9 Life-Changing Lessons From Marcus Aurelius

You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think. Waste no more time arguing what a good person should be. Be one.

The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes that. These are the private thoughts of a man who ruled almost the entirety of the known world. A man surrounded by power and greed and corruption and pain and loss and struggle and stress. I'm talking about Marcus Aurelius, the philosopher king. Marcus Aurelius's meditations and Marcus Aurelius's life are two incredible guideposts to how to be a good person and how to have a good life. And in today's video, I want to share what I think are the most powerful lessons from the last great emperor and philosopher king, Marcus Aurelius.

Marcus Aurelius had a great morning routine. Again, he didn't have to. He could have stayed in bed all day. He could have conducted his business from bed. Instead, we see him in the pages of meditation, specifically book five, getting up early, but still struggling with it, right? Cuz he is a human being. He writes, you know, at dawn when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself, I have to get up, get after it, do my job as a human being. But then, like all of us, he has this little back and forth. He goes, "But it's so warm here under the covers." And he says, "Is that what you were made for? To huddle under the covers and be warm, or you push here to do something, to be someone, to make a difference in this world?"

So, one of the things Marcus Reelis teaches us is even though he didn't have to, even though he was stressed, even though sometimes he was sad, even though he was going through stuff, even though sometimes it didn't feel like it made a difference, he gets up early and he gets after it. He says like the dogs and the birds and the bees and all the animals in the world going about their tasks, doing their job, doing what their nature demands. And so we have Marcus Reis getting up and getting after it, sitting with his journal, reading his philosophy, sitting in meetings, judging cases, leading the Roman army, doing the job, trying to make the world a better place. That's Markis' morning routine. Owns the morning. He gets up. He gets after it. He does not huddle under the blankets and stay warm and neither should you.

Look, although Marxis was extremely powerful. Although he had a lot of power over other people, he was still a human being and fundamentally the Stoics tell us the reality about being a human being is that some stuff is in your control and some stuff is not in your control. And that means having to accept and deal with feeling like you're stuck, like there's an obstacle, like there's a problem. And what Marcus Aurelius wanted to remind himself of and us is that yeah one path might be closed but there's always another one open. This is his famous passage that although things can get in our way and cause problems for us we always have the ability says to accommodate and adapt and adjust. We he says the mind converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting. Then his famous line which I built my book the obstacle is the way around. He says, "The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way."

Marks realist isn't saying that nothing can stop you. Things can definitely stop you. There are problems. You're going to run out of this. Someone's going to do that. Something's going to become impossible. But there's always a new thing that's possible. There's always an opportunity to practice virtue. There's always an opportunity to practice creativity, to do something different. You're stopped in one area, but there are other areas open. Now, those might not be the ones you wanted to go in. Those might not be the ideal ones, but they are nevertheless an opportunity. Right? And the Stokes would say an opportunity to practice virtue, to practice excellence, to change, to grow, to learn, to do something hard, to get better. Basically, stoicism is you don't control what happens, you control how you respond to what happens. That's what stoic philosophy is. And even the emperor of Rome is having to come to terms with this. One policy wouldn't be possible. One project wouldn't be possible. His opponent would do X. his children would do. Why? The weather would not cooperate, right? Things happen. One door shuts, but a window remains open. Someone gets in your way. Someone is a jerk. Someone prevents something. Sure, but they can't stop you from being patient. They can't stop you from practicing forgiveness. They can't stop you from going in a new direction, from changing your mind, from trying something new. They can't stop you from growing from this, from learning from this. And no one can stop us, the Stoics say, from accommodating and adapting and changing and integrating, taking this obstacle and being better for having wrestled with it.

Look, Marcus Ris could do a lot. No one could really make him do anything. So, what he had to do, what he had to practice was discipline. He's like a lot of us. We know what we should do. We know what we could do. We have the information. The problem is we have to actually do it. Can't procrastinate. We can't put it off. Mark really his famous line in meditations. He says, "Look, you could be good today. Instead, you choose tomorrow." He's saying that he, like us, puts stuff off. We say, "I I'll get started on that diet in the new year. I'll start my novel when my kids start first grade. I'll start cleaning the house this weekend." We don't say we're never going to do it. We say we're going to do it tomorrow. And the problem is if you're not the kind of person who will do it today, you're probably not the kind of person who's going to do it tomorrow. So Marcus Realist is having to remind himself in meditations that we have to remind ourselves to do is that it's not about later, it's about now. Senica, who lives before Marcus Realist, would say that this is the one thing all fools have in common. They're always putting stuff off, right? They're always getting ready to start. What a stoic has to do, what a leader has to do is do it. Not later, now. Get started now. You do things action by action, step by step. Mark Strley says in meditations, not because they make you, not because there's some payoff in the future, but because you're the kind of person that does the hard thing now. Not later, but now. No one can stop you from taking that first step. But you're the only one who can take it.

My favorite story about Mark Sharis comes at the depths of what's known as the Antonine plague. This horrible pandemic that kills millions of people. It doesn't last for a couple of years like the most recent pandemic, but like a decade and a half. Rome's economy is devastated. People are dying in the streets. Everyone is feeling like it is as bad as it can get and it can't possibly get better. And so what does Marcus Aurelius do? Does he run away and hide? Does he scapegoat someone else as Nero did during the great fire of Rome? No. He walks through the imperial palace and begins to mark things for sale. For 2 months, he sells on the lawn of the imperial palace the emperor's jewels and robes and couches, the finery owned by his wife. He was trying desperately to raise money for the empire because the economy had come to a standstill. He was also sending a message. She was saying, "I'm not going to put myself first." He's not Marie Antuinette, let them eat cake. He's saying, "I don't need these fancy things. Not when other people are struggling." He says, "I'm going to try to do something that makes a difference, even if it's not a big one." This is like a CEO who agrees to take a pay cut instead of doing layoffs. This is like an athlete that renegotiates their contract so the team can bring on new people. This is like in the Marine Corps how the leaders eat last, right? Leaders sacrifice and struggle. They put their people first, not their own comfort and needs. In fact, one of the other lines in meditations is Marcus Aurelius referencing the the ancient Spartans, he said when the Spartans would sit down for a meal with someone, they would put the stranger in the shade and they would sit in the sun. Right? They would put them in the more comfortable place and then they would take the uncomfortable place. And that's what greatness is. That's what justice is. That's what leadership is. That's why I love this story from Marcus Aurelius.

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Look, you might think that it would be fun to be the emperor. You might think it would be nice to have all these people looking to you for advice, to be in control of so many things. The other way to think about is that this would be very stressful. It would fill you with anxiety. Think about how anxious Markus must have been given all the things that go wrong in his reign. He buries multiple children. Like half of his children die. There's a passage in meditations where he says, "Look, your child is sick." Like they're coughing. You can't let your mind run rampant. He says, you can't extrapolate this out that there that it's going to be the worst case scenario. And look, there would have been a perfectly reasonable reason that his mind would go there in that it did happen to him tragically, terribly, multiple times. But he's understanding, he's reminding himself that ultimately as human beings, we have to live in the present moment and that anxiety makes us miserable. So we actually see Mark talk about anxiety and talk quite openly about his anxiety. the the fundamental conclusion he comes to which is the powerful lesson for all of us is that things don't cause the anxiety we are the cause of the anxiety so he writes in this one famous passage he goes today I escaped my anxiety and he goes no no no that's not quite right he says no today I disguarded my anxiety because it was within me which is right you think about all the things that make you anxious all the things that stress you out all the things that upset you all the things that worry about you what do they all have in common. The one common variable is you. You and your relationship to them. You wanting them to go a certain way. You needing them to go a certain way. You hoping they will go a certain way. You stressing, forcing, trying to make them go a certain way. You are the common variable. And so if you want to be less anxious, you have to let go of that anxiety. You have to let go of that desire to control. Even when you are powerful, even when you do care a lot, even when you love them a lot, even when it would be really bad if something happened, you have to be able to detach just a little bit because in worrying about the future, you are depriving yourself of the present moment. That's something the Stoics talk about all the time. That's what Markx is saying when he's worried about his kid. Right now, they're okay. Be with them now. Be here with them now. Don't be with where this could end up down the road. Anxiety is something that is up to you. You have to work on it. You have to discard it. You can't blame it on anyone or anything else.

It can be so easy to glamorize the ancient past, right? People love philosophy then. They built these cool buildings. You know, things were calmer then, less noisy then. No. The ancient world was a rough place and it was filled with rough and obnoxious and difficult people. And Markx really had to experience them just like we do. One of the most interesting passages in meditations is the opening to book two. And tell me if this sounds familiar. He says, "When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself the people I will deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and sirly." Right? He's saying that it's an ugly world out there and people do ugly, annoying, obnoxious things. But Marcus Aurelius doesn't let this get to him. his famous line about how the obstacle is the way. He is talking mostly about difficult people, people who get in our way. People presenting obstacles and trials and tribulations. But he's saying even in this there is an opportunity to actually practice this philosophy. It's an opportunity to be good in spite of other people to be just in the face of injustice to be temperate in the face of intemperance might not be rewarded. It might not be appreciated but it's the challenge for you to rise and meet. and his line about how people are difficult. He's saying first off, you can't let this surprise you. You can't let it catch you off your guard. Can't let it disappoint you. And he says, "But you also can't let it implicate you in ugliness." He says, "All of us are meant to work together. These people are doing their job. Their job is to be an annoying person. Their job is to be an obstacle. And your job is to not let that obstacle stop you. to not let that obstacle make you worse. To not let that obstacle make you disregard your principles, but to be good and just and fair and kind, self-controlled in spite of it. That's the challenge that we must rise to meet. That's what we get better for wrestling with. Marcus Aurelius, although he didn't always like or appreciate how other people were, he strove not to resent them. Instead, he used them to become better.

Okay, look, it would be a busy job to be the emperor of Rome. A lot to do, a lot going on, an endless to-do list. But one of the lessons Marcus Curelius can teach us is how we are often busy to no purpose. He says that we have to ask ourselves in everything we're doing and saying and thinking, is this essential? He says because most of what we do and say is not essential. And he says when we eliminate these inessential things, what we get is the double benefit of doing the essential things better. Most of what other people are doing, most of what people asked us to do, most of what we used to do, most of the ways we've always done things, we don't actually need to do it. It's not important. If you suddenly found out you were dying tomorrow, you would almost certainly not do it. If you weren't getting paid for it, you'd probably not do it. If you found out that your boss didn't care or wasn't paying attention, maybe you would stop doing it. The the point is, a lot of this stuff is pointless. A lot of this stuff is just inertia. A lot of this stuff is just social expectations. And so you got to eliminate those inessential things so you can do the essential things better. Marcus Aurelius is talking about from hard one experience the power and importance of saying no, of being disciplined about what you say yes to, of being rigorous about efficiencies so you value your time properly, so you direct your efforts properly. So ask yourself, is this essential? Do I need to be doing it? Am I doing it the best way to do it? Am I doing it the way that it needs to be done? And when we say this, we should pair things down, get to the essential, and do those as if they matter.

When you're good at something, when you're in a position of power or influence, it's easy to just do things the way that you like to do them. To go, "Hey, I'm I'm pretty great. That's what I do. That's who I am." But this form of complacency means that you're not actually getting better. One of the interesting passages in meditations Mark talks about he says practice using the res in your non-dominant hand. He was talking about getting outside of his comfort zone trying things in a new way. Right? So stoicism is this philosophy about seeking out challenges about doing hard things. Denica talks about treating the body rigorously so that it's not disobedient to the mind. I think that's what Marx really is saying. He said, "Don't do it the comfortable way. Do it the uncomfortable way." And in challenging yourself, you get better and stronger. So, it's not just the obstacles that life throws at you, but also seeking out obstacles. And I imagine it was pretty easy for the emperor to get comfortable, to get in a rut, to never be challenged, to never be in any way inconvenienced. And this is probably why he is actively taking those steps. It's probably why he hunted. It's probably why he exercised. It's probably why he wrestled with complex topics. Actually, one of my favorite stories about Markx really has him being seen leaving the palace as an old man. The friend stops him and says, "You know, where are you going?" And he says, "I'm off to see sexist the philosopher to learn that which I do not yet know." His point is, even though he could have made his teachers come to him, and certainly no one was making him go to class, it's an old man. He is actively seeking out not just things he wants to learn about, but things he doesn't know anything about. Here he is taking the reigns in his non-dominant hand and going off to see sexist the philosopher. This keeps us humble. This keeps us hungry. This keeps us young in a way. We have to stay a student. We have to disavow comfort and familiarity. We have to get out of that rut. We have to always be learning and growing.

And Marcus really teaches us that the most powerful lesson that Marcus can teach us is about the ephemererality of life. As I opened this video with, he says, "You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and thick." This is the stoic lesson of momento my death was everywhere in Marcus Realis's life. Not just from the Antonine plague, not just from the terrible infant mortality that wres havoc on his family, but he loses his father. He loses teachers. Rome was a brutal place. Everyone that's ever been born will die. That is tragic and sad, but it also gives us urgency and perspective. One of the things Mark Ruiz tries to remind himself in meditations is that right now your life is what matters. Postumous fame, legacy, none of that really matters. He tries to go, "Hey, who remembers the name of this emperor or that emperor that came before me? Does it matter that this one conquered this territory and that one conquered that territory?" No. Especially if they were cruel and vicious, reckless and irresponsible, right? What matters is who you are now and how you live your life. Do you live well? You treat people well. Do you live a life of virtue and calm and philosophical principle? That's what Marcus Reis tried to do. Even as the emperor, even in the midst of a plague, even in the midst of all the things that are happening, life is short. We can't take tomorrow for granted. That's why he's saying we can't procrastinate. And we should remember the lesson that death has to teach us, which is humility, that we are not in control, that we are here for a brief instant. The world is largely indifferent to us even if we're the emperor, even if we're powerful, even if we're important, even if we're famous. Momento mori. And it was said that a slave would whisper this in the ear of the emperor as they marched in triumph through Rome. A reminder, you're not special. You're not actually a god. You are subject to the same laws and the same inevitability that all of us are subject to. Don't forget it. Keep your mind fixed on it. Meditate on it regularly. And then, as Markx really says, let that determine what you do and say and think.

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