. And if you're a little bit more of a structured person who finds it a little odd that you're talking to the Lord all throughout the day, maybe you might, um, label that as, quote, "too spiritual." Doesn't matter, you need to do that. You need to be speaking with the Lord on a consistent basis.

Now, God is not petty. He's not going to be angry if you forget about him for a minute or 10 minutes or an hour. You know, sometimes we're with our family or we're working on a project and it's got all our focus. He's not going to get angry at that. We're talking about a lifestyle of awareness of his presence.

You know, something that I practically, uh, try to do in my home to kind of remind me to pray is, in each part of my home, I'll have something that reminds me of God, the Holy Spirit. In my bedroom, I have my Bible. In my office, I have my prayer wall. So, even if I'm doing something that doesn't necessarily involve, you know, praying, I'm, I look up and like, "Oh." Because life, we all know it can get so busy and we can forget sometimes to really just go with the Lord. And so, that's practically helped me because, again, sometimes life just goes by really fast. And it really does help. And that's something practical I think even someone listening, you could possibly do. Like, for a time, I've, I've had scriptures on my phone. You know, sometimes when I, before I even open my phone, there's a scripture right there to remind me, like, "Oh, let me go ahead and pray before I put the phone down." Or again, putting the Bible in my room. Um, so in every part of my room, I'm reminded of the Holy Spirit. I like that. That's a very good practical tip.

Again, uh, goes back to when you realize that the Holy Spirit is the one praying through you, makes it easier. Like, you're driving, you realize he's with you. There is that consciousness, there's that, um, consciousness of he's present. So, either I'm driving, I'm walking, I'm with family, I can communicate. But I love to look at it this way, that my, um, spontaneous prayer is a continuation of that, um, sectioned out time for God. Like, whatever we, we didn't finish, we could keep talking about it throughout my day. And then my secluded, my, um, sectioned out time for God is why I said, "God, I'm not busy now. It's just you and I. Nothing is interrupting." And just like the both of you have given in the examples, it's very important that we have both, that we're able to, to balance that out. Often times, we're so busy with the, you know, chaos of life, business world, family, and God is fine with that. But I also want to let him know that now you have me. I can create time for you.

As far as relationship is concerned, for it to grow, there's got to be that commitment, either relationship to God or relationship with one another. So, with God, I go, "Okay, here I am. Now, no distraction. Just you and I." Not because it's mad at those other times, but just to show my sonship. Here I am, speaking to my Father, one-on-one.

Okay, I have a question for, for you. I want each of you to take a shot at this because I think we can learn something from each of you here. And this is probably a question that's going to be on the mind of many listeners. When you pray, what exactly are you praying? Because I know for me, that when I first began to read about prayer, hear about prayer, I, I would hear about all these generals of the faith who would pray for hours a day, and I would just wonder, like, "What do you talk about? What exactly are you saying and doing?" And very practical, I want specific, applicable information. So, we'll start with you, Dei. We'll move this way. What, what exactly, and you don't have to get too personal, I know some things are between you and the Lord. What are you talking about? What are you saying? What, what is, let's say, an hour of prayer? Break that down for us. What does that look like?

An hour of prayer for me would look like, first, I, of course, get into that prayer room, that prayer closet. Um, and I start to worship. My worship is to get out of my own mind. I want to get out of my head as quickly as possible because I've come to realize that the quicker I can get out of my head, the quicker I can allow him just to have more influence through me. I love to call my prayer time "Spirit-inspired praise." I want to pray what is in the heart of God. So, the times I'm just there just worshiping, and how would, here, pray for that old school, uh, classmate of yours. Um, of course, there's a time where I go with my prayer requests. But, um, most of the time, my prayer life looks just like this. I go in, I worship, and I just begin to ask God, "God, what, what do you want me to pray about? Sincerely speaking, what is in Your Heart? Holy Spirit, speak to me." I may have prayer requests. I don't, often times, I don't go to them first. I want to hear what he wants me to pray about. And again, there are times where it would, it would remind me of a family member that I haven't even talked about in so long. Um, and the end of my prayer, I'm just thanking him, appreciating him for answered prayer because I believe that he's answered everything.

I'm going to be really honest, and I think this will help some people listening. Sometimes when I go to pray, I have absolutely no idea what to do. And you know what I do with that? Practically, I say, "Lord, I have absolutely no idea what to do." And I'm coming to realize, um, and I'll give some practical things, but I just want to encourage people listening, like, it's not you. You don't have to measure your spirituality by whether or not you feel like you have this perfect prayer time. Your spirituality is just allowing God to continue growing you in the nature of Christ. But when I go to pray, well, one, I realize God is doing this life with me. So, the things that are relevant to me today, with whatever's going on today or this week, this month, etcetera, this season of life, is relevant to my prayer time. So, like you were talking about prayer requests, and even getting out of your own mind, um, I think sometimes, like we talked about earlier, those two are interlinked. So, a prayer request is a good, helpful tool to help you focus on, like we were saying, a lot earlier in the podcast, focus on God's ability and just give the burdens to him.

Something I also practically like to do, um, every time I pray, regardless of how much time it is, and I wouldn't get all hung up on how much you're doing each specific thing, just talk to the Lord. Is, I, I like to call it "Listening Prayer." And when I say Listening Prayer, I mean reading the scripture because when you read the scripture, you are hearing God's voice for that moment. And I'll find most often the greatest, what would you say, direction I'm receiving each day from God is just as I read through the scripture, one thing will either convict me or encourage me or something like that. And I'll be like, "That's, that's the direction I needed today."

Does that become a prayer point for you when you see scripture? Um, if I see that, I'll usually, sir, if I'm convicted, I'll say, "God, help me. I need you." I'll say, "I, yeah, I need to be less selfish. You're right." Um, you're reading the scripture. So, I would say prayer requests is good. Worship is, is good. But then I would say something I do, I try to do practically, is not try to measure the success of your prayer by what happens or doesn't happen because prayer itself is the success. And so, I would say, if you're there and you don't even know what to pray, that that right there is part of your relationship with God. "God, you're so important to me that I'm just here. I'm just going to sit here. In my busy schedule, all this stuff going on, I'm here." And that decision, as simple as it might seem, is so practical because you recognize, no matter what I feel or don't feel, this time mattered to me, and it mattered to God.

So, for me, I, I go about prayer two ways. And I, this works for me, okay? Not saying this is the formula or this is the way to do it. But there's two ways I do it. I take it the spiritual approach, kind of what, what Mr. Britt was saying, is just you just wait and you just worship the Lord. Um, again, this is what worked for me. First, I start off with worship. Doesn't matter how long I do it. It could be five minutes, two minutes, fifteen minutes. And then I go right into being thankful. And I thank him for everything he's done in my life. And after I've done worship and being thankful, I introduce prayers that are on my heart, my family, my friends, my life. And then I wait. I just wait. And so, in this moment of waiting, I'm, myself, am being refreshed. That, that's a moment for me to say, you know what, man, I needed this. Just, Lord, just shower me with Your Love. So, I wait. And then I'll pull up some scriptures. And then I'll repeat. I'll worship, thank him, pray for my family and friends, pray for my life. I'll wait, I'll read, and I'll repeat. So, that's what works for me. Again, that's kind of how I've done it. But there's the other times where I'm just like, "I'm just going to lay right here and just cry." And it works too. That works great too.

I, I think you guys are giving such great treasures here, especially opening up about your prayer lives. And I would actually agree with everything you're saying in terms of how it looks. But one of the pieces I would give to people in terms of advice is, is you can take all of this and then just be spirit-led. Because I know for myself, I would try to put it in a script. Or like Steve was referring to, I like that you said it's not a formula. Every time is going to be different. There will always be elements of these various different things you're describing. But ultimately, it's going to be by the Holy Spirit. Sometimes he'll cause you to begin with contemplation, which is just reading the word and letting it settle in your mind and heart. Then there's adoration. This is worship, praising him, blessing him, thanking him. Then there's supplication. This is those prayer requests that you're making. And there's going to be a combination of all. Sometimes it's confrontation. This is where you're rebuking demonic power and breaking chains by spiritual prayers. And then there's intercession. Intercession, this is praying over others on their behalf, going before the Lord. And so, all of these different elements are, of course, present. And we have to be led by the Spirit as we move through these different realms of prayer. And he will certainly always guide us.

Thank you, gentlemen. It's been very insightful and exciting sitting with you talking about prayer. And thank you for joining us for this episode of The Encounter Podcast. Until next time, remember, nothing is impossible with God.