Transcription
Happy Chinese New Year. This is what your Chinese zodiac sign says about you.
So, for those of you that are not familiar with Chinese zodiacs, it's basically like western horoscopes/ astrology except you have the same zodiac as everyone born in the same year as you instead of like a specific day. So, it's way more general. And in case you don't know what your Chinese zodiac is, you can check this chart on screen right now to see generally what your zodiac is depending on the year. This chart is basically accurate except if your birthday is in like January. If your birthday is in January, I would maybe just like Google your birthday and Chinese zodiac because in the Chinese year doesn't end the same as the western year. Just, just, just Google it. Google it. Find it. Come back to this video.
This is what your Chinese zodiac says about you. And in case you think this doesn't apply to you because you're not Chinese, you are. You are Chinese now. I'm giving you the Chinese past.
If your Chinese zodiac is the rat, then you're scheming. You're a schemer, which I personally respect because I am also a schemer. Not you're the rat, but also a schemer. People would describe you as like an adaptable person, intelligent, strategic. Um, you're likely pretty good with money or systems, and generally you're a pretty perceptive person, but you are also a pretty anxious person. You're like the type of person that'll Venmo request your friends for eating like three of your French fries and then like calculate the amount to Venmo them by the price that you paid for the French fries divided by how many exact French fries there were. But you're not crazy, right? Like that sounds insane to some people, but like you're not you're not that precise, okay? Like if you get like not a round number, you will round down, okay? Because you're a relaxed person and you're not anxious at all. It's just you trying to be exact, which is also a phrase that you use a lot or you think about a lot. You tend to think that most adults are financially illiterate and that that explains a lot of issues in their personal lives and also in society. And you're probably right. You're also the type of person that's not able to relax or do anything for the entire day because they have like a minor errand or appointment scheduled halfway through the day. Like if you have a dentist appointment at 3 p.m., you are like that you can't do anything before 3 p.m. You can't do anything at it's over for you. If there's a package arriving sometime today, oh, you are you're screwed. The whole day is ruined. You enjoy lowballing people on Depop or eBay or Facebook Marketplace. Or like if you've never done that before, try it. I think you'd like it. Not even because you're broke or you need to like save money, but it's about like winning the transaction to you.
If your Chinese zodiac is the ox, then people would describe you as someone that's hardworking, reliable, patient, and able to push through a lot of things. You're the type of person that can endure suffering and you're able to like suffer in silence and like not tell anyone about it. But it also means that you're the type of person that'll like stick it out at like a bad job that's killing you or like taking advantage of you, but you just like you just tough it out for like way longer than you should because you don't like to quit. You won't tell people that you think burnout is proof of character because that's not socially acceptable to say anymore. But you're also the type of person that will tell people, "Oh my god, you won't believe how many hours I had to work last night." Or like, "Oh my god, I did overtime all weekend." And as mentioned from before, this is combined with the fact that you don't like to ask for help ever. Um, to your to your own detriment. Like I don't know if it's because you think it's embarrassing or like you don't know how to or both, but also because as we said, you won't tell people because it's not socially acceptable anymore. But like in your heart of hearts, you kind you do kind of think that suffering is a badge of honor, but that makes you take on more than you can handle. And then later, you're kind of like overwhelmed. And then you're just like, well, I guess I guess it's just me handling everything again. Even though even though you did that to yourself, you're the type of person that has a very specific order for each type of cuisine. So like what I mean by this is let's say you go to a Mexican restaurant, right? Regardless of what the Mexican restaurant is, you will get like let's say your order is fish tacos. So, if you go to a Mexican restaurant, it doesn't matter what they're known for. It doesn't matter if there's a seasonal change or there's a menu change. Mexican restaurant, I'm getting the fish taco. Or it might be like Italian restaurant, it doesn't matter which Italian restaurant. It doesn't matter where we are, I get the spaghetti bolognese. That's my Italian restaurant order. Okay? Or like Thai restaurant, I get the pad thai. It doesn't matter if there's they change the menu. It doesn't matter if my friends want something else. If they're known for something else, it it's like law to you. Like this is like this is this this is this.
If your Chinese zodiac is the tiger, then people might describe you as someone that's assertive, charismatic, but also deeply wildly impulsive and willing to do risky, unnecessary things. You're the type of person that will say and has said in the past it before making a decision that's altered several lives. Also, you don't get embarrassed. You are allergic to embarrassment. You will yell at the top of your lungs in public if like a friend dared you to. Like you're not scared of cringe. Cringe fears you. "I am so scared." You love competitive suffering. Like you're on your David Goggins hustle bro grindset. You know, like life is a series of battles to you. Being in pain, preferably self-induced pain. Um, possibly in the form of a deeply grueling gym workout. You're also the type of person that has to get the last word in in a discussion or an argument. Like it's important to you to win the argument. Even if halfway through you realize you're actually in the wrong, like you're like, "Oh, maybe maybe I'm wrong about this." You just won't admit it. Like, you'll just stick to your side. Even if you realize you don't actually believe it anymore, just out of principle. Because admitting you're wrong is admitting defeat, and your pride won't let you do that.
If your zodiac sign is the rabbit, then you're probably someone that really values getting along with others. But in the modern day, this might just manifest as being just a little bit too much of a people pleaser. You're the type of person that will avoid conflict as much as possible until it becomes physically unavoidable. Like, you will bend ass over backwards to like deeply inconvenience yourself in every way possible just to avoid mild conflict, which honestly totally understandable, just like me. I'm not a rabbit, but I I I understand that. But obviously that's kind of bad cuz it's like inconvenient to you. But also you're like the type of person that's willing to rearrange your entire personality to suit the other person or keep the peace. But then you'll look back on it and then like be like, "Oh, in retrospect, I regret doing that." You're a bit socially anxious or like a lot a lot socially anxious. Socially perceptive, let's say. You may or may not rehearse phone calls in your head before you make them. You're also the type of person that'll say it's okay to people even if it's not and you're mad about it. But yeah, you you just won't say it out loud. You're always worried that a friend or like a loved one is mad at you, even if they've never they've not given you any indication that they're mad at you. Like you just have the urge to like text people out of the blue and just be like, "Hey, so I just wanted to check that you're not mad at me." Even though again, they gave you no indication whatsoever that no one is mad. No one is mad at you. You also do that thing where you can never say that you don't like someone. You're always saying something like, "It's not that I don't like them. I just think they're they're just such a strong they're just such a character, you know? They just have such a strong personality, you know? It's just not it's just not my personal cup of tea." No, just say you don't like them. You hate them. You hate their guts. It's okay. If you were alive in the 70s, you would definitely have been murdered by a serial killer purely because you're the type of person who will like agree to something that you don't actually want to do because you're scared of like confrontation or like looking like an idiot. Like if a random stranger came up to you and was like, "Oh yeah, can you come to like the back of my van with me cuz I just need like I just need a hand moving something out of it." And in your head you'd be like, "This is really sketchy. Like this is really unsafe." You will still go with them because you don't know how to say no and or like be assertive. You're also someone that's really good with aesthetics and styling and you have a good sense of style and you dress well. You also never use the big light in your house. Like you always have mood lighting on.
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If your zodiac sign is the dragon, then in traditional Chinese mythology, this means that you are destined for greatness. But in the modern day, this means that you have main character syndrome. Possibly due to a mix of cosmic factors. I don't really know. But also, most likely my hypothesis, self-fulfilling prophecy, right? Because you think that you're the dragon, hence you behave like the main character, which reinforces the idea that you're destined for greatness. You kind of get it? But also, I can't lie. Um, if I was year of the dragon, yeah, I I I would also think that I was cooler than everyone else, right? Like all the other ones are regular animals and then randomly one is just dragon. Yeah, I get it. I would have that. I would have the same ego as you. And like on the one hand, I respect your drive and ego and pride and vanity and use it to your advantage to reach your true potential, right? But on the other hand, it also means that you're really stingy with yourself and you're always like thinking you're wasting some sort of like untapped potential that you have, even if you're actually a pretty productive person in real life. Like the standard you set for yourself, you will never achieve. And also, I have no proof, but I feel like you're the type of person that's doing affirmations in the morning. Like you have a you have an affirmation as a phone wallpaper. You'd be down to go on a dating show. Not because you think you'd actually meet the love of your life there. But because you know the contestants on those things gain like 200,000 Instagram followers and you think that this will like kickstart your career into like notoriety and fame. Also, this one is obvious, but I have to say it anyway. You are totally checking yourself out on the Zoom box during the work call. Okay? Like we all kind of are, but like you especially.
Your zodiac sign is the snake. Then you could be described as a private person to say the least. Uh, possibly controlling towards both yourself and to others. Also, for the record, I am year of the snake. So I am also putting myself on blast for this one. Uh, snake people are described in traditional Chinese mythology as being wise, composed, strategic, and intuitive. But in the modern day, this manifests as being like a really bad texter who ghosts people a lot. It's a little bit like if an Irish goodbye was a person, that person would be year of the snake. You will kind of just dip a social event any chance you get. I can attest to this because I just did I just pulled this the other day and I will do it again if necessary. You kind of enjoy when people trauma dump on you. Like a stranger that you met like 20 minutes ago. Like, yeah, like tell tell me why you and your dad don't get along. Like, I want to know. And then this one might feel contradictory to what I said earlier, but you're also the type of person that feels like you can connect with anyone and like ask good, thoughtful questions, but then you also feel like no one genuinely connects with you. So, you're like the type of person that can like enjoy a nice conversation with someone and like really be in the moment, but then like afterwards you go home and then you lie awake at night and be like, "Damn, no one understands me." You would lie about things that you don't need to lie about. Like, not even maliciously, but because you're like, I'm just going to not I'm just going to like withhold that just because I can. Um, and also because you don't need to know, but also I'm just going to not tell you just in case, you know? Just in case, what? You know, you're not in a spy film.
If your zodiac sign is the horse, the horse is like the hippie of the zodiac signs, right? But like a hippie on ADHD medication, like a horse on Ritalin. Energetic, independent, uh restless. You hate routines. Um, you're probably someone that thinks the idea of a 9-to-5 is worse than death. But you're also actually like kind of a wild card about it because while everyone says that they hate their job at some point, right? You are the type of person that would actually follow through when they say they hate their job and they want to quit. Like I believe that you would actually fully crash out, quit your job, move to the mountains, become a sherpa. Like I think you would pull it off, too. You're always in the process of like reinventing yourself. Like you're always trying on a new aesthetic or like a new identity. So for example, one week you might be like, "Oh yeah, I'm really into minimalism now." And then you proceed to like throw away all of your stuff. And then your minimalism phase lasts like two weeks before you're like, "Fuck, I want my stuff back." You don't mean to ghost people or like leave texts unresponded to, but like you just kind of keep putting off responding or like forgetting responding and then by the time you remember or like have the energy to respond, you put it off for like so long it's already like kind of up or like really awkward if you actually respond. So, you're kind of like forced to just leave the text unresponded to.
If your zodiac is the goat/sheep, then you are someone that is deeply in touch with your emotions. You're a kind person who's emotionally porous, which also means that you are the type of person that would most likely be stuck in a long-suffering situationship with someone that doesn't really like you that much because you're the type of person that will romanticize anyone that gives you basic human decency. Like, you're watching Crystal's relationship videos and taking taking uh lecture notes, you know? Every small gesture is assigned to you and like you are at any given moment attached to someone who is just deeply deeply emotionally unavailable. So like someone will not text you back for maybe 2 hours and you'll get like so hurt. Like you'll be like, "Fuck, they hate me. Oh my god, it's so over. I knew it. They didn't like me at all." You're listening to sad songs. "Oh my god, this world is so cruel." And then the person will like respond to you and be like, "Oh, sorry. I was on the subway. There was no signal." And then you'll be like, "Oh, you either drew anime or wrote fanfiction or like read fanfiction as a young teenager." Like you definitely had OCs. Um, which definitely had dramatic side profiles with like wind blowing through their hair. All tragic backstories, obviously.
Your zodiac sign is the monkey. Then you are also a little schemer. You're scheming. You're fun. I like you. You're the type of person that works smarter instead of harder. But you're also the most likely out of all the zodiac signs to tell people that you're a former gifted kid. And that's because you had done well in school in the younger years because you could coast off of your natural intelligence. But because of that, it meant that you never really had to learn how to study. And so your natural talents will run out as you age. And now you call yourself a burnt out former gifted kid. You're also the type of person that's always like hyperfixated on some new hobby every month. Like one month it's learning German or like making sourdough and you Google everything about it and you get like all of the nice equipment, you understand everything, maybe you read articles, you watch the videos, you read the books, right? But then one day suddenly out of the blue with like no warning whatsoever, you lose all interest in it and you never do it again. You love oversharing. Like you you are always you love to yap. Like you are oversharing and then afterward you get post-yap clarity and then realize that you overshared and you're like, "I don't know why I don't know why I said all that." You might also be the type of person that likes to argue for sport. Like you think it's fun. You love a little debate. Like you don't even feel strongly about the topic at hand, but you just kind of think it's fun and you're contrarian. You love those hypothetical would you rather questions and you like to escalate them.
If your zodiac sign is the rooster, then you are the most likely out of the 12 signs to use the big light in your house. The big light as in like the huge fluorescent ceiling lights. According to traditional Chinese mythology, people who are rooster signs are precise, organized, and confident. But in the modern day, this kind of just means that you have like HR corporate middle manager energy. I'm sorry, but just in the sense that like you have high standards for like both yourself and for other people. But like when people don't meet your standards, you're always trying to like address it in that kind of detached formal way. Like you might be like, "Hey, I'm just circling back on this." Or like, "Hey, I noticed that you didn't do this thing." As opposed to just like coming out and saying what it is that they bothered you. Your personality is basically that post that's like when girls are about to like break up with you and suddenly they start speaking like they're in HR using phrases like, "I will reach back out to you in due time." If you watch a movie, then you have to log it on Letterbox. And if you read a book, then you have to log it on Goodreads. You never skip. It's like civic duty to you. You're the type of person that will schedule out time for like an emotional breakdown. Like setting an alarm for yourself to cry to and then once it goes off, you like stop crying and like get back to work. Which honestly, props to you for good time management.
If your zodiac sign is the dog, then like the saying goes, a man's best friend, you are a deeply loyal person, but like in the legit way, right? So like not in the wishy-washy I'm friends with everyone way, like not in the Switzerland way. Like if someone in your circle hates someone, then you also hate them too, right? Like you're loyal to your side, to your in-group, which is an incredible trait to have. It probably means that you're a great friend, but sometimes it also means that you're loyal to your own detriment. Like it might mean that you're too good to people who don't really give you the same thing back. You're probably the person texting first, which you usually don't mind except for like when you suddenly become conscious of it randomly and then you like rethink every relationship you've ever had or like whether or not if if I didn't text them first, would this person would this person ever text me back if I didn't text them first? Your version of post-nut clarity is like giving someone who doesn't deserve it too much time and commitment. Um, like honestly, you're you're kind of tired of caring this much and like taking care of some poor sob story basket case all the time, but like you also just can't help it. You probably have actual skills. So what I mean by actual skills is like not skills like me, like internet online ass computer social media skills, like body of a graphic designer type skills. You have skills like you can fix a broken sink or like adjust the water pressure. Um, I don't know how to do basically.
And finally, if your zodiac sign is the pig, then you're someone that enjoys the finer things in life. And not just in like the really obvious way of like food because it's the pig, but like also in the way that you enjoy life, but you're also a generous person. You're warm and you're generally optimistic and forgiving. Like you're not the type of person to argue about the bill or like even if you think the other person is wrong, you'll just kind of like you just kind of like let it go, you know? Or like you'll tip even if you thought the service wasn't that good. Like a little bit of money is not worth causing a big fuss to you, which I personally admire. What that also means is that you are also the most likely to be susceptible to email scams because you're generally a pretty trusting person and frankly a little too optimistic about other people's intentions. Like if you get one of these emails, you would just be like, "But why would they lie? He told me he urgently needs money. I would always help a Nigerian prince in need." You are also likely to have the most enviable trait of all. Like the trait that I envy the most, which is that you are probably not ironic. If there's a corny pop song you like or like a cheesy romcom, you like it. You don't have to pretend not to like it or pretend to like it and be like, "Oh, yeah." But it's like I just like just like it ironically, you know? Like wink wink wink, you know? You just say it with your whole chest. And damn, do I wish I could do that, but since I made this YouTube video about what your sign says about you, you already know that my ass can.
And before the video ends, just remember that whatever you're doing, the Chinese have already done it at a slightly more outrageous pace. High-speed rail, Chinese have done that. Tech project, Chinese have done that. Even the arbitrary assigning of personality traits based on birth time. Because while western astrology has people making fun of it because just because you're born on the same day doesn't mean you have the same personality, the Chinese take it one step further and tell you that actually you have the same personality as everyone born in the same year as you. And that truly is the spirit of being Chinese in this very Chinese time.