Transcription
How could you do this to me, Anna? You are my wife.
[music]
How could you sleep with my brother?
You're paying child support in the amount of $360 a month.
Yeah.
For a child you still don't know whether it's yours or not.
Exactly. I got served with paper saying I missed my court date and I was a father by default.
[music]
I work 85, 90 hours every two weeks. I bring home on a good check, I might hit 300.
[music]
He then said that he won the DNA test. Do you know that that's your kid? I will never give you a DNA test. That's not going to happen cuz I know. Of course not. He's asking for I will not go. I did my research. I will never ever give him a DNA test. You will need to take me to court.
You're signing this paper.
I'm not signing nothing. No, I'm not. I told you I'm not signing this.
Since she's been born.
This paper, I'm not signing. I'm not signing that.
Welcome to Masculine Dow.
That's right. The divorce has been officially finalized.
OH MY GOD. YES. OH MY GOD. I'M OFFICIALLY TOART.
HELLO. HELLO. You still there, Erica?
Oh my god.
I just need to go over a few more details on the divorce.
It's It's not all good news, but you might want to sit down.
The judge has ruled that you'll be the primary custodian of Jaquande and Raja.
I'm officially primary custodian of the kids.
What about the child support?
I thought you'd ask about that. So, the judge has ruled you'll be given a onetime payment of $500.
That's it.
I understand your frustration, but the DNA tests prove that they're not his kids.
Are you kidding me?
No, I'm not kidding you, Erica. NO.
STOP. ALL OF THIS FINANCIAL burden with my children is on me.
Well, they are your kids. And you have once said you're a boss [ __ ] and you don't need no man. So, it is only fair that you take care of the kids.
He doesn't have to pay nothing for it.
NO, NOT A SCENT.
NOTHING.
BUT, YOU WERE so happy before. What? What's changed?
Okay, maybe I'll give you a call back later. I'll just send over the bill. Just please pay that as soon as possible. Thanks, Erica.
She was celebrating the divorce until accountability showed up. Funny how "I don't need a man" turns into panic the second his wallet disappears, and they will all test on the seeds they sold.
You're signing this paper.
I'm not signing nothing. No, I'm not. I told you I'm not signing this.
Since she's been born.
This paper I'm not signing. I'm not signing that.
You want this is your this is her decision to get divorced. So why should I pay for her daughter that's not mine biologically? Whether you think whether you think I adopted her or not.
Yeah. Yeah. I took care of her 15 and we'll figure this out.
Okay. You might need thrown away 7 years of being in your throw years. You raised her.
This was your idea, not mine.
Raised her. We were together.
This is your idea, not mine.
You know what.
Was your idea to get divorced?
Look, we're not getting anywhere. Okay.
Let's just take 15 minutes to cool off and come.
How you don't want to take help me take care of Charlotte?
Yo, you being unprofessional.
How you don't want to help me take care of.
You're very unprofessional.
So, what am I supposed to tell? So, what am I supposed to tell her?
Tell her that we tell her.
Okay. My daughter completely.
Yes, I am. I'm closing a chapter in my life.
She keeps weaponizing emotion. What do I tell the child? Instead of addressing the core issue, you initiated the divorce. The child isn't biologically his. Yet, you still expect lifelong financial obligation.
Responsible for child support for all these years.
I have been homeless because of it. I can't pay rent. I can't do nothing. I don't have a life. Her mother had denied me a DNA test. So, why would I believe the child's mine? Why would I want to get involved with the child and come to find out years later that the child's not mine anyway? You truly felt like at that time your wife had been unfaithful to you and you asked for a DNA test. You were not granted it.
Yes, ma'am.
From that point on you were responsible for child support each and every month over the last 20some years and you've now just presented to the court. You are $146,918.51 in arrears.
And I look over my shoulder every day in fear of going to prison.
And then this cycle just kept continuing. Yes, ma'am. Because I can't even get my driver's license. I don't believe she is my child.
Mr. Dennis, you are not the father.
This is brutal. 20 years of payments, debt, fear of prison. And he wasn't even the father. Denying a DNA test while demanding child support is straight up injustice. And after all that, they still wanted a man to provide. Impossible.
What's this? I hear your mama said that you want a DNA test. Do you get a car?
No. Why do you want a DNA test for my child? So, you ain't going to get in the car.
What happened? Like, you said all this time that you did not need no DNA test. We've been in a relationship for 5 years and all of a sudden, I don't know what's going on, but all of a sudden, now you want a DNA test.
Hey, since you don't get in the car and talk to me, I'm going to be real with you. I don't think I just don't know. The baby is like so.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT? WHAT do you The baby is four [ __ ] days old. Like, what do you mean? Like, so you really want a DNA test for our baby? I didn't come out the womb like that. And.
It don't matter.
So, so, so tell me this. Like, do you think that I was cheating at all? Our whole relationship, we've been together five years. You always know where I'm at. I'm always at the house. If I do leave out the house, I'm with you. You honestly think I was cheating?
I don't think you was cheating. But what's wrong with me getting a DNA test?
Why do you need a DNA test?
I just want to know for a fact.
If you have nothing to hide, why does verification trigger outrage? Men are expected to sign up for 18 plus years of responsibility. Yet asking for proof gets treated like betrayal.
You do know for a fact.
I don't know for a fact.
You don't know for a fact that this your child?
I was the DNA test for it. No, I.
You don't know for a fact.
I don't know.
But we've been together for 5 years.
My mama DNA test just to be sure. Be clear.
Your mama wasn't in our relationship though. That's I feel like that's so disrespectful that you even want a DNA test for our child. We've been together for 5 years. Do you have anything to worry about?
You're literally talking about us getting married next year.
Now you cheat on me.
No, I have not.
So what you just did?
I'm not worried. You don't have to pay for it. I don't care.
I'm not worried about it. I just find it just so odd. All of a sudden now you're in the DNA test and all of a sudden you just questioning the baby.
Listen, I just.
Are you questioning our son?
I just want to know for sure. That's it.
So you questioning whether he's yours or not?
I just want to know for sure. That's it.
So you don't know for sure?
I don't. We've been together for 5 years.
No, I don't know. So, can you stop making this?
So, you don't know? All right.
That's how you feel.
Notice how she avoids the question and makes it about disrespect. That's emotional pressure. Men, asking for certainty shouldn't be shamed for wanting proof before lifelong responsibility. A baby daddy got promoted, so I appeal for more child support. He ordered a DNA test and my son failed. Oh [ __ ]. He put the results in my mailbox. I forgave myself for cheat. Whoa. I forgave myself for cheating, but he's being petty. He's [laughter] He's been my son's dad for eight years. No, he hasn't. Why ghost my child now? How to fix it? I mean, lady, you just you just answered that question yourself. Why ghost my child? Because it's your child, not his. Honestly, I don't think you should be looking a gift horse in the mouth. This man could have caused a scene. could have got up on social media and started a podcast. But instead, he calmly [clears throat] delivered the DNA results to you and bowed out. Couldn't have been me cuz my black ass would be suing for restitution. And if I don't get it, I know where you live. I'm hitting the meanest lick. The nerve. How to fix it. The nerve of some people. Go ahead and follow me. Stay toxic. Get a DNA test, too. I'm over here in the hospital, y'all. Going to give birth to his child. And he over here questioning me, talking about is this really his baby? Like, what are you talking about? Do you really think I'm see you up here at the hospital? everything we eat just for nothing. Are you serious right now? What kind of baby dad does that right when we f to have this baby? Are you serious? You really going to hear baby talking about, "Oh, can you get DNA test?" No, you're not getting no DNA test after this. I'm not doing that. This is your child. If you going to play with your child, then you can go ahead and go. I don't need you up here cuz all you doing is stressing me out. Yeah, we are going to find out. And that's so weird for you to even be saying that though. Why would you even say that? You don't never want to claim your kids. Why you never claiming your kids? I don't be I don't be doing none of that teen stuff or none of that. What? Like, what are you doing, bro? Like, I'm I'm sick of that. And you know what? I'm not even going to say nothing, bro. Because I'm not getting no DNA test. So, if he he don't think it's his child, he just won't have a child. We don't We don't really need you over here. He in here stressing me out. Like, look at me. I look a mess right now. And you over here doing all this extra stuff stressing me out right now. Talking about you want DNA test. Okay, then you going to get a DNA test. You can really go ahead and go.
No DNA test is the biggest red flag here. You're asking a man for lifelong commitment, but refusing simple proof. That's not trust. That's demanding blind obedience. Later, she says, "Why doesn't he commit?"
How could you do this to me, Anna? You are my wife. How could you sleep with my brother?
I [screaming] just got back from war.
We've been married for 20 years. We got two kids for God's sake.
How could you do this to me? [screaming]
I went to prison for 5 years. When I got out of prison in 2003, I paid child support from that day until just February of last year when I lost my child.
Only because they garnished your wages.
Absolutely. That's what they do.
And I actually asked my public defender, "Where's the proof? I've yet to see proof that the child's mine."
Mr. Maner.
Oh god.
You are not.
His father.
Oh man.
Oh my god. I'm here in prison. I Dylan, I'm sorry, bro. This is why. This is why I did what I did.
This is nothing I made up. The lab did.
You didn't made it all up.
No, I did not.
Well, those results are pretty.
I don't know any of those people on that form. Miss Seir.
Do you know his right?
You know who his father is?
Yes. I talked to. Hey, y'all got to stop that. I'm not saying all, but there's a lot of y'all doing that out here. They just doing whatever make them feel bad. Everybody got feelings. Everybody want to do great for their kids. But there's a lot of y'all out here pushing the real man away that really want to be there for their kids.
She knew the truth and still let this man suffer. That's the darkest part. Some men aren't running from responsibility. They're running from deception disguised as motherhood.
To think about it that time because I had no reason to suspect that he wasn't my child when I signed the acknowledgement of paternity. And um so.
Let me ask you a question about that acknowledgement of paternity because we, and you'll have to forgive me, we abbreviate things a lot. AOP.
Yeah.
Did you know at the time you signed the acknowledgement of paternity what that actually meant?
I I guess I should say yes and no.
Okay. What do you mean by yes and no? Because at the time I felt I I I didn't know that it could possibly hold um basically even if you find out that you're not the father, that it would still hold you legally responsible for for that child. And so that's the part that I I didn't know and I think the reason why I didn't know that is because I didn't go into it thinking that that what ended up happening would have happened.
All right. Uh meaning when I signed it, I was 100% sure that my son was my son.
He signed because he trusted her. That's the painful part. Men are told, "Trust your woman." Then when betrayal happens, the system says, "Too bad, pay." Anyway.
He then said that he wanted the DNA test. Do you know that that's your kid? I will never give you a DNA test. That's not going to happen cuz I know. Of course not.
He's asking for of I will not go. I did my research. I will never ever give him a DNA test. You will need to take me to court.
[sighs]
I don't know why that just pissed me off. It's like why does everything have to be a fight with women like this? A simple DNA test. Why I have to bring you to court for a simple DNA test? If I was a boyfriend, dude, husband, whoever, baby daddy, and she's refusing and saying, "Take me to court for that." Listen, man. We're done. I'm divorcing you. I'm breaking up with you. I'm dumping you. Whatever it is, we're finished. Because to me, that is a red flag. The biggest red flag overall I've ever seen in a long time. Because if a simple DNA test require me to actually bring to court, that means when we break up, you will be a BBM, a bitter baby mama. meaning that I'm expecting for you to put me on child support. You're going to try to not let me see my kid. You're giving me a hard time. You're going to say, "If you want to see your child, bring me to court." That's the vibe I got from her.
You're paying child support in the amount of $360 a month.
For a child you still don't know whether it's yours or not.
Exactly. I got served with paper saying I missed my court date and I was a father by default. I work 85, 90 hours every two weeks. I bring home on a good check. I might hit 300.
You're working triple shifts.
I'm killing myself.
Trying to make sure you're paying the child.
Trying to find a second job right now. I asked her point blank, "Am I the father of the child?" She looked at me and said,
"Honestly, you're not the father."
Real talk. Can't make it up. That's what she said. You are not the father. So, she gets more money than my son's mother, which my son is my own birth certificate. Signed it. That's my blood.
When it comes to five-year-old Kenya, Mr. Matlock. You are NOT.
I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. GO FIND YOUR BABY. PUT SOMEBODY ELSE ON CHILD SUPPORT.
You are.
Man was working himself to exhaustion. 85 to 90 hours paying for a child he already suspected wasn't his. That's not responsibility. That's a system crushing a man without proof. Anyway, that's enough for today. Subscribe. Turn on the notification bell and stay tuned for the next.