Transcription
Pharaoh: Yu-Gi-Oh! was a production of the Children's Television Workshop.
Joey: It sure is a shame that Mokuba got kidnapped again. If we'd been paying the slightest bit of attention, it probably wouldn't have happened.
Yugi: Oh, he gets kidnapped like once a week, I'm sure he's used to it by now.
Mokuba: It feels like I'm dying inside.
Yugi: Come on, let's go play some more card games.
Joey: Hey, look! Some idiot dropped his cards!
Tristan (Different Voice): Hands off! Those are mine!
Joey: Tristan?! What the hell happened to your voice?
Yugi: It sounds all weird and stuff.
Tristan: What are you guys talking about?
Joey: Seriously, it sounds completely different.
Yugi: Does it hurt to talk like that?
Tristan: You guys, I've always sounded like this, I swear!
Téa: That voice is all wrong.
Joey: What happened to the Tristan I knew and loved? This is unacceptable!
*Opening Theme* ♪ "Kawaita Sakebi Ga" ♫ *Opening Theme* ♪ "Todoke Fly At Higher Gaaaammmmeeee" ♫
Joey: It sure feels good to know that my friends are backing me up.
Tristan: Man, Joey, these guys look like they're way out of your league. Maybe we should go looking for some three year olds.
Téa: He'd be better off facing a dueling monkey.
Joey: You guys are the worst friends ever!
Mai: Hello, Joseph. Happy to see me?
Joey: Yes, talking cleavage, I'm very happy to see you.
Mai: Say hello to your next opponent.
Yugi: It's Rex Raptor! He was a regional finalist.
Rex: [chuckles] You said region.
Joey: I foolishly accept your challenge.
Tristan: Don't do it, Joey. He'll clearly wipe the floor with you.
Joey: It is implied that I am punching you!
Téa: Gasp!
Tristan: Hey, no fair! He can't punch me while I'm not on screen!
Joey: You had it comin'! Ever since your voice changed, you've been like a totally different person. Well actually you've been like the same person just with a totally different voice, but you know what I mean.
Tristan: Good luck winning this card game without my help.
Joey: Yeah, 'cause you're usually such an important character.
Mai: Just remember our deal, Rex. And watch out for his Time Wizard; that's what he used to defeat my Harpies!
Rex: You have herpes?
Mai: Harpies!
Rex: Stop saying herpes!
Yugi: I'm gonna go find Tristan.
Téa: Oh, I love it when he abandons me.
Tristan: Must. Wash. Away. The sin.
Yugi: Hey Tristan. What's up?
Tristan: Yugi? What are you doing here? You should be helping Joey.
Yugi: Joey doesn't need my help. Don't you get it, Tristan? This is Joey's coming-of-age episode, where he proves he's a real man by winning a children's card game all by himself.
Tristan: Well, he's got a hot sister, so I guess I can forgive him for assaulting me.
Yugi: And that's what true friendship is all about.
Tristan: What?
Yugi: Let's just go back.
Tristan: Hey, Joey! I've returned to give you my support.
Joey: Hey, Tristan! I don't care! Time Roulette Go! ♪ The Power of Love (Huey Lewis and the News) ♫
Rex: Check it out! My dragon's stoned!
Yugi: Well done, Joey! You believed in the heart of the cards and it came through for you.
Joey: Actually, it was more like dumb luck.
Yugi: Same thing, really.
Mai: Now that I'm all alone, nothing could possibly go wrong.
Panik: It's raping time!
Téa: There's something in the bushes!
*The Omen Theme (Ave Satani)* ♪ Sanguis Bibimus ♫
Bakura: Hello guys. It's me, Bakura. I've been stalking you for the past five episodes. I hope that doesn't seem too suspicious.
Yugi: Do we know you?
Tristan: He does seem familiar, somehow.
Joey: What's the deal with his inappropriate accent?
*The Omen Theme (Ave Satani) continues* ♪ Corpus Edimus ♫
Yugi: Let's all compare ourselves to our cards in order to set up a plot point for the next episode.
Joey: I'm the Flame Swordsman.
Tristan: I'm the Cyber Commander.
Téa: I'm the Magician of Faith.
Yugi: And I'm the Dark Magician. What about you, Bakura?
Bakura: This is my favorite card.
*The Omen Theme (Ave Satani) continues* Tolle Corpus- Oops, wrong one. There we go. The Change of Heart. If you want to know how it works, we could have a duel right now.
*The Omen Theme (Ave Satani) continues* ♪ Satani! ♫
Yugi: That sounds innocent enough.
*The Omen Theme (Ave Satani) continues* ♪ Satani! ♫
Bakura: By the way, there's something I'd like you to know.
Yami Bakura: You're a bunch of idiots!
Yugi: This came completely out of nowhere!
Yami Bakura: That's what you get for hogging all of my screen time, you little b*tch. Now to take the millennium puzzle, and steal your role as main character. What in Zork's name is going on?!
Pharaoh: Get your hands off my puzzle, you limey fruitcake!
Bakura: What say you and I have a card game to decide which one of us deserves to be the main character? And when I win, this show will be all mine!
Pharaoh: Okay, but.. who are you?
Bakura: I'm Bakura.
Pharaoh: Never heard of you.
*The Omen Theme (Ave Satani)* ♪ Tolle Corpus Satani! Satani!♫ *Bubba's Lament playing in background)*
Pharaoh: Hi, folks! Here at Yu-Gi-Oh! we like to have a good laugh as much as the next guy. But there comes a time when the laughter must stop. And that's usually when somebody dies. Recently, a treasured member of our cast passed away. His name was: Tristan Taylor's voice.
Téa: He meant so much to all of us. He made us laugh, made us cry. I can't believe he's really gone.
Yugi: When I first heard that Tristan's voice had died, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. His voice was like family to me.
Joey: I was with him when his voice passed away. His voice had been strugglin' to overcome an addiction to alcohol, and, well... ...one thing led to another.
Joey: Tristan's voice, have you been drinking?
Tristan (Normal Voice): I can't remember because I'm so drunk!
Joey: Hey, wait! Don't run with those scissors!
Tristan: You're not the boss of me!
*thud* Ouch!
Joey (Deadpan): Oh no. He's dead.
Mai: What happened was just terrible! I'd never want anything bad to happen to my voice.
Mokuba: Neither would I.
Pharaoh: And so, we dedicate this episode to the memory of Tristan's voice. Good night, sweet prince... And a flight of angels sing thee to thy rest.
*Bubba's Lament*
Mokuba: IT'S A NINTENDO SIXTY FOUR!!!!!!!!!!