Ryan Ashley Reveals Alien Encounters That Changed Her Forever | E77

It's like a memory in my mind. It's in there forever and it changed me. It was one of the biggest cornerstone experiences that [music] I had had. And that was the beginning.

On today's show, we have Ryan Ashley, who is one of the most influential tattoo artists on the planet. Best known for her work as a judge, host, and champion of the hit show Inkmaster.

We understand that you are an experiencer, but have never spoken about necessarily what you experience publicly. It almost changed the trajectory of my life because my reality was shifted. I was 8 years old and I walked over to the window [music] and a few feet from the window was a craft. My mom said I came running out of the bedroom as fast as I can. I was horrified to the bone. [music] One of the best things she's done for me in my life is she believed me. It takes support [music] for you to be able to believe yourself. A lot of [music] people in my family have been visited. My mom would say, "I am so sorry that this [music] is happening to you. If I could take it away and have it happen to me, I would. It's a gift. And don't close your mind. If you're ever afraid, know that nothing will hurt you. You have [music] to be brave enough." My son just had his first. Do you want to tell us? I would love to. Cuz it really freaked me out. And I said the same thing to him that my mom said to me. I saw This sounds insane. I don't think I've ever said this out loud.

>> Wow.

>> Holy [ __ ] [music]

>> Roger. Please be informed there is [music] [music]

Welcome to the Ask for Squares podcast. I'm your host Tanya Doll.

>> And I'm Cody Blue. And on today's episode, we have my old friend who is an incredible artist and tattooer, Ryan Ashley. Sister, thank you for being on.

>> Thank you.

>> It is more than my pleasure, more than my honor. I couldn't jump on this fast enough. I am really, really excited to be here.

>> It's so good to see you.

>> We're so excited to have you on.

>> Thank you. Yeah. It's nice finding your people.

>> Yeah.

>> You know what I mean?

>> Yeah. Right back at you.

>> Yeah. It's cool.

>> It is very cool. It makes you feel not so alone.

>> Yeah.

>> It It does. And it makes you realize all the crazy thoughts you've had and and everything your whole life. you've you've not only not been alone in it, but there are people that are on your vibration that are willing to not only support you, but to see you and to understand, you know, and I think that um I don't know, above all else, that human connection is sort of the point of this all.

>> That's the whole point. Is that the truth? [laughter] Yeah. You are never alone. And that goes for all of us. And on that note, so we understand that you are an experiencer, but have never spoken about necessarily what you experience publicly. So before you tell us your story, can you please begin by just telling us simply why you feel called to tell your story publicly today?

>> Yes, absolutely. Um, so I had an experience when I was very young that was very confusing to me. Um, and you know, I'm 38 years old now. And at the time I was eight. So it's been 30 years. And since it happened to me, it almost changed the trajectory of my life because my reality was shifted.

>> Wow. And since then, you know, when it happened to me originally, I felt like, oh, I could not discuss this. I'm a weirdo. I I'm crazy. I'm something. And I was labeling myself based on what I thought at the time society would accept from me, right? And at the time, I was eight. And I was already, you know, as I told you guys, you know, my name is Ryan Malarkey. I, [laughter] okay, I lived in the trailer park. Like, I was already the [ __ ] weirdo. I didn't need an alien story [laughter] on top of that. Like, come on. Somebody throw me a bone. Can I be good at lacrosse or something [laughter] to redeem me so I can be accepted by my peers? You know, an alien story is going to throw me over the lake, [laughter] you know. No. Um, but I was lucky because the one person that was there, you know, not with me through the whole thing, but there supporting me and they're, you know, experiencing my experience with me was my mom. And I felt like um it was a truth that I that I held for so long. And then eventually once I started exploring the world and meeting people that were on my vibration, I realized that it wasn't that I was crazy. It's that I felt like I should silence myself due to a lack of understanding or a lack of support. And so now that I've grown into myself and the trajectory of my life has been based on trying to not only find myself but find people that are my tribe, right? And I've found that finally. And now I'm finally not only brave enough, you know, but confident enough to speak my truth and know that it's it's my truth, right? But it's the truth of a lot of other people as well. And so what's important for me is, you know, I'm I'm at this point in my life and my career where I have a big voice, right? There's a lot of people looking and a lot of people listening. And it's really important for me that I say something that's important, something that will change someone's life, something that will make people that were like me feel like they're not alone, that they're not crazy, that this shit's really happening. And I think that um it's it's the most fulfilling thing that I can do to take my part in this wave that's happening of enlightenment. I feel like we're we're all waking up together. you know, the the the consensus is that we're all opening our eyes and and it's my fulfilling honor um to just be a part of that and and to be one voice amongst many. Um to stand up for my truth, not the government's truth, not the truth that's been projected to society, not black and white truth. This can happen, this can't happen. My truth. And I think that's the most important thing you can do in this reality is to experience life for what it is and to tell the truth about it and to not gaslight yourself into thinking you you shouldn't believe something that you've experienced for yourself.

>> So >> absolutely it's so important. I mean, it was we were going through our awakening journey, hearing other people's stories helped validate our own experiences, and it was really important, like you said, so you don't feel alone, you don't feel like you're crazy, and we hear this story over and over and over again with people that watch the show. So, we're really excited to hear your story and thank you for coming out this morning.

>> I just want to say that made me very emotional. Um, that was really beautiful to hear, and I've really I've, you know, I' I feel that way as well. Well, I think that's the genesis of this show and uh you know, we like to say here that you know, disclosure is a disclosure of the self.

>> Yeah.

>> And that's where it starts um with us being honest.

>> So, do you want to start by telling us your story and take us for the beginning?

>> Sure.

>> Take as much time as you'd like. We're here for it.

>> Yeah. I mean, my story is 30 years long now, so we're going to be here for a long time. Okay. [laughter] So, the most profound experience that I had, I was 8 years old and I know this because I was laying in my bed and I was drawing a picture of a mermaid and my mom still has it. And at the bottom it says Ryan Ashley, age 8, and she, you know, so it's like physical proof I experienced this. I was laying in my bed and uh at the time I my sister and I lived with my mom. We lived in a trailer park and we lived all the way at the top of the hill of this trailer park and you know a mobile home a trailer is like a shoe box and there's a long end and there's two short ends. So my bedroom was all the way at the very back of the shoe box, you know, and I had a a window on the wall and at the back of the trailer there was like a, you know, a few feet of of, you know, like, you know, lawn and then it was a huge drop off that went down this hill. Used to slayigh ride down this big hill, you know, but we were really high up with a big drop off. And so I was laying in my bed and I um I heard this like vibration like this like humming sound and it sound like an airplane far away you know and I was like oh it's an airplane you know and I noted it and I was like oh it's a plane and a few minutes passed and the sound wasn't going away and I remember thinking okay it's not a plane it's somebody must be someone be mowing their grass like must be one you know one of the neighbors mowing their grass and then I remember in my mind I It's like, "No, it can't be somebody mowing their grass. It's like it's night time. It's dark. Who mows their grass at night?" And so I got out of the bed and I walked over to the window and I was eight. So, you know, the window has two panes of glass. The window, it's split in the middle. And so my face at 8 years old was right in the center of the bottom pane of the window and the blinds were down. And I remember reaching up and grabbing the string of the blinds and pulling really hard, pulling the blinds open in one swoop. And so I was here, the window was here, and a few feet from the window was a craft right outside of my window. Right outside. And I couldn't see the the the you know, I couldn't see details of the craft. It was night, but it was three big lights. one, two, three in a row hovering right there outside of my window and I knew it was watching me, right? I mean, the last thing I remember is, you know, standing there being paralyzed in fear, knowing that something was hovering there in front of me. And keep in mind this is pre- internet. This is pre- AI. This is pre Instagram, pre Facebook, pre any. We didn't have a computer, you know. And at 8 years old, you're not exposed to anything that would give you the imagination to make something up like this. I [ __ ] saw it. The last thing I remember is in one second it was like it went so fast. It was gone so fast. It looked like one of those um timelapse photos of cars in traffic where the tail lights become a streak.

>> Yeah.

>> Because the exposure is longer than the speed of the car.

>> It went so fast that it was a a a streak in real life. It was red a red streak. And out of the corner of my eye, I saw as I went, my peripheral caught the street going and I realized there was another one at a trailer down the street and the two of them went off together.

>> That's where my story ends. And so then what's been comforting for me my whole life is that's where my mom's side of the story picks up. Okay. So, my mom said she was on the phone and um on the phone with one of my aunts and she said that and I remember none of this, but my mom does. She said I came running out of the bedroom as fast as I can. And she said my whole face was white, my lips were blue, and I was like shaking like I was horrified to the bone. And and my mom said she held me by the shoulders and she's looking at me and her thought was you she saw a ghost. She saw a ghost, right? Because my mom is gifted. My family sees things. It's just normal, you know. And my mom thought I saw a ghost. And uh for the longest time, I couldn't sleep in my bed. I couldn't sleep alone. I couldn't talk about it. I wouldn't talk about it. And uh so uh the way my mom was able to connect with me and communicate with me was eventually after a few weeks, you know, she started asking me maybe if I could draw it. If I can't talk about it, can I draw a picture of it? What I saw?

>> And the greatest thing my mom I mean my mom's done a million incredible things for me. She's such a strong chick. But one of the best things she's done for me in my life is she believed me. She didn't tell me it was in my imagination. She didn't tell me it was in my mind. She believed me and she took it a step further and she started researching and she started looking into what happened to her child.

>> Wow. Good mama.

>> Right. So beautiful.

>> And so a few months passed and she sat me down and she was like, "Hey, I have to I want to talk to you about something." She's like, "I watched a special cuz I've been," she kind of rabbit holed down into this because she wanted to understand what had happened to her kid.

>> And she told me that she watched a special of people talking about, you know, their alien experiences or whatever. And and she told me about this video she watched of a man who had the exact same story as I had. The exact same story, every detail, every word, every description. And then she realized in that moment that something was happening, right? And so from that moment on, my filter didn't close because of my mom's support and because she believed me, cuz I [ __ ] saw it, right? I think a lot of people see things and they gaslight themselves into believing that they couldn't have seen what they saw or they shouldn't have seen what they saw. And if no one's supporting them, then they pass it off like it must have been or whatever. But if someone is there holding your hand, being like, "I'm with you. Don't let it go." You know, that keeps your filter open.

>> My My dad did the same thing for me. Even if it he he was like, "I've never had experiences like this, but but he would ask me questions. He was interested and curious and wouldn't bring fear into it." And I always like hats off to dad.

>> And my mom has been that for me, too. And uh but yeah, it's that's really super beautiful that

>> actually your mom was that for me too. Your mom.

>> Yeah,

>> she was because when I became close with your family, it was at this pivotal point where I was finally gaining the confidence to talk about that and talk about other things out loud to other people, right? And your family was always um such a support group that never blinked an eye when I would say this crazy [ __ ] Ever. never blink an eye or think I was weird or you know and so [laughter and clears throat] I get it and and I think that's what it is. It takes and which is another reason I'm doing this with you guys is it it takes support for you to be able to believe yourself. [snorts]

>> Yeah.

>> Cuz we're conditioned to believe that shit's not possible but based on what? Based on what? based on this 3D reality of small-minded people that can't begin to process things other than the physical things in front of them

>> or they gaslight themselves like you were saying.

>> Exactly. And and um Yeah. So, so that was the first experience I had. Something I have never discussed. I've talked about that a little bit. Something I've never discussed is that experience for me was more than validated when I turned 18. Okay. 10 years later, I was 18 years old and I moved to New York City [snorts] and my cousin Stevie came to visit me. Okay. And so my cousin Stevie is my mom's sister's um at at the time son. Now he's transitioned into Stevie. So she, you know, um, but at the time, uh, in that trailer park, we lived on the hill and my aunt lived in the same trailer park with Stevie below, right? So from my trailer, I could point out was small, but I could point out and almost see Steviey's trailer from where I was. So when I was 18, Stevie came to visit me in New York City and it was the I've known Stevie my whole life. I mean, you know, and but this was the first time Stevie and I hung out as two adults hanging out outside of a family get [clears throat] together, right? And so [snorts] we spent a whole night having these really serious conversations, almost like meeting each other for the first time as grown-ups. And um uh Stevie started telling me about all of the experiences that they had in that trailer park.

>> Oh.

>> And Stevie told me about I mean tons of crazy profound really vivid memories of things that his mom will attest to.

>> Um this is going to sound insane. Who get but this is the place I suppose.

>> [laughter]

>> That's right. We're asking for squares, baby.

>> So, my cousin Stevie had a little bump um in their palm, a bump, right? And then one day, Stevie woke up, the bump was gone, and there's a little line, one little line, a little white line, a little scar. And he said to his mom, he's like, "Mom, what is this scar from?" And my aunt is like, "I have no idea. You've never had surgery." And Stevie's like, "The bump is gone. It's gone. And it's healed. It's gone. And I have this scar." And it looks like a surgery scar. You know, he's never had surgery.

>> You know, my aunt Lana is like, "No, that never, you know, that's one example." Um Stevie at this dinner used to talk to me about how he um [clears throat] was visited multiple times by groups of grays

>> would

>> give information and say things.

>> And so the most profound thing about all of this, it wasn't just me telling stories and Stevie telling stories. It was the realization that Stevie said when all of these things were really at its its peak when when you know they were having all these really intense experiences um they were 16. When they were 16 I was eight.

>> Oh my god. The exact same time.

>> It was the same time, the same place, the same family.

>> Oh my god. And so when we lined it up like that, it made me realize that what I experienced was something so much bigger, so something so much more profound. And we would have connected so much earlier if we had talked about it. We never talked about it. 10 years went by and we never discussed it, you know. Um, and so from that point on, I think I've been on this trajectory and this journey probably subconsciously to find my tribe, if that makes sense, you know, to to find people that um I mean, I don't give a [ __ ] if people believe me or not. That was important to me when I was younger. I could give a [ __ ] if people believe me

>> because I am now confident to know that I can trust myself and know that my reality is mine.

>> That happened to me. It did. It something like that. I've had a lot of [ __ ] happen to me since, but that profound of an experience had not happened before or after. And it was it's like a memory in my mind. It's it's in there forever. And now I suppose it's a memory of a memory cuz that happens, you know, but it changed me. It was one of the biggest cornerstone experiences that I had had. And that was the beginning. So,

>> wow. Yeah. There's something we talk a about a lot on this show is that it seems that there may be a universal substrate around all this phenomenon. Maybe it's the same intelligent consciousness working through. Who knows? But they seem when you look at the behaviors and the protocols and the patterns of people like yourself and Stevie, it seems that they're almost breadcrumbming us. They're appearing and going away. They're doing things to get us to reach back out them to connect. So where do you think this was leading you? Or was there another experience that it led you to that took you perhaps a step further?

>> So something, and this is not me, this is not me spitting facts. This is something I've pondered. The other connection between Stevie and I is um Stevie's also an artist.

>> Mhm.

>> Okay. We always talk about this. It's creatives.

>> Yeah.

>> Isn't that weird?

>> Yeah. So, yes, it is. Well, it seems that this reality is of the creator. So, creativity is a higher state of consciousness. And Yeah. But also we talk about that if these experiences are going to happen, wouldn't it make sense to go to artists so they can portray it in different ways through art, through writing, through painting, whatever it may be.

>> Or is it chicken to the egg or is the experience having that effect where it's making their consciousness more valuable to you? We don't know. But yeah,

>> I I honestly don't know. But what I do know is for me at least as an artist, I I keep experiencing this phenomenon where um I paint a lot and I never really post anything. I paint. I never really, you know, but I paint a lot. And when I sit down to paint, I don't have a plan. I sit down with basic colors, basic shapes, and I let it talk to me and I see what it's going to become. There's been so many times where I've sat down to paint and and usually when I feel pulled to do that as a transition period for me or a confusing point of life or something I'm trying to figure out and I go into this zone and it's almost like I'm watching myself channel this vision that's not even really mine. I'm just the channel for it. And then I get to the end of the painting and I understand what it is and what it means and it tells me and it almost gives me chills at the end of the day, you know, because I am also being told what the story is or what the lesson is or or what it is I'm trying to um decide or discover, you know. Um, but uh, but yeah, I don't know what it is with creatives, but I think something I've been thinking is maybe creative people are channels like we're mediums of sort of of of sorts, right? To channel some sort of energy and um

>> 100%

>> something pivotal for me was finding um the Chapel of Sacred Mirrors and Alex Gray. Alex,

>> I've been to the chapel. God,

>> I want to go so badly.

>> It's [ __ ] incredible. [panting] And um what I love about that is you know with with the chapel of sacred mirrors it's it's a a religion now based on creativity but it's based on channeling creativity from source talking about how we are this like holy sacred vessel that's able to be this transmission box this translator where you take it from the ether and you're able to put it into this physical world. Right? So, we're like an adapter from 5D into 3D and we're that missing piece that sort of links it together, you know?

>> Absolutely. Absolutely. I just want to speak on this for a second because I think it's fascinating. You're touching on a very important thing around artists. Like sometimes we like to joke that this is, you know, god school that we're essentially learning to create in this simulation or this place and then experiencing the ramifications of our creation in suspended animation. And the whole point is to learn to not create from the self or at least understand that you are not creating selfishly. You are co-creating with the all that is. And once you can shift into that state of consciousness and I think that's what these experiences are teaching us that we're not a self, we're a we. We're a collective. You know, we're in all and something is working through us and and intelligence is permeating us and you know and connecting all things and leading us to a a grander destination. There's a grand design to this thing. I mean, anyone an interesting thing about the phenomena we're talking about is we're talking about the unknown. And any real practiced, developed, practiced artist understands that their best [ __ ] comes from the unknown, comes with a blank page. And we all start off trying to do it with our brain, imitating people we look up to, trying to plan everything. But it's not until that goes away or you're able to get out of yourself and hit that flow state that something magical happens, something spiritual happens.

>> But that's what it is. It's the flow state or the zone, right? What the [ __ ] is that?

>> What is the zone? It's a place.

>> It's a place that you visit. And to be honest, the best um uh representation of what the zone is that I one of the best ones that I've seen is Have you guys watched the Disney movie Soul?

>> Oh my god, it's coming up. It keeps coming up. It's so accurate. What is so accurate?

>> Listen, those animators have done drugs. Oh.

>> Oh, yes.

>> Those animators do psychedelics. Died and went to the other side. One or the other. There's no way.

>> Our mediumship teacher Kai says and he has like probably the most advanced he's on the show all the time. He has the most advanced knowledge of spiritism all the time. He he'll explain each deity in each plane of existence. I'm sorry, not deities, beings. Cuz there's like a mastrom of beings

>> on each realm in each causal plane.

>> I can Oh, I've exp I've done it. I've

>> not that I've done it like I read a book. I've done enough DMT at this point to and I won't get cocky with it and I won't try to be like I know stuff but in my my experiences I've become confident enough in that realm to understand in my mind it's almost like you're playing um Super Mario and there's a map of worlds and you can go to different worlds and there's different entities and different deities that are in each world and it's [clears throat] like different stations you can tune into and you encounter different things in each station

>> for sure.

>> And so I had an experience a few months ago

>> where

>> so I couldn't do any psychedelics or anything for a long time after I had the baby after I had my baby because when I had a theus it was the first time in my life that I was afraid actually afraid of anything.

>> What do you mean? I care so much about him and his life and it's so valuable and so precious. I realize that I've held it in higher regard than my own, if that makes sense. I've never been afraid for myself. I've never been, you know, not that I think I'm the [ __ ] or I'm confident. I just know that life happens as it happens and fear is something that will hold you back for always and to believe and manifest. when it comes to my kid, my [snorts] life is no longer mine anymore. My life belongs to him. And so I for a few years after I had him, I couldn't do any psychedelics or anything because I could not leave this reality, right? And so when I started doing, you know, DMT again, you know, a few years later, I was having a hard time because I'm sure as you guys know, when when you go under and when you break through and you go into the realm, you aren't you anymore.

>> Mhm. you're not you, right? And so what would happen to me is when I was coming back into my into this reality, I would be like, "Okay, I'm this is my body in this reality and and I'm a girl and my name is Ryan. My name is Ryan and I have a kid. Oh my god, where's my kid? Oh my god, where's my kid?" And I would freak out, right? And so it took a while before I was able to go in comfortably again. And um the first time I really went in hard, I got this and I don't have to explain to you guys. You know how you they tell you they you're given messages.

>> They is the right word. We always call them.

>> They know someone if someone's real. When they say they, I'm like, [laughter] well, they know what's up.

>> What else are you going to call it? Like they there's multiple. I don't know who it is. In this particular instance, it was Have you guys encountered the the matriarch matriarch? I call it Gaia or she. It's like the feminine entity that sort of oversees the realm. No,

>> I call her grandmother. Some people call her Sophia. Um, I I Yeah, I mean, people have different names. I mean, I don't I just call her grandmother cuz but I come from that that was who I'm talking about. feminine deity that's ancient and loves you but like super stern [laughter] tough love tough love. She's the only one that tells you so much. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It reminds me of my mother. My mother every time I see her, my mother walks up to me and she has this kind of look on her face like this isn't how I left you. And she just starts fixing me up and she goes, "You need a little filler here. You need a little filler here." She's like, "You [laughter] got highlight. I don't like it."

>> Yeah. She walks every time she sees me with my new hair, she walks up to me, she smiles. She goes, "I hate it."

>> YEAH. [laughter] AND I GO, YOU KNOW WHAT, MOM? I LIKE I'M LIKE, I love you. Like when you like leave this place, like who's going to just look at me and say, you look terrible. [laughter]

>> But it's But it is like that that spirit is like this is what's up cuz I love you for sure. I know what you're talking about. She knows what you're talking about, too.

>> Yeah.

>> And so I went in this one time and I and I went in with the underlying subconscious fear about leaving my baby, even if I was just leaving him mentally in this reality. And she came in like a bat out of hell and she was like my vision, my experience was she's like, "I'm going to show you something, Ryan." And she came to me as this swirling illuminated red and pink spiral tower like this, like a tower spiraling. And she was like, she was like basically saying to me, she's like, "You you're a mother now, and so you can understand me. I'm a mother and we're going to get each other now on another level because you feeling this is what I feel for all of you. And so I'm going to show you something. And she showed me this vision of my god almost makes me tear up.

>> I am getting tearary.

>> She showed me this vision of herself as this energy and then she showed me how her and I are the same energy, right? This maternal beautiful thing. And then she brought in my son and as she presented him, he was almost this cherub, which makes me think of all of these Renaissance art and cherabs. And I'm like, "Oh my god, I [ __ ] saw it, too. Holy [ __ ] this is" But she brought him to me almost as this cherub. And she showed me how he came into the spiral and he was spiraling with us. And she was like, "You're connected eternally and there's nothing you could ever do to decide against that. There's nothing in this physical realm. There's nothing in the next realm. You are bonded and you are bonded and and it's been since before you and before him and it will exist after you. And there is nothing that you can do that will ever break that or ever make it so that you aren't together. And it has nothing to do with the physical sense. You will always be together. You're you're bonded. You're one energy. As you are me, you are him. And this is what it is. And she, it's so hard to explain, but she showed me the connection. And it was, it became almost like a double helix of energy, but she showed her energy and mine and his spiraling in this beautiful tower. And it left me with this understanding that I don't have to be afraid. I have to trust myself. And and who I am is not just Ryan wearing this shirt, wearing sitting in this living room. Who I am is an energy. And who he is is an energy. and we are [ __ ] bonded forever, you know. And it gave me the confidence to trust myself again and to not be so fearful and and to not because fear is just a madeup construct that restricts us from feeling what we should feel or doing what we should do.

>> Yeah. I think you said the point was connection earlier and you know fear is the thing that disconnects us.

>> Yeah. And as we start to work with these modalities or have these experiences, I mean, if you're talking about the phenomenon from your childhood, it's trying to reconnect with us. Why, what, who, how, that's another, you know, that's another thing. But, you know, when you deal with this ancient spirit, it just wants to connect with us. It wants to heal what separ has separated us long ago that we're living in, I don't know, the wake of.

>> Yeah. And so now, and I don't know if anyone else has experienced this, now when I go when I go into DMT now, um I go in with a different mindset and I go in with intention and I go in not with questions like I demand, but like I go in with intention basically and I call to her and I go to her like she feels like my mother. She feels like my grandmother, my ancient spirit. And um so when I go in, I look for her for her guidance. And because it's almost like visiting your grandma or visiting someone that loves you no matter what. And there's nothing you can do. You can go with a stupid [ __ ] haircut.

>> You could [laughter] go with, you know what I mean? You could, you know, and they're going to love you unconditionally. Yeah. It is the amount of unconditional love from the other side. Like when you get to experience it is it's truly other world worldly. Like it the only thing I could ever sort of like equate it to is like the love that a dog has for someone where they're JUST LIKE [screaming] you know what I mean? Like that sort of love like you could do anything and that dog's going to love you.

>> It makes me cry when I see it and I haven't seen it in a while. Especially if there's like distance. I can get a little like fear, anxiety or like overcontrolling about how it's being done and this like I don't know. I think it's just like

>> that can occur. I I I don't know. But all I know is I always in this place if I have any fear, anxiety or whatever it is and I enter the space, I just I always just kind of cry because it just seems so foolish, you know? It's it's so patient and always there. That's a weird thing. It's always

>> slaps you on the wrist though, too, cuz you know better. I've done DMT before knowing like I don't really need this right now but and then I go in and it slaps you on the wrist and it's likeh you know better what are you doing

>> and then it throws you for a [ __ ] loop. Have you guys had that happen?

>> It's like don't do it just to do it. Like you have a reason. You have to come in here with an intention. That's the whole point.

>> I always tell people it's not a drug. I'm like a drug never tells you to stop doing it. A drug's never like no no no no no no go integrate this [ __ ] Like come on. This ain't a joke. like you go work on what we talked about like was for fun.

>> For a minute I developed a fear going into um into the realm because I was getting I kept getting visited by the [ __ ] machine elves. Oh,

>> the little ones that want to take things apart and they want to like for me they always like drill almost. They want to like spiral physical reality into, you know, to see how it's made.

>> And so the last time I encountered them, the grandmother, mother, Gia, you know, Sophia came to me and she was like, "Okay, look, you have a toddler, right? And what do toddlers do? They play with [ __ ] and they break [ __ ] Not cuz they have bad intentions, but because they're curious. And curiosity is something that's so human. And she explained to me that all of these different entities in these realms sort of represent all the different sides of humanity. And these machine elves almost represent and like focus on like curiosity.

>> They're just curious. They're not good or bad. They're curious. They want to see how it's made. They want to see how it's And she explained to me that I can't be And again, she was like, "You're a mom now. You have to when you encounter them, when they come to you, treat them like you treat your toddlers. Like, uh uh uh not right now. I understand you're curious. Put it away right now. We're not doing this right now. And speak to them with kindness and compassion and patience because they're children that are trying to discover how things are.

>> That's what she told me. That's wisdom you just dropped.

>> Crazy, right? That's cool.

>> The power of of of the mother of the sacred mother. Wow,

>> dude. We're homies now.

>> Yes.

>> Not but I also but I also don't want to say it like that cuz I also have so much respect for it and her that I don't want to get cocky and be like, "Yeah, we're bros."

>> You're not being You're being playful about it because it's so far out. You're not trying to be cocky. You're saying like we're homies because that's a hilarious way to put it. [laughter]

>> It's a hilarious way to put it and it's the honestly it's the only way to do it without ego. Uh I what I'm very curious about is how did your work with DMT change your perception of the phenomenon you experienced in your youth and have you ever encountered quote unquote ETSs in your psychedelic experiences?

>> Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

>> Do tell.

>> I had a few more experiences before I ever tried DMT.

>> A few pretty profound ones.

>> Tell us. Um,

>> oh my god, where does the list even begin and end?

>> At the beginning, take it from last we left off. You were 18 with Stevie.

>> It's hard because some of my experiences are me experiencing my mom experience things.

>> Oh, that's even more profound.

>> Um, and her stories, I mean, you should have my [ __ ] mom on this podcast. She will tell you the craziest [ __ ] And it's real. I've been with her as she's Yeah. Um,

>> where is she?

>> Pennsylvania.

>> Okay. Maybe we'll get you two. We're building a new studio in North Carolina. Maybe we'll get you two to come stay for a weekend. We'll do a show with the two of you.

>> We'll bring my mom in. Tanya's mom will fly out. We'll make

>> for Mother's Day. I'm down. We'll make Tanya's mom do DMT. [laughter]

>> My mom did DMT with me last last Easter. My mom did it.

>> Are you serious?

>> My mom did.

>> Did she like it?

>> She cried. She cried. And she came out saying, "Thank you. Thank you."

>> Yeah. And I was proud of her cuz my mom's not My mom doesn't do stuff.

>> She's like DMD. Yeah. [laughter]

>> But it was important for me because she trusted me.

>> Yes.

>> Yeah. Same.

>> That was

>> Yeah. It's such an honor.

>> That's huge. I literally the day that uh my dad and Cody met was my dad's 65th birthday and [laughter]

>> first time meeting him and we went up we went we're engaged and we went up north and it was my dad's birthday and I was like oh dad by the way tomorrow we're going to do a mushroom ceremony and him and his girlfriend are like I'm sorry what

>> yeah news to me too and his dad was super her dad was super guarded when I met I was like

>> he's just meeting him he's like I don't know this guy like whatever But uh the fact that both of them trusted me and I ended up doing the same thing with my mom for her 65th birthday and I'm like how cool is that that I have parents that trust me enough to do something that's out of their comfort zone. And also kind of without question just like okay if you think like beautiful it's so amazing. It's gorgeous, but it also makes a lot of sense because when you actually break it down, it's like

>> society wants us all to get together and get drunk.

>> The [ __ ] is that?

>> You're just detaching yourself from yourself and from your loved ones.

>> Alcohol is a [ __ ] neurotoxin and it's pushed. Oh, that's great. That's great.

>> You don't drink. It's a It disconnects you. No, dude. How can you after you do this [ __ ]

>> It's also poisonous to our world.

>> It's so bad. It's so bad. It's it's and it's it's making our connection and community disconnected. I mean, how many people do we know they go on a date and they drink and then they have sex with a person and then they get electromagnetically and spiritually entangled with that person and then they realize that they're not right for each other. But it's the alcohol that numbs themselves and and puts themselves in that position where they've now gotten too close and now they have to go through this brutal uncoupling. Do you know what I'm saying?

>> It keeps people energetically handicapped. Yeah.

>> Numb.

>> Numb. Disconnected from themselves. A friend of mine, his name is Adam, he has this philosophy he he's he likes to talk about, he's talked about and he told me and I'd like to share it maybe with you guys. It's not mine. Belongs to my friend Adam.

>> He says that if you think about like drugs, what we classify as drugs, right? Caffeine is a drug. Yasil is a drug. Heroin is a drug.

>> Drugs. This [ __ ] category. It's ridiculous. It's all in the same thing.

>> He's like, "Think about it like a telescope, right? And imagine you're standing on Earth and you're looking at the moon, right? Alcohol is like turning turning the telescope the wrong way and looking into the big side and all of a sudden the moon you want to see so clearly is so much more far away. It's just a dot. You're just disconnecting yourself, right? And then you put it back to normal and you see the moon and you but you know you can see it more clearly. So you turn the telescope the right way and you look in. And he said that's what psychedelics do.

>> Yes. [laughter]

>> He said very accurate.

>> Something that's real that exists and it magnifies what's already true.

>> Right. But people are so used to alcohol meaning they're so used to the telescope being turned the wrong way. Right? And so for me, when my mom, you know, tried DNT with me, it it allowed me to know that I was successful in my life because I've grown up to be um grounded enough and open-minded enough and intelligent enough to make choices that are uh important. And even though something is controversial and illegal in most places according to our [ __ ] government,

>> Mhm.

>> it's illegal for a reason and it's because

>> they don't they don't want people waking up.

>> It would change society.

>> It would change society completely.

>> Nobody would deal with

>> Nobody would want to [ __ ] fight with each other. Nobody would give a [ __ ] about the Kardashians or about the my [ __ ] Gucci bag or about No one would give a [ __ ] and and then and then the economy would

Fail and and lots of religions would fail because everyone would realize that every religion is talking about the same thing, just with different names. And so everyone's arguing about the translation of the truth because it's different names and different characters, but it's the same message.

Yeah. Right. Semantic confusion. We fight about it and kill each other over it. Like it's absolutely insane. And but we need to, cuz if we're not fighting each other about something, what are we going to do? Come together collectively. That would be crazy.

Yeah. It's interesting when you look at when you read like things on SCOPs, like how the CIA works, like if they, they literally like if you read their scop programs, they just put conflicting narratives out to divide people because they're easier to control and it paralyzes.

Exactly. It's it's it's truly amazing. Another interesting thing is that the drug war was pretty much created to shut down the Vietnam war protests. So, you know, and I remember I actually read the transcripts of the of like I guess the I guess the hearing that was making drugs illegal, like uh the war on drugs, right? Nixon's war on drugs. And they literally there's this line in it. They say that that essentially these these drugs, these psychedelics will deculturate the people. And it's like, yes, that's exactly what they do. But they're saying they're going to take away our culture, you know, and that's what they do. But we have a sick culture.

The war on drugs was really a war on peace.

Facts.

Mhm.

Because the drugs that they were trying to get rid of were psychedelics. And the psychedelics were making people protest the war because everyone was realizing we're all one. Why are we doing this? I don't want to fight you. You want I don't want to fight. And it was making people realize it's it's pointless. It's ignorance. It's it's killing for no reason over borders that we made up. And people were waking the up and and they didn't want to do this anymore. And so the war on drugs was a war on people that were fighting for peace. Actually.

It's true. It's true. You can't have a war on an inanimate object. It's a war on people. And it really was and is a war on drugs.

If it were if it was an actual war on drugs, they would have eliminated alcohol.

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, how many how many uh how many people die? How many homes are ruined by alcohol? And then you look at, you know, you don't you don't see that. I'm not saying people can't people can abuse and ruin everything. People are peopley. Every inst we we we mess up we mess up everything.

It's our favorite saying.

People are people. I want to I want to take us back cuz I know we have a lot. I want to take us back to center your mom's experiences.

My my mom's um a big one in our family is um I had an uncle that passed away um from suicide and he was very young.

I'm sorry.

Right. multiple like a lot of people in my family um have been visited by him.

Really vividly. My my mom, a few of her sisters, um my dad when he was alive, you know, like um things like that. Um she's been visited a few a few different times. Um and I could tell her stories. I would rather her do it. Um, why don't you tell one of them?

Okay. After my uncle killed himself, it's brutal to say that way.

My uncle did too.

Okay.

Too technically in different ways.

Yeah. My uncle lived with my grandpa. I think he was in his 20s. And uh, you know, afterwards, my family came together and had to clean everything.

Right? And so my grandpa was disturbed. Obviously, he found him.

You know, and so my mom was sleeping at my grandpa's house for a little while to stay with my grandpa so he wasn't alone, you know. And so my mom was sleeping in my uncle's room. And my mom was dead ass asleep. And she woke up in the middle of the night cuz she heard Diane. It's my mom's name. Diane. And my mom thought it was her dad. My mom's like, "Oh god." And she woke up and she's like, "What? What?" And she's she gets up and she hears it again, "Diane, loud." So she gets out of bed and she starts walking down the hall and he keeps yelling, "Diane." And she starts running down the hall thinking something happened to her dad and she's hearing it and she's running and running and running. She runs down the steps. His bedroom's downstairs. And she hears it coming from his bedroom. She runs into his bedroom and she bust bursts open the door and she looks and he is dead asleep.

Whoa.

She realized in that moment she said she felt it. It was her brother. He was screaming at her. He was calling to her. Right. And so years later, I was 15. Um and I was at my house and my best friend Nancy uh was at my house and she had a curfew and she had to be home and and she was already late. So she was backing out of my driveway. We live in the woods. And she got her car stuck in the irrigation ditch.

Done. Jeez. Done. Okay. Done. And the funny part is she was rushing home cuz her parents were like, "You need to be home." She was rushing home cuz her parents bought her a new car. Oh no. She got her car, current car stuck in our ditch. Anyway, the next day, my mom and and her husband had to get literally a tow truck, like a truck, and tow the car out, like hook it with the hitch and pull my friend's car out of this ditch in my yard. And so they're doing this and my friend and I thought it was hilarious. And my mom is sitting in the, you know, in her blazer at the time with this long chain attached to the um the other car. And we live out in the middle of the nowhere in the middle of the woods. And uh I'm walking up the driveway and and I get up the car and I get to my mom and I and her window's down and I you know go like this and I get in the car window and my mom is sitting in her car crying crying and I'm like, "Oh my god, are you okay? What's the the deal?" And she's like shaking like this. She's shaking. She's crying and she's like, "Ryan, I just saw my brother." And I was like, "What do you mean you just saw my brother?" And she's like, I look, she's in the driveway, you know, and she's like, I looked in my rearview mirror and he was standing in the middle of the driveway.

Just standing there.

Right? And we have a long driveway.

And at this point, he had died, God, 10 years before.

Wow.

And and you know, and she saw him saw him so much. She was shaking and crying. And um my mom's had dreams, crazy vivid dreams about crazy happening and then she'll see it on the news, stuff like that.

Wow.

You know.

Um.

And so I think because of that um my sister and I grew up uh in a reality where that stuff wasn't novelty, right? It happens to you.

Mhm.

And so whenever it would happen to me when I was young, my mom would say to me, I would freak out and cry and get all, you know, my mom would say, she would hold me and she would say, "Ryan, I am so sorry that this is happening to you. I if I could take it away and have it happen to me, I would. But you have to understand that it's a gift. And don't close your mind. If you're ever afraid, know that nothing will hurt you. And to ask questions. Who are you? What are you? What is it that you want? why are you coming to me? And she's like, you have to be brave enough to understand that you have a sight that not everyone sees and it's real and don't let it fade, you know."

Dang, mom.

Mommy. Yeah. Wow.

Every kid needs to hear that. That experiences the supernatural paranormal.

No. And it's helped me, too, cuz as I told you guys earlier, my son just had his first.

Do you want to tell us?

I would love to, cuz it really freaked me out. We abandoned the upstairs after this. It's been a year and a half. We haven't slept upstairs in a year and a half. I'm not kidding. We sleep together in the guest room now. I have a bedroom. He has a bedroom. We abandon the upstairs of my house. This was crazy this one time.

Tell us.

So, what's funny is my son and I are laying in my bed in my bedroom and I got one of those galaxy lights. You know the galaxy lights? We have them in our place. Galaxy lights. So, we're laying in bed and uh my son's favorite thing of the time was to sing songs but replace different words to make it your own, right? And so, we're laying in bed and he's being so silly and the galaxy lights on and I had my phone recording because he never gets to see my family. So, I try to take videos of funny, you know, to send home. And uh I was recording minutes before of him giggling and laughing and giggling and laughing. and we're laying next to each other and then all of a sudden he goes he's like mom something is happening and I was like what what's happening and he goes he's like the what the world is stopping the universe is stopping something is happening and I was like what are you talking about my dude right and we're laying next to each other and he's looking at me so we're laying like on our backs facing each other, right? And he's looking me dead ass in the eye and he's confused all of a sudden and he's only four, right? He's he's not making up. Like, you can watch on your children's face what their emotions that they're going through. Like, so I'm looking at him and he's looking at me. So, right. And all of a sudden, he does this. We're making eye contact and he goes and he sees it. He goes like this and he locks on something behind me. Behind me, right? And so I can't see it, but you know, you know.

Yeah.

You feel it. You know.

And I know my son and I knew that he was looking at something, right? And so I'm frozen and I'm looking at him and he's like this looking above me, right? And his face is blank, totally blank. And then all of a sudden he goes like this. He starts waving.

He smiled the biggest smile and starts waving back, right? And so at this point, I have goosebumps.

I have chills.

I have goosebumps. And I'm like, in my mind, I'm like, "Okay, don't freak out. Don't freak out. Don't freak out. You're the."

But I'm But I'm also right.

But I'm also like, "Okay." And I said, "Atheas, Atheus." I'm like, "Atheus?" And he goes, "Mom, whose hand is that?"

And I said, "What?" And he goes, and then all of a sudden his face changes completely like And his tears start coming out and he goes, "Mom, whose hand is that?" And he's going, "Who's waving at me? Who is waving at me?" Like, who is that? Like he was in a trance and snapped out of it.

Yeah. swear to God. And I said I said, "Okay." I said, "Okay, we're going to go downstairs now." If everything's all right, we're going to go downstairs. And I picked him up. I couldn't even turn around. I picked him up. And in my mind, I'm thinking, "Don't run. Don't run. Don't run. Calm, cool, collected. You're not the child. You're the parent." Oh, and I held him and I walked. Oh, it was the fastest walk I've ever done. But it was a walk. It was a walk.

Um and uh yeah.

And so um and for like two weeks afterwards, he wanted he wanted to talk about it. And he said it looked like I'm like, "Baby, just like my mom did." And I learned this from my mom. I'm like, "Baby, when you're ready to talk about it, we can talk about it, honey. I'm" And I said the same thing to him that my mom said to me. I said, "I am so sorry this is happening to you. I wish it were happening to me. I'm with you. Nothing is going to happen to you, right? What you saw is what you saw. Let's talk about it." Right? And and he said it looked like a slappy hand. You know what slappy is?

Like with against the wall, the marionette. Like slappies is like the goosebumps. Marionette.

Oh Jesus.

He said it looked like a slappy hand. He said it was black and it came out of the corner like this and it waved to him.

That's so creepy.

And I said to him, now keep in mind he's four at the time. I said to him, I said, "Okay, was it friendly or not friendly?" And he said, "It was not friendly." And I said, "Well, how do you know it was not friendly?" And he said, "Because it wanted me to believe it was friendly." How up is that?

Oh, so what four-year-old says that?

Oh, he's my my He's five now. He's on another level. He told me the other day he's bored with this reality. I'm like, "Baby," I'm like, "Honey, I'm like,

You're bored now.

I'm like, "Baby, you got a while to go. You got a while to go."

Yeah. Wow.

But he said he said not friendly because it wanted me to believe that it was friendly. So he was able to know telepathically that it was that it was tricking him.

Wow.

Some right there.

Anyway, it's been a year and a half since we've slept upstairs.

Oh my god.

I'm not kidding. The beds are always made up there.

Oh my god.

That is crazy.

Oh my god. But I have so many thoughts on this.

Kids are just so tuned in, too. And good on you. I cuz I I keep thinking about that. I'm like, cuz we're going to try to have a kid. Are we having trying to have a kid? And we're like,

What?

I'm like, oh my god, what if they say some And then I'm like, oh right? I forgot I'm the adult. I have to be cool. I have to be cool.

Even though I'm freaking out.

My son's been asking me a lot of questions about um heaven and God and all of those things. It's been an interesting experience explaining things to him because I'm not trying to dumb things down, but I also want to be confident in what I'm saying. And that's been hard cuz I don't know yet.

Yeah.

About what?

He expects the truth from me and I don't know what the truth is. I know what I've experienced and I know what I think is true, right? Um, but for a a small child who's 5 years old who's trying to process this 3D world, it's hard to tell him that there's so many other layers of reality.

You know what I mean?

Have you asked him what he thinks it is? We talk about it sometimes because he hears about it at school.

And he hears but my problem is that he hears about heaven in the same sense that I heard about heaven where you think you show up in your favorite outfit and all your favorite people are going to be there and you have your favorite shoes on and it's physical and it's cuz that's how I had always thought about it and that's why I rebelled against the idea cuz I'm like that's ridiculous.

Yeah. You know, and now I'm realizing that like a lot of things actually my last EMT experience, they showed me a physical model of what enlightenment is.

Oo, do you tell.

It was an orange glowing dodcahedron with all these different sides and and it opened up to look like a ladder and it showed me that everyone is able to climb the ladder but you it's almost like when a video game restarts and you have to climb it again, right? But sometimes you have a stopping point and you can go back to that level that you checked in at.

Yeah.

Right. And it was showing me all of the different levels of enlight enlightenment. Right? But how do you explain that to a 5-year-old? Especially when you don't even know what it is that you're processing, you know? And so what I've been telling him is like cuz his problem, my son's problem with reality, he's he's like, "This reality sucks."

He's like He's like, "I don't have X-ray vision."

This kid rocks.

He goes, "I don't have X-ray vision. I can't move anything with my mind."

Real talk. I can't levitate. He's like, "The is this?

I want my money back last."

He's bummed. And so.

These are valid complaints.

They are the manager, please.

And all I can say is I know, dude. I feel the same way. I What do I say? I know it sucks. I'm with you in this.

Um, but what I've been telling him recently is like, you do have powers and you are able to do things. You're just not able to access it yet cuz you're thinking of it in too little of dimensions. You're thinking of this world, but your mind is so much more powerful than that. I said, "Think about the dream world.

Think about the astral world." Right? Think about all these other layers of reality that you do have power in.

Yeah.

And so when he's been going to sleep now, when I've been putting him down um in bed, I I tell him, I'm like, "Okay, now it's time to explore the other reality. What are you going to dream about tonight?"

So what a cool mom.

You know, like what do you want to think about? That's cool.

I think that's that's so fascinating talking to you about bringing this all into motherhood. Then as Tanya said, we're trying to have a kids. So this is these are we're starting to have these conversations.

One of our favorite pastimes is to dissect how they or spirit or the medicines or whatever the methodologies they use to to teach and we'll hold space. We see that the medicine will greet someone from wherever they are. Maybe if you're Christian, you get Jesus. uh you're Buddhist, you get the Buddha. My nerdy friend gets Rick and Morty, right? And it meets them on the level of their cultural program. It also communicates through symbols, right? So, we all understand that when we're having an experience of oneness, it's amorphice. It's everything. It's an experience. It's not a word. It's not a idea. Do you know what I mean? It's a state of being, right? So, and and and the more we thought about it, it started to explain, you know, parables, which you always hear these really stupid parables, these like old these what like the gurus would say that like, oh, the mouse in the cave, right? Kai would say like the frog in the well meets the frog in the ocean. These sort of these kids stories, but it's I guess that's how we go from one state of consciousness to the next is sort of with this hypersimplified personified way. So, right, you know, we hear, "Oh, God and heaven and this and we're like, you know, we go, what sky daddy? What? Santa Claus? Are you just sky daddy?"

Santa. Yeah, that's what everyone said. He's I'm Sky Daddy and if you do good, I give you presents and you know, and then there's bad sky daddy and if you do bad, you go to bad sky daddy and tortures you for eternity with Hitler. So, I don't just you and Hitler getting tortured for eternity. The point is this is it's this crude rudimentary stories but they're used to sort of point towards the higher state of consciousness. It's not the higher state of conscious. You know what I'm saying?

But I also feel like for me at least dumbing down the story into layman's terms made it less believable for me cuz my mind was already on a.

I agree.

Higher.

I agree it cuz because we're just seeing the fraudulence in the story, the lie. We're feeling the lie. It's like just tell me the truth.

Yeah.

But sometimes though I think it's important though because so even like on this show I mean the people that watch this show have already usually been on their journey like a little bit. Um, but I remember when I first started my journey like I could not understand a lot of the esoteric concepts that that were being taught to me. And I like I understood them on like what I was reading but not on like the actual like what they actually actually meant. And it took me many years of learning things and to be able to get to that point. And I think that everyone has to start at some place. And every single person goes on the journey and they all have to hit all the different spots. And maybe, you know, you came in into this life with uh remembering pieces of your last life or something like that that allowed you to be like, "No, I understand this at a different level."

So, one thing that's so true, right? And the reason I know that I know that that's true is my experiences with astral projecting.

Uh what.

Right?

I didn't know what the term was. I don't know what astral projecting is. That's not what you talk about in elementary school. It's not what you talk about with your friends. I had this experience when I lived in Brooklyn and I What year was it? I lived with Patty right across from the Bushwick Country Club. So I was probably 20 24 around that time and I had this experience where um I was laying in bed and I was in this I suppose a sort of a dream state but it didn't feel like a dream state. It felt a little bit like a trance almost like sleep paralysis. Right? I've experienced that. I need to tell you that story.

Wow.

About the creature. Anyway.

You have stories for days.

I have so many stories.

Um, and so I was laying in bed and and what I remember now is thinking to myself, I saw this sounds insane. I don't think I've ever said this out loud.

No, it doesn't say the words out loud.

So, I was laying in bed and the memory I have is thinking to myself, "Oh, they're not here to hurt me. They're my friends. I don't have to be afraid. I don't have to be afraid. They're not here to hurt me." But in my mind, they it was small gray. They physical small gray physically in my room. They right.

That's what I remember. The next thing I remember is I was doing this thing where my consciousness I remember thinking I knew I could do it. I knew I could do it. I have to hit this thing where I go this way and I came out of my body and I was in my room above myself looking at myself. And in my bedroom in Brooklyn, I had one of these waterfall spiral clothing racks, right? That's a it's like a circle and it goes like this. It was in the corner of my room like a circle and in my state I came out of my body and I came up to the corner of the room like when you look at a corner how's how how there's three walls one two three it's a ceiling and two walls and I felt the ceiling on my back and I went like this and I felt the two walls on my arms and I was above the clothing rack and I remember putting my feet down on the rack under me right and when I was having this happen the freakiest thing is every time and I realized now now it was astral projection, right? And in that moment, it was like this rolodex of memories came rushing in of every other time that I've done it and that I've experienced it. And the one thing I tell myself every single time is it's real. Remember this time. Remember this time. Remember, take it into reality. Don't forget this time. This is real. And I had this catalog like an like a hidden folder of every other time that it's happened to me. I remember sharing a bedroom with my sister when I was eight and it happened. I remember all these other times and I could only remember all of them when I was in this state. And this is the one time the state finally clicked and I had access permanent access to to the rolodex of memories of it. And I didn't know what it was called or what I was doing or anything like that, but I remember the feeling of it and what it feels like to leave your body and come out of your body and to look at your self like that, right?

Wow.

Um.

And the small grays were there at the beginning. You remember that?

But I don't remember them specifically. I remember thinking, I don't have to be afraid. They're not here to hurt me, if that makes sense.

Of course, it makes sense. And so the reason I say it felt like sleep paralysis is because Balls and I had that dope ass house and we had this dope house on a cliff. On a cliff. Sorry. Um in Pennsylvania and um I was alone in this big house by myself and um I was laying in bed and I and I had we had two Pomeranians at the time. Casper, the little one I adopted from.

Cheyenne.

And uh Toronto, right? And you know, little dogs, if there's like if a table moves or if a door opens, they they always bark at anything.

So, I'm laying in bed, you know, I fell asleep with the with the two dogs and all of the sudden I wake up and I knew something was wrong. I knew something was wrong. And I remember thinking to myself, okay, I opened my eyes and and The Office was playing on the TV in front of me and I remember Michael Scott's face. Like it was the episode where he was prison mic. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Uh and I opened my eyes and and Michael Scott's face was on TV, but I couldn't move my body. Couldn't move my head. Couldn't. And I remember thinking, I know something is wrong, but if someone were in the room, the dogs would be barking. And I remember thinking to myself, all I have to do is make sure the dogs are here. Are the dogs here? Are the dogs here? The They're here. Okay, everything's all right. I'm just gonna And then I fell back asleep. Right. The next thing I remember is I'm laying on my back. My shoulder, right? Like, say this is the bed. Say this chair is the bed behind me, right? My shoulder went like this, like boom, boom, boom. Faster than I could move my shoulder. Someone was shaking my shoulder. Okay. Boom, boom, boom. Hit the bed three times. Boom, boom, boom. Someone was going 1 2 3 shaking my shoulder physically. My shoulder was hitting the mattress.

Like if somebody was trying to wake you up or something.

And the thought that I had was like, you know how sometimes you have a thought and it's a millisecond and you have a bunch of thoughts and you process it all even this one second. Before I open my eyes, I was like, "Okay, I'm gonna open my eyes and someone's going to be standing here. It's either, you know, my boyfriend at the time, you know, who came home early and is surprising me, or someone broke into my house and there's someone in my house. But open your eyes cuz I knew someone was there. I knew. And I opened my eyes. And I saw, swear to you, I saw a tall, skinny mantisy shaped being booking it across the room. It was at the bed, but by the time I opened my eyes, it was booking it across the room towards the corner. Right when it got to the corner of the room, and I watched it for only a second, but long enough to see how it moved, how it walked, how its arms moved, when it moved, how it whatever. And then when my brain processed what it was and my brain had the understanding of like it's tall, it's moving like this. The second I processed what it is and it clicked it I felt it realize that I saw it and processed it and I felt it know that I knew like I saw it and it knew that I saw it and I knew telepathically that it was spotted and it knew it was spotted. The last second I saw it, it went like this, like like life was a video game and you change your character's outfit instantly. And it became the back of a gray heathered hoodie with the hood up.

But we were still connected telepathically. And it wanted in the same way that the hand wanted a theist to believe it was friendly. This thing wanted me to believe I was seeing the back of a gray hoodie because that's something my brain could process. But I felt it change for that reason. Like it wanted me to think I saw something that my brain could relate to.

Wow.

Holy.

You know what I mean?

But I saw it. We've experienced the mantises before. So literally one.

Not in the physical space like that.

No, I have. What?

I have once. Literally in our old apartment. You were I think you were in New York or something like that. I was literally like sitting and meditating in the bedroom like broad daylight and all of a sudden I like felt something behind me like over my left shoulder and I was like and there's a wall behind me like I'm sitting on the bed and I I'm like okay what is that? And I'm used to like feeling spirits and stuff like that. I literally turn around and it looks like there's no like a portal behind me like it's like there's no wall and there's a mantis standing right there like a giant one like a 10-ft tall sort of like giant mantis and then it's like and then blinks out and I flipped my and ran outside and I was like I can't do this right now. I'm like I am dead sober middle of the day like meditating.

And the craziest thing is every time this happens and I've seen them in ceremony like op doing operations on me with the Dr. or whatever. Often always the next day.

They're on my window. I'm sorry. A prey mantis is on my window sitting on my car sitting in our garden. We walk out never see a premantis. There it is sitting on a flower looking at us like what's up? And I'm like what the is reality?

I think they're scientists.

No, I I I don't think they're bad. I don't think they're bad.

The feeling I get.

But but we can't Something I've realized is like we always say like do you think they're good or do you think they're bad? That's super relative and that and good and bad is a human construct.

100%.

That good and bad is relative to person. It's just that's totally not.

You know, every person has a different definition of good and bad.

It's about intention.

Right? And intention isn't intention, you know. Um, but do you guys watch the Y files?

Yes, of course. Love that show.

Thank you.

Um, did you guys watch the one on the Mantis?

No.

It's cool. Yeah.

Yeah. Because a guy described, well, I won't ruin it for you, but a guy's fishing and he said he felt weird and felt this weird thing and he looked up and there was like an 8ft mantis creature basically. And what gets me is like it's almost uh this satisfaction feeling of not I told you so, but like welcome to the club. swear. You know what I mean? Like welcome to the club, swear. I remember when I had my first.

You're a You're a fisherman and you saw a mantis alien out of nowhere and you think you're crazy now. Welcome to the club, you weirdo.

Explain that one to your friends.

I got to tell this story. It's so up. Uh it's okay. It's so up. It's so up. And the worst thing part about this is my my sister-in-law who's from Ireland and like totally one of us. her sister like comes in who flies in for the first time who's very Christian and very conservative and like I just, you know, I just the freak flag's half mass. I've just completely just just completely forgot that I'm supposed to like be normal at this point. So, we were like hanging out and I just felt called to tell this story in the middle of a very quiet cafe to her and and obviously upset her so much that she had to get up and just leave the room. I mean, I don't even think she made an excuse. No, she left the room. Like, where'd she go? And she's like off playing with the child like in another room.

Going to go play with the children.

Yeah, I felt really bad. But this is the story. So, the story is I won't name names, but the head of a streaming platform, okay, is like lowkey a little little psychic. I don't know, you know, lowkey. And they do these conferences, and this is how the story goes. The conference, they're at this conference, and he's looking at a woman, and it keeps flashing in his head, Mantis. Mantis. He keeps hearing Mantis. So, you know, he's working on his psychic abilities, you know? He's like, "Should I go say something to her? Like, what do I do?" Like, I don't know. So, he's like he's like, "Fuck it. Whatever. I'm going to try." So, he walks up some random woman. He says, "Hey, I'm so sorry. This might be weird, but does the word mantis mean anything to you today?" And she looks around and she says, "Come with me." And she brings him out of the room over into like, I don't know, some little nook where nobody is. and she leans in and she whispers to him and she says, "Every day for the past seven years during my lunch break, I've been having sex with an 8-ft tall premantis being. And in the beginning, it used to feel like rape, but now it's the best part of my day."

And I told this to my sister-in-law's sister who's super Christian. And she's like, I'm going to go into the other room and play with the children. I was like, I'm so sorry. I've totally forgotten to be normal. I'm so sorry. SORRY. I'M NOT HAVING SEX WITH THE PREY MAN. THIS is some ladies. It's not me, dude. Wild.

No, I'm kind of like, how do you get on that list?

Hey yo, be careful what you wish for. Ryan tells us, "Oh my god, you guys, I shouldn't have said anything with a mantis dick." Mantis dick.

I have no idea. There's a lot of like I don't know. I assume that if she's having this experience, she is interpreting the experience as sex because that's how her human brain can can process it.

Or she is and it's her astral body. Who knows?

I don't know. Who knows? I don't even know who this lady is. I don't well yeah there is a lot to discuss on this because I've also like rabbit holed down the the human ET like hybridization program all these people talking about you know crossbreeding and and all of these things and that in itself sounds and seems insane but it's not at all like everything we're doing now as a species in terms of um genetics crisper um all of those things seem insane But for me, a lot of it goes back to some of these biblical stories and and things like this where they're trying to describe medical innovation and cloning and genetics to children cuz we were children. We were fetal. Like, how do you explain to how do you explain, you know, astrophysics to a 5-year-old?

There's a rocket and it goes up. You know, you know what I mean?

Sky Daddy.

Sky Daddy. Yeah. Um, so and I don't know. I I I don't know what the answer is. Um.

I have I've I've been like I have so many thoughts on this.

Do you guys watch Cosmic Disclosure with David Wilcox and Cory Good?

We have not like a lot.

So I watched this a really really long time ago and Corey Good talks about being part of the MIAB the MYAB program and he started off very young as a kid in this program basically. What he says, what Cory Good says is um there's 12 different genetic programs that have been taking place on Earth, right? 12 different genetic human experiments by 12 different groups. And it's not good or bad. There is no good or bad, but there's 12 different control groups that have been going on for 25,000 years. Basically, 12 different programs.

And he said he said he was a part of it. He was part of the mab or myab program. Um, which Have you guys ever done anything on your show about that? About the myab or mab program?

No.

It's a black ops secretive program in the government where they basically find intuitive children and bring them into this program. And the children start working with the government from really young ages. And there's a few people that have come forward now saying they've been part of this for a long time.

Whoa.

Yeah.

But I mean that's that's kind of what I was going to say is so we had a molecular biologist on recently. We interviewed him. Uh and it's interesting he essentially found non-parental data in abductees actually in a large swath of people. And he uses he's we saw this article. We found him in the Daily Mail and essentially what he's pointing to is a genetic intervention from higher dimensional beings or ETSs. And so one of the things that we've been had surgeries this kind of what happens in plant medicine. We've all experienced the feeling of getting tuned up or operated on.

Not everybody.

Not everybody and and honestly I think that.

One I don't remember most of it. And I know this because a lot of times the one times I do remember I remember seeing it and going, "Oh my god, you made me forget this."

So this molecular biologist had has done all this work to find non-parental DNA and he's pointing towards an interventionalist thing happening with from ETSs or aliens. And it it seems that the upgrades that are being done is to heal this illusion of separation. Uh it is to reconnect the many to the one so we can get out of this illusion. Call it Maya, call it separation. It's what they're doing.

The matrix.

The matrix. The symptom of the procedures seem to be what one might call mediumship, spiritual development. uh and it actually is because what that is is perceiving the all that is instead of being limited by the illusion of the self which is perpetuating the separation. So this is heightened empathy premonitions astral projection enhanced creativity remote viewing clairvoyance telepathy you name it it's psychic mediumship phenomenon. So after all these interviews and our own experiences and sitting with people like yourself, patterns really start to emerge and it really seems to be that what we know as neurode divergence which are these highly sensitive creative people actually seems like an evolutionary mutation towards well really where we're going as a species and that's in more harmony and awareness of the spiritual realms and our creator that we are already there. We are just opening up to our family that the reality that's all around us. We are returning to heaven so to speak or realizing we're already in heaven and have dreaming of this reality waking up from that slumber and it feels like these these things coming on now. Learning to navigate these realms, discern these realms, not have fear of these realms. I think that is what we're all wrestling through with the show. But it does seem like what we're staring at the face of is our collective evolution and it's just being put in these boxes currently known as abductee experiencer uh you know clairvoyant psychic. Do you know what I'm saying?

And there's always been all these boxes, right? Like when I was a kid, I was like, "Oh, there's the alien kids, then there's the ghost kids, then there's the Jesus kids, then there's the" And you were all in these different boxes. Like there's the reptile kids, you know what I mean? That kid collects snakes. You know.

I was a ghost kid.

You were a ghost kid, right? Me, too. But for me, the the ghosts and the aliens, like I remember the day I had the epiphany of.

Holy. What if all of this is connected?

It's all connected. It's all connected. It's all one.

It's our perception. It's the prism of our own psyche that is discerning them. And And I don't know, but it does seem like there is. I don't know.

Well, there are different realms though of different beings. We do know that that's like that's what we're learning right now. But there there are different realms.

Have you guys looked into I'm pretty sure and please fact check me on this. Please fact check me. I'm pretty sure John's Hopkins Institute just did the largest DMT study. And there's a an institute in England I believe right now too that's putting people on a DMT drip where you could go under for hours and hours and hours.

I really want to do that.

Yeah. We we've interviewed a bunch of John Hopkins doctors.

Cool. So, I'm you know, I don't.

You're worth it.

So, um what I was reading is what they're doing now is.

You're in the realm for long enough because obviously when you take in DMT when you break through your trip is, you know, 10 minutes max. It feels like a lifetime sometimes, but really it's 10 minutes of hour a perception of time, right? But when you go under for 3 hours or 4 hours, what they're trying to do now is they're trying to map the world.

Yes. They're trying to map it now.

Yeah. We've been trying to get Tanya as a part of the study.

Because I'm really good at bringing back information. So, I really want to do that. No, I'm really good at it, too, dude. No, really.

We'll get you both girls on it and we'll get some cameras. Oh my god. Let's do it.

We'll reach out to them.

I'm down. I'm not even kidding. You want to go on an adventure?

Yeah, please.

All right. We'll see what we can do. I I'll I'll make some calls. We can make this happen. I can make this happen. I heard this thing recently that I've been thinking about um and I can't take credit for the thought. I I saw it somewhere, but it was talking about how um it's talking about layers of reality and dimensions, right? And it was in our in our, you know, allegorical human sense of something physical we can understand. It's like imagine you're a submarine. You're a submarine and you exist in the in the air, you know what I mean? And you could be in the water and in the air.

At the same time, right? But then you could submerge down lower into that level. Now all the fish in the water and all the creatures in the water water that you're surrounded by, right, can't breach the water and go into the air like you can. The submarine can breach both, you know, like land and sea, basically air and water. [snorts]

It was talking about how the different dimensions and the different layers of reality are almost like the higher dimensional beings can submerge themselves into a lower deeper level, right? A lower vibration, but we're having a problem raising our vibration to be able to go up to them. So, when we encounter these ETs and and you know, spirits and paranormal or whatever, um, they think it's either the dimensions, like you know, with ghosts, they talk about how it's the dimensions crossing and it's that cross mark, that shadow spot, right? But with the ETs, they're talking about how these higher dimensional beings have to act like a submarine and submerge themselves into a lower density to then come into our, you know, reality.

That makes sense. Absolutely. Anytime I've tried to like, cuz we've had a lot of extraterrestrial experiences. So, whenever I've tried to connect with them uh through meditation or something like that, it always is like we're meet, they're lowering their vibration and I have to raise mine. So we like meet in the middle, but that's like the only way that it really works. But with, you know, if you're working psychedelics or something like that, it raises your vibration already. So you're able to kind of meet them where they are.

I love what you said about the how, you know, using the submarine parable or analogy to describe the dimensions, them coming into this dimension. And the the way I always like to think about it is when, you know, sewing, you put a needle through one piece of fabric to the next. And I think that's what they're doing. I think they're using us as points to anchor that their dimension to our dimension. And when it comes to someone like you or Tanya or perhaps even myself that are able to take that contact experience the next level from seeing something to maybe something more in depth, maybe having an apotheosis experience, who knows? That you're really becoming a medium and a bridge for merging the worlds. I've said this before, but I like how in Brazil they talk about an Ayahuasca circle as a point of light and they and almost as if they're breaking up the density of this realm by getting all these people together to work with the medicine. So, I love that analogy.

As we come to the end of this, I would love to just know after all the work you've done processing, meditating on all of this, all of your experiences, and especially your work with DMT and psychedelics, what do you think of the experience that you had when you were 8 years old?

There's a lot of things in life um I've experienced that I'm still processing, right? And I know them each individually as truth. I know that what I experienced is true to this reality. I don't necessarily have an answer to all of it, but I know that all of it is connected. And so, I've gone through these phases of trying to process where like um I mean, I've I've gone all over like thinking about that experience when I was eight. I I've I've [snorts] gone through the ideas that, you know, maybe there are genetic hybridization programs going on and maybe my family is, cuz it's my whole family, right? And maybe they're studying generations as evolution goes on and seeing how different tweaks to genetics here and there play on when people reproduce, right? So maybe my family is being studied. Not like I'm special or my family is special. I'm sure this is happening to millions of people, right? But maybe what I experienced is part of that program. Am I being watched? Am I being studied? Am I being observed? And for what reason? Right?

And so the one thing that I've tried to not take for granted is the thing my mom told me when I was eight, to not be afraid, to know that it is a gift. Even if it's scary, even if it's confusing. Um, it's a gift to be able to see truth as something other than what's presented to you. And so um my general consensus is that everything is connected. And um I've been playing a lot I've [clears throat] been playing a lot with this idea of time because you know on psychedelics you're like I can't tell you how many times I've you know eaten mushrooms and and then looked at my phone a few hours later and I text all these people in all caps. Time doesn't exist. [laughter] There is no time in all caps. Send it to 12 people. People from high school I haven't gave her her phone. [laughter]

Right. Right. Like time doesn't exist. And um I want those texts. Right? Well, now please. You're going to be you're going to be asking for them to stop. No, no, no. Bring them on. Yeah. Um I'll be like, I know, right? [laughter]

Um, so my general consensus of all of it is it gives me hope that not everything is decided or determined. There's not an answer for anything. And it gives me hope because there's still more that we all have to discover, right? Like it gives life meaning and purpose to dive deeper and try to figure out what we are, right? Um, and the more I get into myself individually and do the shadow work and dive down into this, the more I realize that me and who I am is just one part of a whole, right? And um I think it's uh it's made me above all else when I lose hope or when I lose inspiration or when I get depressed or frustrated, it's almost like um this underlying sense of uh wonder still that if everything in this physical reality goes to [ __ ] and if all of your plans fail, you're always going to have the wild west of discovery, the wild west of consciousness. And it gives me something to [ __ ] live for, if that makes sense, you know? And um even with my son Atheus, it gives me hope knowing that like, you know, I can tell him like, "Baby, take the work that I've done and that we've done and run with it. Run with it. You have a a starting point now. You're starting above the rest. Take this information and see how far you could go." You know, astral project. [ __ ] figure out how to remote view. I can't do it. Maybe you can, though, right? And if anything, I think all of this crazy [ __ ] you know, and and all of us who believe the crazy [ __ ] um, I think we're the ones that are going to stay inspired to make the most out of this reality because this reality is so much more multifaceted than most people give it credit for, you know.

And I think with the believing is when you experience something. It's not a belief anymore. It's a knowing. It's a knowing. Yeah. It's true gnosis. It's knowing through experience. And it's kind of like our uh mediumship teacher says if I was like, "Cody, your hair's green." He wouldn't. He'd be like, "No, it's not." But because he knows for a fact that it's not green. It's just when you know something, there's no matter what people say, they can't take it away from you because you know, you've experienced it and that's it. You just know yourself. Yeah. But that's why it's like, you know, how do you explain to someone that's never done acid what it's like to do acid? Yeah. You can't. There's no way you can. They just have to experience it. And then when they come out it out of it, they're like, "Oh." [laughter] Or someone that's never seen a ghost that doesn't believe in ghosts. You know what I mean? And then all of a sudden you see a ghost and you're like, "Holy [ __ ] millions of people were telling the truth for all of these years." You know what I mean?

It's like there's something though also with like listening to each other. We don't listen to each other enough. And when you love your brother and sister or you know open yourself to people, you actually I do think the you kind of merge with them. There's a limbic resonance that happens and you actually open yourself up to those experiences. I think it's contagious. I think that it's a vibration and and I do believe in the phenomenon of resonance and I believe that if you open yourself to it like even if like people if they say well I've never had that experience and you're saying but I'm interested I'm curious and I'm not afraid these people make me feel like there's nothing to be afraid like there's more to be gained than there is to be afraid of all you got to do is ask. All you got to do is say I'm open. Willing. It's just like that. Yeah. It's just a full turn of the dial.

But I think what it what it is is it the illusion of separation in my ideal mindset. I mean, I think people are polarizing, but the people that realize separation is just an illusion are raising their children differently. Like, you know, I'm raising my kid and I'm sure you guys when you have kids, you're going to raise your kids to know that there is no separation and and to do unto others as you know, as you want done unto you and and all of that thing. and you treat everyone with kindness and with understanding. And I think people are are afraid of what they don't know. I think people are afraid of what they don't understand. And I think people are afraid of ideas that question their own identity. People are afraid of not having an identity. So they cling to their beliefs because it's their security blanket and they're not willing to change them. And you know what I mean? And so I think moving forward the most important thing to teach each other in the next generations is that you know every co every action has a reaction and that there's no good or bad. Everything is about intention and you should have the best intentions. Not for you but for everyone cuz we are we are all one. You know call it whatever you want to call it. Label it whatever you want to label it. Name it whatever you want to name it. Those are all just madeup [ __ ] things too. It is what it is. you know, we're we're all connected. And I think the more people that realize it, um, the better it's going to be for our society as a whole because we're going to start treating each other with understanding and empathy and kindness and supporting one another. And it's only then we can collectively raise our vibration for the greater good.

Absolutely. Wow. Yeah. Amen to that. Ryan. Thank you so much for sharing everything with us and our audience. You're incredible. Yeah. Honest, vulnerable. You're an amazing speaker, too. Amazing speaker. Like to It's one thing to have an experience, another thing to have a courage to speak the experience, another thing to be articulate. Yeah. When we see someone who's I don't know and I can't say for sure and I don't, but this is what I saw. This is what I felt. This is the truth. It doesn't make sense, but this is the [laughter] truth. Yeah, I don't know if it's real, but it really happened and this is how it changed me. Like this is the spirit of the show. Like you whenever you want to talk about your experiences, your development, you always have a seat here. You always can come back. We're here to support you and and thank you. Like, thank you.

No, thank you guys. I I've um I told you guys earlier I've done a few podcasts and it's mostly tattoo related and and things like that. And I've I've devoted my life to tattooing. I love the tattoo industry. Um, not for the glamour of it, but for the impact it leaves on people's lives. Tattooing is a sacred experience. It, you know, um, but that being said, this is um, conversations like this to me are the most meaningful because everyone here is going to leave this room today with with food for thought, with something to think about, right? and and everybody that's watching um is going to relate it to maybe their own experience or or make them interested in something and and that's how it spreads and it is contagious and so I love that you guys had me. I am so honored. This was awesome. Um so thank you so much. Yeah.

You know what I have to say? Your work with tattooing, it is very shamanic. And you know, you're initiating people through the gateway of fear, of pain and discomfort. And also to helping them not forget. You know, everyone gets a tattoo for a reason. It's tied to something. And you know, it's the forgetting. It's this amnesia. But not forget. Remember, whether it's play or something you loved or someone you loved or remember. It's sacred. It's sacred. It's sacred work. There's no coincidences. No coincidences.

All right, sister. We love you. Thank you. We love you guys. Thank you so much. Can you please Can you please let everyone know where they can find you and follow you if they want to know more? I don't have Facebook. I don't have TikTok. I don't know what any of the other ones are. I am on Instagram. Uh Ryan Ashley Malarkey. You have to put every letter in because I'm shadowbanned. [laughter] Why'd you get shadowbanned? I said too much. Why'd you get shadowed? Because I do because I [ __ ] post these really awesome tattoos on these girls whole chest neck and they have pasties on and that's considered nudity and not art. How dare you? Okay. How dare you? If I if I have one more offense, Instagram's like, "We'll delete you right off the There are children on the internet. Have you no heart? Have you no consideration, ma'am?" [laughter] Well, they're going to learn today. All right, children. Gather around. Women have nipples. nipples. God, get over it. And we we And the dark dirty part is shameful. It must be hidden at all times. I could go on a whole another nipple rant. You want to go? No. Yeah, give us a rant. How much time do we have? Always best. Give me a little nipple rant. [ __ ] 30 seconds. Go ahead. 45 seconds. Ah, take your time. Just I love a good nipple rant. I don't understand why women's nipples are censored because women's nipples are the only nipples that actually have an important biological function since the dawn of man. And I didn't get pissed about this until I was breastfeeding my son. And people would get offended or give me looks for breastfeeding in public. And I'm like, you want me to leave this table and go sit in the public restroom with my infant and feed my child in the toilet? That would make you more comfortable than me sitting with my family and feeding my kid. So, the censorship on on women's nipples is beyond like I posted videos of breastfeeding and everything cuz I was like, "Fuck you, [ __ ] This is the most basic primal form of love of nurturing your beautiful child and we're forced into believing we have to go do it in a in a bathroom stall. Facts. That's what our body ridiculous facts. That's ridiculous. Why do my nipples get to be free in the wild taxfree? I have to censor myself because because you're uncomfortable. That's [ __ ] I I mean it's just rude and I just think you need to you know it makes me feel a certain way and I think that's your fault. That's crazy. [laughter] But I have to look at your useless nipples. What are your nipples doing? They're not useless. [ __ ] your nipples. When it's cold, they let everyone know it's cold. Everyone, it's cold in the room. My nipples are hard. [laughter] I'm completely kidding. It's completely [ __ ] up. And I think it's actually like a very core misalignment. And I actually think it would have more power if healing that would do more than we can even comprehend. I think it's a very very core distortion that we experience the ripple effect of through many other things. Ripple of the nipple. The ripple of a nipple. Free the nips. You hear that, children? Free the nips. Free the nips. And also another way that they keep mothers down. Just yo, it's so [ __ ] up.

I've been [ __ ] rabbit holeing on the gospel of Mary as of late. We got to do another one of these. The gospel of Mary. Let's go. We can talk all about this. It's so much time. We're 9 minutes past. Oh, whatever. I forgot about We got to go. We'll do a sequel. Round two. Round two. Whatever you'd like. All right, gang. [laughter] [ __ ] Okay. Jesus. All right. To the nipple. Just Just nip, please. Can we do a whole episode on nipples? All right, gang. [laughter] You know what to do. You want to support us, you would like to support, we hold acid for what what's her name again? Squares. Squares. Whatever. Who cares? Send this to your mother. Like, subscribe, rate, comment, smash the notification button. Just do all the things. It helps us out, you know, Uh, I don't know what this voice is. It's all this nipple talk. It's got me twisted. [laughter] But we love you all. Take care of each other. And until next time, bye-bye now. Bye. [music] [music]