Transcription
We're on the west coast of the United States in the Delar Roza family. It's like being back in the 50s. Matt, the man of the house and a restaurant owner, is off to work.
"I'll be back later."
As always, he will be home late. His wife, Alexia, is a housewife.
"Mhm. Back over."
She looks after the house and their two children, Arlo and Archie.
"I just remember always wanting to be a mom and be married and kind of live this lifestyle for as long as I can remember. So, um, yeah, I'd say it's pretty close to what I envisioned for myself. And we'd love it, huh?"
At 27, the young mom has chosen to live according to gender roles.
"There you go."
"And be the perfect wife."
"Okay. Please don't judge my closet. Okay, let's see here. Okay, so this is like my favorite style of dress to wear. This is like my actual favorite one. And it's very comfortable just to wear around the house all day. But I do love this one. I like the collar. It's very preppy. Mega princess dress. It would be nice to live in a time where this was acceptable day wear cuz it does feel very pretty on. What are you doing?"
Alexia has been posting this way of life on her social networks almost daily for the last year and a half. The young woman is following a trend that is very much in vogue in the United States, the trad through these princess videos filmed behind the stove. She's gained over half a million followers on Instagram and Tik Tok. These videos earn her almost €20,000 a month.
"when it did and I got like my first brand deal, I was like, 'Wow, this is cool. You can actually make money doing this.' So, um, and like lets me continue to stay home and it's definitely worth it to do it on top of my other motherly duties. So, okay."
For several months now, dozens of young women like Alexia have been using the hashtag #wives on their social media platforms. Some of these women have become real stars. Like Nara Smith, who has 8 million subscribers. One of the pioneers of this movement, Estee Williams, became known for her very conservative views.
"The first one is I don't leave the house after dark. Number two, we don't do opposite sex friendship."
Beyond being simply a trend, #tradwives are now at the heart of a new social agenda.
"If we're going to win the culture war, you have to start now."
They are part of a much broader, more political movement, one which is dividing America. It's traditional, Christian, and very conservative.
"Who in this room will be voting for the first time for Donald Trump this election?"
In an already divided society, the #tradwives are stirring up America more than ever.
"Cook for your husband. Wash all his clothes and all his dishes. Wash all of those. Serve your husband."
"A You did it. You did it."
"You got flowers. Got flowers."
"Thanks."
In Florida, 24-year-old Soleie, mother of three young children, is one of these #trad who is causing a stir online.
"Here are three things you can do to help your marriage as a wife. Number one, have lots of sex. I think that's pretty self-explanatory. Number two, pray together. Couples that pray together stay together. It's literally statistically proven. And number three, submit to your husband. Oh, that's 23,000."
"Does that one have"
"23,000?"
"You have a lot of haters."
"Yeah, we do."
"I said it means I'm a doormat and he hates me and all women and he doesn't care about me. Right, Andre?"
"Obviously, I disagree with feminism."
Soleie met Andre when she was 18. Since then, her life has revolved around the needs of her husband and their children.
"Why did you do that?"
"You can see all charming from"
Andre manages his wife's social media profiles.
"Even though he works from home most of the time, he never helps with the household chores."
"His mom was a stay-at-home mom. Um, so that was like what he grew up with. And not perfect, but I would say I'm a good wife. I don't think I'm a bad wife, but am I a bad wife, Andre, or just a #trad wife? I'm just kidding. I didn't want someone to be having to have a wife that was going to go out and be like, you know, I come home and and I'm like, 'Okay, I'm expecting like dinner or like, you know, there's uh like the kids and stuff and she's like, 'Okay, I have to go do something and I have to go do it.' It's like I want to come home and have a nice meal with my family and have a the home be set up and the kids taken care of. That was definitely my dream was to have a wife that would be a stay-at-home wife and mom and not only do it, but do it with with excellence and do it um with a passion almost, you know, wanting to do it like this is what I want to do."
Andre and Soleie are religious. They apply what they call their biblical principles to their daily lives.
"Rule number one, female submission."
"The wife submitting. I basically like follow his lead and like try to help him build I guess the family that he wants."
"Is inflation as bad in uh France?"
"Oh, sleepyoom."
"Oh my goodness. Come here, mister."
"God says this is what submission is. He says uh you know husband, this is your role as a husband and this is what you're called to do, right? And then you move on and say to the to the wife, wife, this is your role as a wife. You are to submit to your husband. And so my job is to share that with her. And then her job is to submit to that as well. And then sometimes she may disagree, but yes. And in those circumstances, then yes, I'll be the the final Yeah. the final deciding factor."
"Oh, baby. Yeah. All right, Carlos, you must come eat."
"Come eat, buddy."
"Especially with people over. Did you"
"thank you for my wife for making the meals, taking care of everything. Um I pray that you make this a great day."
The other secret to a happy marriage according to them is to be sexually available to your spouse at all times.
"And so when we go on there and we say something that's controversial like you should be sexual sexually available for your husband or the same thing the husband should be sexually available for the wife. And that's a dirty word, but it's like it's a duty for me and it's a duty for her. And that's just what we believe because on the Bible."
"what do you Yeah, that's a great question."
"What you want?"
"Yeah. So, so actually actually what's funny about about that question is that when it comes to us, I think I am actually when I'm tired, I'm actually the one that's more opposed to when she's tired, she like she's like it's like open game. You're thinking, 'Oh, he's just so handsome. Oh my goodness. Cannot believe it.'"
Their lifestyle is totally behind typical modern society, which for years has tried to bring about greater equality between men and women. And yet the way of life demonstrated by Sole and Andre is now being emulated in San Antonio, Texas.
The Marriott Hotel has closed to the public to host one of the biggest events dedicated to the conservative youth.
"Maybe he believe that America is the greatest country in the world and you are privileged."
There are over 3,000 of them today from all over the country.
"Here their ideas are plain to see. Feminism is an abomination."
"Abortion is a crime. I guess he'll just pass on."
"I really Oh my gosh,"
"I did say it was over there."
Zara, Abby, and their three friends arrive from Oregon.
"It's a 30-hour drive from Texas."
"We love our country enough to want to fix it. So, we're going to be here."
"Yeah."
"I come to these things so I can educate myself, so therefore I can politely um educate others."
"Yeah, I agree. Like that's kind of why I'm here too."
The girls are aged between 17 and 19 and they already have a clear idea of the life they want to lead.
"Well, I just think that like working 9 to5 is so draining and exhausting and I really do want to have a family. uh like at least four women, but like I'm working every day on like preparing to like be a wife and like everything like that, like learning new recipes and also trying to like embrace my role as a woman. Um because like especially so I'm like submissive by nature because like it just it just works better that way."
They've each paid $100 to religiously listen to lectures from far right-wing leaders like Alex Clark.
"You and I both will be slandered by the left-wing media as radical extremists. Who knew radical extremists were so freaking cute?"
But the one they're all waiting for is Charlie Kirk.
"That was so good. I love"
This political activist is the organizer of the event. The funds raised here will go towards support for Donald Trump's campaign.
"We need strong men in America. We need strong men in America. You as young women leaders should demand that, should pray for that, and should expect that. Try to find a man that is able to provide for the family enough money, enough resources so that if you so choose, if you so choose, you could be a stay-at-home mom. If you so choose. Stay at home moms are heroes. And we need more stay-at-home moms in this country, not less. That means bad for everyone. You should"
For 30 minutes, Charlie Kirk urges the girls to take care of their homes, even telling them how many children to have.
"for the looming fertility crisis. If everyone here had seven children, I think that would be amazing."
The current presidential election pits two radically opposed groups in society against each other. To bring Donald Trump back into power, conservatives have recruited people who speak to young people.
"There we go. Use that one."
"You know, we have the biggest and the best events in the conservative movement. So yeah,"
Like this influencer Morgan McMichael.
"she's made a name for herself across the country thanks to her videos shot in American campuses where she mocks students who support the Democrats."
"We like the patriarchy cuz the patriarchy. Why? Because it makes it so much harder to exist and just like have equal rights and it just that"
"In the future you want to be a mom."
"Definitely. Yeah. Okay. You want to be a wife?"
"Yes. What does that look like for you if we don't like the patriarchy?"
Here, Morgan is in charge of shooting promotional videos.
"Hi guys. Could I ask you guys a quick question for an interview?"
"Emily, do we need men?"
"Yes, of course we need men."
"Why do we need men?"
"To keep the species going, first of all, and we need men so women can be women."
"This is so true. What do you think is the biggest issue facing our country right now?"
"Oh, I would say it's toxic femininity, not toxic masculinity."
"I agree. It's like feminism is the problem."
"Yeah. We're trying to push men out. We're trying to say we don't need men. Like we do it."
"We need men."
"Period. Period."
"We do."
"Um, last question. What is your message to Gen Z?"
"Oh, my message to Gen Z, be more like your grandparents. Be more like your grandparents. Like, do things the way that they did. to the men out there like court women like your grandpa courted your grandma. I just think we're losing that over time."
"Your calling is always going to be to be a mother, be a wife, and there's so many more greater things than living these superficial lives that are going to be unfulfilling. And at the end of the day, we are the side that is pro- making babies."
Clear-cut political views for a 24-year-old woman who is neither a mother nor married.
"See, I don't know what my life is going to look like. I know it's going to be different. My priorities are definitely going to change. I plan to homeschool my children in the future. There's no way I am trusting my future children to be in government, public schools. I just I do not trust our government at all."
Public institutions are considered too progressive by some American Republicans. So, here these young women and their future children are offered an alternative educational program.
"What you can do is use this QR code and get all of our resources for free. Thank you. So, we'd love to"
"So cool."
The Turning Point Academy isn't a school. It's a movement to spread virtuous education throughout the country.
"We're doing that in four different ways. So, those are Christian, conservative, um, collaborative, cost affordable schools. I have one of those."
"Are you going to do one of those or are we all so happy? Like personally, I left public school after co happened because, you know, it just was a totally different environment, but they just normalize just having sex with people and they just don't really care about purity at all. And there was like um a booth and they were giving out like condoms and everything and they all had like signs on them saying like gay is okay. And like there were pictures of like new people having sex. So that's why like I feel like homeschooling and and private schools are becoming more and more common because people don't want that in their they don't want their kids to learn that."
Zara and her friends know that tomorrow will be even more political.
They'll be back to listen to the star of the show, Lara Trump, the beautiful daughter of the Republican candidate. In Denver, Colorado, we showed excerpts from this conference to a 34-year-old woman. Enits was brought up in a devout Catholic family, married at a very young age, and was submissive to her husband before rejecting everything.
"They It's brainwashing. It is true brainwashing. If we are going to win the culture war, we have to start"
"Oh my god. to have a group of women screaming at home. But she's not at home. She's on stage telling all these women what to do. She's a [ __ ] hypocrite in her own right. She's not a traditional wife. She's not. And if she is, she's the worst kind. Especially seeing all the young girls. That's so so sad that these little girls don't get a chance to see anything that life can offer."
Enitsa has never been to one of these meetings, yet she knows what she's talking about. She was a #trad wife for over 10 years.
"I started out just like those girls. Very excited. So excited to learn how to cook, to do all the domestic things, to clean, and to keep the house so nice. And I was so proud. And I would even pull the refrigerator out and clean under the refrigerator. at my house was spotless. I was so excited and excited to start having kids."
Anita was 24 when she met her husband. She expected life to be a fairy tale.
"A look how innocent."
She gave birth to four children in six years.
"But nothing went according to the plan."
"Kids in a row. It was hard. It was just such a shitty life to I would wake up in the morning, make bread for the day because I knew and when the the last baby was born, you know how the babies wake you there was always like an early morning feed like 3 4:00 in the morning. So at that feed, I would feed the baby, put the baby down, and then since I was already up and couldn't fall asleep, that's when I would start the bread for the day with the yeast and all that. And every meal was made from scratch like an employee."
For 10 years, Anita lived cut off from the world without credit cards or friends.
"Yeah, not good memories."
And followed the rules imposed by her husband, just as her grandmother and mother, also #trad wives, had done before her.
"I thought I was doing the right thing. I was being a good girl. I was following the rules. I was doing everything that you're supposed to do. And I did it right. I didn't do it half fast. I did everything you're supposed to do. I was available to him even in my sleep for sex. I was available for food. I was available anything any of them needed. I was there and way that [ __ ] smile and you just when they realize like I don't have what the [ __ ] am I here for? What like I'm not happy."
So 5 years ago, Anita did the unthinkable for a #trad wife. She filed for divorce.
"Okay."
Since then, she's accused her ex-husband of putting her through hell.
"I'll have an iced coffee with oat milk, please."
Anita contacted Tia Zavarus. This lawyer has been defending traditional wives for several years. She knows all the ins and outs of these difficult separations.
"A lot of these women will be will be married to affluent men, but they are controlling all of the finances. So, there's money there. They just don't have access to it."
This financial dependence prevents many women from leaving home.
"That just because the court accepted it doesn't mean"
Sometimes the lawyer agrees to defend them free of charge.
"Typically those in a traditional wife uh situ role or situation aren't working or just working a little bit. So they know that their resources are limited. They're often isolated from their family members uh or their family members don't have the resources to help them or exhausted their own resources already in the first round of litigation."
"Yeah, he feels I'm insane and oh and I'm a drug addict and so he wants"
"Anita's in in particular uh one of the most complicated. When I met Ana, she had over I think it was over 130 filings, which is always an indication that there's been somebody has been very active in the process. And there's no reason to be having that many filings in a divorce. That's where they can continue to abuse once the other spouse has left them physically. So, they use it to intimidate them. They use it to show them that they're going to execute out on the threats that they've made to them."
Even if once they've left, these women regain a certain freedom.
"Oh, look."
The pressure continues for years and the anxiety grows with every face tof face meeting. This is still the case today. Anita is due to meet her children as part of their alternation custody agreement 3 km away from the meeting point and she's feeling the nerves.
"My stomach like gets in knots when I have to go and and then my heart is racing the whole time I'm waiting. I'm always wondering, are my kids going to be there? Is he going to bring the kids? There's been times that he didn't bring kids. He can see when I try to park far and he tries to come and come next to me and I'm like, 'Get away from me.' And he's always filming me. Like, he's got five years of videos of me sitting in my car doing nothing. It's just so weird."
Anita is so scared that she never gets out of the car. She parks as far away as possible from her husband's vehicle. He's already there.
"Oh, there's my kid over there."
"What car?"
"Oh, the"
"Oh, okay. I love you guys. I miss you. Is everybody okay? Is anybody hungry?"
"No."
"This is shy."
"I thought my hair was really pretty."
"It's so pretty. Oh, it feels so soft."
As much as possible, Anita continues to move forward, drawing a line under her former life. She even found love again a year ago.
"With Dennis, in a few days, they'll be moving in together. It's a way to rebuild her life and above all to prove to her daughters that another life is possible."
"I hope I cleared a little bit of path for them. I hope their life is a little bit easier than mine was."
"Mom, that's my heck. Well, that's that's even more freaking my friend because then they got the dawn early."
Despite their controversial positions on the role of women, strict conservatives are gaining popularity more and more so as a presidential election approaches. In San Antonio, it's the last day of the Conservative convention.
The whole room is waiting for a woman sent by the Republican candidate.
A member of his own family, Lara Trump, his daughter-in-law.
"have gotten crazy in this country right now and as the world right now. But because of what has happened, I believe this will be a landslide election for Donald Trump. And we got a whole group of people who never would have been able to vote for Donald Trump and he fought for this country. Who in this room will be voting for the first time for Donald Trump this election?"
The movement is undoubtedly growing because this year half of the young women in attendance are newly recruited activists. In 2020, 47% of white women voted for Donald Trump. This was not enough to get him into power. This time, with the help of the #tradwives movement, conservatives are hoping to achieve their goal, getting their candidate all the way to the White House.