Transcription
Welcome back to Pearl Media, where truth meets perspective. Today we're diving into another classic Kevin Samuels moment. Let's get into it.
"If you as a woman have to resort to how a man should keep you based solely upon your sex, that's that's anyway."
"Hello. How are you?"
"Hello."
"How old are you?"
"32."
"32. All right. What What are we talking about tonight? Did your mom teach you? What did your mom teach you about relationships?"
"Um, basically to let a man lead but not cook. I She didn't tell me how to cook."
"She She taught you how to let a man lead. So, what to let a man do for you."
"I'm sorry."
"So, she taught you to let a man lead. Or another way of saying that is what to let a man do for you."
"Yeah."
"What does she teach you to do for a man?"
"I mean, basically, I'm not going to not necessarily please him, but make sure he's happy."
"How?"
"I mean, I know how to cook."
"No, no, no. I don't want how. Make him happy. How?"
"I mean, basically making sure that he's happy. Making sure that I'm listening to him. If..."
"He's happy how make making sure he's happy how, man, you already said that you weren't taught how to cook. Okay, fine. Then how else are you? Then how do you propose or how are you taught to make a man happy?"
"I mean, basically by being there, being supportive, making sure that he knows that I'm here for him. But main..."
"What does that look like?"
"I mean it looks like basically giving him affirmations, letting him know that I'm here if he needs anything. I mean helping out with what he needs help with and just basically being sound like a whole lot, man."
"I mean what I mean..."
"Ma'am you said I'm trying to give you to let you say what it was. Whatever affirmations, he can go on Google and Google motivational phrases."
"Yeah, but it's..."
"Hold on. Hold on. Just Why can't you ladies just say I wasn't top nothing? My mama didn't teach you nothing. My mama What did your mother teach you that's special to do for a man?"
"I mean nothing special cuz..."
"Okay, then why should Okay. If nothing spe Hold on, hold on. If nothing, if your mother taught you nothing special to do for a man, why should a man promote you to the highest title possible, wife and mother?"
"I mean, because of myself. Because..."
"No, no, no, no. Intrinsic qualities. See, this is what I mean."
"I'm trying to hold."
"This is a sales pitch. I don't know nothing. My mama didn't teach me nothing. I wasn't even taught to cook. I'm just supposed to be here and my presence is supposed to make you happy. Me just being here affirming you is supposed to make you happy. And the truth is most women were taught to worry about sex. But I'm listening, ma'am. What would your mother What did your mother teach you that you're supposed to do special for a man? meaning meaning that he can only get it from you. He wants to come out of all the women in the world, he wants to keep coming home to you."
"But do you really think that my mother can teach me how to please my man? Like not even..."
"The fact that you're asking that the fact that you're asking that question shows how far modern mothers have failed."
"So you mean to tell me that your what is what is a mother supposed to teach you about a man? I mean..."
"What?"
"What do you think? I'm asking you what do you think? What do you think women are supposed to teach? What do you think older women are supposed to teach younger women with regard to men?"
"With regards to men? Basically to make sure that you're respected in any sense because I mean the stuff that you speak on be truth but I feel like it's for the past generation. This new generation is different."
"No, it's not. We're all human beings."
"That's true. But..."
"Ma'am, what should old what should older women teach younger women with regard to men to make sure we're respected?"
"Yes."
"Okay. How?"
"Just in general. We..."
"No, no, no. Be specific. Give me some specifics."
"In the house. outside the house because..."
"How how should you give me some specifics, ma'am? Respected in what? In the house as general..."
"As far as when you leave the house, meeting other people, respecting letting people know that you're in the relationship or whatever the case may be. People think that..."
"No, no, no."
"Go ahead."
"The way you show a man respect is you let other man know he's I'm with him."
"Say that again. You..."
"I'm trying to understand what you're saying. You're saying the way you show your man respect is when you out and about, you let other men and other people know I'm that's my man."
"I'm saying just in general when you're out, you let people know cooking. Like most men don't do that. You can be in the house one way, you can be getting taken care of, cooked."
"See what See, guys, I want you to understand something. I'm asking a very simple question. And the fact that this woman is struggling to to make something up other than just saying, 'My mama didn't teach me [ __ ] She didn't teach you nothing. And I don't know nothing. I'm just making I'm just making it up as I go along. And I'm just saying what I think sounds good.'"
"No, I just don't think that that's true. Then as though I told you I..."
"But no, no, but do you Okay. Okay. Do you think a father..."
"Okay."
"Can teach a son what he's supposed to do for his woman?"
"Can he?"
"No. Do you think a father's job is to teach his son what his son is supposed to do for his woman?"
"I mean, I think a father's job is to teach a son how to respect women, how to treat women. So his girlfriend..."
"A father's job is to teach a son how to do things for his woman."
"Yes."
"All right. If you understand that very simple line, then what is a mother's job to teach a daughter what she's supposed to do for her man?"
"Okay. Well, then when you put it like that, when you read like that, yes, she probably should. But..."
"She probably should what? She probably should teach her daughter how to treat a man. Yes."
"Yes. And what does your mother teach you?"
"She didn't did she teach you?"
"Well, she didn't teach me specifically how to..."
"Thank you. Thank you. That's what I'm saying. See, the fact that I'm even the fact that part of the reason I get frustrated is because sometimes I feel like you ladies come in here and act like you don't know what I'm talking about when it's a very simple. I say, it's a very simple concept, man. You teach you're supposed to teach your children. You're supposed to teach your children how they act in the world, how to act when they go to in some and you're also teaching your children how to behave. But there are roles. Do do you think your gr do you think women of old grandmothers and great-grandmothers taught their daughters how to cook? Yes or no?"
"Yes."
"Before Before fast food, so that's something you do for a man."
"No."
"Yes, it is."
"No fast no fast food. I know how to cook. I said cook. I So cooking is something you do for a man."
"Yes. I just said I..."
"Cleaning. Cleaning cleaning a home. Keeping a home clean."
"Of course."
"When a man was out working, who's the the home was her responsibility. The world was his responsibility. But still, it's still pretty much the same way. We're still human beings. And see, this is what I mean. Women are women act like, 'Well, it's 2021. All the rules are gone. I'm not supposed to do nothing for a man. We're just supposed to treat each other like human beings and equals.' But who cooks for the kids?"
"I don't believe that."
"Who cooks for the kids?"
"Me."
"What'd you learn how to cook?"
"Just experimenting. Actually,"
"When I taste and I experiment."
"How many kids do you have?"
"One."
"Do you think it would have been better if your mama would have taught you how to cook?"
"I mean, no."
"I told you they can never hold their mothers responsible."
"I'm not..."
"Never hold their mothers responsible. Mama, we can never question mama. Mama can fail, but we can never question them. No, you as a daughter supposed to get out here by trial and error learning how to do something versus your grown ass adult mama teaching you so you don't have to make those mistakes. Do you think that's how it should work, woman? No. That means me questioning mama. We don't question mama."
"No, I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that."
"Should your mother should women should Should should mothers teach their daughters how to cook?"
"She definitely should have. Did..."
"Did your mother teach you how to cook?"
"No, not that I..."
"Did your mother fail you in that regard?"
"Yes. And cooking? Yes."
"You didn't say it. My mother failed me when teaching how to cook."
"I said as soon as I got on that my mother didn't teach you how to cook."
"She didn't teach you how to cook. What did she teach you how to do?"
"She taught me how to be me to be respectful to get my education so that I can nice man."
"Get your education so you can do what?"
"Attract a nice man. How to What does having an education to do with attracting a nice man?"
"I'm just saying if you go to..."
"No, no, no, no, no. What does having an education do with attracting a nice man? She taught me to be. She taught me how to be me. Taught me how to be respectful. Taught me how to get my education. That's when everybody all the hearts went up cuz that's the only thing y'all been taught. Go to school."
"People meet their significant other or their in college. And..."
"Where'd you meet your husband?"
"No, I'm not married."
"Surprise. That's not not a surprise."
"No, it's it's really not because y'all aren't taught. What I'm trying to show is y'all aren't talk. Stop. What y What I'm trying to show is you guys, your mothers don't teach you what we who men are, what we like, and what to do. They teach you guys how to go be men. They teach you, 'Girl, go get a job so you could be middle class and work paycheck to paycheck and make a baby outside of wedlock and live paycheck to paycheck cuz that's better than being somebody's wife cuz you might have to do something for that dude.' This is why we have 80% of our children born outside of wedlock and so many of our women have really no clue on how to be wise. But do you really think if I knew how to cook? Well, I know how to cook, but if I would have learned from my mother, that would have changed the outcome."
"Oh, yes. Cuz that's cuz that's the generation. That's what you come from. Go back in your Hold on, hold on, hold on, man. Hold on. Go back in your family album. Go back in your family album all the way back to as early. Do you know where your family album is?"
"When you say family album, do you mean like my family tree?"
"Your family album. You know your mama. You know your grandmother?"
"Yes."
"You know your grandmother's grandmother? I mean your grandmother's mother?"
"Yes. But she's passed. Yes."
"Of course she has. Do you Okay. So you know your your mother and then your grandmother. Do you know your grandmother's mother?"
"Yes."
"Do you know your grandmother's grandmother?"
"No."
"Do you know where all these family photos are?"
"In Virginia."
"Uh-huh."
"Do you have pictures of your mother?"
"Yes."
"Do you have pictures of your grandmother?"
"Yes."
"Do you have pictures of your grandmother's mother?"
"No, she does though. I've seen them."
"But you don't. So these women don't even have the family album. So all the family has become to so many black people are the women, their mama and big mama. Everything before that, all that lineage and history, you turned your back on all of it because if you knew what those family albums were, you could go back and see what family looks like. And those women, they didn't go to college. They weren't worried about PhDs and everything else. They most didn't even graduate from high school, but they were wise and mothers and the very woman you are today and everything we claim to be so proud of in the black community. Those uneducated country sharecropping and cotton people learn. But now we got all these college educated women. We a bunch of baby mamas and don't even know what a family album is. Ever go to a family reunion?"
"Yes."
"What age were you approximately the last family reunion you went to?"
"29."
"Who who organized it?"
"My aunt."
"How old and what how approximately how old is your aunt?"
"She's about to be 70."
"Right. When your aunt dies, cuz your aunt's a baby boomer. And that's the last generation of people who organize family reunions. When when that when those group of people die, who going to organize a family uh reunion if the family albums in Virginia somewhere?"
"It's so funny you asked that because mom said the same thing that basically..."
"My point is my point is black women would talk to be individuals."
"I mean I wouldn't necessarily say individuals but wouldn't you want the your spouse or your mate to be educated? I mean would don't you want that?"
"You have an education. Everybody in this country has a compulsory education. What is your degree in?"
"Say that again."
"What is your college degree in?"
"Elementary education."
"Ma'am, no disrespect. Really? No disrespect intended."
"Go ahead."
"But that ain't really nothing."
"I know."
"So,"
"I didn't know I didn't know that."
"My point is But but but my point is you talked about this education like it's like it's a a degree in physics or or or an engineering. Hold on, ma'am. Hold on. What you got in the high school arguably arguably what you got in high school was enough to teach in elementary school?"
"True or false?"
"That could be true."
"No. Is it true or false, ma'am? Cuz I know when I was in high school, I..."
"No, that's true. I..."
"Okay. So, so, so because somebody put up because we put up schools and universities, they said even though you graduated with a high school diploma and you can tutor and help your younger siblings without work, you need to go through this program over here. And so many of our women worry about these damn degrees, acting as though, hey, look at my college degree in elementary education. Doesn't that make me more appealing as a potential wife? No, it doesn't. We don't care about your degrees because for the most part, most women's degrees are useless. They're in humanities or some sort of education, communications, marketing, history, psychology, criminal justice, uh what were the other ones? It's not in engineering, accounting, uh medicine. It's not in anything that's going to put you in the top 10% of earners. It just comes with a credit card. It comes with a debt. But so many women, my education, my education. When do men swipe left or right on tend to saying, 'Oh, I need to find me a an NBA or a PhD.' That's not what they do. We said, 'Your mama didn't teach you that. Your mama didn't teach you who we are. The things she taught you have nothing to do with who we who men are. So my cooking."
"Yes. Men want women who can cook. Yes."
"But I can cook. Does it matter if that I learned it on my own?"
"Yes, it does. No, we want women who men want women because do honestly you learning on your own is where'd you get the recipes from? Let's start there."
"No, I'm saying I learned on my own by trial and error. taught yourself and taste it."
"So you think do you have a daughter or a son?"
"A daughter."
"So you going to make your daughter So you think your daughter needs to learn how to cook on her own? You're not going to teach her either?"
"Well, I'm going to teach her."
"Why? Why?"
"I'm going to teach her."
"Well, why?"
"Cuz I just feel like she got to learn from somewhere."
"No. Okay, let..."
"Let me let me let me go back then because I've seen my mother cook, but it I mean it wasn't nothing special that I had to like..."
"Special not special or not's not the point. See, one of the ways women show care and love for their family is through the most important thing, what their family consumes. That's way love is brought into the house. Your mama didn't teach you how to love cuz she didn't teach you how to cook."
"Really? I'm talking."
"Ma'am, did you not watch the movie Soul Food?"
"Oh, yeah. The most important is go back to Sister Shahaz Ali talking about how she got so much push back for trying to get black people off of pork knowing that what we put in our kids' bodies in our in our family's bodies brain development immune system everything else. So if your mama didn't teach you how to cook you can make an argument your mama didn't teach you how to love. But then I asked what else did she teach you? And you the only thing that I really believe what you said is she taught me to get an education"
"And her education your education for this woman I'm talking to is an elementary school something that ain't much."
"Okay. But but the thing is if you go back and look at the women who came before your mother, they were better women because they knew how to cook, clean, sew things around the house because they had to. Modern women are lazy. Air conditioning, washing machines, dishwashers. Y'all don't have to do nothing. So the few things that you should still do, but even do that."
"But I can do all those things. Sadly, I didn't sadly I didn't learn how to cook from my mother, but cleaning all..."
"Your mother teach you. But again, what did your mother teach you to do for a man?"
"No. Well, since you add those things, my mother did teach me how to really clean and get down with the..."
"How long your mother and father been married?"
"My mother and father were married if I'm 32. Well, actually, they're still married. They're just separated, but they actually broke up when my brother was two. Well, separated when my brother was two."
"So, where did your mother tell on a scale from 1 to 10, how much of a priority did your mother tell you to make marriage and children? And when I say children, I mean children as a result of marriage."
"That wasn't never a conversation we had. I can't see."
"So that would be what..."
"The zero,"
"Right?"
"So your mother told you as far as marriage and children, no priority, zero, no conversation. Just like the previous young lady, y'all don't get taught."
"But that doesn't want..."
"Excuse me. You don't get taught. Okay. You said your mother your mother's top priority. so far was your education."
"Yes."
"And your education is being an individual alone. The things that make you a a a mate, a companion, there's no focusing on the cooking, the cleaning, the what to do for the man that's supposed to be next to you. Which is why you're struggling to even answer the question. Well, she I I'm just going I'm supposed to just be here and support it because instead of just instead of just saying, you know what, I've never thought about this. What did my mother sit down and tell me? Baby girl, when you are blessed throughout the when when cuz your mama married, right?"
"They're separated, but they're..."
"But just like the previous girl, her mother was married, too. And these selfish ass married women are not teaching their daughters anything."
"She didn't teach you. Guess what? Only one in four black women are lucky enough to find a husband. So when you do get This is how you make sure you find a man. And this is how you make sure you position yourself to be somebody's wife. This is how you make sure you stay somebody's wife. And this is how you keep a man. She taught you none of that. So, it's no surprise that women like yourself walk out into the world doing exactly what you're taught. Men are cool. Men are there to to to kind of kick it with, but your most important thing is get your education, girl. So, that's what you focus on. You got that education. Then, after you get your education, life starts."
"How is your child?"
"I'm sorry."
"How is your child?"
"One."
"Thank you. After you get your education, your life starts. Then you can work one or two or three, four years. And then you look around like, well, damn, I thought this education and all this stuff, life is pretty much boring. Because most people have a family, a husband, and a family that makes life worth living. And this is why we have so many baby mamas who are college educated because after you got your last attainment well I can have a baby but I can't get a husband."
"I wouldn't necessarily say that."
"Okay. Did your does your why you why didn't you and your child's father married?"
"My child's father passed before she was born. He didn't get killed. So he wasn't no thug or anything like that."
"But how many children does he have?"
"Just her."
"Okay. Why didn't you guys get married before you got pregnant?"
"I mean, we were young. We were high school sweethearts on and..."
"Your child is one year old."
"Mhm."
"Don't tell me high school sweethearts and you're in your 30s. I asked a very simple question. Marry before you carry. It matters."
"It does. It does."
"Why didn't you guys marry before making a baby?"
"We were young. We broke up."
"You were not young, ma'am."
"No, we weren't together."
"No, no, no, no, ma'am. You got pregnant around 30 years old. Don't tell me you're young."
"No, I'm saying prior."
"30 years."
"What?"
"You said why didn't we get married prior? We weren't..."
"No, I'm asking you why you didn't get married before you gapped your legs open and let them shoot up the clothes. You pregnant."
"I don't know. He didn't ask."
"Why didn't you make it a requirement before you made a baby?"
"Because we weren't there. We weren't together. We..."
"Oh my god."
"We having relation. That's why I want you guys to understand they women black women are it's a bigger deal to be a wife than a mama. I'll have your baby, but your wife Oh, we're not there yet."
"No, I would have been his wife if he would have asked. But..."
"Ma'am, why? No, no, no, no. See, I don't care about him asking. My question is this. Why did you allow yourself to be in a position to get pregnant before a man committed to you? I don't care what he did or did not do. Why did you do that? 33 forms of birth control. That's your choice. You had unprotected sex, college graduate."
"Yes."
"You know what the French toast is going on. Stop playing. This is why I get frustrated with y'all. Y act goddamn stupid when you know what I'm saying is 2+2 is 4 and you don't want to be accountable and the answer is I didn't make marriage a priority because I really didn't care one way or another."
"No, I'm not saying that but I can't."
"Did you want to marry him?"
"I would have."
"That's not what was the question I asked you."
"Yes."
"Did you want to marry him?"
"Yes."
"Why didn't you make marriage a requirement before pregnancy?"
"I didn't want to push nothing on nobody. If they didn't bring it up, I'm not going to bring it up. We were friends though at the time. Just going back and forth, back and forth. Like it was kept being friends, friends, friends. So I did make it a priority. It's the truth."
"Are you going to say something?"
"There's nothing to say, man. This is crazy."
"I mean, that's true."
"Ma'am, you're 30 You're 30 plus years old."
"Mhm."
"You're not a You're not You And when I asked, the first thing they try to do is this young excuse. You're a grown woman with a college degree."
"Mhm."
"And the fact of the matter is, whether you want to admit it or not, you were not taught to prioritize a man and a marriage and a relationship. You said it 10 minutes ago. your mother didn't teach you. So it getting pregnant when you found when you saw that you were pregnant cuz you knew you were having unprotected sex and you knew you weren't on birth control. When you got pregnant, there was nothing ahead of time teaching you, girl, don't get pregnant before you get married. See, I grew up in that generation where they told the girls, 'Do not get pregnant.' But your generation is sitting around having sex and and then saying, 'Well, if I get pregnant, I got a college degree. I can take care of the kid on my own.'"
"I didn't plan on taking care of her on my own. I'm not And who's to say that we wouldn't have got married."
"See, see guys, this is what I mean. This is I want you to understand how we started from the beginning. Can't be accountable. Ma'am, this is one of the biggest problem. This is one of the biggest No ma'am. No. One of the biggest problems is just admit my mama didn't teach me how to prior did not tell me to make relationships and marriage a priority before I gave a baby."
"Okay, I can admit that."
"Okay. So, when you got pregnant, you didn't go say, uh, we need to get married or else I'm terminating this pregnancy."
"No, I didn't say that. No, I mean,"
"So thank you. Thank you people. So, thank you. This is why I This is why when I deal with women who who have children, I don't treat them as victims. They can make all the choices. 33 forms of birth control, especially..."
"Why."
"Uh do you ever plan on getting married one day?"
"Yes."
"Really? So you look they'll be looking for a stepfather?"
"Yes. Yes. What?"
"I'm not looking for a step."
"Ma'am, if you if you're looking to get if you're looking to get if you if you get married, he'll be a stepfather. And a man who's going to be a stepfather going ask these questions."
"Okay, that's fine. My ultimate point is women who move like you do, we're taught not to prioritize relationships. Okay. But then how do you expect to get the highest honor a man can give a woman when you already are over 30 with another man's kid? So, is it too late to be taught is what you're saying?"
"I mean, not..."
"Okay. You haven't been taught what to do for a man. You haven't been taught to prioritize you. You Okay, ma'am."
"I mean, but..."
"Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, you asked a question."
"Okay."
"You got to ask yourself, if a man is looking for a wife, why would he pick a woman? If if I'm looking for a wife, why would I pick a woman who doesn't even know any of this stuff? I'm gonna pick a woman who's going to be an asset."
"You realize that she's going to she needs to be something for me."
"But I know these things. I'm just My point was just that I didn't learn it from my mother. I know how to cook. I know how to clean. I know how to do all these things. My I just didn't learn it from my mother. But you're basically telling me if I..."
"I know, but I'll go back to the beginning, ma'am. What What have you learn what is a what is a woman supposed to do for a man? You just said I'm supposed to be his I'm just let him lead..."
"His. No, I said that's what my mother taught me. But being I'm 32 years old, I've learned different things. You saying like support..."
"All right, let's go down that path then."
"Like it's going path. Why Why do you want to get Why would you want to get married now?"
"I always wanted to get married in general, but I don't want to force it on a man. I don't want to like come in like, 'Oh, well, you have to marry me by this age or do this or do that.' Like..."
"Why would you want to get married now?"
"I want to get married in general, not now."
"Why? Why?"
"Because I want that father and mother role in the house and showing my child a loving environment. They can have that."
"But why?"
"Because I had that."
"Okay. But why? That but still you haven't given a real good why."
"Because I want it. Because I want it. What you keep saying is I want it. Why? Cuz I want it. Why? Why? Cuz I had it. Why?"
"I said cuz I want my child to see it. I want her to be..."
"Okay. Well, if that's the case, see there it goes right there. If you want your child to see it, then didn't it make sense to have it before you have a baby?"
"It does make sense. So man,"
"You cannot ask. Your daughter can't have what you had cuz you were born in a marriage."
"Okay. But..."
"She can't have what you had. You're a baby mama. She can't have that. And now similar."
"No, she can't."
"Why?"
"Cuz the man ain't her biological father."
"But she can still love. Okay. Okay. This is This is where it starts to get damn dumb. Damn dumb, man. You can't see love. Jesus Christ."
"What's wrong? I'm not understanding. Why can't she see even though it's not?"
"Because that's my And see guys, when when when they're not taught to think about relationships, they think relationships are just magical thing. It's magical thinking. It's like relationships are hard work. They're a job. And all of a sudden, it's like, well, she can go get love like I experienced from my biological father, from a man who ain't is no kin to her. Uh, let me show you a video that I was posted the other day."
"All right."
"Ora Duke Jackson channel. That was a 55 year old man who married his uh 18year-old who used to be his uh stepdaughter or his godaughter. I just was reading about that."
"Ma'am, no man that meets your child is going to have the same attachment as her biological father would have."
"That's true."
"See, they don't. And my point in having this long extended conversation is to show you you don't have to be angry and and ratchet and loud. My point is black women have just not been taught to prioritize relationships or the importance of relationship. relationship to so many black women is just like an accessory. It's an addon. It's an upgrade. It's not a requirement. And usually when it comes along, that's supposed to come in the most ideal fashions. This man is supposed to come through and accept you and another man's child like his own. So you can emulate or mirror the experience you had when that ain't your that's not this situation. If you want to give your daughter what you had, you should have been a wife before you were a mother. That's the only way to give her what you had. Do you want any more children?"
"I'm open to it."
"Do you want any more children?"
"I'm open to it."
"Do you want any more children?"
"Yes."
"How many more?"
"Probably just want a boy."
"So a stepfather comes along and the best he can get is one kid out of it. And see this is what I try to talk to you ladies and I just let you understand that I use the term magical thinking. You guys think think of relationships. I mean it's like I think it's fair to say this conversation you have to realize that it's like well then he's right. I really haven't seriously considered relationship marriage. I really haven't put any real thought into it. Even some of the questions I'm asking, not that hard, but I just haven't thought about it. But I know you when I dream, it's something I say I want. But that dream is just a picture. What I ask you ladies about is the daytoday stuff. Stop doing whatever you do with your microphone, please."
"Oh, I was trying to set it up so I can stop."
"That's making noise. Okay. You guys, you guys think about the the wedding and the and the ceremony. You don't think about the the 17th Tuesday afterwards. I mean, being a you expect a man to come along and risk all this stuff. It's a lot of risk for a man to be married today."
"But I'm open to have more kids with my husband if he wants more kids. I was just saying in general I would like a boy."
"I get it. But it comes right down to this. Marriage is something. Um, okay. This is going to be a hard question. I'm going let you know up front. Um, for the kind of man you want to marry, would you say that you're very competitive on that marriage market?"
"No."
"Okay. If if you had to let if you had to rank your your perceived level of competitiveness against other women on a scale from one to 10, what would you like your level of competitiveness on the marriage market?"
"I'll say a five."
"Five."
"Yeah. Because I mean I know..."
"50/50."
"Yeah. Cuz I know most guys would prefer a woman without children. I I was without a child for 31 years. And..."
"How tall are you?"
"I'm sorry."
"How tall are you?"
"5'11"."
"Your size?"
"Uh 10."
"How much you weigh last time you weighed yourself?"
"203."
"Look at my Instagram pics. I I have pajamas. My my point is, do you want do you want a man at least as tall as you are?"
"Yes. I would love a guy taller than me."
"Right. Uh and what state do you live in?"
"Excuse me."
"What state do you live in? Sorry."
"DC."
"DC. Uh okay. So, uh, in order to have another kid, do you want to have to work to pay significant bills after you're pregnant with the next child?"
"I mean, part time."
"Part time."
"What percentage, if you were married, if you were married, what percentage of the overall family financial load do you want to have to be responsible for for your lifetime?"
"Just the utilities. I mean, I would want..."
"What percentage? So, what percentage of the overall family financial loan?"
"Like 20%."
"That's more than utilities."
"Oh, well then like 5% then. Okay. Um, in order to have a family of four in DC, how much would a how much would a man need to make to quote to have a a to be able to afford a wife that paid around 5% of the utilities to have a middle class, upper middle class life, to be able to afford high public school, maybe private school, college when kids need it? How much would how much would an annual income need to be for that?"
"Probably like 85,000 plus. $85,000 for four people."
"I mean, when they're younger."
"No, ma'am. No, no, ma'am. Four. No. $85,000 for four people in DC. No."
"I I mean, I don't want to live in DC, but I know..."
"$85,000 ain't enough for four people nowhere."
"Okay."
"I mean, what kind do you want to live in a home?"
"Yes."
"What kind of car do you want to drive when you're about 45 years old? You said when I'm how old?"
"About 45 years old. What kind of car do you want to drive?"
"I prefer trucks. Probably a Suburban or..."
"Mhm. And that's about how much How much is the Suburban?"
"Like $45,000."
"And uh if you have two more kids, so each kid going to have their own room."
"Yes."
"And then you have the mom and dad room, guest room. So you going to have what? At least five bedroomedroom house."
"Yes."
"Mhm. How much you find what state you want to live in? Probably I'll probably live in Maryland."
"Maryland. Part of Maryland."
"Buoy."
"Mhm. How much would a five bedroomedroom a five bedroomedroom house cost in a nice suburban area?"
"Probably like 500,000."
"Uhhuh. And how you going to get there with $85,000 in in a suburban?"
"I mean, that's what I said. I I would I would prefer..."
"How much would an annual income need to be, though, to have a $500,000 home in Suburban? Is anything else?"
"Annual. All total. We're Yeah, we're looking at like at least 100."
"How much all to..."
"It's looking more like $100,000 when you add..."
"$100,000. It ain't ma'am. No, it's more than that."
"How much do you make?"
"I only make like 52,000."
"Ma'am, that means that means twice what you make. You could afford a a man and two grown and two children, their cars, their college. So they never had ticket. Just double your income. You could afford a $500,000 home, a Suburban, his car, and all other stuff. You mean you can do that? Double your income?"
"I mean, I said I will work."
"No, ma'am. I'm asking for the total family income annually."
"Oh, well, the whole family in Oh, shoot. Well, then like $150,000 then if me and his combined because like I said, I would..."
"Okay, so um let's do this. This is this is and and why I'm going through this example is because when you ladies aren't taught to prioritize relationship to marriage, the math [ __ ] you up. Y'all really just have no idea how much it costs."
"I mean, one year ma'am, you got a one-year-old baby. Do you live in a house or an apartment?"
"An apartment,"
"Right, and you are barely and you are just getting and you're doing okay."
"Yeah."
"With with a one year old, we're talking about having two children and you only working 5% of the time, enough to pay for 5% of the bills. That means you're effectively not working $150,000. You you couldn't afford a $500,000 home, man. You're talking about $300,000. This is what I mean. And and I'm being passionate because it's like we're talking about education, right? But what good is education if our women can't even really family plan? Y don't think about this stuff, you know? It's like, well, I'm just thinking about right now the baby's young and we can live here, but at the end of the day, I want to drive a Suburban and have a five bedroomedroom home in Buoie. Uh-huh. And then I'm asking how much it's going to cost. It's like, well, I don't know. I don't know. Cost of living calculator in Buoie in Buoie, Maryland. Buouie, Maryland. Right. Buoy, Maryland is 128% of the cost of living. Housing is 150%. So in Atlanta, in Atlanta to provide that middle class life to where kids could go to college and not have any debt, all this other kind of stuff, you're talking right around $275,000 a year for a $500,000 home."
"You, ma'am,"
"You go ahead. Even if we reduce it to a quarter of a million, you're still talking about a man making and if you adjust for the cost of living, you're still talking about over 300,000 almost $350,000. Well, let's just drop it. Let's just drop it to 200,000. Uh what percentage of men in this country earn over $200,000?"
"None that I know."
"What percentage? Probably less than 10%."
"Give me the number. Give me Give me a ballpark."
"Probably 12%."
"Closer to 4%."
"Wow."
"4%. So a man, what percentage of men in this country are over 6 feet tall?"
"That is probably like around 4%. No, it's 10%. But for the kind of man you're talking about, a man over six feet tall earning over six figures, you're talking about roughly 3% of black men. Three 3%. And this is where it goes off the rails. a 3% black man. 3% over six feet tall over six figures. And at the kind of money you're talking about, you're talking closer to 1%. Ma'am, what is a 50? What is a woman who says she's in the dating marriage market? She written she puts herself at a five out of 10 on the competitiveness. When does a woman like that ever get a top 1% man? It'll be rare, but I believe it can happen."
"I believe it can happen."
"This is why I would never and this is why people keep asking me why do I do this? Because you saw the painstaking level I went through and I'm talking to a woman who talks about education and the numbers. According to the numbers, ma'am, you believe?"
"Well, according to the numbers, why do you believe it can happen? Because in today's society, guys are not necessarily going for the most, like you said, most educated or the most fit and all that. They're going off of personality and meeting new people. And I, like I said, I can cook and I can clean. I believe I have the qualities to make a good wife. And..."
"Ma'am, you're at five. You almost Okay. On a scale from zero on one to 10, you can't use seven. Where would you rake your looks? Fresh face out of the shower. Your natural hair."
"A 10."
"Your face?"
"Yes."
"A 10. I'm always going to give myself a 10. I'm not going to never give myself."
"All right. So, uh, there we go. Right there, people. That's all you see all the hearts people losing. See, uh, you can you can cap all you want to, but you're not you're not an international supermodel. you're not an international and I'm just trying to ask you so up until this point I feel like you have been pretty reasonable but now if you want to do that I think we should probably end it because I don't I don't play those games I'm doing something for a good reason I'm trying to be helpful but man you and Rihanna walk into the room don't nobody confuse you not a 10"
"You're not a 10."
"You're not a 10."
"You're not a 10 but but that's the point but that's a 10 you're out of 10."
"Okay. Rihanna is beautiful though. But..."
"Granted, but on a scale from 1 to 10, you can't use seven. What do you rate your face?"
"Okay. I'll give a eight. I'll give a eight. Then..."
"You put yourself up there with Beyonce. Beyonce's an eight. Kelly Roland's a nine. Rihanna's a 10. Hell, Sweetie is an adjustable six."
"Sweetie is a six."
"An adjustable six."
"Sweetie is gorgeous though without..."
"Uh-huh. When was the last time you had a guy with suicide doors rolling up trying to marry you?"
"No."
"Okay. When was the last time your ex your your child's father, what did he do for a living?"
"He worked for a maintenance supervisor."
"Maintenance supervisor. So he's a middle class worker, right?"
"Mhm."
"Ma'am, due respect, the a woman who's 8, nine or 10, they don't get middle class maintenance supervisors."
"Beautiful people."
"Ma'am. Ma'am, we're talking about you."
"Okay."
"You've been you your entire life."
"Yeah."
"You call yourself an eight."
"Yes."
"No."
"If Sweetie is a..."
"Ma'am, you're not..."
"I think Ma'am Ma'am, you're beneath that number. You're not above that number."
"That's what I'm saying. If you think Sweetie is a six and I think..."
"Beyonce is Beyonce is an eight, Kelly Ruins a nine. Rihanna is a 10. you're not on those levels. And I said, 'Sweetie, is an adjustable six men. You are giving your you came in here talking like you're like you're up here.' And I'm just asking, do..."
You actually have a real-world estimation of it? You walk through the world. No one. You don't get 8 or 10 outcomes from people. That's not what happens, man. Do you know where you actually rank as far as how you look? That's all I'm asking.
>> Obviously, I don't. So you can enlighten me since >> I give you a I would give you actually ma'am I would give you a 56.
>> Okay.
>> You're average to cute.
>> Okay.
>> That's not bad. But when you got yourself way up here, rankings matter.
>> They like >> Okay. But where would an average to cute woman who's five almost 6 feet tall and 200 lb with a one-year-old be able to land a top 1% man?
>> You never know. You You can't help who >> Thank you guys. And see that's why and that's why I don't give a [ __ ] because no matter what you do, it's always you never know. It could happen.
>> Can I man? What we do know is, ma'am, what we do know, that ain't you? Men who have the kind of money you're talking about, they have options.
>> A man who is over 6 feet tall earning the kind of money you're talking about, he has options. And what kind of And what kind of things does that man want from a woman? Does he Do you think those men want to be stepfathers?
>> No.
>> Okay. Do you think those kind of men want women who are 200 pounds?
>> Guys like big girls.
>> Do you think those men when you go when you see men with the kind of money we're talking about, do you see them out with women who are 200 lb that ain't thick? That's fat.
>> I don't think I'm fat. But I mean, I get what you're saying. Do do men are making the kind of money you making when you have all these women who who around this man?
>> Do they go for the women they go for the women who are 200 lb?
>> No, they go for the >> So why do you feel like it? Well, so what makes you the the the the needle in the the diamond in the rough?
>> I'm not saying I'm a diamond in a rough. I'm >> I you I said where in the world does a woman with your stats get the kind of man with this stats and you said well today's age anything could happen. So if that's the case why do you think it could happen for you?
>> Because I feel like me personally I have a lot of good qualities. If you just going off appearance, I don't even think that matters.
>> Ma'am, ma'am, you may have a lot of good qualities, but so do the women that these men want, and they're much more attractive and childless and learn how to do something and actually were taught what to do for a man. See, you you ladies always put yourselves out here and say like, you're the best on the like you're the best product on the lot. I mean, is that what you're really saying? that that that a woman who's that nobody's better than you cuz he can only have one. So, he's going to pick you over the other one. And so, that's what I that's what I do on my platform. I try to let women understand you can dream and say what you want, but these men have options.
>> That's true.
>> And ain't no men that we talk about and and the reality of your life. Due to respect, the reality of your life, your lived existence, what you know is you are a baby mama from a guy who was your high school sweetheart and he was a maintenance something. Maintenance what?
>> Supervisor.
>> Is that like a maintenance man or what is that? I don't know what that means.
>> It's basically like he supervised everyone else in the maintenance department.
>> Like in the an apartment complex in the building. What?
>> No, Metro is the subway.
>> Okay. Okay. All right. So a a a blue collared blue collar worker >> and that's what I would expect from a woman who is an average looking woman. Average and cute looking women get average blue collar men.
>> But that that's >> ma'am. And that's and that's how it's always been. And and and only in the last 30 years have average women started to have these outrageous dreams about six figures, six feet tall men who going to come make everything that ain't you.
>> But he see this is what I don't understand.
>> Give take all that away. I've seen women that well if you said I'm a six. I've seen people that I think better than so had to be less numbers that are married or whatever the case may be.
>> And do you know these people personally?
>> Yeah. I mean >> they're married to whom?
>> They're married to their significant other. I don't know.
>> No, but is their significant other 6 feet tall and $200 and some thousand or more?
>> No, they're not. Then that's all we're talking about, ma'am.
>> Oh, I thought the goal was marriage.
>> Well, no, but you but how you But marriage is one thing, but see, I learned long time ago. You ladies don't know what you mean by marriage. That's why I asked you about the lifestyle. You want to have at least one more kid at best, but you also want to live in a house that you could never afford. You could never afford a $500,000 home ever.
>> Not bad right out, but that's what you have a mortgage for. I can pay a mortgage. I'm not trying. I mean, if I go buy a house, >> you get a $500,000 home and a $45,000 suburban on an elementary educator salary.
>> Once I get married and I get >> No, ma'am. I'm saying you >> Oh, not once you get married on your you on your own, what you were raised to be an elementary educator. You could never afford a $500,000 home on your own. a suburban on your own. At best, you going to get a small home and a midsize car living paycheck to paycheck like every other middle class person in this country. And then if you were to deal with a maintenance supervisor, you guys get yourself together, but you don't expect the maintenance supervisor to put you in a $500,000 home. You're just supposed to move out of your apartment and move to a home. My point is the lifestyle that you ladies envision is far past your sexual marketplace value. And then when somebody lays it out that this is how men think. This is how men work. This is how men operate. Well, whatever. It could happen for me. When was the last time a man that was making that kind of money approached you? Never. What kind of job would a man What kind of career would a man need to be making to earn a quarter of a million dollars or more annually? What are some professions?
>> Probably a doctor.
>> What kind of doctor?
>> A neurosurgeon. But see, I wouldn't even >> ma'am, unless I'll ask you the question. What kind of professions? A neurosurgeon. What else?
>> I really just feel like only doctors make that kind of money or lawyers. So again, so in order to make the kind of money you're talking, a man would need to have an elite profession.
>> But you, >> ma'am, let's just stop right there. In order to make the kind of money, to have the kind of lifestyle you're talking about to where you only had to work to pay 5% of the family bills, a man will have to have an elite profession, which makes him an elite level man. You're not an elite level woman
>> because of my job and I >> because of who you are. All of it.
>> But see, >> your looks, your height, your weight, just everything. Your software.
>> Why am I >> This is why this is why April quit. Because you ladies just won't get it. You expect I know these men. I'm in rooms with these men and I'm going tell you, they don't come in rooms with women who talk like you. But see, I don't want some I mean, not saying you, but I don't want someone of your stature cuz I feel like those guys are the busiest and they're not going to be able to be home.
>> It's not doesn't matter if you want them or not, you couldn't get them.
>> Okay, that's fine, too.
>> But then, but but then how can you get the kind of lifestyle you're talking about?
>> It's not unattainable without >> How do you get the Okay. How do you get the lifestyle you're talking about without the money?
>> I can have that lifestyle like how how >> for me to be working in for my future.
>> How do you get How do you get a 500 that How do you get a lifestyle of a $500,000 home or suburban and a and an income of around $300,000 on an elementary educator's degree and career path? How do you get it? How
>> my income combined with my future husband's income will suffice once I meet my
>> will suffice.
>> Yes.
>> At the top of your at the top of your career, what is your top project? What is your highest projected earning annually? probably like as a teacher [Music] in DC probably like 55 56,000
>> ma'am at the top of your career at best you won't even crack $60,000. So, in order to have the kind of lifestyle you're talking about, your husband would need to make $250, $200,000 or more.
>> It is people out here that >> Oh, Jesus. Math is fundamental, man. See, every time I talk to you about what it is, you tell me it's possible, and then the math keeps defeating you.
>> I feel like you're going off the math
>> because the math is real. You go into a bank talking this [ __ ] about I got a business plan and I got a dream and it could work. They don't go off of that. They go off of your credit rating, your collateral, and if there's going to be return on investment. And this is the problem. I want to bring you all the guys all the way back around. What has this education done for black women if they don't use their frict? Ma'am, we're having a simple logic conversation, grown conversation based on numbers, and you getting frustrated at the math because it won't work according to what you want. You can't you won't make more than $70,000 as a teacher. That's that's paycheck to paycheck for the rest of your life. And here's another thing. If you're like most black women and you don't get married, if you make $50,000 a year from 25 to 65 and you save $200 a month, that means when you graduate, when you retire at age 65, mandatory, and you can live from 65 to 85, like many black women do, you going to need $2.4 for a million, you will have at $50,000 for 40 years adjusted for inflation, you will have almost a $750,000 hole in your retire in your savings. When you run out of money, if you're not married and on your projected income, what's going to happen when there's no more money cuz you can't work anymore. There will be no income after you're out of money, what happens? Hopefully, if I'm not married, what >> No, no, no. You're not. If you're not married, what what happens?
>> If I'm not married, I would hope I raise my daughter, right, so she can take care of me.
>> So, in other words, I want you guys to understand their plan instead of prioritizing relationship and marriage to make sure they can get to the end of life is to burden their children with their elder care.
>> That's a [ __ ] up thing to do, man. I'm going to make my kid take care of me in the elder years. So, her husband, her life, her family, this is this is the reason I do this broadcast right here. This long ass interview to get through all of this to show I was taught to get my education and these educations aren't worth [ __ ] You are a middle class worker. You weren't taught anything to do with man. You weren't taught how to be a wife, how to get the very thing that's going to save you from being living with your daughter. You weren't taught how to do it. That's why you're a baby mama right now because I don't want to pressure him and this and that. All right, fine. You can dream all you want to, but you make are going to make less than $60,000 at the top of your career. That is broke.
>> That is broke. I mean, >> so you don't get to dream about living in bullying and five bedroomedroom homes and suburbans. At best, you get to do is live like you're living right now. Hold on. At best you get to do is live like you're doing right now with a maintenance man or a maintenance supervisor and y'all cobble together his income and your income and you live at that level. That's not a five- bedroomedroom house in Buoie. That's a three-bedroom house and your and your sister your your kids share a room.
>> Why are you acting as if it's like even if that happens? Even if I make a maintenance man. Well, my >> Why am I acting like what? Why am I acting like reality is real?
>> No. You acting like it can't happen. Even if it's with a >> what can't happen. I'm acting like what can't happen?
>> Marriage and everything else. You're saying >> No, no, no, no, ma'am. I'm not talking marriage to whom?
>> Whomever loves me.
>> No, no. Marriage to whom? Are we See, this is what I don't do. I don't allow you guys to conflate. I'm not acting like anything. Why am I acting like you are you are your dreams are too big for what it is?
>> But >> why are you man? Why are you think do you Okay. What out of 100% chance? What percentage chance would you give yourself of getting this five bedroomedroom home in the suburban this lifestyle?
>> I say a 50/50 chance because of the marriage thing. Marriage these days are harder to do. So if I give >> here's what I mean people a 50/50 chance. She gives herself a 50/50 chance of this dream high income lifestyle to where she is going to find a man who was going to be able to pay the 200,000. So you you going to find a $200,000 man. You gave yourself a 50-50 shot of finding a $200,000 man. That number >> ma'am ma'am the number you it's see I know more about the number than you do cost of living calculator ma'am I don't care if you don't like the math that's what it is
>> it's not that >> the child the average child c the average child cost a quarter of a million dollars I'm already running numbers
>> I know I said all that but what I'm saying >> how much how much how much would it cost >> they have those things and I know they don't make $200,000 Uhhuh.
>> They have the house.
>> $500,000 home. $500,000 home. How much is a mortgage on a $500,000 home?
>> Probably like 2,300 2500.
>> Mhm.
>> I only said these things because I know hold on hold on hold on hold on. Let's Let's do a mortgage estimator.
>> They have no nope. $2,300. You think of mortgages? How much do how much you plan on you going to have to you going have to you going have to mortgage out the entire thing.
>> That's what I'm saying. Mortgage about 20 mortgage. You going to mortgage the entire thing? What's the What's your zip What's the zip code in Buoy?
>> Probably 20747 or 20743.
>> Mhm. Fair. Uhhuh. You're a veteran though. Give you I'll give you a 700 to 720 to 739 score. There we go. Half a million dollar home. Oh, that's taking too long. How much is your rent right now?
>> $1,200. [Music]
>> $1,200.
>> Well, if you had utilities, probably around 13.
>> Mhm. Uh, and how long of a mortgage?
>> For probably about 50 years.
>> 50 years.
>> Mhm.
>> What's the life expectancy of a man?
>> Oh, probably like what, 65, 70?
>> Yeah. You can't get a mortgage for that that long at your age.
>> To start off with, >> man, you're 32. Top working age is 65.
>> I mean, if you're in good health, >> monthly payments $3452. $3,400. Man, you make at the top of your career, you'll make $60,000. A mortgage of $3,400. Even if it was $3,000, even if it was $3,000, that's $36,000 a year. That's over half of your gross take-home pay. Ain't no maintenance man can afford that. You cannot afford that. And that's before car man. That's before car payments. That's before utilities, groceries, living expenses, medical, insurance, the kids. See, the thing is you you don't know anybody who lives at that level. So, you don't know what the who do you know that lives.
>> That's what I was just telling you. The reason that I even want to live in Buoie because people that I know that live in Buoie and have these houses and things of that nature, I know for a fact that they
>> But you don't know how. Okay. What are they but what are their month what are their monthly total expenses with kids?
>> That's the point. That's the point. You don't know.
>> But I know $200,000 a year.
>> But you don't know. But but to get a 500,000 man, why in the hell I I Are you guys experiencing the same level of insanity? I mean, I want you to understand this is a college educated woman who has been defeated by math, but is going to make reality. Ma'am, has anyone ever proposed to you?
>> Yes.
>> Who?
>> My child's dad when we were younger.
>> Right. Since then, has anyone ever proposed to you?
>> And my ex-boyfriend before him.
>> And how old were you?
>> 19 and 20 three,
>> right? In the last 10 years.
>> Oh, no.
>> What's the most money of a man you've ever dated? What's the the highest earning man you've dated? I never really asked their income, but
>> but here a maintenance man that works for Metro could make up to $100,000.
>> Uh-huh.
>> It's true.
>> I get it. Cuz the cost of living is 150%. So guys, what I want you to understand is this is the level of delusion with the modern woman. She is going to figure I know people, but you don't know nobody. You don't know their living expenses. See the difference is between you and I. I know people who actually live like this levels what you're talking about and I know the expenses. I talk to people every day. Ma'am, due respect, you think what you're talking about makes sense, but you're going to read in the comment section that you are operating on a massively to-dulate level. You are a 6' tall 200B woman with a with a with a one-year-old and you are average to cute at best. Okay. Women in that kind of range don't get first divs or any divs of men earning that kind of money. That's average. Is the lifestyle you're talking about the lifestyle we're talking about is that an average lifestyle?
>> No. The lifestyle that you're talking about with this >> No. The lifestyle that we've been talking ma'am the one you talking about where you working 5% of the time. I said I would, but I don't have I don't have no problem.
>> All right, ma'am. The life. Okay. What do you honestly think you're going to get out of this life? What do you think you're going to get that life that we were talking about living in Buoie with five bedrooms in a suburban?
>> Yes.
>> You said you gave yourself a 50-50 shot.
>> Yes. Meaning because I >> 50-50 shot. And a 50-50 shot. And who's going and and carrying the financial load? What percentage of the family financial load would you have to have would you be carrying to live that life?
>> If I have more kids then I would do I would want to do like I said about 5% just utilities or that such because if I have more kids I'm going to have to take care of the kids. How the [ __ ] do you afford an upper class lifestyle when you're only working to pay utilities? How much is your husband going to have to make?
>> You I don't know, >> ma'am.
>> You ran the numbers. But >> ma'am, I asked you this lifestyle that we've ran down. You said, "I give myself a 50/50 shot." I said, "Okay, what percentage of the family household are you going to be paying for?" And you went right back to it and said, "Oh, only 5 to 10%." So that means the man has to pay 95 90 to 95% of that entire thing.
>> I said, "If we have a whole lot of more kids, >> that's the goddamn thing I just said. Three times." If I just have my one kid and work a regular >> ma'am. I know what I said. If you have more kids and you got this lifestyle, you working 5% of the time or 10% of the time, fine. You give yourself a 50-50 shot at having that lifestyle. How much does that man have to make annually to cover those to to because you only make you only make you only work 5 to 10% of the time. How much does he have to work? How many have to make annually?
>> You said $200,000, but >> how much? I'm asking you how much >> I feel like $100,000 because if I get You just went to a half a million dollar home. If I get a 35 $350,000 home, >> you are insane.
>> She This woman is saying that she can This woman is saying that she can have a $500,000 home, a $45,000 suburban. Her husband has at least the same car on her level. That's almost $600,000 in home and vehicle, two children, utilities, medical, insurance, savings, all these things, travel, then college, all of this coming from a man making $100,000. And I got news for you. You're [ __ ] insane. The math doesn't support that. And even if a $100,000 was enough, a man making that kind of money don't want an average woman.
>> $100,000 though isn't >> all right. This is this and this is why women like you, ma'am. Like I said, it ain't it ain't what you were taught anymore. It ain't what your mama did. It ain't what your mama taught you and what they did teach you. It's who you are. This is why I am I'm so adamant on this. Don't argue with a man at this point. Like I said, most of them over 30, they're beyond reproach. You can't save this because when math doesn't work, they will argue up and down, up and down. I'm going to use this. And I tried to help you, man, but bottom line, I don't know where you think where you where in what world an average woman, an average woman with a child has the nerve to sit back talking about, if I have another kid, I would want her not to have to work except to pay utilities. when every goddamn day you got to get up and work to pray for you and your kid. That's your life.
>> Yes.
>> And that's and that's going to be your and m that's your future. That's your future. Because if a man on the kind of level that you're talking about, he is would hear anything that's coming out of this, he going to run for the high heels. I don't know why you would think that you get to be entitled sitting up on your ass and somebody else has to work to cover that kind of bill and you just work 5 to 10% of the time. A woman who can't cook or just learn how to cook.
>> I can cook.
>> Insane. This is what I'm telling you guys. When I say things, I don't just say them. I said women of the group tell men of the group what they think they deserve by how they look and how they act. Look at how she's acting. This is it for me. I'm a I'm a mother. I'm not even really fit. I'm an average earner and my goal is to just get married and have you pay all the bills.
>> I said I'll be >> Good luck with that. Aline, >> man. This right here is the exact example what we talk about all the time. She's 32 years old, but still moving and acting like a teenager, while Kevin is literally pouring his heart out, trying to give her some real guidance. The attention span is gone. The focus is gone. She's walking around looking around, not even locked in on the message. And that tells you everything you need to know. See, her mother raised her like so many other women are raised. You're a princess. You deserve the world. You're special just for existing. And when you've been told that your whole life without being taught accountability or responsibility, this is the result. You grow into an adult that has no clue how the world actually works. And when a man finally tries to sit you down and give you some truth, you can't even process it. And what's worse, she can't hold mama accountable. She can't hold other women accountable. It's always someone else's fault or the situation's fault, but never their own. That's why these conversations go nowhere. Because if you can't even acknowledge the root of the problem, you can't fix anything. This is what young men today have to deal with. Women who think they deserve everything just for showing up. Women who have been living in a dream world with no connection to reality. And honestly, I feel sorry for the younger guys coming up because this is the pool they expected to choose from. Kevin was laying out facts, giving her game, and she just wasn't smart enough or disciplined enough to even sit still and take it in. And that's scary because if at 32, you still don't understand accountability, still don't understand how to live within your means, and still think life is a fairy tale where a man will come rescue you, then what do you really have to offer? This right here is insane. But unfortunately, it's the reality we see play out over and over.