Transcription
The Joe Rogan Experience. Oh, tell me a story once about how he had to take a [ __ ]. So he took a [ __ ] in the in the bathtub, and then he had to smoosh it with his foot to get it to go down the drain. And all wouldn't go down. It doesn't apply the toilet. He used to leave logs in detention. Come look at this. And he used to. No, no, his money was really big. It could be pushed him from [ __ ] all the way back there. So his jets would leave. They would lit. They would land on the beach in front of the water. They didn't land on the water. So they never really flushed. Palm, I guess they just see them. He sent me photos. Nobody taxed. He's texting like a [ __ ] ninth grader. Yeah, yeah, the monkey on this pictures. Everything, dude. My shits in Colombia from all the just the greasy, oily Banuelos and teacher. It was the consist for so many time today. And that it was this consistent, just probably helps. Let's laugh, sir. Like it was like if you fed a puppy too many treats, bro. Am I put my Marcia was a puppy? The one thing that happens to some dogs is when they're babies, they try to eat their [ __ ]. And so he was [ __ ] and trying to eat it at the same time. So he'd spin around in a circle and try to bite it as it was coming out of the hole while he was trying to eat it, right out. Yeah, tap right out of his ass. Now, that Joey told me one time that he was about [ __ ] in the shower. He's like, yeah, it's great. I did all the time. I was like, [ __ ]. She's in the shower. He's like, yeah, cuz the man is like, if it's like a log, I just [ __ ] and then I just toss it to the toilet paper. Can you miss missing that? He said that. I go, use, did you stop? That's so [ __ ] revolting. Did you see? I had to. My wife saw me do it one time. Living in the bathtub. I farted once in the business in the shower, and I [ __ ] all over the place. I was in that shower for like a half an hour. And then I squirt shampoo left and then I came back in just to get a fresh smell of it. Yeah, cuz you know, you don't. You know, all factory senses are weird because they don't detect smell. They detect changes in smell. That's right. So I people in Pennsylvania who lived near those cattle ranches, they'll smell it. They don't smell [ __ ] anymore, right? See, you go to like my parents used to live in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. Nice to go to dry. Drive to visit them from the city. Oh my god, it's a stretch. You drive. It's all just cattle ranches. Just horrible [ __ ] smell. I'll be there on the pretty boy. It smells like what they'll be happy there. It smells like death and [ __ ] because two things that are happening there. Slaughterhouses and [ __ ] and cow [ __ ]. Yeah, so you just get this look. That methane stuff that they talk about like being in contributed to greenhouse gases. That's [ __ ] legit. 100%. And apparently you can. They can do something about that if they just add a certain amount of seaweed to a cow's diet. Blew my mind. So smell is. It's the change in smell that you notice. There's not the smell, right? That's why people stink. Don't notice these things. That's also why when you smoke a joint, you don't notice it, but everybody else around you, they cover. Oh my god, you guys are high as [ __ ]. They can room one smell weed. What any of people can live it in people's homes? Oh, burns curry. It's not bad. Indian food tonight. I love Indian food. First time I ever had. I never had Indian food when I was in Russia. We got lap dances from these strippers, and they had all eaten Indian food. I'd never. I never smelled curry before. He's had only grow up in Florida. We didn't have Indian restaurants. And I lived in Tallahassee, and I had the smell was so disgusting. I was like, these are the most disgusting smelling women I've ever been with. Cut to five, probably 15 years later. I'm having dinner with my wife. First time I ever had Indian food. And they bring it. We walk in the restaurant. I go, blows my mind. It's just the change in smell that you know when you fart. Yeah, right. All senses are designed to detect changes. You're not your body. Your brain sends a signal to you that to be ready, man. That and that's why it doesn't affect you as much as someone else's. No, you're something. No, you're right. This [ __ ] is blowing my mind. Right? That's why people that smell don't know they smell. Well, there's also a thing about your farts that smell good to you because if there's something in your body, it's like there's something in your brain triggers like that you're having a relief. It's like there's a buildup and then you smell the smells like, ah, because it signifies the relief that you know that feeling means a fart. So when you're in your car and you fart and then you start wafting the smell up to you like, oh, not bad. In a pillow and take it to the face. Do you ever fart in your bed and your wife is in the bathroom? You're like, oh my god, I got a pillow out. Hey, do me a favor. That person. I know what I do. Is I do more theatrical stuff. Do things like I'll do like leg kicks as I fart or I'll pull my legs back like I'm changed my diaper composition. She doesn't like it at all. She doesn't like it at all. My mom today farted for like, like your mom did when you're in the kitchen. Yeah. He look to you to look at you. Need to take her to a doctor. I'm telling you. Today, today she broke it easily. And I gonna let you [ __ ] tell me so I can record it. She was give me 150 thousand dollars. Let's see this. Oh, yeah. Go, go, go for the beginning. Hold a hope. Before you play, were you just randomly filming her? You want? I ain't. It was coming. Were you? No, no. Here's what's happened. I I said something about. I go, yeah, you think you have one. And she didn't. She thought we were just like bantering. You think you have one fart? Yeah, yeah. And I and like as I saw her just turn, and I go, oh, I think she might. And you know, the beauty of these things is like, pull it out. And I just hit the camera from the lock screen. And then she didn't know. Let me hear this. This is the loop. The look on her face when she turns around, she sees that camera player. She's smiling right there. She's smiling anymore. Oh, and I made merch. Oh my god. She's Argentinian. She's Peruvian. That's a Larry. That's what I ever did. Is when the girls were little, like babies, I farted in a McDonald's cup and I put my hand over it. I went, I go, Scooby-Doo, scream, poison, babies. I go, girls, I just caught a butterfly. And they're like, what? To me once at the Irvine Improv. Oh, capture a fart in a cup. He let out like a, you know, it's like, you know what it's like hot death. Like when you don't feel warm, it's warm. And then you're like, there's also rottenness. This is like a rotten one, right? I was across like the lobby from him in the club. He like, like he signaled, like I gotta tell you something. Like, what? And I ran up and like, it just hit me like a [ __ ] like a brick to the face. Like it was, dude. I have. I have sometimes with my stomach. I told this to Tom a long time on our part to go on a podcast. I took his [ __ ] in Japan once. That was so bad. The guy in the stall next to me threw up. We were in Japan. I thought he was talking to me. I don't know what you're saying. No, no, Japanese dude. That's happened twice. It happened once in Denver. Oh, maybe we'll throw.