The Cycle of Trauma (spiritual scars, psychosomatics, & healing)

Not all of your trauma is even from your lifetime. Sometimes you have memories in your genetic code that come from your parents or from your grandparents. The body is a record keeper, and the body is keeping a track record of when things have happened to you. When you've been traumatized through betrayal, you will betray people before they have a chance to betray you. We're obsessed with the past and correcting the past and passing legislation based on the past, and nobody's moving forward anymore.

How many times did Jesus talk about his past? I can't even think of one time. If it's not controlling your future, it's probably not trauma; it's just distress. The story of the Bible is converting people from post-traumatic stress to post-traumatic growth. That's the redemptive arc of scripture. We can't move past something that we cannot release. If you cannot release it, you will never grow past it. Everyone wants to get to the high places, but if you want to go high, you first have to go deep.

What's up, guys? Welcome back to the deep end. What up, supe? Supe. We have to change your brands. That's right. You want to rebrand me now? Yeah. You, you have a fake last name. A fake last name? Do you mean just I have a middle name like the rest of America? And the rest, everyone thinks you're Jake Bryan, but it's not your name, dude. You have lied to us for so many years. Mhm. That we don't know what's true or not. Right, right. Jake, you are young. You're 24. Old. You're 24 years ripe. Yes. Sometimes I forget. I just turned 24. How's the married life? Really good. We're 7 months in at this point, so we're basically pros. If you want, um, uh, what is that thing? What counseling? If you want counseling, feel free to hit me up. Hit my wife up, and we'll. Don't hit my wife up, otherwise I'll find you. But yeah, we'll do counseling. We're basically professionals at this point. We're really good.

All right, how are you and Lizay doing? We're great. You need some counseling? Yeah, we need 12 years and we're 12, 12 years in a month and a half. Hey, you just got back from. We just got back from Utah last week. We actually talked about it a little bit on the show. We were going to Utah. Talk about deep end. How'd it go, in your opinion? Well, we weren't there to talk about deep end. We were there to help people craft, um, content, right? Content systems, messaging systems. I thought it was really good. I think you were a little bit too far in the weeds for the first day, but we agree on that. Jake shows up. Listen, he's just like, here's how you, um, do competitive research of a channel. I'm like, bro, I've never done competitive research on a channel. So I'm glad you know how to do that. I do not. That was the stuff no one talked about. But yeah, no one talks about it. It was good. It was, uh, it was a lot of fun. A lot of people had altitude issues. And oh yeah, it's part of the game. And we have, what do we have next month? We have, uh, teams hiring, assembling an A-player team. Oh, fun. Management, compensation, boring stuff that you have to know how to do if you're going to run a business. It's going to get fun. We have a lot of stuff coming up. It's a lot of fun.

I am back in the flow of, of just busy. I got it. I got two months from December 15th to February, whatever day we left. Uh, I didn't have that much to do. So now I'm back in the in the busy train. Nice. That sounds super fun. Which is exciting. There's always something special you get from the Lord when you are, um, a little bit stressed. You get a different facet of, like, my connection with God is a lot easier, um, sometimes because there's just not that much me left. Like my personality is throttled a little bit because I'm so busy. Mhm. Not busy in the sense of I don't have time to spend with God, but you know what happens when you're, you don't really have your life figured out that well because it's so chaotic? M. God speaks to me so quickly when I'm just a little empty. M. And usually you hear it the opposite. You hear people be like, you have to get settled and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, man, God made certain people to be crazy, like their personalities. It's really hard sometimes to get really settled. Um, and I think sometimes God likes it when I'm not. He is like, go speak, go do this thing, go build this business. And I'm like, okay. All at the same time, I'm in a plane and I don't even know, like, how to get to the hotel. That's how, like, stretched I am. Yeah. And God's like, here's what you're going to say when you get there. And I don't even have to really try to hear it. And it's just because my brain is not capable of organizing everything. Yep. You know, that sounds fun. Sounds like a lot of fun. A lot of fun. You got to have the joy of the Lord, baby. That's what you were telling me. Yeah. Some idiot on our, on our comments was like, I, I had stage four, uh, cancer and then I had the joy of the Lord and went away. And I was like, what a terrible thing to joke about. And he was like, well, I'm just, I, I said, what a terrible thing to joke about. I responded to him. And, um, he was like, I was just making a point that God doesn't just show up and give you whatever you ask for. And I said, dude, the whole is God showing up and answering prayers that people pray for. Like, how can you be a Christian and not believe that God wants to answer prayers? That's what I'm saying. Like, bro, if I had no knowledge, if I had no knowledge of Jesus, if I didn't know Jesus, if I didn't talk to Holy Spirit, I would rather be a Muslim because Muslims at least believe that Allah wants to help them. But if I was only going on Christians, man, to heck with that, dude. I don't want to worship a God that everybody says just hates you and doesn't want to help you or answer prayer. True. Such a poor representation. I was just like, man, I realized that this man is probably hurting. He's probably been through some life. He's probably just unintelligent. But that's a bad representation of God. You look star-struck right now. Are you okay with this? Probably because it's a bad representation to also call him an idiot. But what? It's probably a bad representation of God to call him an idiot too. You don't think God calls people idiots? I mean, I haven't seen it a lot, but. Oh, bro, read your Bible. All right, great. Yeah. God calls people idiots frequently. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't know that. I do. I think I would just prefer the stance of like, man, I just feel bad for him. Like, he seems pretty miserable. He needs some help. Well, you do that. I will say, sir, you are so dumb that you don't understand how anything works. Hey, and that's great. That's why we're both here. That's the dichotomy of our personalities. It's great. Speaking of our personalities, um, what do we have in common? Uh, we're going to NOP. That's I don't care about that. I don't know what we have in common. We're both males. Uh, yeah. Is awesome. Um, let's talk about trauma. Cool. You ready for it? I'm ready. You in the right frame of mind for this? I would love, love. We love talking about trauma. I've been studying trauma. We do. We love talking about trauma. Uh, in a sense of when you get healed from it, it's awesome. When you become self-aware of it, it's amazing. To become aware of it is in and of itself. No, it's not great. This episode is going to help you if you feel fear. This episode will help you if you feel triggered. If you get triggered and you aren't sure why, this episode will help you. If you know what you should do, but you cannot get yourself to do it, this episode will help you. If you have felt self-sabotage, this episode will help you. If you feel guilty, um, we're going to dive into like, what is, what is trauma? No, trauma is not just what you use to justify being rude. We too many people use trauma as a justifier. And if you really look at what trauma is, most, most people are traumatized, but they're not actually, they're just immature. They're not actually, they want to use trauma as a, as a reasoning device to justify them doing the wrong thing, but that's not how we deal with trauma. Mhm.

Have you ever been traumatized to a degree? Yeah. Not in like a, there's, I'm putting it on a, you can tell I'm putting it on a spectrum. On my spectrum, it's very, very, very light, like a very light sense of traumatization. I'm not talking about like sexual abuse type stuff, but that's, that's like far down the spectrum. But yeah, of course, to some extent, yes. Have you ever felt fear but you don't know why? Yes. Ever felt like, um, something is, there's just some, maybe it's it's unlucky or there's something wrong with you and you can't get something to work and then believed that it's your fault? 100%. Yeah, yeah. Uh, I was on, on the plane to Utah. I was, I got a text message that wasn't even that big of a deal. It was just a random text. And I read it and the contents of the text, like, weren't great, but they weren't like, hey, your kid's been stolen either. Like, it wasn't that bad, right? And dude, it swung me so far into this place of fear and anxiety that I started asking God. I was like, why is this happening to me? Why am I so triggered by this text message? And Holy Spirit spoke to me and he said that, um, you have not dealt with trauma in your spirit. Which is interesting because we've done these episodes where we talked about the trauma from the past businesses and the trauma from, you know, the CC and all that stuff. And God told me how to deal with that in my, in my body. Do you remember that? Mhm. Because I was, I would get myself to feel good and then I would go to bed. I would wake up the next morning, I would feel bad again. Y. And eventually I was like, why is this happening? It's in my body. It's like, how do I get it out of my body? Because my mind is being renewed when I wake up and I feel good, but for the first two hours of every day, I'm just like trying to talk myself off a ledge. And it was like, it's in your body. Here's what you need to do. And I started doing that. Um, so it was, it was a weird thing for me to hear from God because he's the one that told me how to deal with trauma in my body. I didn't read a bunch of books about it. Like, what I, the story of my life is basically hearing something from God, not having any clue what it means, doing it anyways, and then backfilling it with science. That's the story of my life. So I then I started studying trauma in the body because God was telling me dumb stuff like, go get in a cold plunge and say these verses. And I was like, that makes no sense. Why do I have to be in a cold plunge? And then I started researching. It's like, oh, here's how you, trauma will sometimes release in when your body's in autophagy. And autophagy is the systematic process of killing off old mitochondria, cellular, uh, cellular death. When you're in autophagy, like your body will kill off anything that is no longer productive. M. Because you're in a state of fight or flight stress. So like, the Roosevelt practiced this. The Roosevelt is someone who went through extreme trauma. Picture, do you love your mom? Love her. Do you love your wife? Yes. What if both of them died on the same night? That would be, you would definitely label that a little bit like traumatic. And losing your wife is hard enough. Losing your mother is hard enough. Some people watching this are like, I wish my mom would die. Well, for slow down. Like, no, it's traumatic because you've got unresolved things that, that you aren't able to say anymore. The Roosevelt lost his mom and his wife in the same night. Wow. And to, to cope with this, he didn't know how to cope with this, but he had had a life that had trained him in autophagy, which he, they didn't have the signs of autophagy back then, but autophagy is when you put your body into a state where anything that does not support life is immediately discarded. So fasting is an example of autophagy. When you fast for 3 days, um, you know, part of why it's good for your body is your body is forced to discharge and kill off anything that is keeping on life support. So cells in the body that are no longer contributing to energy, your body will just let them, let them go. But it won't let them go if you're not in autophagy. Just kind of keeps them sort of around, which clutters up the system. Um, sauna, a sauna is an example of autophagy. This is why when, if you have like a, I'm not a doctor by any means, so fact check all of this with Chad GPT or something. But when I will get like a cold, I'll just get in the sauna because my body is eventually going to give me a fever anyways. A fever isn't, is an, is a source of autophagy. Your body's making it so hot that these things can't survive anymore, so it gets rid of them. So saing is, is a form of autophagy. Roosevelt just ran off to the West Coast. He was so traumatized by this that, that one of his best friends found him in a bar in, uh, the, on the West Coast and it was like, do you remember that you have a daughter? And he said, it would be better for her to not even know me as a dad. That's how messed up I am. She needs a different father. He was so traumatized that the primal drive of being a father, even had been corrupted and used against him because he felt so guilty, he felt so overwhelmed. And so, so what he did is he just start, he got on a horse and rode until he couldn't. He fell off the horse, passed out. He would stop eating. He would fast. He would run for miles and miles and miles. Now, this is like a man without science to sort of guide. Like, there is a limit to autophagy. Like, you don't want to, like, don't stop eating for 90 days. Bad things will probably happen to you if you make it that far. But he was able to get rid of some of his trauma through just the extremity of putting the body in a fight or flight. One of my friends, um, owns this organization in Arizona called Jump. Oh, this is, we talked about this. And, uh, they put you in this cylindrical device and it's, um, it's, it's, um, it's like an alternate reality type thing. They put goggles on you, you've got speakers and like fans and stuff. So put these goggles on you, you're in a cylinder, and you'll feel your body will begin to feel like it's on the edge of a cliff. M. And then you'll jump off. No parachute, nothing. And the fans kick on, the sound, like your body can't, it feels like you're dying. VR? Yeah. Yeah, virtual reality. Oh, dude. And they've got things on your brain. They're studying the brain when you get to this place called The Edge. The Edge is like, if you've studied near-death experiences, like you're, you're in a really bad car accident. And what do people say? Like, my life slowed down, flash before my eyes. This is The Edge. That moment right before, because your body has, your body doesn't have enough energy to keep your def, your mental defenses up. It's just, just expanding out. So you're using more of your brain at the edge. And they found that you can program yourself. They can program these people really easily when they're at the edge because their brain doesn't defend itself. So it's not rejecting thoughts or ideas. Wow. Similar to hypnosis. Like hypnosis, when you get your, when you get your brain to like lower its defenses down, you just, whatever you say to the brain, they're just going to accept. So you can program yourself through hypnosis and things like this. Well, this is important because one of the greatest opportunities you have to rewrite a traumatic belief system is in the middle of a new traumatic event. H. So that's what we're going to talk about. Is it the same type of traumatic event or just one? Doesn't matter. Okay. Anything that makes you feel like you're in an existential situation, you have lowered mental barriers into what is true, and you can audit your belief systems at that point. And so when you learn this, it puts a new lens on bad situations and pressure. And like, one of the best things that ever happened to me was going through the traumatic event of the FTC because I got to audit all the trauma that came from when I was 17 and why I believed what I believed about myself, about other people, etc. Is there a, um, scientific term you're going to go into in terms of what determines what would qualify as a traumatizing moment in somebody's life? Okay, great. Mhm. Yep. We will. We will indeed. Um, I started really, um, getting good at this, not not getting good at trauma, but getting good at, um, assessing what was wrong with me when we came out of the past businesses and, um, and my life started to change. And I started realizing that one of the nastiest parts about trauma is that it, it wants to project your past onto your future. It wants to recreate because your body is now trying to make sure you never get back to that state again. So it's start seeing the ingredients for that traumatic event everywhere. So we want, here are some examples. That'd be great. Um, I shared the story way earlier in the deep end before it was a thing about my, the first, the first woman I was serious with and we started talking about marriage and things like that. Remember that episode? Foreshadowing? Yeah, yeah. I think it's the curse of unforgiveness. Yeah. And it was a traumatic event where she was like, hey, I've been sort of basically cheating on you with someone in your family. Which is like, oh my gosh, that's traumatic. Also a pastor. It was a pastor. It was like in my family. And I don't remember all of the ins and outs of that because one of the first things that your brain will sometimes do to like protect you from this is just like, try to block it out, put it in a box and hide it. Mhm. The problem with that is regardless of whether it's in your ious data bank or not, it's still making decisions for you. And so when you're in a place where you're, you're traumatized, it's controlling you without your permission. So it's there, but you're not aware of how it's impacting your decisions. MH. So it's controlling your body even without your permission. It's controlling your, your heart rate, your ability to breathe. People get some real, they get real messed up because they will just shut down and they don't want to shut down, but their body's like, yep, this sounds like the last time. And it puts a shutdown protocol. It's controlling your body, but you're not, you're not in control of that. Yep. And that's, that's awful. It's an awful place to be in. But when we, we moved past that and I got married to Lindsay and, um, for the first six years, every time we would get into it, I believed that she was going to leave. She was going to cheat on me because that's what I was expecting. So you see the trauma here trying to get out of its box and imprint itself onto your future. MH. Yeah. And during that time, too, if I might point out, you also told me with the business stuff that you often felt like you were always waiting for someone to betray you in business all the time. I was looking for it. You literally, even though it didn't exist. Like, and I would have conversations and I'd just be so confused for like 30 minutes. Even now, I'm just like, I have to sometimes pause and go, oh, here's my heart and just get that out. And then that would help get things on the same page. Y. Yeah. It's the reason for this is because the body is a record keeper and the body is keeping a track record of when things have happened to you. And we're going to talk about what trauma does. There's three main things that trauma really messes up and corrupts. But if you don't understand this, then you will believe the narrative from your trauma. And so me and Lindsay would fight all the time because I was convinced that if she didn't respond within a certain amount of time, she was probably with some other man. And it just got really nasty. But I believed that she was probably with someone else. And if I didn't believe it, it wouldn't have had as much power. But when we're in, when we're acting under the influence of trauma, that trauma is a reality. It's not just a narrative. We're actually stuck in it. We can't tell the difference. Does that make sense? Yeah. You okay? Yeah. I'm racking my brain to see like, where, where do you see this in the Bible as well? All over the place, like people having this type of response. David, Jacob. Where do you see it with the, how do you see with Jacob? Jacob was expecting to be betrayed. He was expecting to be manipulated. So he manipulated first. When you've been traumatized through betrayal, you will betray people before they have a chance to betray you. When you're expecting people to manipulate you, you'll manipulate them before they have a chance to manipulate you. Do you expect somebody to lie? You'll lie first as a control mechanism. Well, what did, what did Jacob see specifically that he had been, what, what was the event that happened and then how did he respond later? Go read your Bible. Okay. Um, I was just funny. There was another story of like, Kate, let's take people who are watching this who have kids. You have to be very careful with your kids as well because what, what trauma does as well is it will imprint itself onto your kids. And this happens scientifically through epigenetics. So here's where it gets really complicated. Not all of your trauma is even from your lifetime. Like sometimes you have, you have memories in your genetic code that come from your parents or from your grandparents. And it's always interesting to notice like when something happens to you for the first time, when you respond in a way that's like, you're super triggered, it probably happened to your grandmother and she was triggered by it. The epigenetics were altered, the DNA was altered, and it was born into the bloodline of the, of her children because the bloodline is really responsible for making sure that like, if this threat happens, I have to make sure my kids don't die from it the way I almost died from it. And so then we have generational trauma, which is even more complex. And we have to actually use prayer, we have to use a little bit of science, we have to know how God built the body to do this. Um, but with like Kate, for example, um, you know, the first three years of her life, I was gone, wasn't present. Um, I was just doing what I felt like I had to do. And then when we had that moment where she was a three-year-old, honest with me about how she's like, I don't even want to talk to you. You're not really a good dad at all. Um, I fixed a lot of things. But every time I would come home and Kate wasn't excited to be around, I was convinced that I was losing her again, all over again, for no reason. But I was so, it was a traumatic event. It was like, I'm losing my child. And so me and Lindsay had to have a lot of conversations about this too, where she was like, she's like, Taylor, she's upstairs playing with building blocks. Like, everything's good. I was like, I, I'm not around enough. She's like, you had her last night. You saw her this morning. And I was just convinced that this loop was continuing, like, I'm losing her all over again. And if I would not have corrected that, what's unfortunate is that trauma becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. So if you act as if something is happening, you will create it. It's a big cycle. It's very, it's massive. Just this cycle is nasty. It's nasty, dude. That's so, man, here's why this happens. Um, trauma, trauma is a, is a reorganizational tool. So trauma reorganizes the way that the mind and the brain manage perceptions. There's a good book on this called The Body Keeps the Score, and you can study like how, how trauma goes in and it, it makes your brain alter. It alters the way your brain assesses threat, assesses situation. So one of the first things that happens when someone has come through a traumatic season is they no longer have a clean ability to assess their situations. They can't assess anything. They have their attribution muscle breaks, essentially. And why, why does this happen? Well, the reticular activating system is altered in trauma. It's changed. And we've had episodes where we've talked about the reticulate, the activating system, and you can go study that. But what was happening to me with like Lindsay in the first couple years of our marriage with Kate, um, after this moment, is my assessment was picking up threats that didn't exist because I could no longer trust that I was going to catch it if it happened again. And if this goes on too long, if it goes on too long, then you always end up having a measure of guilt that's inappropriate. Mhm. Because trauma not only messes up your in your assessment thing, but trauma, you know that it's becoming rooted, like it's becoming grounded when you start having thoughts like this. It's not the thought that like, this is just a bad situation, I learned from it. It pivots you to start thinking like, I should have known, and maybe it was my fault. And this is when a person becomes rooted in drama because it starts showing up as guilt. It's the person who has been sexually abused and they feel like it was their fault. It's the person who has been through, uh, excruciating loss and they feel like because they should have caught it, they should have known, that somehow they deserved it, they're being penalized because they should have done something about it. And this guilt will wrap around your neck and it will slowly suffocate you unless you get free. Wow. That wasn't too hard. No. I also see why you wanted to do it today. Why? How many times have you caught me going like, you straight up told me on one of our calls recently, you were like, man, when you're learning something, you need to get, you need to ask, always aspire to heal you in terms of, um, because I wasn't thinking, you actually would probably be able to explain it better than I did because you recognized it quicker. But when there would be something for me to learn, I would be so frustrated with myself of like, oh, I should have known, or I should just, I should have done better, or this, or this, or that. Like, you would actually be able to explain my, we'll call it, quote unquote, traumatic response better than I can. How would you explain it? Like, how from your perspective, because you could see it? I, for me, it's just natural programming. You can, you can go as, make me go as vulnerable as you want, but that's what it's making me think of. High performers, high performers who have been through trauma, they, they actually are high performers are more traumatized more frequently than anyone else because they expect themselves to have seen it, to have known better, to have done something different. So this isn't just an episode for people who have just like, they're like, they feel like they're strung out on the bottom. Like, you will get, get help from this. Mhm. But this is actually like, look, if you're a high performer, you have some semblance of the spectrum. And it goes from like, eustress to distress to trauma. You have a spectrum in the middle. So you have eustress, which is like, really healthy stress for your body. It's good. It feels good, man. Everybody, every high performer just loves, like, give me something difficult to do that only I can do. Like, we love it. It's fun. But eustress turns into distress when you start running out of energy. Distress is damaging. It's not good. It's, it's unhealthy. So this, when you're like, if, let's take a basketball player. The basketball player clutch loves it. Loves the ball. Game-winning shot at the buzzer beater. Loves it. Unless he like, has the flu and his leg is broken, then he does not love it. He doesn't even want to be on the court. He's going to let everyone down. [Music] Distress, then the collateral that happens from that distress of what are people saying about you and you've let your team down and you should have known that you weren't going to be able to take this shot. And then that gets in the player's head. Then they're in trauma. So this is a spectrum here, right? Um, and for you specifically, you're a high performer. So your standards for yourself are very, very high. And you're always going to be looking for attribution. Why didn't I see this? Why didn't I know this? Why did I miss this, like this obvious thing? It doesn't turn into trauma, though, until it starts controlling your future. If it's not controlling your future, it's probably not trauma. It's just distress. Interesting. Controlling your future. What, for me, in my situation, what does that look like? What do you mean? What does it look like when I say, man, I should have known, like, I should have caught this, and I'm just like frustrated? What do you mean by that? Controlling your future. What do you mean? Well, that's not trauma. That's just being frustrated with yourself. Okay. Trauma is when it's like, you're, you're, you're not even going to try anymore. Oh, okay. So the channel's the channel's failing. Is my fault? I should have caught it. The guilt is super high. And hey, you need another producer. Like, you need somebody different who, who can see things and doesn't suck. Oh, I do that. I've done that with my wife a few times. Yeah. You, I don't even deserve to have you. Yep. Yeah. Like, I've messed up so bad that I don't even deserve to have you. There's something wrong with me. It's not just a mistake that I made. There's something wrong with me. Yeah. You're in, like, in trauma. Yeah. I've done that. So trauma does do three things. We're going to cover them real quickly. It does more than this, but these are the top three that I've seen it and just consulting people and helping, not Holy Spirit consulting me and helping me get out of traumatic situations. And so we need to watch out for these three things. You okay? We'll keep going. I have something. I have a specific question that's like burning in my head right now that I feel like you need to talk about. And it's freezing in here, so I'm making it hotter. Me and Jake both did the cold plunge this morning. Jake's like, this isn't even cold. I was like, man, you said it was because I was fat. I think you're traumatized, dude. No, you said I was fat and that's why you do have a lot more body fat. I do than I do. Correct. I'm about to get even less body fat. Dude, that's sick. You look so good, by the way. If you look at the first episode versus now, you look very different. Thank you. I'm starting on Monday, dude. We're going hardcore. Like, I'm basically just eating kiwi and papaya every day with some oatmeal, bee nuts. I have. Okay, so here's the burning question that I feel like would be interesting to hear your thoughts on because of how many people this show affects. I want to ask this question. What, what do you see in society when people, if, if people do not deal with trauma, what happens? They become victims. What happens to the world as a result of that? Like, what direction does society go? That is such a big. How do you expect me to answer that question? I know, with a sentence. I don't expect a sentence. Um, the marginalized end up building legislation and building movements that are based on the back of socialism and advancement stops. It grinds to a halt. If you want to rate, if you want to rate the heartbeat of a civilization, take stock of the enthusiasm present in that, in that civilization. When a civilization is not enthusiastic about the future, you have to convert to communism or, yeah, communism is about the only thing that will keep a civilization going past the line of enthusiasm. Wow. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Well, you asked me a really complicated question and that puts us into the realm of like, yeah, like governmental design, but that's okay. Look at the last 20 years and you can sort of see like, we have a lot of traumatized people who have been through really, really, really sad situations and it's been really unfortunate. But because we don't know how to heal, we don't then know how to move forward. And so we're obsessed with the past and correcting the past and passing legislation based on the past, and nobody's moving forward anymore. Everyone's just focused on the past over and over because we cannot move past. No pun intended. We can't move past something that we cannot release. If you cannot release it, you will never grow past it. Is that what you wanted? Yes. Geez, dude. How many times did Jesus talk about his past? I can't even think of one time right now. Or well, dude, he was freaking marginalized. He was grew up as a dark-skinned Jew under the oppression of an empire. He was, he was born into a nothing town, dude, the freaking armpit of Israel. Nobody cared about Jesus. Nobody cared about Nazareth. Like he was so many traumatic events. People want to obsess over the crucifixion and I understand that, but bro, settle down. You don't have to be crucified to be traumatized. He was traumatized many times before he got to the cross. One of the biggest ones is like somebody that was close to him betrayed him. So you go through that kind of betrayal and how did he deal with, with [Music] trauma? Did he talk about the past? No. Did he talk about going, correcting like everything and making sure people were punished for it? Mm. Did he talk about reparations? He just kept trying to find a way to bring people back. He wanted people, people brought together because one of the secrets of trauma that we'll get into is community. And community requires unity. So we're not going to fix anybody's trauma through segregation, separation, or equity. That doesn't exist. That's not how you fix it. You bring two people together. You have to have a space to talk about it. Like, you, you can't just bury it and act like it didn't happen. But it can't, you can't go, you can't fix the past from the past anyway. Anyways, dear God, dude, you just like opened up a can of worms, a huge one, which is kind of a big deal. I hope you come back to this because this is like, dude, this is why you're so frustrated with so many people because, oh my gosh, I'm like trying to, am I frustrated with them? Uh, people like Christians specifically. The Holy Spirit has been dealing with me on that. So that's great. That's awesome. I don't know that I'm frustrated anymore, but there's a, I don't know what's going on right now, dude. I'm, you know, okay, here's what I'm freaking. If you're watching this, you can, if you can translate what's happening with Jake's head, please let me know because I'm so lost. Here's my thing. When I talk to people and all they, I, I am so, oh my gosh, I have so many people I know that all they, the reason I can say this is because I've been one of these people. And if I'm not careful, I'll become one of those people too. But I've seen so many people, they never, ever, ever, ever get to move forward because they won't, they won't stop talking about their past and they won't stop living in it. And it's always this thing and it's that thing, but it's not, it's not their fault per se, it's their biology, it's their neurochemistry. So it's like the brain is hijacking that, right? So that's, that's where Holy Spirit's been dealing with me and saying like, dude, if it's not their fault, they don't get it, right? For sure. And so we have an intelligence issue in, in America. We, we have, we have less of an issue of people just being mean and more of an issue of just people being largely stupid and uneducated. It's the same thing as the Israelites. Like, it's, when you see God just saying like, dude, oh my gosh, please stop being so dumb. They have no knowledge, they have no training, they're not, they're not teaching their kids. And then the countries are destroyed over and over. And it's not, it's when people get on here and they hate it's like, it's really not their fault. Maybe nobody's trained them how to do this. And so I, the Holy Spirit is like, you have to do a better job because you have to learn that it's, it's the, the kindness of the Lord leads us to curiosity about the Lord. When somebody realizes for the first time that their entire life is a joke and the king of the cosmos is personally interested and doesn't want to punish them for that, they're all of a sudden curious why that doesn't fit my paradigm. You know, paradigm Jamie Win talked about this and he's writing a book on this, but I've been teaching about paradigm since November of last year because I realized with our clients, you know, a paradigm is this collection of rules that we all agree to. Mhm. Is how we see the world. And it's like a bucket. So like, you have this bucket of when life and the ingredients of life fit into this bucket, that bucket colors what happens to us. It's the rules. What does this mean? Right? Y. When you take a giant massive rock that doesn't fit into the paradigm, you just throw it onto the bucket. It breaks the bucket, which allows you to then rebuild a new paradigm. Mhm. Jesus is the rock. And so it's, it's not kindness just for the sake of kindness. It is a paradigm breaker because people all of the sudden realize, I have done so much that deserves punishment, and God is not interested in punishing me. Why? Kindness begets curiosity, and curiosity is the start of relationship. Every relationship you've ever had started with curiosity. Mhm. And so Holy Spirit is basically like, you're not making people curious about me. You're, you're representing me as this judgmental, vindictive type of person. I'm like, okay, I'll fix it. How do we do that? Well, stop going after Christians. Okay, understood. It's not their fault. The thing is, I was one of those people. That's the thing. That's why I can't, I don't even feel like I can be in that place of judgment because it's like, if I didn't have someone like you in my life, I would, I can almost guarantee you I'd be the same way I was for years, years ago. If it wasn't, it I think so. Or God would have brought somebody else potentially. That's true. Trauma. I know trauma does three, three, like back to trauma as if we weren't talking about in the first place. We were, we started getting into like governmental stuff. Three things that we got to pay attention to with trauma. I want to really show people how trauma shows up so you can look for it. Um, and then we're going to go to the past. We're going to look for it. And then we're going to, we're going to do some just basic conversational work on how do you grow past it? And you pray for it because what God told me on this plane is that you haven't dealt with the spirit of trauma. Trauma is both a reality and a spirit. You can get trauma out of the body, but there's a spirit of trauma fatigue. There's a spirit of fatigue. You're not just tired. That doesn't happen. You get right up to your promised land and all of the sudden you're falling asleep. Nope. That's not just being tired. There's a spirit of fatigue that can come after a person. There's a spirit of confusion that can come after people. Mhm. So the, the problem is these things are in the body, but they're also spiritual. So trauma does three things. Number one, it breaks the attribution and assessment system in the body. We can no longer judge the validity of a signal. We don't know what it means anymore. We can't tell how, how important something is to survival. You're in a state of trauma when you feel like someone texting you is the equivalent of being tied to train tracks and a train running over your head. You can't tell anymore. Your assessment system's broken. It's me coming home, Kate's upstairs having a great time, and I am convinced that that means that I have not spent enough time with her and therefore she's, I'm going to lose her. What? It makes no sense. That's not valid attribution. The assessment machine in the brain is now corrupted. We can't tell anymore. Yeah. Make sense? Y. Number two, trauma causes you to burn your energy reserves trying to deal with things that happened 10 years ago. They're not happening anymore. And the body and the brain end up just, it's the brain's over-investigation. [Music] But now it's self-cannibalizing to deal with a threat that's not even in, in, in the picture anymore. MH. So people will have issues, they'll have autoimmune issues, they'll have, they'll have significant health problems because the body doesn't have enough energy just to keep you alive anymore because it's trying to fix a situation that was, it's 10 years old, it's 3 years old, it's not, it's not there anymore. And so it's bad just having this siphon in your body that's just just burning energy all the time. Dr. Alexander Love says, as long as the body has enough energy to meet the demands made upon it, it will stay free from distress. So remember this spectrum, you've got eustress, distress, trauma spectrum. As long as the body has enough energy, it stays free from distress. So if a threat comes up and the threat level is that level 50 of 100, and you've got level 75 energy, it's eustress. We love it. We're good with it. Yeah. The body loves it too. Mhm. So everything's good. Yep. Without any stress, you're just a, you have nothing. So the body, fuel, it feeds off of the flow. Science. You have to have a really significant target that challenges the amount of energy that you have, but doesn't supersede it. Yep. Why are you laughing? Because I've been living this the past two days. And you're good. I'm great. You're very happy. I'm here. Good. I'm, yeah, I'm cranking. You got enough energy to deal with it? Great. As soon as a situation exceeds the level of energy you have in your body, it becomes distressing. Yep. So that's when it becomes a penalty. It's no longer making you better. Uh-huh. You are not like breaking down the musculature of the body and enjoying it because you know it's going to regrow. You are trapped and you become like a cornered animal. So you don't have enough energy. Your body starts, starts freaking out. This is where self-cannibalization happens. This is where the body starts going into weird places because it's got to survive, but it doesn't have enough energy to survive. And your outside, uh, your outside forces that are interfering with you, they are bigger than your, your internal resolve. And then, would you say also like your body just starts slowing down? So that thing that would normally not be hard is now becoming hard, like to do? Yeah, like everything slows down. Which slows down. It just gets, it's losing, it's leaking power. And it knows it's leaking power. Yeah. And at that point, the body turns on a clock. So the body at that point puts a clock on how long can I survive this? This is where light at

The end of the tunnel starts coming up. How long? Like, how long is this going to happen? Like, with me in the middle of the of the FTC. The clock started. Cuz you have a govern, you have this freaking 800lb gorilla for some reason going after me. Mhm. And people get on and comment about that. It's like, yo, read our posts about it. Like, that situation was just dumb. Sad. It's sad. There's no, like, yeah, like it didn't even make sense. But I was trapped in it. And so at that point, I had a clock that started. How long can I float this before I just crumble? And this is a, this is not a good place to be in. You don't want to be in this place for very long. This, this is, this is distress.

So Al Dr. Alexander is saying, like, he's giving an example. He's like, look, if somebody comes up and like pushes you over or punches you, you're not going to like that. But that's not compromising your existence, right? Somebody puts their hands around your throat and starts to squeeze. Your body flips on power reserves that you didn't even know you had because your body is now operating under a clock. Is that adrenaline? It's, it's adrenaline. Uh, which is a neurochemical. It's, um, uh, cortisol, which is like the stress hormone. But if you go into a fight, you've basically got neurop-nephrine, which is the pre-. The body is so smart. The body knows that like, you walk through a dark alley, somebody starts following you, neurop-nephrine starts increasing to prepare yourself for a fight or flight. And so you'll hear these stories about moms where their kids trapped under a car and they just lift the car off. Yep. The body is going, like, look, this is worth self-cannibalization. We're going to eat through a ginormous amount of reserves of energy to save my kid. It is very difficult, maybe impossible, to get your body to do this unless it assesses the threat for you, starts a clock, and ramps up that energy. Okay. Yeah. Don't do that to beat my leg press record. People don't even know what you're talking about, man. Jake's on this dumb thing. Jake, Jake can literally leg press more than any human should be able to leg press. You don't know any people who can leg press more than me. No. What? Hor-moi's got to Hor-moi. I bet you Hor-moi probably could. I bet he could. I bet he doesn't. Oh, yeah. He's probably not insane. I mean, like, yeah, he's a, he just eats good and works out. He doesn't, yeah, have any, like, doesn't care that much. He doesn't. But dude, that, that's crazy. Anyway, here's the, here's the third thing that trauma does. Is trauma will reprint your, your past like a book onto your future. Um, we've already talked a little bit about this, but it will reprint over and over something that happened to you in your past onto your future. You think about like the Israelites. I'm, you know, I'm writing that this book on currency of heaven and it's God is literally, um, fact-checking me while writing it because he's giving me secrets, he's giving me things, and he's, he's showing me where my life actually. I know something, but I don't believe it. Those are two different things. Knowing something and not believing it. They're, people know things all the time that they don't believe. That's a different episode. But the Israelites, man, they get out of this place where they were in bondage for 400 years and they're, they're, they're traumatized at a level that we can barely comprehend. Um, true. Let's just go into the, let's go to the dark real fast. Let's go because I think that this is part of the issue. Mhm. For 400 years, they're traumatized and they get to the edge of the promised land and they start justifying a lot of excuses for why they can't move forward. But they want to move forward. Nowhere in the Bible does this say that the Israelites didn't want the promised land. They wanted it. But they were so afraid they couldn't trust God. And it's not their fault. It's not. We have to be very careful just judging the Israelites because they had been trained for 400 years through their family lines that they were slaves. And this shows up at the first moment of testing. Their trauma is reprinting itself onto their future. And they say those words like, we're just going to, we're going to die in the wilderness. And God is deeply bothered by this. He's not, he's not that he's mad at them. He's just like, you have created a loop. You've created a self-fulfilling prophecy here. And which is what Y- he talked about. If she, if you can, if Satan can get the first generation, then he gets all the rest after them. Your past is a backthrow into the future. So when you look at the, the climate of America, like, be careful if, if you don't have slavery in your bloodline, speaking to someone who has, as if it's all their fault, because it ain't in your bloodline. So you have no idea what they're feeling. No idea. Where in your life have you made a dumb decision that you could not tell was dumb? A lot of times. A lot. So why we have to be careful in the bringing about of unity in a country like America where there's a history where one group of people has slavery in their bloodline and they're dealing with that. And that's the Israelites had the same thing. And we want to judge the Israelites and say they're just being dumb. It's not that simple. It's not. There's stuff in their epigenetics. Like we have to be careful. We have to always bring about unity. If we're not bringing about unity, we are perpetuating the trauma cycle. This happened to Abraham Lincoln. This happened to Roosevelt. This happened, uh, all, all, I mean, it happened all throughout the Bible, but it happens still, still today.

So let's put the continuum together. Let's put the spectrum together. Uh, Thomas Holmes reported. Uh, Thomas Holmes is one of the, the main guys that started developing the psychosomatic train. Psychosomatics is basically, sematics is the body, psychology is the mind, bringing them together. So if somebody says, I'm a psychotherapist, there's different branches, but usually psychotherapist is trained in sematics. So sematics is like the, the study of how the body handles distress. Psychology, a lot of psychologists study how the mind handles distress. They, they handle it different. So you know, schizophrenia, psychological thing. Autoimmune, sematic. So the body and the brain are handling this as a partnership. Make sense? Mhm. Um, Thomas Holmes said that he, he studied a bunch of people and he put together a table. And on this table, there were 43 life changes. Ranging from the death of a spouse at a 100 units, being fired at work was 42 units of life change. Um, a bad Christmas, 12 units of life change. Traffic tickets, 11 units of life change. And he started studying people with a, um, uh, a mathematical unit attached to something changing in your life. Make sense? Mhm. Yep. Yep. The, uh, Holmes said that a variety of illnesses were noted to coincide with high life change magnitude. Too much is changing too soon. We're going to build this continuum together. Mhm. He says that if a person has had more than 300 life change units in a year, this is a lot. The death of a spouse is 100. So 300 is a lot. It's a lot of, that's a lot of change. M. If a person has had more than 300 life change units in the last year and gets sick, the probability is that he or she will get diabetes, schizophrenia, a heart attack, or cancer, rather than headache, anxiety, or asthma. So the body is responding according to a, it's, it's running, it's running an algorithm to the mind to figure out how do I respond to this situation? So in some cases, the difference between like having a heart attack versus having a headache is how much distress has been in the person's life in the previous year. M. Make sense? M. Life changes can be very stressful, he said. Not only because of the emotions they evoke, but because they demand an increased output of energy to cope with the situation. So you get out of distress into the realm of trauma when you're the energy expenditure is so high, so quick, that your body can no longer cope with the situation. When you say cope, you mean it just wants to sleep, eat ice cream, escape, survive. Okay. Yeah. Survive. So when somebody, their, their spouse dies, they're betrayed in the business, they have to move to another city, and they're sexually abused, the body shuts down. So the body literally goes like, the clock is sort of over. We have to conserve everything that we have. And to, to conserve this, we have to sort of take this situation and move it out. Have to put it into a little box and move it out. So Dan talked about this. Dan D-vo was talking about like fragments and stuff. Oh, soul fragmentation. The mind's trying to keep the body alive. Yeah. And so the mind's like, this is so much life change so quickly. We have to tie it off, move it so that the body can keep functioning. Wow. And then you have, you have trauma. Real trauma, man. That's intense.

Hey, welcome back to the. In one second, I wanted to give you an opportunity to get some free material from one of my, uh, consulting companies. All about this idea of how do you use your mind to predict and create the type of life that you feel called to have. This isn't weird, it's not weird new-age stuff, but God did design the brain to specifically interface appropriately into our life, into our surroundings. So this is, train is about an hour long. It's called Hold the Pose. And it really gets into the science of faith. What do it look like to be able to build faith through the mind and to build faith and resilience and staying power when life is difficult or you're not getting the things that you feel like you should have. It's a really cool training. We don't sell this training. This is actually a part of our pretty expensive, uh, client-only trainings. But because you're a listener of the show, I wanted to give you the opportunity to go through it. Uh, you can click the link somewhere on this, uh, video or go to wealthyconsultant.com, hold o, put in your information, we'll send you a link to this training. And if you practice it, it will work. Love you. So it's, this is the continuum. If you, if you go too far above this life change unit calculation, Mhm. Scientifically, your brain begins to fragment. And why is it fragmenting? Self-protection. Right. Interesting. I've never been to that level before. The last time I can think of like, quote unquote, being like traumatized for me, um, I remember it took me almost a year to come back to my, like, personality. I'm so curious on like, what you see is the, the parts and the pieces putting back together, um, especially over, for some people, severe stuff. People in my situation where like, a conversation that I had with somebody messed me up for like, nine months to a year. And I was a totally different person. I wouldn't even recognize. But, but I didn't, I took it so what they, I took what the person said so seriously that it just like destroyed me for some reason. And I was, oh, wait. Oh, man. I'm realizing I had a lot of change at once. Tonight, okay, this is, you're open. This is real. This is, I'm processing this real time. I'm connecting dots I've never connected before with stuff that I've dealt with. And anything you want me to go into, I will. I just know that takes time. But, okay. Interesting. Keep going unless you want to slow down. Nope. You're good.

So the, this is the interesting piece is the, the traumatic event is rarely the issue, right? It's just something that happened to us. And it maybe it was unfair and it sucked. What really becomes the issue, and this is where the cycle of trauma happens because the, let's, let's, let's jump lanes from just trauma as an event to trauma as a cycle where it's reprinting. Okay? It's burning energy reserves. It's causing you to like, misassess everything. The, the, the thing that causes that is not the traumatic issue. It's the thought processes that are feeding that loop. So it's very important, like, you can't just go like, deprogram trauma out of an individual. You can't just be like, oop, let's delete it. We actually have to look at the fuel that's going into that cycle because cycles require fuel. They can't just cycle indefinitely. Like our brains are not autonomous. Anybody who says our brains are autonomous doesn't understand the brain. Like our bodies are not autonomous. They can't just survive by themselves without anything else. So we have to, like, here's a basic example. You have to eat well. I, I eat yesterday. Okay. Eat again today. You have to eat every day. Like the body doesn't, the body requires fuel. It's got to keep going. The mind likewise requires fuel. Anything negative in your life that you cannot get to go away, we need to begin looking for the fuel. Mhm. Because we're not going to delete it, but, but we could change the fuel going into it and or we could turn the fuel off. And this will take some time. We'll have to work through it. If you want to work through it scientifically, it takes a long time. If you want to tackle it spiritually, it takes five seconds. But we have to find the fuel source. And in, in a trauma cycle, when somebody's like cycling, looping, looping, looping, the, the thought process we, we have attached to that event is the fuel source. And so it's looping, it's feeding itself. Yep. Through the way that we think. Does that make sense? Mhm. We can typically find these fuel sources really easy when they're highlighted. And they're highlighted when life becomes difficult again. When we're close to that, that nucleus that has been disattached and moved around into our subconscious. When we get close to that and we're, like, I'm starting to get triggered. Yeah. Then you can find it. It's highlighted. What am I believing about this thing? What are my thought processes? Well, it's going to break me. It's going to destroy me. It's, it's going to happen again. And, okay, there's the thought process. Let's follow that thread. Let's find out why you believe what you believe. Well, because this happened in the past. And we have to feed the brain new fuel in the middle of that situation. We have to feed the brain new fuel. Now, this is not, um, like, we're out of the realm of like, uh, cognitive behavioral therapy. We're, we're not in the realm of science right now. We're sort of in the realm of like, really, really new science, which is the way that your thoughts shape reality. And so we have to, I'm going to take you there. What's a better belief about this situation? This is why scripture is so cool because every scripture is literally designed as fuel. Mhm. It's designed as food. Like, hey, you're eating the wrong food. Eat scripture. Like, you're fueling yourself up with the wrong fuel. Fuel yourself with scripture. And so we begin to replace those fuel sinners with the word of God. And the word of God is new fuel. And when you put new fuel into an engine, it will destroy old traumatic events that are controlling you. Does that make sense? Y. When, when somebody gets here, you can usually tell because the brain is looking for justification. It's looking for, it always wants to, why did this happen? How many times do something happen to you and you're like, why is that happening to me? A lot. All the time. Mhm. In fact, it's typically the instinct of the human brain to go like, why is this happening? Why did they do that? Why did that business not work? Why, why, why, why, why, why, why? And the brain loves this question because the brain, if it can answer why, it can control it. It can control it. If you know why something happened, you can prevent it in the future or you can create it again. MH. So we're, we're hunting for that. When, when somebody is answering this question over and over and over, and the first time the brain answers this question the wrong way, you feel this guilt that happens. Why did this happen? Because you didn't say anything. Why did this happen? Because you weren't pretty enough. Why did this happen? Because you were too pretty. Why did this happen? Because you weren't smart enough. Why did this happen? Because I was too smart. It doesn't matter what the answer is. What, what the kind of answer it is, is what produces guilt. And people who have guilt are always going to create what is in their past in their future because they begin to feel that they deserved it. What is the more, and you're saying the more helpful response is like going through scripture? Yeah. Look, like you're, this this episode is challenging you more than any other episode that I can remember. Challenging? Or it's hitting a lot. Hitting? It's not challenging, it's more hitting. Yeah. It's, yeah, it's heavy. I'm like having to just not make, make this episode go four hours long, even though I feel like some people want that. Yeah. I think it's, it, what it's hitting me with is the things that you know, but not the things you believe. Because if you believe something or you understand it, you would do it. And we know the verse so well, God works all things for our good. But from a cultural perspective, we do not believe it whatsoever. Because we're just so, just like, oh, and Satan's really attacking me, man. It's rough. John Chris is making fun of people who are like, I'm just trying to lose weight and Satan's really coming after me, man. He's putting those Crispy Cream things up. No, man, it's not Satan. He doesn't care enough. But like, we, we don't, we don't believe that. We don't believe that God works all things for our good. He, we don't believe that the things he's putting us through is for our maturity, for our good. We don't believe that in the times of death, testing, or discipline, those are signs of sonship. Like the moment that I under Jeremy Riddle was the one that introduced me to this idea, by the way, like the discipline is a form of love. It's a form of, hey, you're actually in the family and I love you enough to do that. I can't tell you how many times that's broken me over and over and over again. And it's the same thing of like, I know, I know, I know, I know, but I don't believe it. Well, I don't. Most things God's not putting in your life. God's really rarely, if ever, putting traumatic things in your life to try to train you. I don't think that that's accurate. I don't think that's how it works. Is that what you're getting from what I'm saying? A little bit? Like, sometimes God gives you things just to grow you as a sign of sonship. Um, yeah, but typically, like, no, typically not. That's, that's the autonomy of the universe that got built. So, okay, let's, it's out of Hebrews. That's where I'm pulling it from. Let's say this. Well, find your verse. Sure. I will reinterpret your verse for you if I need to. Okay. You're talk, if you're talking about God disciplines those he loves. Yeah. That's easy. Yeah. Done. But God doesn't train us through trauma. God's not putting sexual abuse in the person's life so that they can learn. Yeah. That doesn't happen, right? God's not putting the death of a loved one in your life so that you can get stronger. Mhm. And if we believe that, we've corrupted the relationship with the father. Mhm. And so that, that is part of it too. Like, what do you believe about the situation is more important than the situation. Does that make sense? Yeah, it does. Small little nuance that's really important. No, it is really important. Like, for example, it's not like we just did the prayer episode. It's not like if, if I don't pray, God's not going to come through for me. That's, it's not that relationship with, with our dad, right? I don't, Kate doesn't have to like say a passcode and say thank you a certain way for me to feed her, right? Um, but when you grow into maturity, you realize that there's, dude, the Bible is our, is our cheat code into how the rules work. It's not God, it's just he built everything and he gave us the, you, the user manual for it. And so imagine me having this relationship with my body where I was like, I am so frustrated with my body because if I don't go to the gym, it knows and it punishes me because I'm not doing the right thing and it wants to hurt me. That's weird. It's just like, bro, no. Here are the rules. If you eat a bunch of Crispy Cream donuts, Oreos, and never go to the gym, it's just the rules at work. You're getting fat. It's not that your body is trying to punish you. It's just the way the body works. Similarly with the spiritual laws that God has built. And now gets, he showed us, here's how it works, bro. If you put gasoline into your tummy, it's not going to work well. It's not how was designed. People are like, well, I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that he's going to punish me for drinking gasoline. I'm angry, so I'm just going to do it. Okay. Your death follows. Death follows sin. That's sin. That's what it is. It's not like God wants to take my freedom away so I'm not allowed to do this stuff or he's going to punish me. Nope, bro. That's just drinking gasoline. Like, you shouldn't do it. It's not in the design. It's not in the manual. Why shouldn't we do it? You weren't built that way. Prove it. It's in the Bible. We have an owner's manual. Well, I like autonomy. Well, your life is going to be very short. Bottom line, it's not that religious. It's just like, hey, well, does that mean I can't go to heaven? Nope. Not what it means. Not what it means. You want to like drink gasoline because you're an idiot, then you'll salvation. Thank God is bigger than that. This is why people are so confused about the religion episode. They're like, well, what about all this stuff? Like, I won't inherit the kingdom of God, blah, blah, blah. That's called power. For the kingdom of God is not one of talk, but of power. You will not inherit that if you're participating in all this other stupid stuff. They are misinterpreting the scripture. They're like, no, you can't go to heaven if you're doing this other stuff. Well, then you're going to hell. And so am I. So is every pastor. Yep. Do not be dumb. Know what it means to inherit the kingdom of God. That is power. Here's the user manual. We can't walk in power for doing all of these other stuff. It's a user manual. We need to obey it because that's how we were built to do it. And there are these corruptors that come in and they'll start slowly, subtly shifting our view of the world because we're drinking gasoline. You drink gasoline for too long, you can't breathe anymore. Mhm. What does that mean? Don't drink gasoline. As they say, F around to find, find out. F-F-A. Yeah. Wait, F-F-O. Yeah. They're trying to rename do to F-F-O. Like the, oh, my financial administration of something, something. He loves the funniest with naming stuff. And then people don't catch until later. Okay. So our belief, belief systems, how do we audit them? What does something mean? What does it mean when you went through, like, with, with the woman who cheated on me? What does it mean? Well, for a long time, it meant that I did not look at the signs. I should have seen it coming. It was my fault. It was my fault. Maybe I wasn't attractive enough. Maybe it's simply that she was trying to tell me, but I didn't catch it. And so then our first couple years of marriage, you see that belief just empowering the reprinting of that trauma. There were signs I didn't see them. I will not miss them this time. So everything's a sign. Oh boy. With, with me. Yep. Same thing with Kate. There were signs I didn't catch it. So everything's a sign. Everything is pointing to this trauma. So my R-A-S is only looking for substantiation to validate this idea that I'm going to lose her again. That my wife is going to betray me just like the first woman did. This business failed. There were signs I should have seen it. So now everything is a sign that the business is failing. And it's a self-fulfilling prophecy because if nobody wants to spend time with you because you're a, a, a Debbie Downer all the time and no one's ever doing a good job, you're going to lose your A players. And then every business you start will fail just like the last one because nobody likes you. You're creating it. It's just created over and over and over. Yep. You okay? Mhm. Uh, this is where you can jump into like CBT or like cognitive behavioral therapy. And cognitive behavioral therapy is really good at identifying what they call distorted thinking patterns. So self-blame is the number one distorted thinking power. Self-blame. This is not taking responsibility for something. This is not accountability. This is the belief that you are the one reason why this happened. You are the cause of the abuse. Self-blame to an extreme. It's, it's a perversion of responsibility. So you hear some, sometimes this is a great statement. Everything in your life is the product of your choices. Heard that a million times. Okay, that's good. Let's own that. But not everything in your life is caused because of you. We can't believe that. That's taken too far. That perpetuates trauma cycles because if we believe that we deserved it when we were 12, we will believe that we deserve it when we're 40. And we're just over and over and over and over. When you see people with the pattern of just like abusive marriage, another abusive marriage, another abusive marriage, Mhm. This is self-blame at work. They suddenly over time believe that they deserve a marriage that is abusive. Yep. Okay. Yeah. Catastrophization. This is another like distorted thinking, which like everything becomes a crisis. And it reduces typically the, the age that you were at when this traumatic event happened. When you get close to that little box where it's hidden, your entire cognitive structure will reduce itself to match that age. So for example, if a child almost drowns when they're seven, right? Traumatizing. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. If they don't get in the water again until they're 35, they're no longer a 35-year-old. They're a seven-year-old when they get back in that water. Yeah. Yeah. If somebody was betrayed by a, a business partner when they were 24, every time they feel like somebody's betraying them, they're now suddenly 24 again. Mhm. They're going back to that because they haven't re, they haven't given themselves an opportunity to reprint. Mhm. So here's AIT, another example. Um, I remember one time waking up, it was January 7th or 8th of 2023. Um, we were in the middle of the FTC stuff and, um, the person that I had put in charge of the old businesses to exit and do something different, like two months before that, three months before that, had had called me and asked if he could shut down the companies. And that was super sad for me because I had spent my whole career building these companies that I really liked. I wasn't running away from them. Like, I wanted somebody to grow them. I don't want somebody to shut them down. Yep. And I remember waking up one morning and the high, um, for whatever reason, that day was like 7776. It was 2023. It was a really warm day, so we heated the pool up. And Kate wanted to swim, so we went out, we swam. And in the middle of January, was awesome. But my, the season of my life that I was in was was traumatizing. Like, really, really traumatic. Every day I would wake up, I would just be convinced that we weren't going to make it. We had to sell everything. Uh, financially traumatized. Like, all of it. It was just a nasty soup of of distress. Okay. With me. Mhm. Everything goes away. Everything gets better. Two years later. Okay. Yep. So very recently, if you do the math on this, was like three weeks ago or four weeks ago or something, right? We had a warmer day in January. I wake up, I look at the weather, traumatized all day. M. It all just swirled back in because the last memory of that, I was in such a bad season. And because I felt something as simple as the weather, this is, people think that you're crazy. You're not crazy. You're not losing your mind. You're, brain recognized for it, misrecognized that, like, what does this mean? 2023. It means that when we're in January and the weather's warm, it means life is really bad and it's about to get worse. For whatever reason. And Lindsay knows this. We talked about it. Um, I'm just like strung out the whole day, stressed, anxious, like something's about to go wrong. And it took me all day until was like 3:15 in the afternoon to figure out by reading through my journals, this is too similar to the last time that I noticed this. And so I'm having a trauma response. And I am recognizing everything in my life as a threat. Our businesses are healthy. Our staff is healthy. Everything's growing. We're good. But I had a conversation with one of our team members to make sure that we weren't running out of money. And she's like, what? No. Where's this coming from? It's like, I don't know. It just feels like maybe we're not seeing something. It's 10:30 in the morning. It's like, I just feel like we're not seeing something. Something feels really off. Can you just double check and can you audit the books and can you like look at stuff? And that afternoon, I called her back and I was just like, yep, we all got a little bit of trauma coming out of us. I think this is why this happened because the last time my body remembers this, dude, I was having to frontload hundreds of 100,000 a month just to pay for a stupid unnecessary fight with the government. Yeah. As you can see, this happens even with somebody who's like, not, you're not crazy. Your body is just taking over. It's responding to something without your permission. How many times do we wake up, but we don't have the self-awareness to realize this is a reprint? This is a deja vu moment. My body thinks that this is happening again. And therefore, I'm like, just flailing. This is too vulnerable. You wanted me to get more vulnerable? Here you go. This is great. This is it. So how do we fix that? I, I replaced an old memory with a new one. It's, it's going to reprint no matter what. We get to decide if we're going to reprint it with an extension of our past or if we're going to reprint it with a new memory. So mark my words on this. Every rough season you have, pay attention to the season. Pay attention to the, to the community that you have. You're going to have to reprint that in the future with something better. You're not just going to be able to be like, Superman, deal with it, unless you want to venture into the term of the realm of psychopathy. If you want to be a psychopath, you can program yourself to do that. That's not healthy. But if you're going to be a, a functioning, empathetic, fully turned on human being, you will be required to reprint whatever is happening right now with a better experience later. Here's a super basic, dumb example of this. Have you ever gone to a restaurant with your wife, got into a fight, and then one or both of you, you don't want to go back to that restaurant? MH. Has nothing to do with the restaurant, bro. The food was probably delicious. It was probably good, great at some point. You should go back to that restaurant and override that with a new memory. This is as basic as you can get, but these things are fractal. They scale up and they scale down. Yep. So when you're in a bad situation, you will have to be comfortable with going through something similar, not similar bad situation, but the ingredients have got to be similar. Reprint a new memory on top of it. This is why the, the worst thing that you can do if you're dealing with anxiety is avoid whatever is making you feel anxious. Because in avoidance, we don't get to reprint the memory. So the mechanics of our brains don't update. Interesting, huh? Interesting. Dude, this is like, you're putting words to things that I've, I've never thought to put words to. We did do the restaurant thing. We, we actually were just at that restaurant last night. The first time we were going to go there was a little bit traumatizing because it was not good. H. I do have a question. Okay. I want, basically, I want to know from a mentor side, like, when you hear me say this, or you like, man, is this an unhealthy way of looking at it, or is it healthy? I've had moments like what you're talking about where you're like, not obviously everyone has their own level of thing, but when I've had those moments of like trauma of like freaking out, the thing that grounds me is sometimes I literally just have to sit, catch myself really quick, and just go, God, this isn't mine in the first place. This thing that I'm stressed about, it's not my thing. It's Your battle. It's not mine. Like, and I imagine myself being on a, a game of checkers and I'm pushing all of my pieces to His side of the board and I just go, I will do whatever You tell me to do. And the only way I can describe that is like surrender. Sometimes that looks like worship. Sometimes that looks like crying. Um, sometimes it's frustration, but it's like, I'm letting God take all the pressure off of me in that moment for me to be able to get through it. Healthy or unhealthy? Healthy. That's level 350 on the levels of energy. That's, that's acceptance. Where you get into acceptance, which is the acceptance is the place where victimhood, which is the overabundance of, um, it's the personification of like self-guilt, is replaced by healthy responsibility. Mhm. And the fact that you can organize, like, what's my responsibility and what's not, means you're at the level of acceptance. Mhm. Uh, and submission follows right after there. You're just putting it into God. The Bible says, cast your cares upon the Lord because he cares about you. MH. Means basically, you're taking the responsibility and you're categorizing it into God's hands and accepting whatever he tells you to do with it. Yep. The only time I don't do that is when I, I really don't want to talk to Holy Spirit and I'm just like, nope, this is a me thing. Which happens all the time too. Happens to both of, all the time. If you're really saved, then you're going to have the same things. Y. Um, yeah. Okay, let's talk about how to deal with this. Yeah, let's go. Like a little bit of just like practical, and then let's go spiritual, and then we'll wrap up. How long have we been going? Uh, we're at like 126. Beautiful. This will be a shorter episode, which I'm thankful for. Um, first is we got to build this self-awareness. We have to. I was actually teaching this on with a guy, um, not, not too long ago, because entrepreneurs are notorious about being able to figure out what the game pieces on are on the board and control them. Mhm. And so like, we, like, you're the same way, like, we like to have like, what's the board look like? Who's on the board? We're trying to draw connection points between things. We're, we're constantly, we're, we're almost obsessive compulsive about like, how do I grow? How does it work? How, how, how, how? We're a little bit less instinctively wired to think why? Because most, most like true-blooded entrepreneurs, we're just like, stuff happens all the time. Why? There's less utility in why than how. So let's figure out how we kind of divert usually to like, how did this happen? Right? How do I prevent this? How do I do that? Yep. Uh, but what we entrepreneurs, myself included, will fail to put our s, our consciousness on the board as a piece. We want to look at everything else. We want to look at like the economy, our team, the market, Facebook, YouTube algorithm, like everything up. But we're not, the most significant piece on the board is us. Ourselves. How are we thinking? How are we speaking? We just don't even remember it because we're doing so much stuff so quickly. We just fail to recognize like, we're a legitimate ingredient in this cake. And if we're not correct, then it's not the market's fault. Like, we just suck. Like, we messed it up, you know? So we have to build, first, look backwards. We need to begin to build our grids. What is a grid? Think about like a grid, um, like on a sonar type of thing, and it's going kind of around this little thing and it's picking up sonar. MH. Things you can see somebody's coming at you, somebody's going away. Our belief systems are like this. So we have this sonar thing. We look at this grid, and we have our belief systems, which change how people interact with us, which changes how, uh, energy moves around us. There's a force field around us that our beliefs are kind of controlling. That's us. We're controlling that. So you're like, every time I walk into this, this place where I'm like reaching for something, something bad happens. Like, why? Well, what's the common denominator? Let's take it through the first time it was like, some, this team member. The second time it was that team member. Then the third time it was like a church. Oh, you're the common denominator. Got it. So have you assessed that? Have you audited that? No. No, I'm, I don't think this is my fault. Well, you're going to fail perpetually because you're the, your ship is always on that sonar, every single time. And you have never looked at it. You know, like, let's practice some, like maturity here. Let's look at ourselves. And so I'll look backwards. Journaling helps with this. Journaling is such a great tool to to figure out like, okay, if, if you're going to audit yourself from this day a year ago, MH. Do you have it? Let's see. Oh, my. Are you using Day One? Yes. And Day One's been updating for four hours on my phone and I don't know why. Here's one year ago. Here's one year ago. Um, 2024, 6:53 AM. One hour too late, but I'm still making progress. And there's a picture of me in the gym. There's a picture of our pool. The pool's uncovered and it's got the bubbler on. Let's look at, uh, two years ago. 2023. The first entry in my journal. Two years ago, Psalm 92:12. Look how you've made all of your lovers to flourish like palm trees, each one growing in victory and standing with strength, even in old age. They will stay fresh, bearing luscious, that's a good word, fruit and abiding faithfully. So this stuff takes time. And we just started the deep ending February of 2024. Well, this is February of 2023. And I'm trying to use scripture to rewrite things that we've talked about. This scripture, the righteous will flourish like palm trees, planting next to the river of our God. They will produce fruit in every season. This is, this is stuff that's Psalm 91:3. Here's another one. This in, this is in two years ago. He will rescue you from every hidden trap of the enemy and he will protect you from false accusation. Well, I was going through the FTC. That's a pretty appropriate scripture. Let's go three years ago. What do we have? Just a picture of me sitting in our sunroom. Let's go four years ago. Recap. Did not study. Did not write. Allowed a business to stress me out. Felt great Monday and Tuesday. Low income. Personally, it was a bad month. Tomorrow I've got to go visit the old days and figure out what went wrong. Get rest. So I'm, I'm auditing my, myself. So I can go through and I can say, look, here's what my belief systems have contributed to my life. We want to take this whole thing of like, why did this happen? Why did this happen? How did this happen? How did this happen? And replace it with, when is the last time this happened? And what happened after the last time? When's the last time this happened to you? And what did your belief systems do for you? And you'll be able to find situations where you felt the exact same way two years ago. And what happened after that? Awesome stuff happens. M. Great. You're going to be okay. What does that change about how I feel right now? It converts it from a penalty to an asset. It's good. When I feel this way, because this is what happens afterwards. M. Or we can go back, we find here's the, here's how I felt the last time this happened and here's what I did and it made it worse. So we need to audit that. Change that belief system. We have to build a grid. We build grids by going backwards. And usually what I find when I go backwards is I'm getting crystal clear clarity on how the things that don't feel good in the moment are actually really significant in contributing to my growth. It feels rough right now, but three years ago I felt the exact same way. And what happened after that? Awesome stuff happens. M. What do it mean when I don't feel that great? It's a good thing. This is how I learned brokenheartedness. When you go into my journals and I feel just like, I'm just sad, I'm just a little brokenhearted, I always, always have within a day or two, very clear instruction from God. This is how I started tying this together. Oh, the Lord is near to the brokenhearted. Duh. I've seen it in my own life. Like, when I'm brokenhearted, God speaks to me. This is how we do it. We got to look backwards. So if you have no record, start that now. The best time to start is when I started, which is January of 2015. The second best time to start is right now. M. Just start it now because you're going to have to keep a record of what God does when you feel good and when you feel bad. Okay? Yep. The second thing is you learn to use. We're going to pray about trauma in a second, but learn to use healthy community as medicine. Healthy community is a medicinal device. It's why Galatians talks about like, carry your, carry your burdens together, together, together. Like the, the early church was always like, yo, get into rooms together. Y. And you, you know who could write a really long list of problems that I have with the American Church? Me. I'll volunteer for that right now. Give you a hundred things. But I'm at church all the time. Yeah. I love the people that I have. Some of my best friends that are at church. And they know when stuff is going wrong. They know when, like, I'm in community. There's a community aspect. Same that helps you as a medicine. M. And people, people can literally, like, I'll talk to somebody. I talked to somebody about this about, uh, three weeks ago. I was on my, on the way to pick Kate up from school. And he's a friend of mine from, he, I know him from church, but community in general, it doesn't have to be a church community. It can be whatever you want it to be. You need community though. And he fact-checked something that I was thinking about that was incorrect. Dude, it's medicine because people around you, they can see things you can't see, especially when you're in trauma. So you just have to have somebody to talk to about this stuff. Like, hey, I'm feeling this way. And this is really bad, man. This is really bad. This is really bad. This is not good. This is really bad. And somebody who knows you is like, doesn't, doesn't seem really bad. Are you sure that you're okay? And then you get, you get attribution for like, maybe this is trauma. Maybe this is my past trying to reach out into my future and take hold of it. Does it make sense? Yeah. You're, you're implementing basically what Paul talks about of like spiritual fathers, spiritual mothers. And some, like obviously some of its community, just like friends, but also like having people you can also go to with this stuff is really helpful. Sure. It depends on, I think, your level of maturity for sure. Like, yeah, who is, I mean, who is Paul's spiritual father? That's the, that's the thing. We don't J. Yes, the disciples discipled him and trained him for.

14 years. They really just argued with him for 14 years. But sort of, you mean? I mean, before he went on the road, he was getting trained for a long time, okay? I mean, that's the closest thing I found. I've, I've looked into this recently. That before he even went on the road with, uh, what was it, Barnabas? Barnabas, he was 14 years in training. Like, dude was fathered for a long time before he went out on the road on his own. But yeah, it's like, you need friends and you need people that are just ahead of you and can help you. I just wouldn't call them fathers. I would call them mentors. Sure, but that's probably a cultural thing. Like, yeah, I would consider you like a quote-unquote spiritual father for me. I'm not, not a father. I'm just, I'm a mentor. Yeah, you, you like, you like, you're like, "Hey, I'm your dad, bro." I'm parsing words, but it's pretty important. Like, I'm not, like, using a word like "father." Yeah, like if you don't have a relationship with a good father, then just having a spiritual father is going to be traumatic. Again, this is so it's like, mentor helps. Paul used that word, spiritual fathers, but that also is a different culture. It's like having mentors. Yeah, I get you. I get you. Just being careful on that. Same with the teacher thing. Like, I'm, I don't like it when people say that I'm a teacher. I don't like it because from a cultural frame, that means certain implications. It's implication. I don't care. Like, I, I really don't. Like, if you get value from it and you talk to, if you want to talk to Jesus after these episodes, then I'm doing my job. But like, I just want to talk about what God's teaching me. God's my teacher. So I'm not like some pastor teacher. Like, I'm just learning from God, and then this is what God's teaching me. So if you learn from this, you're God's your teacher. God told me, I told you. God's the teacher. Like, I'm not, I'm not the middleman here.

MH. It's not necessary, you know what I'm saying? Mhm. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe I'm triggered. Who knows? Community is medicine. Yeah. So like, look back, build a grid, audit your belief systems. This is why when we teach on this stuff, like our, of, we have, um, we have the deep end of an, but not that one. The, um, the business of an MA, is that the one that's happening right after? Right after it's all about belief reprogramming. We need a full day. I need eight hours to take you through like real belief reprogramming because you can even see in this episode how many things are just getting cut out. Oh my word. Yes. We don't have time for it. Like, we have to go back into like, literally, we have to start with your epigenetics. Like, we have to audit those, and then we have to, we have to define what meaning even means. What does something mean? What does it mean to mean something? Mr. Jordan Peterson, nice to meet you. No, no, no. If we don't understand, if we don't understand what it means to mean something, we can't change it, right? Yeah. So our words, words for example, like, what is this coffee? Yeah. It's not a cup with coffee. It's just coffee. That's what we call it. The words that we use are just containers for things that we're trying to mean. We're trying to mean something. So how we self-assess, how we self-describe. I did this, uh, um, I didn't tell you about this. Um, you know, Dr. Koochini is on this cruise thing, and so he's got this group that meets every Monday. A couple weeks ago, he's like, "Hey, can you come teach at this group?" Said, "Sure, nice, love to." So it's supposed to be on for an hour, like two hours. It's fine. It was great. But there's this young woman who's prophetic. I can tell instantly that she was prophetic. Why? Because she was nervous. And I know that if you're a prophetic person, you feel the nerves of the people around you more than any other office. You don't feel the nervous, anxious energy as an apostle. You don't really feel the nervous, anxious energy as a teacher. But as a prophet, you're always running interference because what you have to say could get you killed. And so it's programmed. Wow. And so she's super nervous, and she's like, "I am super nervous and I'm just shaking." And it's like, "How do I fix this?" Well, the first thing that you'll notice is your body will stop being so nervous when you stop talking about how nervous your body is all the time. Your words, your words are prophetic because they're controlling you. The way you feel even right now. And so the meaning behind that for her was different than what her body was interpreting. She thought it meant that I'm just explaining how I feel. Nope. Not in this scenario. There is a time for you to explain how you feel with, like, nobody's going to correct you on it. But most times, you're not explaining how you feel, you're complaining on a loop. You're a broken record of how tired you are. Shut up. You want to stop being tired? Stop saying how tired you are because your body is being confused. It has no idea whether it's tired or not. It just thinks that it should be tired because you said it. Careful, careful. Don't just say everything that you feel all the time. It's not helping you. Well, this thing just traumatized me so bad. Well, let's stop. Let's assess. Let's be interested in healing and let's begin to speak in a way that our body knows we want to heal from it. Our body's trying to do what we're asking it to do. Yeah. That's an aside. The third, let's look at this from the lens of post-traumatic stress versus post-traumatic growth. PTSD is when your body grows because of it. Distress is be, is when your body shrinks because of it. Your body begins conserving energy, conserving resources. The clock is turned on. Post-traumatic stress is when somebody comes out of a traumatic situation and their body never stops shrinking because of it. Their body still got its clock running. It's still running its clock like, you got 7 days and 14 hours and 17 minutes to die. And so somebody who's coming from PTSD from war, they hear something that sounds like this, body turns a clock back on. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not what that means. But our body has turned on a clock because the last time this happened, it had to. We can convert this to post-traumatic growth, which we just take it and we bump the meaning of it down into the into the area of distress, not distress. MH. We just take it and we reframe it. When this happens in this environment, it doesn't mean this, it means this. We can't get it to go away. We're always going to have some form or function of our body that is aware that something happened when I was a kid, and therefore it could happen again. We don't want to delete that because we want wisdom. We have to have our past to have wisdom. Mhm. But we do want to bump it down so that it no longer means you're going to physically die. It no longer means that you're going to lose everything that you have. It no longer means that your life is at risk. It means something a little bit less than that. That's when it kicks into post-traumatic growth, which is the story of the Bible. The story of the Bible is converting people from post-traumatic stress to post-traumatic growth. That's the redemptive arc of scripture. Everything in your past can be redeemed. Romans 8:28, God will use everything for the good. This is the psalmist saying, "In kindness, you go into my past and you correct the mistakes of my youth." He's talking about redemption. When this happens, I don't have to respond the way I responded last time. I can be redeemed. I can respond differently. It doesn't mean that this is never going to happen again. It means that the situation might feel the same, but I am different, and therefore it's not going to touch me the way that it did last time. Yeah. The step there seems to be, slow down, like you're thinking. Yeah. Right? Yeah. So Matthew 34:18, read this when you're feeling triggered. Matthew 11:28, or Psalms 34:18, Matthew 11:28, 1 Corinthians 1:3, Philippians 4:6. Read these things when you're triggered. Begin slowly replacing the fuel of like your, your RAs and your past. Replace the fuel with the word of God because when you replace the fuel with the word of God, all of a sudden you see redemption start to happen. You should talk about inputs and outputs. We don't have time. Oh, you just said it, man. We don't have time, but we can do another one. We can do more episodes. I know, but you should just put it, plug do like a two-minute spiel. Give us the tailor W two-minute spiel. Inputs, outputs. And I'll tell you what, because it's making such a big difference on me right now because you reminded me of last week and it was a huge awareness point. Go. Come on. All right, we'll do another episode on input. It's more than two minutes. It's like, it's a, it's at least 75, 80 minutes of teaching. Let's pray. Let's pray. If you have felt like you have been in a, in a season of things not working out, if you have come through damaging cycles, if you, um, if you feel fear but you don't know why, there shouldn't be fear, but it's there and you don't know why, if you feel like no matter what you do, you're just constantly getting up to the edge and then it's breaking down right before you cross over the threshold. Let's deal with the spirit of trauma now. There, if you need, if you need real help with trauma in your body, you go talk to somebody who's trained in psychosomatics and psychotherapists. Like, they're very good people who are very well trained and they love people. They love to help. I know someone. I know two psychotherapists right now and I talk to them both frequently. Like, not like, probably one I talk to them every three or four months. Another I talk to probably every six weeks. Not as a therapy session, I just talk to them because they can see signs. They can see it. They, they can, they're, they're tuned to be like, that's trauma. That's not, that's not actually you. That's something that's, that's the 12-year-old version of you. So let's deal with that. All right. It's a wonderful. You should look for someone who is trained on this, who is not super new age, and they can work with you through that. But if you want to deal with the spirit of trauma and the spiritual baggage that comes with a dangerous, damaging situation, we're going to pray for this. Cool, cool. We should transcribe this too. We can put it in the episode. Okay. In the plane on the way to Utah, when, when Holy Spirit told me, you have not dealt with the spirit of trauma. You've dealt with it functionally. What he means by that is in your body, you've dealt with it, and psychologically, you've worked through it. You haven't dealt with the spirit of trauma. I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "There's a spirit of trauma that will try to get into your belief systems and trigger you when there's no reason to be triggered." And it's time for you to rebuke that. And I said, "Well, I don't know how." And he said, "Put on some worship music. Get into a state where you're worshipful." So this is territory all over again. Like, God will speak, but you have to have the atmosphere cultivated for it. One of the best ways to cultivate an atmosphere where God will speak to you is you begin worshiping him, whether you have music or not. So don't just start with this prayer. Like, get into this, get into this posture. God, I love you so much. Jesus, thank you for dying for me. Thank you for being my, my hero. Thank you for following me to, to the craziest places that you didn't have to follow me through. I just worship you. I give you, I give you my life. Like, I, I want you to be the, the throttle for what I do and don't do. And I just praise you. And I thank you that you are good, and that you are king, and that you are my Lord. I thank you that you are present when I feel like you're not. I don't ever have to worry about if you are here. You're ever present. Even when I feel like I'm in danger, you begin to worship, and as you worship, your atmosphere clicks in. God is there, but now your atmosphere is conducive to hear him. Make sense? Mhm. You're actually praying from a different place. When your atmosphere changes, it's, it's a little bit confusing, but it's not as important, like what you pray for. It's more important where are you praying from? Are you praying from an atmosphere of worship? There was a prayer that somebody took. We're going to talk about this. There was a prayer that somebody took from this show about a year ago, and I don't know anything about this organization or who is in charge, but somebody sent me a video, and apparently there's some drama, and this person prayed it. And I don't know what's going on. Like, the company is called Daystar or something, or Daylight, or, is it Daystar? Is it Daystar? Uh, what's her name? Do you know her name? Joanie Lamb. Joanie. Okay. Um, somebody that I know really closely, apparently was speaking to her about repentance or something. It said, "You need to go watch this prayer from this." I think we sent, he probably sent the short. I think he, yeah, it was the one with Dr. Michael Koochini. And, um, she prayed it, but, you know, like, she, you don't pray like warfare prayers against people. No. And I don't know if this is what she was doing or not. I just know there's a bunch of drama about it now. That when I saw it, I didn't like it. I was kind of like, "What's going on?" Because you can't just take something that is a prayer against spiritual protection, and people think she's praying against people. And I'm like, "This is a problem." People are calling it witchcraft. They're calling it witchcraft. And the reason that it's a problem is because you will never be able to curse someone when you're in an atmosphere of worship. When you're in an atmosphere of worship, you don't care about anyone else. You're not praying against people. Like, you're not upset with people. You're not, like, you're not even bothered by them. And so when we do part two about prayer, there's a level that you can get to in spiritual authority that God will never let you get to if you have unforgiveness in your heart. And anytime you are worried about vengeance, you have unforgiveness. God will never trust a person with power who has not forgiven everyone else. And so protect yourself by getting into this state. You do not want to be praying prayers that God fuses witchcraft, and that's a massive problem. Your life will unravel quickly. You don't want to be in that place. So you got to get into worship first. You have to get your heart right first. And when I say, "Where you're praying from," it's your motive. Clean out your motives, and you're just obsessed with Jesus. You're just worshiping Jesus. Does that make sense? Is that appropriate? Sure. So you get into this worship, and you, then he gave me literally, like, I just started writing for about 30 seconds, and all of this came out, and this was the prayer. And I started crying. And I, I sent it to Apostle YY. I said, "It, I feel like Jesus gave me this prayer." She started crying. This will hit you. If you're actually feeling trauma, you need to get into a place of worship and pray this out loud by yourself. With some, don't pray this on camera on national television. What, what's wrong with people? Like, these prayers, God gives them to me, I pray them by myself, I don't record them. First, enough of that. Here it is. You good? I rebuke the spirit of trauma in Jesus's name. I repent for allowing my past to become so significant to me that it can move my heart without my permission. God, I reset the boundary lines and I choose to disagree with anything that lied to me about my past or my future. God, please take control of how I feel. I give you control of calendars. I give you control of seasons and timelines. And I no longer wish to lead myself anywhere without your presence. Please help me by reminding me that you are in my future and it looks better than I can imagine. God, your plans are valid and tested and perfect. I let go of any memory or emotion that does not agree with the truth that you are good and you are creating good things for me. Science bends to submit to you. Psychology bends to submit to you. All things and all knowledge exists to support you and to accomplish what you want to do. And anything that I have believed that does not honor your sovereignty, I disengage with right now. Please help me, Holy Spirit, because I do not know how to do this, but you said that I can ask for wisdom and you will give it to me. I ask for mercy to protect me, and I ask for mercy to break me out of the prison of my past experiences and past events. To the spirit of anxiety, fear, worry, trauma, and disappointment, you must leave. Not today, or not tomorrow, not this evening, but right now. Your passports to my mind and body are no longer valid. They have been expired, and you are under orders from the courts of Heaven to leave and to not return. Jesus, please advocate for me. Please enforce this decree for me. I choose you over my intellect. I choose you over my understanding, and I choose you over everything else. The spirit of God is welcome in me and through me. So may any other idols, spirits, or deities be terminated in the name of Jesus. Amen. Pray it until it works. Yeah. Are you hungry again? H. You hungry? I can eat whatever. Just landing the plate. Any last minute questions? Well, I tried to ask one about inputs and outputs. It doesn't sound like you want to answer it. It's because I don't have time to answer it. D. Okay. So, no, this is, I think my only thing is, can we do a part two? That's point. This is, this is huge. And as a statement, I'll just say, like, the more that we understand this, the more we understand unity, the more we understand love, and the closer we get to the love of Jesus, the more that we start to see Kingdom, like we see the Kingdom of Heaven brought to Earth. And I think this is a big piece of it. Not because it's an emphasis on trauma, but because it provides a route of empathy for people. And not only does it teach us about ourselves, but it teaches us about everybody else. And it teaches us about the heart of Jesus, which is healing. And it's not just healing the body, it's about healing the mind, the spirit, and helping people come into a place of of wholeness. So it's really good. Really, really good. All right. See you guys next week.