So there is this principle that we have often cited because it is a general principle, as I told you, which is at the basis of the writing of the first book, "Life, All Life." It is to pass from potential to real. The definition of life is to pass from potential to real. In French, we say "exister" (to exist). "Ex" means outside, "is" means to be, and "mant" means being. Given that the goal and definition of life is to exist, and that everyone has this goal, each of us, therefore, there will automatically be confrontations of coexistence. It's logical, yes. And since the engine of existence is will, there will be confrontations of will. And there it becomes very complicated. Why? Because the Gemara says that just as faces are different, minds are different. It's their mind. We've already explained that this word is very hard to translate because the word means consciousness, it means will, it means maturity. Now, we all have a different one, and that's why we have different faces, says the Gemara. That is to say, the fact that we have different faces, because there is no 100% true "sausis" (this word is unclear, likely a typo or specific term). So why do we have different faces? Because the face is like a signpost. Yes, when you arrive in Austria, it says "Austria." Yes, when you arrive in Germany, it says "Germany." Well, when you see the other, you know the other is someone else. I know what you're going to tell me, frankly, I don't need the other to have another head for me to understand that it's not me when I see the other. It's obvious, no? It's not so obvious because we have such a search for existence, such a search to be ourselves, that we would also want the other to participate in our personal becoming. That's why when the other disagrees with us, we get offended, we get stressed, we argue, we quarrel, we feel like the other is suffocating us, when they are simply, they are simply enjoying a capacity and a right, which is the fact of being someone else. No, you have to accept that. You have to accept that the other is someone else. In fact, you have to learn to count to two, because we only count to one. Three people, when you contradict them, they tell you "one, one." They find it difficult. Three. They don't want to. Yes, impossible to imagine such a thing. Why is it called plural? Yes, the world is plural, man is plural. You have to accept the plural. Now, the plural, again, is the source of many problems. What did Sartre say? Hell is other people. Yes. And what do we say? Impossible to go to Gan Eden, to paradise, without others. So, if you look at the difference of the other as an obstacle, it will be hell. If you look at the difference of the other as an opportunity, it will be paradise. So, in fact, the problem is, where do you start? In what state of mind do you come? What is your psychological terrain that precedes the encounter? Did you understand? If you are insecure, if you are paranoid, if you are uncomfortable in your own skin, obviously there are many enemies in the world. Yes. But if you are comfortable in your own skin, if you are built, if you are balanced, there are only good people in the world. That's the problem. Yes. It's called the optician. It's the guy who... who opts for you. Yes. The ophthalmologist is your gaze. What gaze do you have? Now, the gaze is the projection of what you contain. Because "Panim" in Hebrew means face, but "Pnim" means interior. In the same way that you must perceive the interiority of the other through their face, in the same way, the other must see your interiority through your face, on one condition. Yes. Which is that your face and your interiority are the same. And yes. So that eliminates all hypocrites, all people who are not built, all calculators. Well, the examples are masculine because I am masculine, but you have understood that all examples are bisexual. Yes, no? Afterwards, you'll say, "Oh, he spoke with men." No, in truth, the logic is that I am speaking to myself, and you are attending my personal work sessions. So, why is it like this? Because the only way to make someone evolve is to evolve. As I told you at the time, the best encouragement to existence is existence. If you want your professors to exist, you have to exist for them. If you want your children to exist, you have to exist for them. If you want your spouse to exist, you have to exist for them. Now, if you don't exist, yes, meaning you don't externalize, you don't realize, you don't enter the world of reality, don't get angry that the other also makes no effort, doesn't come to me, doesn't open their heart, always puts themselves in a position of security. But it's a mirror. And that's the problem. That on one hand, I will suffer the difference of the other, and on the other hand, I need the difference of the other. Because we could have said, "Well, listen, we are as we are, each one is as they are, it's not a big deal, it's like that." It's... in fact, the group is... it's a sum of... of... of solitaries. No, that doesn't work. Yes. Because they say, "Hacham kol adam," which means the wise man is he who learns from every man. So, obviously, you'll say, "But then, no one is wise, because there are 7 billion people in the world, and no one has learned from everyone." It's good. And if the definition of a wise man is one who has learned from everyone, then since no one has learned from everyone, no one is wise. No, it's not that you learn from everyone, it's that you learn from all the people who are necessary for your evolutionary journey. That in your life, you will meet a certain number of people who will sometimes express love, sometimes hate, sometimes people who will encourage you, sometimes people who will attack you, sometimes people who will master you. But they are teachers. Yes. They are teachers because when you have seen the paranoia of the other, it's a teacher. You will cure yourself of that. You'll say, "I don't want to be like that." When you have seen the other how they tore themselves apart, you'll say, "No, I'm not getting into that." When you have seen that lying has made them, not a liar, it's that lying doesn't make liars, it makes lies. It means that even the person themselves becomes a lie. In fact, they don't exist. As Shabbat says, truth endures, lies don't endure. That's why a lie collapses after a while, whereas truth, even if it takes 10 years to come out, it comes out in the end. It's the truth. What is truth? It's "emet." And what is "emet"? We've already explained it, but since I see a lot of new faces, is it the subject that brought you here, or what's happening? Ah, you are quite troubled, though. I'm interested. Okay, good. So, next week it's on sex addicts, so there will be even more people, and then we'll do another course on people who doubt their gender. Good. So, then, we'll have to add floors. So, uh, what are we saying? The word "emet" is written Aleph, Mem, Tav. Bon, I remind you for those who are not Hebrew speakers that it means truth. Okay. And it's one of God's names. Interesting. Now, it's written Aleph, Mem, Tav. The Aleph is the first letter of the alphabet. A priori, it's the smallest because its numerical value is 1. But on the other hand, "Aluf" means chief, king. So, on one hand, it's the smallest, on the other hand, it's the first, it's the chief, it's from him that everything decides. There's space, there's space there. Otherwise, we can take chairs. Boys who are happy to stand up. Yes, take chairs. No, but there are chairs there. There are still chairs. Boys... there's a lack of them among the girls, as usual. My success in the feminine. No, I'll explain. There are always more girls in the courses because, since the boy has an obligation to study the Torah, he has to study. But since the girl doesn't have the obligation, she doesn't have to study. So she studies. It's a phenomenon. So, I think they are more afraid of toxic relationships than boys are afraid of toxic relationships. Ah, yes, that's true, it's quite widespread. So, so the idea is what? It's that, once again, we will meet people in our lives who are different from us, and it's fortunate that they are different from us. Now, we can have a form of existential laziness, only seeking people who resemble us. Well, on the other hand, people who resemble us don't necessarily make us evolve. On the other hand, different people force us to grow. That's why your teacher is stronger than you. It's true. You could take a guy your own age and say, "Well, you know, we'll do the program together." No, the teacher has to be 100 times stronger than the student. It's true. Why does he have to prepare a CAPES or an aggregation to teach first-year students? That doesn't make sense. But in truth, why? Because he emanates an energy. This energy, in French, is called "le devenu" (the becoming), and "le devenu" is the engine of ambition for the one who wants to become. So, we need the other to be greater than us, like the Rabbi must be 100 times stronger. I see people saying, "Oh, Rabbi, I want to become a Rabbi." I say, "But you're too young to be a ravished one." No, I have to study for 15 years. He says, "But 15 years is long. I'm in a hurry. I want a salary." But no, the problem is that to be a source of inspiration and a source of ambition, you have to be 100 times stronger than the student. It's like, whether you like it or not, like the father, a priori, he has at least 20 years difference with the child. Yes, the father. Okay. Why don't we have children at 8, at 9? Because we can't. It's not a kid who's going to take care of a kid. It takes a man to take care of a child. It's good. The problem is that the father doesn't necessarily define the level of maturity. So, it's a challenge to become a man as quickly as possible, so that your son, when he looks at you, sees a man. That's what I said. Children are an invitation for adults to become adults. Because in front of you, you can lie to yourself. In front of your parents, you can say, "You don't understand me." In front of your spouse, you can say, "We got married too quickly." But in front of your child, you can't lie. So, you are forced to be good. So, the child forces you to become. The student forces you to become. Now, again, if we are good students, because "Hacham kol adam," the wise man is he who learns from every man, so we understand that the other is a teacher. But again, we can learn through the positive, we can learn through the negative, we can learn through the action of the other, we can learn through the passivity of the other, we can learn through the presence of the other, we can learn through the absence of the other. We learn, we learn. So, in this logic, again, difference is necessary. As it was said, "He will never lack." Ah yes, I'm explaining. And me, I'm really tired because I was at a thousand years this morning, and I think I stayed there for a thousand years. We said that the word "emet" is written Aleph, Mem, Tav. Aleph is the smallest letter, numerical value 1, and Tav, numerical value 400. Now, you have to go from Aleph to Tav. So, the Aleph is inside you, it corresponds to your interiority, but it's the potential. And you have to bring it to the real. So, you have to realize yourself. So, your inner self must be realized in your outer self. It's good. Now, the outer self is confronted with constraint, with the other. We look at the other, at the exam, at the date, at the rent, at the money. So, it's forced to be adult, the outer self. The inner word, it can afford to dream, to fantasize, to lie to itself, but it doesn't last long. So, you are forced to develop your inner self and to realize it in your outer self. When you are in this perpetual dynamic of "I realize myself," okay, normally we would say "I realize," "I realize myself." So, there's the "I" who wants to realize himself, and the "me" who doesn't want to realize himself. And each one, in itself, has a heavy side, a light side. Yes, a childish side, a girlish side, a stupid side, a paranoid side. Each one has that. We call that the "yetzer hara," the evil inclination, the shadow zone, the neurosis, the discomfort, the comfort in non-existence, the comfort zone, the zone of strength, the zone of good. There are still... there are free places there. There are two there. Good. There's a bag that's super comfortable, but it's going to... it's going to put itself... there's one there, one behind. So, in this logic, we now understand that the other becomes a decapsulator of my potential. Like the teacher, he senses my potential. So, to everyone, he gives three exercises, and to me, he gives 10. And I say, "Yeah, he hates me because my mother was his ex." No, in truth, it's because he wants me to realize myself. In the same way, it's like a teacher who sends exercises. What are the exercises called? Trials. Now, a trial is not necessarily a negative, anxious trial, an illness, a suffering, an anguish. No, a trial can also be someone who annoys you, someone who asks you a question, someone who asks you for a favor. It can also be a trial. Look at the boys, what we're going to do. Don't take it the wrong way. Everyone will stand up, take their chair, and move forward by one meter. This distance is useless. Go on, don't be afraid. Don't be afraid. I can't position myself that far. It's impossible. So, in this logic, yes, that I go from potential to real. So, if I don't realize my potential, then I don't realize the "Tav." What remains? What is "Mem"? "Mem" is... it's your mother. It's the mom. So, in fact, you've remained in the fetal position. You remain a baby. So, if I put it at the level of interiority: "Mom, give me a coffee, I'm thirsty." Says, "But I'm your wife." Excuse me. The revealing element. So, if I haven't realized the "Mem," the "Tav," I remain in the "Mem." I'm still in my mother's womb. Okay. But even that, it's also... what is "Si"? What is "Si"? It's the mark of indecision. "What if they do this? What if they love me? What if they help me? What if..." Whereas the adult, there's no "if." You have to do it, you do it. That's all. So, the immature person is in the "if." "If you want." So, if you don't realize your potential, your Aleph, your Tav, it hasn't appeared. You remain "Mem." If you destroy your potential, "I am nothing. I want nothing. I am worthless. I am scum. I am a dirty race." You remove the Aleph, what remains? "Mem." Dead. That's death. People think death is the heart stopping, the brain stopping. You're fine. There are many people whose hearts have stopped and their brains too. You interact with them every day, but they're not dead. No, when the interiority is destroyed, when the potential is destroyed because you've been mentally castrated, because stress has been put on you, because you've lived things badly, because you can't stand the gaze of the other, then your interiority is destroyed. It's "Mem." That's "Mem." That's why the Gemara says the foolish are called dead, the imbeciles too. Okay. People who are afraid, it's a form of death. So, there are many definitions of death like that. But the Torah wants life. And life, again, the definition of life is to pass from potential to real. So, you must know your "Tav," you must aspire to your "Tav," and you must go from Aleph to Tav. Otherwise, it's called in French that you don't exist. To exist, "ex" is outside, "is" is to be. What is the use of the "Mem"? The "Mem" is in the middle. Yes. And the "Mem" is the median letter in the alphabet of 22 letters. It's the middle letter, so it represents balance. You can't go from Aleph to Tav, you can't go from potential to real without balance. If you see someone who makes jumps of 4000 meters, someone who has an accelerator of maturity, in 3 days he becomes mature, in 2 days he does "teshuva," in one day he tells you he loves you to death. That's not good. It's too fast. It's true. Because the oven bakes at 180 degrees, it takes 40 minutes to make the tart. You say, "But I'm stupid, I'll put it in an oven at 3000 degrees, an oven to melt cast iron, glass." It will cook very quickly. The problem is that nothing remains. We need balanced cooking. We need CP up to the terminal year. We need these first 10 years of marriage. We need the adolescent crisis. We need these are necessary stages. When you skip steps, you remove the "Mem," and the "Mem" is balance. It means that everything you do must be in balance. Your studies in balance, your "teshuva" in balance, your personal evolution in balance. You do weightlifting. "Kol hakavod," I'm proud of you. Okay. It's going to take 10 years. Ah, no, I'm in a hurry. Yes, I'm fed up. We start at 20 kg. Yes, but the other is at 180 kg bench press. Yes, 180 kg, but he's been lifting for 10 years. You just arrived, you do it once, that's it. All your muscles will explode. You're not adapted. In the same way, the guy is the boss of the Bank of France, but know that he started at the cashier, slowly, slowly, he went through all the necessary stages. Like children. Children, the little ones, we don't educate them like the big ones. Why? Because the big ones were very young, very new, and sometimes poorly molded. So, when the big ones tell you, "Dad, you're much cooler with the little ones." Yes, my son, because I learned on "Tav." He says, "Who is Tav?" And there you go. So, this necessity of Aleph, Mem, Tav, 1, 40, 400, these are stages. Yes, we need that. So, we must go through "Mem," we must go through balance. The problem is that "Mem" is not the same for everyone. Do you follow me or not? We each have our "Mem." It means that your existential rhythm is not the same as the other's. The other needs 6 months for a reflection, the other does 19 reflections in one minute. It's not that he's rushed, no, he's fast. The other is slow. They will arrive at the same result, but the approach is different. And that's where the problem of difference lies. So, what does the good Lord do? He makes people who need to grow meet people who will make them grow. But know that even the person who will make you grow, she herself needs to grow. That's why I gave you the example at the time. There's the plank, the wooden plank, the bread plank. It's calm, it's good. Well, it's been cut roughly, it has bumps, it has splinters, it has pieces sticking out. Okay. It's exposed to the sun, it dries. Yes. And it sees a monster arriving. Who is it? The file. As long as the wood is soft, it's true, with your name, you press, it leaves a mark. The file is steel, it's black, it's sharp, it's aggressive. So, when the file meets the wood, there will be suffering. Like you were calm, you had good results at school, you were fine, calm, because, first, your sister was your mother, general supervision, and in addition, you had facilities. But when you entered preparatory classes, or medicine, and there you can't count on your past achievements, you have to work. "But I've never worked in my life!" So, the file will hurt a lot. You will lose pieces. Yes, it's the same. When you didn't think, it was easy. Now you are in a relationship where you need to think, and you argue all the time. Why? Because here you have to grow with the other, you have to evolve, you have to understand each other, you have to communicate. And communicate is "commun," like "un," to arrive at communion. But how will we arrive at communion? Because we are two. How do we become one when we are two? There you go. You've understood that in the end, the source of conflict, which is difference, is the source of the solution. And that's the problem. That on one hand, we are forced to confront each other, we are forced to open up, we are forced to trust, because that's the only way to grow. Otherwise, you lock yourself in sclerosis, and you... you are protected, but you don't grow. But on the other hand, it's the act of opening up, yes, that makes us vulnerable. Do you follow me? So, how are we going to respond to this problem? Because growing is taking risks. Growing is evolving. Growing is... it's risky. That's why it's said, "Tsadik." Stop. There isn't a "Tsadik" on earth who has done good and not erred. So, it's interesting that we chose the word "Tsadik," because "Tsadik" means just. Okay. And "Tzedek" is justice. Now, what is the symbol of justice? The balance. Why? Because everyone knows that in justice, you need balances to apply justice. No, it's because the balance is equilibrium. There are two plates. Here is what you have done, and here is what you deserve. You have done good, you deserve good. You have done evil, you deserve evil. Yes. Here is what you say, here is what you do. It's good, you are honest because you do what you say. Here is what you think, here is what you say. It's good because you are honest, you say what you think. Yes. So, in truth, "Tsadik," justice, is coherence. It goes between what? Between your inner being, once again, and your outer being, which are supposed to be the same, since you must be yourself, yourself, the same as yourself. But you've understood that for you to express an outer self that is coherent with the inner word, there are two subjects. There is the subject that you have developed your inner word, and then that your outer self is equivalent to your inner self. It's good. Now, the idea is that to work on this self, we need the other, we need events, we need trials, we need happiness, we need misfortune. All of this will be the appearance of the facets of our personality. And that's called "Tsadik." So, you've understood that "Tsadik," besides Baba Sali, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, yes, "Tsadik" means "Tzedek," so "Tsadik" means coherent. That's why everyone must be "Tsadik." Because maybe you won't be a great "Tsadik," maybe you won't be a great "Tsadik," maybe you won't be a Rosh Yeshiva, but you are obliged to be coherent. As soon as you are incoherent, "Rasha." The "Rasha" is incoherent. Yes. He wears a kippah, not black, but he sleeps with his girlfriend. He kisses. Yes. He eats non-kosher except during holidays. He has two stomachs, okay. He keeps Shabbat, but on Sunday it's more practical. So, he is incoherent. He says, "I love you," and he cheats on you. It's not serious that you lie. It's not serious. But don't tell me "I love you." Yes, but do you understand, mosaic, your qualities, her chest. So, try to make a kind of... no, you accept me, you love me. I love you. I'm trying to speak slowly so that you understand well, because the word "love" doesn't mean what you think it means. The vibration, the passion, what you hear in songs. The word "love" in Hebrew means "one." Because "Ahavah" has the same numerical value as "Echad" (one). So, to love is to become one. People become two, but they love each other. In fact, they are looking for opportunities to sow. Okay. But the idea is that when I become one with you, even though at the start we are two, yes, and the Torah said, "V'ahavta l're'akha re'akha," "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Translation: You shall become one. How can we become one when we are two? Well, it's very simple. It's called in French, "fusion." It's called "solution." It's called "mixing." Now, in the same way that when you love yourself, yes, it means you become one with yourself, so you are yourself. Yes. When you become one with the other, you become him or her. Besides, that's what you want, if you want her to be herself. Now, what is love? It's making the other able to be themselves. Okay. But again, it will depend. Will you love the exterior, and therefore it's for you? Or will you love the interior of the person, and it's for her or for him? Do you follow me? Or there. I know there's a very great temptation, because you know the major flaw of women is that she is beautiful. Is that a flaw? That 80% of men consider women as an object, an object of desire. That's why the Torah said, for 15 days, your wife is forbidden. The woman is "niddah." Yes. Why? So that you cannot touch her, you cannot, between quotes, use her for your equatorial needs, the hottest part of the planet. But you must continue to respect, to dialogue, to thank, to admire. How will you admire someone if the main reason for your admiration is inaccessible because of the prohibition? Do you follow me? And that's where you define what your relationship is exactly. Now, I've taken the example of intimacy, but the intimacy of dialogue is the same. If you love me only when I agree with you, that's not love. Because you become one with yourself. You must tolerate difference, you must tolerate contradiction, you must even tolerate annoyance. If you love, did you understand or not? Again, it's not... it's not love. Because you are so polluted by society that talks to you about love, love, that you don't have the true meaning. The true meaning, according to the Torah, again, is to love is to become one. Whereas in society, to love is to consume together. I use you to please myself, you use yourself to please yourself physically, mentally. Yes. That's why when the other contradicts me, ah, I say, "Then you don't love me." Then you don't agree with me. Worse still, someone told me, "My wife lacks respect for me." I say, "Oh really? What does she do?" "Well, she doesn't accept my opinion." Call me your age. 14, 15. No, 41. 41. Oh dear. 21 years of coma. Okay. So, in truth, it goes in exactly the same spirit. Because what is respect? Respect is the right to exist that I give to the other. Do you follow me or not? Like you respect me because I'm bearded, because I'm handsome. No, because you are interested in my existence for you. When I will bring out my Torah, you will receive it. That's it. So, respect is the right to exist. But if you think that when the other, listen carefully, doesn't agree with you, it's a lack of respect, it means that you feel that the other is preventing you from existing. Do you follow me or not? But the other has done nothing. She has done nothing. She has just given her opinion. In fact, she has just existed. That means that, in fact, you feel attacked by the existence of the other, which prevents you from existing. So, you would want the other not to exist. A doll, a statue, a wallet, a credit card. It's you who will define. Do you follow me or not? Because when you will define the existential amplitude of the person, automatically you will define your existential amplitude. That means we will confront, we will exchange, we will dialogue. Attention, we will contradict. Now, again, if you love me, translation: your project is to become one. There's no problem. But if you love me in the sense of appreciating, like you love apples, like you love strawberries, like you love raspberries, for example. You take a raspberry. It's a little... a little acidic, but it's sweet. It's a raspberry. But if you take a raspberry, and it tastes like vinegar, it's disgusting. It's true. It's disgusting. Now, you, the problem is that if you anticipated that the other has a good taste because they go along with you, and that's where they have taste. Yes. So, when they don't go along with you, they are... well, you feel bad, and you feel challenged, and you feel offended, and you feel attacked. So, difference. Do you follow me or not? That means passive aggression exists. But passive aggression is the existence of the other. Then we will see active aggressions. People who are mean, people who get into your head, into your heart, who use you. We will see. But first, you have to understand this: that we said "Tsadik." "V'lo yihyeh Tsadik b'aretz asher ya'aseh tov v'lo yahta." "There will not be a righteous person on earth who does good and does not err." Now, what is it? Why isn't it written directly like all the "richim" (rich people, likely a typo for "tzadikim" - righteous people)? What do they say? Why do you, when they tell them, "But why do you err?" "There is no Tsadik who has not erred." So, if even the Tsadikim err, people like me, who are not well-made, who have done good and not erred. What is good? Good, the good, the beautiful, the magnificent, the true, the pure, the "shaleim," which means complete. When a man and a woman get married, we say "Mazal Tov" (good luck), because the man's "Mazal" is incomplete on the woman, the woman's "Mazal" is incomplete on the man. So, as soon as they unite, the two make "Tov" (good). When God finished creation, he said, "Ve'hi tov" (and it was good). But "od" (more)? Because something was missing. When he created the "yetzer hara," he completed it. You say, "How can you call the 'yetzer hara' Tov?" Because the "yetzer hara" is the engine. If you master it, it takes you to Gan Eden. If you succumb to it, it takes you to Gehenna. It's like the guy who died in a car accident. In fact, he died because he had a license. You say, "But the car gives freedom." Yes, if you know how to drive. If you don't know how to drive, you die because of it. So, in truth, good and evil meet. Because good, yes, maybe it's evil that has been optimized. And evil, maybe it's good that has gone wrong. Like people have qualities. The person said, for example, she is kind, she is kind, she is kind. Good. But she's also a pushover. And yes, these are the flaws induced by the qualities. It's true. She gave her trust, she gave her heart. Well, then she gave her body. Well, that's optional. But she said, because three-quarters are already given. No, no, no, no, no. I've already told you, even if you're not religious, the boy says, "Listen, darling, we've known each other for a year. It's time to be able to verify that everything works well." And it's 4 in the morning. He says, "Show me." That means your moral qualities. I can't take it anymore. I need it too much. I'm a man. You have to know that I...

I am a man, so what you do, you look him well in the eyes and you tell him on behalf of "die". Die, I know what you're going to tell me, "No, but Rabbi, we're not religious." Die, you touch my daughter, die. This year, or this week, if you're in a hurry. Well, imagine, I've been giving advice for 30 years, so to tens of thousands of girls. Never has a girl come to me to say, "He died, it's because of you." No, they don't die, they don't die, they are solid. Blara, they don't die. Yes, but you, know this, my daughter, if you crack, you're the one who's going to die. When you arrive at the wedding and the Rabbi tells you, "What do I write?" I write "Betoula." It's going to be complicated. I've had some experiences. How so? So, preserve yourselves. It's good, you'll be proud of yourselves, you'll be pure, you'll be in front of a beautiful chuppah. And there, even if you say, "Yes, but we're not very religious," and that's very common, it's very easy. You give your time, you carry his bag, you help him with his homework, but your body, no, because your body is your dignity, it's your person, especially if the other one only sees you as a body. Yes, but we're two months away from the wedding. Wallo. [Music] Yes, but we're not very religious, and I need to feel his love. Yes, you want to feel his love, he wants to feel something else. Besides, you feel it. So, do me a favor, preserve yourselves. Yeah, why? Because the most important thing in life is not to be happy. The most important thing is to have the Shekhinah in your home, it's the divine presence. Even if you're not religious, yeah. And when the divine presence needs certain conditions, it needs the mikvah, it needs kashrut, it needs modesty, it needs respect, it needs good will, it needs holiness. It needs... Well, I know you're going to tell me, "But we're not concerned by that, we're not religious." But you're Jewish, aren't you? Yes, by father and mother. So you are concerned. Ah, I said, "I don't feel concerned." But how can you be concerned and not feel concerned at the same time? Or no. Okay, we close the parenthesis, we zip up our fly, and we continue. Okay. So, what's the idea? It's that we said "Tov," which means complete. What is it? It's enough that it does good. Translation: that it does complete. How complete? By confronting reality. Because man is incomplete, he is lacking. He becomes complete by working. Like you. How did you pass to second year? Because you did the first year. But you did the presence of the first year, you did the program of the first year, you did the midterms of the first year, you did the exercises, the notes. So, in fact, you became a second-year student during the first year. You say, "No, I'll just sit at university, I'm here, I'm fine, I'm registered." Strangely, you don't evolve. So, in the same way that confrontation makes you evolve at university, confrontation makes you evolve in life. Now, Hashem sends you professors. So, Tov, what is it? It's taking risks, it's acting, it's developing, it's building, it's having projects, it's giving yourself the means, it's getting out of your comfort zone, it's realizing yourself. That's it. Now, he said, "Le Tov." So, you understood. There's no such thing as someone who is coherent and does good, meaning who takes the risk of becoming and who doesn't make mistakes. It's impossible. So, people who don't exist, people who don't invest, people who don't take risks, it's true, they don't make mistakes. But the one who takes risks makes mistakes. And if you say, "It's still regrettable," okay, because the ideal would be that there are no mistakes. So, I'll tell you a secret that is very, very understood in the American mentality of evolution: mistakes are beneficial. Failures allow you to bounce back. In France, it's the opposite. You messed up, you're useless, you failed the exam, you're better off washing windows. In America, no. You've had three bankruptcies, it's okay, it's okay. The fourth company will be very, very strong because you've learned from the three bankruptcies. Whereas in France, you have one bankruptcy, you say, "Buy a stool, a rope, and die." That's it. So, what does that mean? It means that fault is part of the evolution process. I didn't say "verra" (lie), I said "fault," "mistake." Yeah. Falling. That's why it's written that the tzaddik falls seven times and gets up. Okay? But Rav Dessler says it's not seven times, it's 7,000 times, 70,000 times. It's that we fall and we get up. So, I'll give you an image. It's the triple jump. Have you ever seen the triple jump? Okay. It's a thing, it's a phenomenon. A guy runs, he takes 30 meters of run-up, he hits the ground, he jumps 6 meters. Try to jump 3 meters. He jumps 6 meters. He hits the ground again. Sometimes with the same foot, sometimes with the other foot. And he jumps 6 meters again. And he hits the ground again. And he jumps 6 meters again. The championship, the world champion, jumps about 18 meters. Now, 18 meters in 3 jumps, it's a phenomenon. Yeah. You see it in slow motion sometimes, they cut up the images, they take hundreds of images, and from the side, you see the guy in the air. In fact, he flies 6 meters. He flies. You say, "Okay, kol hakavod, bravo, you did 6 meters." Are you going to stop? No. The guy hits the ground, he takes off again. It's called "rebondir" (to bounce back) in French. Okay. Life in holiness is not one jump. Life is a series of jumps. But in the jump, there's the moment where you rise, kol hakavod, bravo, and tzaddik. But there's the moment where you come down. Okay? How do you say it? There are moments you go up, there are moments you go down. Sometimes you're in good spirits, sometimes you're not. Yeah. Sometimes you want to conquer the world, and sometimes you want to stay in bed crying. That's called life. There are ups and downs. But what matters is that you bounce back. Yeah. Bounce back means, "Okay, I understood, I'm moving forward. I've become aware, I'm moving forward." But if you stay at the moment of the rebound, you settle in. It's called suffering, guilt, depression, self-destruction, self-deprecation. Yeah. You're screwed. You have to bounce back. Now, let's do the math. The guy jumped 18 meters in three jumps. How long did each rebound last? The whole jump lasted 3 seconds, and that's a lot. 3 seconds. Yeah. How long did he stay on the ground? Tac, tac. He took off again. In French, we call that the ability to bounce back. Bounce back. How long does it take? Listen carefully. Listen carefully. Realization, reactivity. I understood, I understood, I'm moving forward. I understood, I'm moving forward. I understood, I'm moving forward. If it takes you a long time to understand, you'll stay put. If it takes you a long time to react, you'll stay put. You're screwed. Life is not a triple jump. It's thousands of jumps. We run, we jump, we run, we jump, we run, we jump. You go from one stage to another, you go from one level to another, you go from one page of Gemara to another, you go from one midah to another, you go from one level of maturity in your couple to another. We spend our lives going from one level to another. Okay? And that's called "Tzad." It means there will be mistakes, there will be failures, there will be retakes, there will be disagreements in the couple, there will be good moments, there will be bad moments, there will be pride, there will be childishness, there will be heaviness. Yeah. You say, "Yes, but thankfully we love each other." Listen to me. Love, I repeat for those who practice "cervolant" (acrobatics), it's not the vibration inside, it's not the... it's not passion. No. Love is the intense decision to become one. Now, the intense decision to become one allows you to get through these moments, where things aren't going so well. Yeah. And in the medium term, it creates the vibration that is vulgarly called love in the street. But yes, why? Because if I love you, but I don't become one with you, because every time you contradict me, I love you less. So, in fact, I don't love you, it's that I love myself. But if I manage to love you despite the contradiction, it's because I've overcome my ego. Now, I remind you of this phrase from Ben-Tzvi's thought: to create a common love, you must eliminate two self-loves. You're ready to die. You say, "But I don't want to, I don't want to fail." But in all areas. You want to become one with God? Lower your head. You want to become a doctor? You're not a doctor. You'll have to kill 6 in your life to become a doctor. You want to learn from this mentor? Well, you have to accept that he's right and you're wrong. And if it's false, and if I'm right, okay. But you want to change, you want to grow. Lower your head. It means that in truth, to live, you must be ready to die. Whether you want to or not. You want your children to exist? You'll have to kill your will for them to become what you haven't become, or for them to become what you want them to become. It's very hard. Are you ready to die? If you say, "Listen, I'm very disappointed because he chose, he chose to be an accountant, whereas I wanted him to be a doctor." That means you had a child for yourself. But if you say, "I'm very proud of him and I support him in all his choices," that means you had a child for him. Do you understand the difference or not? Okay. Now, between you and me, you're going to tell me, "Yes, but Rabbi, we're not really at an age to talk about children." First, I tell you right away that it's 20 years before the birth of the child that you need to prepare, not 20 years after he's born, because then it's too late. First. And second, I'm giving you examples of spouses, examples of children, but it's always on the same principle: that in fact, before educating the child who is in front of me, I must educate the child who is inside me. And the child who is inside me has... the beginning of the course is my potential. When I realize it, it becomes the adult. So, I go from child to adult within me. Now, when I've found the path through the labyrinth to become an adult, maybe I can help the child become an adult. And if it took me 15 years, maybe I can understand that it will take the other person time too. So, when I get angry that the other person isn't going at the same pace as me, it's because, once again, I refuse to understand that the other person's difference is an opportunity. So, I take it as an aggression, and voilà, I'm upset. That's why many, many people, even though they are Jewish by birth, convert to Buddhism. Do you know Buddhism? It's people who make faces, they sulk, they sulk, they sulk, they sulk, and they only talk about the past. Besides, they say the Buddha sits on the ground, he's stubborn, he's resistant, he loses his hair from nerves, he gains weight for no reason, and he sits with his legs crossed, making faces. That's called Buddhism. Some sulk their whole lives. They're called "jusque-bouddhisme." No, beille, it's like you're like my children. We're all going to die. So stop wasting your time making faces. Stop building cathedrals of suffering for yourselves. Stop building justification files for failure. Stop playing ball, play the match. Go, go, go, go. Enter reality. Go, go, fight, go succeed. I know what you're going to tell me, "Yes, but all this is theory." But I remind you that I can't do the practice for you. You're too lazy. Do you want me to do both? First. And second, I was at 1000 yesterday evening, I finished the course. But I'm telling you this in the middle because I'm afraid of forgetting. I'm giving you an exercise. This exercise will take you 10 years if you do it really 100%. Yeah. It's learning to say "yes" but without saying "but." It sounds simple. You say "yes." You're given an answer, you say "yes." You see a reality, you say "yes." You're made a proposal, you say "yes." Now, you're asked to change, you say "yes." You say "yes," but what is it? "Esra'ah" (a difficult situation). But it's not obvious, it's difficult. You don't know them. My parents are tough. The economic situation is bad. Stop with your "buts." It's the Minister of Integration who forces us to say words in Arabic to prepare for the France of tomorrow. Okay. So, do you understand what I'm saying or not? But what I told you now, to be able to say "yes" without saying "but," if today, right now, you are here, in front of me, yeah, you say, "Okay, I trust you, I'll take it upon myself, I'll work." Listen carefully. It takes, it takes 10 years full-time. Because you see people, 20 years of marriage, but it's not easy, but it's hard, but the child is special, but the school didn't accept him. But do you know what it is? "Yes." "Yes" means I'm entering the New York marathon. Do you know what it is? But I'm getting both my legs cut off, and strangely, I don't understand why I'm not moving forward. That's called in French being whole in your choices. And whole means complete. And complete means... Now, there will be obstacles, there will be pitfalls, there will be aggressions, there will be crazy people, there will be crazy women. But you're going to move forward, or not? No, but I'm explaining to you. But you want to move forward, or not? Yes. But you want to succeed, or not? Yes. Okay, the dean is crazy, your professor doesn't like you, the quotas have changed for admissions, the competition is tough. Okay, okay. But you want to succeed. The truth is, if someone gave me a good reason to fail, I'd be happy. That's what you say unconsciously when you say "but." But if you say, "I don't care about the circumstances, I don't care. The child is sick, I'll save him. He's a little slow-witted, I'll give him extra lessons myself. I'm full of complexes. I'll fight. I can't express myself in public. Go, go, go, go, take a year at Cours Florent, it will help you." Did you understand or not? But you fight, you find ways, you create systems. Yes, but I have fears since I was little. Go do hypnosis, do therapy. That means that the only way to prove that you are aware of the debt is when you provide the means to repay it. But when you say "but," you get off the train, you get out of the car. So how do you expect to reach Dakar if in Paris, at the Paris-Dakar, you got out of the car? Who's going to make you get out of the car? The people who contradict you, the people who attack you, the people who pollute you, the toxic people. Are you following me or not? But only, once again, given that on one hand, you're told that the wise person is the one who learns from everyone, and on the other hand, the source of the greatest failure, the source of the greatest obstacle, is the other. So, how do we do it? I can't grow without the other, and it's the other who prevents me from growing. So, you'll be forced to learn to distinguish between people who make you grow and people who... who destroy you. Okay? Okay. Do you follow me or not? But for that, you need something to defend. You need to have a person of value inside. You need a diamond. But if you haven't built anyone inside, if you don't even have the value of your potential, if you haven't understood that you are a Ben Israel, you are a Bat Israel, you are the pride of this world. Yeah. So, automatically, it's your lack of personal value that will make it so that when the aggressor arrives, he can get in. Do you follow me or not? Because you need to know one thing: it's true that the existence of the executioner, somewhere, proves the existence of the victim. Do you follow me or not? So, when I am a victim, it means there is an executioner. Okay. So, I'll also give you a principle of Ben-Tzvi's thought: before being a victim of the executioner who is in front of you, you are already a victim of the executioner within you, who is the relay for the aggressions of the executioner who is in front of you. Do you want me to repeat it? Or there's the executioner in front of you, and there's you. So, you say, "victim, executioner, executioner, victim." But the executioner can only touch you because there is an executioner within you, who is part of you, who is the relay for the aggressions of the executioner who is in front of you. We call that "taking it to heart." Sometimes you say, "Yes, but it's normal, it's my father, it's my mother, it's my older brother. Okay, it's my boss, it's my professor." So, I've forced myself into a situation of insecurity to be able to receive the teaching. But on the other hand, the other one is crazy. So, I'm going to suffer. So, what does that mean? It means that you have to do a double job: a job of personal construction, personal solidification, personal valorization, so that you are made of concrete, you are made of tin. Yeah. But at the same time, you are malleable enough to evolve. So, if you are not built, if you are not built, it's not because the other person is mean that you are destabilized, it's because you are not built for it. I told you at the time this phrase from Menachem: I know tonight it was very Menachem. Listen carefully. The degree of penetration of external aggressions depends on the internal void. There are aggressions, there are crazy people, there are mean people, there are twisted people. Okay, okay, okay. Just like there's rain, just like there's wind, just like there's thunder. Okay. But why does it get into you? Well, I just told you, I met a crazy person. But why does it get into you? Yes, but you have to see the remarks she makes to me. But why does it get into you? Yes, but she constantly breaks me down. But why does it get into you? It's not because there are annoying people that you have to be annoyed. But precisely, I'm explaining to you that I get annoyed because people annoy me. But how can the other person from the outside get into your nervous system? It's very simple. It's a physical law. You take a baseball bat, you hit a rock. The baseball bat won't break the rock. However, you'll break your wrist because, in the shockwave, it bounces off the rock, which is full, and it goes back. And as it goes back, it breaks your wrist. On the other hand, you hit a vase. The vase is empty. So, the shockwave enters it to come out, it breaks the vase, and your wrist is fine. So, why did the shockwave enter? Because there was emptiness inside. Emptiness of what? Emptiness of you. That's why I told you earlier, but it's true that I'm very concise, and tonight I'm forcing myself to speak slowly because people tell me, "You go too fast. I have so many things to tell you. How will I catch up?" No, it's complicated. It's okay. That's why intelligent people tonight will let it pass. Tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, they'll get the course on YouTube. Yeah. Then they'll record it. You can record it, it's free. Then you'll write it down entirely, word for word. And then you'll break it down into 12 sequences, put it in an application, one sequence per month. And when you apply it, it means you'll measure the distance between you and what I'm saying at each step. And the distance between what I'm saying and you will give you a profile of your inner self. And at the same time, you'll have the tools to work, to move to the next step. So, that means that for me, without any false modesty, this course, if you want to integrate it, takes a year. That's why I love it when people say, "What's the theme?" "Why? Have you already listened to it?" Don't take it the wrong way. I have no, again, I have no prejudice of superiority over you. But me, the courses, I attend all of them. Do you understand? I attend all my courses. You'll say, "You're obliged." Listen, number, when I tell you I attend, it means I redo the course, I rethink the course, I re-measure myself against the course, and I evolve with the course. So, imagine, 35 years. You, it's the first time you're hearing it. Me, it's been 35 years. That's why it's so concise, it's so precise, it's so concentrated. But sometimes concentration makes you lose the mass. For sure. When you see a train passing in front of you, you can't count the atoms. But if you stop, you say, "Stop. We're going to take slices, and we're going to use each step." Yeah. But my therapists tell me, "They tell me nothing." But in a course, there's 10 years of therapy. You're sick, you're making us unemployed. But again, you can continue to wait for the next joke. "Oh, tonight he wasn't very funny." And then, "I came for the food, there's not enough." So, you can, it's possible, everything is possible. Why? Because in the same way that Hashem makes us a proposal called life, in the same way, I make you a proposal called the course. After that, the degree of teaching, the degree of evolution, and the degree of maturity that you will have in relation to the course is exactly inversely proportional to the degree of penetration of the aggression. So, I give you tools to be whole. When you are whole, you measure the impact of the aggressions. But if you are not built, the aggressions will enter, they will break everything. Okay. Okay. Now, today it's a trial, tomorrow it's a spouse, the day after tomorrow it's a child, the day after that it's a boss. Now, obviously, there's the labor court, there's... you can sue him for harassment, you can... But you'll always ask yourself the question: why do tigers, despite their power, not attack female rhinos? Because the lion, the tiger, is 2 meters tall, yeah. He weighs 250 kg. With each bite, he removes 10 kg of meat. And yet, when the female rhino is next to her young, the tiger leaves because he knows that in anger, she will disembowel him with her front horn. So, you decide: are you sheep hanging on a tree waiting to be devoured, or are you female rhinos, fighters, bosses, tzaddikim, comets? You have to decide. That's all. Now, when you've decided, you have to give yourself the means. So, the decision takes a second, the means take 10 years. But again, you're not obliged. We need consumers, concerned people, convinced people, contributors. You'll find the common factor. Yeah. Or no. You say, "No, I don't want to be an idiot." Or, in the same way that when you have a debt, the only proof of your honesty is that you provide the means to repay it. The way. The day you understand that you have a debt towards Hashem because He gave you life, that you have a debt towards your spouse because she gave you her trust, that you have a debt towards your children because you are supposed to be a role model, father, role model. Yeah. Well, it's the awareness of the debt that allows access to the means. Like Dirafrim Schmovit, "He who doesn't find the money to repay is because, in fact, he hasn't really taken responsibility for the repayment." So, the one who allows himself to get worked up and argue for 15 years with his wife because she doesn't agree, because we're not this, because we don't have the same level of religion, it's because he hasn't realized that when he said "Areh'at me'ukha" (I will make you happy), it meant "I will make you happy, whatever the circumstances." No, not the debt. The debt is good because it engages. Do you follow me or not? People don't want debt, so they don't commit. Like people who say, "You know, I don't want to do Teshuvah because I'm afraid I'll fall again." But you're already at the bottom. How can you fall lower? I prefer not to borrow, not to repay, I prefer not to become one, and then because becoming one, and then not applying the vow. The vow is a promise, the vow is a challenge, it's a challenge. The Mitzvah is a challenge. Life is a challenge. All of life is challenges. Besides, there are girls and boys. Okay? Now, when you take the risk of failing, you take the risk of succeeding. That's why risky investments at the bank yield much more than guaranteed investments. You have a little money, you go to the Caisse d'Épargne, you buy a savings book. It's called a savings book because when you see what you earned at the end of the year, you say "Ah!" At the beginning, it was called "livr quoi?" 22,000 euros immobilized for 1 year, and I earned 72 euros. But buy potatoes, a cart, and sell fries outside, you'll make 1000 euros a day. Did you understand or not? Yes, but it's risky. Everything is risky. Even being intelligent is risky. Even being happy is risky. Being married is risky. Even having children is risky. But it's an investment that pays off because it's risky. Why? Because risk, in any case, taking risks, is the expression of maturity. Whereas fleeing risk is the expression of immaturity. So, Aba, what was the point of this life if you didn't take the risk of becoming yourself, if you didn't take the risk of becoming a tzaddik, if you didn't take the risk of becoming a tzadeket, if you didn't take the risk of becoming a good person? So, what's the point of having a life without risk? Yeah. But I remind you, for those who are not aware, that every year we have the Miss Universe and Miss World elections. But the day we have the elections for Miss Kin (poor person), there will be candidates. So, don't be a miskin. Yeah. We're not obliged to all be religious, but it's forbidden to be stupid, to be blind, to have no ambition. If your ambition is to finish the saga on Netflix, if your ambition is to find a unit that makes you fly higher than yesterday's, it's a shame. If your ambition is to eat only pizza, it's a shame. Because in the end, you become an orifice that is filled with toilets. That was the project. Then you're surprised that you're bored in your life. You need ambition. You need ambition. Yeah. Ambition is the engine. Ambition is what? It's to reach "Tov," which is complete. But again, when you enter a situation, when you confront it, automatically there are people who are not on the same wavelength as you. So, they will feel threatened by your attempts at existence. So, they will be jealous, or they will be uncomfortable, or they will think it's directed at them, or that it's destroying them, when you've done nothing other than exist. You'll say, "Yes, but on the other hand, it's complicated because if the project is to love, and loving is coexisting, yeah, to exist, to coexist, you have to exist." So, I'll tell you the secret. The secret is that you must have a project. First, the first project is to exist. That's your first project. There's a second project, yeah, called to coexist. There's a third project called to make exist. There's a fourth project called to accompany existence. But you can't start from the end. It's that if you don't exist, don't try to make others exist. That's called Mother Teresa. It's very dangerous. Yeah. Don't try to make someone do Teshuvah who has 17 months of June in his calendar. You say, "But I've done seminars, I'll bring him back to the Torah." No, he'll take you to Gehennom. There are specialized Rabbis, he'll take care of him. And you say, "Well, yes, but I feel like she's my soulmate." And your sister? Well, you'll wait for her to evolve, you'll wait for her to be a good guy. And you say, "No, I'm taking her now, and I'll help her." But you haven't understood. When you support him, have you ever seen a guy sitting in a wheelchair doing rehabilitation? If someone pushes him, why will he do it? Whereas when you apply this extraordinary blessing called "Debrassek" (get yourself out of it), "figure it out," because they come to me, even people who are not married. [Musique] You understand? We argue about this. Wait, wait. Yes, but she's too religious. Yes, but I need to do this at my own pace. So, she says, "Yes, but my parents, my father is a Rabbi. How can I do this with a guy who eats bacon with pizza?" I say, "But I have a question, young lady. How is it that you went to find this boy?" She says, "Yeah, but the religious ones are too rigid, they're too... they're sad. He's funny, he's nice, he does improv." Okay, okay. But he has other needs that will have to be paid for in kind. How do you feel in the role of the charmer? Okay. You, what did you go get? A religious girl? Yeah. But Rabbi, you know, I was a student of Rabbi David Getta, the Rabbi of Ibiza. Hasan, he's very well known. And I was in all his seminars, all his evenings. And what did we take? What did we eat? What did we smoke? And I know some people get ecstatic. But and all the girls we did things with. But now I want a serious girl, I want a girl from a good family. You have to be at that level. No, you have to know. Listen, you boys, don't think there are girls for fun and girls for marriage. Be aware. You still have to ask yourself the question: in which category are you? Yes, because there are the marriageable, the disposable, or a one-night stand. Yeah. And you say, "I can't. I'm a diamond." Have you ever seen a guy go into Boucheron and say, "Don't you have something pointy?" Because I have a little bit of salad left. At Boucheron, sir. Yes, but you need something a bit big, and a bit pointy. This one, for example, sir, 232,000 euros, 21 carats. Ah, no, a toothpick. So, you go to the street vendor. Ah, you're calling me "tu." Yeah. You don't have a brain. So, you go to the street vendor, you ask for toothpicks. You can take 100. Go ahead, have fun. You know what? I'll give them to you. The other one is not a toothpick, it's a person. But again, you know why you consider the other person not as a person? Because you yourself don't consider yourself as a person. All the sins, all the mistakes we make, and all that we endure, comes from the fact that we don't have personal value. Because if you are a diamond, yeah, if you are, again, a Bat Israel, you are a Ben Israel, if you are intelligent, if you have a project, if you are going to go far in your life, if you see your family in balance, in purity, in holiness, you see in dialogue, in communion. But Baba, you can't start from there and arrive.

To to there it's impossible you say why not but that's why we invented Cinderella the blonde one it's made for that it's to make people dream so the other one she's thrown in the cellar doing the dishes the other one arrives the white knight the charming prince she was sleeping it's normal that he he had to kiss her she was sleeping so if God wills you too you will wake up you will stop dreaming while listening to songs you will say I want a super boy I have to become super I want a balanced boy I have to be balanced I want a sadquette girl I have to be sadque not necessarily you know sometimes God does weird things yes yes yes you're confusing with Arthur it's not the same religion yeah bille it's not shoot you know one day he came to my place he told me RAM Chetrit here I've been engaged for 3 years they have an incredible capacity for longevity in hesitations he told me listen I'm going to break the marriage I'm going to cancel the marriage why he says because my girlfriend we went to a barmv she already came dressed super short it's a collection called string so you could see everything she got on the table she started dancing like crazy she moved everywhere she says well it's a lack of modesty I say okay I excuse me I just have one question you are Ch Shabbat he tells me no Shalom ben I say then you are the same except that for you it's in Shabbat and for her it's in modesty so her Sonara is to show herself and your Sonara is to go play tennis on Saturday afternoon so you are at the same level but not in the same field now to understand that the other one is at the same level as you you have to know yourself or not if you find yourself trying to manipulate someone it means that the other one is manipulable and that you are manipulated by your Satan now for you to be manipulated by your Satan you have to be absent from yourself since you don't have perspective on yourself for the adult in you to take care of the child in you so in fact you are immature all your life it's like that it means that in fact we spend our whole lives making choices exceeding limits growing up becoming adults what we call sadikim yes by overcoming the trial or what is the trial it's the proposition of the yserara but again once you call it ysara whether you call it neurosis whether you call it an opportunity to fail whether it's the capacity to sink into temptation of lying you can call it whatever you want but again we cannot grow if we don't have the opportunity to fail so you will always have the opportunity to fail and what do you do you justify the fact that you fail because you had the opportunity to fail but you know why because of yes because if you had said yes I am growing yes but the other one proposes that I be small you see when you said yes the other one proposes that I be small you did it but so it broke your momentum to be big yes I know that truth is important but sometimes with lies we gain time so your life is based on lies yes I know that money not only expensive it brings only problems but on the other hand the other one earns 2700 € per month the other one earns 2700 € per day wait that's not comparable but that's the trap Baba remember that the mouse sees the cheese it says wait it's [Music] minimal before the trap cuts its head Did you understand or not but there is the cheese it's there so you say wait the girl is magnificent besides she is very simple she is very open-minded by the way and she winks at me how will I miss this opportunity but young Beb your mother cried over you to have you for 8 years Your father did tagnot for you to be born they conceived you in kedoucha and you are going to dip your brush in a pot of paint under the pretext that it is pretty do you think it's Vera no it's your lack of ambition it's your lack of value that's why you are forced to become a good person and that is called in Hebrew do good and good we said it's complete but at the same time stay away from evil now what is evil it says Leal to have something that has no end that has no meaning now if you find yourself doing things saying things thinking things that you know bring you nothing that will bring you problems and that you know that they and that they are useless to you but you do them anyway because it's stronger than you that's called evil but if there are things that are hard that are not easy that will take years that sometimes you have to question yourself you have to break your nerves you have to break your pride and it hurts your stomach but you feel that you are growing it's good because you feel that you have grown when you did it so it's exactly the same you will meet people again who are mean who are toxic so first thing you check is your protection system in place are your protection walls in place are you full inside are you full are you clear do you respect yourself if you are not at that level leave immediately you say no I'm going to do it it's okay I'm not going to let myself be done you will come out damaged leave avoid conflict avoid the encounter because you will come out destroyed maybe destroyed yes but if you are built you have done this work yes and normally akadash Barou is kind because he always sends you the trial that is adapted to your person so that means that even when you meet someone mean yes why is the mean person mean because the kind person is kind it means that the strength of the strong is often the weakness of the weak because deep down the mean person it's impossible yeah but now they are mean physically they hit good it's a RA yeah a Kaira yeah if he is mean with words it's called la celui qui se grandit en rabaissant l'autre or if you count on the person or if you value the person we said it will hurt you a lot but if you have created a heaviness filter so you see the information coming you have perspective on the situation and you protect yourself you say but I don't want like I said once in a class on anger when you are 14 years old and someone speaks to you badly you want to kill him when you are 20 years old you are annoyed but when you are 40 years old and the guy wants to mess with you you laugh it makes you laugh yes I have a golden deal you give me 10000 € in 6 months I'll give you 5000 50% interest yes but because you're a friend I'm really doing it for you we know each other I almost married your sister but you're my brother-in-law you want to mess with me you laugh you laugh you say no I'm going to get angry I'm going to kill him I'm going to headbutt him but no you laugh now the fact that you manage to laugh proves the perspective you have on the situation Did you understand or not because again if you want to kill him it means he touched your essence if you are annoyed it's because he manages to make you shiver but if you laugh it means you have gone beyond the shiver you have gone beyond the annoyance you have gone beyond the intention of murder and you laugh you know what you make me laugh so that means you are autonomous so that means you are built so you are free because if your life is a series of reactions it means that the other by acting makes you react so that means that the master of your action is the other because you react obviously I know what you're telling me yes but there are words that hurt a lot okay there are faces that are aggressive there are reproaches there are barbs there are taunts there are public mockeries it's hard it's very hard seriously I know why it's hard because you haven't yet reached existential autonomy you must exist by yourself before God when you exist by yourself before God the other is a proposition but when you don't exist the other is an aggression Do you understand or not it means that the toxic one she only has strength in your weakness if it's someone you can avoid you avoid them yes if it's someone you married you work if it's someone who gave birth to you it means that good God calculated in your Maal you will have an influence like that but it will change you must optimize this relationship what will I do with you you know one day I told someone he tells me yes but rave in my life I have only met mean people I have but that's good because you know what not to do is that the day you find yourself doing the same thing as them you know that you have failed since you know what not to do now you have to learn what to do which is not necessarily the opposite of what they did my rave smoked a lot well four packs of red malbau a day that's a lot I've never smoked a cigarette in my life never I learned I learned my father ate very fast I learned to eat slowly you can learn from the mistakes of others what else will say the opposite no if my fume you know why I smoke because my Rav smoked but the other is a proposition so the other is annoying I'm not necessarily annoyed the other speaks badly I'm not obliged to take it to heart the other wants to define me I'll say he knows me that one the other wants to tease me in public I'll come let's laugh I also have humor maybe you're the one who's going to die today you know when I was young I was a bit frail but at school the goy school everyone was afraid of me because I had reparties I had jokes the guy was sick for a week well I defended myself with my weapons the other was war of the mountain one day I was doing the nail in class well one day it means it was at every class and it was during gym class so the gym teacher what does he want he wants to make me aarchuma he stops the class he says finally he says well what will become of you later so I look at him I say at worst we'll make a gym teacher he hasn't recovered to this day he had a nervous breakdown like that like I need a hole to die but it's too soon well it's an example but what does that mean it means that intellectual speed gives humor and humor and intellectual speed give the capacity for repartie now you can use it again to defend yourself yes you can use it to attack it's complicated not to use it yes like intelligence if you are intelligent and you are sad you will have a very big depression if you are stupid and you are sad you will have a small small anxiety well yes because when the computer is powerful and the virus enters it destroys everything while if it's a slow computer yes so that means that every tool every capacity you can use it or suffer it well it's exactly the same when you know that there are people in that direction yes there are people who exist again you have to armor yourself sometimes I had Shalom bait where the wife is pregnant I say yes but rave he makes remarks he pricks me he speaks badly to me I say listen madam I'm going to give you a secret you are pregnant she tells me yes because with something like that it can't be aerophagia I say listen you are responsible for the child in your womb so you have to protect him because everything you feel is inscribed in the womb it is inscribed in the child so you will have to armor yourself to be strong I say now there are people who were pregnant some gave birth in the Warsaw ghetto how did the children come out normal because the mothers protected them now think we are all pregnant with someone since we are pregnant with the person we are becoming so the person of next year you are carrying her this year so every year you give birth to yourself in the same way that the mother must protect the child from aggression in the same way you must protect yourself from aggression so you can turn a deaf ear you can use the logic of denigration you can especially not give credit because when you give credit to the aggressor it hurts it's known when you get punched in the stomach you must not block your abs because it will burst your spleen you must be firm at first and then accompany the blow in the penetration of the body and at that moment it will be okay you will hurt but you will not be injured by it it's exactly the same you accept the event you accompany the event and you use the event instead of suffering the event and not only will you not be weak but you will come out strong the GOs say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger yes but again what is dying it's taking a bullet to the head why the guy who is not dying is accepting the situation accompanying the situation assuming the situation for that I killed my pride I killed my susceptibility I killed my nerves when I killed my nerves I become calm when I killed my hatred I become peaceful when I killed my desire to victimize myself I become a fighter so it's death that made me live understand so what do people do they are attacked they die that's it but I'm dead I'm dead but what now I'm dead already they see it coming I'm dead I knew someone a long time ago 30 years ago he was like that really I mean 30 kg wet the thugs were afraid of him since he was attacked at the time by 4 5 6 7 people in the housing projects there in Lyon but he was so crazy yes that he was afraid of nothing he fought he would break everyone the guys who said leave him alone that one is crazy it means what he has gone beyond his fear or not the opposite and well fear paralyzes you yes it's known fear and especially for people who have taken Spanish nationality since they panic yes when they panic they are paralyzed you say but even fighter pilots are afraid even soldiers are afraid even R gasin are afraid yes but again if you suffer your fear it paralyzes you if you use your fear it creates what is called hyperconsciousness and indemonstrable hyperconsciousness nothing can be done to you so what does that mean it means that again on both sides on one hand I protect myself on my rat I move away I see that the person is weird no need to waste time don't stay a year 2 years with someone who has ups and downs who is unstable who is missing who cheats it's not worth it in a month you understand you leave go hop don't waste yes because the problem is that you stay you increase your level of patience you increase love and now that you are in love you say well it's okay I'll swallow the posts no no remember remember the band-aid with the Italian chest no there are only new ones you take you imagine the strength of the image yes an Italian with a wide hairy chest the hairy Italian and there's a guy who tells him you know if you want I'll give you 20 € we'll do an experiment which one I'll give you a band-aid that is 20 cm wide and 60 cm long he says okay you stick it on yourself yes for 20 €. the guy says ok ok 20 € it's if he does it it's won the problem is that at the moment you stick the band-aid at the limit it's soft it's nice it's a caress but when you want to remove the band-aid that the band-aid has impregnated the skin it has absorbed the hair and that it has adhered well you will die well it's exactly the same Christine it's like a band-aid when you associate with it it's soft and when your mother tells you it's her or me you will die to remove it why did you adhere you saw that he was not clear you saw that he had strange intentions you saw that he was lying you caught him twice three times don't waste time yes but he has the right to do teshuva no why how many lives do you have I see people they tell me listen 15 years of marriage 15 years wasted but when you were engaged he tells me yes I know you told me he wasn't for me people come to me I'm not a scanner but he comes I ask 3 4 5 6 questions I see the guy doesn't hold up I listened madam miss you are you are not adapted no but it's okay I'll help him as you wish you shouldn't have come and then 15 years later child ec rab ch not with my sister he touched my daughter the older one I told you he smelled rotten he smelled rotten rotten you see a guy you smell it's funny there's a corpse no it's him you smell people because whether you are great psychoanalysts and good God has given you the power of analysis or whether you are intuitive and good God says attention danger but at one point or another for you to have free will you will be warned the problem is to listen to the alarm signal there had to be someone inside who was interested but if you haven't built your personal self-worth then there's no one inside to say it's not for me if you want no it's like people who tell me yes but anyway rave I have nothing to lose and that's your problem anyway I don't care I have nothing to lose but 10 years of marriage anyway one lost 10 to find take off your ring go to a singles party try to place yourself with your belly and your baldness we'll see if it's easy Mr Aldo in fact it's marlouf yes so what does that mean what did I want to say the jokes that makes you lose control what was I saying just before just before no that's it we're done we've taken off well thanks to God yes with half of the yeah what did I want to say what did I I need help I'm alone I don't know it's gone well it wasn't important what matters well now it's good it's been 1 hour 40 so now you're on the verge of praying for me to choke so you understood that when I build myself up when I work on my joy when I regenerate my joy reservoir when I work on my personal self-worth when I do important things that give value when I feel good in my religion because I will have a direct dialogue with God when I master my yer when I will not do things that I will regret when I will avoid acts that are not pretty and that make me feel bad and situations where I feel dirty and rotten and polluted so what did I do did you understand I capitalized ah yes I have nothing to lose thankfully there is one who is following so people come to me I say listen you have four children you have to fight I say I have nothing left to lose I say but you personally but you can't let yourself go like that and smoke joints and go into the coke and everything and nothing at school but I have nothing to lose yes but listen it's your spouse finally it's your child you can take care of him okay he's been expelled from all schools I don't care I have nothing left to lose so the real problem is that you have nothing to lose Do you follow me or not if you have worked for 10 years to create this company and thanks to God you are going public this year and a guy comes and makes you a sposation changes the papers he takes the company you will kill him why because you created the company so you have something to lose if you have built yourself up you have valued yourself you are solid you are clear you are good in front of in front so you have something to lose because there is someone so that means that someone who divorces easily is because he has not built his couple so he has nothing to lose that's why I tell young youngana they are at the Roua like this I tell them now chrono he says what chrono I say chrono go ahead go ahead this year this year kindness gentleness investment fulfillment understanding the CF routes self-questioning prayer understanding the other in intimacy bringing him the best all this year you will capitalize capitalize capitalize capitalize so that when Satan comes to cause trouble he will say you know what send him away and well call him rotten you can't why listen because you have something to lose but what does serara do we are married we are cool religious or not religious in fact we enjoy the time we have fun we go to the cinema yes but we don't build we don't build the day a crisis comes yes well the other one in a holy collar met a girl well well it's true he's a collar but well it's everywhere okay and the other one it's the same she says well she wanted to lose weight so much well she has lost 40 kg since she lost 40 kg she thinks she's a star she wants to live her life she should never have married you she'll go clubbing and everything what happened what happened is that you hadn't capitalized it's exactly the same with Hashem if you create a relationship of proximity a relationship of love a relationship of fear a relationship of purity and you have in your head you have Sadik you don't have to salt you have a prayer that is well done every day and you put on your tefillin properly okay and you protect yourself and you grow and you have the chain at home and he comes and says hey the neighbor is an info mer what I have gold bars at home and you propose that I go get dirty in the garbage can because her husband is not there again why won't I do it because I have the counterweight so you have to have something to lose in the same way when the other one will attack you when the other one will speak badly to you yes you will listen to him you will hear him you will tell him but here I can't but why because I have something to lose Do you understand or not so you understood that it's a perpetual work of assov that is to say of building my fullness of becoming a person of value as quickly as possible and at the same time s my ras of protecting myself of pushing away really too weird people then people I can't push away because they are my parents so learning to kosherize to use that is to take the good from their bad yes again because if he is very nervous I will learn calmness yes if he is very a liar I will learn truth but if I am too young and therefore I cannot defend myself it will take a miracle for me to avoid suffering the influence and the day I become aware then I will do this work with a therapist with a r with myself to kosherize listen carefully to kosherize that the negative that I have absorbed I can turn it into strength and positivity you know I already have people who had very very very very very mean parents I say listen they are your parents okay they gave birth to you okay we say yes but I couldn't I did 10 years of therapy I still have traumas I still have fears I still have anxieties I have nightmares no the event is an event okay when you get slapped it hurts for 20 minutes it burns but if 2 years later you are still bad it's because you have maintained it so you must not be complicit with your executioner now you must not be in denial of reality either an executioner is an executioner ah now the executioner has aged now life has passed maybe the executioner is dead and people tell me but how do I do how will I do the kibouav of someone who was so twisted listen carefully to what I say listen carefully you know what you are going to do you are going to go on Sat you are going to talk to him you are going to insult him you are going to spit if you can even you are going to pee better it's affinity and then you are going to cry and you are going to reconcile and then you accept that maybe he was sick and at worst he was clumsy so people say yes but wait you want me to judge positively someone who destroyed me no I'm not telling you to make him sadik I'm just asking you to stop the bleeding of the suffering he created at the time and which continues to flood you today Did you understand or not he is as he is he was as he was but I will stop being the victim because again the executioner only exists because there is a victim the victim only exists because there is an executioner now when the executioner is no longer present or is no longer active or is no longer in existence yes how is it that I still have the impact it means that I am more interested in my status as a victim than in my status as a free person now there are other people who were in the same family as this monster they became very strong they even became therapists for this type of case and you came out a broken victim with no confidence in yourself you fell into prostitution in the hope of receiving a little tenderness that your father did not give you that's why you always meet people who are 15 years older than you now why did the sister come out strong and become positive and a therapist and you came out weak and in pieces so you understand that it's not the event it's what you do with the event what you do with the encounter what you do so when I tell you you will reconcile and you will say at worst he was clumsy again it's not to make him kosher that he has now become sadik no it's because you have two burdens there you have a burden called your father and a burden called your mother now these two burdens can be engines if you had balanced parents who gave you love who gave you ambition they will be engines but if they are dead weights you will drag them all your life so what do you do you kosherize the negative you make the positive so that you can continue to live and especially that you will not pollute your couple your family all the men in the world by making amalgamations by doing like that it means that we have this capacity bar to be to do we can transform the bad into good if we use it we can do it like there are people who have everything to be happy and who divorce because they have transformed the good into bad the other has an intelligent child what does he do he breaks him because he is afraid that the child will realize that he is useless I say no if the child is intelligent it's an opportunity for you to grow take advantage of it go work study ask questions evolve with him it's good because the child is the accelerator of maturity that you did not want to assume so you braked like crazy and he is forced to grow you married someone who wants you to grow so take advantage of it no it annoys me I don't have the head we don't have the same principles and then you won't make me change my parents didn't succeed my teacher didn't succeed in what will you remain stupid if you meet someone who wants you to evolve but say thank you kachem he sent you the medicine for your illness called psychorigidity or not continue to remain stupid and after the divorce I had a crazy wife but what a fool I was oh my god how many times I heard it millions of times and I told people I say listen you are in crisis you are in discomfort you are in conflict but one day if God wills you will divorce and you will go out into the street and you will start comparing you will say but wait my husband was great okay well he was a bit more religious okay my wife was a bit more nervous okay my husband he didn't want to explain he was a bit silent okay there were flaws of course there are differences but again if you had used these differences to create fusion because water and flour are not alike but fusion makes bread you can use the difference the student again is not at the same level as the master but how does the student grow thanks to the master okay but how does the master increase his intelligence thanks to the student Did you understand or not so the difference can be experienced as a source of complex or can be experienced as an aggression it can be experienced as an opportunity so decide what you want to do with your life that's what I said at the beginning of the class yes it's that in fact it's the state of mind the psychological terrain the level of belief the capacity to assume a reality that will make this reality positive or negative it's as you wish while people do the opposite they don't take the preliminary yes they take the event and the event is negative it's negative the event is positive it's positive while that's false if you are upstream if you are in perspective if you are an adult yes and well every event you will decide what you will do with it and from every event we can do good that's gamzou lesva that's also for Tov and we said what is it for completing col Avid rahamana les TAV everything God does is for Tov so it's to complete so I understood that I want to become Tove now to become tove well you have to dig and you have to and well yes I'll give you one last example then I'll leave you alone you go to Florence you look at Michelangelo's David have you seen it or not the real one is 6 meters high it's huge you have to understand one thing don't take it badly I love you all you have supported me for 2 hours at first Michelangelo was brought a block of marble do you follow me or not that was 8 meters high and was 1 meter by 1.50 do you know how many hammer blows he made do you know how small a hammer he used do you know how many file strokes he made do you know how much sandpaper he passed when you see that but it's so well done you do this a little with your eyes you say he's going to get up he's going to walk he's going to advance he has reached the human trait how from a square block you say he was an artist at botaille we are blocks of marble at the start square all the same then life will carve but the acceptance of the hammer reveals the facet the acceptance of the file reveals the curve the acceptance of the sandpaper creates the polishing so how did you become a perfect person because of all that it's true that it can hurt but remember that weight training is torture well yes it's because it hurts that your muscles grow becoming intelligent is torture it's because your head hurts that your brain develops studying is torture but since your project is big so you will undergo all these steps it doesn't bother you building a couple is torture because there will be all these confrontations all these tears all these nerves all these stresses but BEM when you see that your couple is built it is balanced and that there is complicity there is promiscuity there is solidarity you forget all the blows you took when you see that the child is educated he is built he is autonomous you don't care about the repetitions and the fuss and the thousands of diapers you changed because you reached a result so the secret is that we can be in the mud but we think about the project we think about the goal we can go through everything in French it's called the ideal now remember that realists are pessimistic and idealists are optimistic so you just have to decide if you want to be optimistic or pessimistic that's raro

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