How to Know If A Man Likes You

me out with this question. How do you know when a guy likes you? And how do you respond when he does like you?

Because I think a lot of y'all have figured out that um that you remember that book, it was called Men Are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I think it's true. I think you all realize that that book is actually true. And that men are incredibly hard to read unless you are one.

So, I'm your gay best friend, okay? Your gay uncle, your gay whoever. And you got the best of both worlds with me cuz I am a man obviously and I date men. So, I can pretty much tell you a lot about them. All right.

So, getting here, getting here, getting here. Y'all been writing me this question a lot um over the last couple weeks because of some of the reels I've been posting. So, I just wanted to jump on in. Okay.

Um so, first of all, um the thing you have to understand about men is that they're actually not that hard to read. Okay? We are very, very predictable once you understand how we do um how we work things out. Okay?

So, with guys, one of the first ways that a guy will show you that he's interested in you is he will stare at you. I'm dead serious. A lot of these guys, even some of the finest men that you will ever come across, I'm talking about he's gorgeous, he's muscular, he's tall, he's whatever you define is fine. I don't know, you know, he's got a beautiful face, whatever it may be. Some of the finest men out here have no gain whatsoever. They don't know what to do when they see you and like you. So what they will do is they will stare at you and stare at you and stare at you and stare at you.

And for some of you all, you get really annoyed this cuz like what is he doing? Is he is he, you know, is this is he acting feminine? Does he want me to come walk up to him? No, girl. It's not that he wants you to come walk up to him. What he's looking for is some kind of sign that you are going to be open to him coming up to you. And so where a lot of you all get it wrong is that you interpret his ongoing staring and lack of action as him basically playing a game or him being passive. That's not it. What he's doing is he's staring at you and basically saying, "Please, please, please give me a sign that you like me. Please give me a sign that I should walk up to you."

So here's how you respond to it, okay? And this is for women or men who operate with feminine energy because anytime I talk about women or feminine energy, I'm talking about those two things combined because I don't believe that feminine energy has a gender. Okay, so guy is staring at you. Okay, that is not your automatic signal to walk up to him immediately. You do not do that immediately. Okay, remember we are going to walk within our feminine energy. And in walking within our feminine energy, that does mean that we still have to let him be a man. Okay.

So, one of y'all got mad at me about a week or two ago when I said the whole idea about don't be afraid to initiate conversation with a man. Let me show you what I mean by initiating. All right. So, he's staring at you. Okay? You see him staring. You turn back towards him. So, you're him. I'm me. All right? You're him. I'm you. For better, that would be better. So, he's staring. You notice it. Soften your eyes. Soften your eyes. Cuz I know y'all be getting nervous, too. soften your eyes. And by soften your eyes, Tyra Banks calls it smising. All I simply say is act like you're about to basically smising. Soften them just a little bit. Not like this. You just want to soften them. So soften them. You see? And here's a good rule of thumb for softening your eyes. You should not see any white above or below. Softening is like that. Okay? You want to kind of make them look like an almond. Okay? And there's a psychological reason why I'm going to tell you. So you turn towards them like that. I like to do a little head turn and I will count to three. So you turn towards him. One, two, three and then turn away. You see what I just did there? Let me show you again. He's staring at you. You notice it. The reason for this is because what you're doing is you're acknowledging him looking at you number one with softened eyes. Let me say what a non-soft eye looks like. He's looking at you. You see how that's not very enticing? You soften your eyes, which lets him know that you are approachable. You see what I'm saying? You're not on guard. The eyes tell a story and they also can give an invitation or they can tell someone to stay away. So, you want to use your eyes to communicate. Come closer. When you blink, concentrate on blinking slowly. Practice this at home cuz you're not if you do this for the first time when you stand in front of a man or a woman, if you like women, trust me, it's not going to work. You need to practice this. So, you want to look I tried to bl I'm bad with blinking slow. It's not my strength, but I tried. Right. You want to look for 3 seconds because what you're doing is you're communicating to him, I'm interested in you.

Now, some of y'all y'all are afraid to look at a man. Y'all are. I don't care what you say. Y'all love to make it about the man. He this, he that, he won't come to me. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Girl, shut up when Just Why don't you own your own stuff? Okay. Yeah, he's scared to come up to you, but what you you scared, too? You scared to even look in his direction. Huh? Huh? What you scared of it, baby girl? What you scared of? You know what I'm saying? But we not being scared. We're looking for at least 3 seconds. One, two, three. And then you turn away. When you turn away, don't look away quick. That 3-second glare, baby. Anybody? Okay. A blind man can see you're interested in him if you look at him for three seconds. Three seconds. Okay.

Now, let me tell you what the advanced level girls do. Okay? When you see a man looking at you, before you give that 3-second look, girl, you better find a very discreet way to look at his hands. Make sure it's not a ring on that hand. My camera flips it. So, this is really my my right hand. Make sure it's not a ring, honey. If he has a ring on his hand, abort mission. Okay, so assuming he ain't got a ring, you look for 3 seconds and then you look away. Is he going to come up to you immediately? Maybe, maybe not.

See, let me tell you this something about men, okay? And for the men who are watching this, I love y'all. I really do. I really do. I love y'all. I love all of y'all. All my masculine energy men, okay? You go you. But cover your ears when I say this, young men, cuz I don't want to offend you. They can be a bit dense, ladies. They can be a bit dense. They could be a doctor with a medical practice. They could be a Nobel Peace Prize laureate. I don't even know if that's the right word. They could have all the education in the world, but baby, they're as dense as a doggone stone. They're dense when it comes to attraction. And it's because a lot of them are so afraid of rejection that they will convince themselves, even when you looking at them, they are convincing themselves, oh, she ain't really looking at me. She ain't really interested in me. Maybe that was a mistake. Maybe I'm imagining her looking at me like that. So, you may have to do this more than once.

Now, some of y'all say, "I don't want to play these games. I don't want to play games." Then go find a woman. If you don't want a man, go get a woman cuz they operate different. Then you be the man. It ain't a game, baby. It's how it's done. These singles a dollar bill. Menopause chasing you down like you owe her money. Talking about I don't want to do all this. Well, girl, what you want to do? What you want to do? Let me get back to myself. I got to cuss my nieces out every now and again cuz you you did sometimes. Okay.

Now, as I was saying, he not going to interpret that that 3-second look meant anything just yet. Some of them ain't that quick, girls. So, what you got to do is you got to be prepared to do it at least two more times. Okay, child. Y'done got my pressure up already. All right. So, you look back at them one more time. This time I need you to turn it up to level four. Okay. So, when you turn back this time, a level four is you look again. Make sure there is a smile. I need you to feel the smile lines. Not a You don't have to show teeth. Just a little. And you look again. And this time, what I want you to do, listen to me, is I want you to look at him. And I want you to raise your eyebrow at him like this. And then you look and you keep looking. Not too long, but at least 3 to 5 seconds. And then you look away like this. Now when you do this kind of look away, this is saying come here. Look, look, look at my come hither tilt. This a come hither tilt. Come hither. Okay. You look away like this. Do you see what my body? Look. Did I just say come here? Did I just say come here? Did I say come here? Did I demand his presence? I certainly did. If you do like this, turn away, girl, don't do that. Never turn your back of the head to a man. You do like this. Right. If he still don't come over to you, girl, then he gay. He got to be gay cuz ain't no way. Ain't no way. Okay.

Now, you say MJ. MJ. I But I like this one. And I I don't think he play on your team. So, is there a level three to what to do in these moments? There is. There is. But this is only for the grown girls who know they are that girl. For the rest of you girls who struggling with your confidence. For the rest of you girls who don't want to do no work and you want to be on your princess stuff, expecting that everything's going to magically float into your life. This one ain't for you. This is for the girls is who like that that like me. You see what I'm saying? We big, busty, and bold. Okay. So, level three, let me tell you, this is only for the girls who are ready. The rest of the girls, go on to the water fountain. Get yourself a cup of water. Go to the bathroom. Come back in a couple minutes. We'll be on to the next part of the lesson because this one's not for you. All right.

So, this time what you going to do is you're going to look at him and you see him still staring at you. You going to get your happy big back tail up. Yeah, you you the one with the big back. Who else I'm talking to? You going to get your happy big backtail up and you going to find a way to go near him. You hear me? You are going to position yourself in a space in that room or in that place where you not standing with your good girlfriends. Cuz if you went out with your friends, sometimes the reason why the men don't come up to you is because you standing in your baldheaded girlfriends. And I'm going to tell you this right now, expect to stay single if you always going out with your girlfriends. Cuz men will not approach you. Why would they? You know how many women out here spend all day online talking about how much they hate men? Why on earth would a man in his right mind walk up to a a group full of women not knowing which one may be open to him and which one just hates men for the sake of hating men. You see what I'm saying? Which one's man just broke up with her? You see what I'm saying? So what you going to do is you going to find a way to move into a space that's near him that creates an open room for him to come up to you, but it needs to be in front of him. So for example, I did this. I remember when I when I met my it was a partner from years ago. I was at a party. Okay. He kept staring at me from across the room. I kept looking back at him. He kept staring at me. I kept looking back at him. Okay. But I was like, "He moving too slow." So what I did was I found like a little sofa area. It's like a house party. A little sofa area where nobody else is really sitting. I would have sat there crossed my little leg. This not my cell phone. This my charger. But I was just like this and I just kept on sitting like this. Mhm. Like this. So I was right in front of him and he was standing right there and I looked up at him like this and kept on scrolling. Of course. Then he comes over. Hey, are you by yourself? Are you by yourself? I am notice I didn't do too much cuz y'all say MJ that's so masking to walk up to a man girl I didn't walk up to him. I put myself in a space where he can walk up to me. That's what I mean when I say don't be afraid to approach a man. I'm not literally saying walk up to him and tap him on the shoulder and saying how you doing pretty young lady. No. The way we approach men is we position ourselves so that they can approach us. Get it, girl? >> I am. >> He said, "Oh, okay. Uh uh is is anyone sitting beside you?" >> You want to? Yeah. Yeah. Here's how you get him to do more of the talking. Answer with short answers, but not one-word answers. So, don't go ask him the questions. Who are you? How are you? Where are you from, girl? Don't do that. You should not be asking questions. He should. So, he sits down. So, um uh yeah, how how do you know the host of the party? Oh, um I don't really know them that well. My friend invited me. And you? >> Oh, blah blah blah. When the conversation feels like it's going flat, that's okay. It's his job to keep it going. Like, oh, yeah. So, um, yeah, I just, uh, yeah, I noticed you earlier. I saw I noticed you, too. Right.

So, that's how you deal with it when he's staring at you. We're going to go through the steps quickly, and then we're going to go to the next way that you know that you can identify when a man likes you. When he's staring at you, 3-second glare towards him, a light look away. The next time, 3 seconds more, you're going to smirk and you're going to raise an eyebrow. Make sure when you look away, you're just showing neck. And that's the look away. This is the look away, not a this is the look away. And the third time, if he still doesn't come up to you, then you position yourself in his presence so that it is un uh so it is beyond without beyond reasonable doubt that you are standing there waiting on him to come to talk to you. If he still don't respond to you, then baby, he's as gay as a $3 bill. He's gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay. Mhm. Gayer than me. Okay? You don't want that. Okay? You don't want that. Trust me. All right? So, that's the second way. That's the first way that you can identify if a man likes you.

The second way to identify if a man has liked you. How long I've been on, babe? I've been on about what, 10, 15 minutes right now. The second way you can identify if a man likes you. Okay? Is that is going to, and this used to annoy the hell out of me, but this is what they do, baby. We can't change them, so we just have to learn them. I'm going say it again. We can't change them, so we have to learn them. Okay? Is he will be in your DMs or sending you messages regularly. Hey, how you doing? Good morning. Good evening. How you doing? How you doing? What's going on with you? They will reach out to you regularly. Maybe not every day, but regularly. I I wish I could say this to every masculine energy man on earth that that [ __ ] is annoying as [ __ ] because it really does not communicate much. And like five other men are probably doing the same thing to you. You know what I'm saying? Like, so it's like, "Baby, I need you to come harder. I need you to do a little bit more cuz this is not clear." And I I'm going to own this right now. I may be a business owner, honey. I done got licensed to become a stock broker. I got my insurance licenses. I done learned a whole other language, honey. I done done a whole lot of things. Built businesses, trained almost 20,000 people around the world on how to sell insurance, but baby, I'm dumb when it comes to certain things. And one of those things is guessing what you feel about me. Baby, I'm dumb. Mm- dumb, dense, whatever you want to call it, baby. Okay? So, if you not telling me or being clear with me that you like me, baby, I don't know what to do with it. And they don't get that. They don't get that. But we have to understand them. Remember, we can't change them. We can't change them. Okay? So, we got to learn them. All right?

So, here's what you do. He's texting you every day. Every day, all day. You know, text you, text you, text you. If you don't like him, don't do nothing I'm about to tell you. But if you actually do like him and he's doing all that texting, here's how you respond. What you say is you start turning up just a little bit. When he texts you, what I want you to do is I want you to test the waters and push a little bit further and say, and remember this is only for the confident girls, okay? If you're not confident girl, you're going to hear this and you just going, your head is going to go spinning. It's going to be like the poltergeist. I can't do that. He should be doing more, right? No, he'll follow the gauge. Um, so what you want to do is you want to then say to him, "I love waking up and seeing messages from you." Something like that. Or, "I really like when I wake up and see messages from you." Whatever. Um, it'll be nice to spend some time with you in person. Oh my god, MJ. Oh my god, MJ. Oh my god, MJ. Are you telling me to ask him out? No, I'm telling you to put the idea out there so that he can ask you out. Remember the whole underlying theme of everything I'm telling you. Listen to me when I tell you this. Masculine men are afraid of rejection. 98.9% of the time. Masculine men will avoid telling you their feelings in a direct way if they think there's any chance of them being rejected. Well, what about us, MJ? What about us? We af rejection, too. Okay, shut up for a second and let me explain this to you cuz some of y'all got offended when I said this last time. I said that I believe that feminine energy beings, rather we're talking about feminine energy women or feminine energy men, I think that we are built in a way where we have more emotional elasticity, meaning we b we bounce back a lot quicker from a lot of things. All right, look at how we deal with life, right? We can go through hell and high water. And don't we bounce back really easily? Not easily, but we bounce back quickly. They go through hell and high water. Oh my god. You think the whole world's falling apart. You know what I mean? They can't even deal with the [ __ ] flu. Meanwhile, we will still run a household and do everything else like that. Wow. Hacking up. All right. We just have more. We just got it. We got that sauce, baby. And so, but real talk, what I'm saying is this. Y'all got mad at me when I said this, but I think that we are better built. And by we I'm talking about feminine energy beings are better built to deal with potential rejection than they are. That doesn't mean we should set ourselves up for rejection. But it does mean that their minds don't work like our minds. So stop trying to make it an equal thing. Well, what about us? If he won't do it, then why should I do it? And blah blah blah blah blah. If you want someone who thinks like you, then find a woman or a feminine energy man and then go and hold hands and run into the happily ever after forever together. But if that's not what you want, then stop looking for them to act like you. Okay, get it? Got it? Good. Okay, makes sense. All right, so anyway, with them, you have to recognize that men only put energy only put energy into people that they like. When I when I'm talking about like that energy beyond what they give to their family and friends, obviously only put energy into people that they like. You say, "Oh my god, he text me every day, but he don't ever ask me on a date. Why is he doing that? Why is he wasting his time?" Girl, cuz he like you. He likes you. He likes you. And deep down inside, he's still the 5-year-old little boy who's in class and he sees the girl that he likes, but he don't know what to say to her. So, he just sits beside her every day or sits near her. That's all. That's what it is. They don't really they mature in a lot of ways, but this is not an area that they mature very well well in. I'm sorry to tell you. That doesn't mean they're bad people. It's just not how they're wired, right? So, you can be bothered by it or you can look at it from the point of view that this is actually a strength that we have and use it in your favor. You see what I'm saying by that? And so what you then do is what you can do at that point in time is um is you when he's doing all that, you just say, "I really like hearing from you. It'll be a really nice um um or how you say, "I really like hearing from you." Um maybe one day we can actually hang out. And leave it at that. Leave it at that. You're not going to ask him when he's free. You're not going to say, "Do you want to hang out one day?" No. No. No. No question marks. No question marks. No question marks. It needs to be a sentence that you can say with dot dot dot at the end of it rather than a period. Maybe one day we can hang out. Dot dot dot and let it sit. If he's in your DMs regularly, if he's calling you on the phone or texting you, whatever regularly, texting you regularly, push it forward.

Now, for my bold girls, cuz I told you we're doing a joint course today, okay? Because they messed up my syllabus and they messed up the schedule. So, now I got to handle the newbies as well as the advanced girls in one room. Okay? So, this is for my advanced girls. Only the girls in the 301 and the 2011 course. The girls who in the 101 course, you can go to the bathroom. This one's not for you. This part that I'm about to tell you, I don't want this bottle. I want this one. I forgot. This one. It's cuz I put sink water in it. So, I was watering plants. I just ain't drinking that one. It's got sink water in it. This the water here is clean, but I don't like drink. That's just me. That's just me. Okay. Are my 2011 my 301 girls in here? Okay. You see the 304 course? No, that's down the hall, honey. I do that I do that in the next hour. Okay. But no. So, here's for my advanced girls. What you do if he's texting you regularly or hitting you up regularly like a this is for the DMs. This is specific for the DMs. Drop your phone number. You respond to him and you say, "Here's my phone number." In the DMs, this is if he's reaching out to you. I need you to respond to him one day with your phone number and say, "Oh, let me take a step back. I'm sorry. I'm leaving out a really important step. He reached out to I need you not to respond to him in your normal time. If you normally respond to him in 3 hours, 4 hours immediately, I need you to wait like a whole day to respond to him. Throw off the timing a lot. And then when you respond to him, after you've waited an extended amount of time, not multiple days, nothing like that. Just maybe at most, maybe 12 hours. Say, "Hey, um, it's been really crazy. I don't see my DMs as quickly sometimes. Here's my phone number. Send me a message there. Send me a message or call me there or hit me up there. Give him your phone number. Give me your phone number. Give him your phone number. Men may be a bit slow when it comes to understanding or interpreting our attraction towards them. You said, "Why haven't I written a book?" Well, because I wrote a best-selling book already. It's called Get the [ __ ] Out of Your Own Way: A God's Letting Go of the [ __ ] Holding You Back. It's available at Amazon and wherever books are sold. Click the link on my Instagram page to get No, literally it's a bestseller. It became a bestseller within one week. Um, yeah, I did write a book already. Uh huh. And we got the audio version. Um, which is done extremely well. Go get it, darling. It's at the link on my Instagram page. You think I do this [ __ ] for free? Gosh, no, darling. I like you girls, but not that [ __ ] much. You got a baby. Let me stop. No. It's so funny. I hope my nephew son doesn't get mad at me for saying this. He knows how serious I am. Um he hit me up the other day and he was like um he said, "Hey, I got some questions for you about business." I love how respectful he is. He says he says, "Send me your scheduling link um for scheduling a coaching call for you." He's like, "Cuz I know time is money and I need to ask you some questions about business." And he he said he used that link. I didn't tell him he needed to. He he requested. I respect him. I respect him. I'm talking about Marco. I respect both of them, but I'm talking about Marco in this instance. I respect him a great deal because as a man, he does not try to get freebies and nothing like that. He's a very respectful young man when it comes to business. He handles himself. But regardless, look at me. I'm a proud I'm a proud uncle, daddy, mommy. But um but what was I going to say? Drop your phone number for him. Oh, you like the audio version of my book? Thank you, baby. Drop your phone number for him. Men will understand when you give them their phone number. That's like green light. That's like move forward. You see where I'm going with that?

Now, let's say he's already texting your phone number. You're like, "Well, how do I do with that?" Cuz he already got my phone number, but he not moving me forward to a date. Right? Again, this is only for my advanced level girls. For my 101 girls, this is not for you. In fact, you can skip the rest of this class cuz I'm not talking to you today. Okay? Go do the go do the the recommended reading and keep it going. Okay? I'll see you tomorrow. If he's already texting you, what I need you to do and you really want him to say to hang out with you or something like that, what I need you to do is I need you to respond to him to say I love hear I like getting me. I love seeing No, not I love that's too strong. It makes me so happy every time I get up and see a text message from you in the morning. Um, it'll make me even happy when I finally when we can finally spend some time together. It makes me really happy when I see text messages from you in the morning or blah blah blah blah blah blah. It'll make me even happier when we can spend some time together. It'll make me even happier when we can spend some time together. You say, "Now, now MJ, what if I send that and he doesn't respond? What if I say that and oh my god and he rejects me? MJ, I'm I'm not strong enough to do this. I don't know if I can handle a man who's basically a stranger to me that I barely know not responding and maybe rejecting me. I don't know if I can handle it. I know I got through childhood trauma. I know that I've raised multiple children. I know I've worked in jobs that was stressful to people who hated me. But I don't know if this stranger not responding to a text message. I don't know if I can handle that. You see how stupid that sounds? You see where I'm going with that? You can handle it. All right? So, shut your trap and stop talking yourself out of progress. Uh, okay. Y'all done handled everything else. You done been through childhood trauma. You done raised 51 kids. Half of them ain't even yours. You done raised men. But I can't handle that. Girl, you can. You'll be fine. And the reason why I say sometimes it helps to push it a little bit further is this. When you push it further, you get to see what he's really made of. I don't like to sit and wait on men to give me what I want because I have feminine energy and I'm entitled. Girl, I I'm entitled. I'm super entitled when it comes to what I want in terms of how I want to live my life. Not from what I want from you, but in terms of how I want what I want in terms of how I live my life. You see what I'm saying? I want to go out this weekend and I want somebody to take me out. And I feel entitled to having that experience. Why shouldn't I? I get my hair done. My skin is pretty. My nails and my toes are always done. I keep this body together. I'm smart. I am entitled to being able to be shown to town. I'm entitled to it. I deserve it. I was created to enjoy life. I remember when God sent me down from heaven onto earth, he kissed me on the forehead. He did. I remember it. I could have been hallucinating. And he says, "Sweet baby, I'm making you to have every good thing in life and to enjoy every good thing in life. And it is a sin against me for you to accept less than what you deserve." And I said, "I got you." So with that mindset, I'm just joking, but seriously, with that mindset of believing that we truly are entitled to every good thing, I like the idea of pushing a little bit more in front of his face. When you know a man's attracted to you, put it out there. I really like hearing from you. You'll feel really good when, you know, for us to finally spend some time together. It's a power move. It's basically saying like, "What's your move, big boy? Yeah, I said it. What's your move? You going to invite me out? What you going to say next? You going to invite me out? Oh, you are. Okay. 10 points for you. You going to be silent and not say [ __ ] I'm sorry, baby. You failed this class. Blocked. Oh, I didn't say there wasn't consequences. Oh, darling, no. Darling, no. He gonna act dumb and act like he ain't see what you said. Again, blocked or just don't respond anymore. I like it. It's a power move. I'm all about the power move. You put it in front of him and say, "React. What you going to do with it? It's right in front of your face. What you going to do with it?" and then he can handle it like a man or not. And if he don't game over, let me tell you why this is the best approach when it comes to this to just putting it out there. Not asking about but putting out there it'd be really nice to spend some time together, right? Because this allows you not to waste your time. Ultimately, here's the thing. Let's be real. You don't really want him. What you want is a man with certain qualities. Whatever those qualities are for you, trustworthy, loyal, um attracted to you, you're attracted to him, similar values, whatever it may be, that's what you want. You're casting for a role. And you have certain things this character needs to have, certain traits he needs to have. Could he be that guy? Sure. But he can't be that guy at all if he's not willing to take a step and respond to your opening the door for him. Right? He can. So with that said, if he does not respond to you opening the door for him, guess what that means? He's not the one for you, right? And therefore, you need to move him out the way or be done with him so you can create room for somebody else. You don't have to be focused on feeling rejected. denied or anything like that when you're focused on the fact that what he gave you was a blessing. He showed you that he does not want to move forward with you in this way. And therefore, he literally gave you a sign from God, the universe, however you want to view it, to move him out the way so you can create room for someone who can give it to you. Baby, if you casting for a movie, okay, let me tell you this. I've done castings before where you're sitting there, baby, and you're sitting, you got 10 actors in a hallway all waiting to come in and sit and and do whatever their performance is in front of you and whoever you're working with for casting, right? The quicker you show me that you're not the one for the job, the better. Because I don't want to sit here all day. I'm Oh, okay. Oh, you're not? Okay, that's fine. Okay, that's fine. Can we have the next one come in, please? Thank you. Yeah. Hi. Oh, please begin. Okay. No. Okay. Can we have the next one come? I want to move you out quickly cuz I want to get cuz the quicker I can move you out, the quicker I can get to the next one who might be the one. See, when you focus on rejection or someone not matching your energy or attraction, if you when you focus on that from the a negative perspective of you losing out on something, what you're really focusing on is from the wrong perspective. You need to be focused on the fact that rejection is protection and it's elevation, baby. Because what it does is it allows you to be protected against something that's not for you and be elevated to position so that you can now be visible to someone who will be for you. Y'all write to me all the time talking about I'm talking to this guy. I've been talking to him for 6 months. We be texting all the time and everything like that. You know, he's nice, but I'm just not sure where we going with this. Girl, why didn't you ask where y'all going with this? Why didn't you put something out there? Cuz all I'm hearing is that you don't wasted six months of your life. Cuz if you talk to him about what you looking for or or say what you want or whatever it may be in an indirect way, you know what I'm saying? Like you put it out there, let him react to it and he responds well, great. That validates you giving him more time. But if he doesn't respond well, great. Now you can free yourself. So to that point, stop putting so much energy and time into a man getting attached to him before you know what his actual intentions are and before you know if he's actually willing to be proactive. You see what I'm saying? Girl by girl by I when I first moved here, I was single um to Brazil. I was out and this guy was staring me down. I mean staring me down. Every time I would say he would star me down, star me down. Stare me down. Stare me down. Stare me down. Oh my god. He was cute. And I knew he spoke a little English. That was cool, too. And remember in Brazil, most people don't speak English here. But anyway, this guy was looking looking looking. So finally one day, I kind of walked near him. Just walk near him, right? We used to jog in the same area for context where we at we jog in the same area. So anyway, I walked near him, right? So that he could kind of cuz he's like relaxing as he jog like, you know, stretching or whatever he was doing. So I walked near him so that he could see that he could, you know, so I got tired of seeing him day after day staring at him. He ain't do [ __ ] He then looks and um he's like, "Hi." Like, "Hey." We talked. We exchanged numbers. He would text me like every day, every other day. Hey, how are you? Blah blah. Never move forward. Never move forward. Eventually, I said, "I love hearing from you. It would be nice to finally to spend time with you. Girl, when I tell you that man gave me radio silence after I said that for like a day, at least two days, and then responded however long later, which wasn't common, right? And responded however long, "Hey, how are you?" as if I never said anything. As if I as if I never said nothing. Girl, what did I do? I blocked him. What is it to talk about? What is it to talk about? You stir me down. We exchanged numbers. You hit me up all the time. And when I finally suggest we hang out or put it out there for you to hang out, you didn't do anything. Blocked them. It wasn't punishment. It was I don't want this energy in my world. There's 8 billion people in the face earth. I don't want to waste time with you. So, as luck would have it, I was jogging again. Maybe about two 3 weeks later after blocking him and he sees me. I thought I would have saw him sooner, right? I really thought I would have saw him sooner if I didn't. And he sees me and he stops. He's like, "Hey, I've been trying to reach you. Um, did you change your phone number?" Now, some of y'all would lie and I probably recommend it, but girl, sometimes I don't mind just being confrontational. And so I said, "No, I didn't." He says, "Oh, my messages aren't going through." I said, "I blocked you." He's like, "Huh? What do you mean? I blocked your number. What? They don't know what to say. Girl, I love being direct cuz people don't know what to say. And if you can be direct and keep a straight face, girl, it's entertainment. Half time I'm trying to keep a straight face. I don't got time left reaction. And he was like, why? I said, "Oh, because it just didn't sound like we were looking for the same things." >> What do you mean? I said, "Well, you would always stare at me." And so we finally exchanged numbers and then you would hit me up all the time and then when I suggested that maybe we hang out, you basically ignored it and then responded back 2 days later, however long, however long later, and act like I didn't say anything. So clearly we weren't looking for the same thing. Oh, it's just a really busy time for me at that time and blah blah blah blah blah blah. I said, "I understand." I said, "But I'm really only interested in men who can make time for me." Yeah, but I I did like you and I wanted to make time for you, but I just at the time I just didn't know and blah blah blah. And I'm sorry. I should have responded. That's me. Yeah. But um but yeah, I mean, we should stay in touch. Okay. Yeah. Well, no, it was good to see you though. So, uh Yeah. So, I mean, you know, send me a message when you if you want to unblock me. Send me a message. Have a good day. It was good to see you and kept on talking. Am I mad at Was I mad at him? No, I wasn't mad at him. I wasn't mad at him. I swear to God, I wasn't mad at him. Was I holding a grudge? No. Oh, you got to be mad at somebody to hold a grudge. I was protecting my energy cuz I think one of the most resilient things you can do is block people's access to you who play with your time and play with your feelings. Cuz let's take a step back from an emotionally intelligent perspective. This man sending messages regularly, right? We staring at each other exchanging that that energy and then you don't and then when you finally get in touch me get my number now and I said and you didn't propose anything. I was like oh we hang out with her. However I phrase it and you ignored it. You paid it dust. Well baby the best way to protect your energy is to do that. Cuz what you don't want to do is I think one of the most painful things to do is continue talking to someone after they have rejected you or ignored you. Because every time you deal with them, you're wondering in the back of your mind what they think about you, what they feel about you, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. I protect my energy because I believe I have to keep we all have to do this. We have to keep our energy fresh. We have to keep it good. We have to keep it light. We have to keep it motivated. We have to We have to believe that we are the best thing ever. You know, like Muhammad Ali before he would get in the ring, he's like, "I'm the greatest. I'm the blah blah blah." You got to believe that about yourself. And how you going to believe you the greatest if you keep on giving somebody access to you who's attracted to you but not willing to take action with you or take action towards you. Girl, no. Uh-uh. Then you always question why, why not? I wasn't good enough. Was I not good enough? Whatever it be. Uh-uh. No. So, it's just a no. It's no. We not dealing with each other no more. You don't have access to me. It's not punishment. It's protection. Protection for who? For me. Oh, I was really busy. You could have articulated that. I just wasn't interested in dating right now. Then you're not the one for me. Well, we can't just be friends. I got enough of them, baby. I don't want no more friends. Mm- No. Mhm. Only thing I want new in my life is new business mentors who can teach me how to go up higher when it comes to making money or a man who's going to be my partner is going to take me up higher emotionally. I don't want no friends. I don't want no new friends. I'm good, baby. But thank you so much. God bless.

So with a man, they express attraction through consistent communication, but you got to push them a little bit further. Okay? All right. What's another way that men express attraction? All right. I'm going to tell you another way that men express attraction is through constantly talking about your physical traits, but not in a sexualized way. Right? Tell you a story. There was a guy a long time ago. All right? And he knows who he is. All right? And I when I first met him, I thought he was very handsome. And he was a very forward guy. He always found a reason to talk to me. You know, when

We'd be at similar events or similar space, he always find a reason to talk to me. But every time he would talk to me, he make a comment about something I was wearing. Like, and normally I wear I wear flip flops and stuff like that a lot. Why wouldn't I, baby? My my feet are pretty as hell.

And so I was so I was wearing these flip flops something. And every time he would see me, he'd be like, "You always got your toes out like that. Why you always got your toes out?" Well, I'm wearing some little tight pants, honey. All right. He always got something to say about my pants or my shorts. "Why you always dressed like that? Why you always got those tight clothes like that?" Mhm. Always got something to say. "Oh, you've been in the gym, huh? You go to the gym." Y'all know I'm talking about the kind of men where they always got something to say. It's It's not bad. They not bad. Some of them may jokingly say stuff, but they always commenting about something you wearing. It's always an observation. You know what I mean? Right? It's always observation.

Now, again, this is for my advanced level girls. All right? So, here's how you handle them. Those guys. When they talk about something, you got to ask them, "Do they like it?" You like, "Oh, your um you always got your toes out. You like this color? You like it?"

Now, girl, I remember one time what I did to him. We were sitting. He was like sitting near me. We're at this like we're at somebody's little house thing and we like sitting in the yard and I'm like sitting there like this, my legs across and he's looking down. I'm like, "Oh, y'all like." He's like, "Oh, no." He say like he say, "Oh, you always Why you always got your toes out?" Something like that. Girl, I took my foot off the flipflop and lifted it up just like this and like put it like closer to his leg like this. Like this. I lifted it up and I was just like, "I said, Do you like them? You always talk about them. Do you like them? Do you? You always talk about them."

Man always talk about your perfume. That's why I sprayed on my neck. He'd be like, "That smell good. You smell good. You like it." Not. "Do you want to smell it? You like it?" It's not right here. Whatever he talks about, asking does he like it? Yeah. "You You're always wearing that dress. I like your dress. Really? You like this color? Maybe I should wear it more for you. Maybe I should wear it more for you." I like it when guys compliment things cuz it allows you to then lean into whatever he's complimenting. Right. I love it. I love it when they compliment stuff or when they always or guys who crack jokes on stuff. Uh, "I see you over there with so and so. You like it?" That's all you got to learn how to say is "You like it?" For real. "You want me to wear it again for you or something like this? You like this style? Okay. Well, I guess you got to let me know next time I'mma see you so I can make sure I wear something like this again, huh? So, I guess you got to let me know when's the next time I'm going to see you so that I can wear something like this again."

He said, "I'm taking notes so no woman can play mental tricks on me." My brother, if a woman is doing any of the things that I'm telling her to do, you are going to love every bit of it. Because what I'm teaching them is how to express attraction so that you can know that it's a green light for you to approach her. So that men like you don't have to sit single wondering how to approach women. Cuz there's a lot of good, attractive men out here. And a lot of y'all are lonely or confused about how to approach women and how to deal with them because of the fact that women, I'm going to put something on them, too, struggle with knowing how to confidently express their attraction to you. So, you're wondering if they like you or not, and then both people are not meeting.

How many times, my brother, let's give you some attention. How many times have you left an event, gone home, whatever it may be, and you wish you would have spoke to some woman? You wish you would have had a conversation with her. You wish you would have exchanged numbers and nothing happened. What I'm doing is I'm teaching women how to position themselves so that you can feel more comfortable being the man that you are approaching them. So, what I'm actually doing is training and teaching this whole tribe of women right here, what they need to do so that you can get what you want. I'm here helping you, my brother. If anything, you should be asking what my Cash App is is sewing into my ministry, brother, cuz I'm doing the work for you that y'all aren't doing for each other. So, you're welcome, darling. Okay. All right. I'm helping y'all out. I'm serious about that. I really am.

But all right. What I'm telling you all is this. When it comes down to it, there is no way of dealing with the man's attracted to you that does not require you to put in some level of effort or acknowledgement. They are deeply afraid of rejection. I don't know how to scream this from the rooftop even louder. They are deeply afraid of rejection. And so with that said, you can't train them or I'm sorry, you can't change them, so you have to learn them. You can't change them. So you have to learn them.

Now, let me tell you the kind of men where it doesn't matter what you do. There are certain men out here where no matter what you do, they will not approach. And if they do approach, they're not going to take it very far. They're going to waste your time. Cuz just like I can tell you how to respond to men who like you, I also need to tell you how to respond to men and how to deal with men who like you, but they're a waste of your time. And how to identify them. The first type of man who will waste your time is a man who likes you, but he's intimidated by you. He likes you, but he's intimidated by you. Girl, there's nothing you can do for a man who's intimidated by you. There's nothing you can do for a man who's intimidated by you. If a man is intimidated by you, girl, there's nothing you can do. He will waste your time. He will never move forward. He will get your phone number and will not ask you out. He will ask you out but not treat you like you're the real deal. Some of y'all wondering, "Why is this man wasting my time? Why is he not treating me like I'm the real deal? Like I'm really like I'm that girl. Cuz I know I'm that girl." Girl, it's not that you're not good enough. It's that he's intimidated by you. He knew he he was just confident enough to get your number. But now that he's actually around you more and he gets to see how you are in the flesh. Oh my god, this woman is beautiful. The way she moves in the world, her spirit, blah blah blah. She's amazing. Girl, they get intimidated easily. Just like they are afraid of rejection. A lot of these men get intimidated easy. Girl, some of them afraid are intimidated by their own their own damn shadow. They can't they intimidated by their own shadow. And to me, there is nothing worse than a man with a low self-esteem who's trying to date or get with a woman who he believes he's not good enough for. That's the kind of men that will talk down to you, that will try to tear you down, that'll be possessive and controlling. I will say 99.9% of possessive and controlling men are men with low self-esteems who because they're intimidated by the woman, they rather try to control her and suppress her. You don't want that kind of man. If a man appears to be intimidated by you, get away from him. Cuz one thing he will do is he will go out of his way. The more access he gets to you, the more he will try to tear you down to his level. He will not try to rise up to your level so he can be eye to eye with you emotion. I'm not talking about money cuz you got men who make more money than you who can still be intimidated by you. Let me say it again. You have men out here who make more money than you than who can still be more who can still be intimidated by you. Money has nothing to do with it. And just like that, you could all have a man who who earns half of what you make and he can still look at you eye to eye intellectually and emotionally because he sees you as his partner or potential partner and he's not intimidated by you. So, it has nothing to do with money. When a man is intimidated by you, he will try to knock your self-esteem down so you can meet him at his level rather than working on himself so he can rise to your level. Men with low self-esteem do not work to rise to your level emotionally. They break you down to theirs. And the more access that you give them to you, the more they will do that. That's why the minute that you recognize that a man is intimidated by you, stop dealing with him. Do not deal with him.

When I come into a room, let's be real about it, okay? No shade, no tea. I'm just going to call it out. All right, I'mma listen. I know when I'm getting attention. You know when you're getting attention. If I come in a room and a man staring at me, I can tell instantly if he's intimidated or if he's confident instantly. Right? And you want to know how? Because I activate my confidence. When you activate your confidence, baby, he's going to either activate his confidence or or his um or his insecurities. Your confidence will activate a man's confidence or his insecurities. That's why I say be confident so that you can activate one or the other because I need to see which it is. Okay? So, man staring. That's why I like the 3 seconds stare. Honey, even 5 seconds say, "Oh my god, that feels too long." Well, it's going to get uncomfortable. No, girl. No. What I'm doing is I'm trying to see is this man going to activate his confidence or his intimidation. Little smile. If he malfunctioning then girl, no. No, no, you don't want that. When they start malfunctioning cuz you staring at them or because you looking at them, give them some attention. Girl, you don't want that. Girl, you don't want that. You don't want that. He's intimidated as hell. No. What you want is a man when you looking at him, he look right back at you like, you know what I'm saying? And you like, "Okay, let me try it this way." No, don't wink. He Girl, I like the idea of doing a little look cuz you going to see instantly what is in his spirit. A man can't hide that. They can't hide it, right? So, that's the first kind of man you want to avoid is a man who's intimidated by you.

The next kind of man you want to avoid, even though he like you, is a man who's not available to you. Girl, I don't care how much that man like you. If he got a woman or man at home, he is not for you, girl. Cuz a if anything, you going to be the next one he cheat on. It ain't for you, girl. Just leave it alone. All right. And the final I'm going to answer this. I'm going to go through a couple questions in the DMs here in the box. Cute. Then I'm going to close out. Um, the other type of man to avoid is a man where even though you got his number and he has access to you and you hinted about, oh, it'd be really great to hang out one day. If he doesn't take the bait, then don't deal with him. If you sent it on Instagram, click that little unsend button. You know how you got the unsend button? Unsend the message. Don't even let that sit out there in the world. If he don't respond to that within a day, girl, unsend that and move on. All right, keep it moving.

All right, let's see. What's a couple questions? I'm only answering questions related to what I'm talking about today. Um, after match with the guy, how does one keep the momentum going after talking a week or two with the guy? That's a great question. So, you're talking about like online dating. Um, I think a great way to keep the momentum going is to not rely on the the match. Here's my personal belief. If you match with a guy online, then you all need to be meeting in person within at least seven days. Within at least seven days, you need to be meeting in person.

Someone says, "I didn't know you were gay." You know, baby, I would have taken that admission to my grave because you just communicated a level, a lack of a level of intellect or perception. You didn't know I was gay. I have lived in almost every corner of the earth and in every corner of the earth. Even deaf blind people know I'm gay. So, the fact that you didn't know tells me I wouldn't I you couldn't have paid me to admit that out loud. You couldn't have paid me. That would have been like saying I didn't know the sky was blue. You couldn't have paid me to say that out loud cuz it just say something bad about you. But God bless you. I love you anyway. Stick around, baby. I'mma help you. How do you keep the momentum going? I'm just playing with him, but I'm kind of serious. All right. I if he doesn't ask you out or it's not a date plan within seven days, I don't usually want to continue talking. That's just not my thing. So, what I would say is first of all, when you exchange numbers with the person, don't be doing too much talking on the phone, too much texting. When as soon as you all exchange numbers, hey, um, you know, it'll be really great to hang out. Leave it at that and see how he responds to it. If he hasn't said it yet, then bring it up. Hey, it's been really great talking to you. Um, you know, um, I'm looking forward to being able to meet you in person and then let him work on it. You know what I'm saying? I believe momentum is best. You can't keep momentum up. Just momentum up on the phone. You got to see each other in person. You got to hang out.

Now, let me tell you from a safety perspective. I believe in doing a video call first. I believe in and I'm not give y'all are adults. I'm not telling you what to do. I'm just telling you my p my belief. Meet in a public place. They should not be picking up from your house. Ain't no amount of shivery. I don't understand these women who like send an Uber for me. Girl, first of all, why can't you get your own Uber? Second of all, then he knows your address, dummy. Girl, get yourself to the date and make sure you park in a place where wherever you parked where it's around a lot of other cars so that when you got to go back to your car at the end of the date, it's a lot of other people around. Okay, let me see here. Okay.

How the hell do you be content with being single? I'm tired of looking for attention. I know I need to attract, but this is so Aggy. I'm 26, gay, and never been in a relationship or have anyone tried to pursue me. I never say be content with being single. I think if you want a man, you want a man. I mean, literally, I've done thousands of videos on dating and relationship. That's, you know, my genre, so to speak, or one of them at least. So, I'm not I ain't told you that. And whoever tell you that, don't listen. So, people like, "Oh my god, just just love life and love's going to find you. Don't focus on it. Do other things and love's going to find you." Shut up. People said it's so stupid. Cuz my thing is, anything else in life that we want, we're intentional about positioning ourselves to go after it. That doesn't mean we have to become obsessed with it, but we position ourselves to go get it. Or at least, you know what I'm saying? So, here's my thing. I want you to be honest with yourself because I can't see you. I don't know how you look. If no one is approaching you ever, right? No one's approach I think that's what I read in your question. I may have misread it. Right? If no one's approached you ever without knowing you, then that would lead me to believe that you are in a space where you are not around any gay people ever, which is pretty hard to do. But maybe you're in a space where there are gay people there, but they're very closeted. Maybe you need to put yourself in a different space because there gay people everywhere. But if you're in a space where where the gays are not approaching you or even expressing attraction in you, then you're probably in a space with a lot of closeted people and you can't get anything out of that. There's not they're a waste of time, right? So that's number one. Put yourself in a different space. Um, consciously do that. The second thing I would say, and by different space, I mean put yourself in spaces where there are people who are gay there, who are comfortable being gay. Like when I was younger in my early 20s, I used to go out to clubs and stuff like that. Um, a lot it is. I hated clubs. I was an introvert. I hated clubs. I hated clubs and loud music and everything like that. I hated it. But the alternative was hanging in space with a bunch of straight dudes, which I didn't want to hang out with. You know what I'm saying? Nothing against them. They were cool for friends. I didn't want to be in I wanted to date. I wanted to be around people who would be interested in me. So, I chose to put myself in spaces where there'd be a higher probability of that. You know what I'm saying? Um, so anyway, that's number one.

Number two, again, without knowing you, without knowing anything about you, because I don't know, but if no one's approaching you, and let's say that you are also in spaces where there are gay people who are comfortable with expressing attraction in that space, I want you to objectively do an inventory on how you present yourself from physical to personality. Because maybe you're an extremely attractive guy, but maybe when you're out, does your is your face very inviting? Do you smile? Do you express attraction to other people? Beyond that, I want you to look at yourself and ask yourself, are there any parts of your body or how you present yourself, your clothing, that you can adjust to make yourself to maximize your attractiveness within the space you're in? Here's the thing, and this is to women, to everybody. I'm giving this advice to this 26-y old young gay man, but this applies to you women as well. Dating is marketing. I don't care how you want to look at it. Dating is marketing. You know what I'm saying? People have options just like you have options. I shouldn't have to change myself and wear makeup or lose weight or go to the gym or whatever may be. You shouldn't have to. But it's reality. The reality is people who and now I know that I don't want to sound ablist because not everyone is physically able to work out. Let's so let's start there but assuming that you are able to maintain some level of physical fitness. We can say that generally speaking physically fit people generally do attract more potential partners. So work on your body. If you're healthy enough to do it, right? If you're able to do that, fine. How's your skin? How's your skin? How's your skin? Okay, work on it. How is your hair? How is your hair? This is incredibly important. Make sure your hair looks good. During my brokest times in my 20s when I ain't had two pots of pissing, I still got my haircut every damn week. Every week. Every week I got my [ __ ] done. And now I got I got hair on my head down cuz I got hair on my head. Girl, I get my hair done at least once a week. Oh my god. M. You don't got to get your hair done that often. Girl, you not mean when it gets to frizzing and everything like that. Uh-uh. I need my stuff to be good. Good. MJ, you get your nails and your toes done. How often? At least every 10 days. And back in the day, before I could afford to go to the salons to do it, I got the little kitten. I could do it at home. Girl, I could do a meme medic manicure and pedicure long before I paid other people to do it. girl. I used to go right to CVS or um or Walgreens, whoever, get the little kits, do the buffing. I didn't know how how to do in jail, but I did the little buffing my nails. Why? Because I know that for me, walking down the street, if I see a man and he look all right, but then I look down his feet, they look horrible. Girl, I'mma turn I'm like, I'm good. But he could be an amazing man. What does it matter how his toes look? I don't It shouldn't matter. But first impressions are built on something. And baby, I didn't like what I saw. You see what I'm saying? And again, I'm not just talking to this young man. I'm talking to everybody, right? Because I don't know how that young man looks. This is not a criticism towards him at all. I don't know how he looks. Dating is marketing. And just like a product, products that are well marketed usually sell better than products that are not well marketed. You can't change your height and you can't change your natural body type, but you can make the most of it. You can take care of yourself. You can prioritize yourself and put yourself in your budget. I jokingly tell people, I say, "Baby, you're not ugly. You just ain't spending enough money on taking care of yourself. You're not ugly. You're not You're just not investing enough money in your looks." People say, "Oh my god, MJ, you're very attractive." I think that I maintain that. Thank you. But to be quite honest, I would I would be very cautious to wonder how I would look if I didn't get facials once a month. Didn't get my hair done, eyebrows arched, las I had laser done on my face, laser hair removal so that my cuz I didn't like I used to get the hair bumps all over my neck that I hated that. You imagine walking up to somebody or somebody walking up to you in a dating space or wherever in business and you got these damn things all over your neck. I didn't want that. So, I went ahead and set aside the money, which it used to be expensive back then, but now it's not very expensive at all to get that done. Oh my god, MJ, I like the way you look. Blah blah blah your body, whatever. Girl, I go to the gym. I go to the gym like 5 days a week. I went to the gym earlier today and then right before I got on camera with y'all, I went and did another 30 30 minute run on the treadmill to make up for the fact that I was eating crazy today. I'm not attractive. I just Well, I think I'm attractive, but I'm attractive maybe partly because of genetics, but also because of the fact that I put money into how I look. You have the best genetics on earth, but if you don't invest, at least on a minimal level, in how you look. You got to put some resources into it. Put you into your budget. Girl, I would rather drive a rundown car with a little piece of a car note so I could free up money in my budget to look good than drive an expensive car driving in that thing looking ugly. Girl, no. Y'all can take this expensive car back. I don't need to pay no $800 car note, $1,000 car note. Take this car back. Give me that little $200 car note. So, I'm going to tell you this right now. A pretty [ __ ] in a broke down busted ass $200 a month kind of car that they just got off of some lot someplace. A cash and carry car. A pretty [ __ ] in a rundown car will always get a man quicker than an ugly [ __ ] in a nice car. You know what I'm saying? A man will buy you a new car, girl. Trust me. He will buy you a car. Men will buy you whatever the [ __ ] you want. Do you hear me when I tell you this? Please. I live in a four bedroomedroom house and blah blah. It's just you there, girl. I would rather live in a two room glorified studio apartment. If that means that my bills are low enough for me to have enough money to invest in making sure I look good and feel good. Girl, I don't need no those other [ __ ] bedrooms. I can't sleep in them. the [ __ ] Put you in your budget. Go on Pinterest. Find yourself someone who looks like what you want to look like, who has that energy. Instagram, wherever you may go, Pinterest, Instagram, whatever. Go on there and find people who look like what you want to look like. People who you follow. Pick somebody who's your a who's your race. And the reason why I say that is because you need someone who's going to have some of the genetic features that you naturally have. If they don't have not nothing close to your genetic features, it's torture yourself to aspire to look like them. You know what I'm saying? Because you don't look like them. You may say, "I like the way she she dress or he dresses." Cuz style clothing is one thing, but I'm talking about physical features. Find someone who has the physical features that you like, who maintains their body in a nice way. I'm serious. Look at how they dress and ask yourself, what is the difference between me and them? Why they look like that and I look like this? Be real with yourself. Well, it look like they probably go to the gym a little bit more often. Yeah. Yeah, I can see that. Yeah, they they a little bit more slim than I am. Okay, so that's one thing to do. Start going to the gym more often. Okay, now what? Wow, their face is so beautiful. Wow, their skin is so clear. Okay. Okay. Yours, is it? No problem. Skin is fixable. Easy. Easily fixed. So, what you need to do, you go and you look up a dermatologist or an aesthetician. That's like people do facials in your area. And do a consultation. It's usually less than $50. And have them tell you what you need to do to your face so you can get it clear. And if they try to sell you a bunch of products, don't buy the products. Don't buy the products. You ain't got to buy the products. If you ain't got the money, don't buy the products. If you got the money, buy the products. But just let them tell you this. What I think you should do. And then you go ahead and you find products similar to what they got. You know, I'm going to tell you a secret what you can do. Take a picture of the product and then put it in the chat GPT and be like, "Hey, what's a similar product to this that's under $20?" I'm just saying sometimes you got to work in your budget. You know what I'm saying? No shade to the estheticians. Like I said, if they can afford your products, they should buy it. But everybody can't afford it. So what they got was they supposed to stay ugly in the meantime. No, they they need some other [ __ ] You know what I'm saying? Right. I remember when I started um when I started going to the gym, I remember I took a picture of my trainer and I was like, I want to look like this. He looked at the picture. He's like, nah, you ain't going to look like that. I was like, "Why?" He's like, "Because number one, this person is much taller than you. So, their fats distributed differently than yours and muscles distributed differently than yours." So, uh, I see why you like looking like them, but you shorter than them. You're not going to look like them. Second of all, um, look at this. It looks like they probably are taking some kind of injection or something um, some type of chemical to enhance their muscles. Um, from what you told about me, told me about you, you don't want to do that kind of stuff, right? I was like, "Yeah, I don't do that." Okay. Yeah. So, this is probably not a good person. He says, "So why don't you go back to the drawing board, find me somebody who you do look like who looks like they similar body type to yours, but just a better version and then bring that to me." So I then brought the picture back then. I was like, I like this person. They look good and they got a butt like I got, but they more round than mine. Okay, yes, you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. Okay, cool. So what you like about the way they look? I was like, well, I like the way they shoulders look. I like the way they booty look. I like this. Like that. Okay, great. So that's what we can focus on. You see what I'm saying? Right? So, long story short to the young man, because I'm answering this question such as tell, because I know a lot of y'all have the same question. Why isn't approaching me? What's going on with me? Change the spaces you're in to be around people who are going to be more open to approaching you. Number one. And number two, making sure that you are marketing the package of who you are in the best way possible. Investing resources in doing that. If that means sacrificing the money you're spending in other areas so you can spend it on yourself, do that, baby. All right? Your money is best invested in you. You don't need all this extra stuff. Look good. When you look good, you'll attract more money. Trust me, baby. When you look good, you'll attract more money. Okay? Trust me. Trust me on that. Okay?

How do I attract a man who won't be intimidated by my appearance? Only get stared at and then asked how much I get hit on by men online or in person. It's annoying. I'm ready for my person to find me and and might I add, I smile when I'm interested and attracted to men, but they just stare me down in awe. Girl, let me say this, okay? I need you to prepare yourself for this. 80% of the men who stare at you, who you even look at and smile back to, are not going to approach you. 80% of them. And the more attractive you are, that number is probably going to go down a little bit. The majority of men, no matter what you do, they're not going to approach you. They're just not. Maybe because they got somebody at home, maybe because they're just intimidated to the point where they can't work through that. They can't process that. Whatever it may be, they will stare you down, but they won't approach you. It doesn't mean you're not good enough. What it means is you need to change the um change the calculus in your mind on what you expect. For example, I'm in sales, right? I'm in the insurance industry. Um training people on how to sell insurance. We own an insurance agency. Um all that kind of stuff. We sell insurance from our agency as well. With our leads, let's say a batch of leads we see as having a closing ratio of about 30%. So, about three out of every 10 leads is getting closed, right? If you're one of my agents and I give you a batch of 10 leads, if you're expecting that you should be closing 10 of those leads, whenever I hear cars, that's really loud like that. Let me not say that. Um, if you get a batch of um 10 leads and you only close three of them without knowing that the closing ratio is really three out of 10, right? meaning three out of 10 meaning that we really only take you to close three out of 10 of these leads. Then you're going to think you're a failure if you probably close seven. You're like, "I only closed seven out of 10 of them. I should have been able to close all of them." No. Right. Oh, no. I'm sorry. Let me say it in reverse. I said it backwards. If you only close three of them without knowing that the closing ratio is only three, then you're going to think you're a failure, right? But if you know that most people don't close more than three cases out of 10, then you like, "Oh, actually, I'm on target." I bring this up to say this. I think that you need to expect that only two out of 10 men are probably going to approach you or respond to your energy. That's normal. It's just how it is. And for the ones who don't approach you, it's not a missed opportunity. He's probably he could be gay. He could be um questioning. He could be in a relationship. Uh he may be b he may be crazy as hell and he know he crazy so he just he's saving you from him. He could be a lot of different things. He could be intimidated by you, right? It could be any number of things. But stop expecting that more men will approach you. Except that when men approach you, it is not a rare occurrence, but it's not supposed to be a common occurrence. And that's why when they do approach you, it stands out. So, if you want to get your odds up and get your numbers up, like, I want more men to approach me. That way, I can have a better chance of finding what I want, then that means you got to put yourself out there that much more. You got to go out more. You got to put yourself in more spaces. If I know that only three out of every 10 insurance leads that I get will be able to close and I want to close 30 leads this month, right? Then that means that we need to meet with 100 people. Cuz if you know you're going to close three out of 10 and you want to close 30, that means you got to meet with 100 people. If you know you want more options, that means you got to put yourself around more people regularly. That's why when women be like, "I I don't go out that often, but when I do, men don't approach me." Girl, you just explain why men don't approach you. You don't go out that often. There will be plenty of nights you will go out and men will not approach you because nobody in that room is there is the kind of man that who's going to feel confident enough to approach you. Okay? There's nothing wrong with that. That doesn't mean that you that that your dating life is horrible and that nobody wants you. It means you just got to go out more often. Go out more often. Go out more often. Go out more often to put yourself in more spaces so you increase the odds in your favor. Does that make sense? All right. One more question.

And another thing, if a man's intimidated by you, he's intimidated by you. I remember when I used to meet men, I used to avoid giving them my Instagram. So I'm like, "Oh my god, he's going to go to my Instagram." You know, nowadays people ask for Instagram. He's going to go to my Instagram. I mean, you could just see it on some of they go, "Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Are you famous or something?" I used to avoid cuz I not want to deal with that. Just get intimidated. I'm like, "Oh my god, dude." Okay, Shrimpy. You're giving me shrimpy energy. You know what I mean by shrimpy? Um, but now, oh my god, no. I didn't I don't care. I was like, "Here, what's your Instagram? MJ Harris. You want me to me write it for you?" Okay, it's there. and look at them how they react. It's in that moment I know I'm not answering his calls if he reaches out to me. >> Oh wow. >> Mhm. >> Are you Are you famous or something? >> I am. >> Oh wow. You must have a lot of guys who hit on you. I think most attractive people do. Yeah. I'm sure you get attention too. Girl, it is what it is. Thank you for letting me know who you are. No shade, no tea. I'm just is not the one for you. Thank you for revealing it to me before I invested any energy to responding to your messages. God bless. Maybe like I bet I bet I bet you get a lot of attention. I do. Oh, wow. That's crazy. Does that intimidate you? Girl, you know me. I I'm so direct. I'll ask. Does that intimidate you? >> No. No. It don't intimidate me. I'm just saying I don't even know why you'd be interested in somebody like in a dude like me cuz you know. >> Well, baby, if you don't know, I don't know. I thought I was interested in you, but sounds like you talking me out of it. Huh? >> Oh, no. No, no. It ain't even like that. It ain't like that. I just No, it's fine. You said your name was what? Michael. Michael, it's a pleasure to meet you. Could you do me a favor, baby? My bag is right there. Yeah, the Louis purse. Yeah, hand me that, baby. Thank you. It's a pleasure to meet you, Michael. I hope you find what you're looking for. You see where I'm going with that? I think that it's good when a man is intimidated by you because you can eliminate him fac faster. Show me you're intimidated so I can eliminate you faster to get what I actually want. I don't want you if you're intimidated by me. I don't want you. I remember one time I met this guy and I would say I've experienced this in Brazil when I was like actively dating. Um, men would get very intimidated because a I'm from a different country, so I'm a foreigner. I'm from America, which has it sometimes has a negative connotation, but a lot of times it's a very positive connotation. Um, but some guys because I'm from the States and we just have different buying power. One US dollar is like five Brazilian dollars. So, we have a different buying power. Get intimidated. Oh, you got money. You got this. You must not want somebody like me, right? And they could be middle class. Middle class. It's not like they're poor. They're middle class, but they just middle class. The money is just different. It just is what it is, right? Nothing I can do about that. I didn't care. But if he cared, there's nothing I could do about it. Right. I I didn't think you would be interested in someone like me. Well, um I am, or I should say I was, but it sounds to me like we may not be a fit for each other. No. What do you mean? Well, I mean, I barely know your last name, but yet you're focused on how much money comes in and out of my bank account, and I'm not focused on what comes in and out of yours, so I'm not asking for anything. So, it just sounds like we're probably not a good fit for each other. No, no, no, no. It's not like that. I remember one guy when I met him, I said this straight cuz I was getting so frustrated with meeting guys like this, right? So when he met me and I kind of noticed him getting intimidated. Maybe we were out buying something. I remember at a restaurant the bill came I was paying I was paying my part cuz like I was like whatever. It was it wasn't like a sit down kind of situation like you know whatever buying ice cream something like that whatever I was paying my part and I don't know how the topic of money came up but I said something. I was like I said you're aware I'm American right? He's like yeah. I was like okay. I was like, and so just to put out there, so that probably means I have, you know, I mean, I get paid in dollar, right? I was like, does that bother you? No, no, no, no. Cuz I noticed he was uncomfortable. I was like, do you get intimidated? Does that intimidate you? No, no, no, no, no, no. It doesn't. I was like, okay, good. Cuz if it did, I wouldn't be able to um get to know you any further. because if it did, I wouldn't be able to move forward getting to know you. I feel so much stronger operating from that mindset because it opened the door for me to not take it personal when men act inferior and when they act intimidated. He's intimidated because he should be intimidated. Move on to somebody else. If a man is intimidated by you or feels small in your presence, then that's on him. Cuz I'm going to tell you this right now. There's a whole lot of men out here who actually want somebody who's out of their league in a good way. I want somebody who's out of my league. They want somebody who's like out of their league in a good way. They want someone who is like, "Godamn, somebody's like, I don't know why the [ __ ] she chose me, but I'm glad about it. You know how many men are out there who want you [Music] motorcycles? Meanwhile, there are men out here who are intimidated by you because of your beauty, because of your financial success, because of your confidence. girl, please get rid of him quickly so that you can then be open for the kind of man who's like, I I was looking for somebody just like you.

Anyway, y'all, click like, click share, get my book. The actual book is sitting over there, but I'm going to use the little quote card here right here. Um, get the [ __ ] out of your own way. A guide to letting go of the [ __ ] that's holding you back. My good friend Tabitha Brown, I love her to death. She um she gave me an endorsement for my book. I love to have the to um but get my book. You can get it on Amazon or wherever books are sold. Click the link on my Instagram page. If you're in a part of the world where the book is not shipped to or you just want to hear me immediately, just keep in mind we have the audio version you can also get access to as well. And you can get that anywhere in the world. All right, y'all. Have a good one. I'll put this video up on YouTube so you can watch the replay. So, go over there. You can watch it there. All right. Bye.