Transcription
Adam. Adam. Adam, mother. Your uncle told me you are still upset. But why, mother, didn't we talk about this? Didn't I tell you, mother, that I had to do this? Tomorrow, mother, when you grow up, and one day you get married and have children, and you love them as much as I love you, you will realize that I had to do this. So, tell me, what time do they arrive at school? At most, [time]. Mashallah! In just a few days, your voice has grown and changed? Please, Yusuf, when you arrive, tell me and tell me if Adam liked the place. I want to know, please. The boy is coming from Gaza, so this will be Disneyland. Mother, your uncle told me your school is near the sea. So, you have the sea like here, you go, you enjoy yourself, and you change the atmosphere. Mother, I appreciate how upset you are. Honestly, I am more upset than you. Because we are not together, meaning I am here and you are with your uncle. But believe me, mother, I strengthened my heart and sent you out of Gaza because you are a man, a good person, and capable of responsibility. Tomorrow, mother, I want you to make me proud. Does Egypt, mother, not hear my voice? And you are determined not to talk to me? I want Mama! I want, by God, I want! I can't hear you, my love, hello? Mama? Mama? The signal, the signal! Mama, Mama! The signal! What happened to Mama? The signal, the signal, it's cut off! Mama, Mama! Mama, answer me, listen to me! You are the reason, you are the reason, by God, you are the reason! Your face!
Life gives us temporary companions that are tied to temporary circumstances: classmates as long as you're in that school, colleagues as long as you're in that job, or even when you're passing through, the fellow passenger on a plane, until you arrive at your destination. Every companion we lean on is as temporary as the circumstance that introduced us. People come and go, while all along we seek reliable company. Even Adam, peace be upon him, in Paradise wanted a companion, and Paradise is full of them if we get there. But in this world, as Gabriel, peace be upon him, once told the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him: "Love whom you will, for you will be separated." As Ibn Taymiyyah, may Allah have mercy on him, said, "Even your shadow leaves you in the dark, but the one who created that shadow remains." And in the Traveler's Supplication, we say as we start our journey, "Oh Allah, You are my companion in travel and the guardian over my family." Some of the scholars extended that supplication to life itself: "Oh Allah, You are my companion on this journey of life as a whole." And the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, "Be in this world as if you're a stranger or a wayfarer." Don't get too comfortable here, and don't depend too much on anyone else's companionship. Your only consistent companion is the one who created every single step of your journey. And you can instantly summon Him at any moment by just thinking of Him and remembering Him. In a Sacred Hadith, He says, "I sit with the one who remembers Me." If you remember Him casually, He's there. If you remember Him constantly, He's there without interruption. So you can remember Him like a friend every once in a while, or constantly like a best friend.
But what do we even mean when we refer to people as our best friends? That depends on us as individuals, what we seek from people based upon our own needs and vulnerabilities. So some people value companionship more because they hate loneliness. Others value protection or loyalty because they fear betrayal most. And for some, it's who you can immediately turn to for help in need, because the thought of no one by your side when you fight your hardest battles is terrifying. And as Al-Imam Al-Ghazali, may Allah have mercy on him, said, "Only Allah combines all of these elements of friendship in one." And for most people, the first thing they seek in a best friend is stability. Meaning they're always there and they're always themselves. So I can count on you to be reliably kind or reliably helpful, because what good is your good quality if it's inconsistent? And so one of the names of Allah is Al-Barr, the constant source of all good. "Indeed, He is the Benevolent, the Merciful." Al-birr, from the same root word, refers to the widest array of good deeds in Islam. So like when Allah, exalted is He, says, "But it is righteousness to believe in Allah and the Last Day and the angels and the Scripture and the prophets and to give wealth, in spite of love for it, to relatives, orphans, the needy, the traveler, those who ask, and for freeing slaves..." until the end of this incredible verse. But the point is, birr includes every single good deed from the smallest kindness to the biggest favors. And that's why you're supposed to show birr to your parents, honoring your parents, and not even say "uff" to them. So Allah, exalted is He, He shows you the full array of kindness as Al-Barr. And another root of the name Barr is land, which is the opposite of Bahr, the sea. Think of the imagery of the stable land versus the tossing sea. You drown if you depend on others, but you only find firmness in Al-Barr. So when someone says that so-and-so is like my rock, that means they're your safest and most loyal companion. Al-Barr is the most stable friend that you will ever have.
And then beyond that, you don't just have His constancy, you have His protection. So you have Al-Wali, the protective friend. Now Allah, in the general sense, is the Wali of all of the believers. "Allah is the protector of those who believe." But pay attention to the sequence in the Quran. The verse before this, Allah, exalted is He, says, "So whoever disbelieves in Taghut and believes in Allah has grasped the most trustworthy handhold that will never break." Allah, exalted is He, says, whoever rejects false gods and believes in Allah has grasped the most trustworthy handhold, the one that never snaps. It's as if Allah is saying that just like you have to shut all the doors of the devil and focus on walking towards His door, you have to loosen your grip on what and who cannot hold you. The only one who can hold you is the one who sent you that trustworthy handhold from the heavens, the most trustworthy handhold, and it never snaps. See, people will always disappoint you, sometimes even those closest to you. And this can make you bitter and distrustful and cynical. So this helps you to stop being clingy to others or hurt by rejection, because while the creation can get annoyed by your attachment, He loves when you cling to Him. And then how does He honor that? "Whoever takes that friend of Mine as an enemy, I have declared war on him." The protective friend will fight for you. But this type of Wali is different. This is the special Wali about whom Allah says, "I become the hearing with which he hears, the sight by which he sees, the hand with which he grasps, the foot by which he walks." You see that closeness? The root of the word Wali is Al-Waliyah, and it refers to the saddle on the horse's back because it's attached. Meaning there's no distance between it and the horse. And the one on top of it is meant to guide the horse aright. Al-Wali means He guides you and He guards you at the same time. And He looks out for your needs even when they conflict with your wants, which is what a responsible Wali is supposed to do. And when you earn and embrace that, your affairs are made easy. And that's why when Joseph, peace be upon him, was dying, he said to Allah, "You are my Wali in this life and the next." As much as Jacob, peace be upon him, his human Wali loved him, he was taken from him. And we all separate, at least temporarily, at death. Think about how the faces were always changing around Joseph, peace be upon him. You have a loving father, then you have jealous brothers, then you have curious travelers that take him out from the well and sell him into slavery. Then you have the house of a master with a lustful wife, and then you have all of her friends, and then you're in a prison cell and you have all these other prisoners. And then you're on the throne and you have all these subjects. The only companion who was consistent with Joseph, peace be upon him, throughout his entire journey was Al-Wali. And He was guiding and protecting him all along. But that type of relationship doesn't come through public posturing. It comes through deep private devotion. And that's why Imam Hasan Al-Basri, may Allah have mercy on him, says, "Don't be a Wali of Allah in public and then be His enemy in secret. Spend time with Him in the middle of the night when no one else is there to witness it. And in your Witr prayer, you call out to Al-Witr and you say, 'And take me into Your loving care amongst those who You have done so with.'" But how can I be His close friend when there are so many more fitting people out there? Wali status is special, but it's not exclusive. It's an individual friendship that works with millions of people at a time. And only Allah, exalted is He, can do that.
Now there is one higher layer that only two human beings are known to have ever been granted. And it's called Khullah, the rank of the Khalil. And this is a rank reserved for prophets. "And Allah took Ibrahim as a Khalil." The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, also was taken as a Khalil by Allah. And because of that, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, "I can't take Abu Bakr as a Khalil." So while the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, could only have one Khalil, Allah can have more than one Khalil. And even in that is a lesson. That Allah's friendship capacity isn't like anybody else's. And Allah's closeness to them doesn't crowd out His closeness to us. And while we can't be Khalils of Allah in that prophetic sense, we can walk in the footsteps of their friendship. And as the scholars say, "The door of Wilayah is the nearest to the threshold of Khullah." So Allah is your Sahib, your companion, not just for the journey, but always. He is Al-Barr, your stable friend. He is Al-Wali, your protective friend. And then finally, He is Ar-Rafiq, the gentle friend. Al-Wali is about letting Allah take hold of all of your affairs. Ar-Rafiq is primarily how He takes care of them, similar to Ar-Ra'uf, with a tenderness that matches His perfection. The name Ar-Rafiq shows up in the Seerah with two incidents that both involve our mother Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her. One day, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, is walking and a group from the People of the Book say to the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, "Assalamu alaykum." You know, sometimes we sound like that when we say Salam. But Assalamu alaykum means, "May death be upon you." And they were trying to be cute, right? They'd fit in that meaning. And the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, would simply say, "Wa alaykum," and upon you. So if they met Salam, and upon you. And if they met death, and upon you. But Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, she was there and she said, "Rather, may death and the curse of Allah be upon you instead." And the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said to Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, "Take it easy, ya Aisha. Allah is gentle and He loves gentleness." Remember, it's about the how here. And one connection between Al-Rafiq and Rifq is how you want your companion to treat you. Rifq doesn't mean a lack of firmness. It means mercy in how firmness lands. So Al-Rafiq is the companion whose gentleness gets you through hard times, even if with hard advice that you need. He doesn't always remove the mountain, but He always softens the path for you by His righteousness. And Al-Rafiq, because of who they are, is someone you always want to be around. And that's why Rabi'ah ibn Ka'b Al-Aslami, may Allah be pleased with him, asked for his one dua to be the Rafiq of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, in Paradise. And just as the last words of Joseph, peace be upon him, included, "You are my Wali in this life and the next," the last words of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, on this earth, as he was in the lap of Aisha, were, "O Allah, the highest companion." He says this from the beautiful, loving embrace of Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, from her lap, sharing a siwak with her. But Al-Rafiq Al-A'la is the greatest companion. I'd still rather be with Him. Take my soul with gentleness and bring it into Your glorious presence. Your embrace, that even the loving embrace of a spouse or parent cannot compare to. "O Allah, the highest companion."
And this friendship continues past the funeral. When everyone else's shadow departs again, we ask Allah, "O Allah, ease our loneliness in the grave." So Allah sends deeds to keep you company and angels to reassure you and even relatives to reunite with at some point. But your ultimate hope is to be escorted by all of them to your meeting once again with your loving best friend. "Truly the friends of Allah, there is no fear upon them, nor will they grieve on the day of judgment when friends are nowhere to be found, when crowds are scattering and mothers are fleeing from their children." Imagine being escorted into the shade of the throne of Allah while everyone's just trying to catch their breath. And all of the categories the Prophet, peace be upon him, mentioned that are shaded by the throne of Allah are considered categories of Wilayah. But until then, and especially then, direct your eyes and heart above and say, "O Allah, the highest companion. O Allah, the highest companion." O Wali, be my closest friend when the world drifts away. Guard me with the grip that never slips. Guide me gently through what I don't understand and let every loss lead me back to You. O Barr, keep me firm on the ground of Your goodness. Make my faith steady when my heart trembles. Let me love what brings me to Your stability and make me patient with what keeps me on its shore. O Rafiq, be tender with my soul as You unfold Your plan. Soften the path without removing its purpose. Make me gentle with others as You've been gentle with me. And when I am lonely, fill that space with Your company. "And to Allah belong the best names, so invoke Him by them."