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Thank you for joining us. I'm Newt Larsen, and you're with Pastor P.D.A., and we're going to talk about pastoral care. A lot of people aren't sure what that means because they're just mad at the church because nobody loves them. Pastoral care has got to come from some kind of organization in the church and somewhere from the heart of the pastor and other leaders, too. But we're going to talk to pastors: pastoral care—what do we owe our members? First, let's talk about that. What do we owe them in terms of care? Jeff, would you start? What, what, what can they expect?
They can expect me to love them, for sure. And that's going to define whatever care they need from us. And so they can expect patience and love and grace from me. In an emergency, a true emergency, they can expect me by their side if I can, if I can get there. If there's a traumatic death or injury, whatever, they can expect that. And they can expect, and should expect, attention. I always get a little passionate about the idea that we ask people to pay attention to us, so we ask them to show up to teach this Sunday school and help out on the work day. Well, when they need our attention, they're not being unreasonable. And there's always that unreasonable person, you know, but you're the type of the normal person. And so they can expect that from us. And as the church gets bigger, it may not even be me all the time, but they can expect that I would organize to make sure that those needs were met.
I would say I would greet with all that. In addition to that, on some level, I would want them to be able to look at their pastor and say—and say this in a humble way, not in worship—but, "I'm proud of my pastor." Like I want you to know that he lives a life of integrity, that he lives out his faith. I'm okay with letting you know who my pastor is. So in some way, in addition to caring for them, I want them, as a father would look to his kids, to know he wants them to do oh, and say, "Those are my children." So I, there's a part—they're living out your faith well—that they're not afraid to introduce you to somebody. So having a life of integrity. And the other thing I would say, in addition to that, is the one I would say the best thing I can do for them is to pray for them. I think that's the greatest gift that you can give your people is to pray for them. They can, we tell them they're joining a family. So I like what the way you've both said it. And if you're in a family, the family does care for you. It, it may not be—when I first started pastoring, you guys wouldn't even know this—people expected you to be in their home once a quarter, a man, and that was care. And there's still people that somebody ought to be in their home regularly that are shut in now and all of that. But how do you organize care? How does it happen on a staff that's just one person or big staffs?
Well, we would, we would organize a lot of care through our groups. And so we would look and say, your primary caregiver, quote-unquote, maybe your life group leader. And it usually depends on the type of care needed. So if there's a baby born, everything's great, and you need meals and a lawn mowed, you're going to get that kind of care. When there's a trauma, when there's a tragedy, that care is going to usually jump right up the line, and it's going to land right on the pastor's desk, and it prop—it should, for the most part. So we're going to do that. We're also going to organize it through terms of lay ministry. So we would have teams of folks that would go visit at the hospital, teams of folks that would organize meals, groups of men. We've had some tragic deaths where we have a widow and her children, groups of men that would go over and do the maintenance on her home, etc., whatever was needed, we would enact that way. And, and I believe that's huge. I also believe there's an enormous resource in many churches, and it is the older retired person, even the older retired pastor. And if you value them and you elevate that level of service, it's amazing the care that they will help you in the time to—four things.
Yeah, I, I talk to a lot of pastors when they say, "Should I hire? I can't afford to hire a care pastor. What should I do?" And I give us advice all the time. I'll say, "Look for a retired pastor who would like to maybe work a little bit for a stipend. They know what they're doing, usually, and they're, they're gifted at it, and and will do that for you." So we'll work all of that to make sure it happens. It has to be someone, whether it's a volunteer or paid staff, that's overseen. Care can't just—doesn't happen by itself. Someone has to walk away from beating—say, "I got that," instead of wandering. Absolutely. Someone has to take care of, and if you're the only pastor, it's you, baby. Yeah. And then you get people who will take a segment of it and run with it, right? And I, I can't tell you how many times I've said just that to pastors: find somebody, give away titles and responsibilities freely. Somebody would love to be a parish visitor or director of shut-ins or something. Well, they're gifted that way to get the compassion and mercy, you know, where they are. You spend time with them, send them—we do it. We get a director for the nursery, we get a youth director, we get a—it's the same—think of it, give it that level value of ministry, and you'd be surprised—people who are, who are locked into that. It was Marlene Wilson in a book on volunteers, which is a terrific book—old one now—but she said, "Give away titles and responsibilities." And I think sometimes churches disfavor the very people who gave the money and the time to start this church, and now they take it and take it only for youth. And you guys have all kinds of young, but you still care for the older people. And we need Mark, please care for me.
Yeah, yeah, it takes care—it also nice care for him—with give them ways to serve. Yep, provide way sir. And I tried to even elevate them. I can think of a man now—any men that run through our midst discipleship journey—constant elevating the 70 and 80-year-old men, saying, "Guys, look what they're doing," honoring them, honoring them, honoring them. I read a something a long time ago that our staff got on me once in Akron, and I want to clarify in case they're watching—perceive pastoral care—it said, and it doesn't mean fake pastoral care, but it means when you're talking to someone in the hall or with a child before the church service—somebody else's child—you're listening and you're showing—perceive pastoral care means you show you care about individuals. You guys both do that, and it sets us—it sets a tone for the church. I think so much of that, and I work—I try to do this—is simply stopping. You have been locking into someone, pray for them right then. You don't, you don't have to have an hour-long meeting, pray for right then, hear them right then, try to remember what they said, drop a note, drop an email—that's all I need, you know? And it's, it's almost—people are actually asking. You know, another snippet I would add to that is ask them their name, repeat their name before they leave, and say their name when you say goodbye. I really work hard at remembering names. When you remember a name, people feel valued. We know this is hard, and as a church grows, it might get harder in some ways. And we know it's your heart as a pastor, and Pastor P.D.A. notes on this issue will give some ideas. But thank you for doing great jobs and caring. This is Pastor P.D.A. on Newt Larson with Jim Brown with Jeff Bog, hoping to help all of us care better. Let's keep going. Thank you. You.