Transcription
A lot of people have been writing to me complaining that it's too time consuming learning to write a novel. They don't have time to write, to watch all these videos. "Can't you give us just one video with everything in it?" they say. Well, all right. Here, in less 9 minutes and 32 seconds, is everything you need to know to write your first novel.
In order to perform this marvelous trick, we're going to take the bus to St. Giles to get a drop of inspiration from this place, the Eagle and Child Pub. It's closed at the moment, but this was the place where, shortly after the Second World War, Tolkien and C.S. Lewis would come and drink. And it is from Tolkien that we're going to learn the greatest novel writing shortcut that you have probably never heard of. No other writing coach will tell you this. It's called the plot coupon.
So, welcome to another installment in my series on how to write your novel using that most unlikely of writing implements, around Oxford bus ticket. But first, we need a definition of a story. Well, here's a crude definition: A person discovers that she needs something. She sets off on a quest to get it, and then comes home changed, having spiritually grown. Now, the object of the quest can be anything. It can be the Holy Grail, the Elixir, the stolen jewels, the Maltese Falcon, the meaning of the phrase "The 39 Steps." It doesn't matter.
Now, we divide the story into three parts, three acts. The first act: the heroine discovers that she needs something. In a second: she sets off on a quest to get it and encounters numerous difficulties. And in the third: she comes back changed. In Hollywood, they call it beginning, muddle, and end.
So, let's start with our character. This is Gwia. She lives in the fairy tale wood. And to kick the story off, we give her a call to adventure. Her little sister is sick, and it looks like she might die. Oh dear.
Now, Gwia meets a talking bear called Clink Andor. Now, Clink Andor is the story archetype of the mentor, a bit like Gandalf or Merlin. And Clink Andor tells Gwia that in order to save her sister's life, she has to travel to Act Two to find the Elixir and bring it back. He gives her a Talisman, a special device that turns a clock back 24 hours, and he tells her to use it wisely because it can only be used once. In addition, he gives her a prophecy, and then he puts her on the train to Act Two.
Now, Act Two is the story world. Here she will encounter numerous obstacles, and in striving to overcome them, will be burnished in the crucible of adversity, and in the process, the wound on her soul will be healed. What wound? Ah, every hero needs a psychological flaw to fix. And this is Gwia. She once had a dream about being a great movie director, but there are no such things as movies in the Enchanted Wood. So when she told the other children about this, they all laughed, and she was filled with doubt, and her dream of being a director was crushed.
So we cross the threshold into the second act. Her train arrives at St. Pancras Station. Waiting on the platform is a man, a nutty professor, straight from Central Casting. He spends his life making inventions, and he's expecting his niece to arrive. And being a bit absent-minded, he takes Gwia home with him by mistake. He needs a maiden of spotless character to pilot his new invention, the Dream Boat, which is powered by the imagination. You put the helmet on, and you power the boat by imagining things. But it only works for girls or boys who have never been kissed. Well, well, there's always a catch, isn't there?
So they set off for the land of Elsewhere. Piloting the craft takes a bit of getting used to, and they crash land on a nearby rooftop. And there they find Jim, the chimney sweep. They take pity on him, and he joins their company. Don't get too fond of Jim, because he's going to die.
So here we are, crossing the empty waste of Act Two, searching for the Elixir. But how on earth do you find one when all we can see is the blank white page? Well, this is a problem every writer faces, and we're going to solve it with a sneaky trick, one that no other writing coach will dare tell you about: plot coupons. Plot coupons are the items you have to collect, or the tasks you have to perform, in order to achieve your storytelling goal. Imagine, for example, there was a prophecy that says, "Collect the find the sword of Bingo, collect the Goblet of King Rupert, steal a hair from the head of the Thingy Bob Beast." Well, you collect all those things, all those vouchers, and you exchange them for an ending, for a resolution, a resolution of your storytelling goal.
This, I believe, is what Tolkien did in The Lord of the Rings. You see, he wanted two Hobbits to overcome the Dark Lord. But really, there's no way two puny little Hobbits could overcome the all-surpassingly evil, insuperable Dark Lord Sauron. So what do you do? Well, Tolkien wrote into the metaphysical fabric of the universe that if someone threw the ring belonging to the Dark Lord into a volcano, the Dark Lord dies. Well, that's much easier, isn't it? Anyone can throw a ring into a volcano, even two Hobbits.
So the prophecy that Clink Borg gave to Gwia specified that she had to collect a feather from a killer penguin's head, a flower from the land of the living dead, a sock from the foot of a mechanic called Fred. It also contained this enigmatic statement: "She will seize the Elixir and upon a moment's reflection, realize the identity of her greatest foe." We'll explain that later.
So the adventure starts. They fly to the land of Elsewhere. The Dream Boat lands so they can take on water, and they get attacked by killer penguins. They escape by the skin of their teeth, and Gwia snatches a penguin's feather. Then they encounter more difficulties, and this is the pattern. Things keep going wrong. They encounter numerous obstacles and problems, and this is what burnishes the hero's soul. And along the way, they collect the plot coupons. Rinse and repeat, until finally they approach the shores of Act Three.
This is where the hero traditionally has a spiritual crisis. So now they are attacked by terrifying Samurai rabbits, and Jim dies fighting to save Gwia. In the confusion, Gwia gets separated from the others and wanders lost and alone in the Dark Forest. An ogre finds her asleep in the snow and takes her to his castle. She is shocked by his visage at first, but he is a nice ogre, and he tells her his sad story. Here is Fred, a Dream Boat mechanic, imprisoned in the body of an ogre by a witch. The only way to reverse the spell is to kiss him, but he knows he is too horrible for a young lady to kiss. He cries, and Gwia takes pity on him and kisses him and steals one of his socks. And anon, in a flash, he turns into a Dream Boat mechanic. Ah, but then the castle turns to dust, and since they are on the first floor, they fall, and Fred is washed away in the river, and Gwia lands in the snow.
She finds her way back to the professor, who tells her that poor Jim is dead, and he gives her the headset to summon up the Dream Boat. But of course, it doesn't work, does it? Because he kissed that ogre. Well, we also introduce a ticking clock here to ramp up the tension. News arrives from Act One. Her sister has only hours left to live. Oh dear.
Time now for Gwia's spiritual collapse. She despairs. She has failed, and everything is ruined. Her sister will die. She falls into a swoon. This is her spiritual nadir, from which her old self will die, and a new one will rise, phoenix-like, from the ashes. Clink Andor arrives and gives her a reviving cordial, and he tells her to use the device that turns a clock back to revisit the ogre's castle. But Gwia insists they use it to bring Jim back to life. And Clink Borg says that is not possible. Sadly, but he observes that her unselfish act is evidence that she has achieved spiritual growth. But it doesn't solve the problem with the Dream Boat, does it?
But ah, just then, Fred, the former ogre and Dream Boat mechanic, appears. "No problem," he says. "Just remove the kiss prohibition circuit, and you're ready to fly." They fly to the castle containing the Elixir. Gwia gives the feather, the flower, and Fred's sock to the gatekeeper. So she climbs to a special room and seizes the Elixir. And there she sees a reflection of herself. Remember the prophecy: "She will seize the Elixir and upon a moment's reflection, realize the identity of her greatest foe." And she understands that it refers to her, her own doubt about being a movie director. And she sees that the only thing stopping her is herself. But not anymore. She has been well and truly burnished in the crucible of adversity. She has grown. She is full of passion and confidence now. And outside the castle, they find a gift from Alfred Hitchcock.
Well, sadly, they take Jim's body and bury it in the nearby churchyard. It's a solemn occasion. And then they fly back to Act One, and they arrive in the nick of time to save the little sister's life. And Gwia becomes a great movie director. The end.
And if you'd like to have a go at piloting your own Dream Boat, grab "Gateway to Nar," my free 10-part e-course on how to write your first novel. The link is in the description below.