Transcription
This is the Alpha Male 2.0 podcast. We talk about how to date multiple attractive women long-term with no lying, cheating, or drama. I am Caleb Jones.
If you prefer the audio version of this podcast, you can go to alphamale20.com/podcast. I am on all the usual podcast platforms.
You guys really like when I tell stories from when I was a beta male [ __ ]. So, I'm going to give you another one today. You guys really like these and I think they actually do help, or else I would stop telling these stories. I think they do help cuz then you get you see, "Wow, if Caleb was that big of a [ __ ], he I wasn't nearly that bad. I could do even better than Caleb." Or, "Wow, he was just like me and he he did that." So, it's it increases my relatability. And it shows you that you can do this [ __ ] too.
So, this is a the story a story of when I was in my 20s, um early 20s, at my last job that I ever had. This is the early 1990s, working for Nike corporate headquarters. And this was the day I realized, or the event that first taught me that monogamy, if if not didn't work, was not what I was told it was. Monogamy was not this thing that you'll just get married and you're good to go. And monogamy was severely broken in society. I didn't know that up until this event with what happened in this scenario.
So, back in 1990 five 94 95, I was in my early 20s and um working at a full-time job at Nike corporate headquarters, and I did uh the IT support for the sales department. So, I was in the sales department building with the sales people, but I was one of the tech nerds who supported the sales staff, okay? Um and uh at this time I uh had just lost my virginity a few years prior. I was seeing a married woman who I lost my virginity to. Um the next podcast I do will be about that, or one of the one of the next few podcasts I do will be about my first relationship sexually with a woman who was a much older married woman. Hilarious. But anyway, so I was seeing her on a semi-regular basis, but I still had no idea what I was doing. I had never really dated anybody before. Um very naive. Um I was the oldest kid in my family, so I didn't have a big brother to teach me about the birds and the bees and how things really worked. I do have a big brother, but he didn't grow up with me. Half-brother, long story.
And so, what would happen um at this particular job was I was on a team of like five, six IT nerds, and once every 6 months, this is the cool part of this job, they would send us to this giant sales convention where all 600 sales reps for Nike across the world would go to this giant convention, this three, four, five-day sales convention where and it's Nike, so they had unlimited money. They rented these giant facilities and had these giant breakout sessions and parties and and we were invited because we had to be there to fix their laptops. So, they had all these, you know, laptops that were issued by Nike. And so, what they would do is between their training sessions, we had a big booth with a big room, and they would give us their laptop, we'd give them a little receipt, we would clean up their windows and clean up their errors and we'd have a tech Toshiba they were Toshiba laptops. We had a Toshiba technician there who would like put in new parts and warrant re-warranty the laptop and then we'd give it back, okay? Um so, we did that for four or five days. And so, and when we weren't doing that, we could just [ __ ] off and do all kinds of hilarious [ __ ]. A lot of people got drunk. Um these were sales people. So, sales people tend to be better looking than average. So, there were sales people and what was called merchandisers. So, we had the sales reps, that was about 300 of them, okay? Mostly in their 20s and 30s, some in their early 40s. It it skewed younger cuz the entire company of Nike skewed younger. And these were good-looking men and good-looking women, okay? Then, the other 200 were merchandisers. And merchandisers, that's a job title where that's when you have like a Nike stand in your shoe store or whatever [ __ ] or clothing store, the merchandiser girl comes in. She's always a girl in her early to mid-20s and they're always smoking hot. And they come in and they show you how to like manage the display cases and order more display cases and they're not sales people, but they manage the sales relationship, okay? And so, there was like mobs of hot chicks all over the place. Um [ __ ] they're and and they're all in their 20s and they're all hot. There were two of these girls in particular I had huge crushes on. I didn't do anything about it cuz I was a beta male puss. But I'm like, "Oh my god, they're so pretty." And oh [ __ ] and I would just fantasize about these two girls. I knew I'd never see them again cuz they lived one lived like in Atlanta and one lived in Chicago and I was going back to Portland, Oregon and yeah. So, anyway, um that was the crowd we had there, right?
What would happen? Now, to rewind, to give you the context of what I believed about monogamy, I thought, and this is going to sound funny, especially now today and especially when it's it's me saying this, I thought back in the mid-90s as a young guy in his 20s who had never dated before. I was just starting having sex. Um I thought that when two people got married, I really thought this. This is going to sound like I'm making a joke. I really believe this. Coming from a Catholic home, my mom was a former nun, all this crazy [ __ ]. Um I thought that when you got married, people didn't cheat. I I maybe with rare, rare, rare exception. I thought that cheating was just something that you saw on TV and in movies. That was what I thought. For what I don't know why I thought that. That's what I That's what I thought. I'm like, "Oh, no. When you get married, people don't cheat. But why would someone do that?" That's just That's just crazy. I mean, that's just something that you see on movies and TV shows cuz it's scandalous and who it makes you watch the TV show and blah. That's what I thought in my genius little little boy beta male brain. But did I get a [ __ ] education at these at this event?
So, this particular event. And then there were many more events where this happened. This is the first big event where I was like, "Oh my god." Several things occurred at this event. First thing was the we all had to have share our rooms cuz there were so many people, most people had to share room with another person of the same gender, okay? So, I had to share a room with one of my buddies and the sales people share a room with and what would happen the next day when all the IT nerds would reconvene, and it wasn't just the five of us, it was other IT people from other cities. So, it was like 10 people. Some of them were girls, most guys. They would all tell stories about the [ __ ] that went down the night before cuz I was a beta male introvert nerd. So, when the evening was done, I would go back to my hotel and read a book, go to sleep. I didn't go out and party. I didn't drink. Never drank before. I don't do drugs. Um didn't back then. So, I wasn't privy to all this craziness. Not yet. It's coming. So, uh >> [laughter] >> So, we would hear all these things that happened the night prior. So, one woman on my team was like, "Oh, yeah. Um I don't know how this conversation got started. She was like, "Yeah, my roommate, another female, offered me $50 to switch rooms with me so she could [ __ ] so-and-so, Joe. Joe was married and this woman was married. So, I'm like, "They're both married and they're both cheating? They're both cheating on both Are you What?" And then another guy would chirp in, "Oh, yeah. Uh I came home late and came home and Bob was [ __ ] Suzy. Bob was married, Suzy was married to other people. By the way, all these sales people merchandisers who were married were there by themselves. You didn't bring your spouse to this thing cuz it was an employee event only. So, this is not like a self-employed thing where business owners were there and they bring your spouse. No, these were all people there by themselves without their spouses, okay? This kept happening over and over and over and over. I'm like, "God damn. What the hell? Everybody's [ __ ] everybody." And that's what happened. Everybody [ __ ] everybody, especially the married people / the people who had monogamous girlfriends and boyfriends back home.
Now, the next thing that happened this trip that I thought was very interesting and I never forgot it. I don't think I've ever talked about this. May have mentioned this briefly. There would be these big parties where they'd rent out these giant facilities and you'd go and they'd have an open bar and people would dance and just get drunk as [ __ ] especially the final night, but even other nights. So, I went to two of them, I think. Um didn't stay all night, but I but my buddies wanted to go. I'm like, "Hey, let's go." I'm like, "All right." And all these mobs of good-looking people, many of them married to people who weren't there, they're all getting their drink on, they're all dancing, and I watched them dancing. I'm one of the, you know, the chodes. We used to call them chodes back in the PUA days. I'm one of the nerd chodes standing against the wall with my drink like this, like looking at people like, "Ooh, wow, this is crazy. Oh my god, I'm so nervous." Big beta puss. So, um but as I watched people, I would watch them dance. They wouldn't just dance. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. They're rubbing up against each other, they're grabbing each other's asses, they're grabbing each other's tits, women grabbing men's asses, women grabbing tits. Some people are making out or kind of making out. Dirty dancing, rubbing up against each others bodies. Wasn't just dancing. And there were people who were just dancing, sure, of course.
Now, what I noticed, because I knew a lot of these people, or at least I was aware of these people, I noticed something very, very interesting that I never forgot. What I noticed was you would have the group of people in the middle of the room dancing and slobbery all over each other, okay? Then you'd have a group of girls in the far corner. Just like you have the the chodes around the wall, the boys, the the nerds who are too nervous to dance. I was one of them, okay? But then you have a group of girls way over in the corner away from this mob, the sex mob. And what was fascinating was the girls who were way over in the corner and being super appropriate and not grabbing guys asses and not getting their tits grabbed and not drinking too much cuz they didn't want to get too drunk were the single girls. Damn near all the women in the middle of the room getting their asses grabbed and getting their tits grabbed and grabbing guys crotches were the married women. And some had serious long-term boyfriends at home. And their husbands weren't there. I said, "Well, that's interesting." Beta male dumbass not knowing anything. I said, "Well, wait a minute. This is the exact opposite of how it's supposed to be." I said at the time. The single girls should be the ones on the dance floor grabbing guys balls. Those should be the same The married women should be the appropriate ones over in the corner not drinking too much and staying the [ __ ] away from men. And you would see the drunk or confident, you know, sales guys who were married would go over and hit on the single girls. And hey, you want to go dance? Hey, come on. Hey, let's go here. And the single No, no, I'm fine, thank you. Very appropriate cuz they knew what would happen. I'm like, this doesn't make any sense. This is inverted. What the [ __ ]
Later that evening, this is so funny. I was in another position. There was like a little fence thing. I was sitting over this fencing and drinking my water. I don't drink alcohol. Woman sitting next to me, standing next to me. Um >> [clears throat] >> moderately cute, maybe a seven. A little older than me cuz I was a young guy. She was probably 30, I'm guessing. Had a little drink and she's doing this to the music. She's kind of dancing a little bit back and forth. And then she bumps me on purpose. She's Oh, I'm sorry. And she kind of looks at me. And then she starts dancing again. I'm like, "Oh, that's okay." Then she bumps me again. "Oh, oh, I'm so sorry." She touches my shoulder. "Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh, I'm so sorry." >> [laughter] >> Okay. So, if you don't know that woman language for I want you to [ __ ] me. Especially when a woman's been drinking a little bit. I could have banged her, no pro- These days, I mean, it would have been 10 seconds. Let's Let's go. But I was a beta male puss, almost a virgin. I'm all nervous. I'm like, "Uh, well, that's okay. So So, how's it going?" Nothing happened cuz I was a puss. Um I didn't know who this person was. Didn't know. Didn't know her. Didn't know if she was single, married. I didn't It didn't have the wherewithal to like look at a woman's wedding ring. I didn't know any of that stuff back then.
Next day, um we [clears throat] had these buses take us to the airport. Or was it the next day or a few days later? And she's on the bus and she's hungover as [ __ ]. Looks like she's like, "Whoa." I'm like, that's the girl who bumped me and was touching me and [ __ ]. That's So, I reach out I talk to the girl on my team who knows everybody. I said, "Hey, hey." I forgot her name. "Hey, Sally. You see that girl up there getting in the front with the with the She She had like, um, long dark hair. She's pretty. She's cute. See her? Yeah, yeah. Who Who What's her name? Oh, that's whatever, Shelby." I'm like, So, I asked her, "Is she married?" She was No, she's not married, but she's been living with a guy for like 3 years.
That trip changed my entire perspective on what monogamy is and what monogamy meant. And it's not like I didn't figure out monogamy didn't work >> [clears throat] >> until I got divorced at age 33. No, I had a very clear indication. It shattered my world in terms of what my views of marriage and monogamy were. When I got back and I was a little older, I started understanding why the divorce rate was so high cuz I knew the divorce rate was 50%. I knew that. But I didn't understand why. And um I started understanding, "Okay, now I get it. If the divorce rate is 50%, this completely matches everything I saw." And then I started thinking to myself like, "Well, maybe this is just sales people. Maybe this is just extroverted people. Maybe this is just people who skew a little little better looking. And people who are not sales people or people who are more introverted or people who are more average looking, they're faithful and they don't cheat." And complete horse [ __ ]. It's [ __ ] cuz I didn't know. But this is what happened. >> [laughter] >>
Then I would go on, you know, other events like this. Every 6 months they send us another event. They were usually smaller than this big one. And I'd see the same [ __ ]. The same [ __ ]. Same exact stuff. Married women, married guys, women with monogamous boyfriends, women getting women men with monogamous girlfriends all [ __ ] the [ __ ] out of each other. Most of the single people backing way off and being super appropriate, not [ __ ] and not getting drunk. The same pattern over again. And this was, you know, 30 years ago, right? It was a long time ago. I have been to many business conventions and things like that since then. I have seen the same patterns in different industries, uh, different associations, you know, construction events, um, National Speakers Association. I've seen them all. This same pattern repeated. Sometimes it wasn't quite overt depending on the nature of the gathering, but my god, it also really depended on if people brought their spouses. So, when people brought their spouses at many many business conventions where people bring their spouses, then everyone's of course on their best behavior. But the ones where they don't, there is an entire subset. I don't talk about these guys very often cuz they never want me to talk about this. There's an entire subset of men who use LinkedIn as a dating tool. And what these guys do is they use LinkedIn and they go to, um, business conventions and they bang all the married women. Or all the other women. They just bang and that's how they bang all their girls. They're like it's We call it business game. There are guys who do this. They're very on the down low. They never talk about it. They don't want me to talk about it, but they're out there. And they have this whole system where they go to the They go to like three, four, five business conventions a year and they just hook up with all these chicks. And they use LinkedIn and I don't know exactly how they do it. They just use I guess they just go to the the dance clubs and when there's open bar they, you know, they just use game and But that's how they do this. And the majority of the women they [ __ ] are women who are married. You have taught I mean maybe you don't know this. Back in the PUA days, the PUAs used to teach the easiest women to [ __ ] by far are married women who go on vacation without their husbands. By far. I mean, Neil, this is old school Neil Strauss stuff. He also, the PUAs back then, Mystery Style Neil Strauss, they would say that, um, they would if they would ask if they were married or not. And the women who [clears throat] had been married longer than 3 years, I remember reading this in The Game. The women who had been married longer than 3 years, he said they were always easier to [ __ ] than the women who were married in a new relationship or new marriage or the women who were totally single. He goes, "If she was at that bar or that club at 12:00 p.m. or 11:00 p.m. or 2:00 a.m. or and she's married and been married longer than 3 years, easy lay." Now, you might say, "Well, those are the women who will go to a Those are the married women who will go to a bar in a club. The good girls won't do that." There were plenty of good girls at these business conventions. And they weren't going out. They were just doing the normal [ __ ]. Not everybody was [ __ ] at these dance events. They were going to each other's rooms and planning all this out. It was a whole thing. And then we would get back at the office. We'd go back to Portland and we would talk for like 2 days about all the [ __ ] that was going on. It was crazy. >> [laughter] >>
Long-term monogamy does not work. If you think it works, you're delusional. I had to learn it the hard way by going through a divorce when I kind of knew in advance from that experience that monogamy, you know, is not a good bet anyway. That was my experience.