Transcription
Ah, so listen. So, so check it out. Look, this is just because I want to keep reverence in the room. I think the way you keep him his presence here, listen, the way you keep his presence is in reverence. So, I'm I I I just need everybody to take it serious. So, this is this is just what's going to happen. I'm just telling you upfront, not because what I'm going to say is important. The word that I read is going to be important, but if you if you got to have a conversation or your phone is just go just go outside. It's okay. Uh that's just what it is. Uh I I say that because uh man, I I feel the weight of what God gave me this morning. In fact, whenever I I I read the scripture that I'm about to read, all I saw was his body being abused again and again and again and again. And I think that we don't understand that. I don't think that there's uh in a way we we don't have a full understanding of what had to be endured. uh the fact that scripture says mar beyond any man and and sometimes I lose sight of that, right? I have this really uh neat version of Jesus uh that's white uh and got a beard and like a you know like a cloak kind of and in my mind and that's just me being honest, right? If I it's just a very tidy version, but that's not the Jesus that saved me. It was the one that was marred beyond any man.
>> So I'm going to pray for us real quick. Father God, I thank you, Lord God, for uh for everyone in this room. I thank you for everything that you're doing in this place. Lord God, I just ask that you let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable and pleasing to you, my rock and my redeemer. Uh making all of us a pure heart and a right spirit. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
>> So, I'm just going to read I'm going to read some of the words that Jesus spoke uh and and and then go where where I feel like he's led me. So in uh Matthew 21:33, it's the parable of the tenants. It says, "Listen to it." Jesus said, "Listen to another parable. There was a landowner who planted a vineyard. He put a wall around it, dug a wine press in it, and built a watchtowwer. Then he rented the vineyard to some farmers and moved to another place. When the harvest time approached, he sent his servants to the tenants to collect its fruit. The tenants seized his servants. They beat one, killed another, and stoned a third. Then he sent other servants to them more than the first time and the tenants treated them the same way. La last of all he sent his own son to them. They will respect my son, he said. But when the tenants saw the son, they said to each other, this is the heir. Come, let's kill him and take his inheritance. So they took him and threw him out of the vineyard and killed him. Therefore, when the owner of the vineyard when the owner of the vineyard, therefore, when the owner of the vineyard comes, what will he do to those tenants? He will bring those wretches to a wicked a wretched end, they replied. And he will rent he will rent the vineyard to other tenants who will give his share of the crop at harvest time. Jesus said to them, "Have you never read the scriptures? The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone. The Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes. Therefore, I tell you that the kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people who will produce its fruit. Anyone who falls on this stone will be broke into pieces. Anyone on whom it falls will be crushed." When the chief priests and the Pharisees heard Jesus parables, they knew he was talking about them. They looked for a way to arrest him. But they were afraid of the crowd because the people held that he was a prophet.
Uh and how how many times does grace put us in the position of the Pharisee? You know, this is the what what God told me uh this weekend is he said, "Stop talking about anything else except for sin, repent, repentance, and restoration. Don't bring nothing else. Bring it back to the simplicity of the gospel. Call out sin, teach what repentance is, and then teach what restoration looks like. And then he took me this scripture. I had a whole bunch of really cool scriptures to support what he had told me to talk about. But for some reason, he took me here. And then when I got done reading this this morning, all I could see was him being crucified again and again and again. And what brought to what got brought to my attention was this. Every time I've said, "Forgive me, God. Forgive me, God. Forgive me, God. Even before I do something I know that I'm not supposed to do, I say, "Forgive me, God." And I keep pinning him to the cross again and again and again. And the reality is that's grace. That's grace. That's what it looks like. But at what point is the kingdom taken away? That's what he says. At what point does
So listen. So I there's no condemnation. I hope everybody in here, pretty much everybody, not everybody, but most everybody knows me well enough to know that there's no condemnation. I I am the chief sinner amongst us. I promise you that. Uh I think the reason why the call on my life has worked out is because the depth of everything that I had done before he in my sin met me at my filthiest, most disgusting, repulsive, reprobate moment and loved me so completely that it pulled me out of that place.
>> And so what I wanted this but this is the thing. What I had to come to understand is that I needed him. Whenever I encountered Christ January 19th, 2019 at two o'clock in the afternoon, he blew his breath in my face and listen and he showed me everything I'd ever done. You understand? He showed me all that I'd ever done. And then in the midst of that, he loved me. And in the midst of that, I acknowledged that that's who I was. And then he made me new. There was a place where I said that is who and I'm unworthy for this. And this for me in this scripture he's asking how many more times is he coming to you? How many more times is he going to come? How many more times is he gonna come and meet you in a place? The thing about the the the tenants of the farm is they were bearing fruit. You know, the the whole reason he went is cuz there was fruit. That's the whole reason he sent his servants. That's the whole reason he sent his son because there was fruit. And so, listen, how many of you have a little bit of fruit in your life, but still aren't walking in the fullness of what God's promised for you to do? How many of you are compromising? Listen, let's talk about sin. What is it? So, I was going to get pretty raw with my testimony tonight. And then there's some kids.
>> It's just the truth.
>> There there there's some truths in it because my testimony isn't just before Jesus. My testimony isn't just before Jesus. A big portion of it is after Jesus. See, I met Christ and he took away the big things. But then there was a process of surrender. There was a process of purification. There was a process to get it where I was no longer watching pornography. There was a process to where I was no longer masturbating. There was a process where I was no longer having sex outside of marriage. There was a process where I had to try to learn how not to lie. There was a process where I had to learn all of these things. And it was only through revelation of what the what that was in those moments that allowed me to do that. It was moments when I'm standing in my my shower and I'm about to encourage myself. It's as clean as I can get with it and I'm having to go to a specific place >> and God says, "That's what it means to do it in your heart." >> That's what it means to do in your heart. And he says, "Listen, anybody that's done this in their heart has done it." >> And the revelation of sin occurs. But check it out. I moved on it. I didn't move on from it. I moved on the resol revelation. This is the next thing that he did. He showed me where I would have to go to bring all of that to completion, which was way darker than where it starts. >> Way darker. way more perverse. This is stuff we don't even confess, right? Those places that we go. And he said, "If you can have victory, they'll have a victory." As a man, I'm a covering for my wife for our uh uh 13 kids, almost 17 grandkids. I'm a I'm a I'm a covering for them, right? I'm in position to cover them. And cover them from what? Does it mean they won't encounter sin? Does it mean they're not going to uh uh run into things where they have to make their own decisions? No. No, no, no, no. It means I cover and shield them from the demonic. That's what I cover them from. But if I compromise over here, guess who's uncovered? Everyone I'm supposed to cover? You. Every man in this program, those are our children. But y'all are our children. You even I don't care if you like that or not.
>> Not a bunch of little black babies now. Especially that one. Do you understand what I'm saying?
>> Like, listen, this isn't this isn't Listen, it's a that's what it is. Listen, you came in needing somewhere to go. You came in needing something to eat. You came in needing something different. You needed something to change. And if you didn't, why'd you come?
>> Listen, you're the prodal that returns. And we met you. We met you with a robe.
>> You get a ring.
>> You got meatloaf.
>> You understand?
>> Listen. So, so I would say this like how how what is it? What is it? If I'm coming to collect fruit, if the Lord is coming to see the fruit and you got some fruit, right? You're in position. You're in position. There's fruit from you being in this place this long. There's fruit from you showing up tonight. There's some fruit. But are you going to give it to him?
>> Are you going to give it to him? And I'm not talking about your dollars. I'm talking, listen, I'm talking about all those other places. He put it heavily on my heart to talk about hidden sin. Why? Cuz there's a lot in this room. It's just what it is. It's a lot in this room. And some of it, listen, some of it, the tactics of the enemy are so good because he's going to hit you mentally in places with that thoughts that aren't even yours. And then you're going to accept them as your own. And you're going to condemn yourself. And then you'll give yourself over to the fantasy. And then James with my own desires. You understand? And then you're going to give yourself over. And then there's going to be condemnation. And the beautiful thing about it is at any moment whenever I confess my sin, that's the part we hate. It's the only thing that keeps me safe. I tell everybody everything. I don't want to go back. And I found freedom. I got free air. And it feels different. It's a different type of error.
>> I can't explain it. It's just different. It's harder. It's harder outside of bondage when I I I know I'm in control of all my decisions. I want to talk about repentance real quick. Who Who can give me tell me what repentance is? And not anybody that's been in my class. Anybody? Repentance.
>> Who to what?
>> How how long were you in your addiction? How how many times you try to change mind?
>> Couldn't. Anybody else? I want to hear it. I want to hear what your definition of repentance is. Listen, somebody that's stuck in the same cycle of repenting. Somebody that keeps repenting and there's no change. I want to hear from that person. There's got to be somebody in this room that's there, right? You keep going to the throne for the exact same thing and you see no change in your life. Who is it? Nobody. Okay.
>> You said we can't answer. We've been in the club.
>> Fair enough.
>> Okay. So, all these church people have No, they're good. Good church folk. I I got a scripture for you church folk. Let me give you this one. Everybody's always heard about Jesus cursing the fig tree, right?
>> You ever read it in Mark? You ever read the version of that story in Mark? Let me read it to you real quick. It says, "The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry, seeing in the distance a fig tree and leaf." Right? What? Anybody not know what that means?
>> Everybody know what it means? Okay, it means this. It should have had fruit.
>> Check this out. But it says this. And the in full leaf he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves because it was not the season for figs. He saw what should have been something bearing fruit, but it was out of season. It wasn't being honest with itself. It was lying to itself. And so then he cursed it to never bear it. Cuz listen, you can't lie to yourself and pretend to bear fruit out of season. This is what by Revelation, whatever. Google us. Email Dell if you you disagree. What is it? Email Dell.
>> My email.
>> Yeah.
>> There you go. For the complaints.
>> Listen, check this out. There's a scripture that says, "In my weakness, his strength is made perfect." This is what repentance was for me. And this is just me being raw and real and honest. When I was still struggling with all those things and and I and the truth, I had to be honest with God. I want to do them.
>> Yeah.
>> That encouragement all alone is nice.
>> Physically, I'm listen I'm just being trying to be trying to keep it as as level as I can. There's certain things that that feel good or if not we wouldn't keep going back to them. There are certain things that are vomit, right? And in our mind, all we can remember is that at one point it was food.
>> And so we go back thinking it's food again and we're just eating vomit. I think that's in Proverbs, right? So I had to make this confession. God, I don't know how not to want it. You want to talk about repentance, right? I want to talk about repentance to change my mind. I liked it.
>> It felt good. It's all I'd known my whole life. I didn't know how not to want it. There are certain things that are very appealing to the eye. How do I not want that? How do I not want it? So I had to say, Lord, I don't know how not to want it, but I want you. I don't know how not to. This is what I believe repentance is. Cuz the fruit of the spirit is self-control. So there was no way without him, in him, through him, and by him was I ever able to accomplish this on my own. But a surrendered state says, "Lord, I don't know how not to want it. Help me." And in a weakened, honest, transparent state that says, "I want it, but I want you."
>> We allow him to do what's impossible for me.
>> In our weakness, I don't know how not to.
>> It's It's humbling. Listen, cuz I'm trying to be a good Christian, right? I'm trying to be that one that's getting it right. The truth is, there's some things that I want. I like I enjoy losing my temper. Let me be real. I haven't done it in a long time. Y'all ain't even sitting now. This new group hadn't even seen it once. Oh, it's so good.
>> What?
>> To lose my temper.
>> Oh, yeah. I
>> But see, look, check this out. It says, "Don't sin in your anger."
>> Let me ask you a question. Can you get that angry and not sin? I don't think so either.
>> Cuz my heart says and my mind said to karate fighting instantly
>> and I'm winning. You're not winning. It feels good. I don't know how not to do that. But I started surrendering.
>> I read that his heart was gentle and lowly. And I don't understand that. But I'm like, "Okay, Lord, teach me how. Teach me how." Listen, there's the sin part is I have to be honest and open. This is what s who wants the fullness of what God has to offer. Honestly, listen. Then there needs to be a confession. There needs to be where you bring this and you lay it out no matter what it is. Boldly regardless of what anybody thinks. regardless cuz I want the fullness. I'm I want the fullness of what God has for me. And I was a dope fiend's dope like grimy dope to do dumb stuff. Listen, every time I drove for eight, well about two years about two years after I got clean, I would drive by storage units and start sweating still. I just wanted to go look at them. Just want to go dig through one. There might have been a coin. or two.
>> No methheads in here. Y'all don't know what I'm talking about.
>> You know what I'm talking about. It wasn't all about just the dope.
>> I had to learn how to do this. Scripture says, "Confess your sins one to another and pray that you may be healed." How can I pray for you if you're not confessing your sin? I talked about unity and and being together and being one. Man, it's got to be real. It can't be fake and passive. And I'm not talking about like Bible thump and crazy, but I am talking about the fullness of the stature of Christ Jesus to the fullness of what we're capable of being and enjoying and doing the the the the power to see the miraculous for those that we love so that they'll confess the name of Jesus. And he's waiting to pour it out. He's waiting for a holy bride. A pure bride. And it's so simple. You got to set your pride aside. That's the biggest one. Cuz I I don't like people knowing that I'm a sinner cuz then I'm less than. But I was a dope thing. You understand? Like who better to call than look, I was the worst of us. I say that not in boasting, but I really was was bad. Well, why would I care? What if I want the fullness of this freedom? I've experienced it. I've tasted it. And I want more of it. When he comes to see if there's fruit, I want him not only to be able to have fruit, for me to bear fruit in season and out of season, but I also want to give it willingly. I want to give it to him and present it. Present back to him what's his anyway. I don't want to forget that. I don't want to get far away from that. I want him to restore our hearts in the places we don't know, the places that are keeping us hindered and encumbered and at a distance. Make me a pure heart, oh God, and a right spirit.
>> You understand? Making me he has to do the way he does that is he exposes what doesn't look like him.
>> And the craziest thing is hanging on the cross as a beaten piece of meat is the fruit that he did it for. That bad fruit so that he can do something different, so that he can change something. Can you imagine walking into a room and not having to wonder what anybody's thinking? Not having to have a conversation or 10 before you ever go through the door. Anybody know what I'm talking about? To just be able to show up and be available and before I cross the threshold, say, "Lord, if there's anything someone needs, Lord God, speak to me. Speak to me. I want that. I don't want anything to hinder it because I know what free air is. And the whole purpose once you find free air is to share it. That's it. So simple we can miss it. Christ hung on the cross for us so that we have access to him to tend the garden. to tin the garden. What if it's right now? What if it's What if it's right now? What if what if this is the last chance? You understand? What if it is right now? What if it is that he wants to who's been going through a season, a difficult season? What if right now listen some you may not have anything deep and dark. It may be something little. It may be just a small resentment. It may be just something tiny because I haven't been treated fairly. Or it could be something big. It could be sexual sin. It could be immorality. Who cares? What if right now you get to lay it out and be healed? What if that weight that keeps you exhausted is lifted from your shoulders? And it's only you that can lay it at his feet so that you take up his yoke. You understand? So you can restore your heart. So that you can enter his rest today. Who wants to enter it? Who wants rest?
>> Who could use some rest?
>> Look, Hebrews 4. I can enter his rest today. I have to unbburden myself. You get it? Listen. And everyone here is a sinner. It's what qualifies us for the kingdom. You get it? Every single person here, we get hit with the same things. Every single one of us. I want more freedom. I want I want to see more people walk in freedom. Man, I have a desire for that. We buried so many guys. We're starting to marry that many guys. I just want them to experience the fullness and then by their life lived share that freedom with others. Do you understand? So, we're going to worship real quick. This is what I'll say. If you I So, I need uh I need a couple women. Uh Lupy, I know you got you got Suggie. Uh Christina and Heather, will y'all come up here? And then I need a few of the staff to come up here. And this is what I want to do. Look, check it out. Because what if it's right now? What if there's this threshold I get to step through tonight where my breakthrough where whatever it's always a breakthrough. Listen, it's always a breakthrough that we're waiting on. I need some mail staff. Uh because what I want to do is I want to be able to have a moment. The simplicity of the gospel is I'm a sinner. He died for me. He rose, reconciled me to the father, and left me with the Holy Ghost. I want you to enter into that place. And so what I'm going to encourage is listen uh if you need to if you need to come confess your sins one to another and pray that you may be healed. It's that simple. Can you believe that it would be that simple? Because it it is. I'm a living witness. It's that simple. So, I'm just inviting anybody that want that needs those prayers that needs those specific prayers that needs to unbburden yourself. The hidden things, the things that make me feel not connected and lack peace where my pockets always empty even though I work 60 hours a week. those small things of sin that hinder and encourage encumber me from entering into the fullness of what God has for me. And so I just encourage you women, we got women up here. Men, I encourage you, we got men. We're just going to worship a little bit. So Dale, just lead us in a few songs. We're going to worship. You don't have to, but this is what I'll say is I want everything he promises me. And what if it's as simple as this? These