Transcription
This is a very strange story in the Gemara in Masechet Shabbat, in the discussion of the giving of the Torah. I would say that this is one of the most perplexing Torah sayings of our Sages, of blessed memory, regarding the Torah and the holiday of Shavuot. In the portion of the giving of the Torah, when we read Parshat Yitro on the holiday of Shavuot each year, there is a famous verse in the book of Exodus, chapter 19, verse 17. "And Moses brought the people out to meet God from the camp, and they stood at the foot of the mountain."
On this, the Gemara in Shabbat, page 88, asks: What is the meaning of "and they stood at the foot of the mountain"? For the verse should have said "and they stood near the mountain," "and they stood opposite the mountain," "and they stood beside the mountain," but "at the foot of the mountain." "At the foot of the mountain" means, as Rashi writes, literally under the mountain. How is it possible to stand under the mountain?
On this, the Gemara says: "Vayikaf HaKadosh Baruch Hu aleihem et ha-har kegigit." This teaches that the Holy One, Blessed be He, "caged" the mountain over them like a barrel. "If you accept the Torah, good; if not, here will be your burial." From this verse, we learn that the Holy One, Blessed be He, as it were, took the mountain and "caged" it over them like a barrel. Rashi says that a "gigit" is a large vat, a huge barrel, a very large barrel into which wine is poured. When the vat is turned upside down and placed on someone's head, then, as it were, the Holy One, Blessed be He, took the mountain and "caged" it over the heads of all of Israel, over the heads of all of the people of Israel, like a barrel, and said to them: "If you accept the Torah, excellent, very good; if not, here will be your burial."
Up to here is the story from the Gemara. And here there is a basic and immense question: What value is there in such a covenant that is created out of coercion and duress? After all, at this moment, the Holy One, Blessed be He, will make a covenant with Israel forever. They are to be a kingdom of priests and a holy nation, a treasured people, and through them all the families of the earth will be blessed. They are to be ambassadors of the Holy One, Blessed be He, to transform the world into a dwelling place for the Blessed One, into a place of goodness, a place of compassion, a place of love, a place of morality, a place of holiness, to perfect the world in the kingdom of the Almighty, and all flesh will call on Your name.
I will ask even in simple business parlance: What kind of business is this, where you "cage" someone? You "cage" them under a mountain? Someone says, "If you accept the partnership, good; if not, you will be buried here." Okay, he says yes, he has no choice. But this is truly because there is no choice. What value does this have? There is no desire here, no longing, no option, no heartfelt emotion, no pathos. This is all coercion and duress.
Specifically, the Mishnah says in Masechet Ketubot: "On his wedding day, he is like a king." This is the giving of the Torah. In many places in the Midrashim of our Sages, the event at Mount Sinai is likened to a wedding, an engagement, and a betrothal between the Holy One, Blessed be He, and the congregation of Israel. In betrothal, there is a law: "A woman is not acquired except with her consent." Even with Rebecca, there was a consultation. "They called the maiden and asked her, 'Will you go with this man?'" From here, we learn that there is no betrothal except with the consent of the man and the consent of the woman.
And in general, ask yourselves: What would you say if some man asked a woman to stand under a mountain? "Stand under this mountain. If you agree to marry me, good; if not, this mountain will fall on you." What would she say? "Okay, okay, I agree." But how much value is there in such a relationship? What kind of partnership is this supposed to be? Was there no other way to persuade the people of Israel?
How are we to understand this whole matter of "caging like a barrel"? There is also the second question, the famous question of the Tosafot. The Tosafot asked: "I do not understand why this was necessary. Already the day before, Israel said, 'We will do and we will hear.' They already agreed the day before. They already said with joy and gladness, 'We will do and we will hear.'" What need was there, asks the Tosafot, to take the mountain and "cage" it over them like a barrel and threaten them?
The Tosafot explain: The Holy One, Blessed be He, thought that when the Jews, when the people of Israel, saw the great fire and all the commotion that happened at the giving of the Torah, they would regret the whole business. This is what the Tosafot write there. They would have returned. When they saw the great fire, their souls departed.
On this, many commentators ask: Then why wait until they regret it? Why is there a need to coerce them with the mountain like a barrel, after they already agreed with joy, "We will do and we will hear"? Because you fear that perhaps soon they will regret it. It would be better to wait until they regret it. Perhaps they will not regret it.
The Maharal of Prague, one of the great leaders of Israel and great thinkers of Israel in the Middle Ages. The Maharal of Prague passed away on the 15th of Elul in the year 5369 (1609). He was the chief rabbi of the city of Prague, who wrote many books on Jewish thought, as well as a commentary on the Aggadot, "Gevurot Hashem," and several other books. In three places, the Maharal of Prague, Rabbi Yehuda Leib ben Rabbi Betzalel of Prague, elaborates on this Gemara in his commentary on Parshat Yitro. It is in his book "Netzach Yisrael," chapter 14, and in his book "Tiferet Yisrael," chapter 32.
There, the Maharal quotes a strange Midrash from the book "Torah Shlemah." The author, Rabbi Kasher, says that he has not found such a Midrash, but the Maharal quotes this Midrash, it seems, three times. He says: "I found in a Midrash: Why did the Holy One, Blessed be He, "cage" the mountain over them at the giving of the Torah? Because He wanted them to accept His covenant willingly. He wanted them to be willing." Why?
The Midrash brings a verse from Parshat Ki Teitzei, chapter 22, verse 29: "There is the tragic and very sorrowful case of one who rapes." One who rapes a woman against her will. So what is there? The fine and the punishment. "He shall not divorce her all his days." This woman, perhaps she feared no one would marry her. There is a law that if the woman wants, if she does not want, she does not want. But if she wants, the rapist must remain, marry her, and he is forbidden to divorce her all his days. This is, of course, if she is not interested, there is no obligation here. But if she is interested, he must remain. He has no choice. "He shall not divorce her all his days."
The Maharal says, the Midrash says: The Holy One, Blessed be He, knew that perhaps a day would come when He would want to divorce His wife, He would want to divorce the people of Israel. So what did He do? He, as it were, transformed Himself into a rapist. This is what the Maharal says. The Holy One, Blessed be He, "rapes" them, so they remain with the Holy One, Blessed be He, forever, until He can never divorce them. "He shall not divorce her all his days." Up to here are the words of the Midrash.
And this requires explanation, my dear. What is happening here? The Holy One, Blessed be He, needs to put on the shoes of a rapist? God forbid, something immoral, something disgusting, something that behaves monstrously, something corrupt. And He is the example. The Holy One, Blessed be He, says, "Oh, I want to do the same thing, so that I can never divorce them all their days." We would expect there to be a union here out of desire, out of love. This is a tremendous question here from the Maharal.
The Maharal of Prague explains the matter thus. I will quote a few words from his golden tongue. He says: "Since the acceptance of the Torah is the perfection of the entire world, how could there be any possibility of such a thing? It is impossible for this matter to be possible or impossible. The acceptance of the Torah necessitates..." He says: "And if they had accepted the Torah willingly, they would have thought that the matter depends on their will, and it is possible that there would be a separation from this matter. For if they do not keep the Torah, there would be a nullification of its giving, and this is impossible."
I want to explain the words of the Maharal, at least as I understand them. At least one point from the Maharal's words. The Maharal explains thus: The acceptance of the Torah is not something that can depend on goodwill. This is a project, a product, a good product from heaven. We receive it. "We will do and we will hear." This is the best. But there is a deficiency here. Why? Because the Torah is essentially a picture of reality. The Torah is a guide, a blueprint. The architect who is written in the Midrash that the Holy One, Blessed be He, created the world, He created it like an architect. He created it according to blueprints and plans. That is, just as the architect creates what is called the blueprint, the entire structure, before that, and according to this, the contractor who builds uses the architect's drawings to build the house. So the Holy One, Blessed be He, looked at His creation and His thought. What do these words mean?
The meaning of the words is that the reality of the world is a reflection of the Torah. Since it is in the Torah, it is in the world. The Torah is a divine guide on how to behave in the world in the healthiest way, in this world and in the world to come, physically and spiritually. Let's say tomorrow, let's take a vote: Can a person fly like a bird or not? Well, perhaps this time the UN will vote that a person cannot fly. Okay. And what happens tomorrow? They vote that he can fly. People will climb onto the top of the tree and start flying. We know the end of the story: they break their bones, they break their whole body. You are not a bird. This is not something that can be voted on.
Why not? Because I do not want you to deceive yourself. Because you need to understand that this is reality. You can live within reality or deny it, and it will only harm yourself, and it will harm those who love you, and it will harm your entire environment. Let's decide, let's vote: Does gravity exist or not? Even if you agree, yes, it's a joke. Why not? Because I do not want you to disagree. Yes, you will agree that there is gravity, and you need gravity. But it's as if it's something that depends on your agreement. One morning you wake up on the right side and say, "There is gravity, and I am not flying." Ah, okay. Today I am not flying. One day I wake up in the morning, perhaps I took something in the middle of the night, and I decide, "I can fly." Destruction and ruin for the whole world. There are fixed laws of reality. This is how the world behaves. You can deny them, you can agree to them, but you cannot change them. The only way to a happy life is by aligning your reality with your perspective and the reality.
Within reality, there is a deeper reality, and this is called the Torah. The instructions of the Torah, the guidance of the Torah, the views of the Torah, the thoughts of the Torah. This is not some system that the Creator of the world forces upon you from the outside to make you behave contrary to your will. On the contrary, it was created by the One who created the human mind, who created the human soul, who created human desires, who created human inclinations, who created the world, who created everything. Oops, who created everything from everything. Apparently, there is gravity. It fell. I cannot argue with that. Someone decides tomorrow, "I want to eat, I know, I will eat, I will eat glass for breakfast." It is impossible. "I love glass. I love glass." You cannot eat glass. Your digestive system, your biology will not agree to that. You can eat glass from tomorrow, and in 90 years, you champion of millennia, it will kill you.
The Torah is the inner reality of the world. The laws of the Torah are from the One who created the mind, created human desires, created human nature, created the entire earth, created the entire cosmos, created the entire universe. The Maharal says: This is a matter of "caging like a barrel." This is not a matter of forcing you. I do not care what you think. This symbolizes the place of the Torah in the world. What is the place of the Torah in the people of Israel? It is possible that for years I will fight against the Torah. I am not interested in it. But it is as if I am fighting against gravity. I am fighting against the fixed laws of nature and creation. A horse is a horse, and a lion is a lion. You decide that a fish should come out of the water and live on land. Okay? Decide from today onwards. But this is a war against nature. The chemistry of a fish requires it to be underwater. I have no choice in these matters. The choice is how to live in a way that I adapt myself to reality, not to fight against reality. And this was the point at the acceptance of the Torah. The mountain had to be "caged" like a barrel. If you accept the laws, and if not, it is a war against reality. The Torah reflects the inner reality of the people of Israel, and of all nations, and of the entire world.
Up to here is the content of the Maharal's words. Very deep words. I spoke once with young people about this matter, and I told them: Someone buys a mobile phone. The manual says not to put it in water. He goes into the bathtub, he wants the mobile phone, he goes into the water. Well, of course, the mobile phone is ruined. He gets angry at those who sold it to him, who stole his money. "This is my mobile phone, I can do with it what I want. I want to put it in water." What cruelty! This is not cruelty, this is not corruption. The one who created the mobile phone knows the mobile phone. He tells you facts, he does not argue with you. You want to use the mobile phone, you want to use it for a long time in the best way. Do not put it in water, do not put it in a refrigerator, do not put it in the oven, on the stove. This is simply a manual built from the reality of the mobile phone. He does not want to force you or compel you and "cage" you and destroy you. On the contrary. He wants to help you use your product in the best way.
Our brain is very, very complex. There are 100 billion neurons there. Our entire body is very complex. There are 50 trillion cells there. Trillions. Not millions, not billions. So the Creator of the world, who created this product, knows all the intricacies internally and externally, because He knows us. The soul went, and the body is here. He gave a manual, He gave instructions. I want you to use yourself in the most wonderful way, in the most marvelous way, not only in the world to come, but also in this world. And here is the manual: the commandments, the prohibitions. For the children of Noah, compared to the world, this is not something that depends on my agreement, on your agreement. You agree, very good. "We will do and we will hear." But there must be consequences here.
The Maharal says: What is this about? This is about the basic existence of creation. There is a hierarchy, there is a system. You want to deny the system? Okay, I am not judging you. But you must understand, I cannot deny the system that is fixed in the depth of creation. On the contrary. All of creation was created according to the blueprint, according to the plan, the blueprint of the Torah.
Now let's see how the Baal Shem Tov explained these words of the Maharal. Here we see how the Chassidic philosophy, which was revealed by our master the Baal Shem Tov, whose yahrzeit is on the holiday of Shavuot. Rabbi Yisrael Baal Shem Tov was born on the 18th of Elul, the yahrzeit of the Maharal of Prague. Elul is the birthday of the Baal Shem Tov, the birthday of the Baal Shem Tov, and the yahrzeit of the Maharal of Prague. The Baal Shem Tov was born in the year 5458 (1698). The Maharal passed away about 90 years before that, in 5369. He passed away on the holiday of Shavuot, 5369.
The Baal Shem Tov was a great and devoted disciple, Rabbi Yaakov Yosef Hacohen Katz. He is known in the world of Chassidut as the author of the book "Toldot Yaakov Yosef." His name was Rabbi Yaakov Yosef Katz. He is called Rabbi Yaakov Yosef of Polonoye. He was the chief rabbi of Polonoye, a city in Ukraine. He was born in the year 5475 (1715), several years before the Baal Shem Tov. He passed away on the 20th of Tishrei, 5523 (1782). He is known as Rabbi Yaakov Yosef Hacohen of Polonoye, the author of "Toldot."
The innovation of "Toldot Yaakov Yosef" is that the Baal Shem Tov did not write his Torah teachings. There, he brings many things that he heard directly, from a primary source, from the Baal Shem Tov. He has the book "Toldot Yaakov Yosef." He also has the book "Ben Porat Yosef." His name was Yosef. Rabbi Yaakov Yosef has the book "Toldot Yaakov Yosef." He has the book "Ben Porat Yosef." What Yaakov said about Yosef in Parshat Vayechi: "Ben Porat Yosef." There, in Parshat Vayeshev, he quotes something he heard from his master and teacher.
At the celebration of the holiday of Shavuot, from the Baal Shem Tov, which adds a wonderful and profound nuance and depth to the words of the Maharal. And I quote the words of the author of "Toldot": "The Holy One, Blessed be He, feared that Israel might say, 'If there is the enthusiasm of the great fire, then there is a place for the service of God in Torah or prayer. But when the great fire is gone, there is no place for service.' As Ramban wrote in his questions regarding the service of God: 'What is true service of God?' And they replied: 'If there is father and mother, that is service of God. If not, it is all in vain.' I heard this from my teacher."
Therefore, the Holy One, Blessed be He, "caged" the mountain over Israel to teach that even when one does not desire the Torah and the service of God, it is not a reason to be idle, but rather to do according to one's ability. So say the words of the Baal Shem Tov, which also explain powerfully in a new way the words of the Tosafot, which are also seemingly perplexing, which we quoted at the beginning of the lesson. The explanation of the matter was clarified by the disciple of the Baal Shem Tov, the Rabbi Maggid, our master Rabbi Dov Baer of Mezritch, who took the place of the Baal Shem Tov. He has the book "Orah LaChaim." One of the disciples of the Maggid, in Parshat Behar, and there he quotes his teacher, the Rabbi Maggid, and it says thus: "At the time of the giving of the Torah, the people of Israel were at a great level, with great intellects, and they said, 'We will do and we will hear.' Until the Gemara says in Masechet Shabbat that God said, 'Who revealed to My children the secret that the ministering angels use, saying "We will do" before "We will hear"?' Who revealed to them these great secrets that they use the code of the ministering angels? But God knew that it is possible that the people of Israel would fall from their level and their intellects would fall, and they would think that the service is no longer relevant to them. And this is why He "caged" the mountain over them like a barrel, that even then the service is relevant, and they must serve God according to their ability and their level, wherever they are."
The words of the Baal Shem Tov, in the explanation of the Rabbi Maggid, are profound, wonderful, and relevant. The explanation of the matter is thus: There are times in life when something happens. The Baal Shem Tov: "intellects of greatness." "Intellects of greatness" means you are in a state where you have clear consciousness. I know who I am, what my role is in the world. There is inspiration, there is clarity of intellect, there is balance. Then there are no questions. I know who I am and I have a clear and distinct perspective of what it means to be a Jew in life. And then I feel that the service of God is organic. It is the most natural thing for me, the healthiest thing for me. How does the Mishnah say at the end of Kiddushin? "I was created to serve my Maker." These are great days, days of "intellects of greatness," days of clarity of heart, clarity of mind, clarity of soul. Your vision, your observation is clear. The perspective, the outlook, and your perspective are clear. There is balance, what is called "yishuv hada'at" (tranquility of mind), there is a connection between the Creator and His creation. You reflect the reality of creation.
But there are days of "intellects of smallness." There are days when I fall from my intellects. I no longer understand, and I no longer feel what I felt yesterday, or a week ago, or a month ago. Gray days, and sometimes dark days. Do you remember the song of my friend Avraham Fried? "There are beautiful days, everything is clear. But there are difficult hours, everything is unclear. Hold on tight, my little one. Not always is everything clear outside. Wind, storm, and hail. Remember and be strengthened. Hold on tight, my little one." There are rainy days, days of apathy and indifference, alienation and laziness, sometimes days of fear or anxiety, days when I feel disconnected. Then I long for something that will bring me comfort at this moment. And it is very easy to disconnect from oneself.
The Baal Shem Tov says: "Therefore, He 'caged' the mountain over them like a barrel." Certainly, now, at the giving of the Torah, they were in a state of "intellects of greatness." After all, now they saw the exodus from Egypt, they saw the splitting of the Red Sea, they counted 49 days, as the Ran says at the end of Pesachim, in eager anticipation of receiving the Torah, "face to face, the Lord spoke with you on the mountain," from the fire. A heavenly, transcendent state. And the whole world saw the fire. But the Holy One, Blessed be He, knew that there would be gray days, days full of difficult experiences, crises in life, tragedies in life, falls in life, things that happen within me or outside of me, things that I choose, or sometimes things that I do not choose.
What does it mean to "cage" the mountain over them like a barrel? To instill something terrible and powerful. The relationship between us is not conditional on how you feel. For example, if I feel clarity and the intellect is in a strong mood, with pathos, with desire, with passion and fire, then we are truly connected, holy and blessed by God. But now I am in a state of exile. Yes, I have "intellects of smallness," I have doubts, confusion, challenges, mazes. "He 'caged' the mountain over them." Even now, I give you the Torah, even when you feel that you are coerced, that it is duress, that it is not you, the real you. There is an essential relationship that does not change, because your soul is a part of God, truly, in every situation, in every circumstance, every day, every place, every time. You are always okay. Your essence is a flow from the Infinite, in His glory. You are part of the Infinite, even when you are not in the right mood. The relationship is powerful, and your service to God is wonderful and worthwhile.
This morning I learned from the Torah of the Baal Shem Tov, a discourse in Parshat Bechukotai, on the reproof: "These are the statutes and the ordinances and the laws." The Baal Shem Tov comments thus: "Israel, in themselves, it is written in Midrash Rabbah Bereshit, 'they entered into the thought of God.' There is no separation. Their will is specifically for His unity, Blessed be He. They are believers, children of believers, and no curse applies to them, God forbid. In themselves, all the curses are to bring the external forces and the impurity that cling to them." One of the deepest tragedies in life is to mix the external shell that is upon me with my inner self. Their inner self is "believers, children of believers." There is no doubt about this. This is reality. This is the reality. Just as the Torah is the essence of creation, so are they in thought, and they are always attached, one with God, one and united with God. Blessed are you in every situation, at all times.
But what happens? Sometimes there are things that cover my essence, that cover my essence, that overshadow my true nature. Okay, okay. Then I feel that I need, I need to force myself. "Cage like a barrel," he says. "Do not doubt. Do not legitimize your service on gray days." Perhaps you will think, "Okay, I have no choice." But this is not called pure service. This is service of God like the food of a robber, the food of bandits. I am stealing from myself. This is half-cooked service. This is not ripe grapes. This is stolen service from bandits. The Holy One, Blessed be He, says: No, I am doing this. Specifically, at the giving of the Torah. The giving of the Torah is the peak of God's closeness. There was no giving of the Torah, there will be no giving of the Torah again. The Baal Shem Tov said: This is the peak of closeness to God. "Face to face, the Lord spoke with you." "You saw the sounds." How does Moses say in Ve'etchanan? "The soul, as it were." "As we asked on the first days, has there ever been anything like this, that an entire nation heard God speaking from the fire and lived?" And precisely at these moments, precisely at these moments before the giving of the Torah, He "caged" the mountain over them, to say: "In a thousand years, in two thousand years, in three thousand years, you will see a day, and you will feel coerced. I am not interested. I am not interested in studying Torah, I am not interested in prayer, I am not interested in observing the commandments, I am not interested in loving Israel, I am not interested in peace in the home, I am not interested in loving children and educating children. I am not interested in peace, truly and sincerely, and in morality. I feel coerced." This is the dimension of Mount Sinai. Now, when you serve God in a state of coercion, it is a gift. It is a gift.
In Berachot, page 33b, it says: "What is the meaning of 'forced'? Even if part of my heart cries out, 'Coercion! Coercion!'" How do they say in the land? "Religious coercion." All of it is coercion, rape, and duress. This does not weaken it, even though it is the covenant, the bond, the attachment, the loyalty. Why? Because this is your inner self. The inner self of every Jew is that he is a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. He is imbued, or she is imbued, with holiness from within. "You are called children of your God." "Between this and that, you are called children of holiness."
There are parts in my animal soul now that do not feel the attachment, do not feel clarity. That's okay. On the contrary, there is a greater advantage in this. The feeling of "caging like a barrel" is not a forgery. It is an awareness that there are in you, and in you, and in you, and in me, different sides. And when now my animal soul is struggling with indifference, emotional detachment, apathy, fear, confusion, anxiety, or some evil spirit that overcomes me, or all sorts of feelings and desires, if it is envy, sleep, lust, addiction, seeking honor, seeking praise, seeking approval. I can understand that there are sides in me that now want to break a window, want to run away from my relationship, want to be idle and do nothing, feel this way, apathy. Show empathy, understand. Yes, there are sides in me that now want to break a window, want to run away from my relationship, want to be idle and do nothing, feel this way, apathy. Show empathy. But know who I truly am and behave accordingly. Not only is this not an external thing or foolishness, but on the contrary, there is a great advantage in it, because it shows a deeper inner relationship. That I need to work on it. "Caging like a barrel." This is not a war against yourself. On the contrary, it is understanding the external sides in you that want to survive, but to remain connected and attentive to your true inner self, your divine soul. And then what happens? The dark parts of me become part of the relationship. I do not need to deny them, I do not need to bury them, I do not need to run away from them. I can bring them onto the train with empathy, say, "I understand. I understand what happened here." The "caging" over them is not coercion, God forbid, abuse, where you kill and destroy your individuality. On the contrary, it is that you understand that there are different and complex sides in you, and you bring them all onto the holy train.
Rabbi Meir Shapiro once said: "What is the advantage of man over an animal?" The verse says: "Vanity of vanities, all is vanity." He said: "What is the advantage of man over an animal?" The ability to say, "No." It is not vanity. The advantage of man over an animal is that a person can say, "No, I hear what you are saying, but no." "No" means, well, that is the advantage of man over an animal. And this is essentially the soul and the depth of the words of the Maharal of Prague. The Maharal says that the Torah is not something that God forces upon creation from the outside, some system of laws and commandments and rulings that the world is drawn to. But the Jewish religion compels us to do this. No. It is like there are natural things within creation. For example, the sun draws water. The sun behaves like a magnet, and without it, there would be no life on Earth, because nothing would grow. Since the sun is like a magnet, it draws the water, and from this, clouds are formed. But if there were no winds, the rain would fall back into the sea. Again, there would be no growth on Earth. But because there are winds that scatter the clouds everywhere, when the water falls, all the grasses, and all the plants, and all the flowers, and all the vegetables, and all the fruits, and all the legumes, and all the seeds grow and flourish, and there is oxygen, and there is life, and there are foods on Earth. This is part of the reality of creation. The Torah is the depth of the reality of creation.
The Baal Shem Tov says: "He 'caged' the mountain over them like a barrel." This is also your reality. Behaving according to the values of the Torah and the commandments is not something you are forced to do from the outside. On the contrary, it is your inner nature. The coercion is only to speak to the external sides in you, or to comfort them, or to say to them, "I got you back. I am here for you. I understand your pain. But I am telling you, this is the right thing." And perhaps from this, we learn from the Gemara. We learn from the Rambam. The Rambam learned a great innovation in the laws of divorce, chapter 7, halacha 15. The Rambam says that if there is a Jew who does not want to give a get (divorce) to his wife, there are many, especially abroad, this system is very difficult. There are those who refuse to give a get to a woman and use it to abuse the woman, God forbid. The Rambam says: If the law is that a man must divorce his wife, and he does not want to, then the court of Israel compels him until he says, "I want."
Why is this get invalid? After all, he is coerced. A get must be given willingly. What does the Rambam say there? Something wonderful. He says: When do we say it is coerced? If he is pressured to do something that he is not obligated to do by the Torah. Someone beats a person to make him sell his house, to give something he does not want. This is called coerced. "He who is overcome by his evil inclination," says the Rambam, "to violate a commandment or to commit a sin, and he is found to have done something he was obligated to do, or to have refrained from something forbidden by the Torah, this is not coerced. He is not coerced. He coerced himself with his evil thought." On the contrary, he coerced himself with his evil thought. This is what he says: "If his evil inclination overcomes him to violate a commandment, and now I am forcing him to do a commandment, this is not called..." And so says the Rambam: "He who does not want to divorce, since he wants to be a Jew and wants to do all the commandments and refrain from sins, and his inclination has overcome him, and he is found that his inclination has weakened and he said, 'I want,' he has already divorced." His will is here.
In the words of the halacha, the Rambam says: In the entire matter, there is an inner essence of a Jew. He wants to be a Jew, he wants to do all the commandments, to refrain from sins. His evil inclination has overcome him, and he has coerced himself. This is what he says: "He who is overcome by his evil inclination to violate a commandment, and now I am forcing him to do a commandment, this is not called..." And so says the Rambam: "He who does not want to divorce, since he wants to be a Jew and wants to do all the commandments and refrain from sins, and his inclination has overcome him, and he is found that his inclination has weakened and he said, 'I want,' he has already divorced." His will is here.
In the words of the halacha, the Rambam says: In the entire matter, there is an inner essence of a Jew. He wants to be a Jew, he wants to do all the commandments, to refrain from sins. His evil inclination has overcome him, and he has coerced himself. This is what he says: "He who does not want to divorce, since he wants to be a Jew and wants to do all the commandments and refrain from sins, and his inclination has overcome him, and he is found that his inclination has weakened and he said, 'I want,' he has already divorced." His will is here. In the words of the halacha, the Rambam says: In the entire matter, there is an inner essence of a Jew. He wants to be a Jew, he wants to do all the commandments, to refrain from sins. His evil inclination has overcome him, and he has coerced himself. This is what he says: "He who does not want to divorce, since he wants to be a Jew and wants to do all the commandments and refrain from sins, and his inclination has overcome him, and he is found that his inclination has weakened and he said, 'I want,' he has already divorced." His will is here.
The Rambam does not make any distinction as to what type of Jew it is. It can be a convert, even a converted Jew, a distant Jew. Even about him, they say that from his inner self, he wants to do all the commandments, to refrain from sins. His evil inclination has overcome him and coerced him. He is the one who is coerced, he is a captive of himself, of his external parts. When he was coerced and said, "I want," he simply removed his external self, because he wants to reveal his inner self. Even if he himself cries out afterwards, "I really don't want to," that too is external. And this is the hint of "He shall not divorce her all his days." The Maharal asks: What is the matter? Now we will understand. This is like an essential matter. It is impossible to separate. God says, it is written in Shir HaShirim: "I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine." It is impossible. I cannot. What is the matter of the rapist? Certainly, there it is because of something sad, something immoral, and something cruel. "He shall not divorce her all his days." But the idea here, the Holy One, Blessed be He, says: I cannot separate from you. Our relationship is deeper.
Certainly, there is desire and excitement and love and attachment, which is wonderful and charming, and you desire it and long for it. But do not limit the relationship to the level of emotion. Do not limit the essential connection to the quantity or quality of emotion. Like a mother with a child, or a mother with a daughter, or a father with a son or daughter. There is always emotion. There is a bond of love. Sometimes there are disagreements, sometimes there is pain, sometimes a son pains his father and mother, or vice versa. And there can be a feeling of alienation, and sometimes even a very negative feeling. But if it is a healthy father and mother, they know that the essence and the essential connection remain with the same intensity or the same strength, even if now something is cold. I cannot feel it. That's okay. Take a short break, drink a cold coffee, go for a walk, it will return. You don't need to worry about the "caging like a barrel." It's okay. Everyone knows what is written in the Midrashim of our Sages, and the Rambam elaborates on it in the laws of Teshuvah, chapter 7, halacha 10. The relationship of God and the congregation of Israel. This parable is a trial of a man and a woman. All of Shir HaShirim is based on the idea that the relationship of "I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine" symbolizes and reflects our relationship with God. And if so, all that we have spoken about the event at Mount Sinai, "today is his wedding day," all these things, all this parable, all this vision, is also true in partnership, in peace in the home.
There are days in a relationship that are days of joy and celebration. There is desire, and there is attachment, and there is an open connection, and there is openness of heart. Your heart is open, her heart is open, your heart is open. God has blessed you to live in this time. But there are gray days, and there are days of anger, or days of alienation, or days of simple apathy. Perhaps days of pressure. Perhaps something is happening within the home or outside the home, or within the body of one of the spouses, and this causes perhaps, perhaps, perhaps a negative feeling or emotional detachment. And this can manifest in a million ways. There are those who, in such moments, run away from the relationship, run away from the partnership, or behave in an alienated manner. And this is a grave mistake. "Caging like a barrel" is a wonderful and charming metaphor. God says, even if part of my heart or yours cries out, "I am not interested. I am not interested. I want to run to Zimbabwe. I want to run to New Zealand for years." Okay. Part of your heart cries out, cries out, cries out. Okay. You have a wound, you have trauma, you have an impulse that feels very coerced. And at that moment, when you "cage" yourself to think correctly, to speak politely and lovingly, to do loving deeds, and you cry out, "No, this is not me. I am waiting. I am like a barrel." This is a fake partnership. This does not weaken it, because this is the sincerity and authenticity of the partnership. Because this is your inner self. Your inner self is like it is written in the Zohar, Parshat Vayikra: "Man and woman are two halves of a soul that unite together." One is one soul. This is the inner self within the inner self. You are united. This is not always felt in every part of my heart. That's right, and that's okay. On the contrary, it even shows an inner connection, because then I demonstrate that our relationship is not conditional on circumstances and external moods. The best and deepest partnership in the world is when a man can say to his wife, "Listen, because of my wounds from childhood, perhaps I feel this way," and he can say frankly what he feels. And the woman can also say it: "Because of the trauma within my trauma, I now feel this way towards you." And each one can contain the wounds of the other without running away. Wow, this creates the deepest marriage. It saves every marriage and turns it into something deep and authentic. Why? Because you do not deny the dark parts within you. You bring them into the relationship. You bring them onto the train of your experience. "Caging like a barrel." This means that this too is part of my relationship. I do not need to fear the dark parts within me. I do not need to run away from them. I do not need to deny them. I do not need to bury them. I can look at them and say, "I see them." And now I choose to remain in this relationship, because this is my true will. Happy holiday. M.