Transcription
I already knew that I wanted to play for Scotland because my, what my grandpa, see me play for Scotland and walk out at Hampden Park was it. It gives, still gives me goosebumps now, even speaking about it, which is obviously for my father as well. Like them moments whenever I go up and see them and the smile on their face. Their life is literally around the grandchildren and for me to see that, really does make me happy.
We were lucky enough last year that we spent, um, a couple of hours in the company of Steve Clarke.
Yeah. He felt the biggest change that he'd implemented was changing the mentality.
He said, "We went from playing not to lose to playing with, uh, to win." I cannot speak highly enough of Steve Clarke. There was a time where I went in and I didn't realize it, but he was, he was, he called me in to speak to him and all the rest of it and we were sat down on the sofa like this and he said, "You just don't look happy." And I was like, "Really?" [music] cuz I am, like I actually am. And I said this to him. I was like, "I actually am." And he was like, "No, I can just see something in you where you, you might not be as smiley or you might not be as, not polite, but as outgoing and speaking to everyone as usual." And I was like, "Yeah, I'm obviously not happy cuz I'm not playing. That's probably the one thing that I can, I can think of." And he was like, "If you just go back to playing whenever you was 17, 18 years old with a smile on your face when you first got into the first team, not caring the world, waiting to see the difference." And he left it there. And I was like, I went back and spoke to my dad for a long time about it cuz I didn't think that there was much up. And there wasn't. There genuinely wasn't. But now look back at it. That's the first time in my career where I properly had to not play for a while. And it was difficult. Um, and I spoke to some loved ones and stuff like that. And [music] the next two games I scored four goals and I feel like I'm like more smiling. I've not taken it for granted and just enjoy it. [music]
So what did you do after Steve had said that?
I went up to my room and I had a real good think and I was like, I was like, "Is he right or is he trying to pull my leg in the Josephin where he's trying to like test you a little bit?" And he wasn't. And he was like, "Just play with a freedom and a smile on your face and still be aggressive though. Don't be like, like dipping your toe and stuff like that." And I was like, "Yeah, he's right." And I sat there and I thought subconsciously I'm not happy and that's not me. I always like to have a laugh and a joke and and smile and and try and enjoy football. And I wasn't at that stage. And don't know when he just reminded me that I was like, you know what, there's worse things in life that are happening. Just enjoy it.
So let's roll forwards 10 games time. Let's imagine you're back out the team again.
Mhm.
How would you react next time around if there's a spell on the sidelines?
The same way. The same way. You always have to, um, look at and think this is a process and,
no matter what happens, whether you're playing or you're not playing, it's fine. And just long as you keep doing your non-negotiables, right, that's that's all you can do.
And is there a difference for you? You know, like when I was thinking about this, when you play for Scotland, you're the underdog, you're David, that you wouldn't have bloodied the nose of some of the big nations that you're coming up against.
Is there a difference in the way that you approach
playing for both of those two teams?
No. I would say no. I would say in my opinion, we're as the players at Scotland, we're getting more and more to that stage where we're confident against anyone. And that comes down to Steve Clarke again with his standards, how he's holding the dressing room at halftime, the way he's relaying information. He's being firm. He's not saying, "Oh, we've qualified lads. Get the beers out." He's not doing that. He's saying, "We need the standards to be like this every single game." And that is ultimately the reason why we can, we feel like we can go and play against so-called better nations than us with what other people would say.
Can we have a really honest conversation then about self-doubt? What is your relationship with self-doubt?
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Everyone has that time where they think, "I might not have been as professional as I could have been there and we've got a game coming up. Can I still do it?" Can that and that keeps going around in your head thinking, "Can I keep performing at the level that I'm going?" And that is ultimately what fuels me, the self-doubt.
Does it?
Yeah. Because you always think every season you come back, "Am I the same athlete? Can I still score? Can I still potentially make an assist? Or can we still win trophies?" And that self-doubt is what drives you and pushes you to do more.
So, how often are you questioning yourself, your ability, your talent, your approach?
A lot more than what people would, more than what people think. They'll see some footballers going through an amazing time in their career where they're winning trophies, scoring loads of goals and stuff like that. They'll still have self-doubt in the brain thinking, "Next game, can I do it? I've scored a goal against Wolves. Can I score the next goal?" That was my first goal in the Premier League. And then I was like, "Yeah, I'm I'm delighted, but can I get another?" And that self-doubt comes in, then you start thinking, "No, no, if you do everything properly and take it step by step, yeah, of course I can."
What do you do to combat the self-doubt and use it as a fuel rather than as a break?
I've always had some notes that I've, I've taken. It'll just be taken from little bits of a manager might say this to you or he might say relay some information about, "Right, you've not tracked your runner in this game and like I feel like you're not quite yourself." So I'd always write down and then think, "Do you know what? He's right." And then it's always there as a reminder so you never forget stuff like that and then you end up building up a, a thing throughout your, your career and your football of things that are the non-negotiables for yourself. Like what defines me as a football player and I have to do them every single game.
What defines you as a football player that you have to do every single game?
My mentality. How I approach the game. Like if I was ever going into a game and I was a little bit soft and that's not me and I want to be one of the ones who's has the biggest output in the game. I want to be able to score goals. So, they're the things that I'm hoping that in, in the future can make me more of a, in my own mind. I don't need anyone else's appreciation or approval. It's just more for me. Like they're the non-negotiables that I want to, uh, have in my career for the rest of my career.
Do you know what? I'm, I'm not really a complex thinker into too much stuff like that. I just enjoy training every day. Like that can all be a bit of a mess in your brain. So just long as you know that you keep improving, that's ultimately honest process. As long as your process is right.
Yeah.
Then what more can you do?
Yeah. What more can you do? Because a lot of things in football are completely out of your control. Yeah.
The only thing that is in control is how you play.