Transcription
So, despite anything that you're going through right now, anything that you've been through, anything that has happened, that was said, you can fix everything except from Death. You can turn anything around, whether you're 15, whether you're 50, I don't care. You can transform every single part of your life if you truly want to, and I very much so believe that. But not only do I believe that, I know that, cuz I have done that. And so I want to talk about the two transformation, the major two transformations in my life that I have encountered so far, and I'm sure there'll be many, many more. But I want to take you on the First Transformation.
The first major transformation was when I was a teenager. I began taking drugs at 11; and I was like 4 foot nothing. I weighed about six stone, and I think the first drug I ever took was ketamine. My dad was in prison; my mom was probably starting a fight with a wall somewhere. I think she's still there. So, you know, we were kind of left to our own devices, like my brother and I. We could do what we wanted, and what we wanted, we did. And so yeah, that was my kind of teenage years. 14 to 15, 16, I was off radar; like it was unbelievable the things I would get into, the drugs I were taking, the things I were doing; it was out of this world, right? And so at 15, 16, I really, really had done it all, and I decided I no longer want to be this person anymore and change then, guys, was so unimaginable to me. I couldn't even fathom. And the one thing that really saved me was the fact that I love reading. To this day, I love reading. I'm so curious; I love learning; I love learning new things; I love, you know, embarking on new Journeys. I just loved reading. And this proves because if I H if I didn't have that, that quench for knowledge and, you know, learning new things, I wouldn't be here today. Because, for example, my brother who didn't have that and was left to his own devices, truly left to his own devices, you know, he's just got out of prison for the second time. This is really when I can see just going off topic a little bit how you can see, you know, the crimes in London, for example, people are getting their arms chopped off; these boys are going around with machetes and knives and Eng G, you know, these are people from horrendous backgrounds that have been through trauma we can't even imagine, and they are in pure survival mode. And so please love your children; please love yourself; please stop having children if you cannot give them the proper life that they deserve. Like I'm so passionate and also disgusted by this because if it was up to the family that I came from, I would have had five kids, and I would be in a council estate, and that's would be my life; that would be my trajectory of life. And, you know, thankfully it was up to me, and I managed to leave Leeds, where I'm from, and I started learning how to trade; I started learning to trade the currency Market, um, investing in stocks, in investing in crypto. I moved to Australia, and I began living a really beautiful life. I lived in a gorgeous Penthouse, you know, could buy what I wanted when I wanted, you know, as I said, I've always made good money, but at this time I was making it, spending it, making it, spending it.
And so here's the thing, because I transformed from literally the gutter to l living laid lo car, you know, whatever, I I then felt entitled to, well, the world owes me something now. Look at everything I've been through; look at the life that I had to go through; look at what I had to be through; like now I'm entitled to these things, like you should give me this, you should do this for me. And here's the thing, I was both right and wrong. Yes, I deserve beautiful things, but nobody's going to give me that; nobody's going to give you that; you give yourself that, not from external things, from in from in here. And so this was really my fake transformation because I thought because I'd left Leeds I had changed, and I was a brand new person, and you couldn't tell me any different, and I had this chip on my shoulder and like, you know, nobody can mess with me, and I and and I had all these layers to protect me as well, so I was extremely angry all the time, was very volatile. Oscar Wilde has a beautiful quote, which is a burnt child loves the fire, and that's what I was: a burnt child causing a fire every single place I went. And because I was burnt, I wanted everyone else to suffer; I wanted everyone else to feel the pain that I felt, and that I did. And so at some point you have to understand that that trauma, yes, the feelings about that trauma is valid, but at what point are you going to shift it? At what point do you stop playing victim? At what point do you take full control and ownership of where you are and who you are? And you're an adult now; it's no longer on your parents to take care of you; it's on you. And even though I had these external things going well for me, internally nothing had changed. I may have read all these books and done all these meditations and gone to these Retreats, but I hadn't truly changed. I still hated where I came from; I still blamed my parents; they were to blame; how dare you put me through whatever, right? So I was a victim; I was in victim mode; look at how hard my life has been; carrying, carrying it around with me. It's so stupid though; I'm laughing because it's just so dumb; like Let It Go. I know it's like easier said than done, but like at some point what happened to you was never your fault, but at some point it becomes your fault, the more that you continue to perpetuate it, the more that you continue to sit in it and exacerbate; yeah, it's your fault now. And that's not to invalidate your feelings; that's just to be brutally honest; like the universe doesn't really give a [ __ ] about your feelings; it just cares what you're putting out there, and it will Boomerang back. And so this is my fake transformation, and this is why I feel so confident when people come to me and they're in victimhood, and I'm like mhm, and I call you out, or people say I've tried everything, you haven't, and I can confidently call you out because I had done the same. For example, I started reading in this time, living in Australia, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, and it's an amazing book by Joe Dispenza. And at the end there's a four-week meditation that you're meant to do every week, every day, every week, etc. I finished the book, and I was like, okay, perfect; I've done the work now; close the book; didn't do the work, right? Didn't again, didn't do the work. So I would want all these nice things, and most of the time got them, but then I was like, why doesn't anything stick? Why do I always end up in this depressed state? Like why does this always happen to me? Victim, victim, victim, because I wasn't actually doing the work. I still had the same thoughts in my mind, even though ex things had changed externally; I still had the same thoughts in my mind of when I was 14, 15, all that hatred, all that vitual, etc. So then it came to my breakup, which I've spoken about on this channel, and and that was the pain that I needed to actually do the [ __ ] work, and it was almost like every single meditation, every affirmation, every book that I'd read, every therapist I'd seen, every Retreat that I'd been on, it all just came into one, and I was like, oh, I know what I need to do now; okay, like my life depends on it. So this was the actual, I'm going to show you now, this was the actual, I'll put a screen recording here, this was the actual notes page that I used to change my life, and these were the nine things that were non-negotiable. Now let me tell you, I was doing more than these nine things, but these were nonnegotiable. I actually had a friend living with me at the time, and she was like, have you finished your eight-hour morning routine, babe? And I was like, actually, I haven't; I've still got like 30 minutes to go; can you can you leave? And I was so it was so intense; I was so intense with it because I was I was wavering so much; I was in so much pain. Okay, I have to change; I have to change. This is the thing, like it's that it's that moment; it's like I I cannot live like this anymore; I cannot continue doing the [ __ ] that is harming me and harming others anymore, and I don't know how to bestow that knowing onto you more than I already have; maybe this will help.
So I was doing the Joe Dispenza Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself meditation every day, and it was an it the whole meditation is about an hour long, and I was doing the full thing, like you're meant to do, week one, week two, week three, week four, but I was just doing the full thing every day for weeks; self-L meditations, plural; there weren't just one. Okay, some days I had to do five because I literally couldn't handle the 3D; I literally was in so much pain; journaling, etc., etc., all of that stuff you can read it there. Then I did like a little Notes app to keep me accountable; you see the 1, 2, 3, 4, 5; that's day one, obviously, day two, day three, day four. This was the most consistent I'd ever been in my life, sticking to something, ever in my life. And and what I'm actually doing as I'm writing on this because I understand nothing is everything is right now, when I was writing how I'm feeling, I was exacerbating the positive and minimizing the negative; because if I'd have really wrote down how I was truly feeling, it wouldn't have been anything. I put slightly obsessive; there was nothing slightly about it; it was all-consuming. But remember, I love myself, and I am worthy; also money is pouring in left and right, right? I love myself, and I'm worthy. I didn't believe that. It was day six, for just exacerbating the positive, right? Old beliefs creeping in; I am the operant power; it's just all the trash taking itself out again; putting a positive spin on things, guys; I was not thinking I am the the operant power on day seven. But here's the thing, you can see on on how I'm typing, right? Starting to feel better; I am [ __ ] incredible; feeling better, better every day; energy is unmatched; slightly obsessive; um, old beliefs creeping in; I am the operant power; like, you know, and then you go back up, and then you're back down, and it's just these insane oscillations between I am God and I am a piece of [ __ ], right? Until you attain that equilibrium because you continue to show up for yourself every single day. And so again, I W bore you, but dreamt of SP; didn't want to do my morning routine, but persisted and feel great now, you know, saw my homes in Barley and Dubai; I'm crying, like I'm literally crying doing this work, but I'm feeling great now, right? I'm ignoring what's happening and continuing to go within; my like my life depends on it; I lived in Bexley, and I was running to Richmond in London, that's the other side of London and back; I was doing half a marathon, like sometimes twice a week, because I literally couldn't handle being in my own body. And like when people come to me and they're like, oh, but I'm I'm like, are you though? Because I'm I wasn't ever once did I sit here and was like, things are just really bad; like everything in my life is just really awful; like no, I'm feeling like, okay, cool; I do the breath work; I don't want to do the work anymore, but I persisted, and I did it anyway; I don't feel like this is working, but okay; a state of acceptance, and everything is going to be okay, right, right? So you coming to me being like, Oh, but like, no, you're not changing anything; this was true change because here I literally did not feel any of these things; I'm maybe a little bit, but any of these things I'm writing down is massively heightened than what it actually was because I'm putting a positive spin on things; coming back to the present moment whenever I catch myself drifting; the present moment is all I have; the 3D is Shifting; I can feel it, right? We're back up here now; I don't care; I got this; I'm [ __ ] unreal; right? We're back up here now; um, wobble today, you know, back down; we're constantly oscillating; I won't bore you with everything, but you know, I did this for a good; starting to feel lazy; all programmers trying it; woke up so late; Joe Dispenza; all of that, right? Whatever; so you kind of get the drift; it was me committing to change as if my life did depends on it. And if you can't grasp that meaning by now, I don't know what else to say to you; like when you want to sit down and say, but this is how I'm feeling, that's the exact moment you sit down and say, but why is everything so perfect? Why is everything just being so wonderful all the time, right? You you think you're going insane, like most of the time, but just know the more that you stick to it, the easier it becomes, and then it just becomes your most dominant assumption; of course, everything always works out for me; of course, like why wouldn't it? The more that you stick to this, the longer that you stick to this, like people like, oh, I want this change now; I want this text message now; what about in a year? Imagine you stick to this for a year; imagine you stick to this for 6 months; like what's going to happen? This is not just like, you know, one and done; this is a lifestyle today, right now; you think I you think I don't have to catch my thoughts; you think I'm just like done and like never have to do any work again? It's constant; it's it's it's every day; there's there it's every day, but now I get to have fun with it, and I get to be playful with it, and it gets to be excited; oh my God; like okay, I see what's happening, but like also I know my power, so let's just go; whatever needs to happen, whatever needs to shift, whatever needs to be done, whatever needs; let's go; I'm ready for it. And this is the kind of energy that you are GR Ed when you have shown up for yourself; you don't get that level of conviction when you haven't done [ __ ]. So what you can take from this video is picking a few different things, sticking to it as if your life depends on it; when you feel that wavering, you jump up and get going; you get moving; I got to shift it; I got to change it; I'm not sitting and dwelling and complaining and winging, moaning anymore; Not Another Second longer; I get what I want; my reality conforms to me now; I command my reality to show me a miracle in the next 24 hours; I command change because I am being the change; I am embodying the change; okay, the victim mentality has to go; you are the operant power; there is nothing else to it; there's nobody else controlling your reality; there's nobody else out there that's telling you this is going to happen; there, you know, these tarot cards; oh, I paid all this money on tarot cards; why it's like me; it's like me sitting here and being like, Oh, you you're an Aries; yeah, they're going to dump you; yeah; now I know because this piece of paper just told me; like what are you talking about? Like you are you are the master of your reality; not a [ __ ] piece of paper; does that make sense? Okay, there's nothing outside of you; it's coming from internally. So hopefully this proves to you that if you have been EXP expecting the worst because of your past, yeah, you can drop that now; okay, you can drop that immediately; matter what I've seen; I know it's absolutely no correlation between where to where I'm going; it's it's got no effect on my future at all. And so that is the same for you; that's true for me, one person, then it's true for you, and it's probably not just and it's definitely not just true for me; it's true for millions of other people, which means it can also be true for you. So, so I trust this video helped you manifest; you are worthy; you are loved; I love you; and thank you.