Transcription
[Music] [Music] She [Music] So, hey guys, thank you for joining us this evening for the Best of One Marriage Conference. We're highlighting two incredible messages for you tonight, from our very own Pastor Jensen Franklin, and then tomorrow night from Craig Rochelle of Life Church. Yeah, these are amazing opportunities to grow closer in your relationship. So, whether you've been married for years, or you just got engaged, press in. This is going to be an awesome time, and I believe God's going to bless your life. Absolutely. So, tell us in the chat where you're watching from. Grab your mate, take a seat back, and enjoy the Best of One Marriage Conference.
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I'm going to read a few scriptures because I think they're important, and then I'm just going to teach some principles that God has laid upon my heart, some thoughts that I want to share with you. Verse 3 of Philippians chapter 2: "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind, let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look not only to your own interests, but for the interest of others. Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus, who being in the form of God did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made himself of no reputation, taking on the form of a bondservant and coming in the likeness of man."
I tried to come up with a good title. I had one come to me down there while ago that I'm going to go with, and they don't even know it in the in the area that worries about this, but, but I'm going to call this "Making Love Last." The reason I'm going to call it "Making Love Last" is I just like to say that in church, "Making Love Last." So, it's kind of spiritual, but not all spiritual. How many of you like those kind of sermons? Yeah, I know you do. You a bunch of heathens. Turn to your neighbor and tell them, "My sermon," and emphasize the part that you like, "Making Love Last." Okay, we got it. You might not remember the sermon, but you got the title down.
Everybody wants their marriage to stay alive. Everybody has something in us, I believe, that that longs for more than buddies and hunting friends and girlfriends. If you're a girl, and shopping girls and girlfriends. Everybody wants it. But is it even possible to fall in love and stay in love and have a marriage that that lasts? That, that is it possible to to to come up with love? And how do you make love last? That's the issue that I want to talk about.
One of the things that you have to avoid is bitterness and resentment, because it sure will build up in your marriage. Bitterness and resentment comes when one person feels unfairly that they're bearing more of their responsibility, more of the responsibility in the relationship than the other person is. And bitterness and resentment begins to build up inside. When the weight of the relationship falls on one person's shoulder, and still instead of both of people's, both of the people's shoulders, then they start to feel there is a start of feeling neglected and bitter and resentful of that person. Really, what happens is we start keeping score. When bitterness and resentfulness set in, we start keeping score of how unfair that person is doing us. And what's funny is, men and women keep score differently.
Men get up in the morning, and because we got up in the morning and put our clothes on and got out of the bed, we give ourselves a thousand points right off the top. [Applause] And then the fact that we're going to bring a paycheck home, that's why we're doing that, that's another thousand points. And then on our way home, we remind ourselves that, "I didn't chase women today. I was faithful to my wife today." Give me another thousand points. We give ourselves points for everything. Took the garbage out, that's 5,000 points. I'm not a, I'm a pastor, I ought to get points for everything. And that would explain why we're totally comfortable sitting on the couch, contributing nothing when we get home from the job, because in our minds, we're already at 5,000 points. That we've been given this woman that we're living with, and we're just going to give our wives a chance to catch up with us. I mean, what's she been doing all day while I've been working so hard?
Now, here's the bad thing. And my wife is here. I know I'm on dangerous ground right now. So, pray. But it's going to get better. Ladies, but here, you know, then we've got women, and how they keep score. Here's how they keep score. You got up and put your clothes on and went to work, you get one point. You brought home a paycheck, you get one point. You didn't chase women, you stayed alive, but I'll give you one point. So, here, in our minds, we have 5,000 points. Men. And in the woman's mind, you've got three points. And what we need to understand as men is something that I want to, I want to emphasize to you, because when you understand that women keep score differently, this can change your life right here. This first point is a big one. And if you don't get nothing else out of this conference, it was worth your journey. What I'm about to share with you, because I know it's the truth.
So, she's resentful and bitter because you think you're doing so much, and she thinks you're not doing that much. But what I think we need to understand as men is, no matter what I do, I just get one point. Women don't see things big as is important as other things. The good news is, you make this work for you. If you're a man, the fact that small acts of kindness matter as much to women as big acts of kindness. A guy thinks, "I got to do something big." And if I do a few big things all year, birthday, anniversary, Valentine's, and Christmas, that's older holder. What's the problem? What you need to understand is, women care about single acts of kindness, and they'll give you one point for us for a simple act of kindness as they will a big act of kindness. So, every time that you do a, a simple act of kindness, a woman rings the bell. Guys, don't think that way. We think if we do the big things, that's enough. We think that will be enough. But here's how you make it work for you. You get up and you think that you're doing a lot, but your wife is resentful because she doesn't think you're doing a lot. To her, you suck. To her, you're a bum.
Now, let me show you how this is really crazy. They did a survey and they asked women, "Had you rather receive a dozen of roses on one day, or had you rather get 12 different single roses on different days?" And every time, the mass majority said, "I'd rather have the single roses on different days, knowing that he's showing that special, simple kindness, than the big thing of roses." Now, really, they want both. But what I'm saying to you, we all know that that's a given. They expect it on the big days. But it's one single rose. Now, watch this. Watch here's how you do it. You want to get the bell to ringing and getting some points on your side. Get up in the morning. Some morning soon, and she's brushing her teeth and she's getting ready, and you take 90 seconds of your time and you make the bed. And she walks out, and she cannot believe her eyes. [Applause]
And you know that monument of clothes that your dirty clothes that you're building in your bedroom, if you would pick that up and take it to the laundry room. [Applause] That's what's going off in her. After you eat a meal, you actually pick the plates up and take them and put them in the in the machine that cleans them, the dishwasher. I don't even know what it's called. It's there. I know it. I paid for it. It's there. I don't know what, I don't know how to turn it on. I don't know if you put Dove soap in it. I don't know. But I need to learn if I'm going to preach sermons like this. [Applause]
We'll keep moving. Now, here's the beauty of this story. Let's, let me teach the men something. It's not the big things, it's the little things to get the bell to ring and get the points to accumulate for women. So, you plan a date for next Friday, let's say you do that, and you get a babysitter, and you make the reservations, and you get the concert tickets, and you plan the night out, and then you surprise her. No, dummy. You know nothing about marriage. You don't surprise her. You tell her in advance. Why? Because the bell starts ringing, and you've done nothing. You've not done one thing, and she's already. But this is going to work for you. Watch, because she's a woman, she's going to tell her friends. She cannot keep it to herself. And she's going to call her friends, and she's going to tell it all over again. "Do you know what my man did for me? He made reservations. He did this. He did that. He's got it all lined up. He got a babysitter." And then she calls her sister, and then she calls her mom, and then she calls her best friend. And, and here's the double coupon bonus for men. Is not only are you going to be accumulating points, just as a secret joy thing to all men, you're taking points away from all the husbands that they're telling what you're doing. They're getting so furious at that deadbeat they're married to, and how they wish that they would be like you.
You'll know another way you can accumulate some points with your wife. Have a meaningful conversation with her. [Applause] Well, what is a meaningful conversation? Means you shut up and listen, mostly. That's what it means. And here's the key, without drifting away. I'm preaching to you men, you know I'm telling the truth. Without drifting, full attention. And as she's telling you the things that she's talking about, you actually talk back. "I can't believe they said that to you!" [Applause] Write this one down. They talk a little bit more, and then you ask this question, "How did that make you feel?" And don't drift. Stay right there.
Girls, do you know how men, or how you as a woman can accumulate points with your man? It's pretty simple. We, we're not that complicated. Making love last, just remember the title. This is how you accumulate points with men. [Applause] That's about it. That, and I will add one more, which is not as good, but it does matter to us. When you believe in him, when you, when you let that boy know you're, you're his number one fan, that you believe in him. I'm sorry, but we have, we have fragile egos, men. And when you let him know, you are, you are something else. What do you want? [Applause] We're that, we're that simple. We're that dumb. Sex and believe in him. We'll work ourselves silly. We'll hurt ourselves for that.
All right, let's keep moving. Can we, can we, can we talk about sex for a minute? In a good way. Because the Song of Solomon is pretty powerful. And just one word I want to get into your spirit, especially the men that are here, and it's the word exclusivity. In the Song of Solomon, he says this. He says, she says about her husband, "I belong to my love." Listen to these words. "And his desire is for me." This is so powerful. I'm telling you, as I was studying this, this really, I thought, boy, every man needs to get this and hear this over and over and over. It's one of the greatest keys to, to, to great sex in a marriage. Is his desire is for me. Because we live, we live in a generation like never before that's teaching people that if you want more passion in your sex life, then it's okay for men and women, if you watch porn together, to watch it together. More lust means better sex. Doesn't matter what you look at, just to get yourself revved up, you do it. But the powerful thing that she says is, he has an exclusive desire. Listen to her words again. "His desire is for me." "His desire is for me."
What's happening is, is, is because of the plague of pornography, we're trading in real women for fantasy. And when that begins to happen, something tragic begins to happen. And there is no woman on the earth, because pornography does two things to a marriage. What it does is, number one, it turns off the woman. Because if I ask any of the women that are here, how many of you ladies would like for your husband to look at porn and see a woman that he's lusting after, and then, and then pretend that you're that person? There's no woman in this place who would raise her hand and say, "I desire that." So, what does porn produce? Number one, it produces a turned-off woman. Number two, it reduces a diminished man. Why do you say that? Because when you begin to look at pornography, porn is like eating snacks all day long. It destroys your appetite for the real thing. And the more you do it, the more it destroys your appetite for the real thing. This is how it is. This is, this is not a preacher talking. This is a scientific, medical fact. Now, that porn is like eating snacks all day and destroying your appetite for real food. So, therefore, you're not interested in the real thing because you've been eating snacks all day, and yet it doesn't satisfy.
There's a difference between a man and a woman making love in holy matrimony and reaching an orgasm, and a man masturbating and having an ejection. There's a difference. What's that difference? The difference is, really, when you make love to your wife, you reach a peak physically. That endorphins are released into your bloodstream. They heat up your blood, literally. You get hot-blooded. Come on, I'll preach if y'all. Every cell in your body reaches over and grabs hands with another cell, and they all start singing together with her cells, the Hallelujah Chorus. And that's what making love is. Not looking at porn. The Bible said in the last days, men would be lovers of themselves more than lovers of God. And I might add, and women. A lot of women say, "I wish my husband would praise the Lord more and get into church more." Well, can I help you with that? Maybe one of the greatest things you could do, if you want your husband to praise the Lord more on Sunday, is put a smile on his face Saturday night. And I noticed there wasn't a lot of praise going on in this room. But I believe if you would go to work on what I'm preaching by in the morning, we could have a breakout, and the preacher wouldn't even get to preach. Because really, it's hard for sexually frustrated, sexually frustrated men to praise. You're brutal. It's hard for sexually frustrated men to praise the Lord. But if you really want him to praise him, give him something to be thankful for. [Applause]
Have you ever thought about how people get married and they're so in love? "I love you. I do. Promise to love you till death do we part. You're everything to me. I love you." And they really are in love. And they get married. And five years later, sometimes that long, sometimes much shorter, the person they hate more than any human being on the planet, I mean, more than a serial killer, more than anybody, is the very person they married. How's that happen? How do you fall in love with somebody, and then you actually, out of all the people on the planet, you hate them more than you hate anybody? I think it's because we need to understand something about marriage. Even domestic violence, they move from hate to hurting. "I want to hurt you. I don't just hate you. I know I loved you so much that my whole world was consumed by you when we first met. But now I've moved from loving you so much to not only do I hate you more than any person on this planet, but I want to hurt you." Now, you can actually put your fist or do something against that person. How does that happen?
Proverbs 4:23. The wisest man who ever lived, according to the Bible, other than Jesus, was Solomon. And Solomon says, "Above all else, above all else." Now, he's taught about everything you can imagine, and he's the smartest man in the world. And he says, "I'm telling you a secret now. Out of everything I've ever learned, as the smartest man in the world, above all else, guard your heart, for it determines the course of your life." What does that mean? That means when a man meets a woman, they fall in love. And let's face it, we all bring baggage with us into the marriage. We all see each other through the experiences of our own family, our parents' great marriage or lack thereof, and all kinds of issues. And sometimes, if there's been divorce, or there's been some kind of abuse, or something, all of those things, he brings all of those things, she brings. They fall in love. They, they love each other. They're now husband and wife. It's wonderful. It's good. And then they have an argument. And all of a sudden, all the stuff starts coming out. What happened? What happened was, the reason that you start hating that person and resenting that person is not always because that person is so bad. It's just they're bringing out what's in you. And that's why he said, "You got to guard your heart." Because some of the things that you guys are fighting over, it's not what you're really cause. What he did was on a level four offense out of a scale of zero to ten. But your reaction was a ten. And it's not what happens, it's what's in us when we get into conflict. And if you're not careful, you start blaming that person. "You're why I'm miserable. You're why I'm angry. You're why I'm bitter. You're why I don't trust. You're why I don't, I don't trust you. I don't trust you." All this. And it's really not that person. They just did a category four offense, and you're reacting with a ten because what's in you is coming out. And here's the deal. "I'm done with him. I'm gonna get me another one." Where here comes another little hot shot. I'll turn it around. There he is. There he is. He's just another man. And guess what's gonna happen? The same stuff that's in her, the same stuff that's in him, it's gonna come out. Get another marriage, it's gonna come out. That's why the Bible said, "Guard your heart with all diligence." Check your heart. Make sure sometimes you're not having a marriage problem, you're having a heart problem. It's what's in your heart. It's what's in your heart. Turn to somebody and say, "It's those jelly beans. It's not my fault."
Can I keep going a few minutes? So, so, so what are we going to do about it? I want to give you a principle that is just going to change your life. I, I, I want you to turn with me to First Corinthians chapter 13. And I'll just, for the sake of time, go to, go to verse 7. First Corinthians chapter 13. And I want you to see something with me. This is a powerful, powerful thing. Of course, I'll skip all the prelude. First Corinthians 13 is the love chapter. It's all about love. And he says something so powerful in First Corinthians 13 and 7. He said, "Love bears all things. Love." This is the one that, that's hard to believe. "Love believes all things." Supposed to believe in him that much. "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
What happens in our relationships is we start out with a tremendous expectation. "You promised me. You told me you would. You said you would. You, you committed that you would." Expectation. And in between expectation and the end result, which is behavior, is this little area right here called "believes all things." Supposed to be. And what we've got to learn is this. Expectation is, you know, "He promised me he would not be late. He promised me that he would be here at four o'clock." But what I'm looking at is it is 4:30, and he is not here. Now, what has to happen? What are you going to do with the gap between expectation and behavior? Is you have a choice. Listen carefully. You are supposed to believe the best, or you can assume the worst. And the reason that a lot of people get in arguments and get in fights is they have expectations, and the person lets them down. "I knew you wouldn't call him. I knew you wouldn't do it. I knew she wouldn't do it. She promised me, and she didn't." And this is the behavior. And you have to make a choice in your relationship. Paul said, "Love bears all things." Love creates space. Love creates an opportunity. Love does not assume the worst. "I bet he's talking to somebody about something stupid." In this gap between expectation and behavior, love does not assume the worst. "I knew he wouldn't take care of it. I was waiting on him to not take care of it so I could have more points to tell him how bad he is." Or vice versa. So I could tell her how bad she is. And we assume the worst instead of believe the best.
But what is powerful in a marriage? Paul said 2,000 years ago, "If you want some peace in your home, and somebody isn't living up to expectation, and the behavior is different, what would be so bad about believing the best?" "I know he's been busy. I know she's had a lot of things on her plate. I know they promised." But what we do is we create an opportunity. And when you believe the best instead of assume the worst, what you do is you cause that person, when you call, instead of being angry and furious at the fact that he didn't pick up the kids like he promised, and certainly I'm not saying you shouldn't have conversations and deal with things, but this is the key right here. That in the meantime, instead of brewing and being mad and angry, and he starts dreading the phone calls and afraid of the text, and vice versa, we believe the best. "I know he's busy." We give each other some space. This makes sense. You choose to believe the best instead of assume the worst. When you believe the best, it kind of goes like this, "Well, something really important must have come up." And you're believing the best, you're hoping for the best. But when you assume the worst, you say things like, "I have to do everything. And I knew that he was no good with money." Or whatever. And, and you assume the worst instead of believe the best. Do you tend to go this way when they don't live up to expectation, your husband or your wife? Or do you tend to go this way? Because that's the issue, isn't it? Because when you consistently go this way, you're destroying love in a marriage.
Well, what about them? There's certainly places where you have to correct and talk and get things together. But the atmosphere of the marriage has to be, "Believe the best, instead of assume the worst." It has to be. It has to be. If you want to make love that lasts. People who stay in love have the same gap all the time. They start out with expectation, and somebody lets them down. But the difference is, they believe the best. They believe the best. One writer said, people, he did a study of marriages, researched marriages, and he said that healthy marriages that have lasted 10 years or more have an unrealistic view. Their partner actually rated higher in every single category when they asked about them. And he concluded that love is blind. Listen to these words. And he said, the, the healthy marriages are marriages that are generous in their explanation of why their mate is not doing what they expected. They're generous in that good wording. They're generous in their explanation to themselves of why my mate let me down. They're generous. They believe the best, not assume the worst. I'm preaching better than you're letting on right now. Literally, love is blind. They find the most generous explanation. And I mean, I know, I know you can do that because that's exactly what you did when you started dating that person and fell in love with them. My God, everybody tried to tell you they weren't all that. And all you did was gave a generous explanation of, "I know, but you just don't know him like I know him." And you see, what were you doing? You were believing the best instead of assuming the worst. You chose to give a generous explanation. And the question is, do you now, years later, start off as soon as something happens, and these two come together, and all of a sudden, this is all you have? And all of a sudden, this is all you expect? And all of a sudden, you just start saying, "This is my life, and this is my marriage, and this is who he is, and this is going to never change." And let me tell you something about this. The deal is, no guy or no, no girl wants to disappoint you that loves you. This is, this is going to be a, this is going to be a strange thing to you, but the truth is, no, I'll speak for myself. I never want to let my wife down. Never have I done it intentionally, trying to hurt her or trying. And I know she hasn't me. She's not that kind of person. But what happens is, after you have a few of these, "expectation, behavior, he let me down again, she let me down again, here we go again," we start assuming the worst, and it just accumulates. But when you begin to believe the best, the miracle of this is, whatever this person is doing, they start moving in this direction because you've created a space, you've created positivity that they can begin to thrive and move in. So, do you assume the best, or do you go negative immediately when somebody doesn't measure up to your expectations?
I'm almost done. So, hang in there. "Love always protects. Love always trusts. Love always hopes. Love always perseveres." Do you quickly go to negative, or do you assume the best when that person doesn't meet the expectation that you had? The last thing we want to do is disappoint. But what happens, and it's so true, is we start creating that atmosphere. You create a margin when you believe the best.
Let me tell you this. In Philippians chapter 2, what I read at the beginning of this message, is one of the most beautiful patterns for marriage. And here it is. He said, "Let nothing be done in selfish ambition or vain conceit." In other words, I don't want competitiveness in the marriage. Let her talk, and quit interrupting her, and don't try to correct. Just let her tell it wrong. If she's telling it wrong. Then he says something powerful. "Rather in humility, no selfish ambition, no conceit, no acting like you're more important than your, than your, than your spouse. Rather in humility, value the other above yourself." Don't compete with them. Value them. They are Jesus. Paul wrote 2,000 years ago, "If you want to know how to love somebody, here's how you do it. Not with selfish ambition and conceit and competition, but rather in humility, value the other person above yourself. Treat them like they're more important than you are. The most important person in the room."
Have you ever been in a room where somebody famous was? Have you ever met somebody famous? Have you, have you ever been in the room where somebody who is a, like a, a household name? I have. And I'm going to tell you, it's an intimidating thing. And when there's somebody famous in the room, I'm talking about big name person, I promise you, you defer all attention to them. You don't interrupt them when they talk. You don't not notice them. You don't treat them bad. You don't overlook them. You don't walk in front of them. You don't do any of that because you vow, "My goodness, the most important person in the room is not me." Let me put it this way. Have you ever been to a wedding? Well, of course you have. You know what, listen to me carefully. The person that was most important, this is going to be mind-blowing to some of you, was not you. It was the bride. And when she walked in, nobody could care less. Nobody turned around. Nobody stood up. But when she walked in, every head. That's how we're supposed to value our spouse. You're the most important person in this room. Let me, let me finish this. One translation said, "Value, value others above yourself." One translation said, "with a sense of awe." When you first fell in love, he called, you'd say, "Oh, she kissed you. She was the most important thing in your world, in your life." I know you know how to do this. People who stay in love do it intentionally. They value her. They value him. The most important per. And, and I, I wish that I lived this. I wish that I did this as much as I need to do this. But I'm learning. And here's the thing that got me in this. Is Jesus. Then, then Paul, in a brilliant move, he moves from valuing one another. Then he says this in verse 4, "Not looking to your own interests, but to the interest of the other." Oh, now he's going to get practical. Now he's going to say, "The way that I know that you're valuing them is, is, is you're not just interested in what you're interested in, but your interest, their interest is your interest too." By intention, you express interest in the things they're interested in. Even. And that's hard because I'm interested in what I'm interested in. I am not interested in what you're interested in. I'm interested in. Welcome to marriage. You should have stayed single. Because marriage means I've got to be interested intentionally in what she's interested in. I, I just can't do that. I'm not going to fake. Well, when you fell in love, and he said, he said, "Hey, hey, I love the run. You want to go running? You like to run." "I love the run." You've never ran one quarter of a mile. You had to call your best friend and get a pair of tennis shoes. All you had was high heels. But you fell in love with. Come on now. You fell in love with him. And his interests were all. I can ask some people, "What does your husband do?" "Something on a computer." "I don't know." You don't even know what his world's like.
Now, here's the beauty of this. You did it when you were dating. You valued them. They were the most important person in the room. When she walked in the room, it was like a rock star walked into the room. Not only that, but I valued what she valued. "You want to do this? You want to go to the mall, Jensen?" When I met her, I loved the mall. I loved the mall. Come on, church. I'm preaching the truth. This is sacrifice. This is love. Real love.
Let me finish. Then Paul, in a brilliant move, he lays it out. And then in a brilliant move, he says, "Let me tell you who models this. Watch him now." Philippians 2 and 5. Jesus. When he was equal with God, did not consider equality with God to be taken advantage of. He never played the God card when he wanted a relationship with you and me. Listen now. He's the rock star. He's God. He's the most important person in the room. Jesus. And not one time when he wanted a relationship with you did he pull the God card out and say, "Hey, me and my disciples are here. Give us the front row. Give us the best table in the restaurant." He never did it. He humbled himself. He valued you so much that that even though he's the rock star, he's all about you. You're in the room, and he's all, "Oh my God about you, about me." He, he was equal with God. He was not less than the Father, less than the Holy. He was equal. And yet he came down. He humbled himself. He said, "I'd re, I opt all the glory that I can have and being right all the time. I could walk around all day, and I'm so holy, I could say, 'You're a sinner, and you're a sinner, and you're a sinner, and I'm right, and you're wrong, and I'm right, and you're wrong.'" And it had been exactly right. But he said, "I love you so much that I will opt being right all the time for a relationship with you. And I'll come down, listen, and I'll humble myself and die in obedience on the cross and show you how to value somebody else's interest and value somebody else in the room beside yourself and lay down your life so that you can value somebody else more than you value yourself." And Jesus is saying, "I want you to value your husband that way. I want you to value your wife that way. That when they're in the room, they're the rock star." [Music] They're the most important person in the world.
Jesus said, "I can have, I can have, I can be personally right." Listen carefully. I'm done. But listen. "I can be personally right all the time." And this is so important for like successful people, you know, build a big business, or pastors, and people who've had some level of success in their life. We think that that title and that glory makes us somehow greater than our mate because they don't get the credit that we get. But look at Jesus. That's what messed me up. Is look at my Jesus. He was equal with God. But he said, "It ain't about me in this room. It's about that leper over there. Ain't about me in this room. It's about that woman in adultery." Five times. But I love her. And boy, I see value in her. And I'm interested in her. And I know everybody should be making a big deal about me. But it's not about me. And then he says, "That's how I want you to love your husband. That's how I want you to love your wife." And you say, "Well, what if they don't give it back?" They may not. But when you do it, God's going to honor it, and it's going to change your heart. [Music]
Don't you want that kind of marriage? Can you imagine two people? We got to get there, Sharice. We haven't got there in 31 years, but we got to get there. 32 years. Jesus. Believe the best. Had a lot on me today. Stand to your feet all over the room. How many of you in this room would love to have that kind of relationship with your spouse? Let me see your hand. How many of you would love to value them more than any other? That when they come into the room, when they walk into the room, it's the most important person in the room. Wasn't that a great way to live? I want to live the next half of my life. I want us. I want to be that kind of person. I feel Jesus in this room tonight. Just if you feel comfortable, lift your hands up and say, "Lord, I give myself to you right now. I give myself to you right now. I need you, Lord. I need you to be that kind of man. I need you to be that kind of woman. Lord, I really want to be pure in my thought life. Lord, I really want the stuff in me that's not like you, that I've been blaming them for. I really want you to empty me out this weekend, and I want you to clean me up. And I really want to leave here with a love, with an unselfish love. I want to be brutal against selfishness in my life this weekend. And I want to leave here loving and serving my spouse." We've only got a few days. You know, number your days. You don't know how long you've got with that person. Start now. Start here. [Music]
Get that bell to ringing, not four times a year, but think that way. What can I do for the rock star this morning? What can I do for? How can I help her? What can I do? And it's not to get something back. It's truly, this is what I should be doing because out of all the people God gave me, her. And he gave you her. And he gave you him. I want you to join hands as a couple right now, and we'll pray for you all over this room. Gonna have a good time this weekend. I hope you got something out of that little message. It's all over the place, but something got in you. You know, when I first started preaching, this is the truth, Pat. I wanted to preach inspirational. I was an evangelist. Wild. I wanted to just fire a place up. Still do. That's still in me. But then when I became a pastor, I wanted to be informational. You know, I learned that I can't just go off inspiration. I got to have, I got to feed the flock. So I got to get information with inspiration. But now, at the age of 56, you know what I want more than anything? Every time I get on my knees, before I walk out somewhere in an office, and I get on my knees, and I say, "God, tonight, make me transformational." That when I speak, that it's not just blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but something, maybe in a spirit of what I say, more than what I say, let it get into somebody's spirit and transform homes, and transform marriages, and transform lives. Because you don't have to live and be mad and miserable and upset and angry. But God puts you together. The enemy wants to destroy you, destroy your marriage, and thereby have a clean slate to destroy your children. But you're here tonight, and I decree, no weapon formed against you is going to prosper. And I decree, you're going to believe all things more than you assume the worst. You're going to believe the best. Come on, throw your hands up and say, "Lord, help me to believe the best instead of assume the worst. Help me to create, oh God, that opportunity. Help me to love. Help me to value what she is interested in. He is interested in. Restore, refire our passion and our love and our desire to serve one another all over again." In Jesus' mighty name, and everybody said, "Amen." You.