Going to be talking about three of three broad areas. We're going to be talking about language patterns in terms of the meta model, the Milton model, and something called chunking. Now, ready? This is the agenda for today.

We're going to go through the meta model, but before we do that, we're going to talk about the basis of all language patterns and the basis of of um every coaching, but also I always want you to think about yourself as a person as well. So, yes, we're going to be coaches, but think about yourself as well. We're then going to go through the Milton model. We're then going to talk about a fantastic tool which is chunking up and chunking down. And then we're going to do a bit of a practice as always.

Okay. So the first thing I want to start our whole session about is one of the most fundamental things that I think that I I think if you have this nailed and you think about this for yourself but for your clients as well, it is going to be not just a game changer for you but also a different way that you see the world. So in NLP, what NLP does, NLP recognizes that humans, each one of us, recognizes and organizes the world in a hierarchy which is called the neurological levels. And when we understand these levels and each of these levels, it starts helping us think about the way the client sees the world, but also the way you see the world. And also, like you've all said, the language, the language that they're going to be saying or exhibiting is going to indicate which part of the pyramid they are.

So this model here was defined or was created by Robert Dilts. You're going to think about, you're going to hear a lot about it if you do NLP. And basically, what it says is that human experience, each one of us, our experience happens in six different connected levels from the surface behavior um to deep purpose and identity. So as we go through this, we're going to go through each one of these layers here. I'm going to different slide here.

So right at the bottom, right at the bottom, you've got environment. The environment is where and when something happens. It's the external context. When we go up there, we then have behavior. Behavior is, you've got the environment. What are the actions that happen in that environment? So behavior is what you can see, what you can hear, what you can touch, what you can feel. So this is observable. The next thing is capabilities or strategies. How things are done. What skills people have and what strategies. We then go up to beliefs. So we go environment, behavior, capabilities, beliefs. Okay. So the beliefs are why actions are taken. What is the motivation and why people do the things they do? What's what's behind that there? Then on top of beliefs, you have something called identity. Who the person is. It is about them. Okay? Then the purpose is what is the biggest purpose that this person has in their life?

So the way you think about this is the changes at the higher level. So the purpose, the identity, beliefs always starts on the bottom. So you've got to. So basically, let me say that again. If you change the top, the bottom will change. But if you change the bottom, the top doesn't change automatically. Okay? So if you look at this um pyramid here, you see on the side here, you have constitute going that way there. So the environment, consil, behaviors, identity, gives you the purpose. However, if you have your definition of purpose sorted, then everything else filters downwards.

Let me give you an example. Let me give you an example. Our environment, let's just say I want to go to the gym. I want to become healthy. This is what I want to do. I look around my environment and I just see junk food everywhere. Ah, junk food everywhere. This is what I take away the junk food. It's all gone. That does not mean my behavior is going to change. Even though my environment has changed, the behavior doesn't automatically change. Flip the script. And if I go, my purpose in life is to live a bit longer and healthier and be the best version of myself for XY Z, then my identity change. I'm going to be a healthy person. I believe I can be healthy. I have the capability and skills. Therefore, my behavior changes. Therefore, my environment changes. So top down is more powerful than um down up. Okay. And if you think about coaching, most coaching, the transformational coaching happens when we think about identity, belief, and purpose. That's where transformation happens. When a client comes to you, a client is going to be speaking to you about environment, behavior, capabilities. Those are the words that they're going to be using. Those are the things that they're going to be saying. Those are things that they're going to be working on.

Now, let's break this down even further. If we think about this p this pyramid and we think about any coaching scenario that you have had, think about the languaging that the that they have the clients have had and you think about the clients, the languaging they've had. Where do you think if you're just observing this, where do you think um you could or what kind of questions would you need to ask to get them to a different level? And we're going to go through each one of these. The key thing to think about as we go through this here is none of this happens unless we think about the client's values and our values as well.

So if we break it right down, values are important to every single one of us. There are motivations. So think about your clients. They're the motivations for your clients which drive their decisions and their actions. So whatever my values are, they're going to drive them. And what's important in a coaching session or when you're coaching your client over x amount of weeks is to think about and figure out what their values are. Values operate in two ways. They're either towards values. Those are people that people want to values people want to go towards. They are growth values or away from values. People people that um these are values we want to avoid and tend to go away from. So for example, a towards value is if we use our health fitness one for example, our towards value is I want to be able to run 10ks. That's a toward, that's a growth value. And a wave value is I want to lose 10 kgs. Do you see the difference? One is I'm going towards, a growth is going to be growth. One is coming away. So what I've just said right now, those are those are statements, but the value is in there. The value for the person is the client wants to get fitter, healthy, or whatever they want to do. And the other way, why does the client want to lose 10 kgs? What is actually going on in their face? Why is it in a way? Oh, if I have 10 kgs, or I feel rejected, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever that is. The way that is the languaging that you're going to pick up. When you can pick up what when your client is either going towards or in a way value, it's going to help and shift the way you do your coaching.

Now, this all sounds awesome. However, sometimes values conflict. Okay? So for example, there might be a person, and this might be you or me sitting here. They value security, but in the same sentence, they also value adventure. And they come to you because they want to change their job. There's a conflict right there. Which of the values is actually the value? Is it security, adventure? So client, you want to change your jobs, but you value security and you value adventure. Let's break it right down. So then as a as a coach, you're going to work through that there.

Now, the reason I talk about values because values underpins every single thing in this in this pyramid here. It also underpins every single thing that we do in life. Now, for those of you um like Dell said and Karen have done an NLP program, there are techniques to teach you how to get values. In the ICF program, we don't teach you how to do that there because that is not a limit. But if you do want to learn about that, um it's a pretty, there's some pretty awesome tools out there to think about values and how you can do values.

Okay. So, I'm going to just talk about a couple of things here as well. So, we have the values. The other thing that's really, really strong and really affects us are beliefs. So last week we spoke about beliefs, basically a little bit. But a belief is a generalization we make about ourselves, a generalization we make about others, and a generalization we make about the world. That is just a belief, and they act as filters for our perceptions. So think about last week, we spoke about perceptions, and they determine how we come out. So for example, I believe I'm not good enough. That is a belief that I have about myself. I believe that Dell is the most awesome person in the whole wide world. How do you know that? I don't know. I just believe that. I have there's no other, there's nothing. There's just I believe that there. So why? Because I have I have created this filter in my will to believe that there. There's no evidence that there, which is where you challenge that there.

And the way you think about this is recognize three different three different languages around belief. The first belief, this is around your clients. The first one is belief about capability. And the language you're going to hear from your clients is I can or I cannot do X. I can public speak or I cannot public speak. I can apply for that job. I cannot apply for that job. I can have the difficult conversation or I cannot have the difficult conversation. That is a belief about capability. Truly belief. In a coaching context, you're always going to be working on the ones that are the negative because somebody has got the belief of positive. You're not going to go, "Oh, give me evidence for that then and break it right down." You're going to work on the ones that have, okay, awesome. You don't have that. Tellistic about that there. So that's that's capability.

The next one is belief around possibility. X is not possible or X is possible. So for example, in in phasal's context, working in in the corporate, someone might come to go and say, "It is not possible for me to be promoted." Okay, let's think about that. What makes that true? And what do we need to be doing to make that true? Right? Then the third belief, so there's belief capability, belief about possibility, and the third one is belief about permission. And you pick this with language, languaging, which sounds like I should blah blah or I shouldn't blah blah blah. So you see capability is I can and cannot. Possibility is not possible. And the most powerful one that that's out there in the world that we that we tell ourselves is the permission. I need permission from somebody. I need permission from something. It might be a person. It might be a cultural contract. It actually might be something that you don't even know. You've just been repeating it over and over again because you've heard it. You may have heard it in your family. You may have heard it in the environment. But just the word should.

So limiting beliefs in any one of these, the capability, the possibility, or the permission, what do they do? They restrict a client's options and possibilities. And as a coach, what do we do? We identify the languaging and then we identify these patterns. What patterns are happening? So like as notion said before, this is when we interrupt or we have a have a um client reconsider them. Here's the important thing to remember about beliefs. I want you to write this down. A belief is not a fact. A belief is not a fact. They are simply decisions about meaning. They're just something this and given meaning. And here's the crazy thing is many times this is made unconsciously or subconsciously and early in life. So something has happened in our life in our, as you know, formative stages, and has made us believe this here. A belief is not a fact.

Anybody want to say anything about that or about this so far? Any ah moments here?

>> Um um you want you were asking about belief is not a fact.

>> Mhm.

>> Yeah. The question, can you repeat again please?

>> Yeah. But my question is when you hear this phrase out and you hear the phrase that a belief is not a fact.

>> Yeah. It is it is

>> sorry

>> Dr. Karan.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. It is it is just like that that we just kept few of the thoughts in our mind. We just keep few of the thoughts in our mind that no, this cannot happen to me. I cannot do this or that. So that become our pattern which I felt and uh I have already coached few of the people um in my circle where I have noticed that they have some beliefs which they are carrying past many years and uh and by that they are not getting the opportunity which they want and they actually deserve that. So their beliefs were limiting them and their capabilities to achieve that or to grab that.

>> Brilliant.

>> Brilliant. Brilliant. Here's a here's a personal question. You don't have to answer this if you don't want to. Um, but I want you to reflect on how many of you in this room here have had a belief that you believe believe and then something happened to go, "Oh, that held me back so long."

>> That's me.

>> Yeah. It's me.

>> Yeah, I had a belief. How many of you have a belief right now? That's not true.

>> Time will tell.

>> I think all of us have beliefs that we that we still have in our. None of none of us live like, let's be honest here. None of us here live our lives 100% growth mindset. There's always a belief somewhere, somewhere, you know, we might not think right now. There's a belief somewhere in our minds that we're either not good enough, we're not smart enough, or I'm not, I don't deserve s, whatever, whatever, whatever the belief is, right? It's a belief that we we've put into ourel from somewhere, somewhere. And it's okay. It's okay. We're all humans. Unless there's an AI note taken here, then you're not a human. But everyone else is a human in here. But belief,

>> sorry,

>> just go ahead.

>> Yeah, just go ahead.

>> Okay. I I believe that beliefs are shaping through our experiences. Isn't so?

>> Not always, not always.

>> Not always. Okay.

>> Not always. Not always. Because sometimes think about Okay, I'm going to give you an example. Let's just say I believe I'm not a good public speaker.

>> But never in my life have I ever public spoken. Never.

>> Never. So where did the belief come from? That belief may have come from when I was growing up. My my father may have said, "Hey, PJ, you've just got to keep quiet. You just got to keep quiet." So that story that I've been told by my father has now been percolating and I believe I'm a good public speaker. Yes, it may come from experience, but 99% of the time it's come from an experience that you don't even think about. It's it's an unconscious or a subconscious action that's happened. How many of you here have a belief that you how okay, I'm going to How many of you suffer from imposter syndrome? Every one of us, right? Believes in some context, we have imposters in them somewhere. That there's a belief that has been planted by something somewhere. And until someone calls you out or until someone brings that awareness piece into you that, "Oh, actually, I don't know why I believe that there." How many of you believe the sun will rise tomorrow? Every single day. How many of you believe that there? Karen and D are smiling because they know the sun is going to. Believe that is a fact. That is not a belie. That is a fact. That is a fact. The sun is going to rise tomorrow whether you like it or not. If it's cloud, it's going to rise. That is a fact. A belief that you can't public speak. Whatever. It can change tomorrow. Dell.

>> Um, I think Sana was first if you want. Um, but otherwise um, Sana, do you want to talk first?

>> Thank you D. Yes. Um, so I just wanted to the three languages that you said around belief, right? um about capability, possibility and then permission. I'm just kind of uh I can't see the lines like the lines are very blurry between them. Uh it could be is that so is it correct that they could be interchangeable as well because the client could be using any of those languages? For example, if they're saying "I'm not I don't feel capable enough to uh to public speak" or maybe "I should not public speak" or maybe "you know, it's not possible for me to public speak." So it could

>> amazing

>> fall in all the three categories. How do you define the lines between them?

>> Beautiful. It it could be all three. So um, great great catch there. So the reason why I put in that way there is because it comes up in any of those there. So is it capability? Is it possibility? Is it permission? And depending on each one of those, the questioning is going to change. So if it's permission, where who is this person that needs to give you permission? So I should, I, where does it come from? If it's possibility, what resources do you have? If it's capability, according to who cannot, right? So it's just the languaging that you're going to be picking up. That's all. And that's going to flick the way you answer you as the question. That's all.

>> Got it. Thank you. Thank you.

>> Beautiful.

>> So it's just back to the um question around what do you think when um you say belief is not a fact? And I think I just wanted to make a comment that actually it's really exciting to know that because it means you can change it. So if it's something that you want to change and it's something that you want to move through, then it's you can you can change it. So I think that's really cool. I mean, you can't change the sun um going up in the morning cuz that's obviously a fact, but you can change something that you believe about yourself or the client believes about themselves, which is I think really cool.

>> That was just more

>> Yeah. I I love that because again, you you can even ask a client if they go for example, "I believe I I'm going to use public speaking. I believe I'm a good public speaker." And then the client, client, is that a fact or is that reality? Simple question. It's not a fact, right? It's not a fact. And if they go, "It's a fact," you can ask for evidence for a fact.

>> Beautiful. Thanks, D. Anybody else that wants to add to this?

>> I I I just want to add few things. Um, as you said that beliefs fessel, you talked about it that beliefs actually sometimes we develop by others experiences. So we think about it that yes um uh like as you said that public speaking is difficult or you cannot do or you're not capable enough. So I think sometimes we develop with others experiences.

>> That is so true because you know the you know the saying, "You are the you are the um your picture is a basically you are representative of the five people around you." So if the five people around you don't believe they can be public speakers, you are going to be not a public speaker. If five people around you believe that they can be public speakers, you are going to be a public speaker. Simple as it there. Which is why proximity is power. Proximity is power. And whatever whatever you want to do in life, you find the proximity that's going to get you to wherever you want to go. So, for example, all of you in this in this beautiful container here, this is your proximity to become coaches. Right now, if there was anyone in here that felt there was they they didn't want to they were not here to be a coach and feel that the rest of us would lift them up very quickly because everyone feels that. But if in this room here, there's 10 of you. If nine of if nine of us in this room, you believe we weren't going to be coaches, then everyone's going to be dragged down straight away. Okay? So proximity is really powerful and like you said notion, that affects our beliefs as well because if we're around belief and conversation that there, that is going to affect it as well.

>> Josh, what advice would you have like for people who have really strong beliefs and perhaps they're uh like they're not really aware of it. So like even for for example, like I was lucky enough to go through a coaching program maybe nine years ago and I had massive limiting beliefs even within myself. I thought I could never be a vice principal. Now obviously over time that changed thanks to the help of the coach and build up my own experience and so on. But when you're in a session one to one and you can sense those really strong beliefs that people have like how do you, what advice do you have is to try and unpack that. I know it's obviously question, but like a really, really strong one.

>> Yeah. Um, I'm going to park there for a second, Mark. And hopefully through today's session, we'll we'll be able to come uncover the kind of questions you can ask. And if we haven't um, then we'll come back to it because I think it's really important. It's a really, really important statement there that you made there because sometimes within a session, a cl, it's all about awareness, right? And a client might not be aware and and may not be willing to be aware of that. So we'll come back to that. I promise you, we'll come back to that. Mark.

>> I believe I will come back to it. That's a That's a belief, not a fact.

>> Bridget, can I ask a question about um the language I

>> Nope.

>> I'm going to ask a question about

>> the language I have to do something. Is that permission?

>> I That's permission as well. I have to according to who?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. Okay.

>> Yeah. Beautiful. By the way, um Dell and Mark, last week I I told the group that if they ask if they start a question with "can I," the answer is going to be no, which is why Ela want shut down very quickly. You No, no, no. Awesome. Beauty. Um, let's go back to our picture. I'm just going to keep this picture up here because I think it just, it's a great reminder of what we're talking about today.

So the other thing I want to talk about is behavior. So I want to go through each one of these. So let's think about behavior. Now, every behavior that we do is um, we can think about the how are the how of behavior. So the way I think about it is strategies are the specific sequence of internal and external representations that lead to an outcome. So if you think about our NLP communication model from last week, we have things coming to us. We then have a conversation happening inside, and then based on that and our external behavior in our external environment, we're going to have a certain behavior. Okay, if you think about this here, this is the how of behavior. It's the physic, it's the physical and mental steps that any one of us takes towards coming towards a behavior.

Now, if you remember this here, this is nothing to write down. Every single behavior has a strategy behind it. Every single behavior. So the strategy could be decision-m, it could be motivation, it could be creativity, it could also be procrastination. Every single one of those has a strategy behind it. So when you procrastinate, what is your strategy for procrastinating? Their strategy: "I don't want to do something. I'm procrastinating. Therefore, I'm going to do blah." So what's important for you is when you are a coach or as a coach, it's important for you to start identifying what the client's strategies are so you can start aligning them and helping them to optimize more effective strategies and redesign the ineffective ones.

So for example, if you have a client that procrastinates, you're going to think, "Okay, client, so when you are procrastinate, because it's a choice, it's a choice. What are you doing instead?" Because procrastination and lazy are two different things. A lot of people interrupt. They go, "I'm lazy. I procrastinate because I'm lazy." But actually, you're not. When you are procrastinating, you're doing something else instead of doing the thing that you should be doing. So, as a cl, as a coach, you can go, "Okay, client, when you when you have blah happening and you choose to procrastinate, what are you doing instead? And at what point do you decide that blah is more important than what you have to do?"

Okay. Another one could be a decision strategy. So this might be an example of a strategy. You see an option visual. You talk to yourself about the pros and cons about the option. You generate a feeling about the option, and then you make a decision based on the strongest feeling. So let's go back to the fact that I want to be healthy. "Hey team, I want to be healthy." I have to decide in front of me. I decide there's I come home. In front of me, I there's a banana and there's banana bread in front of me. Boom. I want to be healthy. I walk in. I've got to make a decision. I see the options visually. I see a banana. I see banana bread. I then talk to myself internally about the pros and cons about each one. The pros of a banana: "I'm going to be healthy." Um, the con: "It doesn't taste very nice. Doesn't fill me up." The prop banana beard: "Oh, it's delicious. It's amazing." The con: "It's going to be healthy." In my head, subconsciously, it's happening very, very quickly, right? Very, very quickly. I then generate a feeling, a feeling about each of the options because we are humans and we go on feelings. So, my feeling is now going to go, "Oh, I feel because it's cold today, I feel that a banana bread is going to be the way I go." And then I'm going to make a decision based on the strongest feeling. That is my decision-making strategy. That's an example, right? That's just an example. But you can see how this can happen to anybody. I've gone in there. Think about this. How many of us go into a supermarket and you have all the choice here and you're like, "Oh, how do I decide?" And then you come away, you go, "Why did I buy this here?" You've decided because subconsciously this whole pattern has gone on and it's based on feeling. Something's happened to go. I feel this is going to be a good way to go. But that's my example of of a strategy. But each one of us in has a different strategy, which is why in coaching, we can't say one size fits all. It's going to be depending on the strategy that the person has.

Now again, I'm going to come back to the room as we think about this for each one of you. My question or my reflection for you, and you think about your own world and you have to make decisions. What strategy do you are you becoming aware of that you make when you've got to make a decision about something? Again, this is a safe space. You can you can think about it and say whatever you like.

>> I think my decisions are more logical than emotional a lot of the time.

>> There might be emotion behind it, but a lot of the time behind the scenes, it's all logic. Great. Now, as a coach, this is what I'll be pulling on. So, when we go through a session with Karen, it's going to be, "Okay, cool. Karen makes logical decisions." And then we're going to go, "That's what we're going to work on. We'll work on that." If Karen was an emotional person, we'll talk about the emotions. Thanks, Karen. I think proess sometimes and I I know it's it's been a limiting behavior um in my life. I make decisions based on how it will affect other people, what other people think. Uh, it's all about them first and I recognize how that sometimes has got in the way of maybe making the best. Um, sometimes it is, but sometimes it's not. That's a great great share there, Lane. So, as a as a coach, let's just say you come into a situation and you say, "Hey, hey, coach, I'm really trying to make this decision." As a coach, I'll go, "Okay, cool. How, what, what is your decision-m strategy? What, what do you decide on?" And you go, "How other people feel." Right? And as a coach, you'll talk about, "Okay, by you thinking by you or other people, how does it affect you?"

>> What are you gaining and what are you losing? That's one way to think about it. But again, each one of us makes decisions very differently. That was an example, simple example of banana and banana bread, which is not making me hungry, just saying.

>> Cool. Anyone else wants to see anything? Mine, nice to see you.

>> Same. Thank you. Sorry.

>> Is that your library? Norris. Is that your library? Oh, that is amazing. Wow, that is so so epic.

>> Yeah, I'm back at my home. I'd been traveling the last couple of weeks, so hence it was here and there. So, yeah.

>> Amazing library.

>> Thank you.

>> No, no, that's all good. That is that is all good. I'm I'm making lots of assumptions now that you might be a good reader. I could be totally wrong. I might be believing that it could be totally wrong just based on your background, right? Which goes back to what um notion said about phasal. Sometimes have assumptions. We just think if we just see things, we assume, and by assumptions, we create beliefs. So I might go on, "I believe Hubin is really smart." Now, but that belief might not be a fact. I'm not saying that you're not smart, but I'm just saying just based on your scenario, right? That's that's all that's it's as simple as that there. It's as simple as that there, and we're not conscious of that there. We're not conscious. We go, "Oh, why did we think that Mojin is so smart?" Because she was involved with lots of books. Assumption, belief, done. Boom. That's how quick things can happen. Awesome. Cool. We'll keep moving on into the next.

Now, we're going to talk about the environment. So, we try to go through each one of those layers there. The environment is the context because context matters in the environment. It represents what the external phase looks like. It's the conditions that influence our behavior and the results. So this could be a physical space. It could be other people, like I just an example I gave you just now. It could be the organizational culture. It could be time constraints. It could be resource available that makes up the environment.

Now, as coaches, it is also very, very important for us to think about the environment. Yes, we do some stuff with identity, beliefs, and capability. Very, very, very cool. But sometimes you have to think about the environment. In fact, a lot of times with the environment, because if the environment can't change, then things are much harder. But if we can change the environment, becomes much, much easier. Oops. And sometimes the easiest coaching session is just to change the environment sometimes because as clients, we don't, we're not aware of our of our environment. We just do things all the time. But you might go, "Oh, have you ever thought about?" I'll give an example. I'll give you an example of my own personal example. So during co, I don't know why, but I set up my my space so that my I was looking at a wall the whole time, looking at a wall the whole time I was doing my stuff. I was like, "This is the the best place." But I kept on getting tired and I was always grumpy. And I was like, "This is this is ridiculous." And one of my friends just said to me, "Hey, Praesh, why don't you shift your desk the other way to face the window?" Just one thing. One thing changed my whole my whole perspective, right? But I didn't see it because I just thought I had to look at the wall. I looked at the wall, changed the environment, just looked at the window, everything changed for me.

So in a in a coaching session, sometimes sometimes just one thing like that can just change things. Now, as you think about this, a great question that you can ask is, "What in your environment supports or hinders your goals?" And that one question, as you come towards the end of your of your, you know, when you go, "What are you going to be doing accountability?" That one question is going to go, "Oh, actually, yeah, I know I want to become a public speaker, but actually, I live in a place where there's no public speaking opportunities. I live so little that that doesn't happen." Okay, cool. So that's going to hinder it. So we have to think a bit about more. What do we need to be doing?

Any questions, comments, or thoughts about this here? I'm just going to go and just re go through this here. So, as I said just before, is when we think about this these this pyramid here, how do we use it in coaching? We use it when we think about the language that the client is is using. Is it going to be a skill or is it going to be self-belief? So if we go back here, is it going to be the capability, the behavior, or the environment, which is going to be skills? Or is it belief, identity, or purpose, which is going to be self-belief? Okay. When you have that there, then the coaching conversation is going looking at interventions at the right depth. So for example, if a client says to me, "I project, I don't believe, I don't believe that I can be successful," and then my whole conversation is about the environment. This is a mismatch right there. So I can change my environment. "Hey, Pesh, okay, you should you should um start posting on Instagram." Cool. Awesome. I can post as much on Instagram. But if I believe that I'm not going to be successful, I don't believe that's never going to change. I can post a million posts on Instagram, but the internal conversation is not going to be. So, which is why we think about the layer that the client is at. So, intervention has got to match where they come from. Okay. Uh, yep. And when we do that there, it starts making it start starts facilitating change.

So, for example, on the screen, we have one that goes, "The client goes, I can't focus when I study at home." This is about environment, behavior. So we look at that there, environment and behavior. But if a client is another disciplined person, that's identity level. You can see how language. So a lot of you this what at the start spoke about the words. This is where words come into real impact you because if your client, for example, if we go, "I'm not a disciplined person," and we focus on environment, behavior, no change. If the client goes, "I can't focus when I stay at home," and you focus on behavior, you're going to have lasting change because it's all about building lasting change. And I'm going to I'm going to get us to to look at the last line that we have on the screen here.

When change occurs at a high level, it naturally influences all the levels below it. So, I said that at the start, I'm going to say it again. If we change the top, if we go the top down, the change becomes easier. So if I if you always change purpose, it's going to affect identity, belief, capabilities, behave, environment. And how does it transform coaching for you as a coach? What it does is it takes away surface level conversations because like we said before, a client is going to come to most clients come to you at the bottom, the capabilities, behavior, environment, that's what they come with it. But actually, you're going to dig in and go, "Actually, what goes, what's deeper?" And as I said before, it's going to start revealing misalignments with what they say with what they believe. And it's going to help you with your reframing. It's all about reframing the conversation the client has, right?

So here are some Great questions for you to think about cuz what about questions in coaching? Surprise, surprise. Environment. Where and when does this happen? Obviously, you're not going to ask that. It's not going to do. It's going to be, "Where's where does this happen? When does this happen?" Two separate questions there. That gives you the context. The behavior. "What are you doing?" Question D. "What are you not doing?" D. Two separate questions. Okay. Always two separate questions. Capabilities. "What could you do differently?" And "What could you not do differently as well?" The beliefs. "What did you believe about yourself in this situation?" Identity. "Who are you when you do this?" And purpose. "What is this ultimately for?" So each one of those questions, when you think when you identify what level the client is coming at, you can start asking those relevant questions.

Hi, any questions, comments, thoughts, observations. Hi, Bakawa. Thank you for joining us. You've come at the right time. Cool.

>> So

>> my sorry

>> like I'm a little late. I missed much on the important news that you're

>> Nothing I say is important. Nothing I say is important. It's all just dropping. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. You can watch You can watch the first hour as a replay.

All right, team. What we're going to do is I know it's we've been on for 54 minutes. We're going to take a six minute break and come back and then we'll start the next bit. Okay, six minutes and we're back. By the way, if you have any question.

All right. So the meta model is going to be, it's basically, we're going to go over what we did last week, but it's going to be couched around the meta model. The meta model. If we think about NLP, NLP is actually um was developed by some pretty cool people long time ago. But this model here specifically was developed by someone called Richard Bandler and John Grinder. Okay? And what they did is they created this model by just studying language. They look at language patterns because by understanding and looking at language patterns, as we saw last week, it helps us identify and challenge challenge language patterns that are existing already. And here's the key thing to remember that when people communicate, as we know before, people communicate because they um they do a couple of things here. It's either vague, it's generalized, or it's distorted. And with the meta model, what we do is we use the meta model to bring back missing details. We use the meta model to bring back um assumptions that we're looking at. We use the meta model to expand perspective and choice. And by using the meta model, what do we do? We increase self-awareness and agency. This is basically the the essence of any coaching. And the meta model is what we use in NLP. And we're just going to we're going to remind us about what we learned last week. And I think it's important to remind us about what we learned last week because each one of us does this. But also every client that comes on to our uh sessions will be doing this here. And those are, as we spoke about before, it's deletion, when you when you omit important information, distortion, when you misrepresent reality, and generalization, when you apply a specific experience broadly. Okay, so that's what we learned about last week. I'm going to go over that this week.

Now, now why is it important is because these processes, all of these three processes, what do they do? They create a surface structure of what people actually say. Surface structure, what they say, which is different to the deep structure for what they actually mean. So what they say versus what they mean is very, very different because the the language they're saying is not depth. It's just removing stuff here. And the way to think about it is the meta model allows us, it gives us lots of questions to um to challenge that there, to challenge that there. And these are the questions I'm going to show you.

Deletion. Simple deletion, like we said, like I said before, when parts of a person's experience or information are missing. This is one of the most common things that we see in a coaching setting, in a setting, is a person comes in and leaves a lot of things. Client statement: "I am not happy." The meta model question in that point in time is, "What specifically makes you unhappy?" Do you notice the shift there? We're not focusing on the happy. We're focusing on the unhappiness. Right?

The second one is a comparative deletion. When a comparison is made without specifying what is compared to. "It's better now." "It's better now." Better than what? Now, remember for everyone in this room here, your questions do not have to be complicated and long. Three words. Powerful right there. That's it. Three words. The client might go, "It's better now." And you go, "Better than what?" That's it. Okay.

An action is mentioned without a detail how it's done. "She ignored me." Okay, first of all, who is she? Then how specifically did she ignore you? Now, if you notice in each one of these questions here, it is focusing on the client, not the situation. Remember, all coaching, we're coaching the client, not the situation. And I'm sure in your sessions with Marian and Sarah, they have emphasized the fact that by the end of this coaching training here, you should be able to coach anybody irrespective of what um industry they come from because you are coaching the person, not the situation. And the minute you realize that, it also takes away any story you've been telling yourself about, "I can't coach X Y Z," because you can because you are coaching the person, not the situation. It is different. It is different if you were asked to be a mentor. That's different, right? If you ask to be a mentor, then you have to understand what the world is. But as a coach, it is very, very different. Which is why if we think about, we go back two sessions and think about your discovery call and how you're getting your clients. It's very important to have a demarcation about coach versus mentor. So your client knows exactly what you come, what they're coming to.

Distortion. Okay, distortions. We all do this all the time. Assuming you know what someone else is thinking or feeling. "He doesn't like me." "Elaine doesn't like me." Why? Because she looked at me funny. How do you know that there? How do you know? You probably know that there.

Now, there's a cool, there's a cool thing that I've seen. Um, I'm going to just stop sharing a awesome activity that I've seen done before and I want to try it once. When a person Okay, let's do it right now. Let us do it right now. I am going to ask anyone in this room here to come up and tell me what they assume the others are thinking about them. I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm going to use Dell. So Dell, unmute yourself. So Dell, when you sit in this room here, what assumption do you make about someone looking at you today? Anyone in this room here, what assumption are you making?

>> Um, about like the what they think of me or what they

>> what what they think of you. What? Yeah. What do you Okay, here we go. Let's let's be more specific. What do you think um Sana thinks about you?

>> Um, I mean, I don't know that I'm nice. Um, yeah, just based on our interactions. I mean, we it's hard over a video call, but yeah.

>> That is that is Sana. What do you think about right now? Right now, what do you think about Dell right now?

>> She's very pleasant. is a very pleasant person and she's very easy easy to get along with. Yeah.

>> Cool. Beautiful. Awesome. Cool. Um, we don't have to be nice here. We can also be we can also be like, so for example, I'm going to I'm going to

>> do you or do you not want us to show up in our next sessions?

>> Exactly. That's exactly what I wanted next sessions. You know, I'm I'm okay. Lip lip let me give an example. For example, coming on right now, I might be thinking that um, this is an example. I might go, I might be thinking that Karen might be thinking that Pesh teaches in wild. What is Praesh got to offer me here? Right? This is the

story that I might be having in my head. Right? It's a story.

Now, if I ask Karen, "Hey Karen, what are you thinking of me now that you know me?"

"Well, then here."

"You want me to answer?"

"I want you to answer. I really want you to answer."

"I'm thinking I'm glad I spoke to you about this course because I think I'm learning different things and more in-depth things and I thank you."

"Amazing. Now, you notice the difference. Thank you, Karen. You notice the difference. I was thinking that, right? I may not have anything that but I'm giving an example. But just by asking that person, asking Karen, it's a whole different story."

The story teller. Oh, look, Fasil's got a young person there. Hey, Fasil. Or Fasil's young person. Pretty cute.

"Yes, he's around. He's trying to He's trying to attend the session as well."

"Yeah, why not? Yeah. Awesome. What's his name?"

"He's Alan. Alan."

"Hi, Alan."

"Hello."

"Tell your dad to go away. We love you instead. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. Kidding."

But what I want to share about that example there is a lot of us have these distortions in our brain. All even our even our clients will come but they would never have had the conversation with the other person. It's an assumption they've made. Yeah.

So for those of you that are facilitators or group trainers, you should try this in a in a group setting. Get someone just to get to stand up and go, "What do you think this person is thinking about you?" And they go say blah blah blah blah. Especially a group of randoms. and then ask that person what do you think about them and you'll see how crazy it is. It is it is probably one of the the most um awakening exercise I've ever seen in my life being done in real life. It's just just a tool for you to think about intake can you learn more than just about in the podcast coaching in this program as you can see. Okay.

Cause effect assuming one effect causes another with an evidence. "He makes me angry." "How exactly does he make you angry?" We we've tried to pick examples that you will hear quite frequently in your in your coaching coaching sessions here. "It's wrong to do that there." "According to who?" Right. Again, everything's distorted here.

Generalization. This is the one that I really want us to hone into because this is this is done Most of the time, in fact, always in a in a I'm going to go always here. It's a universal quantifier. In every coaching session I've done, I will hear one of these words here. There's not been a coaching session I've done where one of these words has not popped up. Okay? Always, never, everyone, no one. Even when you get to the executive level, you'll hear this as well. Especially with new executives and new CEOs in your high level, you might hear this languaging. "It's never been done this way before. Therefore, I feel blah blah blah blah." Okay? Always.

So, those are the kind of questions I'm going to put the whole thing up there because this is all about the words. All about the words. And when you and as a coach as you said Elena right at the start is you just pick up that that word there that word there and you challenge that word there because a client will be saying it subconsciously or unconsciously at that point in time and you're going to stop them to in that moment to reflect about why have they said that word has made them say that there basel.

Okay, let's suppose the client says "I I can't do it." and you you simply ask, "What's stopping you from doing this?" So he simply responds, "I don't know." "So you don't know? So if you don't know then what makes you say that you can't? Because if you did know if you did know then you'd know what was stopping you and you don't know what was stopping you." "But I don't know." "Which means that there's nothing stopping you."

"Okay."

"Does it make sense? Does it make sense?"

"So you you ch you challenge the fact that they don't know. The fact that they don't know. So I can't do this here. I don't know why."

"Okay. So if you don't know why it's not why you can't do it, then why can you do it?"

"Yeah."

"You just flip it on them. To client, you told me you don't know. So because you don't know, how is that stopping you from doing it if you don't know what is stopping you?"

"Makes sense. Makes sense."

Yeah. Some of the things you might hear, so I'm going to give you some some in coaching context, some other examples. You might hear a client that comes into you and goes, "Hey, coach SA, my team never listens to my ideas." The word never, right? SA is going to go. "Never. Has there ever been a time when someone did listen?" Picked up on the word never.

If I come and see Coach Karen and I go, "Hey, Coach Karen, I can't have that conversation with my boss," what is Coach Karen gonna say? Coach Kar's going to say, "What would happen if you did have a conversation?"

Or a client comes along and they see Coach Elaine and they go to Coach Elaine. "Hey, Coach Elaine, this situation is causing me stress." And coach Elaine is going to go, "How specifically is the situation causing you to feel stressed?"

Or one that is really, really common. Coach client Praesh goes to coach Majin and goes, "Hey, coach Mahabin, people don't respect my boundaries." coach is going to go, "Which people specifically and what boundaries are you referring to?"

You notice with each one of these scenarios, in these settings here, as a coach, you are getting the client to be more specific and you get them to recover missing information for them. They're going to go, "Oh, that's actually not true. There's no people. What boundaries? I haven't told them the boundaries, right?"

So, if we map this to ICF competences here, just going this up here, we know competence off by heart, right? They're all blocked in off by heart. You'll know them. You can say them with your eyes closed. Only one person is nodding and that's like yep I know my competence off by heart. I don't know my competency. So if you do, well done. Um this is your competence, right? Establishing and maintaining agreements. Um you mention always so it's always clarifying. So these all challenging generalizations, clarifying values, cause and effect. So whenever you ask these questions here, you are taking up all those competences. Okay.

Now remember, it's not about being super aware that you're doing this here. It's just about knowing that when you're doing it, this is what is happening. You are going to be taking off those um those competencies. So each one of these each one of these questions that you're going to be asking each one of these validation that you're going to be asking each one of these um depth questions is going to be taking off those competencies the listening actively the working awareness client growth all of them are going to be done.

"Okay now will you share these slides? I know that the slides for the last session were in the drive. Will you share these slides with these questions that we can sort of take away?"

"I'm pretty sure all the everything gets shared. Everything will get shared."

"Perfect. Thank you. These are great."

"That's correct, Rad. That's correct, Radia. I'm pretty sure they will. Yeah, everything is shared. You will get everything. And then you can open up your own coaching school. No, I'm kidding. Don't do that there. Don't do that there."

Okay, so, I'm going to put you into a a breakout room. Um, and these are the situations. Uh, "My team never listens to my ideas." "I can't have the conversation with my boss." "The situation is causing me stress." And "People don't respect my boundaries." How many people do we have here? Let me break out rooms. Okay, cool. We can create uh let's go to right. We're going to have four breakout rooms. Each one of you is going to take one of these and you're going to in your breakout room. So in room one we've got Dal, Karen, and Mabin and you are going to work on the first one which is my team never listens to my ideas. Breakout room two, we've got Fasil and Noshin. You're going to work on I can't have that conversation with my boss. Breakout room three is Ela and Bakata. You're going to work on this situation is causing me stress and breakout room four is Mark and Sana and you're going to work on people don't respect my boundaries. That is all that you're getting. Okay.

In your breakout rooms, what I would love for you to do is I'd love for you to think about the questions that you would ask when you have the scenario. What questions would you ask the client? All good? Everyone got that down? So, make sure you write down that the one you're working on. So, each one of you is working on a different one. So, sorry, room one, you've got three people. So, you have three of you doing that thing.

Always important to start small. Okay. So for you as a as a coach, think about the two or three patterns that you just really want to master. I want to master distortion. I want to master um deletion. I just want to pick on those. I just want to just hold on to those. And then you can grow on that there. You're trying to do everything. It gets a bit harder. And the most important thing is, and I said this last week as well, is notice your own violations in your own coaching language as well. So when you are coaching, what language are you using? as well. Which is why short questions are the best questions. When you start going longer and longer and longer and longer, you're going to be in putting putting in your story into that question there.

Before we shift to the next um model, we're going to do a nice activity. Not activity cuz we love activities. Okay. I think D's going to get some delivery hopefully. I'm guessing that's some food because it's dinner time. So, I'm going to make a statement. Just going to make one statement and you are all going to be coaching me. Every single one of you is going to be coaching me. Okay. Just unmute yourself and you're just going to go nuts. Okay.

So this is my statement. "My weekend was terrible."

"Touch me."

"What about your weekend was terrible?"

"Everything."

"What specifically about your weekend was terrible?"

"The people."

"So what is terrible for you?"

"Oh, just the people annoying."

"Tell me more about that."

"They were just being wishy-washy, you know. They just they're just being so wishy-washy."

"What do you mean by wishy-washy?"

"Ah, you know, I wanted to I wanted to go out to a trans music club. They wanted to go bowling. What about that annoyed you?"

"The fact that they didn't listen to me and and we wanted they agreed they were going to go out to a music festival and then they changed their mind the last minute."

"Who who changed their mind?"

"They did."

"They changed their mind."

"They did. They are who they who is they who are they?"

"Oh, they was Eugene and Marina."

"How did that impact you?"

"I felt I felt I felt like I wasn't heard."

"What does being heard sound look look like to you?"

"Well, being heard would have been if they had just asked me asked me nicely, I think I would have would have appreciated that."

"How does asking nicely translate to you?"

"They just asked me. They they just assumed that we would I would change my mind and go to the B to go bowling as opposed to what we agreed on before."

"Who are you when you are with those people? Eugene and Marina, that that's what you mentioned."

"Who am I? I think I'm a fun person."

"What does fun look like to you?"

"Going to a a dance club."

"What is it about the dance club that you enjoy?"

"I just can just dance and just not worry about the world."

"What worry about the world? Does dance help you?"

"Just everything."

"Everything."

"Everything. What specifically? What specific worry about the world does dance help you cope with?"

"It's a good question. Um, it just means I don't have to think about work."

"What specifically about work?"

"that I have to go to work?"

"So, let's go back to the basics. So is it the um is it the dance environment? Is it the environment or the permission factor that's that's creating those vibes in you?"

"What vibes?"

"like feeling feeling terrible about the weekend?"

"What connection?"

"What connection do you see between dance and work?"

"There's no connection. I just enjoy going to death."

"What would you have liked to have happen differently?"

"What I would like them to have just asked me."

Pause. Time out everybody. Well done. Well done.

Well done. Right. Notice what you did there. Each one of you, well done. Each one of you

naturally came to meta model questions. I came with one phrase. My weekend was terrible. That's all I said. But you notice how each one of you asked questions that became really really specific. Really, really specific. So I want to applaud you on that there. Each one of you just and then the last question was all right cool. What would you have liked to have happened? So every single one of you did that there.

Now remember in these situations all of you did really well. You didn't ever overthink it. All you did was listen to hopefully you listen to what I was saying. No assumptions, no beliefs. That's how simple it is. That's how simple it is. The question that didn't was when Phas introduced new language. Did you notice that was the question? There was new language introduced vibes. They did not mention vibes at all

at all. That word did not cross my mouth. So remember when you're asking questions as well, you've got to make sure you ask questions of the words I have said. Keep it right there. Well done. Any questions, any comments, any thoughts, any observations as you saw that playing out in real time?

"Especially my people who didn't ask any questions."

"Um my question is that so here you were giving oneliners right but in actual the client keeps on and on and on and you see multiple themes that you want to touch during that conversation. Mhm. So do you and then the conversation keeps flowing further. Do you keep the bringing back the client to what they said or do you just flow with the conversation or is it like"

"my fantastic here's my question to I'm going to pose it back to you. What do you do in this situation?"

"I just"

"what"

"I sometimes to the group. Yeah."

"Okay."

"No no no S. What do you what do you think S before you we go to the group? Let's get let's go to the group first before we come to you. What does the group think?"

"What does the group think?"

"Can you repeat the question? Sorry. Can you repeat the question?"

"So Sana's question was basically is if this is one line, I just had one line. My weekend was terrible. But in a real in a real situation, a client might have lots of different things going on. Do you bring them back to that one line or do you just go with what they what where they go? Is that the essence of the question, son? Is that the essence of your"

"I would let them go for a while, but bring it back at some stage to the goal or the agreement that was made for the session and see how that would potentially align with it or if we need to change the agreement. I wouldn't necessarily go back to the first statement. That's my view."

"Boom. Right there. Mic drop moment. The key word is agreement. If we have nailed the agreement, if we have nailed the agreement and the client starts going on about something else, you can come and go, hey client, um, at the start of the session, you mentioned that you want to talk about your weekend, but right now you're talking about the dance floor. At this point of time, which one of these things do you want to focus on in the session? Oh, the dance floor. Then you can go away. Oh, yes. I'm in the agreement. Yes, I mean my weekly is terrible. Awareness can bring them back to the awareness of that agreement, but you have to be very clear about the agreement as well, right? If you're not clear about the agreement, then you can't bring them back to something."

"Okay. So, in this situation um yeah, because in this situation your um the people, the dance floor, everything was affecting the agreement, right? So, you specifically posed the question that what about the weekend? Was it the people, the friends, or was it the not going being able to dance? Was it which one was affecting your weekend the most? Is that how you specified?"

"100%. 100%. Right. So, I came with that. Then comes what what is it? Then you're going to then you're going to build it in. So, like like Elaine's question is, what would you like to have happen? Boom. That's powerful. Roundup. Cool. Well done. I wanted to do that live so you can see what could happen. how how powerful these questions become. Everyone of you are coaches, you all qualify. There we go. Don't need to do anything. Is that easy? Okay, cool. We're now going to shift. Now, before we shift, I just want you all just to take a 20 second break because we're going to shift in something that's the total opposite of this here. So, take what you need to do, shake it out, close your eyes, do what you need to do, and we're going to come back. Just 20 seconds and we're going to come back. Just 20 seconds. Do what you need to do. Stand up from your chairs. Shake it out because I'm going to get your brain. Your brain's going to go like, "What is going on out there?" All right. So going to wait for the others to arrive back. Basically, you see why your question could just bring a whole different thing alto together because it was a it changed the languaging and was introduced different words."

"Sorry. Sorry, I missed that part."

"Did you notice how your question got me thinking about something else? Cuz you mentioned the word vibes. I didn't talk about vibes at all in any of my I didn't"

"that was a word you introduced."

"So I tried to like Yes. I used different words and it actually took took the conversation away from the actual point"

"100% because I was not a one vibes."

All right Tim we're now going to talk about another model. The Milton model. Okay. So the meta model as you just saw in this example we're just now is about precision. Boom. Precision. Precision. Precision. Let's bring it down. The Milton model is the opposite. The Milton model uses purposeful vagueness to bring in change. The Milton model was developed by um somebody by the name of Milton Ericson. Milton Ericson, if you don't know this, Milton Ericson is was one of the most renowned hypnotherapists in our time. Meta model deletion distortion generalization. The Milton model deliberately uses these patterns to so they use these patterns to number one bypass conscious resistance. Number two access unconscious resources. Number three create space for multiple interpretations. And number four facilitate trance um and receptivity to suggestion. So in this model here, we craft statements that sound specific but are actually broad enough to connect with anyone. Okay, so you're going to see how this works. Now hopefully why we do this here is um with this model here or this technique here what we try and do is allow the client and the listener to bring their own meaning to the process. The Milton model is the language of influence. It is the language of permission. It is the language of possibility. What it's doing is in this point in time, it's giving the range to the clients. It is used to build rapport. It's used to influence subtlety and lots and lots of self-reflection. Okay.

Now, we're going to go through these patterns here. Okay. The first one is using artful language. And in artful language, we have a couple. So number one is mind readading. So mind readading is when you act as if you know what the client is thinking or feeling, but you don't actually know. You don't actually know. You have no idea, but you act like you do because you're building rapport. All right. So when do you use it? You use it when you want to name something that's unspoken. You want to help the client to be seen or understood. You use it when you want to reflect intuition without sounding intrusive. And when you want to invite curiosity. So a statement could be statement could be "Hey client you may be wondering how this will help you." I am preframing the the client to think that they may be wondering and they have not been wondering but I have planted the seed for them to not wonder. Do you see that there? "Hey Major Bean, you might be wondering why I'm wearing a cap today." You may have never wondered that there. All of a sudden I'm wondering why is British wearing a cap? Because I planted the seed for you. Okay.

Lost performative making a value judgment without saying who decided that. So you use that to normalize or reframe. You use that to express general truths or to help clients externalize rigid beliefs so they can question them. So what is a statement that could do that there? "Hey client, it is important to consider all options." What have I done there? Nobody said it's important, but I am planting the seed that is important for the client out there. You notice the difference now with the languaging in meta and in Milton. Mitch is very specific. Milton is sort of but not really leading the clients to be reflective.

"Karen, in those two examples you've just given, you've given them as statements whilst everything else we've discussed in previous sessions is all about questioning and giving statements would potentially potentially push your own agenda in it. So what is Yeah. How does that fit in with the sort of structure and guidance we've been given to date?"

"Beautiful."

"Exactly my question as well. Yeah."

"Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. So ma questioning question question Milton is normally statements. Now when it comes to ICF we cannot lead. We cannot lead, right? We cannot lead. However, however, you might get a client that is refusing to budge. They're just going into a loop, right? Then, but only if you have the nuance or the ability to use this languaging, you can then bring in a statement. You can just bring in a statement. So for example when we talk about options available so client might go oh I don't I can't think of any options I don't know I don't know and then you go hey client it's actually important for us to think about options just by adding the word important is going to take the client into that next phase just going to just push them into that next phase we haven't told them anything we haven't led them we've just given them a reflection piece right there Okay. So again, just remember we this is a a teaching piece right now and I and I'm going to show you you have to be really artful when you use this here. It can't just be willy-nilly. It's got to be very artful or effect when you link to experience. So one appears appears to cause the other. So this is when you want to suggest empowering connections. is when you want to help the client reframe things like "if I fail I'm worthless" if they say that to you. Your statement could be a statement again Karen as you said "your attention to detail means you care deeply." It's just a statement. It's just a statement. Now be very careful in using this in our getting on driver's license but you can use it after you get your driver's license. But we want to teach you about this because because even when you are doing your coaching now, you might get clients that get a bit stuck framework. But this is where I encourage you or invite you to try these if you can and see if there's any movement as well. Okay.

Complex equivalents. Um saying one thing means another. Basically, it's just it's just reframing. just about reframing.

"But why would you use this Karen as you ask? Why would you use this because you want to build connection? You use this because you want to normalize and personalize beliefs. You want to rewire and you basically basically this is a a rapport and a connection building exercise. That's all it does with the client. This is this is what it does. presuppositions as we know presuppositions which we talked about last week. This can happen in your languaging as well. So I'm going to give you an example that I do all the time. Every single email that I send out at the bottom I sign off stay awesome. That preframes that the person reading is already awesome. Do you see what that does for someone reading it? straight away they go, "Ah, this is awesome. I feel great because I've preframed it. I've presupposed it for them." Okay? So, a presupposition in this context here is something must be true for the sentence to make sense. So, for example, you might presuppose to the client and go, "Hey clients, if you ch when you choose to relax, you might enjoy this session a bit more." You're presupposing the client is going to relax. You're presupposing they're going to enjoy the session. Pres presuppositions, right? You're not telling the client, "Hey client, you should relax right now. You should cl you will enjoy this." You're just presupposing it. Assume it's already happening. Again, remember this is artful. This is when you think about your clients. But also also who are the people that uses the best? Think about your world. Who uses the best? Which people in the world use these kind of conversations the best? They're not cautious."

"As much as I hate to say it, politicians."

"Absolutely. Yes. I agree."

"Therapist."

"Politicians. Therapist."

"Therapists. Parents. Leaders. Parents. Parents use it all the time. Yeah. Leaders. Who else? So, for example, if you're a parent, you might go, I'm going to count to five. If you don't do it, blah blah. The presupposition is some after five something's going to happen. Ah, I'm going to do this here, but nothing's going to happen. Nothing's maybe. I don't know. Most of the time, nothing's going to happen. Salespeople use this all the time. Every single salesperson that you have met in your life is is presupposing is is using these models here."

"All of my bosses have been sales people. So it's probably why I think leaders."

"There we go. Yeah. There we go. There we go. Oh, you need to I want to go I want to buy a new phone. I go into a shop. I just want to buy a normal phone. sales person like, "Ah, but don't you want to take better photos?" Oh, I never thought about that before, but yeah, I do want to take better photos. Best of right there. I never came to the shop for photos, but all of a sudden, I now want to take better photos. Yeah."

"So, we usually we usually use these statements when once we are doing the performance cycles."

"The face is also a a culprit, right? All of us all of us we all do this, right? We all do this. But I just want you to see now why and how we do it and what it does. Like this is the science behind it all. We all do it. But now you can see what is actually happening."

"Yeah. So here's another one. You know when you when you presuppose something, I wonder if you're aware of the small changes already happening. You presupposing the changes happening. There might be no changes. No changes. I'm going to give you a I'm going to show in the next break. I'm going to show you something. I'm going to I'm going to give you an example of one that I showed yesterday. As you realize what's important to you, the there's some. So, first of all, the presupposition is something's important and you will realize it. But you can use this in coaching if you use it carefully because it's allowing the client to bring up reflection. Reflection time presuppositions. Yeah, you they assume something has happened or is happening or will happen using timebased words. When you start to feel more confident, how will the future look like? The presupposition is that you are going to feel confident because what I said when you start feeling confident cuz you're already planting the seed for the client that they're going to be confident. And this is okay. You can do this here. You can definitely do this here. All right? You're not leading. you're using languaging that they're using. After you've made this decision, you'll probably feel lighter. Presupposition, you will make this decision. If you think about the end of our little framework there, we ask about what you want to be doing. So, after you've made this decision, how will you feel? So, you've now incorporated meta and you've incorporated Milton. So, Karen, back to your statement, you can use both. That becomes a very very skillful out there. Okay.

What could be the frequency of this model? Like uh every now and then we should be using this or maybe like in certain situations you have shared already like there is there is a client who is not ready to budge but still what could be other situations.

"Sometimes sometimes it just becomes a just a statement that you'll make when you notice a client is just for you to help them move forward. So if we go back here, if we look at the last line, it just helps the client move from confusion to order cuz sometimes the client is so confused or they have uncertainty. This is when you might use this kind of languaging. Okay. So for example, look at the last one. Look at the last one here. Would you like to explore another way of looking at this? Or what other way could we explore? Not would you? Cuz that's a yes no question. What other way could we explore?"

"That is implying there are other ways not just the one. Okay."

"Sure."

"The other one as well, we this is this is this is one that we use all the time. Anyway, what did you learn from the last challenge before this one? It presupposes to the client that there was another challenge. So, we've already presupposed when was the last what is the last challenge you had? What was the last thing you had? It's a presupposition. So, right until now, you haven't none of us have been aware of this, but this is an awareness piece of our language that we're using. Some other ways you can do this here is take take a deep breath. Can you take a deep breath? Could you imagine? You're just telling client what to do. These are great ways to start. You know what what would you be willing to explore? You can look at the slides. These slides are very very in depth. I don't want to go into too much here, but I want to give an example. Okay. So, first of all, this is what you asked. This is how you do it. This is this is the step process with having molten language. Here you begin with a truism or a pacing statement. So the statement is hi clients as you sit there learning about these patterns or these words. You add another word and and while or as you include whatever the suggestion is. You might begin to notice new possibilities emerging. And then you create the open loops. And I wonder which one of these is most useful for tomorrow. Okay, so here we go. Here's the actual. So, let me let me pick an example right now. Okay, cool. I'm going to go with Mark. Hey, Mark. You're sitting here today. You're learning about NLP. And you might be thinking, how am I going to be using this in my life? How am I going to be coaching with this? Mark, as you consider this challenge you're facing, you may already notice how your mind begins to generate new possibilities in your coaching. And I'm curious, Mark, which solution will surprise you the most when you look back on this next week when you think about meta and multimodels. What have I done there? I have presupposed that Mark is going, "Oh man, how am I going to use this here?" And then I'm saying to Mark, actually your mind is already giving you possibilities and then I'm saying to Mark, actually there's going to be a solution for you next week. One of these is going to pop out for you. You can use this in any coaching scenario. just this whole statement here. This whole this whole line here because what is it? What does this do? This statement allows the client to be autonomous and all that this is doing is it's directing direction towards resources and models. So what is it doing? It is bringing awareness, evoking awareness. I see it evoking awareness. is building rapport. It's doing all the things that you want to you want um a coaching conversation to be. Any questions, comments?

Now, how does this actually map into ICF, which is what Karen is asking, right? So, here's a great This is this is Milton language right here. "Hey clients, what would it mean for you if you already had the answer to this challenge here?" The presupposition right here is they've already got the answer. So, you're maintaining an agreement. Another one, "How might making this change affect other areas of your life?" The Milton model is suggesting that the other areas of your life that are going to be affected This is picking up languaging. Picking up body language. "As you said before, I've noticed. Hey Elaine, I'm sensing you might already have ideas about this. What are they? How do you feel about sharing more of your thoughts? Everyone finds themselves reflecting deeply in moments like these. What are you What's coming up for you now?" These are for your clients that are that are that are um like I said phases that are bit more challenging. "What's coming up for you now?" The mot languaging is basically saying something is coming up for you. This is something important to you, isn't it? So, you notice these are statements, but they're also questions. So, I gave you um statements, but these are also questions. And as you go through these slides, look at each one of these and and break it right down to go. This is so different to the meta which is asking boom boom boom boom being very precise. This is allowing the client to be more reflective and each one of you.

"Sorry. The last question on the previous slide. That's a closed question."

"That is a close question. Yeah."

"So, how would that play out?"

"You wouldn't use it."

"Okay. Thank you."

"Or another way you could do it is you can go, "Hi, Karen. I noticed you shift your body language changed when I said that or when you said that. What does that tell you about the importance of this?"

"Okay. Thank you."

"Yeah. So if you notice about each one of these here, every one of these is more reflective the client more reflective and you can use both Milton and Meta in your conversations. This one here, "I'm curious what if you could see this from a completely different angle." the presupposition for Milton. Is there other angles you can see this from? And each one of you are doing this all the time. You've already done this. You've done this many, many times. But now I'm just showing you how many of us use, like Dell said, we're doing this all the time. Each one of us are doing this all the time. We're presupposing a lot. We're all sales people. I'm kidding. We're not sales people. Basel.

"So, how is it how is this model different from sharing your own experience? My friends,"

"Let's suppose question like um a client comes to you and ask that I'm going through a rough phase uh rough phase in my life like I'm not getting the promotions which I I think I'm eligible for and u you try to build up like I've been through this all and this is what I did. So is it different from this model?"

"You can't do that. You can't. So you can't tell them about you nothing about you. Remember in no coaching you can say this is what I've done. This is what I've been through. No you can't mention that there. If you're doing that there you're mentoring. So if a client comes to you and says to you repeat the statement again. Repeat the scenario phasal. That's let's"

"I'm going through the rough phase of my life. I think I I I deserve promotion but I'm not getting it."

"Okay. I'm going through a rough phase of my life. I think I deserve promotion but I'm not getting it."

"Okay. client tell me more about what deserve means blah blah blah blah blah okay the client just say something the client I deserve because I've been here for 20 years okay awesome well let's suppose being in like I'm an HR professional so most of the time I actually know why is he not being considered for this promotion now how to hold that information and eventually uh turn it to the client that he should think about or he should be accountable about his moves."

"Yeah, I think yours is really yours is a really hard one, Fasil, because you have to you're going to have to navigate your professional capacity in a coaching conversation. So, if I come to you and I and I come to you not as a coaching, not in a coaching sense, but I hey Fasel, why am I not being promoted? And if you go into a coaching conversation, you're like, "Oh, this is ridiculous. You're wasting my time." But if a client comes to you and come and says, "Hey, Fasil, what do I need to be doing to be promoted?" then you can you can coach right but if they go why because you're an HR professional you need to be transparent"

"but people are expecting some solution as well so behind coaching conversation there is a thought that they perceive that I I might know about it and I eventually give them a way out"

"give us a real life scenario give us a sitting a a scenario"

"I've been through this a lot like recently I'm going through this. So our manager was promoted the other counterpart who was"

"sorry one one one thing Fasil before you go everyone listen up cuz we're all going to help Fasil with this situation it's not me we're all doing a group coaching right now"

"right so like one manager has been considered for a role and another one his counterpart who was actually competing for that role as well so he came to me and he started off conversation like I wanted to be coached from you like why should I what should I to be considered for this role. So at the back of this, he was actually expecting me to know about it and I actually knew about it. So he wanted something solid about his future progress. But he came up through a coaching model like coaching way."

"Okay. Right. Tim, how do we how do we navigate this conversation?"

"Yeah. And in in pre-context like we are recently going through the transformation as a company. So we are building leaders as coaches. So we're going we we are uh actually imparting training to them how to be a good coach while being a leader as well. So this was part of that training and he eventually approached me through that that training that you should be you should coach me that uh what should I do to to be considered for such roles."

"Okay. So the so if we break it right down the problem the problem statement is the client wants to have a conversation to be a leader. Is that correct? What is the what is the what is the presenting problem?"

"Could be considered for the top position."

"Okay. So the client comes in. Hey Basil, coach me on how to be in the top position. Yes."

"Yeah."

"Okay. Great. Tim, how how would we do this coaching conversation?"

"Sorry. Sorry I missed it. I'm ask I'm I'm asking the group how would we go about doing this coaching conversation?"

"Yeah."

"Um just to clarify because he's a HR professional right and the person choose the route of coaching right to get coached rather asking taking him as a HR professional. Is there a conflict or um like just to clarify"

"in my mind there was a conflict because I actually knew why wasn't he considered about this role uh for this promotion but he actually asked me about the coaching conversation so I have to hold my actual knowledge uh I have to maintain my confidentiality as a professional and and then coach him as well."

"Mhm. Great. That's a great clarification. So, we're going to assume that you are not going to know anything about the role. You just as a coach,"

"I I'd probably start by asking coach, you know, what does he or she already know about the role? What does he or she think are the success factors of the role? What does he or she think the key um attributes of of someone um successful in in the role? So, try and explore that first."

"H"

"and then maybe move to how does he see him or see themselves um in relation to that and then um you know see if there's any disconnects or or or see where that takes takes a conversation. Maybe maybe they could ask like what about this role is important to him"

"and so that kind of an understanding of like what actually is attracting him to the role. So if they're going to apply for it then you can kind of understand connections are"

"I am trying to understand what the agreement over here is going to be. So before like vessel dives into the session. So what is it the client is like actually looking out for? Like from what I've heard the the coachi wants to know what to do in order to secure that top position. So what is the agreement going to look like in in this session is what I'm thinking and I think the guiding questions are going to be like based on on this that what's the agreement here because it it is quite open-ended from what I'm hearing."

"Yep. So everyone of you has added value here but it comes down to the agreement. when you get the agreement then we can think about where the the gap is. So like Elaine and Dell's questions asked about okay what about the situation and what what attributes do you have that's going to help but if you don't have the agreement at the start it's going to be really challenging. So for your phas you have to just go I'm here as a coach not as HR professional. It's hard to do but you just have to go cool in the scenario I just have to be coach and I'm going to ask coaching questions."

"And you can use both meta model questions and multimodel questions in the scenario here. "Hey clients. "Hey clients. I'm curious I'm curious about what makes you want to apply for this position." That's a multimodel question because you are implying that that there's curiosity about that. Right. "Hey client, I'm curious about what makes you unhappy about your current situation." The implication is that they're unhappy in their current situation. They might not be. Oh, actually face. I'm not I'm not unhappy at all. I actually love my job. Oh, okay. You can see just by asking that question there. Awesome. Thank you, Tim. This can count your coaching hours. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Will destroy me if I say that. Well, architecture doesn't destroy. She's very nice."

"Just confused between um this new model that we learned about and then the idea of pushing your own agenda and pushing your own language. Where do you draw the line? Is this"

"visual line actually, you know, looks like it's it's a flip of of everything that we have learned so far."

"Flip of like what is going on here?"

"Exactly. Flip of everything. So"

"I'm going to show you this. So, here we go. So, let's go to the table here. So this is the difference between the two and I'm really glad you because it is it is very different to everything you've learned. Right? The Milton model works with the subconscious mind. The meta model works with the conscious mind. Clearly you notice"

Everything that with the Milton model is is presumptive. The meta model is: Give me facts. Give me evidence. The Milton model is very vague. It goes up. The meta model goes right down. Okay. The way you think about it is like this is how I'll describe it.

The meta model, you use it when you want to gather specific information. Use it when you want to challenge limiting beliefs. You use it when you want to break down overwhelm and bring it right down. And it's bringing vague goals into focus. It's moving from problems to solutions. That's meta.

The Milton model, you use it when you are building rapport and trust. You build it when you're working with resistant clients. You you use it when you again, this is now you park this away for when you have your driver's license, when you're offering suggestions indirectly. But you can also use this in any session when you are trying to bring creative problem solving. You can use it when you are creating metaphors as well and an embodied learning. So feeling like feeling how do you, what do you? Hey, son, I notice you are sitting blah. What does it bring up for you? The so that is multimodel questioning.

Meta model is not going to be like, "Oh, uh, so now why you s there?" What meta model doesn't? Meta model is about the words you have said. What have you said? What have you what have you left out? Now, as a coach, as you be as you use this more and more, you start switching between the two. Switching between the two. Okay. So you're not going to just go on one. You're going to switch between the two.

Now, I'm going to give us another activity. Okay. I'm going to go back. There's an activity and I want to show you how the Milton model works. Okay. So, going to stop my screen share and if you're very, if you're all very comfortable, I'd love you all to maybe close your eyes for a second. Just close as we do this activity here. Okay?

Right now, as you close your eyes, imagine you're all walking somewhere. You don't know exactly where, yet somehow you know you're moving in the right direction. You may notice things changing, maybe quickly, maybe gradually, and perhaps something you've forgotten becomes important again. As you keep walking, you continue discovering what comes next. My question for you right now, every one of you, unmute yourself and tell me where were you? In the sitting. Karen, where were you?

"Walking along the beach."

"Oh, mansions."

"I was also walking on the beach. When you said you're going somewhere, I I somehow knew my destination where I was going."

"So, that was like that change. Okay. I don't know where to be."

"Tell was walking from my home to the beach."

"What's some puzzle? I'm working on my form."

"Okay. What you mean?"

"I had mountains and the beach."

"Wow. On the beach."

"Yeah."

"Sana,"

"It was just a beautiful park."

"Yeah."

"Mark,"

"I was thinking of it a bit differently. I was thinking of myself on this on my leadership career progression and thinking about this course and being on the right path."

"Awesome. Namaste. This is the multin model in action right now. Instead of us trying to recover any missing information, I deliberately created amb ambiguity deliberately. And each one of you came up with a different answer. The beach might be similar, but your beach is very different because your brain has subconsciously filled out the gaps. And this is the Milton model in action. Right now, you wouldn't use it in this way in a in a coaching session, but I want to share the difference between my question about my weekend was terrible to going for a walk. Big difference, right? In the languaging. People that use this really well are people that do meditation, that take meditation. If you go to any meditation, this is what they do. Any breath work, this is what they do. Any yoga, this is what they do, right? Which is why it's hypnotic language, right? I just want to give you an an example of what this actually feels like and why we might why we might do it. But um, it's not it's it's it's just a tool to put into your toolkit as always. That's what we're trying to do. Okay. We're not going to do it this year. We're not What's the time? Do we want a break? Do we want a five minute break or do we keep moving?"

"D's going, 'Hell, I need a break.'"

"D, I'm going to I'm going to confess something."

"Eight minutes."

"Eight minutes break. I'm going to Before we go, I'm going to tell you an assumption that I made. A huge assumption. When you said you had a delivery driver, I assumed it was for food. That's what I assumed. I was like, 'Oh.' And you're like, 'No, it's a couch.'"

"Because I'm like literally got boxes everywhere right now. Whoa, crazy."

"I've been waiting this for three weeks. I'm like, of course it comes right now."

"Of course. There we go. Murphy's off. Murphy's off. All right, legends. Uh, we'll give you a 7 minute break. So, you come back at the top of the hour or the bottom of the hour and for the last bit. And as always, if you have any questions, I'll hang back. Okay, so let's go."

Now, this last bit here is really powerful and a lot of you are doing this already here, but we're just going to we're going to teach you about this blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. So, it's the power of chunking. Chunking. So, every single one of us does this either consciously or subconsciously. Each one of you did this in the example that we did the live example when I said my weekend was terrible. You all started chunking. Let's talk about chunking.

There's two ways we actually, there's three ways to chunk. We chunk up to get higher on visions, goals, and ideas. This is when we start our agreement. We start here and then we go right and we chunk chunk down. So we chunk up, we get a vision, a goal, an idea, concept, and then you chunk down to get clear on details. So we go chunk up, we chunk down, we chunk up, we chunk down. Okay, so let me sorry, my screen is doing silly things here.

So examples of chunking in coaching here. So here someone comes goes like, "Cool. Hey coach Praesh, I want to improve my team meetings." How do I chunk up? "What is your purpose for improving team meetings?" We've gone right up. Right. Boom. The answer is going to be to enhance team collaboration. Okay, cool. "What is important about team collaboration?" I'm chunked up again to achieve strategic goals. Okay. "What's important about achieving strategic goals?" To fulfill our mission of helping clients. I've chunked right up. Okay. So, the client came in with the with the with the problem statement, "I want to improve my team meetings." As we chunk up, and you've all done this really in your when you were questioning me, "What's the purpose? What's important? What's important?" As the answer, boom. So the answer I've come up with, "To fulfill our mission of helping clients." Then what I do, and now chunk in, "Right, cool. What's specifically about meetings needs to be improved?" The decision-making process. "What's specifically about that process?" We don't hear from everyone. "How could you hear from everyone?" Boom. You notice what's happened there? We first found out what the purpose of the meeting is and then chunk right down. And the answer has come, "I want to improve my meetings." And the client comes down to using a wrong dominant approach for key decisions. Do you see how that's worked? I've gone out and I'm coming out and then come.

Okay, so some questions that you can put into your um toolkit as well. Chunking up questions: What is an example of? What is your purpose of wanting this? What is important to you about this? What does this give you that you value? What is the intention behind this? Now, question for everyone here. Think about this and think about the pyramid I shared at the start. The neurological levels of change. You notice how each one of these questions going right to the top to the peak? It's going, it's taking the client to their purpose, to their identity, to their capabilities. That's what it's doing. Okay?

And chunking down questions is going down to the behaviors to the environment. What specifically? Can you give an example of? How exactly? What will be the first step? That's the behavior. How would you know you've achieved it? That's the behavior. Each one of those on our lovely triangle is our behavior, our beliefs, our behavior, and our environment. Okay. Again, look at these questions here. There's a maximum of one, two, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Maximum of eight words. My invitation and my challenge for every one of you, if you think about when you think about your coaching, your questions should be 10 letters or less. Not 10 letters, 10 words or less. Not 10 letters. 10 words or less. 10 letters would be pretty crazy. 10 words or less. The minute you can start mastering that there, you're going to notice how it's just boom, it's all about the clients, not about you, right?

And there's also lateral. You can also chunk lateral when you just want to see another version of the same story. So, "What else is similar to this here?" "What is similar?"

"Okay, so those are your chunking lateral questions as well. Also, I noticed Praesh that chunking is a combination of meta and Milton, both."

"100%. Yep. So chunking, chunking, chunking down, meta. Chunking up, Milton. Yeah. So back to your question S. This is where you can now see it now coming into play. All right. So what I what I don't want you all to get um too caught up in is, oh, Milton is so vague and it's it's leading. It's it's you were doing it anyway. You were doing it anyway, but now you just have awareness of what it actually is. It's just an awareness piece. Okay. All right. Cool. So let's give it a crack here. We want to we're going to chunk up. We're going to chunk down. We're going to chunk lateral. Not too much, but chunk up. Chunk down. Should we do this? No. What is the time? No, I think we should go into coaching. Okay, we're not going to do this here. We are not going to actually, let's let's do let's do a live a live live session, right? Okay. So, who wants to be a client? Just for fun. This is just to show how chunking works. Chunking works. This is for fun. Doesn't have to be a real situation. It could be at the most fake situation ever. It doesn't actually matter. Karen, cool. You want to mute yourself? Karen's gonna go. Karen's gonna go."

"I'm always volunteering for these sorts of things."

"Karen's always volunteering. All right. Awesome. Cool. This is what we're going to do. Karen is going to give us a simple statement, whatever it is. And then we are going to chunk up and chunk down. But the way we're going to do this is I'm going to go if I do that, that means chunking up. If I do that, means chunking down. All right? And you're just going to unmute yourself and you're just going to ask the question. That's all we're going to do. Is that cool? Right. The first one to unmute is going to be is going to talk. So that's the way we do it. We're not going to wait. We're not going to be polite here. We're just going to go we're going to go quick fire. Karen, give us a situation."

"I want to buy a house."

"Why? Why do you need this?"

"Well, pal. Well, no why questions, Basel. No why questions. All right, let's go again. Let's jump down. How exactly would you do that?"

"Sorry, I missed that. There's about three people talking. Dell, I think it was you."

"Yes. And how would you exactly do How exactly would you do that?"

"I would go look at the window and view a house."

"What kind of house would you like to look at?"

"A single-story house."

"What specifically looking uh in the house that you want to buy?"

"Two bedrooms."

"So, what makes so important to have that house?"

"Security."

"What does security look like for you?"

"Um, having a roof that myself and the bank owns rather than someone else owns."

"What's the purpose of you buying the house?"

"Security."

"What would security give you?"

"A place to live."

"What can help you to get that security?"

"Money."

"What's your purpose for wanting this?"

"Sorry."

"Sorry. Who was that? That was Dell."

"Yeah. What's your purpose for money?"

"What's my purpose for wanting this? Security."

"The money. I was back to the money question. Sorry. Security."

"What does this give you that you value?"

"Hey, home."

"What sounds like what feels like home to you?"

"No. Total natural."

"Maybe maybe what's what's another approach that you could achieve a achieve the same outcome?"

"Rob a bank."

"Okay. Well done. Well done everybody. Well done."

"Did we see how how this works yet again? Quick fire. Quick fire. Did you notice how you went up and you went down?"

"This is excellent practice. I must say this is excellent practice hearing everybody's questions and yeah, this is brilliant."

"Really helps."

"Beautiful. Well done."

"And I'm not really going to rob a bank."

"Just pin it out there cuz you're being recorded."

"If you do, Karen, we know where to find you. That's it."

"Well, in my house."

"Exactly. In your house. It's going to give you security from"

"from the police. I don't know about that. We hope you get the jail, the security and the house. Everything that you wish for, Kevin."

"I mean I mean if you get arrested and you go to jail, then you'll be secure and you'll have a roof over your head."

"That's not the home part. That's not home. That doesn't seem like"

"giving a different perspective, right? You wanted a home. Give me a different perspective. It is a home. It is."

"You're very secure. You're very secure. No one's going to get to you."

"Oh, I don't know about that. This is true."

All right, team. Well done. Thank you for Thank you for playing along with this. But I want you to see how practical this is. This very practical and how quick it can happen. Up, down, natural. Up, down, natural. Yeah. And you know, when you think about your coaching as well, think about think about how you can incorporate that into your coaching. All right. Uh, I'm going to do my last few slides because I know you're all excited to get coaching because that's why you're all here. Um, okay, we don't. Okay, so what have we done today? This is what I want us what have we done today is the takeaway point is the neurological levels. This is really important. You know, I I would maybe invite you or challenge you to maybe print this out somewhere or have it somewhere you can see it. Now, not just for you as a coach, but for you as a person as well. As a person, you think about your day-to-day activities in your life. You can think about where am I where am I navigating my life in which one of these quadrants am I navigating and if I want to change in my life, what do I need to be doing? What needs to happen in my life? Now, the reason I say that to you again is like we said last week when I came on that this is this coaching program is not just about becoming awesome coaches, which is this, but also about becoming awesome humans because all of you when you become awesome, you become awesome coaches, or you don't become coaches, but you still become awesome humans, right? So there's a big thing for you to think about that.

Next thing, the meta model. Think about how you can use the meta model just to become really precision. Boom. This is what I want to go. This is the one I want. O, this is it. The Milton model is when clients are are resistant. It's about bringing awareness, imagination, because all of us do imagine at some point in time. And chunking it for sure is just to go right. How do I go up? How do I go down? How do I go up? And the client doesn't know you're doing that there. The client has no idea. But you all knew it because I was pointing up and down, pointing up and down, and going sideways. But when you're doing it, you are actually building your um your nuance with the client because the answers they're going to give you is going to give you direction. Okay. Right.

Before we go into breakout room session, we'll take a break there. Any questions, comments, thoughts about what we have learned in the education piece today? Apart from..."

"My brain, I think my brain's a bit messed up. I had I had actually unmuted or muted, whatever, but I think my brain's a bit muddled with everything you've gone through, even though I know some of it from other stuff. It's still enlightening and I've still picked up some stuff. So thank you."

"Awesome Karen. Awesome. Cool. So because Karen has mentioned there's a bit of modeling going on, which I'm sure all of you are a bit like, what's going on here? We're going to take a We've got lots of time. We're going to take a 10-minute break and we're going to come into coaching with coaching. Who is Oh, Mark has disappeared. We've lost Mark. Um, Kadija, we've lost Mark. Did you have lost Mark? I'm just um so according to Cad um Karen and Mark need to be observed today. Now, Cada Mark is not here. Um, I'm going to see what she says there. But while we while I'm waiting for condition to come back to me on that day, Karen is going to be a coach. Who would like to be a client? Who would like to be Karen's clients?"

"Cool. Awesome. Cool. Both is going to be Karen's clients. If Mark does reappear, who would like to be Mark's clients?"

"D. Awesome. Cool. If Mark does not reappear, who would like to be another coach? You can't be a coach and a client."

"Okay. No would like to be"

"I can be a client. It's okay."

"Want to coach? Yeah."

"I think No, put up a hand. No, you want to coach?"

"Okay. Sure. Sure. Why not?"

"Okay, great. So, this is what we'll do. Karen will coach Baka. If Mark appears, Mark will coach Dell. If Mark does not appear, no will coach Dell. Everyone happy? Beautiful. Awesome. Before we go, can I just take a quick group picture in case I don't see you guys again? I'll cry. Okay. Three, two, one. Lots of tears of joy. Cry with I'm just kidding. You all You all assumed I was going to be sad. I might be happy. All right. 3 2 1. Amazing. Thank you very much. We'll see you back in 10 minutes. Good."

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Session 7 - Neuro-Logical Levels & Language Patterns (20th June 2026, Cohort)

Transcription