Transcription
For the last 10 years, I've had the eye-opening experience of working with the public in a way that not very many people get to. I've run a small service-based business that has taken me into the homes of over a thousand strangers, where I've had the opportunity to get to know them and their families and see how they live.
But the part that makes this the most interesting, at least to me, is that the majority of the people that I've worked for are at least upper middle class, if not just straight up objectively wealthy. And the things that I've learned from these experiences have dramatically affected the way that I view money, status, materialism, and honestly just life in general.
In this video, we're going to talk about the eight most interesting and juicy things that I've learned from working with rich people. Starting with number one, which is that status symbols don't indicate status. I think it's human nature to judge people and make assumptions about them, good and bad, but often the conclusions we jump to are wrong. It used to be that when I met someone who lived what I would call a bougie life, like for example, they had a big beautiful house with a pool and a couple luxury cars on the driveway and the newest and nicest of everything. I would assume, as most people probably would, that they're rich, right?
But over time, I started to realize that while you definitely can learn a lot about someone's wealth from their possessions, it's not usually in the way you think. Time after time, I would encounter people living in $3 million homes and driving $90,000 cars who apparently didn't have $500 in the bank because they would ask me for a payment plan when it came time to settle up or they'd ask me if they could pay me on Friday morning after they get paid.
At first, this confused me a lot, like how can someone live such an extravagant life and not have any money in the bank at all? But as I've come to realize, the answer is debt. Lots and lots and lots of debt. According to Experian, 85% of new cars purchased are financed. And with the average new car payment creeping up near $800 a month, you can only imagine what the payment looks like on a higher-end vehicle. Actually, you don't have to imagine cuz I did the math for you. A $90,000 car financed at 7% over 6 years, which is pretty typical, is over $1,500 a month. Do you know what else was $1,500 a month? The mortgage payment on my previous house.
When you consider the fact that most families nowadays have at least two vehicles, plus of course their mortgage, and they finance pretty much everything else as well, from their home renovations to even their smartphones. It's not hard to see how people earning modest incomes can give the appearance of being wealthy when in fact they're just swimming in debt, barely even making minimum payments on everything. And for that matter, at that rate, even someone making a lot of money could blow through it really quickly with all those payments and still be living paycheck to paycheck. They don't really own any of that stuff. The bank does.
On the flip side, I've met a ton of people who drive older, unimpressive cars and their houses are a lot more modest, and honestly, to look at them overall, you'd never really assume they have much. But these are typically the people who have money in the bank. They can afford to go on vacations and buy the things they like without worry. And unsurprisingly, they never hassle me about paying. While there are obviously exceptions, the majority of people flaunting status symbols are typically broke, largely because of those very status symbols. And something tells me that that's not the impression they meant to give.
But number two, your day job will not make you rich. Can you do well in a typical 9 to 5 job? For sure, there are plenty of professions that pay really well and can set you up to have a beautiful life if you manage your money wisely. It's a big if, by the way, but nearly all the people that I've met who are rich rich, like really rich rich, are business owners. Why is this the case? Because no matter what you do in most jobs, your income will be capped to some extent. Whether you are hourly or salaried or commissioned, there will ultimately be a limit to how much money you can earn based on what your field demands and also just based on how many hours you're able to work.
But when you own a business, there's often no ceiling to how much revenue you can generate, and your income is generally completely detached from your time input. Depending on the business, this can be in part because you have a team of staff doing most of the heavy lifting for you and collectively working far more hours than you could ever work on your own. But more importantly, when you have a regular job, you're selling your time. Whereas, when you have a business, you're selling a product or a service. And your time will always be finite. But most products and services are not. Then of course there's also the fact that business owners are able to expense a lot of things on their taxes that regular employees can't, but that's a story for another day.
I'm not suggesting that you need to start a business or that you should even aspire to be filthy rich. Ultimately, that's entirely up to you. But if becoming absurdly rich is something you do want, being a business owner is pretty much the only practical way to make it happen. Unless you happen to have a trust fund, that would be pretty sweet. On a serious note though, I've always believed that when it comes to your career and really your life overall, knowing what you want and having a specific plan to make it happen is the most important part. But even just figuring that all out can be really complicated. So, I want to thank Strawberry.me for sponsoring this video. Strawberry.me connects you with a certified career coach who can collaborate with you to not only figure out what your goals are, but more importantly to help you create a realistic, actionable plan so you can actually achieve them.
For me, the whole concept of work-life balance is something that I think about a lot. And I kind of drive myself crazy at times, flip-flopping back and forth on what I actually want in the long run, where I want to take my business, and just really what kind of life I want to live. So, I've been working with a coach on Strawberry.me, and it's honestly been incredible in helping me gain some direction. If you're looking to get some clarity on where you want to take your career, or really even if you're just working on some personal goals, Strawberry.me can match you with a coach who can help you reach your potential. To be clear, this isn't therapy. This isn't about mental health or your past. It's about your future. So, head over to strawberry.me/accordingtonicole or click the link below and use the promo code accordingtonicole to get started with a $50 credit towards your coaching today.
Okay. Number three, income is mostly irrelevant. I won't say that how much money you make is totally irrelevant because obviously it's not. The more money you make, the more options you have. But far more important than how much money you make is how you manage the money that you do make. You could make $300,000 a year, but if you're spending $300,000 a year, or hell, $350,000 a year, you're always going to be broke. You could make far less and wind up in a much better spot as long as you live below your means.
And in fact, doctors who are notoriously high earners are actually known for being terrible with money and often winding up living paycheck to paycheck. What sounds crazy, right? When people live paycheck to paycheck, they tend to believe that the issue is their income. And straight up, sometimes it is. If you're truly not making enough to get by, then that's fair enough. But a lot of the time, income is not the issue at all. Spending habits are. If money burns a hole in your pocket and you can't help but spend it the moment you get it, no increase in income will ever change that. And similarly, if you're someone who saves aggressively and is always very reluctant and anxious to spend money, I'm sorry to say that making more won't change that either. You won't just suddenly relax even if you get a huge pay raise. The way that we tend to view and interact with money is largely unrelated to how much we earn. It's far more related to our personal values and the way we were raised. So, if you want to change your spending habits, earning more is not the answer. Self-reflection is.
All right, for number four, we're going to get a little controversial here because for a long time I have aggressively refuted the idea that money doesn't buy happiness. I've argued that it's an asinine perspective to have and that really only someone who's rich and completely out of touch with reality could believe that. And in a lot of ways, I do still feel like that sort of. What I've learned over time is that money buys security. It buys stable housing, reliable transportation, healthcare, and most importantly, freedom. And all those things can absolutely contribute to your overall happiness. Especially if you're someone who's currently living a life devoid of that stability. When you're not sure how you're going to make rent this month or where your next meal is going to come from, then hell yeah, money can alleviate all that stress and make you much happier.
And it's very important, but it doesn't bring fulfillment. If you're fortunate enough to have all your basic needs met, it's still perfectly possible to have a lot of money and be extremely unhappy. And I've seen it happen a lot. Money doesn't give you friends. It doesn't heal trauma. It doesn't turn your family into the people that you wish they were. It doesn't cure self-hatred or low self-esteem. And if anything, it just gives you the ability to try to fill those holes with material items, which never works. Not only that, but in my experience, it seems to actually increase the prevalence of comparison and jealousy and insecurity because no matter how rich you are, there will always be someone who has more than you. And if you surround yourself with those people and constantly compare yourselves to them, you'll never be satisfied. You'll never be happy no matter how much you have.
I was shocked and I continue to be shocked every time I encounter someone who is objectively wealthy and has what seems to be a very nice life and the means to do whatever they want, but somehow they're miserable and they're bitter. And I've seen it happen more times than I can count because happiness is like a hamster wheel. You can run on it forever, but the goalposts will always move. True happiness is contentment, but most people aren't looking for that.
Number five, one stream of income is not enough. The average millionaire has seven streams of income. Seven. I've said this before, but whether or not you're a millionaire, I think having all your eggs in one basket by only having one source of income is a really risky game to play. If something ever happens to you, you get fired or laid off or injured and you can't work, all of a sudden you will be entirely without income. So really, everyone should have at least a few different sources of income. For rich people, theirs often include a regular job or the business they own, plus dividends from investments, potentially rental properties, side businesses, capital gains from assets, and a whole host of other things. Which is to say that if you encounter someone wealthy and think, "Damn, their job must pay a lot more than mine." It might, but also it's probably not the only way they make money.
If you're a normal person who can't just go out tomorrow and buy rental properties or whatever, I feel you. You can still invest in the stock market to earn dividends, though. And you can even invest in REITs if you want a bite of real estate. Of course, you can also always get a side hustle. I've had at least one on the go pretty much my entire adult life. I just think that especially if you're a regular employee, allowing one person or one company or one entity of whatever sort to fully control your livelihood is incredibly dangerous. You got to diversify. If you can tell me why I shouldn't fire you without using the letter E, you can keep your job.
>> Okay, now we're getting really juicy. Number six, rich families are dysfunctional as [ __ ]. Let's be real. Adultery, addiction, abuse, gossip, drama, all these things are prevalent amongst people of all socioeconomic classes. It's kind of just part of the human experience. But the level of this that I have witnessed amongst wealthier people is something else. With money comes access to everything and anything. And with that often comes a feeling of power and ego and invincibility, a belief that you can do whatever you want and be immune to the consequences. I mean, look no further than our friends from the Coldplay concert last week.
I've met so many couples who clearly resent each other and make no effort to even try to hide it. Like, there's a complete lack of respect for one another. And really, it's quite sad. They stay together for financial reasons or for optics, but there's no love there. And even worse is when this extends to the kids. A lot of people in high-level careers are very busy. They work long hours. They travel year-round for work. And they have little time or energy for their families. More times than I can count, I've seen kids being raised almost exclusively by nannies who can't really be bothered to pay attention to them. I've seen pets who are left home alone all day every day. And parents who believe that they can make up for their absence just by buying their kids some toys or whatever. Spoiler alert, that doesn't work.
The result of this is kids who have no manners and no boundaries because they've never been supervised or taught anything. They're often developmentally stunted because their parents aren't around to help them learn to do basic things like read or tie their shoes or ride a bike. I've seen 5-year-olds who are still in diapers. I've seen 9-year-olds who can barely read and have terrible grammar. And I've seen 12 and 13-year-olds who are using drugs and telling adults to [ __ ] off. So yeah, it's not very good. Like I said, I know these problems can exist even amongst lower-income families, but in my experience, it just seems that many high-income earners become so fixated on their careers and on making money that everything else is kind of just an afterthought. And to be totally clear, I don't think there's anything wrong with being career-obsessed if that's what makes you happy. But if you aren't willing and able to invest time into your family, don't have one.
Number seven, nepotism is rampant. There's a phrase that gets thrown around a lot nowadays, generational wealth. Let me tell you, it's a thing. All right. From time to time, I'll meet someone around my age, give or take a few years, and be astonished at the life they're living. Like, honestly, I think I'm doing pretty well. I have a good job. I have a nice place to live, a paid-for car, and the means to afford the things that are important to me. So, what else could I really want, right? Well, then I meet people who are not much older than me, if at all, who have houses so much bigger than mine and so much nicer than mine and in particular in far more expensive areas than where I live. They have every gadget you could think of. They have cleaners and landscapers and all that stuff. And honestly, I am not jealous at all. I'm totally happy with what I have. But it just perplexes me, or at least it used to perplex me how someone could afford all of that in their late 20s or even their early to mid-30s.
Like I mentioned before, debt can absolutely play a huge role in this. In some cases, they're just financing everything and making minimum payments. But in the case of a house specifically, even if you have a huge mortgage, you still need to have a hefty down payment and the income to qualify for the mortgage. Turns out though, that the cheat code is nepotism.
>> My goodness, what an idea. Why didn't I think of that?
Usually, it involves a giant monetary gift from their parents, hundreds of thousands of dollars gifted to them for a down payment, or sometimes their parents just straight up buy them a house outright and let them pay it back interest-free, meaning that they don't even need to qualify for a mortgage, and they save hundreds of thousands of dollars on interest over time. And as if that's not enough, sometimes in addition to all of this, they're given a high salary position in a company their parents own. And listen, I don't say any of this to knock anyone. If you're fortunate enough to be born into wealth and your parents have the means to help make your life easier and better, have at it. Genuinely, no hate at all. But for the rest of us, I think it's really important to understand how shockingly common this is, even though no one's really talking about it. And keep it in mind if you tend to compare yourself to others. Some people were born on third base while we're all just trying to figure out how they hit a triple. And that is the only sports analogy I will ever use because I don't know [ __ ] about sports and I actually stole that reference from an Archel song.
And finally, let's talk about something that drives me absolutely crazy. There is an incompetence epidemic happening. I talked about this more in depth in a video I made a few weeks back called "Why Stupid People Become Successful." I'll leave a link to it below. But to my absolute bewilderment, I have come to notice a pattern where in many instances, the richer someone is, the more incompetent they seem to be. Obviously, this doesn't apply to everyone. None of the things we've discussed in this video apply to everyone, but there's absolutely some sort of correlation here. My theory, which is just my theory, has two angles. Number one being that often wealthy people hyperfixate on one niche, one skill that ultimately earns them money. And they become so narrow-sighted that they fail to develop broader life skills. And part two is that because they're wealthy, they have no reason to try to do most things on their own. They can hire out pretty much everything. And sometimes they even believe that common day-to-day tasks are beneath them. So they never learn to do anything. They outsource absolutely everything from cleaners and landscapers to nannies and dog walkers and meal delivery and tiny home repairs.
I've seen people hire someone to clean their barbecue, to vacuum out their dryer vent which takes like 2 minutes. I've seen them hire someone to put four screws into a falling fence board, to organize their basement for them. Hell, I know someone who paid by the pound to have extra bricks taken out of their garage. And I think that the craziest one I've ever seen is hiring somebody who comes in the evening, takes your car, fills it with gas, and brings it back so that you have a full tank in the morning. The result of this is accountants and investment bankers and lawyers and doctors and all sorts of other highly educated, high-income people who seemingly can't do anything for themselves, and specifically whose egos can't handle the fact that they can't do anything for themselves. I've seen an adult woman reduced to tears when something sticky spilled inside her fridge and she had to clean it up. And recently, this is a funny one, I saw a grown man throw a full-on screaming, swearing temper tantrum while trying to install a baby gate in his house before throwing it on the ground and just like storming off. I found it pretty funny, but uh I don't think his wife did.
Like I said, my intention with this video is not just to paint everyone with one broad brushstroke. Of course, there are all sorts of different people in all sorts of different situations, but these are my real-life observations from the last decade, and I find it all to be pretty amusing and interesting and educational. I think the main takeaway here is just that people tend to project images about themselves and their lives that are not necessarily the whole picture. Often there's a lot more to the story than you might assume, and that's why comparison will always be futile. But hey, as always, these are just my opinions and my observations, and I'm really curious to hear your thoughts on this. Let me know in the comments the craziest rich people [ __ ] you've ever seen or any experiences you've ever had. If you enjoyed this video, please go ahead and hit that like button. Make sure you subscribe. You can follow me on Instagram at according_2 Nicole. Don't forget to check out strawberry.me. The link is below. Use my promo code accordingtonicole. That's all I got for you guys in this one. Take care and I'll see you next week.