Transcription
But what I'm getting you to do is covertly make an identity agreement about yourself. This is just one of the most critical lessons that I teach any of my one-on-one clients.
How do you make someone focus completely on your words? There's a few different ways to do that. First, when you want someone to focus, if I want you to feel anything, then I all I get you to do is pull files out of your mental file cabinet. And this is one of the most powerful techniques that people don't really understand. If I talk about something, you have to pull out your references and all of your files about that thing in your own file cabinet. You can't resist it. Like if I say pink elephant, I've just created an image in your head irresponsibly, which is how we usually use language. If I talk about something vividly, then I'm getting you to pull out these files.
And this is just one of the most critical lessons that I teach any of my one-on-one clients. So, if I know that I can get files pulled out of your file cabinet, I also know that your file clerk or whatever we call like this memory retrieval system, he's going down there and he's going to pull out this file, this file, this file. Everything that he pulls out, he's going to leave it out on the desk. And because he's leaving it out on the desk, that makes the memory way more accessible later on. And this is called priming.
So, if I want to get you to think that being really focused on something is your own idea, I'll talk about when I watched a show and how it captivated all of my attention, I might shift the words from me saying I to using the word you. So, name name like a really good movie. Die Hard.
So, Die Hard is one of those movies that people don't think is a Christmas movie, but kind of is a Christmas movie. I remember the first time watching Die Hard. It's one of those times where you're sitting there and now I've just shifted to you and people don't notice like you didn't notice that I shifted from I to you. So, it's one of those moments where you're just sitting there, you're watching a movie and all of a sudden this one thing gets super interesting and all your focus gets sucked up into this one thing. It's like the volume on everything else around you gets completely turned down and you just completely zone in on something.
In order for you to understand what I just said, you had to pull out references from your own memory. So, I'm getting you to pull those files out one by one as I'm describing each little piece of this process. The second thing I did that you may not have noticed is when I said you get completely focused on just one thing. I'm pointing at myself right now very covertly. I'm not like doing this, right? But I'm saying you just get completely focused on just one thing. And it's like the volume on everything else gets completely turned down as I'm pointing away from your line of sight to me.
What we did here is pulled out all those files, made it more readily available, and then made you think that it's your own idea to feel how you feel because they that all came from your own head. And then I'd use what's called gestural referencing when I'm saying something and then pointing in a certain direction. So like if I want to demonize another group of people, I might point Am I not going to point at you, right? I would want to point at me. I want to point like away from us.
So let's say the goal is to to make you super focused. I know that you are a podcaster. So, I might say, you know, I've been on a lot of podcasts. It's amazing how so many times I'll be on a podcast and there's this one podcaster who's like you, he's talking to you, but he can't pay attention. They're not really connected. They're not tuned in to the conversation. You're nodding your head the whole time.
But what I'm getting you to do is covertly make an identity agreement about yourself. I'm covertly getting you to agree that you are not that type of person. So, if we started out our conversation that way and I talked about watching Die Hard, how it is to get focused on something and then I demonized this other group of people that's not not us, saying that they can't focus, they can't tune in, they can't really connect with another person. During that time, your brain is making these agreements. And the moment I get you to make an identity agreement, that's different than an idea. So, I can say, "Yeah, it's really important to focus on a podcast," you'd be like, "Oh, yeah, yeah." Cuz I'm getting you, that's an idea. An identity is me getting you to say, "I am not that person. or I am this person depending on how I'm wording myself."
Then we add in a third layer. This one would be like using what's called an embedded command which are not really effective for achieving big things but making small shifts in a person's thoughts. You can you can use these for sure. And this is where you hide a sentence inside of a sentence and the sentence should be able to stand on its own and it should sound like its own sentence. Essentially, the four rules of delivering some kind of embedded language in your language is number one, whatever you say to that person has to be standalone as a sentence. Number two, you drop your tone. And dropping the tone means I'm going to talk to you in a way that I'm telling you to do something, but it's hidden within a sentence. And number three, I want to return to our topic of discussion as fast as possible. So, your brain is not picking up on what's happening, and I'm returning you back to familiar territory very quickly.
Let's say I just talked about these other podcasters and I would say, you know, I think it's it's really rare when someone could just stop and completely focus with me. The way I see it when I'm on a podcast, I might just go right back to podcasting, right? So that would be coming back to the conversation. But what I said is stop and completely focus with me all as one sentence. So if you took the audio clip of what I just said out, that's its own sentence. And I paused before and I paused after to help your the unconscious part of your brain pick up on that more. like it pays more attention to it even though it sounds like a run-on sentence.
So when I'm saying the words with me, the conscious part of your brain thinks that it's hearing one me starting a new sentence. Let's say the word like get completely fascinated and I want to say that to another person. I might say, you know, it's one of those moments just like when we're watching Die Hard. One of those moments where you can just stop and feel completely fascinated with me the way I see it. And then I would go right back into our conversation. But I said get completely fascinated with me. I didn't say with me. So if you cut the audio out of what I said, you would think that I was telling someone to do something.