Transcription
You do currently have a California driver's license. You just don't have a physical copy on you at the moment. That's my preferred method of identification, and this is—that's a cat.
Caller: I'm currently identifying as a cat.
Fair enough. Uh, the information here in the tag, I'm assuming, belongs to you?
Boyfriend: Yeah.
Caller: That's so rude. I hope you know I'm recording.
Boyfriend: Well, it wasn't my intention to offend you, but he just identified as a cat, and you're wearing a Harris Walt t-shirt, so forgive me if I came to a conclusion that you guys are involved in some sort of a homosexual arrangement. I'm not mad that you think we're together, but you're using gendered language.
Boyfriend: Besides, I'm not his boyfriend. I'm his owner.
Caller: Okay. Well, look, we can do this the hard way if you like. I can have this car towed, cuz last I checked a cat is not licensed to operate a motor vehicle in the state of California. We can have animal control come get you, take you to a shelter where your owner can retrieve you for a fee of $70, after you're given the necessary immunizations, which do include a rabies shot, possibly even spay or neuter, whichever you prefer or identify with. Uh, is that what you guys want to do here? What should we do?
Boyfriend: I don't know. I don't have $70, sir.
Caller: I can also uh request that a mental health care professional come down here on scene and do an evaluation of you, because you're considering letting him take a rabies shot rather than just give me an ID, use some manner so I can give you your ticket and move along.