Transcription
What's good, people? Welcome back to the Onyx Report. Black mask news for the day. Like, share, subscribe, join, donate, hit the hype, support the show so we can continue to bring you these independent blackmail thoughts. Yeah.
So, today we're talking about from ridiculed to relevant. Why black men's warnings are being taken seriously. Now, what that really means is that the things that I've been hearing black men say online for the last close to a decade, it's been about a decade. The things I've been hearing black men say, I'm starting to hear coming from others. And it's, it's kind of like one or two things that I'm starting to hear more and more of. I'm hearing some groups starting to advocate for what we've been talking about in ways that I didn't expect. Uh, I'm hearing some seek to protect us in ways that I didn't expect. I'm hearing the things we've been talking about coming from areas I didn't expect. And, you know, I think ultimately, uh, it's a good thing. It's a confirmation for many of us that what we've been saying is, uh, is real.
Now, I'm going to pull out a few examples just to kind of give you a sense of where I'm coming from with this, as I usually do, but I think it's, uh, it's for those who have been putting in the work for this many years, to really figure out where it is that black men are, to really make sense of the things we've experienced, to make sense of how we've been treated and perceived. All of this is, is really kind of good news in a way. But let's, uh, let's see what I'm talking about here.
Now, this first thing, now I can say with all of them, well, with most of them, I don't know if they're skits or not, but I will say even if they are skits, they're introducing something into the public space, into the public consciousness, if you will, that may not have been there before, you know what I mean, amongst a number of people. But this is a conversation that this woman has in what seems to be a prison. I don't know the context for this, but whether it's staged or real, this conversation is getting out. And you're starting to see black men from all kinds of positions articulating themselves and advocating for themselves in ways that I don't know if I ever thought I'd see in my lifetime. I really don't know. I really don't know. But let's check it out.
So this is, uh, Nella Rose shares what women bring to the table in return for maintenance.
>> I feel like men should pay 100% of a girl's maintenance.
>> Okay, cool. So you feel that we should pay 100%.
>> Yes.
>> What do we get in return for that? What's the equivalent? Wait, wait. What's the equivalent to the 100% that I'm getting? Giving you all my bread. What's the equivalent I'm getting?
>> Do you know what's so crazy? Um, when you lot are going down there, you expect it to be hairless. You understand? When you are all asking for back scratches, you're expecting acrylics. When you're stepping out and you're going to be around your friends, you expect your girl to be 10/10, but you don't want to contribute.
>> You never said I never said, that's what I'm saying. You're comparing me with every. I never said you can't contribute. I said, what's the equivalent of I'm giving you 100% of everything.
>> You get pity. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So,
>> Now that's interesting, right? So, she says what a lot of women won't say out loud, that in exchange for your resources, you get [ __ ]. But I think the great Patrice O'Neal said it best, right? If we got, if you're giving us [ __ ], you got dick. Crash as it may be, the reality was, the reality is fair exchange is no robbery. You got sex. You know what I mean? You gave me yours, I gave you yours. And for a lot of brothers, being skilled in bed has been an aesthetic that's been demanded of us since damn near childhood for many of us. We had to learn to impress women in bed before it was legal for us to be even having sex, particularly with women who were of legal age when we weren't. There was an expectation, especially in the, I would say from the 60s through the 80s. I used to hear about this in the music, but it was expected that black men knew how to please. And that went along with a long history going back to slavery of black men being well-endowed and skilled in those areas. And there, there, there hit a point where it became an expectation even within the black community. So when she says, you get [ __ ], it's a very realistic argument for Patrice O'Neal to say, "Well, you got dick. Fair exchange is no robbery." But why does that mean I have to pay all your expensive expenses for something that I could get very easily, which he's going to break down?
>> Nasty.
>> 100%.
>> [ __ ]
>> [ __ ]
>> I could go pay that to a woman in Thailand.
>> HE NEEDS A RUFFLE.
>> I'M SO YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE TOO LONG AND IT'S OKAY.
>> YOU CAN'T SAY, oh, maintenance, the equivalent of that is [ __ ]. Cuz then that's the same as a prostitute. No.
>> As a man. Yeah. You should want to look after your %. Why is everything just tat nowadays?
>> WHY IS IT? IF I'M PAYING FOR YOUR NAILS, THEN YOU GOT TO PAY FOR MY TRIM. IF I'M PAYING FOR YOUR HAIR, THEN YOU GOT TO PAY FOR MY PETROL. BEAT YOUR ASS.
>> YOU AIN'T GOT TO PAY FOR THAT. Make me take. What does a woman bring to the table then? If I'm giving you, if I'm making sure you look sweet, you think giving me [ __ ] is enough?
>> So what more do you want? I think in your head, you think men are just men. There's no more feelings than nothing. Behind all the exterior, you know, there's a man that wants to be loved and wants more than just puss.
Now, that's interesting. Now, you guys may some of you may know more about this than I do. I've never, I don't know who Nella Rose is. I don't know who any of these people are. But I know this again. Even if it was staged, the imagery is still something. So what do we have here? We have men in prison who are advocating for their own humanity. They're actually talking about not wanting to be objectified, even sexually, by black women. This is, this is unprecedented, whether it's real or staged. The imagery is still unprecedented because who are black male prisoners in, so in, in society? Who are they to demand to be treated like human beings? How dare they? You get nothing. Or at least that's what society tells you. You're not worth anything. You're not supposed to get anything. Who are you to demand to be treated like a human being? And that's what I hear these brothers doing. And they're cheering for him. That's the thing that I find interesting about it. They're cheering for him to make this point that black, that these men are human and they deserve something more than just to pay for sex, which he says, "I can get anywhere. I can get it off the block." You know what I mean?
So, when I saw this, I was really quite blown away because I'm thinking, man, these are brothers who are supposed to be in prison, may be in prison. Looks to me like they are, you know, doesn't look like AI to me. But either way, it's still to me somewhat inspiring to see men who, by all intents and purposes, should have, you know, at least as far as society's concerned, very little hope, very little direction, very little humanity left. You know what I mean? Men, black men in prison are damn near considered thrown away. And yet these men are standing here advocating for their own humanity, questioning the nature of social expectation in regard to relationships and demanding to be treated equitably, questioning what their resources actually secure them. It shouldn't have to be a strictly, uh, you know, uh, reciprocal relationship in the sense that, uh, you know, we monitor what each person is giving. That should be an organic thing. But that's not the, that's not the era we live in. We live in an era where women will take advantage of you and they will use the law to make sure they do so effectively. You know, so in that kind of era, you have to demand that there's clarity on what the exchange is really about. And what we've heard from women far too often is that there really is no clarification. There's really, there's really nothing in exchange other than you get to have her on your arm and as she said, she looks good, which is supposed to make you look good in a social setting, and you get sex. But the thing about it is, those things work when that's the place, that's where you are in your life, right? If, if I'm still at that stage where I need people to look at me and see me a certain way with this woman on my arm, you know what I mean? That, then yeah, I guess that's, if that's what you value, then that may mean something to you. But that's not the only stage there is. When a man has been through too much [ __ ] and reaches a point where he just stops giving a damn about far too much, you'd be surprised what he no longer cares about. Not everybody needs a woman with a landing strip or no hair down there at all. Not everybody's looking for a woman with acrylics to scratch it back up. All of these things she's talking about, you know, grown ass men who've been through hell and back, you'd be surprised what they stop caring about and what they start caring about. And it may be completely different from what you're, you're imagining as a woman, you know, what men are supposed to care about. The exchange becomes something else when the currency by either group shifts. And these men are shifting the currency. The currency is no longer [ __ ]. So if you don't figure out what the new currency is, you'll find that everything you're bargaining with no longer has weight. You know what I mean? And that happens in the, you know, in the, in the economy in and of itself. If, if, if, if, you know, paperback money died tomorrow and there was a new currency, you can walk into the store with $3,000 in your, in your hand and hand it to somebody for some eggs and it really wouldn't matter. If the currency is dead, it's dead. And you better learn what the new currency is quick if you want to be able to function in the economy. And I hate to reduce human relationships to that, but the reality of it is, it's already happened. And men have been catching up for years. Women were the ones that started to demand material gain for their presence. They started to tell people, "You need to make this much to date me. You need to own this. You need to have this." That was not something men initiated. So the adaptation that you're starting to see with men, the shift that was symbolized by the rise of Kevin Samuels is what's on the table now. And that's a response to years of feminism. It's a response. So all the things women don't like to hear from men these days, it's only a product of what they created. They created the context for men to respond by adapting to what they've created. So, you've monetized the relationship. Okay. Well, now you got to deal with men's contribution to the exchange, the contributions to what exactly the currency is. You don't get to dictate it. You don't get to dictate it. You can shift your perspective. You can demand something different from others in the same market, but you also have to deal with the fact that they may switch gears on you, too. And often in relation and in response to what you've initiated.
But let's check the next one out. So, this one's a little different. Frankly, I found this one to be somewhere between sad and extremely pathetic. But check this out.
>> Would you date black girls?
>> Absolutely not.
>> Why?
>> Cuz they're disgusting.
>> Really?
>> Yeah.
>> Why? They sleep with everybody else.
>> Yeah, you guys are pretty gross.
>> But y'all beautiful.
>> Yeah. Thanks. I know. God bless y'all with pretty hair,
>> pretty eyes.
>> I know. Thank you.
>> I know.
>> Look at Bill.
>> All right, it stops there. Y'all know how these videos are online. I think the editing skills across the board on social media are just ridiculous. But whether this is a skit or whether this is real, I just found it terribly sad and extremely pathetic. Because here's the thing. When it comes to the adoration of whiteness, you know, especially in regard to, uh, uh, sexual grounds, this is something that we've, we've heard more attributed to men, right? The conversation in the black community as far as interraciality is concerned has always been fixated on men chasing white women, black men chasing white women. When the conversation is raised about black women chasing white men, it's quickly swept under the rug and dismissed as if it doesn't happen. It doesn't exist. And they're happy with that. This is why when you see, you know, white black women get with white men, there's a kind of a low-key celebration going on. An achievement has been made. When a black man gets with a white woman, it's just, it's typical. It's a problem. He hates himself, you know. But if you listen to what she said, and I'll play it again because it's so short, it needs to be. Does it sound like she loves herself? Check it.
>> Would you date black girls?
>> Absolutely not. Why?
>> Cuz they're disgusting.
>> Really?
>> Yeah.
>> Why they sleep with everybody in?
>> Yeah, you guys are pretty gross.
>> But y'all beautiful.
>> Yeah, thanks. I know.
>> God bless y'all with pretty hair,
>> pretty eyes.
>> I know. Thank you.
>> I know.
>> Look at Bill G.
Yeah, that's what we dealing with. And it doesn't matter to me again if this is a skit or if it's real. The fact that you would record this, right? Maybe she's drunk. I have no idea. But, you know, that doesn't invalidate what she's saying as far as whether or not she's sincere. Sometimes alcohol reveals what it is you feel and you want to say, but you wouldn't say under normal circumstances. But this was pathetic, right? And it highlights all the things that black men are told don't happen. Cuz again, the only conversation in the black community worth having about interracial relationships is what black men seem to do with other groups of women. But we low-key ignore black women with white men unless it's black women celebrating that a black woman has gotten with a white man. Otherwise, it's not really discussed. And we definitely don't talk about now, this, you know, this is white supremacy right here. We don't talk about that with black women. And we see it all the time. I mean, I don't know how many women you can see, black women you can see with blonde wigs on, but we're still not allowed to have this conversation without, without severe blowback, right? We still see in 2026 perms, not perms, we're seeing wigs and weaves of straight hair, blonde hair, red hair all across the board, contact lenses, now they've branched off into surgeries, you know, and it, and, and this conversation still can't be had. Anytime the conversation of of of wigs and weaves pops up, there's still, well, we got to look good for work and work doesn't like natural hair. And these are all the excuses being made to justify black women attempting to look or carry on the, the, the aesthetics of white folk, right? But as long as it's black men, you know, getting with white women, then that's all that matters. That's, that's the discussion to be had. But you don't say nothing else to mama. You don't criticize mama. She can do whatever she wants, even if she's doing the very thing she accuses black men of doing. So, I just found this whole segment right here real sad. But again, it speaks to the whole question of, you know, from ridiculed to relevant, why black men's warnings are being taken seriously. This, this is something black men have been talking about for some years now, especially on social media. The extent to which there's a double standard when it comes to interracial relationships in the black community, and black women are above critique no matter what they do. But this woman, what she says here gets at the heart of what I've known black women to say and feel about themselves without ever saying it in the public sphere. This gets to the heart of that and it exposes it like a raw nerve. So you can't just dismiss this anymore. This is again something black men have been saying that's been downplayed. But the things we're saying and we've been saying are now coming to light in so many different contexts, right? In so many different ways. We're still seeing it, right?
This one I found interesting. Um, not something I think I'd hear from this person, but let's check it.
>> Do you believe there is a gender war?
>> A gender war?
>> Yeah.
>> Absolutely. Feminism is killing this country.
>> Can you be more specific?
>> Feminism has taught us to hate men and to fear men because capital profits off of my fear as a woman. If I'm afraid of men, they can make a profit off of that. There's a gender war because men are the underdogs right now. Men are the ones being told, "You're feared. You're wrong. Everything you do is wrong. Go make money. Don't show emotion. BBP." Women are making a rise to the top. We've over feminized so much and included women so much, which is great, but we don't have to tear men down to include women.
>> So why is there so much talk about male privilege?
>> Because for a long time there was male privilege, and now the the script is flipped. Now women are the ones with privilege, but no one's ready to hear that.
>> But why are we still talking about male privilege?
>> Because no one's ready for it. We're not ready to make that change. We're seeing more women in films, more women in power. The amount of jobs that I have seen that say women only is ridiculous. In an effort to hire more women and get them hired and include them, we've excluded men.
That's interesting. I never thought I'd see, you know, butch-looking white women talking about this. But these are the same talking points that I've heard men talking about for the last seven or eight years and, and often only amongst circles of men because this was something women couldn't fathom. You know, it wasn't until women, women started coming into male social media spaces during COVID, that's when we really started to see it, especially in the black manosphere. We started to see black women moving into these discussions. They, they were not invited at that point. Men were not holding these discussions to bring women in and argue with them or try to make money off it. Women invaded the spaces. So, the last thing I would imagine was to fast forward and see a Caucasian butch-looking woman get up here and give you the same talking points that we've heard in both the white and the black manosphere about, you know, the roles men and women have in society, the how privilege relates to them, what they experience. I didn't expect to hear any of that. And lately, I've been hearing a lot of it. I've been hearing a lot of it. The economy has shifted. Women are finding themselves in a vulnerable position, you know, and as BGS has always talked about, the only thing that was going to shift women's behavior was the environment. Well, guess what? The environment has shifted. The environment has changed and it's now starting to press them. So whether it's the diminishment of SNAP, uh, policy, whether it's the loss of federal jobs, whether it's the rise of feminization, or more to the point, the rise of the observation and critique of feminization, we're starting to see women leading the charge. Cuz again, if you look at feminization, that's Helen Andrews' work. We were start, I was talking about this in the last year. We started seeing conservative white women talking about feminization and how feminism has gone too far. We even started to see some liberal white women who had sons and they were starting to notice how their sons were being treated not only by women but within the school system, when in the working market, in terms of employment. These women started to observe how far their feminism has gotten in regard to their own sons and what opportunities were no longer available, which in turn impacted, you know, the capacity for other women to marry and have children. They're starting to, the smartest of them are starting to really see this impact institutionally. It hasn't fully hit the ground yet, but it is, it's got a lot of momentum and it's only just now that you're seeing women that are starting to observe this and articulate it publicly. Right? So, you know, I'm not suggesting that women like this are right about everything. I'm just noting, I'm noting, I'm observing the conversation and the extent to which I'm hearing the same talking points. This is about as bad as Kendra G, right? And the contradiction therein where she would argue with Kevin Samuels directly, vehemently, and then fast forward five, six years and she sounds almost just like him. She's, she's absorbed and internalized all his talking points and routinely will snap on women who are making demands that make no sense. Even though she's profiting off these exchanges, she's, she's 180 degrees from where she was five or six years ago when she was making the same arguments to Kevin when they would have debates/dialogues, right? These are some of the shifts that we're noting. This has been going on for a little minute, but it's just getting more and more intense, and I'm starting to see more and more women realizing what exactly has been happening.
So, anyway, this is the last one. Now, this one is a little unexpected. It's a little unexpected. Um, it actually comes from Leslie Jones. Now, I'm not a, I'm not a big fan of Leslie Jones. She's made me laugh a couple of times here and there. Uh, I can't say I'm a huge fan of her work, and I definitely don't like a lot of what I've heard from her, um, outside of her performances, but this one had a little something to it. She tells a story here from when she was a girl. And there's something that happens in the story that I think is interesting. Not only is it interesting in and of itself, but it's interesting in terms of the fact that she's talking about it here, which I think will have a bit of an impact amongst the sisterhood. Check this out.
>> I used to get it from teachers. Like, what do you mean? Like, oh man, Mr. Mosley, if you out there, oo mother, I, I honestly hope that your ass in jail. That's what I hope.
>> What did he do?
>> He's just a piece of but he's, he used to literally torture me. He used to torture me.
>> Cuz you allow, cuz you allowed or
>> I was just different from everybody else and maybe I was bad or whatever, but like the stuff he would do to me is like, you don't do that to a kid. You know what I'm saying? So, and I would tell my dad, I never told my dad. The day that he made my nose bleed cuz I was so upset. I was so upset. He, I, my hair for some reason, I couldn't do anything to my hair. My hair started. So, my mom hadn't started pressing my hair and all of that. And I had this hat on and I came in with the hat and this, and he was like, "You got to take the hat off." And I was like, "Please don't make me take my hat off cuz it looks really bad." He was like, "I don't care. Take your hat off." And I took my hat off and everybody started laughing. He started laughing.
>> And my, I put my head down and then when I had pulled up, my nose was bleeding because I was so. And my friend was, my friend was sitting by me. I remember this, Candace. She was like, "That's not funny." She was mad. So I went to the bathroom and she came to the bathroom with me and, you know, just clean up the blood or whatever. And I went back to get my books and he was like, "Come here." He was like, "I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have did that." And I just was like, "You always do that." And I didn't tell my dad.
>> Why?
>> Because my dad would have killed that. My dad. See, now that is what gave me pause and made me want to talk a little bit about this video. There is an, a very old practice and I've even read about it. I can't remember the source now, but I remember even when I was in graduate school, I read about it even in ancient Egypt where they talked about woman being protector of man's, uh, not man, men on physical terms, but in terms of man's spirit, his well-being, his inner well-being. And this is a practice that I saw especially with my grandmother's generation. But the idea was that women became very concerned about what they shared with men because they knew that there would be a consequence, you know, for the men they loved. So if they, if the situation wasn't, you know, if they could endure it, if they could survive whatever it is that happened, they would often not tell their men because they knew their men would either go to jail or die over what was going on. So their, the protection that they provided for those men was to not tell them. You know, a lot of people, we think about Maya Angelou when she was a young girl and apparently she was sexually violated by a grown man and the men in the community made him disappear, right? And the moment she found out that her word, you know, caused somebody to, you know, to lose their lives, she didn't speak for years apparently, right? She was traumatized by this, which is ironic because right now you hear women, black women complaining that men don't protect them. And the truth is, we never stopped. Black men have still been protecting black women for the longest. We just don't get credit for it. But the reality is, you know, when you get back to the Maya Angelou dynamic, it was that protection that shocked her, you know, that her word could have that much power, right? But the other dimension to that, the other side to that idea is not just that your word has that much power. Your silence can protect lives. Now, I talk a lot about pit-bulling, right? Where black women will sic a black man on somebody, most particularly another black man. But they can, it doesn't have to be another black man. They can sic a black man on somebody. You know, I've heard numerous cases about women having arguments in the, in the fast food drive-thru lane and calling their brothers and their boyfriends and their husbands to come up there and beat up people working at the restaurant. And there's been, there's been so many cases like that over the years and I've reported on a wide number of them. But the issue though, is that there are plenty of women that used to not tell their boyfriends, husbands, brothers, whomever, fathers about those incidents because they worried about what would happen to those men. They knew that those men would sacrifice their lives to protect the women they loved. So they took responsibility and they only shared what was vital. If it was truly something trivial, truly something that could pass, there used to be a period where black women's protection of black men would would come about the way Leslie is describing her protection of her father because she knew her father would come up there and hurt somebody, most particularly her teacher. She knew he would go to jail. She knew it could get worse than that. So, she protected him. That's not something I've heard in quite a while. To notice, you know, I think she might be a little older than me. She might be around my age. I'm 51. But my point is, it's coming from a 50-plus-year-old woman that you're hearing this story and she's talking about it when she was a girl. When's the last time you heard about a woman protecting the men in her life? I'm not saying it doesn't happen at all, but it is not a feature of black women's culture the way it used to be.
I'm going to let her continue with the story. The whole story isn't about just protecting her father. But it's an element of it that I thought was important to bring up because you don't hear it often. It's something that the older generation of women used to do. But it nonetheless speaks to something that many black men have called for. If you're going to, you know, you know, use my willingness to protect you, do so responsibly. And the whole reason pit-bulling exists as a concept is because we're talking about women who are abusing that trust from black men. So in as much as black men are not going to necessarily stop protecting the black women they love, there is a call for women to take responsibility on how they use those resources that men are extending. You got material resources and then you have energetic resources, but you also have protective resources. And these are all things men provide and are expected to provide in relationships. Are you a steward of, you know, the resources that a man extends to you? Are you somebody who's going to be responsible for caring for him? Knowing full well, caring for him might mean that you don't call him in a given situation. Is it worth him going to jail for life because you didn't like the way somebody said something to you in the drive-through lane or that they didn't give you your fries fast enough or they snapped at you? Is it worth someone going to jail or losing their lives over? To too many young women, none of that matters. But for a period of time, this has been a feature in black women's culture.
I'm going to let her continue.
>> I would have came up there and dog-stomped him because nobody played about my, about his daughter. Like he never knew none of the stuff. I would tell my mom some stuff, but she, I never told them, you know. But, uh, I do remember the last day of school, this mother gave me a D. Damn. I don't know why I'm telling this out loud. I don't think I ever told the story out loud. He gave me a D. And I went back and I said, "Why you give me a D? Like I did everything. I tried to do everything. You always [ __ ] with me." And he was like, "I gave you a D because you, you deserve a D." I was like, "Oh, big-nosed motherfucker." And I walked out and he was like, "No, no, we going to the principal's office." He took me to the principal's office. And he was like, "Yeah, she called me a [ __ ]. She can't. She needs to get three licks." Because that's when they used to get, um, you know, the three licks to like with the paddle. Used to get a paddle. Oh yeah, I'm old. They used to paddle the kids. So he was like, "You can call your mom or you can get these three licks." I was like, "Call my daddy." I said, "You call my daddy." And I said, "And I'mma tell my daddy that you made my fucking nose bleed because you was fucked up to me." I said, "SO YOU CALL MY DADDY. CALL MY DADDY." AND everybody knew my dad.
Now, notice, she didn't call her dad. She told them to call her dad. And she knew that they wouldn't do it. But she didn't call her father. See, she's still protecting him even in the midst of all that rage. And we know Leslie is not the calmest person in the world. But that used to be the demeanor of a lot of women. They saw their men as a valued resource to a greater extent than now. I mean, we could talk about the ways, you know, women have objectified black men in the community for generations, but I think it's just, it's snowballed to a very unreasonable degree. Right. But anyway, oh, come on. There my dad's like 6'7", sergeant in the army.
>> Wow.
>> So he was like, "No, no, it was the last day of school." He was like, "No, no, we ain't got to do that. This is the last day of school."
>> Excuse Mr. Mosley, if you still, last day of school. We, we good.
>> And I went out and I remember Candace was like, "What happened?" I was like, "I said I was going to call my daddy." She was like, "Oh, I know that mother."
>> I love that story.
Now, something to keep in mind. I'm glad she mentioned his size because this is something mothers will do for sons and husbands and wives. You know this, or at least traditionally have done, especially if these sons were imposing, physically imposing, right? If he's 6'9", if he's 300-plus pounds, whether it's muscle or fat, it don't matter. When it comes to intimidating people or people being afraid for their lives, a big black man, in shape or not, is terrifying. Right? But what that means though, and we understand this historically, the more a black man, you know, uh, elicits terror in others, particularly white folk, the more the loss of his life becomes a, a prospect. It becomes a possibility, I should say, right? And so again, that's why you would have mothers be careful about what they told their sons, their husbands, their, their brothers, their fathers. They became very careful because they knew that those men could lose their lives, right? And the more physically imposing they were, the more of a threat of loss of life, right? Because the police could say, "I was, I was scared for my life. I was scared for my safety." Hell, anybody carrying a gun could say that and use it as a justification to take a black man's life. So that in and of itself speaks to something that black men are really kind of low-key calling for. You know, it's not an unwillingness, right? If you got, you got black men here who in the comment section who are fathers of daughters, it's not an unwillingness to help and protect their daughters or their wives or their girlfriends or, you know, or their sisters or their mothers for that matter. It's not that black men are unwilling. It's that black men are saying, "Do not take those resources for granted. Do not have me out there risking my life over something arbitrary. Take responsibility." What is it we say? What does Spider-Man say? With great power comes great responsibility. Well, you got a 300-plus-pound black man who's willing to risk his life for you. That's a lot of power. You should have a lot of responsibility about how you handle that. And if you demonstrate, and this is more of a message to my brothers, if she demonstrates that she does not possess the wisdom, she does not possess the responsibility to you and your life, you may have to withdraw that. You may have to find other ways to protect her that she doesn't fully understand, but they don't feed her ego.
I'm gonna go back to Patrice O'Neal because I, I remember he told a story about walking in the mall, I believe. And some of y'all are, are, uh, Patrice O'Neal fans. So, you can fill this story in. Maybe even provide a link to it if you know where it is. But he talked about walking in the mall with his girl and she got in some guy's face and started getting animated, just the way Leslie was just a second ago on the screen. She started getting animated because she was standing next to Patrice, who was a physically imposing dude, right? Patrice's response was to just walk away in the midst of her performance, right, with this guy in the middle of the mall. He just walked away. Now, this is critically important in terms of what black men can do about pit-bulling. You can withdraw your resources, right? Most particularly your protective resources. If you find that it's being abused, you can walk away. And this forces her to go back to her original programming of, "I can only go so far with a strange man acting a fool because there's no guarantee I'm not going to get hurt." But as long as she knows she has you in your back pocket, some women are willing to sacrifice your life for her ego. And so what Patrice did is he pulled the rug from under her feet. He just walked away. And he wasn't afraid. The guy didn't intimidate him. He was offended that she was willing to sacrifice his well-being for her ego. There was nothing serious going on to where any of that needed to happen. Now, we know today he'd be called sassy. He'd be called gay. He'd be called, you know, a coward. All kinds of different derogatory terms for not doing so. But he didn't care. He was teaching her a lesson. He's not saying he's not willing to protect her, but she has to be a steward of those resources that he's extending. She has to be, you know, she has to be, uh, or I should say a steward with a D. Um, she has to be a steward of that. She has to be responsible. She has to be a caretaker of the resources that he's extending to her. And to the extent that she's unwilling to be that, he's going to withdraw. And I think this is important. I think this is something that black men especially should be well aware of because I don't know how many of us really are, especially if we've been raised in single-parent households where our mothers taught us that this is what we were supposed to do. We're supposed to be pit bulls. We're supposed to operate you. When she says, you know, when she sics you on somebody, you're supposed to go bite them. No, you are, if you are a man, that means you measure the situation and you decide whether or not to extend your resources. See, popular society has this idea that the only time you talk about what a man is when you're talking about some kind of stereotypical notion of dominating others or whatever [ __ ] is popular at the time. No, part of being a man is judgment. Applying wisdom in the form of judgment, often on a case-by-case situation. Is this situation worthy of my resources? And an alternative, if the situation isn't, just like with Patrice, is that you may have to teach her a lesson. Now, you can do that by pulling the rug from under her feet and walking away, or you could do it with a conversation. It all depends on what you understand she's going to, she's going to need to really grasp the lesson. But the point is, she needs to understand that your resources are not a blind resource for her. She doesn't get to just flick a switch and make things happen. That's not how that goes. That's how dogs are. That's not how men are. Men think. See, that's another characteristic of manhood that that the mainstream society doesn't want to talk about. Thinking, thought, analysis, reflection, strategy. Not just for the opposition, but sometimes for the people you ride with. You know what I mean? Sometimes for the people you ride with, if you hanging with your boys, especially if y'all are young, you out there and you got a boy that's just rah-rah causing trouble everywhere you go, looking for a fight, looking for even gunplay and getting bolstered by the fact that he's with his boys. If y'all don't believe in what he's doing, you might have to check him. You might have to walk away. It all depends. But men by their nature think. They judge. They apply scrutiny, analysis, strategy, reflection. Wisdom comes into play. I am not an instrument for you to operate blindly. I come with qualifications. Meaning, if you want my resources and you expect me to operate on your behalf, if that's the nature of the agreement we have, whether you are my child or my woman, if you don't apply thought, I will. And I may withdraw my resources because you've proven unworthy of them. That's the reality. You may have proven unworthy of them. And I want more men to think about that because these are the qualities of manhood that mainstream society doesn't talk about. They call them tox, they call men toxic and everything else, but they don't actually think about the, the granular, you know, issues in regard to the concepts that manhood are tied to that aren't popularly talked about, you know, in, on social media. One of the main qualities men are known for is thought, reflection, analysis. Apply it. Do not let people use you. And let's get back to making sure the women in our lives, whoever they may be, understand the value of being good stewards of our resources. And if they can't be, withdrawing those resources until they learn or until they're replaced, that's up to you. And that's the thing I want you to remember most. It is up to you, not her, not them. You, you have every right to withdraw your resources anytime you see fit. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You know.
So anyway, I'd like to know your thoughts. I'd like to know the stories that relate to some of the things I brought up. I'd like to know, have you had these experiences where you've had to withdraw your resources, especially protective resources, from someone that abused them? All right, highlight me in the comment section. I'll highlight y'all later. Peace.