Transcription
I was at the Establishment Hotel in Sydney, and I was sitting with the CNN reporter, an attractive woman. She said, "How do, how come I can't create the relationship that I want?" And I just was so over it. I just looked at her and I said, "Let me ask you a question. Would you go out with you?" Which is really the fundamental question.
So I have a couple theories about relationships that I think are really important, and I use the same exact principles with my life. First of all, I will never work in a relationship, and I don't think anybody should work in a relationship. I think if you're working in a relationship, something is not clicking, something is not right. But if you bring your best, and the person that you're with brings their best, and you celebrate your life together, then there's constructive interference, there's growth, there's energy.
If you're not at your best and you show up, more than likely you're going to pick someone or something apart. And it's better that you remove yourself for a period of time and get back into your heart and present yourself at your best. And so if you're not there and you need a mirror or reflection, then it's good to ask, "Am I missing something? Am I not seeing myself in some way?" And then there's a healthy conversation when you're invited. But if you're not invited to contribute your opinion, then it's better off that you don't, right?
So people always say, "I want a loving relationship," but what they really want is happiness. Really. So we do these meditations to create love in our lives. And it could be love in familiar relationships with your siblings, it could be with your parents, it could be with your friends, or it could be with a significant other.
And so if thoughts are the electrical charge in the quantum field, and feelings are the magnetic charge in the quantum field, and how you think and how you feel broadcasts an electromagnetic signature that influences every single atom in your life. The thought sends a signal out, and the feeling is the magnetic field that draws the event back to you, right? So if you're not in a place where you're in love with life or in love with yourself, or practicing diminishing your emotional reactions to certain people or conditions in your life, and you're living in anger or hostility or judgment or fear, and you want a loving relationship, there is no magnetic field for you to draw that to you.
And in fact, if you say to me, "Well, it's that person or that circumstance that's caused me to feel this way," then I would say, "I mean, that person or that circumstance is controlling the way you feel and the way you think. And anything that controls the way we feel and the way we think, we are victims to, right?"
So most people are unconsciously responding to the conditions in their environment, experiencing emotions that are derived from the hormones of stress. Those emotions cause us to feel separate from our dreams. They heighten our senses. So if we can't see them, it doesn't exist. The threat or the danger puts us in emergency mode. And we can think positively about the relationship we want. We could send the signal out into the field. We could have pictures. We could remind ourselves of what it is. But if you're not drawing the experience back to you because your response to the environment is actually weakening your organism, it's weakening your responses, actually weakening the body, then you will be, as a victim, more vulnerable to the conditions in your environment, whatever large or small. And I'm talking about microorganisms as well.
So if you wanted a true relationship where it was fundamentally based on this concept called love, now let's talk about that because we practice this a lot in the work that we do. If you could truly begin to practice trading those survival emotions every day for elevated emotions, and you practiced opening your heart, it's a skill that has to take place where you move out of survival.
So people say, "Well, I can't open my heart. I don't, I can't feel love." And I say, "Well, what do you practice feeling? Because whatever you practice feeling, you're feeling most of the time." And that feeling could be guilt, but you're so used to it, you wouldn't even know it's guilt. It just feels like you are. Most people practicing a feeling, are they just reacting to how they feel? Well, they're reacting to their external environment, what's happening, or they're reacting to some stray thought in their mind. And every thought produces a chemical. So if they have an unhappy thought, they feel unhappy. If they have a judgmental thought, it produces chemicals that makes you feel polarized, right?
So how much does one thought change your chemical body? Oh, that's an interesting question. So let's just put this on hold here. So the stronger the emotions that we feel from the problems and conditions in our life, the more altered we feel inside of us. The more we pay attention to what's causing it outside of us. So if you have an event in your life, an experience in your life that has a strong emotional charge to it, and you don't feel like your normal self, you feel this alarm system switch on, you're going to narrow your focus on the cause, and the brain is going to take a snapshot. And that's called a long-term memory, right?
So then what people don't know is that every time they think about that event, they're producing the same chemistry in their brain and body as if the event was occurring at that moment. In that moment. So the highly charged event is actually producing the emotion, and the body is so objective that it doesn't know the difference between the real experience that's creating the emotion and the emotion that the person is fabricating by thought alone. The body's believing it's so objective, it's believing it's in the same environmental experience.
So the strong, the highly charged emotional events, you, some people think of their ex, and the thought of that person makes them sick, makes them feel out of balance. So, and I, one image, one thought in their mind makes them feel out of bounds. So all you need is an image and an emotion, a thought and a feeling, a stimulus and a response, and you're conditioning your body emotionally into the past.
So now the memories, and this is just not in the brain now, it's in the body. Okay? So now that thought of that person is actually creating a response in the body that's consuming the body's energy for growth and repair, consuming the body's energy to create. Because in survival, it's not a time to create. In survival, it's time to run, fight, and hide. So the problem is, is that it becomes a subconscious program. It's no longer a conscious process. It now is a subconscious process. So now the body has been conditioned into resentment, into unhappiness, into fear, anxiety, whatever it is.
And so she's back to our concept of bringing love into your life. So you say to that person, "Okay, open your heart." And they're gonna say, "Are you kidding me? I was injured, I was hurt. I'm not gonna do that. Let me see your cards first, right?" Okay. And once I see your cards, then I'll pray, then I'll open up a little bit. So, so we protect this, right?
Now, in that state of survival, the research shows that the long-term effects of those stress hormones are pushing the genetic buttons that are creating disease. The body can't live in emergency mode for that period of time. So in a sense, the person is making themselves sick by thought alone. Their thoughts are making them sick, literally.
So the problem is, is now the body is conditioned into the past, and it's the mind. Now, once the body, body is the mind, the body becomes the mind emotionally. So now all of this energy is stored in the body, and now the person now has to leave their unhappiness and step out into the unknown. They have to get out of the familiar feelings that has defined them. So they'll say, "I can't really feel joy. I can't really feel love." And what they're really saying is, "I've been conditioning my body emotionally so much into the past that I can't feel anything else other than what I know."
Anger, resentment, pain, suffering. Psychology calls those normal human states of consciousness. Those are altered states of consciousness. So normal states of consciousness are these kind of negative feelings? No, I'm saying that those states of survival, people say anger, fear, those are normal things. No, those are, those are in survival. Those are altered states. Your survival chemicals are actually knocking your brain and body out of balance. You're out of balance in that moment. And if you keep doing that, the imbalance is now the new balance, and now you're altered emotionally.
So back to the concept of love. So the person can theoretically, intellectually, philosophically say, "Oh, I want this type of person. She's got to be this way. He's got to look this way. He's got to be like this." And they're basically saying, "I want something that represents all the things that I no longer want." Right? And so they're creating with their brain and mind, which is perfect. The problem is, is that if you can't feel the emotion of your future, your manifestation of love before it's made manifest, like people say, "Well, well, when my relationship happens, when I find Mr. Right, then I'm going to feel love." Waiting for the outer environment to change to take away this feeling of anger, resentment, emptiness. But they forgot that they create reality.
In other words, when it finally appears that I'm going to feel love, that's cause and effect. We're waiting for something to happen. If you're feeling the lack and the emptiness, then you're keeping your relationship at arm's length because you don't have the magnetic field to draw to you. So the emotions that come from these energy centers, the lower energy centers in our body, do have frequencies. There's chemistry involved, but they have a different agenda.
So now we ask the person, "Can you teach your body emotionally what the future will feel like before it's made manifest?" That means you can't wait for your relationship to feel love. You have to reverse that battleship and understand feeling love now is going to be the magnet. And if you can hold the vision of your future, a clear intention with a coherent brain, organize signals into the field, and you could actually crack this thing open and getting so present in the moment that you're not anticipating the next moment or trying to predict the future, and you're no longer romancing the emotions of your past, you can find that sweet spot of the generous present moment.
The familiar past is the known emotionally. The predictable future is the habituation of autopilot, being unconscious in programs. Those are both knowns. There's only one place where the unknown exists. That's the present moment. So if you could work with your body to the point that it trusts you enough to feel so safe that you have conquered it in a certain way that it could actually relax into the present moment, and it's not worried about what's going to happen next or what's going on around you, or that you need to eat, you need to pee, you need to move, you got beyond all your drives, and you're ready to create that moment where you're present.
If you could begin to work with your heart and start to breathe and start to practice feeling love, in the beginning, it would feel foolish. Or gratitude. "Why would I feel love if it hasn't happened?" Well, that's because you've been hypnotized into waiting for your world to change to feel the emotion from the experience. But according to the quantum model, your emotion ahead of the experience. When you combine that clear intention with the elevated emotion, and you feel love, your body's so objective that it's actually believing it's living in that future in the present moment. And your body now is beginning to change. You are beginning to change your biology to reflect what you're about to experience in your future.
So the stronger the love you feel, the more altered you feel inside of you. The more you're going to pay attention to that picture in your mind, stimulus, response, memory, emotion, thought, and feeling. But now you're remembering your future instead of remembering your past. And biologically, it's actually the same. How do we remember your future as opposed to remembering your past? Right. It's the same thing biologically. The body experiences the same way by thinking and imagining something that hasn't happened yet, but it will happen.
Okay, well, and imagining something vividly from the past that happened. Sometimes our brains trick ourselves in thinking it happened a different way, doesn't it? Yeah, but that's incidental. It's none of your business how it happened. In fact, I interpreted it exactly. It's your perception, right?
So then the stronger the emotion you feel from some outer experience in your life, the more altered you feel. The more the brain freezes the frame and takes a snapshot. Well, now you're freezing a frame in the outer environment. But if you're truly in the present moment, and you know exactly what you want, and you begin to teach your body emotion, start practicing opening that heart, it's amazing what happens.
The moment that heart begins to open, we've measured this so many times, Lewis, on a scan, on a real-time brain scan. When the heart moves into this kind of rhythm, when you're feeling frustration, when you're feeling impatient, when you're feeling resentment, you are stepping on the gas pedal and you're stepping on the brake at the same time. And the heart is pumping against the closed system, and it causes an erratic beat. It becomes incoherent, and energy literally leaves the heart. Now you no longer believe in your future. You can't put your heart into your future. You can't trust the outcome because there's no energy there. It's being used and consumed somewhere else. So energy is leaving the brain as well.
But once energy starts to move into the heart, we've seen this so many times, and it starts to beat in this rhythm, like banging a drum or dropping a pebble in water, pebble after pebble. The heart begins to create a wave of energy right to the brain, like taking a big sheet and going like that. And then all of a sudden, you see this wave, and the brain gets this rush of energy. And that change in brainwave patterns, that change, that wave is carrying information. And the person starts to get a very clear idea. They see their future very clearly now.
Now, that energy is causing them to move into very coherent alpha brainwave patterns, which is the state of creation. This is when you no longer hear the voice in your head that's talking to you, that you listen to and believe is the truth, "I'm not good enough." Yeah, whatever that is. That's called the default mode. It suppresses the default mode network. And the next thing you know, you start seeing in pictures and images. You start dreaming. And that's the imagination. That's the creative state. So now you start naturally imagining. The heart is the creative center. We've got to put our heart into our future. It better be open and activated.
So now when you start falling in love with your future, oxytocin is released in the brain and in the heart. Oxytocin signals nitric oxide. Nitric oxide signals another chemical called endothelial derived relaxing factor. And just like when your sexual organs get filled with blood because you're aroused, the same thing happens here. And literally, the arteries in the heart and lungs engorge, and now your heart feels full, and it's thumping in order, and you're in the present moment.
Now, once that happens and it's beating in rhythm, the heart produces an external magnetic field up to three meters wide. Now you're in survival, you're drawing from the field and turning into chemistry. When you get energy in the heart, it's causing a change in the brain, and all of a sudden, it's resetting the baseline for trauma. And now here you have a magnetic field. Now the heart is your magnet. It is the center of creation. And now that energy is frequency, and frequency carries information. And you can lay the thought of your new relationship on that energy because it's consistent with it. You cannot lay the thought of your new relationship in need. That's a different energy.
What do you mean in need? Well, if you're feeling needing, that's a different energy. What happens when you're in a need state as opposed to an attraction state? Well, you're in lack. So now you're trying, you're grasping, you're controlling, you're forcing, you're trying to predict, you're overthinking, overanalyzing. And that's how people live their relationships.
So then if you are going to prepare your brain and body for a new relationship, then you would have to become love completely every day. And that signal then that you're sending out into the field can carry the thought of your health, your wealth, your relationship, or whatever. But here's the cool part. When the heart is activated like that, and you feel so whole, so in love with life, so satisfied in the moment, so exuberant, that it's impossible to want. Now you're no longer in lack. Now you're so whole that you will magnetize wholeness in your life. The person who's the person that fits the mold energetically, that would be the same as you, and yet compliment you, so that the two can become one, right?
And then instead of in contrast, in union, you exchange information equal to that emotional state. In other words, people use each other to reaffirm their dependence on certain emotions. You have certain people you complain with about politics or whatever. They complain back about their lives, and you use each other to reaffirm some type of belief or something belief about life emotionally. You have emotional agreements on things. Well, that emotion is energy, and energy is frequency, and frequency carries information. So you share the same energy, you share the same information. But that's what people do in their lives.
But now in a true loving relationship, when you're truly in your heart, then the question is, what would love do in the relationship? And when your heart is open, it's no longer about you. It's about, "How I feel so amazing with you, I feel even more amazing. But without you, I'm still whole." And so now I'm no longer in need or lack. And so now when we get together, and our fields interfere, when they start interfering, now the amplitude gets higher, there's way more energy. And now, I mean, I'm all about all seven centers of the body lining up. All of them. And we're here in a body, let's enjoy it all, but come from love.
And so now your heart is so open that you can't do anything else but give. You feel so amazing, you're so happy with yourself, so happy with your life, so happy with what you have, you want other people to feel the same way. And you say, "Here, take that." And when you give, now guess what happens? You release more oxytocin, more nitric oxide, and more of those chemicals that cause the heart to swell even more. Then all of a sudden, your immune system gets stronger. And all of a sudden, your body starts feeling better. You start having more energy. And now the constructive interference between two people that are coming together in wholeness, and no longer dependence or lack or separation or need, is a different game.
So then what they do to protect, to nurture, to grow, to evolve that love is one of the most important things that they have. Not because they're doing it out of obligation or because they're married or whatever, it's just they can't not do it. The minute you have a relationship, you have an expectation. That expectation means that you want something. Love, closeness, intimacy, partnership, you know, business affiliation, you name it. It creates dependence. That dependence means that...