She Died at 18… What God Did Next Shocked Her

Lannne, you were hit by a truck when you were 18 years old. You left your body and you were being dragged towards hell. So, Lann, tell me more. What happened?

Well, that morning I decided I need to go do some laundry. I was working as a waitress and so I decided that morning I'm going to ride my bike across town and get some exercise. So, um, there was two laundromats and this time I decided I'm going to go across town just a little farther away and get some good exercise. Beautiful day. And uh, so yeah, unexpectedly I'm going through downtown Big Rapids and um Maple and Michigan and it's a college town. Um, and right on the one corner there's like there was a law office and above the law office there was this great big clock that's you know, real notable in our community, you know. But um, as it turns out, I was going through the intersection and um the light just turned yellow, which I had the right-of-way to continue through and suddenly I'm getting clipped. I got hit head-on by a white Bronco that was making a left-hand turn. And he was dodging the light. And uh, just like that, just instantly, suddenly, out of like it was the most unbelievable moment because you're on your way to go to the laundromat and all of a sudden you're you're flying up. You're getting smacked and rolling up on top of the hood and and my life literally was flashing before my eyes. So that I had some reference, you know, at that point, like, oh, this is what it's like. And and uh, everything was slow motion, just really slow motion.

And um, and and he hit the brake and then it got worse because now I flew off the truck and I like smacked the um the the road and um, and I can tell I'm all twisted up, you know, um, and I can't move and I'm like, "Oh no, what am I going to do?" So, my my thought process was, I don't have any insurance. What am I going to do? This is bad. And um, and I'm thinking through it like, oh, you know, like you're thinking it's your fault. You know, it's like, what did I do? And I can't move and I'm twisted. I'm mangled and I can't move. And I know this is bad. And so, I'm really concerned. And um, and then all of a sudden I'm like, "Wow, it is so peaceful. It was just so peaceful." And I grew up out in the sticks. So, you know, I know what peaceful is out in the sticks, but this was something different. This was so peaceful. And I'm like, "What?" And I'm thinking, "Well, that doesn't make sense because I know I'm in the middle of an intersection. I know there's vehicles and they make noise and but this was different. This was just serene. Well, this is odd." And then I saw people like running at me. And as they're running at me, oh goodness, hold on one second. I want to make sure I click this off. Okay. And so as they're running at me, I'm thinking to myself, well, this doesn't seem right. I'm laying down on the ground and it would seem as though that people would be like coming over me instead of like running at me like I'm the same height they are. And I'm like, well, this this doesn't seem right.

And the next thing I know, I am like up by that clock and I'm looking down and I'm seeing myself down below and I'm seeing people like coming around me and huddled around me and I'm like, "Wow, well, this is really cool." Now, my backstory was is I'm 18. I was the party girl and you know like you know it's all about fun and um I'm like, oh my goodness, I can't wait until I can tell my friends about this. Like this is so cool. I'm having one of them out-of-body experiences and um all of a sudden there was a voice that spoke to me said, "Your friends aren't coming with you." And I'm trying to register what what does that mean and it dawns on me I'm not going to be able to go tell my friends about this and the only way they're ever going to know about it is if they came with me and they're not coming with me. And I'm starting to do the math really quick. I'm like, whoa, wait a minute. But see, I have to stop a second because when I'm up there by this clock and I look down and I see my body and I look and I see this clock. Well, this clock is absolutely massive. You don't, you know, when you take a look at the perspective from the street, you know, it's a clock up, you know, up up. But when you're right in the face of the clock, it is absolutely massive. And my arm was like this and I could see through it. I'm like, what? Like that's so cool. Like I can see through my arm. And it was like what? It just. And then I realized something else is that my thinking is exactly the same. I'm looking out of my eyes exactly the same. Every my perception is exactly the same and my voice was exactly the same. However, I wasn't talking out of my mouth. I'm like, "Wow, this is so cool."

So, when this voice spoke to me, I didn't see a person. And when this voice spoke to me and said, "We your friends are coming with you." I'm like, "I'm deducing." I'm like, "Wait a minute. No, no, no, no, no. I'm only 18." Like, I feel like, you know, like I'm making a deal, right? I'm only 18. I can't die yet. I still got to grow up and get married and have children and buy a house and um and it's like, let's make a deal, right? And and then this voice spoke to me again and said, "Louan, even babies die." And it was just like, what? Like this is not this can't be real. Like none of this can be real. This isn't really happening, but I know it's happening, but this can't be happening, you know? And I'm like, "Oh no." Like, "This is getting real, really quick." And then all of a sudden, I felt fingers coming around my arm. And they were these big old nasty long. They look like ET fingers and just wrapping around, just wrapping around my. And I look down. I'm like, you're horrified because you're like, "Oh, that is not a good thing." Like this this the these are not good, right? And you know, these aren't angels. And um, and so then at that point, you know, like my heart's starting to really pound because I'm like going, I don't know what's going on, but I'm not liking this. And and this thing was covered. And I guess you would say it was wearing a cloak. Um, I couldn't see it. All I saw was the hand. And it was neither good nor bad. Meaning it didn't treat me bad. It didn't um, it was just doing its job. And now it's taking me. It's escorting me. And like, whoa, wait. No. Like, you know, I don't know where you're taking me, but like, no. And um, I mean, I it's just all happening so fast now. And it's taking me somewhere. I don't know where it's taking me, but it has complete dominion over me. It has total control. And I'm frantic. I'm scared. I'm absolutely terrified. And of course, what are you going to do? You, you know, if somebody grabs a hold of you, you're going to pull back. You know, you're going to fight. You're going to set yourself free. There wasn't any of that because I couldn't plant my feet anywhere to pull back. And you know, it's like we were floating. And um, there was nothing for me to resist. I couldn't resist. And I'm like, this is getting so real, so quick, so fast. And I'm like, wait, no, wait a minute. I am a good person, you know, like I'm again um, you know, I'm like making a bargain, you know, and but at the same time, I'm hysterical and I'm screaming, "Let go of me. Let go of me." And um, and I'm trying everything I can to fight against it. And the only thing I can liken it to is that, you know, if you had a spoiled little entitled brat that was in a in a candy store and the parents like a year coming with me and, you know, and dragging them out of the store, you know, and the kids having a fit, that's about what it probably would equate to. And um, because I just couldn't have this. This can't be happening. And let go of me.

And then all of a sudden, I just had like this epiphany. And in my in my days when I was doing drugs, you know, you would have deep thoughts about things and you know, whatever. This was never a conscious thought I had ever had before. And it was just like it was just downloaded. It was as though somebody spoke it, but they didn't spoke it. I thought it. And very clearly, if I would have accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, I would be able to keep my free will. And it just started registering. And it's like, but I didn't. I didn't accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. And it just it's realizing that you have succumbed to this based on based on my own choices. This is based on my choices. And if I had made different choices, this wouldn't be happening right now. And um, and then it got more real. I was more terrified than ever because now it's the unknown. I don't know where where is he taking me? Who is this thing? What is this thing? It's not an angel. Clearly, it's a demon. And um, it's just doing its job. It's it's not treating me badly. It's just escorting me. And as terrified as what I was, suddenly we came over and I I don't understand this part. These are some things I just don't understand. And and it's really also very difficult to try to explain things that I can't explain. You know, there's just sometimes there's just no words for it. And you try to gather words to try to uh to form a thought. But this demon, if you will, this cloaked thing, um, who had me by the arm, all of a sudden were coming over like this mountainous region. And I know it's not good. Like clearly I know this is not good. And I know this thing is taking me to hell. I know this. But the imagery of going through like this mountainous region and then down below, I see this very, very, very evil, wicked place. It was very evil, very wicked. And I had no knowledge base about things that are Christianes. Like, you know, I didn't grow up in a Christian home. I didn't know anything about the Bible. You know, I knew nothing about, you know, Sodom and Gomorrah. Um, and it wouldn't be until later that I can say it that it seemed like it was like a Sodom and Gomorrah. It was a very, very evil, wicked, wicked, wicked place. I didn't see people, but what I saw is I saw like this yellow smog. I I flown into LA before and their smog is all yellow and and and this is what it looked like, but it wasn't smog. It was evil. It was just pure evil. And I am so terrified that I'm being taken there. And I'm like, it's now or never. Fight for your life. you know, and I'm I'm screaming, "No, no, I'm a good person." And you know, it's like, you know, you're thinking, "They got this wrong. They got this wrong because I'm really a good person." And I'm screaming, "No, no, I'm a good person. I can't go there. I'm a good person. Let go of me. I'm a good person."

And then all of a sudden, there was this thunderous sound. This almighty thunderous mighty sound and when it spoke, everything in me just shook and I felt like a dead man twice. You know, just the fact that I even had a body like, you know, like you know, like but I could feel it was just p just it was just this voice was so all it wasn't a voice though. It wasn't a voice I have ever heard. It was a sound. And when it spoke, it was so thunderous and so terrifying that everything in me just shook like a rag doll. And um, and I could clearly understand what it said. My word says, "Unless you're born again, you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven." And you're just froze because I'm thinking, "Oh crap." I have like this flashback of hearing born again and mocking it. Oh, that's stupid. And here is this almighty thunderous sound that is so absolutely terrifying. Interrupting me when I'm screaming, but I'm a good person. I'm a good person. And then this thunderous sound. My word says unless you're born again, you should not enter the kingdom of heaven. And I'm like, what? Like I'm like, "Oh man, I'm in like so much trouble. I'm like, what am I going to do?" Cuz I know I'm not born again and I'm feeling really kind of bad because I mocked that. The very thing I needed, I mocked it. So, you know, it's kind of like having that blood guilt that, you know, the very thing that you mocked was the very thing you needed to be able to go to heaven. And um, and I thought, "Oh man, I'm doomed and I better come up with something quick." And I'm like flipping through my rolodex like, "What can I use?" You know? And so I rebuttled and I cried out and I says, "Well, I know who Jesus is again." This mighty, thunderous, almighty, monstrous sound. When it spoke, everything in me shook again like a rag doll. And it was just so absolutely terrifying. And just the sound of this sound was so terrifying. And um, I hear even the very demons know who Jesus is. How do you say you do better? Checkmate. Like, oh man, I'm toast. I'm going to be crispy. I'm thinking that didn't work. And I'm like, oh no. And it just shut it down because like there's nothing else I'm going to be able to use to try to redeem myself in any way to try to convince anybody that I'm a good person.

And then suddenly I have this amazing a film strip came. It came from my right to my left. It was it's so hard to explain. It's like going to the movies, but you're in the movie and you're in this um what did I call it before? Um uh oh, this is where I go blank. Um, it's like my life journey. It it's like um, it came from from the right to the left. It stopped. Suddenly, I'm in this moment. It's not a repeat. It's not a rewind. I'm in the original and I'm actually in it. And I've been given an opportunity to accept Jesus. And I said, "No, that one goes, the next one comes." And it's not like I keep stepping into it every time. I'm just in it. And when I'm in it, the frame comes and it changes. This everything changes. And it was the original moment that I was giving an opportunity to accept Jesus. And I said, "No." And this life review, it just kept coming. It just kept coming. And I kept saying, "No, no, no." And it was like an hour long. And I was without excuse. I could have accepted Jesus, but I said no. And all the details were there. It was there were no details that were missed, nothing that was left out. And then, you know, you have like this conviction like I said no to Jesus. And you know, you have to stand on your own feet at this point. You know, you're accountable. And then it went from bad to worse because after that life review, um, which like I swear it seemed like it was like an hour long. Um, the next one was every single sin I had ever committed. Every single one. All the details. Nothing left out. Every sin accounted for. Every single one. Every I'm only 18, but this was like an hour-long life review of every single sin I had ever committed. And after that was over, I stood there processing everything that has happened that is happening, coming to terms with I I have no excuses. I am without excuse. I'm completely without excuse. God gave me every single opportunity to accept Jesus and I said no. And I committed all of these sins. They were mine. They belong to me. I'm guilty. Every single one. Every single little tiny sin to my account. Every detail remembered. And I knew that I was without excuse. But you know the thing that was really amazing, I stood there knowing God was just. Now before this would have happened, your imagination would be how people would curse God, right? Yeah. Scripture tells us that every knee will bow. And here I am in this and I am realizing this is my own doing. This is my own free will choice. These were my free will choices. My free will choice to sin. My free will choice to say no. God loved me. I knew he loved me. But this is not about love. This is about my choices. I was given a free will choice. I exercised my free will choices the way I wanted to. And these were my choices. Every single one remembered. And rather than me being angry at God or cursing God, right, knowing I'm going to hell, like I now know I reconciled I am going to hell, but God is just. And that all of a sudden like this feeling like on me and and it felt like pine sap. I don't know how to explain it, but I'm like I'm like what is that? It's invisible. You can't see it, but I could feel it. And it was really thick and gross and sticky and gummy. And it was just like, "Oh, I just I can't stand this." And it's like all over me and it won't come off and I can't get it off. It's like it's stuck to me. It's part of me. And I in saying, "What is this? What is this?" And the revelation was this is my sin. This is my sin and I must bear my own sin. And if I would have accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and my Savior, he would have taken that sin from me and he would have bore my sin on that cross and I it would no longer be mine. But I deny Jesus. I said no. See, my idea was party, have a good time, live a fun life, get right with God just before you die and you make it in. You get the best of both worlds. You can have a life of fun and pleasure and um right have a great time. Who wants to be a stuffy Christian? That has no fun, you know? Like I like that doesn't that's not appealing to me. So the idea that I can like I can have a great time, accept Jesus just before I die, get to heaven, have the best of both worlds. I never thought for a single second that I was ever gonna get clipped, you know, get hit head-on by a Bronco, right? Like, who who gives that a thought? It wasn't my thought that morning when I decided to run, you know, to ride my bike across town, otherwise I would have drove, right? But, um, yeah, it was a suddenly and instantly. And who plans for those? Nobody plans for those. I never consider that. I've never considered that what would happen between my old age and now, right? What would stand in the way of me being able to go to heaven? And I was all about the fun and the party and the high and getting drunk and you know like I mean I probably make myself sound worse than I actually was but I was at this stage of my life. You know, I was broken. I was really really really broken and I didn't um I didn't have any thought about heaven. I didn't have any thought about walking with Jesus. All I wanted to do was cover pain. See, when you have soul wounds, you know, you can anesthetize the pain. You can cover up the pain. You can drown out the pain. And as long as I was high or buzzed or drinking and having a good time, all of that pain would go silent. But as soon as the high was gone, all that pain was there. And I just wanted to cover it back up again. So, I'm not thinking heaven, you know? I'm I'm probably thinking more in terms of the fact that, you know, God, if you really loved me, you wouldn't let all this bad stuff happen to me. But the fact is, he loved me all along, but it was my free will choice whether he's going to be my Lord, the the Lord of my life, or if I'm going to be the Lord of my own life. See, I trusted me. But whoever figures that all in, whoever brings that into an account, you know, that maybe a suddenly could happen, maybe an instantly might take place, maybe it might change the course of your plan, right? And here I am. So when I reconciled that now I have to bear my own sin. But Jesus would have taken it from me if he would have been the Lord of my life. But I said no. Not yet. That was not yet. So now I realize that God is just. I can't bargain my way to heaven. I you know, you can't name drop. You know, like well, I know who Jesus is. Yeah, that ain't going to do you any good. Even the very demons know who Jesus is. How do you say you do better? It's like, okay, I I ran out of all of my options and now it's time to the pay to pay the piper, basically, you know, like I don't know what's gonna happen now. I'm scared cuz I don't want to go to hell. And in some ways, I still feel like I'm a good person. I'm still a good person. And I want to think everybody's got it wrong, but I came to terms with the fact that I have all of this sin in my life, every single one accounted for. And I'm guilty of that sin. I'm guilty of that. And I said no to the only person who could forgive it. So now I'm bearing my own sin. Now I have to pay the price. And I'm terrified. I'm absolutely terrified.

Somehow I find my way where I have to walk down this corridor just a short little ways. And I get to the end of it. And there's this great vast. It's eternal. As far east as west. It's just this great open vast. I wouldn't call it heaven. It was just this open vast and straight ahead I saw the back of God turning and I stood there seeing God turn his back. I there's just like no description for that realizing am I that bad that God would turn his back on me. It was paralyzing. Bam. I'm back in my body. I'm on the ground. I'm contorted. I can't move. Everything's dark. Um, it's scary because everything's dark and I'm back in my body now and all of the business has been taken care of. I'm guilty. My free will choice chose to do those things. My free will choice said no to Jesus. Um, this I have to bear this sin. It's my own. And God just turned his back on me. And bam, now I'm in my body. And now it's cold. It's dark. It's scary. And this is the thing is that there was like a circle of darkness. And outside of this circle of darkness was this outer darkness. So there's like two circles. This inner darkness, it was dark. It was like the darkest inner darkness of darkness I've ever seen. But this outer darkness, it was a darkness I've never seen before. I mean, how how can dark be darker than dark? I don't know. But it was. And it kind of looked like the Looney Tunes, you know, the um the intro, you know, the C. And so you got this inner circle, you've got this outer circle. And I am absolutely terrified because I don't know what's going to happen to me. I'm in the dark now. And all along that hand was right here on my waist, ready to snatch me down. In the meantime, my breath was being smoded out of me. Now, that's hard to really describe that air was coming out of my mouth, but I couldn't get any back in. I couldn't like, you know, I couldn't exhale and then inhale. It's just an exhale. And you know, you start going and then you exhale again. But I'm not willingly doing this. I'm not doing it on my own volition. It's like a 500 400 500 lb man is standing on me. Not that that's just a visual, but it's that kind of pressure. It's it's that kind of weight. that was crushing me. And every time one breath would come out. Like you don't want another one to leave and you know you're absolutely scared because you know the only way you can live is to breathe but you can't. And then you exhale again and it's being smoded out of you against your free will. Now it's just by nature we breathe. We don't even think about it. You don't think about exhaling. Who ever thinks about exhaling? Most people don't think about inhaling. They just exhale and inhale all day long. You never give it any thought. I realize I'm dying. I'm not sure if I'm dying or if I'm not dying. I don't know what's going on. All I know is that I'm absolutely terrified. I know. I've settled it. I'm going to hell. Don't want to go to hell. Nothing I can do about it. This is against my free will. But if I would have accepted Jesus Christ, I would have been able to keep my free will. Well, I chose to say no to Jesus and I lost my free will. So, all of this is happening against my free will and there's not anything I can do about it. And then another and while every time one breath escapes my body, that inner circle gets smaller. As the outer circle gets blacker and it's taking over and soon I'm going to be in the outer blackness and now I'm down to the bare bones of the last breaths I've got. Now it starts becoming crushing. So if you enter want to entertain yourself for 5 minutes, exhale, don't breathe in, exhale again, don't breathe in, exhale again, don't breathe in again. again. All of a sudden, it starts crushing and you want another breath, but you can't have one. And then another one leaves you. Now you're getting crushed. Like you're being literally crushed. And it is so painful. It's so excruciating that there is no pain like it. There's no pain like it. And I shared with you yesterday um an example of what would seem like the ultimate pain, but this was worse. And I got down to where I knew that because the circle has now come in so close. I knew I've got maybe one, maybe two exhales left. I'm holding on to those breaths with everything I got because I don't want to die and I don't want to go to hell. And that hand has got me the whole time just ready to snatch me down. And I can't begin to tell you the terror of that. I didn't get jacked up yesterday telling you this, but for some reason I am getting jacked up right now. There's a lot of things in this world that can terrorize you. But knowing that you're going to an eternal hell, forever separated from God, and you're going alone. You're going by yourself and it's your fault. You were given a free will choice. These were your choices. You could have changed your mind at any time you wanted. And now I'm down to one. And I only want one breath. That's all I want. And it reminds me of the rich man and Lazarus. How the rich man right when he was in hell and he asked Father Abraham if Lazarus could just dip his finger in water like oh like that's really going to satisfy you that's how desperate I was for just one single breath just one just one just just one reconciling this is it the circle is closed in now I'm in the most excruciating pain I have ever been in the most torment of pain and it's so crushing you literally feel like You are being crushed to death all at the same time. Your last breath leaves you. This hand is there. You're terrified. I'm going to hell now. And all of a sudden there was just like this boom knowing this is it. And I'm screaming. Now mind you what I left out is all along my soul was screaming out to God. No, no, please. Please. You know I'm making all these promises. I'll accept Jesus. I'll live for you. Give me another chance. And I'm screaming. My soul is just screaming out to God, you know, please don't let me die. Please don't let me go to hell. I promise I'll live free. I'm just screaming. All while I'm in all this intense, excruciating torment of pain, knowing this is going to be my last breath, knowing this is it. The hands got me. It's dark now. It I can't explain to you how it all come together. And that worst of the worst of the worst moment. Boom. And I'm thinking suddenly something doesn't make sense. I feel like I'm laying in a field now. I can't open my eyes cuz I can't. I'm still. My first thing is where am I? Right? Because you're expecting hell in flames, right? You're expecting hell in flames. And I can hear a sound far far far far away. And I see light on the other side of my eyelids even though I can't open them. And now I'm like, "Okay, this is a new part of the movie. I know nothing about what's gonna happen, you know, like like it's being revealed to you as you're in it and you don't know what the plot is." And um, I could feel like this little tap of a butterfly wing. And I'm like all of a sudden there was this explosion, another explosion. But this time, God breathed his breath into my nostrils. And it wasn't it wasn't through my mouth. It was in my nostrils. And it was just like it was so magnificent. It was just this like like it was what it was like amidst everything else that was going on. And I like I'm trying to register what's going on. And I I just have like this revelation that God just breathed his breath into my nostrils like, you know. And you're registering like what just happened and like oh my gosh the breath of God it's not my own I couldn't breathe I could not inhale I this is not my breath and all the stuff like, you know, it's like this ticker tape of like all this stuff that's going on in your brain all at the same time because you like you can't believe this is happening what's going on you're wondering, you know, like what's going to happen next um, you're trying to register everything. You're like, I I thought I was going to be in hell. I thought I I you know, am I what am I? You know, like you're you're just trying to figure it out. But when he breathed his breath in my nostrils, it was sweet. I don't know how a breath can taste sweet, but it was it was sweet. And it was his breath. It was almighty God's breath. It was his breath of life that he just breathed into my nostrils. His breath. my nostrils. This is not of me. I ran out of me. I couldn't make any effort to draw a single breath. That was no longer my breath. That see it's it's hard to explain this because in our humanity, you don't think twice about taking a breath or exhaling. You just don't think about it. You take it for granted. You just do. It's kind of like taking it for granted that you can run until your legs are chopped off, right? It it's but to breathe a single breath because see, it's only the breath of life. It's only God's breath that sustains life. We receive it when we're born. It's taken from us when we die. It's not ours. It's not our breath. You can't breathe in your own effort and keep yourself alive. If you're dying and your breath is being smoted out of you, it's not yours. I don't know how to explain that. But as soon as that explosion, I realized that this was the second explosion. The first one happened when everything was chaos. Even though I couldn't recognize that it was the breath of God, but it was this big explosion. And this one was just as big, but it was different. I now knew this was God's breath. It was his. And he breathed his breath into me. And then those sounds were far, far, far away. And they were coming in closer. They were I could hear them. They were a little closer. And then that butterfly wing was patting me just a little bit more, like just a little like I could feel it. Then the voices were coming in closer. Now the voices are right next to me. There's like what's going on now? For the first time, I'm in physical pain. I'm in the here and the now. I feel like I'm vacillating between consciousness and there's movement going on. There's voices, you know, like I'm breathing. I mean, in every breath I was, it was so precious. It's like like just savor that, will you? Just camp out. Like it was like every breath was just so sweet and so precious. Like like I don't know. I don't know how to explain all of that, but that all was going on all at the same time. And um, suddenly I'm being moved and there's commotion and there's bigger movement and I happen to open my eyes and I'm on a gurney and they're pushing me into the ambulance. Now, all of that seemed like it took hours and hours and hours and hours and hours. It seemed like it just took forever. All of it. Every part of all of that just seemed forever. Do I actually know? I mean, it never occurred to me to get a police report to ask all the question. Like, it it never occurred to me to document all of this because this was just a personal life experience that I was having. And I wasn't going to tell anybody that I almost went to hell. What a shameful thing, right? Like you you don't want people to know that, you know, you were on the wrong track. you didn't you went to hell and who's going to believe you? Like nobody's going to believe you. Like nobody's going to believe that. And it's like I'm not going to like make myself look stupid. Like I'm not going to say anything to anybody about any of it. And um, so yeah, so the interesting part about that was as I was getting wheeled up or put into the ambulance, my eyes opened and my humanity came through the nature of the flesh. Remember, my flesh hasn't been redeemed yet. So, you know, when you're in control of everything, you're in control of your own breath. You're in control of everything. It's your life. You're the Lord of your life, right? And I just made all of these huge promises to God, like begging, begging, pleading, groveling for my life. That whole thing was so tormenting on so many different levels in such great volume that I can't make that go away in my brain. Because this is the thing. All of that was 3D technicolor. That's the part I can't explain. I can't explain that. It's not like I went to heaven and I have this grandiose, you know, talking about the colors in heaven and how there's different colors in heaven and how the animal or the, you know, that the flowers are alive. Like that's not I don't have any of that as a reference. Everything else I went through was 3D technicolor. It was three-dimensional technicolor. And now just came back into this world and it's dull and it's flat. I have an unregenerated mind even though I had this experience not yet accepted Jesus. So my mortality could really shine through my um my personality like my state my poor state I was in when I opened up my eyes and I said ah see I was going to live anyway. Hey, real quick before we get back. About 47% of people watching my channel aren't subscribed and subscribing is totally free and it helps me push these powerful testimonies to even more people who need to hear them. So, hit that subscribe button. And now, let's get back to the episode.

And I felt my secret was good with me. And then all along I remember all the promises I made and now I'm on the again. I am on the run. And that was so 3D technicolor, so real that you can't unimagine that. You can't undo that because there's nothing on this earth that is in comparison to 3D technicolor because this is dull and flat. So it's so real that you can't deny it happened. It's more real than any day I have lived since then. And I'm 61. I was 18. I mean, that's crazy. That's how real it was in my spirit. I knew that happened. I can't explain what happened. I wouldn't dare to know who to talk to about any of the promises I ever made. I knew nothing about the Bible. I knew nothing about the word of God. I I knew nothing. Didn't grow up in a Christian family. I knew nothing. So, what do you do with all of that? And now I know I'm required to have to change it up. I don't know how. I got no point of reference for that. You know, this is when people start getting religious instead of relational with Jesus, right? Because they look to religion to like to give me an explanation. So I end up being in traction. I was trying to remember that. It's the silliest thing. It's like why can I not remember that? And I know why. Um, because when I went through chemotherapy later, a lot of things I just don't remember. And that's one thing I don't specifically remember if it was 12 days, if it was 25 days, which seems like it would be way too long. Um, but I was in traction for a long time. And um, and then I was in a body cast for eight weeks. Um, yeah, I had a lot of time to think and because I could no longer work, I could no longer, um, self-sustain, um, you know, I'm kind of held up in a body cast. So, the only thing I could do was paint. And this is the one thing that um, you know, like this is the only thing that I expressed about my accident and it wasn't for anybody else really, you know, it was just a capture how dark dark was and it was also where I was at. I was in a lot of darkness. And in all of that darkness, there was hope. And even though all of my bad choices, um, all of my free will choices got me to that place of reconciling that I deserve hell. I have to bear my own sin. And calling upon the name of Jesus to save me. I didn't even deserve that. How dare I think to myself, a see, I was going to live anyway. How arrogant and how prideful and how shameful is that? Like it just shows how your flesh is so corrupt. You know, we're just so our hearts are so evil. And here I thought I was so good and I'm being misrepresented, you know, like I'm being misjudged because I think I'm a good person. After it was established that I'm not as good of a person as what I want to believe I am and what I am deserving of because of my choices to be begging and groveling asking God to save me. I promise this, I promise that. To experience him breathing his breath into my nostrils and it was so sweet, like if you could taste it, it was so sweet and it was his and not my own. And he chose to breathe his breath into me, a sinner who was deserving of hell. I don't know. I don't know how to put that all together, but I had a lot of time to think about it.

So then in my recovery, I had a boyfriend that lived several hours away. Um, he was going to Ferris and it was break and um, winter break. So he put me on a Greyhound bus to go down to Detroit. So, I have a pin in my leg. I'm going through I got two pins actually in my femur. Um, yeah. So, those are still on my femur and um, I can't drive. So, that's why I'm taking the Greyhound bus down there. And uh, he was unable to drive up and then drive back and then bring me home and go back home. So, it just made sense to take a bus. And uh, so it turns out that on that day there was a snowstorm like none other. And um, so I get on the bus and I'm scaling everybody out cuz that's just kind of how I was kind of like a street smart, you know, like assess the situation, you know, and like yeah, you know what? I am not wanting to sit by any weirdos, you know, like nope, that ain't going to work, right? And um, oh my goodness. So, I found a seat where I could sit by myself. And then this guy came and he sat next to me and he started talking to me about Jesus. And I'm like, "Oh, good Lord Jesus." I'm like, you know, like this is not what I'm looking for right now, you know, because I am so full of conviction, you know, like I am so like I like I said, I'm I'm hitting the ground running, you know, because it's like I want to believe none of that really happened, but I know it did. It's in my face, you know, and God's breath, I mean, all of that. And I promised God, I promised him. And then John the Baptist comes and sits next to me and he starts preaching the gospel to me and I'm like, "Oh, good night." And just to give you an idea of my character, it's like I can be brassy. And after about having enough of this, I am like, I'm sorry. You need to go sit somewhere else. Like I can't take this anymore, you know? Well, the poor guy just got saved, got filled with Holy Spirit, you know, um, he indulged too much information, you know, about like his before life and his now new life in Jesus. And you know, and he just kept going on and on and on and these are the people I was running from to begin with, like all these crazy nutty Christians, you know, and um, and I'm like, "Oh, this guy is just too much. It's like eating too much." Uh, I wouldn't even say chocolate in one sitting. I mean, it just was just over the top. So, I just like, "You need to move." So, he moved. And I'm like, "Oh, good night." I mean, and then in my spirit, I'm so convicted. Like, God sent John the Baptist to me to preach the gospel to me and I'm like, it was in my face. It was too much. But it went in. You know, it did. And now I'm feeling really convicted because he's got the boldness of Jesus, right? He made a decision for Jesus and I haven't done that yet. So that's really convicting me and I should be, but I'm not. And so I'm weighing this all out. And um, so I get down there, you know, we have time with this family. It's time for me to get back on the bus to come home. And there's another snowstorm. And um, now we're crawling. And I decide, okay, I'm going to case this one out really really good because I'm that that's not going to happen again. So, I see this sweet little old older lady and she looks kind of sweet. She looks harmless. So, I went over and I sat as if I can sit down and everything's moving slow and we get talking and she's like, "Well, what do you do for a living?" Like, well, I'm a cosmetologist, but you know, I was in a car accident and I can't work right now. And, you know, that's why I have to take the bus is because I got two pins in my leg and yeah, you wouldn't even believe what happened to me on my way down here. So, I go off about John the Baptist and I'm just like, you know, those religious people and I'm just spewing and she doesn't say anything. So, then

We switch topics and I said, "So, what do you do for a living?" She says, "I'm a nun." You know, I did not like Christians, but I had respect respect for nuns and priests because those were God's holy people. You know, like you don't touch God's holy people. And I was just tripping over my tongue. I'm like, "Oh, I'm so sorry." I was just like so apologetic and I'm so embarrassed, you know.

And she said, "Louan, you don't have to apologize to me." I'm like, "Oh, yeah. Now I got to take that up with the man upstairs now, you know. Darn it." You know, and anyway, so trying to cover up my embarrassment, I started asking questions. Well, what about this and well, what about that? And she so graciously, she just shared God's word with me and she just shared God's heart with me. And she was like, I'm not Catholic, but you know, you think of like Mother Mary or something, you know, like just somebody who's so loving and kind and sweet and in her way and, you know, like I would think, you know, these nuns should be wearing their garb, right? Like, you know, give us some clue so you know, we don't offend you. But she um she was amazing. So all the way home, three hours later, she had full floor and she was able to share with me about God's word and and you know, like it was just so good. It was so good.

And so I got off that bus and I'm like, what are the chances John the Baptist would come and sit next to me and proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ and then on the way home, Mother Mary would like lovingly, you know, lovingly explain it all to me. You know, it's like that doesn't just happen. And um then I ended up getting invited to to my uncle's church. And so now this is January. I believe it was January 12th. And um but you know, he had invited me a few different times. This is the fourth time. And you know, like I am just uncomfortable, you know, because I just don't know what's expected of me. I don't know what to do with any of it. And I start gripping the pew cuz like I am not they're going to have a salvation call and I am not going up there. So, I just gripped. I think I had white knuckles, but I'm just gripping onto that because I'm not going up there. I'm not going to embarrass myself and do that, you know.

And um but suddenly it was just like this was a string, just a divine string that God was pulling. He just pulled me right up to the altar. And all the way there, I am just I'm just sobbing. I just have such conviction. And I know this isn't me. I know God is pulling me up here. And sure enough, you know, it was there that I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, asking him to forgive me of all my sins. And this beautiful transaction took place. For the first time in my life, I had peace. I didn't know what peace was. There was nothing in my life that had peace. Nothing. And I knew right then, this is real. This is real. And just the weight of the world fell off me because Jesus took all that sin away from me. Threw it into the sea of forgetfulness. As far east as west, never to be remembered again. Never to be held against my account. Never to be imputed against me ever again. And he washed me right there white as snow. And trusting me, I had stains. Not anymore. Just washed me white as snow. And this is what born again is. This is my new chance. Jesus took my old life and he gave me a new one. And now I know I'm not my own. I know that sin cost him something. I know God's breath was his breath and not my own. And I want to say that that was a life-changing experience. And it was. That moment was absolutely life-changing.

But what the devil does is he comes in with religion and gets you distracted. And so, well, I better find a good church to go to. And I got saved, born again in a Baptist church. So, I guess I should start going to a Baptist church now, right? That would be reasonable. And then there's all these dos and don'ts and dos and don'ts. And in the process, you know, like you start getting lost in religion and the doctrines of men and it's now performance and its works and its stuff and it's not filling my spirit. It's it's not what I knew when I had my out-of-body experience. Like that's a real thing going on there. Like you know that almighty sound was a real thing. It was personal. Everything that was like being exposed was all personal. Only God knows all this. Only God revealed it to me. It is like personal. And now this is religion. It's doctrines of man. I didn't know this at the time, but you know, it was kind of like, well, you do this and you do that and you do this and you do that. And it just started getting really empty. I did get baptized, but in the mix of all of that, I started going back to my old world because there's nothing in this for me. Like, yes, this is real. This is real. You know, being born again is real. Peace is real. God's word is real. But all I know in the world is religion. And that's not real. It's dos and don'ts and works and this and that. And it's like that that that's not doing anything here.

So in the process of all of that, you know, I um you know, I started reading God's word and God started showing me what happened when I had my out-of-body experience and the encounters that I had. They were actually in his word. Like it was so amazing. I, you know, I actually was prepared and I made notes and um yeah, wouldn't you know, like I'll set them down and they're here somewhere. All right, there they are. Hold on a minute. So one day um I was reading in Ezekiel 43, his voice was like the roar of many waters. But the only way that I could ever explain that sound, that thunderous sound, it wasn't a voice. It was no voice I have ever heard. It was a sound that was unfamiliar to me that I couldn't describe. So, the only way that could describe that was, okay, if a car was driving by and the tire was whirling and the whirling of the tire could talk to you, it was a sound, not a voice. Not any voice, any language, any tongue. It was a sound, but it couldn't describe the sound. How do you describe a sound that you can't describe that talks to you? And I heard it clearly and it was so powerful and so almighty that everything in me shook like a dead man twice. Interesting. In the Bible when there would be an encounter with with a Christophany or an angel, what would men do? They would fall to the ground and shake in fear. I'm like, I know what that is. I hear that's in God's word. But then in Ezekiel, his voice was like the roar of many waters. What? It was just like, what? That's in God's word. That's his voice. That's that's who talked to me. And it was like, and then James 2:19, you believe that there is one God, you do well. Even the demons believe in trouble. What? Like that's in God's word. Like, you know, there's all these things that God was confirming like one day is is a thousand years and a thousand years is one day. That perfectly explains that whole time lapse. It just seemed like it took forever. Like each one of those life reviews seemed like they were like an hour long. I mean, it was just everything was just drawn out. There was no sense of timekeeping. There was no keeping track of time. And I really don't know how long it took from the time I got hit to the time that the ambulance showed up and put me, you know, on a gurney and put me in the ambulance and then I'm off to the hospital. I mean, 30 minutes. I mean, I'm right downtown Big Rapids. So, you know, I'm very accessible to an ambulance. It's just, you know, on the other like when I say on the other side of town, it's just up a ways from town. So, like how much time did that take? I don't I don't know. Um, just so many things.

So, I had so many questions, but I had nobody to disciple me. You know, there's religion and that's dry. It's there's no life in that. In the meantime, all this other stuff that's real, this is real. And how how do you bridge that gap? And I was really discouraged. And then, you know, Jesus when he gives the parable about, you know, the seed and the sower, you know, like, you know, casting seed and it goes into the thorns and the thorns come up and choke it out. And in a sense, that's really sort of what happened to me. You know, like the enemy came in disguise and said, you know, the world makes a lot more sense. And it's been a long journey. I'll tell you, it's been a long, long journey. And that's why I think discipleship is so important because you know what? You can take a beautiful life that God has created for himself and you can encourage them and you can model the word. You might be the only Bible anybody ever reads, but you can share the power of the gospel. See, there's that's a thing. That's a thing. There's a form of godliness that denies its power. That's religion. It's a form of godliness, but there's no power in it. And I was street smart enough that I know there's power. I know there's power, but there's nothing in the world that's showing me how do you how do you bridge that? So, I found that first year really tough. That was the hardest year of my life, I'll tell you. Trying to be a Christian, trying to be one of them Christians, you know, and I didn't want nothing to do with religion because it's dry. It's dead. There's nothing in it. There's no life. There's no power. And I had all of this happen 3D technicolor. And now I'm forced to live in a flat three-dimension or two-dimensional world, you know. Um, it's dull. It's flat. It's two-dimensional. And I got all this. How do I reconcile that? That was a tough year. That was a really, really, really tough year because I now know Jesus is real. Like, nobody can take that away from me because I know Jesus is real. He's the real deal. Cuz he took all that sin and he took it away from me. And for the first time in my life, I felt weightless. I didn't have any of the sin condemning me. My heart was pure and I had the peace of God. And God's word says, Jesus says that he gives peace. He gives peace that the world can't give. That's the kind of peace I had. And if there's anything that sold me on this Jesus thing, that peace. I never had peace in my life. I came from a broken home. I was a broken soul. I was covering up the pain with things that just made me more broken. You know, you come down from the high and your problems just got a thousand times worse. So get high again and they'll go away. You know, there was no peace anywhere in my life. Nowhere. And that day when I asked Jesus to be my Lord and my Savior, when I asked him to forgive me of my sin, I gave him my ashes and he gave me beauty. There's no debate. You're not going to tell me that Jesus isn't real. That ain't going to happen. Street smart enough. I'll stand up to you. I'll stand up for anybody. And I will tell you that this Jesus is real. And I'll tell you every reason why. I just didn't know how to live for him. I didn't know how to do this Christian thing. I didn't know what's expected of me. I I just didn't know. And it's not like, you know, you want to all of a sudden just say, "Oh, well, you know what? I don't want to have fun anymore. I'm going to live a life. I'm going to be a stiff." You know, who who's going to sign up for that? You know, the fact of the matter is sin is fun. That's why people do it, right? Absolutely grueling to find out that all I had to do was just go around the block. That's how important it is to disciple people. And that's what Jesus said. Go and make disciples of men. He didn't say, "Go and tell men to ask Jesus in their heart and all their problems go away." Because see, that doesn't work. In fact, many Christians say, "Well, all you got to do is just ask Jesus in your heart." And I can beg to differ right now. That is not the gospel. See, the gospel, it's the power of the gospel unto salvation. If the gospel isn't powerful enough to change you, then it's not the gospel. It's a different gospel. It's a strange gospel. There are people that have a form of godliness, but they deny its power. Oh, that only happened back during the times of the New Testament, right? Healings, that that deliverance, praying in tongues, that all ceased with the apostles. Anybody who's going to stand and stand hard and dig their heels in as a cessationist and declare what I just said has not encountered Holy Spirit. Because when you encounter Holy Spirit, he undoes everything. You get undone. And Holy Spirit is always in agreement with God's word. Always. God's word says that Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He's unchanging. So the Jesus of the New Testament is the Jesus of today who's the Jesus of tomorrow. He's the same Jesus full of power. If the power if the gospel cannot be powerful enough to change you, it's not the gospel.

Now I did have a powerful encounter with Jesus when I asked him to be my Lord and Savior. But after that they weren't preaching the gospel. They were preaching doctrines of men. And it was dry and mucky and dead and lifeless. But see, you get turned on to Holy Spirit, everything comes alive. You see the dead raised. You see the sick healed. How can you not get excited for that? I mean, sign me up for that. That's the power of the gospel. If Jesus isn't powerful enough to raise the dead, heal the sick, cast out devils, then how is he ever powerful enough to be raised from the dead? And the thing is, now I'm going to rant. I'm going to preach. Now, the thing is, this is the thing. Christ's resurrection is pivotal. If you do not believe in the resurrection of Jesus, that is a strange gospel. That is not the true gospel. That's a strange gospel. That's a powerless gospel. Let me tell you something else. There's proof that Jesus was resurrected. There's proof. It's Holy Spirit. Jesus said before he ascended, see now this is in between. He was resurrected and now he's going to ascend. And he gave his his disciples instructions, right, to go meet up in the upper room. However, he said that the comforter, I must go now so that the comforter may come. Jesus was a man. He was a God man. He was fully God and he was fully man. But he could only be in one place at one time ever. But he promised us, I go now so that the comforter can come. Our helper. Who's that? That's Holy Spirit. So when Jesus ascended into heaven, that is proof of the power of Holy Spirit. Because it wasn't until Jesus was ascended that Holy Spirit came upon men and they spoke in tongues of angels. They spoke in unknown languages. They spoke in known languages. It was the power of Holy Spirit. And Holy Spirit has been given to us by Jesus. That is a gift from Jesus to us. He's the one who baptizes in Holy Spirit and with fire. That's powerful. Jesus is the power of God. Jesus has given us his power. I can tell you right now, I can't I can't heal anybody. Who am I? I'm a man. I'm I'm a mankind. There's no power in me. Oh, yes, there is. Because I'm a son of God now. I have Jesus living inside of me. When I'm weak, he's strong. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. He has taken residence in me. So, I am like a wire. There's no power in a wire. A wire is a wire. But when it's connected to the light switch and you turn the light switch on, now you got power surging through the wire. I'm just the conduit on God's hands and feet on the ground. God wants us to co-partner with him. Why? To demonstrate his power on earth. Why would he choose mankind despite himself to be that conduit? That is amazing. Crazy to me that God would give me that responsibility and trust me with it. And he says to us, "Go lay hands on the sick, raise the dead, cast out devils, cleanse the lepers, set the captives free, bind up the brokenhearted." I mean, what? We get to co-partner with God. How can we do that without his power? See, it's the power of the gospel unto salvation. If there is no power, you've got the wrong gospel. Straight up. Well, I asked Jesus in my heart, has it changed you? Has the gospel that you've heard, is it powerful enough to change you? See, these are things I had to learn along my continental continental tour around the USA. I had to learn everything the hard way. Everything. And if I get put into a pit, pushed into a pit, I refuse to come out unless I come out with a diamond. No, I get pushed into a pit, I refuse to come out unless I have a diamond. I will find the diamond in the pit. The power of the gospel is where it's at. It's about the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ. If you don't have power, you got religion. You got dead religion. You got a form of godliness. But you, it's got no power to help you. It's got no power to help you change your life. Has no power to um to raise the dead, heal the sick, cast out devils. And that's free. I'll just give that to you. I went on a rant, but there you there it is.

>> There's so many questions, so many things I want to follow up on. Well, the first thing something you said that man, it just hit me hit me hard when you said God turned his back on you. Yeah.

>> Man. This that's something I wouldn't want to witness and I wouldn't want to hear depart from me. I never knew you. But then at the same time, he breathed his breath into you as well.

>> Well, this is to break it down is that no man has seen the face of God, right? So, he had to hide the disciples in the cliff of the rock in order for him to pass by because his he is so holy. He is so holy that sin cannot come in the presence of his holiness of his glory without consuming the sin. See when I understood that reading and studying God's word that God is so holy that sin cannot come in his in his presence without it consuming the sin. It was God's grace that he turned his back on me. It was his love that caused him to turn his back on me so that I could not see his countenance, so that I could not see his glory. Because if I would have, it would have consumed me. It was his mercy. Now, mind you, at the at the time to think that God turned his back on me and am I that bad? I mean, that cut deep. That cut deep because I realized, you know, God is so holy that there's no messing around. So that you know that was a lesson in itself and it was effective because you know you you want to be pleasing to the Lord. You know you you you want to be pleasing to him and if your sin is not pleasing him then he's got no choice. He's got to turn away from sin because he's that holy.

>> Yeah. And I love how you also said speaking of breath earlier you're that our breath is not even ours. Think about it like yeah it's not even ours. We're in borrowed time here. And what you are to do, like whatever you do at the end of your life, you will have to give an account for it. And that life review you were talking about, man, I hope when I stand in front of God and watch my life review, I hope I'm not embarrassed. There are a couple scenes I hope we skip through. More than a couple. Lots of scenes. But man, what a testimony. What a journey. Let's start at the very beginning. I'm curious. that scene you described that clock and as you were describing I just like imagine you're hovering over it, right? Like a a drone going over it. Have you had an opportunity to go back to that place and see that clock again?

>> I have actually. I was scrolling through um I was hoping maybe I could find a photo just to share it with you. You know, it's just kind of comical, I guess. You know, like people know that clock. They don't know it like I know it.

>> You got close. In fact, didn't you say your hand went through it? Right.

>> Right. I mean, it was right. It was in your face. It was right there. And it's like, "Wow, this thing is really massive." But you don't realize how massive it is until you're right. You know, um that that was that was tripping.

>> What about the person that hit you? I'm curious.

>> You know, I well, it turns out he was another student at that high school that um I and um you know, I think the thing that was unfortunate was because you know, like I really was in a position where you know, I was damaged and you know, with the cars and car insurance and all of that kind of thing. So, I think that um you know, protecting you know and and whether he was a minor or not, I believe that he might have been 16 and I would have been 18. Um I know of him. I don't know who he is. I just know and I can't even remember now 43 years later who the heck it is but um we had a mutual this is interesting is uh we have a mutual friend and she was there when I got hit and so in talking to her later she's like Lanne she says my god she said I thought you were dead for sure she says your this was back before helmet days right bike helmets and she says your hit your head hit the pavement a foot and a half apart and it bounced three times on the pavement.

>> Wow.

>> And ironically, I didn't even have a goose egg. So, I would love to meet up with this young man. Of course, you know, like we're old now, but I would love to be able to just get his vanity like just to hear his side of the story, you know, but but how it how it worked was that he was dodging the yellow light and it he was at fault.

>> Oh, really?

>> Where, you know, I was already under the light when it turned amber, but he was dodging the light to make a left-hand turn. So, that's how I got clipped. And so, you know, like I have no ill feelings toward him at all. You know, I mean, accidents are accidents. This is why they call them accidents. And so, whether he saw me or not, um, who's to I clearly, if he would have saw me, he would have stopped and he wouldn't have, you know, so I I I don't blame him in any way, shape, or form, you know? I would just really really love to be able to um connect with him and and, you know, hear his side of the story and, you know, that whole thing. Um, yeah, I I have no ill will at all there.

>> That would be an interesting part, too. If we So, if you're that person and you're watching this video, comment below. We'll reach out. We'll have that conversation. Hey, before we get back to the episode, I want to give you two free books written by my father, who was an underground minister in the USSR. His first book dives into what it really means to walk with God in the spirit, covering things like prayer, the Holy Spirit, and spiritual growth. The second book is his personal journey, stories of persecution, miracles, and how God led our family of nine children through some of the hardest seasons. You can grab both of them for free at godsvoiceday.com/books. And now, let's get back to the episode. Well, what's interesting is that when you were on the other side to me, what stood out when you were thinking about friends and all that? And then your friends aren't coming with you, that voice. What who was that voice?

>> I have no idea. I'm going to ask someday. I'm going to ask the father what was it? I don't know. Could it have been an angel? I mean, it didn't mean me any harm. I don't believe it was demonic in any way, you know, like when that voice was talking back to me, I don't believe that was any kind of a demonic entity or voice or anything. I I mean, I had a sense of I don't want to say peace, but it was safe.

>> Len, after you came back from from this experience, who was the first person you shared it with?

>> I really don't know because I it was a long long time before I shared that because you know like you asked me yesterday well what's it been like for you since then right and that too is also very hard to describe because see like I'm still I'm still in the 3D technicolor like I am so excited for heaven you have no idea like I am so pumped up and so excited I have absolutely no fear of death at all whatsoever like anytime that I to like check out, you know, hallelujah, praise the Lord. But see, I'm not looking for that cuz I'm like, okay, Lord, I'm on the chessboard. I want to be here as long as I can because I want to save as many souls as I can. like I you know like I I want to punch the enemy in the throat and I want to do some serious collateral damage you know and um so you know like I'm not thinking about like the benefit of like oh checking out this life is so hard and you know I I want to go to heaven and let's get like no my mind is not even there. I'm thinking like, "All right, let's get some armor on. Let's punch some throats. Let's, you know, we weren't born." See, the the problem that people have, they they think that they are born into heaven. They think that this is paradise. It's like, what a mistake is that? It's like, this earth is fallen. Everything in it is fallen. I mean, poison ivy is right. I mean, everything is everything is fallen.

>> Everything's out to get you.

>> It is. But the cool thing is is that Jesus, the power of the gospel equips us. I can do nothing of my own. And this is when I say I can I can I let me prove to you that Jesus is real. I can prove it to you. I'm not the same person.

>> That's a That's a good proof right there.

>> I'm proof.

>> And me, too.

>> Pardon me.

>> No. And me, too. Those that remember me from high school and and someone probably watch me now. probably like that's the Vlad we remember.

>> Yeah. Yeah. And you know, I mean, not saying that I certainly didn't learn the hard way going around the whole continental USA. I mean, when it wasn't necessary, but what I did find out is God's word is true. Jesus, Holy Spirit, God himself, they all bear witness of his word. And if all we do is sit and do a deep dive in his word and take it literally, there's going to be things we don't understand. And people want to get buttthurt because, you know, they think God this and they think God should be that. It's like, have you ever thought for a minute that you're trying to pull God down to your understanding instead of asking God to pull you up to his understanding?

>> You got to reverse that. I like that thinking. Switch it up. So, you know, and here's another thing I got to preach some more. I became the queen of no offense. I realized that, you know what, and I I wish I had it had here, but I'd probably gross gross you all out if I did, but my my hairbrush, right? So, have you ever had anybody just offend you? Like, that that hurts, right? Everybody gets offended. Well, I thought, boy, I am like getting so in tune that I can see off a fence coming. And I'm like, yeah, I'm not going to take offense because, you know, I'm not going to let it set sail. I'm not going to let it get a hook in me. I am just, no, I see what it is. That's a trick from the enemy himself. He's setting me up. Same old tricks, right? So, anyway, um, how I try to, this is just a thing, is the enemy is trying to hand you a dirty hairbrush. Now, if I just did this, you know, like I'm holding this cup out to you and you don't you're you're uncomfortable. You don't know what to do with it. So, you you just take my cup because I'm offering it to you. That is the polite thing to do that whatever I'm handing out to you, you just take it because that's that's being polite. So, you take my dirty old hairbrush and then I say to you, "Why did you take that?" And you'll say, "Well, because you handed it to me." So, what are you going to do with my dirty old hairbrush? Now, you're in possession of my dirty old hairbrush. What are you going to do with it? I need to do this. Can I do this? Will you give me one second?

>> Sure.

>> I think visuals are really important. So, look at this nasty old hairbrush. My favorite from beauty school. I've had it all these years. It's as old as dirt. So, if I like hand out my dirty old hairbrush to you, it's awkward because I'm handing it off to you and you feel obliged to have to take my dirty old hairbrush. So, you do. And I ask you, "Why did you just do that?" You're like, "Well, I don't know." because you you handed it to me. Well, you didn't have to take it, but you chose to. So, now what are you going to do? You're not stuck with the dirty old hairbrush. See, this is how people get offended. The enemy comes along and gets you offended and offers offense to you. You take it and now you don't know what to do with it. And you know what you do? You start getting like start steaming, a little irritated, right? and you just start getting edgy, mad, bitter, unforgiving. So, if you just don't take the dirty old hairbrush, you're good. Oh, yeah. No, I see what the enemy is doing. No thank you. I have no use for a dirty old hairbrush. So, I got really, really, really good at this. I mastered it. I'm like, "Oh, yeah. I see a fence. I see that one coming." See, that'll just make me ugly. So, as long as I like have boundaries, I'm not going to get ugly. At one time I got really so I got so good at not taking offense. I mean I got so very good at it and um you kind of get a little prideful, you know, a little spiritual pride there like I'm the queen of not taking offense and I'm so good, you know, like so this one particular situation, man, I got tripped up and I'm like, nope. Now all along I've maintained I'm not going to take offense. And part of take not taking offense is I'm going to walk in forgiveness. I'm going to choose to forgive. So Lord bless them. I choose to forgive them for what they just did. I choose to forgive them. They try to pass up offense, but I'm not going to take that offense and I choose to forgive them. And you become like the queen of forgiveness. I just forgive everybody because I don't want to I don't want that to make me ugly, you know? So I had this situation and it just kept repeating. And you know, like how sometimes you can get triggered up and I'm just getting mad and I don't know what I'm walking in forgiveness. I refuse to take offense. Why am I so mad? Well, because I had to start forgiving seven times 70 a day. And I like, okay, but my heart's pure. Like, I keep sweeping it out. I keep sweeping it out. Like, you know, as long as you just walk in forgiveness. You know, Jesus says, you know, if you do not forgive, you will not be forgiven. Well, you know what? I'm obligated to forgive. I must forgive in order to be forgiven. Jesus forgave much. Who am I to say, "No, I'm not going to forgive little." So, this started to get kind of ugly. And so, I reached out to what I would refer to her as um Mama Lois. She was like a spiritual mother, like you know, amazing woman of God, spirit-filled woman of God. And so I called her up like, "Mama Louisis, I I'm struggling with this thing." And I says, "And I I forgive 70* 7. I refuse to take offense." And she was so funny. She says, "Ah, what your problem is is that you just truly haven't forgiven. You're just a bunch of lip service." Now I'm offended. Now I'm like, "What?" And I'm like, "Oh." And then the Lord said, "Close that door." And then he tells me, just because you ask for counsel doesn't require that you take it. He said, "Close that door." Lord, she's the wisest woman I know. Like, who else am I going to go to for counsel? The father. The father's full of counsel in his might and in his counsel, right? The six spirits of the Lord, right? I'm like, "All right." Or seven spirits of the Lord. And I'm like, "All right, Lord. What is it? What's my deal?" He says, "You have forgiven. Good job." He says, "That's not your problem. While offense is knocking at your door, resentment is going around the backside of the house and setting a hook. So, you might become really good at not taking offense. And you're the queen of not taking offense, but that was just a decoy. It was just to keep you busy over here so resentment could go around the back door and set you. He says, "Your problem is not that you haven't forgiven. your problem is is that you have become resentful for all of the hurt that this person has caused you and continues to cause you."

>> And I saw a great big huge lake full of resentment. And I'm like, how did I miss that? I'm like, Lord, what do I do with that? He says, all that you need forgiveness for. So, I needed to ask the father for forgiveness. He says, "Because when you truly forgive somebody, you have no right to be resentful for the hurt that they have caused you or continue to cause you." And I'm like, "What?" So, I asked the father to forgive me for all of the resentment, for all of the hurt that this person was. I forgave them, but I was resentful for all of the hurt that they have caused me and continue to cause me. And I was bound to it. Even though I forgave them, I choose to forgive. I choose not to take offense. That residual hurt is what was still hurting. And I was resentful for that hurt, right? So I'm like, wow. So as soon as I asked Jesus to forgive me for my resentment for all the hurt that they caused me and all the hurt that they continue to cause me, gone. See, the thing is is that as followers of Jesus, if you're walking in unforgiveness, if you're walking in bitterness, if you're walking in resentment, the power of the gospel is not powerful in your life. See, it's not it's not just the power of the gospel that can save me. The power of Jesus that can take my sin away from me and and I can be born again and he will give me a brand new life. I am required to who has been given much much is required. Jesus said if you do not forgive you will not be forgiven. And there are so many people I see in the body of Christ that are wounded and they're resentful for the hurt that somebody has caused them or continues to cause them and they're stuck and they don't know what to do with it. It's the power of the gospel that will set you free from resentment. is the power of the gospel that will set your enemies free from you being in bondage carrying around the the ball and chain they're not you know it's interesting Lanne I've interviewed I want to say 2 something people now at this point a little over a year a little over a year I started the podcast and I've been taking like six phone calls every single day and all the testimonies that come in here come to to me especially the ones that like from darkness to light, not so much near-death experiences, more of before after kind of before Jesus encounters kind of thing. A lot of it, 98 99% of it comes from walking in unforgiveness, resentment, all that stuff opens doors to the enemy and then it takes them on the path of drugs, alcohol, prostitution, all kinds. I mean, you pick your poison, right? it will take you one way. And

>> yeah,

>> then they have their come to Jesus moment. But you know, you didn't have to go that way if you if it wasn't for resentment, unforgiveness, all that stuff. But sometimes, unfortunately, that's uh sometimes people have to hit rock bottom to truly see when when there's no more light around you to to look up. But I'm curious, speaking of of of um sometimes you just have to go through an experience to really truly appreciate it and see things for what they are. your experience. Do you think if if it didn't happen, do you think you would have your come to Jesus moment?

>> Gee, I don't know.

>> Do you think it was necessary for you to go through that?

>> I think I I have a son who's got a strong will like none other. He is like a pitbull on a bone and you're never going to get the bone. And I met my match, right? I mean, that's how strong willed I was.

>> Mhm.

>> And I think about like why did it take Moses 40 years before God could use him? You know, he needed to be broken. And we don't realize how prideful we are. I mean, look, I'm being put into the ambulance on a gurney, right? See, I was going to live anyway. How arrogant is that?

>> But was it your thought or was it the enemy planted that thought in you?

>> I I think it was my own, honestly. I I mean just to be true to myself, you know, I can be a corker, you know, like I know what I'm capable of. I have to share this story. It's kind of funny, but you know, and it and and because of that, I need to walk closest to the shepherd because I know what I'm capable of. Like, oh yeah, no, I'm not going to stray. No, I'm not. I know what I'm capable of. And um so, you know, I I I don't know. I don't know the answer to that. In a way, it was God's grace that saved saved me from myself. See, this is the thing is is when we talk about how Jesus saves, right? Jesus saves born again. There's no clearer evidence anywhere in the world that Jesus saves anybody if he can't save you from yourself. See, that's why I can testify that Jesus is real because he saved me from myself. And there's something so rich about that because, you know, we're all in denial. You know, we're we all have the pride of life. You know, we we all can have inherently evil hearts. But it's not until you realize that you need a savior to save you from yourself. And I don't know if there's another way besides brokenness.

>> That's a good point. You have to hit rock bottom. Well, and I tell you what, I used to work in a hospital. I passed food trays. I was like a waiter inside of a hospital back in college. And you know, outside a hospital, there are a lot of atheists. Very few are atheists when they're on their deathbed. Let me tell you, I prayed for people in the hospital. No one ever said no to me when I was praying for them. because when you're broken, when you're on that deathbed and you don't know, you'll take any hope uh at that point. And I think yeah, I think that's why the Bible says, "Rejoice when trouble comes your way. When you experience all this hardship, you learn a lot more from failures than you do from success."

>> Oh yeah. Paul in second Corinthians talking about his weakness, right? The thorn in his flesh. I mean, I had to kind of dissect that. I am like, you know, praise be to God that he'd be all the more weak. Like, you Lord, I've been broken enough. I don't want to get broken anymore than I've been, right? And trust me, I've been broken. I have been so broken. And I look back and I am like, "Oh, I would never want to go through that again. Never. But I would never want to undo it."

>> Yeah. Well, and if you think about it, my my uh my parents, mom and dad, godly people. My goodness, they went through persecution. My dad was an underground minister in Kiev, Ukraine during USSR. Mom, family of nine kids, raised ridiculed. I mean, just poor. They had hard lives, but their walk with the Lord is like on next level. I don't know if I'll ever be at that level where they are. I mean, they sometimes I'm convinced that God maybe speaks Russian more than English because it seems like when they pray, they don't speak English. He hears them. It's like they, you know, I have to um pray a couple times. But they have a relationship with the Lord because of the hardships they went through. Their faith muscles just different. You know, faith is like a muscle. You got to exercise it. And when hardships come your way, that's your opportunity to exercise your faith. It makes you stronger in the spirit in spiritually so to speak. And yeah, if God didn't show up when they, you know, lived overseas, they were dead. If God didn't show up, they didn't have they would not live another day. And so they relied on God so much uh because of their hardships. When your back is against the wall, you surrender 100%. But when you live in comfort and security, when you're satisfied, all levels, you got the money in the bank, food in your stomach, you you're taken care of, retirement, health, um you don't really need much of God at that point, at least. Yeah, that's what you think. Uh until something happens, hardship, then you truly realize how fragile all is. And who has your breath? And you realize that look, this body is not yours. This life is not yours. This breath, all that, it was given to you. It's a gift and what you do matters. Um, and I'm curious real quick as as I'm thinking about your story when you you were describing going through this mountainous region. Was it the value of the shadow of death that you were going through?

>> It could be. You know, there's some things like I try not to ad lib any, you know, like I I just I'm just a realist and it's like if I say I don't know, I could speculate, but I don't know just seems to be more honest, you know, because I I don't know. No, when I read the scripture about, you know, God's voice, right? Like, oh, what,

You know, like, or even the very demons believe, right? What I mean, it's like that was concrete for me, like that was just self-explanatory. And the other, I don't want to speculate anything because, you know, I think it could be a dangerous place to speculate something that can't be proven in the scripture, right? And I think sometimes things are left for our understanding. Maybe we get something like, "God turning his back on me," right? Like that was left to my understanding. But then when I see in scripture that, you know, um, sin cannot come within His His glory without His glory consuming the sin, right? So it's okay. Now that makes sense. So, you know, to try to piece things together. And, and I think, you know, like I've heard some amazing stories and I don't want to do any takeaways from any of their stories. And when people are trying to explain something that they can't explain, I get that, you know, I get that. And if they do try to explain by speculating something, then somebody tears into them from another angle and says, "Well, that's not scriptural." Well, I'm not here to debate with you whether I had this life-changing event, you know, like that's very personal to me, you know? And I feel it's necessary for a time such as this that people have to understand God's word is true. It's true. It's true. It's true. Jesus says, "I am the way, the truth, and the life." Stop the bus. If Jesus is the truth, it's not a concept.

>> Stops right there. >> It stops right there. >> He is the truth. Hey, so sorry to interrupt. Before we get back to the episode, I just want to invite you to join our free private community at godsvoicefamily.com where we have daily prayer calls and I lead one of those prayer calls early in the morning, Monday through Friday. So join us if you can. We also have real community and people sharing their testimonies and supernatural encounters. Join us at godsvoicefamily.com. And now let's get back to the episode. That experience when you crossed over and you realized that you did not have free will because you didn't accept Him.

>> Very scary. >> Man, I would hate to be in that situation. >> And you know, Vladimir, I, I didn't actually even go to hell. So I don't have this grandiose heaven experience. And I didn't actually have a, a hell in hell experience. >> Got a glimpse. That was enough. All I know is that process from here to there was enough for me to convince me that that's not something I want to be involved in, you know? And it had everything to do with my free will choice. And, you know, then verifying the things that did happen that I, I can find scripture for. And see, the thing is, I didn't know scripture. I didn't know the word. So when I found it, it was like finding a needle in a haystack. It's like, what? Like I didn't even know it was even there. So for God to confirm things by His word and, you know, like I, the takeaway here is is that I don't know that I actually died. I mean, I don't, I don't know. I, I didn't ever see a medical record that said, "Well, we had to resuscitate," or, you know, like I don't know. I don't know if that ever happened. I, I, there's so many things I don't know. And even when I went to go, um, find an article, right, on the car accident, you know, for whatever reason, the fish, um, at the library, they, there's a whole time blocked out where there's, yeah, that's not available. I'm like, ah, shoot. You know, things that you wished you would have done back then, but back then I was in a different time. I was in a different mind frame. I'm not thinking, well, I'm going to prove this. You know, everybody wants evidence, and I get that. I understand that.

Well, and I struggle with that myself because 10 years ago, I had a face-to-face encounter with Jesus and what He told me came to pass 10 years later. But for 10 years, the enemy, you know, will put these thoughts of doubt in you like, "Did that even happen? Was that real?"

>> Was there were times where I was questioning like, what? But then you look at now as I'm zooming out, everything that Jesus put in my path, He took me through His own school. And, uh, I was, it's kind of like that Moses experience you were talking about, 40 years in the desert. It took me 10 years to die to self. And He puts these different things in our path for you. You had this, this experience. You had the, um, uh, John the Baptist and the lady in the bus. All these people were placed in your path for a reason. But in the moment, you're like, "Why is this happening?" Even the hardships, all the stuff that we face. It's not just by accident. This conversation. People that are listening right now, your heart is open. You're ready to receive. This moment may never happen again. This is it. Like, this could be it for you. And I hope that you'll pause this recording. I hope that you'll drop to your knees. And I hope you'll reach out, cry out to Him, invite, you know, reach out to Him, repent, change your ways. This is your moment. It may not ever happen again. Your heart might be hardened after this. This is like, for some of you watching, this could be, uh, this could be it. So, in closing, how about this? In, in closing, what would you tell that person that is watching, that's on their knees right now? They're hearing you.

>> I had this really broken moment in my life. It was so broken. And I won't go into details about it. I was driving home and I just lost it. And I'm screaming, screaming at God. I'm hyperventilating all at the same time. How you can do do both, I don't know. Um, I managed it and I, I'm, I probably was having some sort of a meltdown, breakdown of some kind because I just hit the pinnacle of, "I can't do this." And I'm screaming, "Why did you even create me? Every single year of my life has been miserable. What is this? Some sort of a sick joke?" I was not asking for an audible voice to speak to me. It did. And it was the only audible time on this side of my experience. And it was ever so soft. It was an ever so soft voice. And I could hear it in all the chaos of the screaming and hyperventilating and, and He said, "I created you for My pleasure." There's a little bit more to that, but I'll, I'm going to stop it at there just because of the delicate nature of the testimony. And I just looked over my shoulder and I had to ask myself, "Am I pleasing?" That day became the first day of the rest of my life. That day began my journey of understanding who I am, why I'm here. You can be a child of rape. You could be a child of an unwanted pregnancy. You could just be unwanted by the one who should love you most, your mother and your father. Instead, you're rejected. You're abandoned. You're wounded. You're abused, unloved. How do you begin to know your identity if you don't have the basic core? And the beautiful thing is is that we're adopted into God's kingdom. We're adopted. We're adopted sons and we do have a family. We do have a heavenly Father. We have brothers and sisters in Christ. We are given a heavenly family. But the problem is is that when you have soul wounds that are so deep and so, and you're so broken, there could be traumas. There could be all these things. And you know, you, in fact, there was a time in my life, another time, another, and I read this book. It was by Carol Kent and she describes how she wanted to pound her fist against the Lord's chest, but where else is there to go?

>> I lost it. I lost it because that's where I was at when I was reading the book. And I think the thing is is that it's not about, well, get your life straight, stop sinning, ask Jesus to be the Lord of your, you know, it's not rules. It's not like you do this and you do that. It's like, it's the revelation that Jesus loves you. That He loves you so much. Here He is, a perfect God-man without any sin. And He steps in, says, "Judge, I'll take her punishment." And He steps in and He takes my punishment. Whipped 39 times with the cat o' nine tails, muscle, tissue, sure stuck into His bones, beaten unrecognizable as a man, then had to carry His cross. Then was crucified on the cross, nailed to the cross, and crucified on the cross. He was an innocent man. He did that for me. Why? Who would do that for me? I love Him because He loved me first. See, this is the thing is that sin hurts people. You hurt yourself when you sin. You, you are hurting everybody else around you when you sin. You're hurting God when you sin. As a parent, you tell your child not to do this for their good and they go ahead and they do it anyway. And they not only hurt themselves, they hurt everybody else in the family. Well, you're the parent. You know what you know the consequences of what's going to happen. And that's why you ask them not to do it. You aren't demanding that they do it or I'm going to punish you. You're saying, "I want you to love me so much that you trust me, that you won't do it just because you trust me. You don't have to fall off the mountain to learn to trust me." And see, that's where everybody's got it wrong. It's out of God's love for us that Jesus died on the cross for us to save us from ourselves. It's to think that God created you for His pleasure. He had to have a Vladimir. Gotta have him. Have him. I don't know how he's going to come into this.

>> Probably made a big mistake creating that guy. >> Got to have him. >> Well, I have a twin brother, so he's like, I guess He liked us that much. >> I mean, isn't it amazing? This life is a gift, you know? And, and it's God's gift to us, but it's also His gift to others in our sphere of influence. I mean, like, I can't imagine the world without you. Never knowing, never hearing, never, yeah. Who's that guy? I mean, look at the impact you're making in people's lives. Like, God had a purpose. He knows your end from your beginning. God is so amazing. He's not restricted to our little time bubble. He's in the future. He's in the past. He's in the present all at the same time. He gives us the book of Revelation so we know what's going to come, what's going to happen, to comfort us, to prepare us, to help us. You know, we're not sojourning alone for absolutely no reason so we can self-destruct. He created us for His pleasure. And if there's one thing I want to say is this, it's like people think my mentality is like, well, I'm going to live my life the way I want to and get right with God just before I die and then I'll have the best of both worlds. No. No. Correction here. No, you did not. You had the worst life you could have. See, it's not until you understand your identity in Christ. When you understand who you are as a son of God, that you are a carrier of the glory of God through Holy Spirit, the power of the gospel operating through you, understanding what your delegated authority is as an ambassador of the living God. You are an ambassador of the living God. And you can't be an ambassador if you haven't been given delegated authority. But if you don't know what your delegated authority is, how can you be an ambassador? See, we have got to wake up. We've got to wake up and understand the time is now. I need saved from myself first off because I keep standing in my own way. Well, how can I make any progress if I'm always like sabotaging everything I'm doing? So, I need to be set free. There's only one person who can do that and that's with the power of the gospel. Once He sets me free, h, I'm, I'm set free so I can set others free. Now you're living the good life. It's not about what you have to go without. It's, it's about what you get. You know, when the Lord asked me to go lay hands on a brain-dead baby and I saw that baby, Jesus raised her up. How can you not get excited about that? When you lay hands on the sick and they get healed, how can you not get excited about that? When you start realizing, my life is not my own. And you know your parents, they were faced with the hardship. They, and this is the thing, when you can provide for yourself, how will you ever know God's your provider? How will you ever know that until you can't provide for yourself? Perhaps it's no fault of your own. And we found ourselves in a situation like that. And God provided supernaturally. Just the most amazing story. But if you can, I had a business. I could, you know, I had discretionary income. I mean, I, I, I could do what I wanted. I'm We don't need any help. It's always fun to bless other people, but to be in the spot where you need help and you call upon God Almighty to be your provider. During COVID, I broke my foot in my three toes. The requirement was I had to have a COVID shot in order to be able to go to the hospital. Not going to happen. Good thing I was practicing healing all this time because it's like, "Okay, Lord Jesus, I need You to be my healer." I've seen God do amazing things, but it's not until you're in that spot where you can't supply for yourself. You can't take care of yourself. You need somebody much bigger than you.

>> Lan, I got to share a quick story. So, when I get, I've been married for 16 years. Uh, my 16th, uh, wedding anniversary will be this July. And my wife was 20, I was 21 or 23. And, uh, when we got married, we were both in college. And I, I'll never forget, we just got the apartment. And I remember I was so nervous because I, I've never had to, I had to pay for this apartment and had to provide. And I was so scared and nervous. And it's no longer just me. Now there's me and my wife. And so we were good, but then the bill came for something unexpected. There was like a big tuition that I had to pay. Both, we were both at our highest state. And so I paid and a wipe me clean. I had nothing. Nothing. And so my wife, her birthday was coming up, 21st birthday. I was, I invited everybody over to, I was going to make sushi for everybody. I like sushi. I make it all the time. And so I was going to have this big sushi party. Well, now I don't have enough money for rent. I don't have enough money for the sushi party. So, I go to the Lord. You were talking about He is your provider, right? So, I'm like, I close the door behind me. Uh, like to say it was my closet, but really was a, a bathroom. I closed the door. I'm like, "Lord, I'm being responsible. I try to do the best I can. I'm broke. Like, right now, I don't know how to pay for this apartment, for this rent." And so, I was like, "I need a miracle." And I just walked away. The next day, Lannne, I go to check my mailbox and there's a refund from Ohio State. I guess I overpaid or something happened. There's some kind of glitch and, um, I had enough money for rent. Literally to the penny. I was like, "Oh my gosh, that's amazing." So, I go back to the closet, aka restroom. I'm like, "Lord, that was awesome. Beautiful. Thank you. Um, I don't have to ask my parents for money. That's awesome." But I'm like, "But this birthday party coming up for my wife. 21st birthday party. It's a big deal. Like, people are coming over. I have not, I don't have enough money to to do this." And I, and I just walked away. The next day, I checked my mailbox and there's another check. And this was like some kind of scholarship or something I qualified for. I didn't know about. Exactly how much I needed to get through that month.

>> Wasn't that? And there's so many more. Uh, but you know when you say He is your provider. >> Yeah. >> He truly is. And I remember when Sergey and I, I have an identical twin brother. Copy paste. If you met one, you met the other.

>> And, uh, same experience. He's truly the better half. >> But we had a business together. I used to work for him. And then for a little bit, he, he helped me out editing the shows. And I remember thinking like, "Ah, you're worth so much more. I can, I need to pay you more." And he's like, "Blatt, stop it. You're not my provider. He is my provider." And, but it's so true. He is our provider. And a lot of times we want to take everything on our shoulders. We want to carry the burdens of our burdens and everyone else's as well. Everything on our shoulders, but that's, we weren't designed to do that. We are to run to the Father again and again. And so in closing,

>> Honestly, I don't even know how to close. I'm looking down. It's like, oh my gosh, three hours and one minute since we, uh, started recording this. We, uh, connected. We spoke for a while before the, uh, the actual interview, but we've been, you've shared so much good, so many lessons, so many nuggets. People, I hope you're taking notes. I, I'm sure you have a notepad with all these notes, but in closing, is there anything else you want to share before we disconnect? I think if there's one to know the person of Holy Spirit. And I think, you know, there's again, religion and they want to say that the gifts of the Spirit was only back during the days of the apostles. And I'm going to tell you that is such a lie from the pit of hell. And we need the help of Holy Spirit. I have so many amazing stories about Holy Spirit. And that first year of being born again, certified real deal, was the hardest year of my life trying to be a Christian. It was the hardest thing until I got introduced to the Holy Spirit, which was quite different than what the Baptist church taught. You know, praying in tongues is demonic. And, however, I had to work through all this garbage. But, you know what? This is what convinced me. It's right here. And after I did a deep dive and I'm like, "Okay, God, I want this, Holy Spirit. Your word says it and I believe it. I'm scared to death because I don't want any demons jumping on me, you know, like I'm scared to death, you know, protect me." And the story is actually pretty funny. But, you know, it wasn't until I came into receiving the baptism of Holy Spirit with the gift of tongues, right, that I was able to start really experiencing the power of God in uncharted ways. It's, it's just so beautiful. It's like, you know, you can't have a hot dog without the bun, right? Like, you know, you just can't. You know, there's three parts of an egg. There's three parts to God: Father, Son, Holy Spirit. And I don't know why people want to exclude Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit is the power of God. Holy Spirit is everything. And we have to be so careful not to grieve Holy Spirit. And our sin grieves Holy Spirit. So, can I say a prayer? Is that all right?

>> Absolutely, please. Yes.

>> Okay. All right. Oh, Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit, I pray that You have Your way. Holy Spirit, I ask that You would make Yourself real to these people that You have been reaching. Lord, I don't know where they're, where they're at. And Lord, I know there's so many of them. They have soul wounds, and You didn't give them, You didn't give them their soul wounds. The enemy did. The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy. And then causes people to get angry at God that, "Why didn't He stop it? He's so powerful. He could have stopped it. He could have prevented it from happening." And the truth is, no, He could not because His first gift to mankind is giving us a free will choice to choose to love Him. And the only way, the only way that He would know that we love Him is by putting that tree in the garden of good and evil. And He wanted Adam and Eve to know His character so well and to love Him so much that they would obey Him and not touch that tree because it would harm them. Holy Spirit, I pray that those that are listening will understand that our free will is a gift from God. It's His gift to us to choose whether we want to love Him or reject Him. Lord Jesus, I ask that You would touch these hearts that are listening and they would surrender. That they would surrender. That they don't have to get chased down. They don't have to be broken to surrender. Jesus, I ask You, Lord, that You would touch these souls and that You would, that You would bind up their broken hearts and that You would breathe life. I just, Lord, that You would breathe Your life over them and give them hope and show them Your power in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. And that You would send them Holy Spirit as their helper, that they would receive Holy Spirit in Jesus name. Amen.

>> Amen. Amen. Luan, three hours flew by like three minutes. You're such a good communicator. I hope everyone enjoyed it. This is, this has been awesome. You pres, I love how you shared your story and then you presented the gospel and just went so, so many nuggets. This would be a book. This, this was like a master class. So, thank you so much for your time and I love the backdrop, by the way. It added to the experience, the fire in the back and you out in the cabin. That was so awesome. And for everyone watching and listening, if you want to get in touch with Lannne, I will include the link to her Facebook page. You can contact her there. But Lan, thank you so much. Really enjoy this and, uh, we'll stay in touch.

>> Thank you so much, Vladimir. God bless you. Thank you for what you're doing. And, um, I just bless you in Jesus name.

>> I receive that. Thank you so much, Lyn. We'll stay in touch. Hey, thank you for watching. The next video is with my friend Tony who was in a violent motorcycle accident. He lost consciousness and his soul left his body. Tony saw Jesus standing on the road beside him and what Jesus told him will shake you.