Voir le bien au delà du mal

So there is an extraordinary midrash. It says like this when it is written in the Passover Haggadah. Why do you say Yaakov, my path of God is hidden? The midrash says, but Avraham never said a useless word. Yes, more useless than that day when he said that, why did he say Hashem, I am busy making his son king, and he says, why did you do me harm, as it is written, Yaakov's path is hidden from God? Why does Yaakov say his path, my path of Hashem, is hidden? Of what? Of what circumstances are we talking? Yaakov's brothers, you know, they wanted to sell their brother, they sold Joseph and made it seem like Joseph was dead. They took a sheep, they slaughtered it. They dipped the tunic, which was Joseph's unique tunic, okay, and brought it back to their father. They said to him, he recognizes it. They didn't say he is dead. They didn't say he was killed. They said, here is what we found. We found the blood-stained tunic. And Yaakov, when he saw that, now for him, this was the consequence. Elok Abraham, Isaac, Yaakov, Joseph. Joseph was the continuation. He was the one who was going to transmit the Torah. He was going to be the next of the patriarchs, and it was to him that he taught all the Torah, and now he is dead. When Yaakov saw that, he despaired, he was very sad, and he said this very, very harsh sentence. He said, "My path from Hashem is hidden." Nistera is a known language, it's the "yes." Esther Panim, it means that when Hashem turns his face towards you, by contrast, the opposite is "seter panim," meaning that Hashem turns his face away. It's like a father and a child, the child has done a very big mistake, and the father says to his son, "I don't want to see you anymore." He says to the mother, "Get him out, I don't want him to come back home. It's over. I don't want to see him anymore. I don't want to see his face anymore." So the son says, "Dad, give me a beating, insult me, curse me, but look at me." No, it's the face, we understood, it's that when the gaze is directed, it directs the blessing, and unfortunately, when he turns his head away, it's 6 million deaths. Is that it? Yes. We say that God is hiding. God is hiding, meaning the blessing is no longer there. We are obliged to translate the words into Arabic today, to prepare for tomorrow's France. So, it's not the word he said, but it's very interesting that once they brought back the tunic, what happened? Suddenly, Yaakov despaired, he became sad. He was so sad that the commentators say, "But I don't understand, Yaakov was a prophet, how is it that he didn't know his son was alive for 22 years?" They said, "Why?" Because when someone is sad, they lose their prophetic ability. There is space there, there is space here. Yes. They lose the capacity for prophecy. So, because Yaakov was sad, he didn't know Joseph was alive. But what is interesting is that the Holy One, Blessed be He, says, "But I don't understand, they brought him the blood-stained tunic." Okay. But there is a commentary by a rabbi who later became famous because they dedicated a series to him called Rabbi Colombo. I don't know if you knew him. Rabbi Colombo asks the question, "Okay, but where is the corpse? They bring the tunic together. You didn't see the corpse? How do you know he's dead? Why did Yaakov Avinu suddenly despair? He cried, but he didn't see the corpse. No corpse, no murder. Yes, the commentators already ask the question. Yes, because when he said a wild beast devoured him, because normally when a lion attacks, there's still a hand, there's still a head, there can't be nothing left. So that means the beast killed him on the spot, then took him to its den, ate him there. Yes, but it's impossible that there's nothing left. In addition, he leaves the tunic. That means the animal also undresses him before killing him. You see, it's already a very sophisticated animal. No. As soon as Yaakov saw the tunic together, he said, "That's it, my son is dead." Yes. And at that moment, he said, "My path from Hashem." Now, what is "darky"? What is "darky"? It's not the masculine of "dark," it has nothing to do with it. "Darky" is my path. Yes. What is my path? What is a "derch"? A "derch," in fact, is a virtual trajectory. Each one of us has a "derch." According to your education, according to your sensitivity, according to your intelligence, you will trace your path, you will make your choice. Yes. The "derch" in the end is the projection of your thought into reality. So, in fact, your life, before it is realized, is first projected, it is already made in your head. Yes. Because we say "B'derech she'ata rotzeh lalechet" (in the path you want to go). So you first make your path in your head. It's called a life project, it's called a roadmap, it's called a business plan, it's called a projection of your marriage, it's called an educational project, but there is always a theory first that will then be realized in reality. And well, that theory is called "derch," okay? Now he comes and says, "Nim'em" (it's that my path, my life trajectory, which was apparently extraordinary because I have a son who is a genius, he is very learned, he is very handsome, he is extraordinary, he has the Shekhinah, he has the divine presence, and to him I teach the Torah, and from him, God willing, we will build the people of Israel. Suddenly, it's over, it's finished. He is dead. Okay. It's in the trajectory that was all set, that was made, that was ready, that was extraordinary, that was magnificent. And in truth, in life, it's like that. You made a great plan for a real estate project, at the last moment the bank refuses. Yes. You formed a fantastic association for a big business. At the last moment, the guy doesn't go along anymore. The sister-in-law says, "No, I don't like his face." The Chinese guy refuses the deal. The dollar increases by 30%, the plastic material because of Ukraine doubles in price. So what does that mean? It means that we project, we dream, we make calculations, and God has another plan. When I lost my wife, someone told me this word "nechama" in Hebrew means consolation. Okay? But if you look in the Torah, when it says "Vayinahem Hashem" (and Hashem regretted), it's in Genesis, at the end of Genesis, before Hashem decided the destruction of the world with the flood, it says "Vayinahem Hashem," He regretted having created man, and so He decided to end him. Another time, it is written in Parashat Beshalach, when the Israelites were to leave Egypt. Then Hashem said, "If I let them out by the shortest route, they will encounter the Philistines, they will get discouraged, as soon as they go out to war, hop, they will return to Egypt." So Hashem directed them on another path. So you see that the word, the root, "nechama" in truth means change. Yes. So how can you say that at the same time "nechama" means change and at the same time "nechama" means consolation? So there is a crazy explanation, truly a crazy explanation, that once again, in life, we make plans. You see, the child, God willing, will be a yeshiva student. Well, he's a pizza delivery guy, that one. You did everything for him to be a doctor. This one, the big one, the private lessons, well, he became a yeshiva student. Family's decision. Yes, it means that we make plans in life. We make plans. Yes. And Hashem changes. I was supposed to make aliyah next year. Well, my wife is gone, that changes. Now, the logic is, why does "nechama" mean change and also mean consolation? Listen carefully, this is a great explanation that will save you at least 10 years of exile. When you accept the change, there is "nechama." Do you follow me or not? When you accept the change, the child is not as you wanted. Your wife is not exactly as you wanted. Your husband. The business, the health, the rabbi. There are changes in life. There are changes. There are turns. Ask Ton Kena. He missed one. Yes, that's life. There are changes. But then there are people, they don't understand. They say, "No, why? Why? What's the point?" All the time you spend saying "why" is useless. [laughter] And it will make you sick. Well, the Chazal said about "mar'am" (our master), it is forbidden to say "why." You say "why," we don't have the right to express ourselves, we don't have the right to speak, we don't have the right. You have the right, you have the right to burp, you have the right to fart. But there's no point in saying "why." What good does it do you? Yes, people like that. Yes, why did he leave? Why him? Why do I need to understand? But what will you understand? You don't understand your mother-in-law. You hope to understand God. No, people are strange, they are not reasonable. Yes, and by constantly saying "mar'am," you will get sick. It's a syndrome called Serge. Serge Lama. [music] It's very rare that I explain jokes. We're hitting rock bottom here. Ah, but Serge Lama, come on, I'm sick. No, does that ring a bell? Yes, it's good. So, what's the idea? It's that in truth, "mar'am" makes people sick. People make themselves sick. I don't understand why. I don't understand why. I don't understand. Well, he made a mistake. There, the neighbor was crazy. Well, she was excited, she was never badly dressed. One day, your husband went to the wrong floor and he stayed the night. Yes. Now, you, you, he apologizes, he cries, he does this, he cuts off a finger. Finally, you accept, you say, well, he's the father of my children, I love him. It's linked to his sins, and it was a moment of madness. He had drunk too much, he was not well in his head. But still, you ask, "Yes, but why? Why?" What? When I said "why" to my parents, they told me, "What?" There is no "why." There is no "why." Your child is like that. Ah, but little Cohen succeeds on the first try. And who is choking, little Cohen, let me tell you. [laughter] That one, he is made, he is born to make others jealous. That's how it is. No, it means your son is your son, and he is your son. Ah, you say, "Yes, but I would have wanted, I would have believed, I would have thought, I would have hoped, I would have wished." We don't care. There is a reality, it is your reality. Yes. It is your body. Your girlfriend eats nine pizzas and she loses weight. You, you have a yogurt, and you gain 4 kilos. The world is badly made. It's the dictatorship of the thyroid, it's called. Okay? That's how it is. It's your body. So what? All my life, I'll have to be on a diet. No, you can be a "tosa" and be happy too. Geographical hegemony. Okay, it's a very, very big, exaggerated problem. But the idea is this, that a person in their life will make plans. We are obliged because we make forecasts, we make commitments, we take out loans, we want to move forward. We want to change, we want to project. And God changes. Life changes. You can accept, you can refuse. But know that if you refuse, it creates a wound. And the wound, as long as you don't accept it, it doesn't heal. It's like a guy, it's been 10 years, he still hasn't mourned his father. I knew people who lost a baby. Well, the first one died. Well, people 20 years later, yes, it's your fault, it's because of you, because you're not careful, because you, because you didn't pay attention, because you didn't stay by his side, because you didn't sleep next to him. Listen, he's dead, he's dead, he's gone. It's the death of an infant, no one killed him, we didn't suffocate him, we didn't forget him with a pillow, he didn't swallow the bottle the wrong way, he didn't wake up. Okay? But then when people don't accept it, it means they don't accept, as we say in French, to mourn. So what will they do? Their "rama" (pain/sorrow), they transfer it to someone else. A transfer of "rama" is needed. It creates a very well-known illness called rheumatism. It's so common that they had to create stores for it. Bricorama, Corama, these are all people who have "rama," they have a store for it. They go there, "Ah, I have a "rama" with a pipe. Sir, you are welcome, we will take care of your "rama." Yes. But you have to create a newspaper, "Terama," it's well known. Yes. So many people have "rama," "rama" in the end is useless. What do they say? "Yes, but it's stronger than me," and then it causes pain, and then I'm sad, and it's difficult. Often people tell me, "But you never sulk." I tell them the truth, I don't have time. There. They don't understand why it takes time to sulk. Well, yes, because I'll give you a phrase from Chazal. Sadness is the time you grant to your pain. There is pain and the objective. You got slapped, well, your son got divorced, well, you lost 100,000 euros. Well, now you can worry for 1 hour or worry for 10 years, it's up to you. The problem is that pain is like a gas. The more volume you give it, the more it spreads, and the inner world is infinite. That's why you have to express your problem. Why do you have to talk? Yes. Why? You have to do post-traumatic therapy, sometimes pre-traumatic therapy. Yes, it has to come out. You have to say it. Why? Because when you talk, you start talking, and when you start, one day, you will stop. Do you follow me or not? Like people who tell me, "I went through very, very serious things when I was young. I prefer not to talk about it." It was someone in the family, it happened from such an age to such an age, he touched me in such a place. I say, "Well, talk about it." "But I can't talk, I'll die, I'm suffocating." I say, "The more you don't talk, the more you don't manage to talk." Write it down. She says, "But it would be too long." Offer the first "ramette" [laughter]. What, what are you going to write? Four volumes of Harry Potter. What are you going to write? Look, in one sentence, between the ages of 8 and 12, my cousin touched me. That's it, you're done. The story is written. Yes. What are you going to add? The decor, the wallpaper, the atmosphere, the sunset, my cousin's gaze. All that is literature. The truth is, there is a problem, and you will expel it. You will empty yourself. That's the principle of "vidouy" (confession/emptying). That's "vidouy." It's "empty yourselves." It's that when you keep the "yetzer hara" (evil inclination) inside you, it rots you from the inside. Yes. But when you expel it, it creates projection. And projection is the beginning of the solution because first you recognize, and then you take a step back, then you analyze, then you see the difference between the rotten person who sinned and you, and you see that you are not that guy and that you were caught by circumstances and that you were caught by your immaturity, and so you start to solve your problem. That's "teshuvah" (repentance). "Teshuvah" is the mature perspective you have on an event that you suffered due to immaturity. Okay? But the one who doesn't want to grow up will remain with his guilt, and because he feels guilty, what does he do? He accuses others, he accuses religion, he accuses God. Yes. Simply because he cannot accept his own mistake. It's bisexual, the patriarchs. Yes. So, what's the idea? It's that in life, we will have magnificent events and we will have horrors, we will have good times and we will have bad times. And sometimes it's sunny and sometimes it rains, and sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. Yes, that's how it is. The child is extraordinary and sometimes he's terrible. You say, "But why? But all that time you spend is useless." You know, there was a great French chef who said, "With a drop of egg yolk, you can make a meter-long mayonnaise. You just have to whisk it." So when you catch yourself whisking mayonnaise, okay, it's not easy, I suffer too much, it's difficult, nobody understands me, nobody loves me. Even if he agrees, but you paid him for a pool, he won't say, "He attacked the city thanks to you." Okay, so it's normal, isn't it? Get people who will explain to you clearly, giving you 5 or 10 reasons why it's actually a false problem. But again, it's not easy because there is a certain comfort, and in comfort, there is a strong state of victimhood. It's comfortable because life is movement. Yes. Even Albert Einstein, whose remains were never found, said the secret of the universe is movement. But the Torah had already said, "Adam Olam, man, you will go in my laws." It means that man is movement. Life is movement. Birth is movement, everything is in movement. Yes, the cells, the dandruff on Maurice's head, the wood is working. When you buy furniture at IKEA. Yes, you assemble it. It says on it, in 6 months you have to re-tighten because the wood is alive. So you have to re-tighten. Yes, like the "chal" (ring) among Moroccans. You have to re-tighten. Because the woman is alive, she moves. It's an image. We know that reality is much worse. But but what does that mean? Stay calm. It means that in fact, you have to accept that reality is reality, but that this reality, once again, to move forward, we are obliged to project because "mar'ou" (he sees) is an "an'olad" (child), so you always have to have two, three, four steps ahead. You have to project in real estate, you have to project in essence, you have to project in "sinour" (improvement/decoration). You see, the child is like that. So you have to, I see he is sensitive, so I will have to mold him. Yes, I see he lacks confidence, so I will have to build his self-confidence. The other one has too much confidence, even though he is not built up. So that's pride. Pride is a shell. The shell prevents connection with reality. So I know that later he will have communication problems with his wife. So today, I have to learn to break the shell, to put myself in a situation of confidence. That means that all life, in fact, we make calculations. Yes. You see that this guy is a good salesman. Go ahead, make him work. Ah no, who does he think he is? Who does he think he is? What do we have to do with it? He generates 4 million euros in turnover per week. Yes. Ah yes, but he thinks he's the boss. He thinks he's the boss. But no, it's you who are complexed, Gabriel. I had a cousin, he had a small salesman, a nice little salesman like that, for 20 years. But he was crazy. He was sick. So at the time, he was doing electronic components, all that, memory cards and all. And the guy brought in orders of 100,000, 200,000, 400,000 pieces. So he said, "Listen, moreover, at the time, the margins were so thin because everything changed all the time, it fluctuated." By the time the LBC cards were manufactured, it was 50% madness. I said, "Listen, we'll do without your partnership, you're too dangerous for us." Yes, the guy is a rocket. No, it's too much. We are a small SME. The guy left. Well, he made Cyborg, that boss, I don't know if you know him. Yes, computers. He did a TV ad to sell. He's a guy, he made billions and billions. Well, it's a race car. You can't use it to buy bread. Now, that can scare some people. I have friends too. They are so qualified that when they arrive for a company, the guy says, "I can't hire you, sir, I'm the HR director, you are 20 times more qualified than me. I'm afraid." There are also women who can't get married. The other one has four doctorates. The other one passed his BP on the first try at the "orte" (yeshiva). How will he do it? So the girl, she does the "yes" because if she shows her intelligence, she will never get married. Wait, I'm not going to marry the mistress. It's complicated, isn't it? To involve, to apply, also the same. So the idea is this, that life, once again, we are condemned to project, but projection leaves a space. For what? For surprise. Now the question is, when you have a surprise, do you have the shock absorbers to absorb the surprise? You know, on cars, there are shock absorbers. On the stomach, there are abdominal muscles. Now that's a late pregnancy, I think I'll give birth in retirement, it's not possible. Yes, but you have abdominal muscles because you take a punch. There are abdominal muscles. If there weren't, well, the guy would hit your spine. Yes, it's the same. You have working capital. Well, you have a reserve of money, I don't know, you have points on your retirement, you have things that the tax authorities will never find. Okay? You created a company, well, it's called Black and Black, created by the way with a priest named Jean-Michel without a receipt. Okay. You are obliged because you anticipate. That's it. Bad luck, the guy draws lots, the tax inspector tells you to go to hell. A reassessment, there was a problem with scoliosis. You straightened up, you have a back of 14 million euros, but really straightened up, you are really straightened up, but there are no more wrinkles. Then you'll say, "Yes, it's the "ara" (evil), it's the "chror" (curse) of the mother-in-law." No, as Confucius said. Some say it's not Mandarin, but anyway, there's a certain confusion. But the idea is this, that in truth, once again, we never know what life will bring. We never know how it will turn out. We never know. You have parents, they are in great shape. Your little one has an AVC, a vegetable. It's not possible. He's a building, the guy in Tunis, he used to carry pianos, and now he can't even sit down. He can't even sit down anymore. By the way, he was inspired, he played the piano. Well, it's true that the grandfather was a shepherd, but that's irrelevant. So, so the idea is, I'm in shape, I don't know, I [laughter] don't know, it must be the altitude or the proximity of Braac, but the idea is, as soon as we leave Braac, we enter the "del" (chaos) or what? So, so you have understood now that in fact, you must have hope, you must have anticipation, you must have energy, but at the same time, you must have abdominal muscles. Yes, it's like children. Be careful when they are 20 years old and you tell them, "Come on, tell me your memories, your best vacation," and the kid says, "Ah Dad, it's when you took me to the synagogue, you held my hand." So you spent about 600,000 euros on vacations. Disneyland, you took him to Nevilleab, the guy remembers that. Yes, your daughter tells you, "It's when you peeled potatoes with me, you told me how you met Dad." That's what she remembers, things that cost you nothing, while you spent fortunes to please him. Well, it was also to please yourself, to tell the truth. Well, but that means sometimes we don't know where the principal is and where the superficial is. Yes. What do we remember? What do children remember? How does the other person understand? How does the other person not see all my efforts while remembering all my mistakes? That's life. That's why you need solid shock absorbers and a bulletproof vest. There are incredible backlashes. Now, if you have prepared yourself that there is good and bad in life, even the mayor told you, you are married for better and for worse, okay? Because "sa mère" (his mother) is the worst. Among Ashkenazim, there is the worst and the best. But the worst is the best. She is the worst. Besides, she wears the pants. So the logic is, in life there are good moments, there are bad moments. The red threads, the fish everywhere, the eye, what is going to happen will happen. So you can't, in the end, you can't create the future, you can't mold events, you can't reorient energies. But there is one thing you can do. You can build a very strong person who can take it, and that is you. So you work on your "emunah" (faith), you work on your self-confidence, you work on your "simcha" (joy), you work on your balance, you work on your couple like a dike that can withstand all storms. You build your children so that they are very strong to cross the ice floe of life. Yes. You arm your daughter so she doesn't get fooled by the first smooth-talker. You give honor to your son so he doesn't get tricked by a girl who has incredible moral qualities, because we don't know what can happen in life. So in this logic, what happened? Once again, there is Yaakov Avinu, and he saw a blood-stained tunic. Well, you saw a very bad school report. Well, you had a difficult year, you gained nothing, and you have to pay 7 million in social contributions. Well, you were tricked by your brother-in-law who made fake papers. He took 10 million euros of real estate from you. Yes. So, there will be slaps in life. The question is, do you look at the slap or do you look further? That's what Hashem said. Hashem said, "But I don't understand, because you are aware that Joseph was sold by his brothers. He arrived in Egypt at the slave market. He was bought by someone who bought him for his beauty, by a person who was of complicated morals." That means he could have been mayor of Paris at one point, at the time when there was the "arge de la Noé" (Noah's Ark, a reference to a district in Paris) for those who know. He was bought for his beauty, for his personal needs. Rashi says. Yes. Well, it must be said that the guy was not a genius. His name was Petit Phare. He arrives in this family, bad luck. Well, the woman married to a guy like that is frustrated. He is a fatal beauty. [laughter] So all day long, she tries to make him sin. She wears clothes, she sings every day, and she's beautiful too. Yes. In addition, it's the arrival of the guy who will come into the relationship with him. So she's like crazy. So him, imagine, he goes from the state of slave to the state of being harassed. Okay? Well, I know many people dream of it, but you have to have the face to go with it. So, he is accused. He is accused. Okay. He is sent to prison. He stays there for 10 years. Then two ministers appear. Well, precisely, he interpreted their dreams, and they dream. Yes. And they are very close to Pharaoh. So, what does he do? Well, he interprets the dreams. Bad luck, both of them. He says, "You die, you suffocate, you stay here." This Jew. Yes. And 2 years later, he gets out, he becomes viceroy of Egypt. Well, he couldn't become king because it was Pharaoh, but viceroy, he could. Yes. And at that moment, he became king. Now, it's true that it took the time it took, but how did it start? With the sale by the brothers, so with the disappearance of Joseph. So Hashem says, "I don't understand why Yaakov is complaining. I am busy making his son king." And he says, "My path from Hashem." Okay? Obviously, you all have the question. Okay, but he doesn't know, does he? Yes, he sees the blood-stained tunic, his son has disappeared. He has difficulty seeing the positive in a situation that is so negative. That's what he was reproached for. He was reproached for being paralyzed by reality and being blind to the potential. Did you understand or not? Because he saw the terrible school report after 3 years of effort with 14,000 euros of tuition, 18,000 euros of private lessons, and the other one brings him a report card with a minus 2 in math, minus 4 in French. Negative averages in French are rare. He says, "But how could you get -4?" He says, "Yes, but the teacher can't stand that I make three mistakes in my first name." But what's your name? Dan J. [laughter] How did you do that? Yes, there are children. No, because when people complain about their children, I tell them, "You know, he can do worse." He can, because the abysses of heaviness are accessible. Besides, we say it, "abyss." Yes. So, what's the idea? It's that Yaakov saw, we reproached him, why did you complain? And he says, "But I saw the colored tunic." Yes, but you didn't see the corpse, and you had two options. Either he is dead, and what did you say? He is dead. He was reproached for that. Exactly the opposite of Rabbi Akiva. Rabbi Akiva, the Haggadah recounts that, well, the Temple was destroyed, and there are "tana'im" (scholars) there, they are looking, they see the floor of the Temple because they razed everything. They walk. Yes. And they see foxes walking where the Holy of Holies was. And all the rabbis start to cry. "We had the splendor, we had the divine presence, we had the Shekhinah, we had the light of the world, we were the center of the world, and now there are foxes trampling the holiest place in the world." Yes. So everyone was crying, and Rabbi Akiva was smiling. "But how can you laugh?" At the limit, it's blasphemous. Yes. And he laughs, he doesn't laugh, but he smiles. He says, "But how can you smile?" He said, "I smile because this prophecy that the Temple will be destroyed was written. There is another prophecy that it will be rebuilt." So he said, "I smile because since this one..."

She applied herself, so the next one will also apply herself. That's a very, very profound line of reasoning. I'll give you a secret, it will save you time. You know when you talk to people about good, they tell you, "Yes, but there's evil." I said, "But look, the proof that good exists is that evil exists. How would there be light if there wasn't darkness? Yeah. How would there be life if there wasn't death? That means that evil is the proof of good. Depression is the proof of simra." Because yes, I'm very bad, I'm very bad, I'm very bad. But how did you get there? Well, I worked a lot on myself, I messed myself up, I made a list of everything that's wrong, and thank God, it worked. So that means that if you had fought for positivism and sought good and maintained your morale and surrounded yourself with nice people, listened to music, and fulfilled yourself, you wouldn't have been depressed. That's true. Just as good works, evil works. It's the same in everything. You want to make a fortune in real estate? Go to work. No, no, I'm going to find something crazy, start a startup. Startup, well, you know that 80% of startups fail in the first year because startups start down. Yeah, it's tough. Say something crazy, I'm going to... But no. I had a gentleman like that who was taking lessons from me, who was very, very, very rich. Truly people who have made a lot of money. I'm not talking about people now who want to trick all of France. That's another one who confuses a heat pump with a pump pump Africa. But the idea was this. And he used to tell me this. He used to tell me, "But you know, Mr. Wchet, it took me 30 years to become a billionaire in real estate. People want to do it in fifteen minutes." They call me, I have a crazy idea, I have something, I'm going to buy the Louvre, I found financing to buy the Eiffel Tower. It takes time, it takes effort, it takes investment, it takes risks. Yeah, people are in a hurry, here and now, and it doesn't work because even the English say it. Easy come, easy go. Money that comes easily, leaves easily. You can't legitimize everything because you have respiratory problems. So you have to do CO2. No, that has nothing to do with it. There. So the idea is this, that the person actually, well, she understood that life is made of stages, and that within those stages, there are good times and bad times. Now, the problem is that at the moment of the bad time, you are either paralyzed by the bad time. Because you received the biopsy results. Yeah. Because you don't know if it's benign or malignant. Yeah. Because you don't know if the brain was affected. Because you don't know if the head trauma has created lesions, because you don't know. There's a part. Now, when you don't know why you're going in that direction, it's doomed. Now, doctors are always forced. You say, "You know, he's quite old, the results aren't very good because, in fact, he's covering himself, he's covering himself, how do you say it in French?" He's covering himself, so if something happens. Ah, I told you so. You're very strong. If he's saved, it's thanks to them, and if he dies, it's your fault. It's a phenomenon. And these are the ones who imagine the sick. Okay? But the idea is this, that in truth, you must keep your subjective perception for good. Well, my father had the illness. Well, it didn't last long, 3 months, but we fought, we did protocols, we tried naturopathy, we had conferences, we prayed, we had prayer chains. But on the 26th of Nissan at 6:05 in the morning, when he stopped breathing, we said "baruch" and with the same energy we put into fighting the fatal outcome, we put the same energy into accepting that it was over. You'll say, "Well, it's a bit hard to fight reality." But no, it's the opposite. When the person is alive, people give up, they share apartments, they say "Alz Weston, he didn't put them there." But he's alive. Yeah. It's like they bury the living and when he's dead, they refuse. Yeah. Why did he die? What does that mean? Look at the cousin, he cheats on his wife every day. He's in perfect health. He never did anything wrong in his life and he died in 3 weeks. The world is badly made. Does God exist? Where was God at that moment? I don't understand. When you have to fight, you give up, and when you have to accept, you rebel. You're upside down. At Renault, they put the engine in upside down. It's like when you shift into first gear, you go in reverse. In fact, you're upside down. It's important. It's called the hierarchy of priorities, it's called the sense of reality, it's called living your life. Living your life. It's exactly the same. But the difference between Yaakov Avinu's behavior and Rabbi Akiva's behavior is that Rabbi Akiva looked to the future and Yaakov looked to the present. There. Well, listen, have a good Shabbat, too short. Well, for my part, regarding the price you paid. Well, then, Wednesday evening, there's a class in Dubai, if anyone wants to come. So what's the idea? Why is it like this? Why did Rabbi Akiva react like that? Because they say Rabbi Akiva's master was called Ij Gamzu. Why was he called Ij Gamzu? Yeah. The man of "also this." Yeah. Because he always said "Gamzu l'tova." Gamzu l'tova. Now, when we say "gamzu l'tova," it means "also this is for good," which means it wasn't obvious that it was for good. So it seemed like it was bad. And you think that life is a succession of good and bad. Okay? And he was able to say about the bad that even the bad is for good. That's it. In summary. Now, I don't know if you've ever used stairs. They exist here. Because with escalators, we can't tell anymore. But I'll give you a principle. There's a cliff. It's there. A cliff is 30 meters. It's 30 meters. It's there. You say, "It's impossible." In fact, a cliff is a step, it's a 30-meter step. So what do fools do? They look and say, "But wait, it's impossible, how are we going to get to the other side?" Wait, we have to keep moving forward, we have to keep living." But it's not possible. 30 meters, 30 meters, 30 meters, 30 meters, 30 meters. Well, they're there philosophizing, and there's a clever guy who says, "Wait, excuse me, 30 meters, okay, it's impossible, but 17 centimeters is possible. You can climb 17 centimeters." He says, "Yes." What does he do? He digs steps, he digs steps into the cliff. Architects have calculated that a step is 17 centimeters. So about 17 centimeters high, about 20 centimeters flat. Now, every time you climb, there's always a steep side and a flat side that invites a steep side that invites a flat side. Well, that's life. Yeah. You're in 6th grade, you're going to 5th grade, there's a steep side, you have to work. There's a flat side, phew, the satisfaction of passing to 5th grade. Okay? We're a couple of kids. Shut up, your race, your race. Moroccan, and then we control ourselves, we give our best, and we reach a flat side, thank God. We see others arguing, we say "ouana," yeah, it's all over. That means we're moving to another stage. Well, all of life is like that. You work yourself to death, you toil for 5 years, well, you have a cruising speed, well, you're doing well, you're at €5700 per minute of profitability, you're doing well, but you've toiled, you haven't slept for 4 years, half of it you spent in China, but there's the result. So there's a steep side, a flat side. It's the same in everything. Studying Torah, you toil, you die, you pore over the dictionary, the book, the repetition, you cry over the Tosfot, you do tarots on the rabbi, and now you're a scholar, there's the flat side. Some people, no, they can't do it, they see a cliff, what's the Talmud, 2700 pages? Ah, death in Aramaic, besides, I don't like Arabic languages and all that. So it's the same in everything. The wig, how will I cover my head? Well, God gave me beautiful hair. Yeah, it's up to you. It's like that all your life, there will always be a steep side and a flat side. It's always the same. You make an effort with your children, you see the results, you say, "No, it's annoying me, I don't have time for this, I have a manicure." Okay, now that you have four songs, it's "Frère Jacques." Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques, all idiots, ringing the bells, it's normal. It's normal because there are only bells. Okay, but where do these idiots come from? You were told that from 0 to 20 years old, you give your all, and then from 20 to 80 years old, you're relaxed. You say, "No, I don't have time, I don't have time, I'm creating, I'm developing, I'm doing this." So well, you don't have time to take care of things. So now you're 40 years old, you're a bit tired, and your 20-year-old son comes home and says, "Dad, I argued with Jennifer because I didn't do anything all day." Yeah. And his name is Kevin. So what's going to happen to Kevin, it's not a big deal. You say, "What? I don't have the patience now at 50 to take care of my son. I told you to take care of him before. Take care of him when he's little. Take your finger out of your nose, think before you speak. Work on your character traits. Go to work. Go on, review your Mishna. Do your math exercises again. With, I'll add 40 more. Ah, you're hard on me. You're hard on me. Okay, but now you have a brain that goes 4000 miles an hour. You still have a math class at 14 and a half. But you're exhausted. You say, "No, I had a very happy childhood. Lightness, carefree, cycling." And there you see him at 38, an idiot, unmarried, he has no self-confidence. He thinks all women are mean except his mother. Besides, he's the one who does Manana every year. The youngest, Félix, it's your turn. Go ahead. The same as last year. But it's horrible. It's horrible. But it's true. That's the logic. You plow, you sow, you harvest, you toil, you receive. You kill your traits for your shalom bayit. You have peace. You say, "No, I'm not changing, I am who I am, I will never change. My father never changed." But your mother hanged herself. I'm exaggerating. She did it with pills. But the idea is the same. So you understand why someone looks to the future and moves forward, and why someone is paralyzed by the present. In fact, it's in the word because it says "gamz les tova." Yeah. Also, we say "Kol d'avid Rachmana l'tovah." Everything that God does is for good. Now, the problem is that you will have difficulty. Well, because of the leukemia of the 8-year-old child, you have difficulty. Yeah. The other one who is with respiratory failure, who has been a vegetable for 48 years, you will have difficulty seeing the good. So, I'll give you a piece of advice if it can help you. You don't have to accept it. You can insist on suffering. That can even give you a life project. Because in fact, "tov" doesn't mean good. "Tov" means good in the language of Loulpan. Yes. When you want to wake up a card player, you tell him "poker tov." It's not serious. Yeah, but "tov" in the language of the rabbis and in the language of the Torah doesn't mean good, it means complete. Mazal tov, it doesn't mean a good mazal, it means that the mazal of the man is incomplete without the woman, and the mazal of the woman is incomplete without the man. When the two pieces of mazal come together, the mazal is complete. It's called mazal tov. When Hashem created the world, he reached the last day, he said "ve'yin tov meod." He said, "Why tov meod?" The midrash says because on that day he created. He said, "I don't understand, yetzer hara, it's called tov." He said, "Yes, because without yetzer hara, the world has no engine." The engine of the world is yetzer hara. Now, you have a super car, very, very beautiful, a Ferrari completely rebuilt on the basis of an 894,000 euro model from that era, but there's no engine. It's for the living room, you see. You can do... They even put a sound system for the noise. Yeah, but you need an engine. Now, yetzer hara is the engine. Now, if you master this engine, it will lead you to Gan Eden. But if you succumb to it, it will lead you to Gehennom. It's astonishing. Yeah. Someone once told me, "What's the speed of light?" I said, "Look at my response speed, you'll understand." Yeah. So, so the idea is this. The idea, the idea is to understand that what I was talking about before, the engine, the engine. So yetzer hara is tov, but it is ra. The Gemara says yetzer hara is evil, it says "shefilua." Even its creator called it evil. Now, it's not evil, evil, evil, belbut Lucifer. No, that's a version we've crossed out. I won't dwell on it, it's not worth a cent. But the Maral of Prague, in his work "Tevuot Shor," says that it is something that has no purpose, that does not enter into a positive evolutionary process. That's it. Okay? That's why the first son of Judah, who didn't want to give offspring to his brother, and when he was with his sister-in-law, he threw his seed on the ground, what was his name? Onan. The same letters as "ra" because wasting seed is the ultimate evil, since there are 250 million sperm in a drop of semen. It's like you left ten Americas in the sink. A phenomenon, it's in the sewers. It should be the third. Okay. So I've given you a little suppository, assuming you've understood where I put it. Okay. But but the idea is this, that the potential for life, yeah, contains death. The potential for death contains life. Now, when you optimize life, it becomes tov. When you waste life, it's called ra. So yetzer hara, once again, yeah, it gives you, it creates nothingness, it creates death, it creates destruction, but at the same time, if you master it, it creates tzaddikim, it creates extraordinary mitzvot, it creates kedushah, it creates the divine presence, it's thanks to all of that. So it is ra because it has no purpose, but when you give it a purpose, it becomes tov. That's it. So, in the same way, if tov means complete, so "ma'asim tovim" are not good deeds. Are you following me or not? That's ba. That was developed by a segment of non-religious Judaism called the Scouts. We're here to do ba, but it was very, very quickly challenged. They even silenced them because they say Scouts, Scouts, Scouts of France, Scouts of Israel, Scouts. Yeah, but the idea is this, that tov means complete. So "ma'asim tovim" doesn't mean good deeds, it means complete deeds. Okay? A complete deed means I'm going to do a deed that is complete. For example, if I do tzedakah, but in doing tzedakah, I shame the poor because I forced them to extend their hand. I brought cameras. Yeah. So my mitzvah contains an aveirah. Okay. I cause trouble all day, but I say, "With this, I'm going to help the kollel." So it's no wonder the kollel has an incredible suicide rate. Yeah, well, it's normal, rotten money. But I say, "Yes, but it's still better than leaving it in Monte Carlo." But anyway, you do both. That's true. Okay. So the idea is that there is tov and ra. Tov means complete. Now, strangely, ra, yetzer hara, means incomplete, because what is yetzer hara called? Madame Hasser says that man's mazal is always lacking. Now, what is the lack? It's yetzer hara. It's good. Now, why is yetzer hara called lack? Because yetzer hara exists when you are lacking. That means the presence of yetzer hara is symptomatic of man's absence. When you are absent, it is present. And as in nature, emptiness does not exist, okay? So if you are not conscious, you are automatically unconscious. If you don't have knowledge, you are automatically ignorant. Yeah. If you are not mature, you are automatically immature. Maybe you can say, "No, I'm neither one nor the other." Yeah, the neither/nor, or the "at the same time," we see that it ended badly. It's normal, the guy is neither a woman nor a man. It's complicated, that's why he has to sleep with his grandmother. But but the idea is this. Yeah. The idea is that there is good and there is evil. Okay? There is positive, there is negative. And when the person makes a choice, she will go to fill the lack within her. And that's called the journey of becoming an adult, of becoming a tzaddik, but she will also fill the lack that exists in reality, because all our lives we will enter situations where something is missing. That's why it's written "Hashem created the world to complete it." The Gemara asks the question: what is better, God's creation or man's creation? You, as good fools, will say it's God's creation. The Gemara says no, because God created the wheat, but man created the bread. Are you following me or not? God created the wood, but man built the house. So that means man is there to perfect, to complete God's work. In this, he is associated with God. Now, that means that if God had not intervened, if man had not intervened, then the world would be incomplete. Now, when you come to a situation, well, that situation is there, but something is missing. Someone is missing. For example, you are fathers. Well, you've noticed that when you're not home, it's chaos. They jump around, they don't do their homework, they do this. The father comes home, everyone says, "Good evening, Dad." Good evening. But tell me, two minutes ago, you were doing gymnastics, playing with your sister like D'Artagnan with knitting needles, you put stickers all over the house. Come explain to your father now that it's because of your sister. So the father is supposed to bring authority. Why? Because he will be the man of the situation. Are you following me or not? It's your role. You are mothers. The mother has a role to play. So there is a whole situation, and on the floor, there is a silicone envelope that is deformed. They say, "What is this thing?" Well, the woman of the situation is missing. So you will step into your role as a mother, you will step into your role as a wife, you will step into your role as a mother-in-law. Yeah. Or not. Now, if you don't do it, something will be missing. So, so this is very, very important. I'm going to tell you something very, very important. Just because you manage to legitimize your absence doesn't make it presence. I'll explain. Because my daughter-in-law is like that, because my son-in-law is like that, because my mother-in-law is like that, because my husband is like that, because... But I don't give a damn. I mean, it's your trial, you have to grow with it. Yes, but I would have liked it to be different. I would have liked it not to be the same. I wanted... I'm tired of listening to incompetent people. Especially when they get together, because it's unbearable, because one competent person is okay, but two... there's still no understanding. [Laughter] Besides, it's becoming almost automatic because of this chatbot. I farted, it's nauseating, and it can even be extremely embarrassing after a while. B, it's not chot that if you believe in God, I've already said it, I say it every evening, so I'll repeat it. La'una, what is it? It's not eating kosher and keeping Shabbat and covering your head, and that's obvious. That's being Jewish. So you see that your father cut short the discussion after 8 days. [Laughter] because he put it there rather than elsewhere. Imagine if he had cut off your nose. Yeah. So la'una is not about practicing religion, that's obvious. Yeah. La'una is accepting that the reality in front of you is adapted to you. That's how it is. It's my husband, it's my wife, it's... Ah, you mean at that point, there would never be a divorce. Indeed, you're thinking too loudly. I'll give the answer. Divorce, when you've done everything to make it work and it doesn't work, is a mitzvah to divorce. From my little experience, I don't have your experience, I've had about 30,000 couples in my life. I've noticed that not only have people not done everything to make it work, but they've even done everything to make it *not* work. So, one should stop observing a result based on the efforts made. So you do what you have to do. So He will send you events, and these events are adapted to you. There are no mistakes. If you said, "Yes, but I'm not a believer." Well, in quantum physics, they say that a harmonious mass of atoms cannot be found in a certain place unless it is itself in harmony with the atomic context that hosts it. I'll translate that into French for people who regularly practice "cervolant." It means that we are where we are supposed to be. There. So whether you are a believer and say, "It's God who created the situation," or you are not a believer and say, "It's quantum physics that explains the situation," in both cases, there is no... it is. Now, be careful, the fact that you examine 100% that the situation is adapted to you does not imply that you are adapted to the situation. There. Are you following me or not? And all the work, all the efforts, and all the construction, and all the development of the couple, and all the self-questioning psychologically, and all the study of Torah, and all the fulfillment of mitzvot, all of that is for what? To adapt to a reality that is adapted to you in the absolute. Okay? Because if you say, "Well, if it's adapted, I don't need to adapt." But no, it's adapted in the absolute. Well, for example, you're 13 years old, well, you're in 5th grade, it's adapted. But since you've done nothing since elementary school, you say, "Yes, the problems are in Chinese." No, you're just bad at it. Oh, they put the book upside down. No, no, it's not Russian, it's French. But you can't read, you're maladapted. Now, the effort of adaptation that we make to adapt, that's what makes us adapted. So, I'll translate: the situation is incomplete, and I am incomplete. We are put in a situation, and I must complete it. Now, whether you complete the math exercise, or you complete the situation by apologizing, or you complete your children's expectations by telling them you love them, in all cases, you come to complete a situation that is lacking. So now the situation is complete. What is it called? Tov. So it's called a completed act. Now, there is an extraordinary phenomenon. Only the good Lord could prove such a thing, could find such a thing. It's that when you make the effort to complete the situation, by a mirror effect, the situation completes you. Why? Because you are incomplete. Because we said that yetzer hara is what prevents you from being complete. Now, the symptom of the presence of yetzer hara is immaturity. So when you manage to master the situation, the resonance of the effort you've made to adapt is called maturity. So the more you take responsibility, the more you grow. So you see that the effort you make makes you complete. But at the same time, you complete the situation. Okay? Do you understand what I'm saying? There. So there's no point in saying, "It's not the time, it's too hard, God is sending me unbearable things, you don't know her, she's crazy, he's crazy, the rabbi doesn't speak well, Torah is hard, the tuiles, I'm afraid of catching mad cow disease." No, no, that doesn't catch like that. Besides, to catch a brain disease, you need to have a brain. [Laughter] And you're already crazy, but your brain. Okay. So the idea, the idea is what? That all our lives, we will pass like this in front of stairs that we will have to climb, in front of trials that we will have to assume. But to succeed, be careful to understand that this trial is actually an opportunity. You have to look at the tov, but not the tov of "bisouours maour j'aime maour j'aime, I'm going to die, but thank God everything is fine. I have nothing to eat, but it's for my own good. The little one is sick, but it must be a house or what? He's sick. He's sick. You have to treat him now. No, it's useless to treat him. It's M shamaim. And your heaviness, what is it? Min satanim, there are doctors, there are chemotherapy, you have to fight, you have to go. Yeah, but baba salé, don't take the medicine. Why aren't you salty? It's not even my sweet hand. Okay. So the logic, you've understood, is that "gamzov" doesn't mean "this too is for good." It means that this too comes to complete. David, it doesn't mean everything God does is for good. It means that everything God does is to complete you and for you to complete Him. Now, we will spend our lives encountering situations that are waiting to be completed. And we are there to complete them. Every time I complete, I complete the situation, and it completes me, and we move forward. Okay? Now, the more complete we are, the more complete our vision is. The more incomplete we are, the more incomplete our vision is. People who are not built, people who are uncomfortable in their own skin, people who are full of complexes, they have a negative vision. It's normal. Why? Because if you take, if we put a hand in front of a lit lamp, how many shadows are there? No, how many fingers are in the shadow of the hand? I'll lower the level, perhaps. So I'll start again. There. So if I put my hand in front of a lamp, in the shadow of the hand, how many fingers are there? Well, it will depend on the number of fingers. Well, we won't remove them all, we'll keep one for honor. But the idea is this. Yeah. It's to understand. You're sensitive, after all. So you have to understand that the hand is the person, and the shadow is the act. So the act of the person is the projection of the person. Now, if the hand is complete, there are five fingers. If the person is complete, the act is complete. That means if you see that the act is incomplete, you are not complete. Now, some people can't finalize the file. Some people can't finish the book. Some people can't finish the sentence. Some people can't finish the shiur. Some people can't finish their choices. Some people can't finish their sentences. Yeah. Why do you produce incompleteness? Because you are incomplete. We call a fish a complete thing. That is to say, reality testifies for you about what you are. It's like a stamp. You take a stamp, you say, "Oh, I wonder what this stamp is. I wonder what this stamp is." You stamp it, it says "Paid." You understood that on the stamp, it says "Paid." Are you following me or not? That's life. Well, you drink alcohol, then you say, "Ah, I have a liver problem." Well, what can I tell you? It's normal, you drink alcohol. Some people think that the coma élique of Shabbat is a mitzvah because cavod and vodka have the same letters. No, not at all, not at all. The coma élique is not a mitzvah. There is no mitzvah to be an alcoholic. Ah, I thought it was the revot Shabbat. The irvot of Shabbat. No, no. And the joints, what are the irvot? The week. Yeah. So, so the logic is that, once again, every situation is an opportunity. Now, for me to be able to take advantage of the opportunity, I need to see the tov. But as we said, tov means complete, which means that in the situation, listen carefully, and this is a higher level, the good and the bad of the situation form the complete. Because you've noticed that in all situations, well, there's good and bad, because you want to have Schwarzenegger's body, but that's 6 hours a day of weightlifting for 15 years. You say, "No, I'm in a hurry." Well, you take an inflatable plastic thing, you put it on, you take a picture, and that's it. You say, "No, but I want to bench press 180 kg." Ah, well, that's 15 years. Oh, it's hard. Well, that's how it is. You want to know the Shas by heart, that's 15 years. Ah, no, you say, "No, it's still long, I'll get an implant." They've made implants now. You get an implant with Babakama, you put it here. Tac, hop, you imprint it, and you receive it, you become Babakama. Okay. Didn't see that one coming. You bunch of addicts. So, what's the idea? Why are there always advantages and disadvantages? Yeah. Why are there things that bother you and things that interest you? Why is there evil and good? Why in this school are there good sides and bad sides? Why in your husband is there good and bad? Why in your wife, in your children? Why? I'll give you the secret. It's that in fact, what you want is good, but the means to achieve it is evil. You want to have a beautiful body, I tell you you have to lift weights for 10 years. You say, "No, that's a lot." You say, "I'd like to be a doctor." Well, that's 10 years. 10 years. So I'll make a plaque. I'll go to the guy. If you write "doctor," okay? You write, I don't know, "graduated," something, "licensed from all faces." Okay? No, you want to be a doctor, it's 10 years. Now, what bothers you is the 10 years. But it's...

The 10 years that make you a doctor. Do you want a "béchalom bait" couple? It's 10 years of work. 10 years, 10 years of self-questioning, 10 years of communication, 10 years of kindness, 10 years of recognition, 10 years of dialogue, 10 years of fulfilled intimacy. Well, I'd like something easy. Like, you plug and play, you know, you marry her, you plug her in, boom, she prints. That's not how women are. A woman, it takes a lot, a lot of energy and a lot of money. They say, my very dear wife. Very expensive. Someone told me, "But why does a woman cost so much?" I say, "It's the price of a smile. You want the face? That's free." [Laughter] It's true. You bring her the diamond, you bring her the bracelet, you bring her the necklace, you bring her the house, you bring her the kitchen for €40,000. You know how to talk to women, [laughter] you take her to a party, you tell her about the paths, you say, listen, the important stuff is for later. Yeah. So, so what's the idea? It's that you have to accept that good and evil are part of the same project. Okay? But not evil in the blood, the evil that brings evil, that brings trouble, that brings suffering, that brings... No. Evil, meaning what bothers you. Yeah. Good, meaning what interests you. Now, when you've understood that the path to accessing what interests you is by sublimating what bothers you, then, you see that everything is one. That's also it. Gamzou les tova, it's one. Yeah, like the physiotherapist will tell you. He's there. Yeah. So, you have a twisted foot. The guy says, "We're going to do sessions." You say, "But it hurts." You say, "You can stay with the twisted foot, you'll do sessions, but it hurts." Okay, but you have a straight foot, it's up to you. You say, "Couldn't we have a straight foot without doing physiotherapy?" Well, I didn't break your leg. All of life is like that. You want educated children, you have to educate them. No, but they're in Jewish school. Thank God. He became a dealer in Tel Aviv. Yeah. No, education isn't school. Education gives knowledge. Education is at home, you have to educate them. Take your finger out of your nose, work, be serious, tidy your room. So you support your sister, you protect your brother, you explain to him, you sit with him, you sit down, well, you sleep in the same room. Yeah, but he cries. Well, he cries, but he's your brother. All of this is a lesson. It means you're giving him the tools to be able to cross the ice floe of life. Or you say, no, everyone their own room, and everyone is selfish, and everyone dies and suffocates. Then you say, it's strange, they don't talk to each other anymore since they got married, and what's more, they never call me. Why would you talk to a slot machine? What would you look like? So you see that the child isn't, isn't educated, so he's not complete. So he's incomplete. Are you following me or not? So that means that there is reality, which is what you see, and there is potential, and there is the future, which is not seen. Now, what do we call the relationship with what is not seen? We call it belief. The relationship with what is seen, we call it vision. And what do we call the relationship with what is not seen? We call it belief. So what I see, I see it. What I don't see, I believe it. There are people who only believe what they see. Well, they're bothered. They're very bothered. Yes, because belief is the ability to invest in what is not seen. Okay? Now, the problem is that when you don't believe in what you don't see, then everything you don't see doesn't exist. But not only must you believe in what you don't see, but you must also be able to get involved with the same intensity as you invest in what you see. For example, you don't see the future, you have to believe in it. If you don't believe in it, it doesn't exist. The child's potential, you have to believe in it. The school says, "Well, you know, your kid is a bit slow, he's a bit ADHD, he's a bit out there." You say, "Listen, I'm the parent. You do your role as a school. I'll do my role as a parent. I believe in him. I'm going to fight for him. He'll do psychology, he'll do hypnosis, he'll do encouragement, he'll do sports, he'll... And thank God, there he is, he's fulfilled, he's grown, he's married. So, where is the mentally ill person? Now, it's true that there was a situation. It's true that there were deficiencies, but I fought because I understood that it was my trial, and God sent it to me. So now I have to help him fill the gaps that he has genetically from me, and I know the gaps because they come from me. But when I fight for him, strangely, helping him fill his gaps strangely fills mine. So the therapy for parents is the children, or I'll keep saying, it's your fault. That's it, that's the rotten race. That's your parents' genes. Listen, first of all, they took the envelopes, the fate of the marriage. So you can continue to transfer guilt and avoid the main project of life, which is to become a complete person. Now, you will be completed by your wife. Your wife will be completed by you. You two will complete the couple. Then, you two as parents will complete the children. The children will complete you. You two will also complete your parents and your in-laws. Okay? Then you will complete your families. Then you will complete your entourage. Then you will complete your community. We spend our lives building ourselves. That's it. That's it. Now, when you have become complete, in truth, you are whole. When you are incomplete, it means you are still living with your deficiencies. Do you know what we call deficiencies after death? Hell. That's hell. People imagine flames. They tear off their fingernails, they poke out their eyes, they impose the face of their mother. No. Don't exaggerate either. The Nazis didn't invent that. Yeah. No, the world of lack is called in the language of the Sages, the world of lack. Okay, so everyone can know their hell. But people ask, are you a Cartesian, a logical person, do you frankly believe in hell? I say, of course. Look at the addict, put him in a padded room, there's no drug. What does he live? Hell. Take the angry person, yeah, who is in front of the nightclub screen, Mouloud, who is 2.14 meters tall and 124 kg, all muscle. The angry person is frustrated at not being able to send him away. And he, he is polite. Mouloud says, [laughter] he's 70 cm taller, he says, "Do you have a problem? You're looking at me strangely." Mouloud knows that the guy's wife will be taken tonight because he'll take it out on her or his kids. Why? Because he's frustrated. What is frustrated? He is lacking. Do you understand the idea or not? That means that all his life, if we don't address his deficiencies, we suffer them if we are mature. We make others suffer them if we are immature. All this why? Because you are not whole. Now, you'll say, "Yes, but again, it's not easy in life, there are situations." Well, that's the question. Here, the question is step 1, question, answer, T. Step 2, question, answer, step 3, question, answer. All of life is like that, it's the man of the situation. You will be a man of salvation, you will be a fighter. Yeah. On the trial, and you will come out stronger or not? Or you will spend your life justifying. Yes, in fact, I feel bad about myself because my father didn't breastfeed me. My mother didn't give me enough love, the rabbi disgusted me with religion. Uh, uh, pork is good, they don't let me eat it, they don't let me go to churches. That's why I feel like I'm filled with God. She's making me crazy. If you look at me, I told him, "You know, he's deaf, he told me Jesus. [Laughter] But I tell him, 'But you're an idiot, stop!' He said, 'I know I'm an idiot.'" So what are we saying? We're saying, another third level or fourth, I don't know, I stopped counting. Yeah. That it's a complete vision. That the more you take a step back in life, the more you realize that what you considered bad was actually good. Sometimes it's short-term, okay, you got a flat tire, you missed the plane, but you were going to sign a billion-dollar deal in China. You say, "But I missed the plane." Well, on the other hand, the plane crashed. Well, so it saved your life. Now, there are idiots who will say, "Yes, but still, I missed the plane, I missed a deal." God could have made me get the deal and not miss the plane. But he, if you hadn't missed the plane, there wouldn't have been a deal. Or in retrospect. Okay. Well, you got a flat tire. Okay. Well, the party stopped. You tell me, "Yes, but I got a flat tire." Okay, but you married her. You had 14 children, thank God, you have 150 grandchildren, all righteous. Well, luckily you got a flat tire. But that's the idea. It will never stop. I have a friend, his son has peritonitis. Do you know what peritonitis is? It's a severe appendicitis attack that can kill a person because if it bursts inside, the person has internal bleeding, they're dead. Now, they took him to the hospital as an emergency. He told me, he was in the operating room, he said when the guy incised the appendix, it jumped out, it came out of the body. It was an appendix of frog origin. Yeah. You say, "But that's horrible, man, he's 9 years old, he has peritonitis, he almost died. What kind of trial is this?" But the surgeon, when he removed the appendix, there was a tumor behind it. It was small, he saved the boy. He would have come back in 15 years with... because he's a kid who doesn't complain. He would have said, "My stomach hurts a little, but it's not serious." His mother told him, "Take a painkiller," when he had a tumor. If you have humor, well, you die laughing, but if you don't. So you say, thank God he had peritonitis. Your son was in an extraordinary school. You killed yourself to get him in. You became a big donor. Bad luck. There, the principal was your ex-wife's ex. He said, "I'll get revenge on the kid." He had him expelled from school. Now, there's another school. It's rotten. But it's rotten. Now, the teacher in your son's class is mentally ill. He's a psychopath. He was dangerous. He broke the child, he castrated him, he spoke to him badly. You're worthless, you're fat. You're ugly, you'll never do anything with your life. The kid ate his nails up to his elbows. And you say, no, you have to follow the teacher, you have to listen to the teacher. The teacher is right, it's you, you're sick, you're not well, you're the one who needs to work. Well, the kid is now expelled. There's another school. But it's rotten. But it's rotten. It's really the model. They kept all the worst people in the world, they put them in this school. And the class where the child should be admitted according to his age. Well, it's run by a teacher. And this teacher is a genius of pedagogy. He's the only good one in the whole school. The whole school is rotten. But so you, with a heavy heart, you put your kid there. So the teacher takes your kid, teaches him the love of school, teaches him the love of life. To this day, he's 45 years old, he says, "This guy saved my life." Yeah. So in the end, well, God, he was expelled from school, your son, because you never would have put him in that school. The only way is for him to be expelled. Are you following me or not? But for him to be expelled, he had to fall on a crazy teacher. So it was a very good school, but the teacher is crazy. You put him in a rotten school. But the teacher is magnificent. Who can organize that if not God? Unfortunately, you can only see the good when you take the totality of the situation like the Megillah, the events, the events, the events, the events, and at the end, the salvation. But in life, it's the same. Life is a Megillah. If you think about it, if you see the chain of events, you say, "I'm smart in business, I'm smart." You're smart about what? You opened a company, you went to see the supplier. The guy says, "What's your name?" "Habit." "Habit?" Ah, you know, I'm Pied-Noir. My teacher's name was Abitbol. Now, nothing to do with your family. The guy says, "Well, you know what? The first line of credit, I'll give it to you, I'll let you have it. Go ahead, get started, it will bring you good luck." But tell me, how did God send a teacher named Abitbol? Yeah. Or rather, who had a student named Abitbol. And your grandfather's name is Abit, your father's name is Abitbol. You're called Abitbol. And the supplier, because you said the word "bit," gave you the merchandise without any letter of credit, without any fees. All of life is like that. Yeah. How did you find the place? Well, you walk down the street, the guy puts up the sign, you say, "Ah, it's for me." 5 minutes later, another guy would have taken it. All your life, the girl is there, she's nice, she's cute, she's beautiful, and you like her, which is a miracle. What do you do? You play hard to get? Ah, I'm not going to marry the first one. I haven't lived yet, I haven't enjoyed myself yet. Well, thank God, you didn't marry her. Well, you saw all the losers in Paris. Now, you married a loser. What do we say? That's why you sacrificed the others. And the other one, you see her married, thank God, radiant, a light in her family, in her community. You say, I think I made a mistake. Excuse me. No, all of life is like that. Life is outstretched hands that you have to grab. Life is opportunities. Now, sometimes the opportunity is, you meet a rabbi who will help you, and sometimes you meet a rabbi who puts obstacles in your way, and you can grow. Sometimes you meet a mentor who will train you, and sometimes you'll have the arrogance to say, I need no one. All of life is like that. Now, once, you can only benefit, optimize, and develop because reality was difficult, but the projection is magnificent. So if that's the difference between Yaakov who was able to see that, well, on the contrary, Rabbi Akiva who saw the long term. Yeah. So the other one saw the child's potential, the other one saw the store's potential, the other one saw the product's potential. Yeah. And the other one looked at reality and said, well, it's a phone. He said, no, we're going to make something that gives scholarships, that gives temperature, you know. They said, what's this Steve's name who did a good job. He said, "But how did you make the iPhone?" Yeah. He said, "Every day, I looked at it as if I had never seen it. Okay?" So every day he had a new idea. When you have 4,000 people working for you, it can go very fast. Or you say, "Well, it's a phone, it's a refrigerator." It's a refrigerator. In truth, it's written in the Torah, you must look at them every day as if it were the first time. You've already done this study, you've already done it, you read it, you've already read the portion last year, you reread it and you find questions and you find connections and you find teachings, you say, but it's crazy, yet it's the same as last year. Yes, but you have changed, you have a new perspective. A woman is the same, a husband is the same. He came to me, he said, "Ah, but honestly, well, let's be objective. When he starts like that, I know it's going to end badly." He said, "Well, listen, there's a phenomenon. Well, she's aged, she's gained weight. Well, the stock market crash isn't just a financial phenomenon. Everything is going down. Uh, and then there's routine. Okay? And we don't have the same appetites. And we have... So, should we force ourselves? Should we die? Should we let the butterflies fade? If passion has left us, should we force things? Should we wait for the marriage or the death of the children? Finally, what should we do? I say you have two solutions. A woman, she gave you her youth, she gave you her life, she gave you her beauty, she gave you children, she did your laundry, she kept your house, she put up with your mother. It was a phenomenon. You have two solutions. Either you look at her like the first day, or you look at her like the last day. He says, "But that means nothing." [Laughter] Ouf, he tires me when he thinks the brain is an outgrowth of the stomach. You know, I'm 64 years old, I've been thinking since I was 12. Do you think I'm going to say something stupid at my age? You, think about it. So what do I tell him? Imagine, if you will, you're at the oncologist, the gynecologist, and the doctor says, "Listen, we got the biopsy results, madam, you can go out." He says to the husband, "Well, listen, she has 24 hours left. 24 hours. The metastases are everywhere, it's over." So you hear that, what are you going to do? Who says, "Well, I'm signing up for Tinder. Bitch, okay." No, you say, "Well, I don't know, I'm going to make her happy, I'm going to make her enjoy herself, I'm going to take her to New York, I'm going to rent a private jet, we're going to go to Bali, I don't know, we're going to go to the Maldives, we're going to run on a beach, we're going to... It's the last day." It's the last day. That's it. So, you can look at her as if it's the last day. He says, "But wait, but that's a bit morbid, your example." I say, "If you look at her as the first day." You say, "But we can't look at her every day as the first day." It's all in the head. Like a baby. It's your baby, it's your son. Yes, but he disappointed me, but he made mistakes, but he didn't choose the girl I wanted, but he didn't... he didn't do the studies I wanted. It's your baby. It's your baby. But you say, "But I'm honestly disappointed." Is it a product? Is it a service? Is it... is it a person, what is it? It's a baby, it's your son. What am I telling you? It's your son. Once, an old gentleman like that, he made me feel sorry for him. He came like that, all wrinkled, full of arthritis, his hands deformed. He said, "Rabbi, do I have the right to kill my son?" Well, I say, "A priori, it's a mitzvah." I say, "Why do you say that?" Mr. Benchetrit, I arrived in Tunis in '54. All my life, I was a gas station attendant. I earned cent by cent. Always under the table. It was winter, summer, rain. Look at my fingers, all the arthritis, the gasoline, cent by cent. I saved, I earned, I managed to save €72,000. My entire retirement is there. I won't be able to work soon. I'm going to leave. This is what's left. My 21-year-old son took it all. He played poker, he lost it all in one night. Do I have the right to kill him? This is a true story. I said, "But in the absolute sense, yes, he ruined your life." He said, "But I can't, I'm asking the question, but he's my son, what am I going to do? He's my son?" Are you following me or not? Well, all of life is like that. Well, it's my husband, it's my wife, it's my parents. So I see people arguing. Yeah, my father. Yeah, me, the nerds, the stuff, the selfishness, anyway, he did it for me. Our parents, at worst, were clumsy. Yeah, but they're still parents. So say thank you. Ah, I can't say thank you. So, I tell you. I see people, they tell me, "Yes, but my mother is sick, I'm the only one who can take care of her. All the other brothers and sisters are busy." I say, but God gave you an opportunity to give back a little of the good you received. Say thank you instead of complaining, grumbling. Yes, there's one, not long ago, I've told this story several times, it's from Foucauld. A guy tells me, "My mother has Alzheimer's, she doesn't recognize me. So, do I have a mitzvah to visit her? Since anyway, when I arrive, she calls me Félix when my name is Marlot. So, do I still have a mitzvah of respecting parents since she doesn't recognize me?" It's a question. No. Yes. No, I don't even understand your question. I don't even know which orifice you used to make the sound that calls itself speech. But why are you telling me this? I said, "But you, young man, squared." When you were a baby, you peed on yourself, you pooped on yourself, you cried all day, you had reflux. Yeah. Your mother and father could have said, "Well, we messed this one up, [laughter] let's find a bag for him. As long as we haven't been to the town hall, he's not born, he's not born, he's not dead like a fish. He's not born. Well, they said, 'No, it's okay, we'll keep him. But he has 12 brothers and sisters, we'll take care of him.'" But the truth is, when you were a baby, you were Alzheimer's. Now, your mother is Alzheimer's. Okay, it's true. But you go, you hold her hand, you spend time with her, you give her compote by the spoonful, you know she loves compote, and you spend the afternoon, you say, "But I'm wasting my time." We'll all have time soon. These are places reserved for tired people. It says here, rest, here rests. Here you will rest, Bocon. It's the same here. You have a wife, she gave you six children, that's it. Stop grumbling. Yeah, but her character isn't easy, her... and your mouth, you, the wife. She works from morning till night for your comfort, for your well-being, to bring the Torah into the house. Don't grumble. They say, "Yes, but it's not easy. I wish I had this. I wish I had that." Wait until she dies. You'll see how you'll see her as a righteous person because after death, everyone is holy. Yeah. [Laughter] So don't wait to lose the person to understand their value. Be a little smart or mature. Yeah, well, in life, it's the same. People wait for the children to leave the house. They say, "Ah, I should have talked to him, I should have told him, I should have told him." But he's here, he's here, he's in front of you, you take him in your arms, you tell him you love him, you spend time with him, you peel potatoes, you take him for a walk, you have fun, you study a Mishna, but he's here, enjoy it, he's here, do your job as a father, as a mother, parents, grandparents, everyone. You have a rabbi, well, you have an extraordinary rabbi. Every minute you can spend with him is billions. I say, "Yes, you understand, we're all busy, we're all busy." But where will you find? You had living heaven in front of you. So, we will also dedicate the souls of Rabbi Shimon ben benahou and Tuesday, it was, well, it was my first rabbi of Gemara, a very great rabbi, Diamond, you knew him, no? It's thanks to him that you ate kosher for years, meat from a butcher. In any case, we've understood now that it's very, very important and that it's not something that happens just because you listened to the lecture or because you understood the lecture, that you've integrated the lecture. Yeah. Now, it will take about 6 or 7 years of work to integrate. You know, with my wife, we worked on the notion of "yes, without the but." You know, everyone says "yes, but, yes, but, yes." 8 years, that's a lot. 8 years. Me, a quarter of an hour, a priest, I'll convert him. I take 14 seconds to prepare a lecture that will give you a headache for 4 days, and we took 8 years. That means that understanding takes seconds, but becoming takes years. So if you're a little smart, yeah, it's good. You came to the course, when you're honored, I'm proud of you. But you have to work, there are no miracles. I've never understood that. Why do people, the less religious they are, the more they believe in miracles? Midot, you have to work on them. The couple, you have to work on it. Children, you have to educate them. Business, to make kosher, you have to rack your brain. To make a price, it's easy. It's easy. There will always be people to open. Here, there are clients, they've opened so much that they've literally put a zipper on them. They've opened them for rolling shutters, they've opened them for air conditioning, they've opened them for insulation. In fact, they don't stop opening them. So what I wish for my dear ones is that each of you takes it upon yourself, as a couple, as a parent, as a child, as a good Jew, to make an effort, because prayer, trying to make an effort, is already an effort, and effort makes you strong. Do you want to, no? Whereas if you say, "Well, listen, the evening was nice, it was funny, well, not very classic, but it was good," but you don't understand that in truth, these are the starting blocks, these are the sneakers. You bought the sneakers, you're not a track and field champion yet, but you have the sneakers. The guys who think they've bought the sneakers. That's it, it's good. It's Nike, right? That's why I encourage you to work. That's why we bring these tools. I know you know them, you have them, but I'm very shocked when I go to people's houses and I see my books and they're brand new. I remind you that these are not midot, you have to read them. Now, I have psychologists, psychoanalysts, Jews, gentiles, great scholars who have written three or four binders of commentary on the book. Yeah. There's one, he's a student of Rav Yitzchak Ginsburgh. Well, if you knew him, he's a great Kabbalist who lived in Bnei Brak, and one of his students, who spent 30 years glued to the Zohar, told me, "But if you put your book in Ponyovitch, you see, it will be a revolution." But again, it's a work book. So if one day you decide to work on it, if you already have it, or if you don't have it, buy it tonight, but then you have to read page by page, line by line, okay? And and really, that's why at the end of each chapter, you have little exercises. But given that I realized that the course, the book was too dense, because unfortunately my courses are very, very dense. Besides, if you have the opportunity to re-take the course in two or three days and take notes, even write word for word, obviously avoiding the jokes, although the jokes are part of the teaching, you will realize the mass of information. I have gentile psychologists who tell me, "With one sentence, I can write a book." Well, that's the difference between confession and culture. Yeah. So that's why there's a Mrs. Adida, she made this practical workbook. Okay? And this workbook, in truth, what did she do? She did what's called sequencing. I don't know how to do that. I've spoken with therapists, with coaches, with... I said, "Listen, teach me, because I, I give the cliff, but I don't know how to give the stairs." For me, it's obvious. Well, I tell people, just work on it. Take notes, do self-analysis, learn to know yourself. Well, what did she do? She did it. That is to say, you read a chapter in the book. She didn't do it for the whole book, she did it for important things. YZ, there are drawings, there are diagrams. We did it for idiots. So, a priori, calm down. So it's valid for everyone. Yeah. And you see, there are spaces. That means that when you have the chapter, you take the book and you work on it. So in fact, it accompanies you, because it asks a question, you have to answer the question. Now, when you answer question 1, well, you check that you've understood what's written, and that allows you to integrate what you've learned. That's called becoming, in French. Yeah. Now, it's very interesting because I have therapists who use it. He tells me, "Listen, does it bother you if we do group workshops based on the book?" It's interesting because they charge €80 per person for 100 people. You understand that I'm still waiting for the royalties, but everything is written. So, for those who are interested, the book is here. And the third, if you don't all have the opportunity to study 17 years of yeshiva and kollel, and there are very deep notions, but this is more in the spiritual, this is more about self-work, more in the spirituality, okay, on, for example, the different divine names. The difference between Yud-Hey-Vav-Elokim, El and Keher, these are divine names. And also the notion of time, which is a very abstract notion. It's the course that took me the most time. I took 2 years to do it. It's something, it's very, very abstract, time. I'll do it for you on occasion, but it's a very difficult course. But this will take 3 hours. And on the notion of providence, on the notion of measure for measure, again, you'll say, "Well, but frankly, I don't have the head for it, and besides, I have a lot of catching up to do on Netflix, I understand." So, you need to know something very important, and then I'll leave you alone. It's that they say that the degree of perception we will have of God after death depends on the level of perception we have of Him during our lifetime. I don't know if you understand. It means that if here you haven't understood anything, but you went to synagogue, you did the mitzvot, you did Shabbat, but in truth, you didn't really study, and even when you studied, you didn't study in depth. You just turned the pages to rest your eyes, because it's written "ver," you'll arrive up there, you'll be lost. Because I remind you, for those who don't know, that an angel is 4,000 km by 4,000 km. So when it arrives, you'll say, "Where?" No, that's not God, it's just an angel. So to perceive divinity even a little, you have to work on it well now. So what I advise is to work on this one during the week because you have to write, and this one during Shabbat, and in 10 years, we'll talk again. Okay? There they are, they are available. There's a person who will sell them, it costs 100 shekels. Don't start negotiating. But you can buy them online for €32 each. So if you're from the community, you'll feel the difference. And this one, well, the three of them, we never send them. This one is impossible to find in Israel. So I advise you, otherwise, you'll find a friend in France who can buy it for you. Okay. And also, of course, for those who want, I can write a blessing inside the book because it's very fashionable. People want blessings instead of advice. But what can I tell you? Advice. Okay. Don't applaud, it's not a show. Save that for Gade, he really needs it.