Transcription
You've had enough, and you've left. Good on you. Good. You should have done that then. The narcissist realizes that you're not going to come back. What do they do? What happens to them? What are they thinking? What are they going to do next? I'm going to talk about this in the video.
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Hello everyone, and welcome back. I hope that you're all doing really well. So, in today's video, we're going to be talking about what happens when the narcissist realizes that you are never coming back, and you have realized, and you have got your own power back, and you see through the lies. They're not going to like this. Let me tell you that for free. They are not going to like this. So, let's talk about this. Let's talk about when they realize this.
So, for a narcissist, what is most important is having control over a person, first and foremost, and a situation. So, the fact that you have now taken control, and you have full control over the situation, they're not going to like this. This is going to be very, very challenging for them because this means that you know the next thing that's going to happen, you know what is going to happen, you know what the outcome is going to be. Now, this makes a narcissist very nervous. Oh yes, my friends, very, very nervous because they thrive on this, right? They need to have control. They thrive on this, and the fact that you have taken that control, they are on unstable grounds at the moment. Oh yes, they're on unstable grounds. So, this makes them anxious. This makes them very anxious.
You have realized that this person is toxic. You have realized that this person is out there just for themselves. And so, what's happened is you have left. You have gone. Or it could be that they have left, and then after that, you have realized that actually, they are not who they say they are, and they don't have your best interest at heart. I know that this probably would have been a really painful realization, but nevertheless, it's a realization in itself. So, you have taken the control, you've left, and or they have left, and you have realized, right? That's it. I've gone no contact because that's what it is, my friends, is going no contact. It's removing all attention and focus on them. They can't stand this. They don't like this because they don't have that emotional information on where you are, what you're doing. This drives them crazy for a lot of them, all right? For a lot of them.
At the beginning, when this happens, they are going to be so invested in trying to understand, trying to know why you are not giving them any emotional validation. And so, they are going to try and find out why. They might stalk you, they might watch you, they might use other people to get in contact with you to find out exactly where it is that you are. But what happens is, is when they are met with blocks, when they are met with the fact that you don't care, or you're not responding to any of their communication, they're not going to like this. This is going to be very difficult for them. And what happens is, they will lose interest very quickly. So, they will then move on to the next person because it's a little bit easier for them. And you know as well as I do that the narcissists will prefer something that is easy, that they don't have to work so hard, they don't have to perhaps maybe give an explanation, invest time and energy and money into. And it's not like they're short of attention, is it really? They've got other people. So, they will be able to contact. They've made sure of this. So, that's what they'll be doing. They'll be contacting those people. They'll leave you on ice. They'll leave you for a little bit and maybe try again a little bit later. But you see, either way, you have removed attention and focus from them, which is why they don't like this. This cannot happen. It means that they've lost you as a potential person. They need, need to have these people strategically placed so that they can call upon them. Okay? In their minds, they're thinking, because you have loved me, because you have given me attention previously, in the past, you're going to do it again, and you're going to want me again because I know how to play you. I know what to do. I know what makes you tick. So, they're thinking, okay, I'm going to, I'm going to be able to contact on this person in the future.
The narcissist doesn't like losing these types of people because it means that they have to gain more. They have to get more of them. If they keep losing, and this is very, very difficult for them because they have to invest time, money, energy, and they have to try and reel this person in. This, okay, this isn't the preferred type of supply that the narcissist likes. They like people who have, they who they've had before, their exes, because they don't have to work so hard. It's very easy, you know, to just call someone up or message someone and, you know, get them back in. Trying to get new people in is a little bit more challenging. Nevertheless, yes, they will invest. They will do this, but they like exes. This is why they have so many. This is why they stay in touch with so many of them.
So, it's all about the control. It's all about the people that they can have. Remember, this is about how they objectify people. So, it means that they see these people or exes or potential supply as their belongings. They see them as theirs. That these people belong to them. That they own them. That's how they see it because that is called objectification in psychology. When you objectify something, you see something as your own property, which means that you can control, you can do whatever it is that you want to that thing because it's an object. There's the problem. The objectification. We, as human beings, we're not objects. We're not meant to be owned and told what to do and controlled and manipulated. That's not what we do to one another. We can't control another person and alter their reality, how they think, how they behave. Give them small amounts of information, only the information that you want them to know. That's what they do. That's how they think that they can behave and be in these scenarios. This is what was done to them as children. This is what they have gone through. So, this is the attachment style that they know. That's why they then repeat it with you. They love bomb you. They mirror you at the beginning because they want you to fall in love with them. They want to get you on side. It's just what they had to do with their own parents. They had to make their parents fall in love with them. So, it means that they had to change who they are so that they can become someone that, that their parents wanted them to be. This hasn't changed. This is what they do now.
So, the fact that they realize that you're not coming back really is quite scary for them, if you really think about it. They don't like this. They want you, but they want you not in that way that you think that they want you. They want you because they want validation from you. They want something from you. It's a transactional dynamic here. You've got to provide the narcissist with something. They don't need to provide you with anything. You've got to give. They've got to take. That's how they see this. That's how they see this interaction. And it's very damaging. It's very different to the way that we see relationships. So, that is their realization that they have lost something that they can control.
Controlling and using manipulation for the narcissist, okay, they don't see this as bad. They don't see this as something that is damaging for someone else. They see it as quite normal. They see it as something that they need to do, something that they must occupy their time with. It is an inborn need that they have. And this is where the deficiencies or the dysfunctions of this interpersonal relationship that you have with them comes out. Even though this is, you know, you've left, you've gone, or they have left and they have gone, it doesn't mean that it's the end there. This dynamic will continue because it's when they say it's over, in their mind, it is over. But really, the power rests within you. When you decide it's over, that is when it's over because they'll keep coming back. They'll want to feel that they're in control of this situation, like they can pick you up and put you down whenever they want. So, the fact that you have put a halt to this and said, no, I'm done, no more, they don't like this because in their mind, they see it that they have lost the game. They have lost this. And yes, my friends, it's a game. It's a game that they play because they know when they enter into this relationship, that it's not going to last forever. Like, they know this. They, on some level, understand that there is only a certain amount of time that you will take this, that you will endure this treatment from them. Believe me, they've been doing this for many years, and you're not the first person that they have done this to. So, they know that it's going to end at some point, and you are going to leave. Yes, this is what happens.
And so, when you leave, when you say that's it, I'm done, that is when it's really difficult for them. They might try and reach out to you. They might try and get you back. Some don't. Depends on the actual person, depends on the narcissist, and what they find that they have, what they find important to them. They might reach out, they might not. But don't take it as it's that you weren't good enough. It's not about that. It's about how easier supply you are, how easy they think it will be to get you back, to get supply from you. That's really what it's about. It's about ease of the situation. For some of you, they might not even try. They might not even want to do that because they see you as too powerful. You're too switched on. They, they do understand that actually, you have now realized who they are, what they're doing, and that there's no point. It's not going to be easy to try and get you back. It means that they're going to have to offer you explanations. They're going to have to offer you something, and they don't want to do that. They don't want you to know. They're not going to give you validation so that you can understand what has happened with them. Why? Why not? You ask? Because they don't have the bandwidth. They're not going to give you the explanation. They're not going to give you the truth. So, that's why they're not even going to try. They wouldn't want to explain themselves. That's not what this is about. This is about ease of getting supply, ease of getting validation. So, really, my friends, it's not that you're not good enough. It's the fact that you are too good enough, and it's going to, it's going to cost them too much.
So, you see, when they realize that they can't have you back or they can't control you, this is quite difficult for them because, like I said, they don't want to lose people. They want to gain people. The more the people that they've got, they see themselves as more abundant because they can hop from one person to the next to the next. This is part of that attachment disorder where they don't connect to you on a deeper level. They don't connect to themselves on a deeper level. So, that's why they can't give you what it is that you want, a deep and meaningful relationship. So, the fact that they realize that you're not coming back, it's not because they realize the error of their ways and they want to make amends. It's about whether they can get you back so that you can give them supply. That's what this is really about.
So, guys, I really hope that this video helps you to understand this in a completely different way. If you are someone who is going through this right now, please know that I do offer one-to-one consultations. And if you are interested, please see the description box below. I've also started a wonderful mentorship, which a lot of people have said that they have found value in. If you're interested into knowing more or wanting to join, please see the description box below. I also have a journal club where I post journal prompts every Monday. If you're interested in to and start journaling with me, please see the description box below. Guys, thank you so much for watching, and I will see you in the next video. Goodbye.