Transcription
[Music] and what's sad is it could have been easily prevented. Easily prevented are the few simple tools and techniques that the Bible gives us. That's why when I teach on marriage, I don't do this pop stuff, Christian stuff. I bring it from the Bible because God created humans. No one knows human nature better than God. And I've said this before, God doesn't fix marriages. God fixes people.
[Music]
Well, good morning everyone. Good to see you. Uh, I know Lisa's already done a shout out to uh, Sarah and Amy, but I just also want to say what fantastic children's pastors we have. Kids camp was wonderful. We had great volunteers, very, very successful, uh, able to share Jesus Christ with these kids in a fun way, in an engaging way. And it is really neat to see. Also, our prayers go out to uh, President Trump. You know, we were driving home from Tulsa yesterday, Lisa and I, when we got a text that there's an assassination attempt. And you know, it's kind of sad that our, our nation is so polarized. But we also need to understand that we're living in a broken world. We are living in a world where the majority of wars have started as a result of assassination. World War I was the result of an assassination. World War II, of course, is just a continuation of World War I. But anytime you study this, you're going to see that this happens. Uh, I, I do think there needs to be some changes. Uh, Kimberly Cheel, who's the head of the uh, Secret Service, she needs to be fired. She needs to be fired. I want to shout out to the Secret Service men who put themselves on, on the line. Gosh, with that, a second, they had him covered and put themselves as human shields. But let me tell you, here at Cornerstone Fellowship, we have drones. And allow someone to climb up on a roof just 400 feet away to be able to take a shot at a presidential candidate because you didn't do your assessment right, and because you didn't have enough people there. Let me tell you, that is just incompetence. And I tell you, we need to wake up and need to start praying because we're living in a time where the greatest sign of the end is deception. So, having said all that, we'll pray and get started.
About love. Father, we thank you for your goodness, Lord. Even in the midst of all the evil and the bad and all the turmoil and the division and the strife, we thank you that you're still the same. Your promises are still the same. Your word never changes. Truth never changes. So God, I pray that as I speak, Lord, your word, so I bring about the truth, that people would be able first of all to handle the truth, secondly be receptive to the truth, and God, desire for the truth to sanctify, sanctify them, to change them. Anoint me to speak the word and anoint them to have ears to hear. I ask and I pray this in Christ's name. Amen.
Well, good news this morning. I'm going to finish our series on the characteristics of love that's listed in 1 Corinthians chapter 13, verses 4-8. Now, in this portion of scripture, Paul listed 16 characteristics of true love, agape love. Go ahead and turn there and let's read those five verses. Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous. Love does not brag and it's not arrogant. It does not act unbecomingly. It does not seek its own. It is not provoked. And if you're wondering why I'm inserting "it is," because it's a third person singular and as a result of that, it's implied. So I'm adding that, and it actually goes better with our English language. Anyways, it is not provoked. It does not take into account a wrongs suffered. It does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but it rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
Now, so far, we've covered 12 of the 16 characteristics. And normally, we only cover one characteristic at a time, two at the most. But this morning, we're going to cover the last four. That's because these last four characteristics are meant to go together. They're meant to go hand in hand. You see, Paul has been building up to a climax. Remember, whenever Paul gives you a list, the first item on the list and the last are the most important. Why? Paul likes to start with a bang and end with the climax. So anytime you see a list, whether it's the works of the flesh or the fruit of the spirit or the characteristics of love, remember that the first item on the list and the last item on the list are the most important because Paul likes to begin with a bang and end with the climax. So Paul is building up to a climax, which is love never fails. And these last four characteristics not only support, but they explain why love never fails. So if someone came up to me and they said, "Well, Pastor, why does love never fail?" I would point to these last four characteristics.
So turn with me, if you would, to the book of 1 Corinthians chapter 13. We're going to read verses 7 and 8 again. And I want you to underline the word "fails" in verse number eight. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. Now, the word "fails" is translated from the Greek word *epto*. And of course, if you've attended this church, you know many times I'll break down the word. And *epto* is actually a compound word, which simply means it's more made up of more than one word. In this case, it's made up of two words: the prefix *ek*, which means "out of," out of, and the root word *pipto*, which means "to fall." Now, when you combine these two words, it literally means "to fall out of." Now, do you see what Paul is saying here? He, he's saying you can never fall out of love if it's agape love, if it's true love, if it's the God kind of love. I never have to worry that God is going to fall out of love with me because God has an agape love, and that love never fails. In other words, you never fall out of that kind of love.
Now, I want you to underline the word "never." "Never" is translated from the Greek word *oudepe*. And it means never, at any time, or for any reason. I love that because it tells me that God never, at any time, or for any reason, will fall out of love with me. Doesn't mean he won't be disappointed in me. It doesn't mean that I won't quench the Spirit. It doesn't mean that he, he's not irritated. But he'll never fall out of love. You know, I told my girls this when they were both in high school. I told them at different times and said it many times. I told them, "There's nothing you can do that will ever make me stop loving you." But it doesn't mean that I'll always approve of what you do. In fact, if you do things that you know to be wrong, I will not approve of it. But it doesn't mean that I'll ever stop loving you. Why? Because I have an agape love for my children. So what I'm telling you is this: if you have this type of love, you're never going to go home and say to your spouse, "I don't love you anymore." No.
Now, think about this. Why do people fall out of love? You see someone that tells you that, "Well, you know, I just don't love them anymore." And you're thinking about how they were so in love with them when they were dating. Why do people fall out of love? Well, I'll tell you why. It's because they quit doing these four things: bearing, believing, hoping, and enduring. Let's face it, people fall out of love because they give up. And when you give up, what happens? You decide you can't bear it anymore. You stop believing the relationship's going to work. You give up hope. And you decide you're not going to endure it anymore. In other words, you're not going to put up with it anymore. So you see, these last four characteristics determine whether love fails or love never fails, whether you stay in love or you fall out of love. Let me say that again because that is so important. These last four characteristics determine whether love fails or never fails, whether you stay in love or you fall out of love.
So let's look at each one of these four characteristics. Look at the first part of verse number, uh, 7. 1 Corinthians chapter 13:7. "Love bears all things." Now, the word "bears" is translated from the Greek word *stego*, which in this context means to protect by covering. We'll bring up the Secret Service men in just a minute. But anyways, it means to protect by covering. The best way to illustrate what this word means is to use a house as an example. A house is built to protect us from the elements, to protect us from the rain, the cold, the heat, and the wind. But as it protects us, it bears the brunt of the extreme weather conditions. So *stego* means to protect by covering. It protects from harm by bearing the brunt of the punishment. A good picture of this as it pertains to love is a parent-child relationship. When a child is in danger, the parent will cover the child as a human shield. The parent will bear the wrath to protect the child. And let me tell you, it's this way with animals. Sometimes we forget that those animals are wild. And you'll see people in Yellowstone or some other national park, and they'll get too close to a moose, and that's too young, uh, what are the little ones called, anyways, or between a grizzly bear and her cubs. And all of a sudden, that mama bear or that mama moose turns on them and kills that person. Why? It's protecting their young. So a good example is, is, is a mother with a child. A mother with a child will actually become a human shield and will bear the wrath to protect the child. We saw the Secret Service do the very same thing yesterday with Donald Trump. They did an excellent job. I'm telling you, when those first, that first shot was fired, you saw people running into the stage, and you thought, "What in the world is happening?" And they pushed him down and they covered him with their bodies. As an American, I was very proud of them. That's what *stego* means. It means that they're really ready to become a human shield in order to protect the person. In marriage, *stego* refers to doing whatever it takes to protect the relationship. That's what, that's what it means by "bears all things." You'll do whatever it takes to make this relationship work. You'll bear all things. I know I'm going to offend some people, but it was the easiest way to illustrate it. A man will bear PMS, nagging, and mothering to make the marriage work. On the other hand, a woman will bear laziness, irresponsibility, and childishness to make the marriage work. Why? Because they're committed to protecting the relationship by doing what is, whatever is necessary to make the marriage work.
Now, listen to me. That's why it is so important to marry the right person. Because if you marry the wrong person, not only will you have to bear more than you should, but that person will also take advantage of your willingness to bear more than you should. Did you catch what I said? Yes. If you marry the wrong person, that means that you're going to have to bear more than you should because you married the wrong person. But probably worse than that is the person you married will make you bear more than you should. He'll take advantage of your willingness to do that. And I see it in marriages all the time. And they ask me, "Well, what's the problem here?" The problem is, you should have never married that person in the first place. First of all, you need to be open, old enough to date someone to be able to determine whether they're a good marriage mate or not. And then you better date for a very long time until they become comfortable with you, and what's in their true heart is going to come out. It's going to show. And that's what you want. Most people don't realize this, but who you marry is the third most important decision in life. What's the most important decision? The most important decision concerns Jesus Christ. Will you accept him or reject him? If you reject Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you've sealed your eternal destiny. You have failed at the most important, the most critical decision you'll ever make in life. If you accept Jesus Christ, let me tell you, you can have a horrible life here, but you have sealed your eternal future, and you're going to be with God. That's the, that's the most important decision you can make. What are you going to do with Jesus Christ? What's the second most important decision? Your career. What has God called you to do? What is he gifted you to do? What abilities do you have? You know, most of us, we find out who we want to take on the journey, we get married first, and then we find out what we're supposed to do, and they don't want to go with us on that journey. I can't tell you the number of people that are in the ministry, and they actually had to get out of the ministry because they married someone that didn't want to be in the ministry. And they'll say things like this, "Well, you weren't a pastor when I married you. Why do you want to be a pastor now?" Or, "You become a pilot, and you're always gone." And the person wants to know, "Well, why do you have to fly out there? What's my job?" Well, when I married you, you weren't a pilot. The second most important decision you'll ever make is what are you going to do with your life, your career? The third most important decision you'll make is who are you going to take on this journey? Who you going to marry? If you get those three decisions right, you're going to have a blessed life. I don't know why, but people do not like other people who have a blessed life. I get a lot of hate mail. Can you believe that? I get a lot of hate mail. And you want to know why I get a lot of hate mail? Because I'm blessed. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I did not know what my career was when I married my wife. I asked her to marry me. We got married. God called me to preach, and I knew early on that God had called me to preach. I just ran from Jesus. So then I had to go to her and say, "God's called me to preach. I got to do this." And I was blessed because she said, "Wonderful. I'll go on this journey with you." Never had any problems. But I could have really screwed it up if I had married someone who wasn't willing to go on that journey with me. That's why the career comes first. God has gifted you to do certain things, and what he's gifted you to do, he's called you to do, or he's called you, and what he's called you to do, he's gifted you to do. Everyone understands that, right? Good.
The next characteristic of true love, agape love, is believing. Turn back to 1 Corinthians 13:7. Let's keep reading. "Love bears all things, believes all things." Now, the word "believes" is translated from the Greek word *pisteuo*. Now, I know that's kind of interesting to to pronounce. You look at that and you say, "pisteuo," but that's the way you pronounce it because it's a diphthong there, epsilon-epsilon, and epsilon-epsilon is a diphthong. You pronounce it "you," like "you," not "me," "you." So it's *pisteuo*. Now, *pisteuo* means to believe, to trust, to have confidence in. So when Paul said, "Love believes all things," he didn't mean that it believes everything that it's told. No, he meant that it believes in the person or in the relationship. Now, do you see the difference? Because there's a big difference. If you don't see the difference, let me give you an example to illustrate the difference. And I'll use a parent-child relationship as the example. There are times when a parent knows that their child is lying to them. Now, some parents would never admit that their child has ever lied to them, and that's because the parent is a liar. And I know your child has lied to you. How do I know your child has lied to you? Because every person is born with an Adamic nature. It's just there. They might not have lied to you since they've been maybe six or seven years old, but I promise, promise you, at some point, they're going to lie to you. Just because they have an Adamic nature. Maybe they weren't supposed to eat the cookies, and there's cookie crumbs all over the floor. No one else is there. And you say, "Did you have a cookie?" And they go, "Nope." But I want you to understand, there are times when a parent knows that their child is lying. I, I always thought, "How, how do my mom and dad know these things?" And now, since I've had children, it's because you have chocolate on your face. It's because there's a mess over here. It's because there's water on the floor. I mean, but when you're a kid, you don't see that, and you're thinking, "Do they have eyes in the back of their head?" But there are times when a parent knows that their child is lying to them. When that happens, the parent knows better than to believe what their child is telling them, or they should know better than that. But just because they don't believe what their child is telling them doesn't mean that they don't believe in the child. In fact, no matter what their child does, the parents will always believe in them. The truth is, my parents never stopped believing in my little brother. And if I'm honest, I stopped believing in him when I was probably fifth or sixth grade. If you know my family, you know what I'm talking about. But my parents never stopped believing in my younger brother. They had an agape love for him. And if I'm honest, I did not. I had a phileo. And my parents would do things and they would say, "Yes, but I just know he's going to change." And I'm going, "He's not going to change, Lord. He's been to prison three times." No way. But my parents never stopped believing them. And along the line, God convicted me and said, "You don't have an agape love for your brother. That's got to change." And I knew I didn't have an agape love because I stopped believing in him. Yeah. Do you see the difference? Everyone know what I'm talking about? Love is not stupid, is what I'm saying. But it does believe. Just because you believe doesn't mean that you believe what that person's telling you. Everyone with me? Listen to me. When you stop believing in a relationship or in a person, the foundation of that relationship is on shaky ground. You know, there are times when people come up to me and they want to know, "Are we good?" And I have to say, "No, we're not good." Because what you did put the relationship on shaky ground. That's why infidelity is so dangerous to a marriage. It tears down the foundation of your relationship, which is trust. That's why Jesus said that infidelity is biblical grounds for divorce, even among believers. Notice what Matthew 5, verse number 32 says. I'm using the NLT because if I use the King James version, it says "fornication," and we tend to think of fornication not as what it really means, but what it means today in the English language, which is premarital sex. But actually, it comes from the Greek word *porneia* and it means the breaking of covenant rules, especially as it pertains to sex, but not exclusive to sex. If you've ever heard me teach on divorce, you understand what I'm talking about. If you haven't, well, maybe you need to listen to that. But notice what Jesus said in Matthew chapter 5:32. "But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful..." Ah, there's your caveat. There's your exception. "...a man that divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery." Now, you can marry a divorced woman if they had biblical grounds. But I'm telling you, Jesus said marriage is forever. That's why you better be careful on who you marry. Marriage is built on trust, and nothing more. The vows that Lisa and I made were before God, that people witnessed. But I didn't make that vow to Lisa. Most people misunderstand that. The vow that I made was before God, to God. And she heard me make that vow, and I heard the same thing when she made her vows to God about me. People, infidelity is a breach of trust, and trust is the foundation of all covenant relationships. You know, a lot of people have a hard time understanding salvation because they say, "Well, you just have to believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead and confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord." And the reason you have to confess with your mouth is because what we confess to, we're committed to. So if we confess that Jesus is Lord, what it's really saying is, you have to make a commitment that Jesus is Lord of your life. So basically, the only thing that saves me is my trust and what Jesus has done for me. So my salvation is based on trust, faith. And that's why we're saved by faith. We're saved by grace through faith, not of works. Lest any man should boast. That's good teaching, Pastor Allen. But anyways, let's keep going.
Let's look at the next characteristic. Hope. Turn back to 1 Corinthians 13:7 and we'll keep reading. "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things." Now, the word "hopes" is translated from the Greek word *elpidzo*. And in this context, it means to expect something good, or to expect it will get better. Sometimes it means other things, but most of the time, and in this context, it means to expect something good, or to expect it will get better. You see, love has the best of expectations. Some of you young people, you start dating someone, and your parents are like, "I don't think so." And you just can't understand why your parents don't like that person or whatever. But they can see through certain things. But your love has blinded you. You just expect the best. Yeah, love has the best of expectations. If conditions are adverse, love still hopes for the best. If there's repeated disappointments, love naively, many times, expects it to get better. Now, some of you might be thinking, "Well, Allan, I'm here this morning, and I don't have any hope for my relationship." Well, let me ask you one simple question: Are you disappointed in your relationship with that person? If the answer is yes, then you still have hope. Yes, you're disappointed, but you're not nihilistic towards the relationship. You're not without hope. You see, if you didn't expect good from your relationships, you wouldn't be disappointed. We can only be disappointed when we have expectations. You know, I can still remember living in the home, and I, I grew up in a very healthy, functional family until I got about ninth grade, sophomore year, because that's about the time when my little brother, in fifth grade, started doing drugs. Boy, the dynamics in the family. He, he was a problem child before then, but sorry, I'm just being honest. Can I be honest? And I saw things change. The dynamics in our family changed because, boy, my parents tried everything. And he'd do something, and they'd be disappointed. And I wasn't disappointed because I didn't expect any better from him. Do you see what I'm talking about? On through my life, I'm 64 years old, the person's 60, and something happens and say, "Are you disappointing?" Huh? Because I'm not really expecting any more from him again. Phileo love versus agape love. Do you see what I'm saying here? But my parents were always disappointed because they always had hope that he could do better and would do better. So they'd help him, and then he'd disappoint them, and they'd help him, and he'd disappoint them. And if you asked any of the rest of us, his four siblings, we would all say, "We're not disappointed." But the reason is because you can't be disappointed if you don't have any expectations. But having hope doesn't mean you won't get depressed from time to time. You will. You know, my parents always had hope. "He's going to change. He's going to do better." Allan, I think this time it's different. And I would say, "I hope so, but not sure." I really had hope because I didn't expect it. But even when they had hope, my parents would get depressed from time to time. Because even if you have hope, you will get depressed. Look at Proverbs 13, verse number 12, and I'll show you what I'm talking about. It says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life." Now, the phrase, uh, "heart sick" or "heart sick" is actually a euphemism, a Hebraism, that means depressed. So what this verse is saying is that when hope is deferred, it makes us depressed. In other words, when what we're hoping for is postponed or continually delayed, we get depressed. But, but there's still hope. That's because this type of hope is not based on optimism. This type of hope springs from love. And that love says, "I can't give up. I can't give up on them. I just believe they're going to change." And just to let you know, so you're not worried, I promised my mom and dad after they got close to their deathbed and passed away, that when you pass away, I'll continually pray. I pray for every member of my family to be saved. But anyways, as I said, this type of hope springs from love. And love won't let you give up on that person. Remember, love causes you to believe in that person or that relationship with the person. And I want you to notice how the characteristics of believing and hoping go together. As long as I believe in that person, I have hope. So don't confuse momentary doubts of depression from just from disappointments with hopelessness. Because it doesn't mean you're hopeless if you're depressed or you're down for a little bit. It's only when you completely give up hope. True hopelessness is characterized by a void of emotions. You have no expectations. You're not disappointed because you've ceased to expect better. You've ceased to believe in that person. You've given up on them. The point is this: there's something about love that makes us believe that it's going to get better, or they're going to get better. Therefore, you don't give up on that relationship, whether it's a spouse or a child. Some of you know what I'm talking about because maybe you have a problem child, and there are times when you think they're never going to change. And then you get to praying or reading your Bible, and you go, "No, God, they're going to change." You know why you can't give up on them? Because you have true agape love for them. Yeah.
The last characteristic of love is endurance. 1 Corinthians chapter 13:7 says, "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." Now, the word "endures" is translated from the Greek word *hupomeno*. And of course, *hupomeno* is a compound word, which simply means it's made up of more than one word. In this case, it's made up of the prefix *hupo*, which means "under" or "beneath." In fact, our word "hippopotamus," *hippopotamus*, comes from this Greek *hupo*, meaning water underneath. Hippopotamus is underneath or or beneath the water. All right. And then you have the word *meno*, which means "to remain." Now, when you combine these two words, it literally means "to remain under." But the idea is that you're doing so willingly. You voluntarily remain under certain conditions. So *hupomeno* actually means to put up with, at least in this context. In the majority of the context, it actually means to submit. Sometime when I'm teaching on submission, I'll come back to this word and explain why it means to submit. But in this context, it doesn't. It means to put up with. You're voluntarily remaining under or beneath this. So notice what Paul is saying here. He says, "Love willingly put up with all types of unpleasant conditions and even offensive behavior." Think about it. Have you ever seen someone in a bad relationship and you wondered, "Why in the world does she put up with him?" Or, "Why does he put up with her?" You ever wondered that? You see someone and you go, "I would not put up with that." You want to know why they put up with it? They put up with it because they love the other person. He loves her, or she loves him, and she puts up with it. I have seen certain people, even inside our church, and I watch the dynamics of their relationship, and he's rude to her, or she's rude to him, or they're just, I mean, snarky to each other. I can be snarky to you, but I'm never going to be snarky to my wife. One time, one time I made a huge mistake, and the minute it came out of my mouth, I knew it. I went tailgating. I had season tickets to the Arkansas Razorbacks. I think we were watching Arkansas play Alabama, and, uh, Randall went with me. Randall went with me. And the girls decided that they were going to, uh, go shopping instead. So we were tailgating, and Lisa was driving home with the girls. And she called me because it tells you, you know, here's how to get back to Taqua. And it says, "Is it 51 or whatever it is East?" "Oh, I'm sorry, West." And, but it also said Fayetteville, because when you get off, you can go west. And if you go west from Arkansas, you reach where Oklahoma. If you make a left, you're going back into the city of Fayetteville. So Lisa calls me and she says, "Um, how do I get back to Tana?" I said, "Well, honey, you take Highway 51 West." And she said, "Oh, I can't believe I said this." And she said, "Well, it says Fayetteville." I said, "Honey, Oklahoma is west of Arkansas." And as soon as I said it, oh, I knew I was in trouble. Randall and Rell were calling their wives to talk about how stupid I was because they're going to throw me under the bus. Because, you know, when one woman gets mad, all the other women get mad at their husbands too. You ever notice that? So I just tell you a secret here. If you're newly married, if you ever see a man do something stupid to his wife or with his wife, then what you want to do is you want to ease over to your wife, say, "I can't believe he did that. I'd never do that. I'm offended for her." Yeah, throw him under the bus so your wife's not mad at you. And to this day, and I, that was years ago, honey, I'm so sorry. She's the most important thing to me in this world. And I'm not going to be snarky to her. I'm going to be snarky to you. Now, it's a rhetorical, it's a, it's a literary device that I use, or a speaking device, not literary, rhetorical device, to have you perk up and hear. But you need to understand that there are people in our church that are rude to their spouse. And I'm thinking, "Why would you do that?" And then I think, "Why do you put up with that?" You want to know why they put up with it? Because they love them. Yeah. I've often wondered, why does God put up with us? Why does God put up with us? Do you know why God puts up with this? Because he loves us. Therefore, he endures all things. He puts up with it. *Hupomeno*.
Now, I made the comment in my introduction that these last four characteristics determine whether love fails or love never fails. In other words, whether they stay in love or fall out of love. You see, when love fails, it does so for four reasons. I'm going to give you the four reasons. Listen to this, because if you're thinking, "I don't love my husband," or "I don't love my wife," or any of those type of things, there's a reason why. When love fails, it does so for four reasons. Number one, the person decides they can't bear anymore. "I just can't bear it anymore." Number two, they no longer believe in the person they're in the relationship with. "I don't believe they're ever going to change." Nope. "I'm not even disappointed anymore when they do that because I don't expect them to do any better." Number three, they've given up all hope that the relationship will work or that the person will change. "Don't have any hope. Life's too short. They're never going to change." And last but not least, they decide they aren't going to put up with it anymore. In other words, they can't endure anymore. Now, can you see why Paul said, "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things"? Because if it does those four things, you never fall out of love. But once you decide you can't bear it anymore, you no longer believe in the person, you've given up all hope that that person will change or the relationship will get better, and last but not least, you decide you're not going to put up with it anymore. Guess what? That's when you go home and you tell your spouse, "I don't love you anymore." And if you're a Christian, before you can get a divorce, you have to come tell the pastor. That's just a rite of passage in the South. And a person comes to me, and I can already tell, especially if it's a woman. If it's a man, it's usually another woman. But if it's a woman, I can usually see in their eyes, "Oh, you're not going to talk me out of this, Pastor." And the reason why these four things are present and no longer bear, they don't want to bear it, they don't believe, they don't hope, they don't want to endure it, they're not going to put up with it anymore. They have made their mind up. They just want to be able to check off the box that, "I went to see the pastor," but they're getting a divorce. And then the man will set up an appointment to come see me. And they say, "I guess you heard my wife's leaving me and she's filing for divorce." And he'll say, "What do I need to do?" And I want to tell him, "It's a little too late now, buddy." Because once a woman gets to that point, so you better get on your knees and start praying. You better start praying that she gets some hope, that she starts believing it might change. Because at this point, she's not going to bear or endure it anymore.
And what's sad is it could have been easily prevented. Easily prevented are the few simple tools and techniques that the Bible gives us. That's why when I teach on marriage, I don't do this pop stuff, Christian stuff. I bring it from the Bible because God created humans. No one knows human nature better than God. And I've said this before, God doesn't fix marriages. God fixes people. Marriage is not this tangible thing that you can fix like a car. Bring your marriage to Pastor Allen, and I'll take it apart and say, "Well, the problem is the carburetor in your marriage or the fuel pump." No, no, no. The problem in your marriage is two people. And if the people aren't fixed, the marriage isn't fixed. So I really offend people when I say this, but it's true. God doesn't not fix marriages. God fixes people. And I've zeroed in on marriage, but this works with all types of relationships: parent-children relationships, employer-employee relationships, friend relationships. Human nature is the same. And God gives us the answers to these things. And the great thing about love is when God commands us to love our enemies, he doesn't tell us he's not commanding us to feel a certain way. He's commanding us to behave a certain way. When Paul listed these 16 characteristics, none of them had to do with feelings. They all had to do with action or behavior. This is the way love behaves because there's a principle called the practice principle. And the practice principle, and it's from the Bible, states this: the way I treat people affects the way I feel about them. Let me tell you, my wife's the most valuable person in my relation, in my life, with the exception of God. And I treat her that way, and because I treat her that way, I feel that way. You, you start treating your enemies a certain way, you start behaving towards them the way God tells you to. He'll change your feelings. It might take a while because I'm sure they've done things, and that's why they're your enemy. But God always tells us, "This is the way you're supposed to behave." And it doesn't matter how you feel or what you think or your opinion. Can you handle the truth? God's word is truth.
Let's stand. You know, I'm different. No, right? I'm different. I want people just to be honest and upfront with me. Just come talk with me. And I'm that way with people. I went to a cardiologist, and he said, "Your weight's a problem." No, weight's not the problem. Discipline is. But anyways, he said, "What would you think about a vegan diet, changing your eating habits?" I said, "You mean no red meat?" He said, "Yeah." I looked at Lisa, and of course, they hear this whole time, "Doc says I'm going to die because I'm not cutting out red meat." So what if I go home to heaven a little... I'm just teasing, okay? I'll get a lot of letters for that. But, you know, I just want to tell you the truth. I want to tell you the truth. The most important decision you'll ever make is what are you going to do with Jesus? You going to accept him or reject him? Some of you have been coming to church a long time, but you've never accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. You've never put your faith in him and made him Lord of your life. And I'm here to tell you, you're screwing up the most important decision of your life because it determines your eternal destiny. If you reject Jesus Christ, you're not going to go to heaven. I don't have to get up here and preach hellfire and damnation. I just have to tell you the truth. You have Jesus. If he's your Lord and Savior, you have life. I love the way Apostle John said, "He that hath the Son hath life. He that hath not the Son hath not life." You got Jesus, you're going to heaven. You don't have Jesus, you're going to hell. Why would you want to do that? I'm going to give you the opportunity to have Jesus.
Want everyone to bow their heads, close their eyes. If you want to receive Jesus, all you have to do is repeat this prayer. Prayer is not magic. Just because you say the prayer doesn't mean you're going to heaven. But if you believe what you're saying and you want Jesus to be Lord, you'll be saved. Here it goes: "God, I know I'm a sinner, and I know that my sin has separated me from you. But God, I believe you love me, and because you love me, I believe you sent your Son Jesus to covenant with me, to become one with me, to be made my sin in order to die for my sin. And I believe that when Jesus died, his soul went to hell to pay the penalty for my sin. But God, I also believe that when all my sin was paid, paid for, you legally raised Jesus from the dead. Jesus, I believe that, and I want you to be Lord of my life. Thank you for saving me."
Now, with every head bowed, every eye closed, if you said that prayer and meant it, you need to confess that Jesus is Lord. I'm not going to ask you to come forward. Won't send anyone to you. No one's looking but me. If you said that prayer and you meant it, I want you to raise your hand real high. Anyone see two hands? Right there. Three hands. Four hands. Five hands. Anyone else? Six hands. In the back. Seven hands. Right there. Anyone else? Best decision you'll ever make. All right. Oh, see the hand back there. Number eight. All right. Let's give them a hand. Bobby.