How to stop feeling sorry for yourself

So, in my last video, I triggered a lot of people. People did not like the video where I said why everyone is obsessed with me. Now, what you guys didn't know is that I posted this video strategically to trigger people. Why did I want to trigger people? First of all, you only learn through your triggers. You can never know what is wrong with you until you actually feel a feeling and you can ask yourself, "Why am I feeling this?" A woman sitting in her dining room just talking about how people got obsessed with her, how people found her mesmerizing, and talking about her long-term relationships and friendships—that they got obsessed with her—should have never triggered a confident person. Why? Because they can see and listen to the advice that I'm giving. They do not care about what I'm saying because what I am saying they can see in themselves as well. The way I am talking about themselves, they can do that about themselves as well. But imagine you're a person; you're not comfortable in your own skin; you're not comfortable talking to yourself like that. You will get really triggered by that video, and that's absolutely the reaction that I wanted to create.

What would I suggest you do right now with a trigger? Take a journal and write down why this video triggered me. Write everything down that comes to your mind. If you say, "I hate this girl," whatever, doesn't matter; write everything down. Because after, like, behind every emotion there is an explanation, and this is not about me; this is about you. There is something which you that you need to work on. People that truly want to change, people that are at rock bottom, people, people that have no hope, they will look at the video. I could have said, "I have three toes," I could have said, "I have purple hair," "I have a third eye right here that's completely open." They would not have cared because they would have just listened to the advice because they need help, and those are the people that I'm trying to reach.

I am going to show you in this video how we can deal, and I'm going to explain to you guys how we are all privileged. There's literally men right now that have a big platform that are literally saying, "I hate women." They're saying, "Women deserve to be cheated on; women deserve to be lied to," and these men are praising them like Gods. But don't you dare be a woman that is good-looking; say that she's good-looking. Don't you dare, 'cause you're the real criminal here; you're the real narcissist here as well. Um, my mom, she called me; she's like, "Liz, I heard about your new video and that you put in the title that everyone is obsessed with you." She said, "Liz, why did you do that? I did not raise you to talk about yourself like that." I literally told her, "Mom, if I don't talk about myself like that, who's going to talk about me like that?"

Hi, guys, my name is Liz, and welcome back to my channel. First of all, I want to say something: pretty privilege exists, 100%. Pretty privilege exists. Do I benefit from pretty privilege right now? Yes, I absolutely do. Why? Because I can make pretty work for me. Okay, at the height of my most beautiful years—most beautiful—I was most depressed. I would not leave my room; I would not want to go outside; nothing. Beauty did not work for me then. Why? Because I had low self-esteem, low self-worth. I hated my life; I just didn't want to be alive, and I wanted to hide away. Pretty doesn't work then because I did not make pretty work for me. If pretty privilege was really the case, then I also believe that every beautiful woman on earth should be successful. I believe that, um, if you look at big celebrities, right, they're beautiful; they have fame; they have power; they have all the privileges, and yet they still get cheated on, and some of them just stay in that relationship because the mind is not right. Let's be honest here. You know you can't, you can't fix it when the mind is not right. If you are constantly going to whine about, "Oh yeah, she has pretty privilege, so it's easy for her," whatever. Um, okay, you have two arms and you have two legs. Well, there's somebody out there that doesn't have that. Well, you have leg privilege; you have arm privilege. Let's talk about that. You can see; you have not being blind privilege. And screw all of that. Let's talk about the fact that you have food on your table; you can afford a phone or a laptop or whatever to watch me on the screen. People do not have that privilege. Some people that are watching me come from a loving family; were not abused. You know what I would trade my beauty for? Just not—just having a good childhood. Because there's mental scars that I am still trying to fix: therapy after therapy after therapy. You know what? Beauty is something easy. Beauty is so easy. You know why it is? It is easy because most of you guys are not ugly; most of you guys just look unhealthy. If you have a healthy body shape, if you have just healthy, normal skin and kind of healthy hair—enough—that's enough to have pretty privilege. That's enough. You do not have to look like a model. And as well, instead of thinking like, "Oh, this girl has pretty privilege," whatever, think about how can I get as pretty as I can, if that is what you want. It is not wrong.

The thing is, as well, I cannot help my friends. It's been years, years, years of me trying to help them: "Hey, you deserve better. Oh, you can get this; you can that, blah, blah, blah. You deserve it." I can't help them. Why? People don't want to change; people don't want help. They're extremely pretty; pretty is not working for them. Okay, being hot is a mentality. You act like you're hot; people will perceive you as hot. You act like you're ugly; everyone will think you're ugly. Okay, I had this one friend; she was extremely gorgeous, extremely gorgeous. Like, even when I saw her for the first time, I said, "Whoa, I don't know people actually exist like this," because you look like an Instagram filter, and that was her in real life. And she constantly, when I was with her, "Liz, I'm so ugly. Liz, I'm so ugly. Liz, I hate my body. Liz, I'm really ugly. Liz," and I constantly, "No, you're not. No, you're not. No, you're not. No, you're not. No, you're not. No, you're not," until, you know what? This girl became unattractive to me because she kept reinforcing in my brain that she was ugly, so I believe that she was ugly, even though she was physically very pretty. I know girls extremely gorgeous, extremely beautiful; they have the shittiest personality I've ever seen in my life: mean, mean, mean. Like, even people, everyone that knows about them, right, they're so beautiful, they don't even want to date them; they don't want to go near them. People don't want to befriend them because they're mean; they spread rumors about people; try to literally make people's lives a hell. You know what happens? Your character shows on your face. My mom was the most beautiful woman in her whole city, in our home country; most beautiful woman. If I could put a picture up of my mom, you would literally say like, "Whoa, this woman should have been a supermodel." Literally, she was so beautiful and is still a very beautiful woman. You know what happened, by the way? I don't know if you guys knew this, but I'm a refugee; like, I'm an immigrant. Uh, we fled our country because there was a war going on, right? So my mom went—from having university degrees, working in a university, and it's very hard to get those, she would study day and night to get those—she went from having all of that to all of a sudden our country being invaded, having crazy war that lasted for years. My mom went from being at the height of everything to having nothing, and now she has children that she needs to take care of, right? And she was in a marriage with a man that abused her and gave her no money, nothing at all. I want to ask you guys, um, where is my mom's pretty privilege? Because this woman is drop-dead gorgeous; where, where is it? You know? Um, so what did my mom do? My mom literally, imagine, she saw bombs, bombs flying everywhere; uh, she lost family members; um, she saw dead people on the ground. Literally, all these traumas are happening, but she was in survival mode. Her only thing was, "We have to get out, and we, we have to save the children." So she came to another country; she doesn't know the language; her university diplomas mean nothing in this country. She went from working a university job to literally uh cleaning toilets to provide food for us because all the money that we were getting from the country, um, her husband would take and literally keep for himself, you know? So she had to deal with an abusive husband for years, years, years, meanwhile providing for her children and making sure her children have food on the table. My mom sold her jewelry so we would have clothes to go to school. I do not come from a wealthy family; I do not come from anything but really, really lots of abuse. And you guys don't get it because I gave you this much about my life. If I really went into detail, you guys would be shocked that I'm even alive today.

One day I sat down; I asked my mom, I said, "Mom, you have been through so much trauma and all these things you lost and everything, everything that happened to you, don't you feel sorry for yourself? Aren't you sad?" You know what she said to me? She said, "Liz, life is not for the weak." There is nothing that has literally touched me more and changed my mentality than what my mom said to me. Because this woman had life punch her down so much, and still, I have never seen this woman complain ever about anything. She said every single day she has so much gratitude for what she does have right now. Yes, she said situations happened; it was not nice, but whatever, right now I did learn the language; I bought a house; I did everything; I, I fixed it; I fixed it, and she's grateful for it. She said, "With literally uh God's blessing and with my strength, I made it," and she did. And that woman is so powerful; she's my biggest hero, and I look up to that woman. Everyone has their own problems; literally everyone does. There was this uh video that my sister sent me of this guy saying like uh his mom told him there was a saying, right? If we could all uh get into a group and we should all throw our problems in a pile, everyone would take their own problems and run because people have it worse than you, and people have it better than you, but it all does not matter. You can create the best life for yourself if you decide that you are going to create the best life for yourself up in your mind. Okay, I read this book; it's uh *13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do*. I'm going to tell you guys uh the tips they gave on how to stop feeling sorry for yourself. So basically, what happens when you feel sorry for yourself? First of all, it's a waste of time, right? You could use this time to actually heal yourself, work on yourself, try to become better. You're wasting time because, at the end of the day, nobody cares. You're going to wallow in your self-pity and how you are not privileged and blah, blah, blah, and nobody will care because nobody does care because life is harsh. Either you get tough or you let life make you tough. It leads to more negative emotions; you will start to feel self-pity, then you will start to feel anger and jealousy and everything, and then it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Everything that happens, "Oh, but it's just because life hates me, and everything is bad, and everything," and I don't have anything. That's literally where you're going to go for every single time something bad happens instead of just looking in the mirror and being like, "Hey, you know what? How can I fix this?" As well, it prevents you from dealing with your other emotions. If you have other, other underlying emotions, these are emotions that you have to deal with, right? But you can't because you're just wallowing and feeling sad for yourself. So I'm telling you, nothing is involving; you are not evolving. It causes you to overlook the good in life. So um, basically, I'm telling you, there's people right now, maybe from the hospital watching; they just want to be healthy, literally. So uh, feeling constantly sorry for yourself, you don't see the good things that you have, so you don't appreciate them. So what happens? Nothing comes to you that's good because constantly you're giving out this vibe of, "I do not have; I do not have." So what do you get? You get nothing. It also interferes with relationships. Um, complaining and constantly feeling sorry for yourself—who finds that attractive? Like, who constantly wants to listen to someone basically saying that they're ugly, that they don't have enough, they don't have enough money? Who wants to listen to them, please? Who?

So how do we turn self-pity around? Basically, what you need to do right now is you need to change your habits because feeling sorry for yourself constantly is a habit. See, things might have happened to you; you did something wrong; somebody did something wrong to you; you learned from your mistakes or you went on with your life, right? You need to come to terms with the situation. It happened; it happened, honey; it's fine; it happened. Okay, now we have to go and deal with the situation; deal with emotions; not focus on the things you lost, but focus on the things you still have right now; focus on the strength you still have right now and how you can move forward with it. First thing is what you can do to stop feeling self-pity: basically volunteer to a worthy cause, right? Basically, you can go help in a hospital; um, you can give food to the homeless, whatever. Once you are in an environment where you see people that have it less than you, that will humble you real quick. You will know that your problems are like this. Start something new. Okay? So either uh you start a new hobby; you maybe start, start drawing, even if you're not good at drawing, start drawing; uh, you start dancing; um, you do yoga, whatever you want, start something new. Because what is going to happen? You are changing your lifestyle when you start something new. If you change your lifestyle, you will automatically start to change different habits that you used to have. If you had a habit of constantly feeling sorry for yourself, with a change of lifestyle, you will let go of the need to constantly feel sorry for yourself 'cause now you are trying new things; you're doing, doing different things. You have to start to look for every good thing in every situation. That's why I tell you guys, when somebody leaves my life, enters, whatever, or like, I always think like, okay, it was not meant to be; I am being protected; God is protecting me from uh people or God, and let this person enter my life to teach me something. I really always look at the positive in every single thing. So another thing I want you to do is ask yourself, what is another uh way I can view my situation? Okay? So basically, there is this thing that you can do: try to literally, when you are in a situation of um, again, like self-pity or feeling sorry for yourself constantly, get out of your body, right? And look at yourself as an outsider; look at yourself in the way you're behaving when you're beating yourself up and look at yourself and see yourself doing that to yourself. How does that feel? Ask yourself, what advice would I give a loved one about the situation? Most of the times when we give a loved one um advice about the situation, we try to encourage them so much, and we say, "Hey, you'll get out of this; it'll get better," like, we, we lift them up, right? But when it's about us, no, we can't do that because it's weird; it's cringy; we need to be humbled; it's narcissistic; it's not—whatever works for you is good; whatever that is. If it, if it means looking yourself in the mirror and talking to yourself nicely, good. If it means hugging yourself, good. Literally, but do whatever you would do to a loved one in the same situation; do that to yourself. Remind yourself of the times that you have been able to get through tough situations, that you have been able to deal with problems. You guys are much stronger than you realize; like, literally, you wake up every day; you try every day so hard; you're even watching videos like these; this means you're trying; this means you're trying to evolve, and I think that should be applauded. You know, be proud of yourself; you have come such a long way. There were probably times in your life where you thought that you could not make it, and yet you still made it. Be proud of yourself for that; be so proud of yourself for that. Instead of saying, "Bad things always happen to me," start to realize that good things happen to you as well, you know? Make a list of people, circumstances, or situations that have, that have loved you, that have been there for you, that have actually made you happier and that, that actually made your life better, you know? Be grateful for them. So exchange your self-pity for gratitude. You can keep a gratitude journal. I have a gratitude journal; I write down the smallest things I'm grateful for; I write down the big things I accomplish; I write it down, and you know, it's so fun about it, like, like months later I open it again and I read it, like, um, uh, like it's like eight months ago or something like when I hit my 10,000 subscribers, I wrote it down: I hit 10,000 subscribers, you know? Um, but that's so joyful, and that makes me so happy to even read that and to realize like how blessed I really am. Say what you are grateful for. I, for example, uh, I always say this before I go to bed; I list every single thing I thank God for; every single thing. I have a bed to sleep in, food on the table, water—the smallest things—I thank God for, right? Um, and when I wake up, I started to do this five-minute little meditation of me just really grounding myself and then being like, "Thank you for waking me up; thank you for giving me good sleep; thank you for giving me a platform; thank you," I thank for literally everything I have because I'm blessed, and I know that I'm blessed. And yes, bad things happen, but the bad does not outweigh the good, and it will never outweigh the good because my mindset is right. Ask other people what they are grateful for, so you can strike up a whole conversation about gratefulness, which is so beautiful; like, you will feel the energies; it's really high; it's really good. Um, so ask what they're grateful for so you can maybe learn what you can be grateful about, you know? It's uh it's very beautiful. Teach your kids to be grateful; um, teach them to every single day say something that they're grateful for. I think it's beautiful to all the parents that watch me: teach them, say, "What are you grateful for today?" and they say something. It's so beautiful.

To end this video, I basically want to say justice for Mahsa Amini, a 22-year-old Iranian girl that died in custody because um she was not wearing her hijab properly. I am disgusted, disgusted, and uh lots of Iranian people have been cut off from the internet right now. It, it was reported that during uh the protest they have, there have been 60 people that have died already as well. I'm disgusted. This war on women needs to end. This is a war on women. You know why they always put women against each other? Because women united is way too powerful. Women that are all together is way too powerful. This situation is disgusting. I think we should all spread awareness for this, and I don't want this situation to give Islam a bad name because truly, if you guys knew the core of Islam and if you have learned about the core of literally Islam, the religion itself, it's a very spiritual and it's a very uh peaceful religion. But it's people with their misogynistic and sadistic ways that want to twist the religion that put dirt on the religion. This is a disgusting situation. Mahsa Amini deserves justice.