Transcription
What is going on beautiful folks? Lee hammock, your favorite self-aware, diagnosed narcissist here with another episode of "A Narcissist Explains." Y'all, today we're answering the question: Do narcissists have a favorite supply? Is there a favorite form or person that the narcissist favors over others and whatnot?
Before we hop too deep into today's episode, y'all, if you haven't already, make sure that you go check out my website. It's at mentalillness.net. Right here on the screen, right here, coaching, courses, everything is available at mentalillness.net. Yes, yes, yes, y'all.
So, narcissistic people, do they have a favorite supply? What do you think? I know the answer to a lot of people's questions. Gonna be like, "Well, yep, yes, Lee, they have a favorite supply. I was am it. I was am that person. I was am me." Right? What's going on? Welcome to the live. To live. Uh, hi, hi, hi. What's up?
Um, but yeah, there are a lot of people who will just understand that you might have been the narcissist's favorite supply. You might still be the narcissist's favorite supply. Now, let me preface this: if you happen to be the narcissist's favorite supply, it is not necessarily a good thing. I'll say it. I'll say it just like that. It is not necessarily a good thing that you are the narcissist's favorite supply. You know why? Because that means they were, it's less likely that they will leave you alone, right? It's less likely that they will mess with you and do all this type of stuff. It's less likely that they will come into your life. It's less likely. I mean, not less likely they to come into your life, it's less likely that they will leave get out of your life, right? It's less likely. What's going on, Scy? It's less likely. So you don't... Who said that right there? Lulu, you. Yeah, you'll be, you are dulu if you want to be the narcissist's favorite supply. If that supply is a person, you might be dulu. You may. It's a perfect name. I know that's not your name and what it stands for, uh, but that's how it is though. So many people, some people want to be the narcissist's supply, right? Some people out there actively want to be the narcissist's favorite supply. This is what they, you know, this is what they're after and whatnot. This is what they seek. They seek to be the favorite person in that narcissist's life. And there's a lot of, hey, let's be real, there's a lot of different things, a lot of different avenues that people are going. There's a lot of different things that people are going through when you want this to happen, right? You, like I said, I'm not calling you crazy. I'm not saying that anything's wrong with you, that you're messed up in the head. I'm just saying you might want to go talk to a therapist about why you want this person in your life, regardless of the quality of treatment, the quality of behaviors that they're demonstrating towards you. Because at the end of the day, that's absolutely important. Sorry, y'. Um, but it's absolutely important that you understand why you want to be the narcissist's favorite supply or whatever the case may be.
But I'll say this as well, y'all. The narcissist's favorite supply doesn't necessarily get preferential treatment. You know, if the new supply is a supply is a person, then it doesn't mean that you get preferential treatment over everybody else, right? That's not what that means. It's absolutely not what that means. It sometimes it just means that they feel like they own you. You belong to them, right? And they cannot feel like, and they cannot, in their minds, they can't grasp the fact that you might not want to be with them anymore. So some of them could absolutely lose their damn minds if you go out and find somebody else, or you will go out, if you're in a dating app, if you're doing anything, if you look at another person, they come get your ass, right? If you, if you're together or not, they come out there and they try to get your ass because they feel like you belong to them. How dare you go out here and find somebody else? Even, yeah, even if they have a new supply. How crazy is that? They can, y'all, they can absolutely have an affair on you, leave your ass for somebody else, right? Leave you for someone else and to try to come back into your life in some way, shape, or form, refuse to try to let you move on, hold you hostage because they don't want to see you. See, they don't want you to be giving that sweet, sweet validation to anybody else. They don't want to see you giving that to anybody else. They can't imagine that, and the thought of it makes them go crazy. Even if they have somebody else, even if they have an entirely new family, even if they're married and moved on, it is, it's crazy as hell sometimes with that mindset, with that mentality. I try to tell people this, like, it's an absolutely mind-blowing, right? It's absolutely mind-blowing. Like I said, they won't leave you alone. Like if you are the narcissist's favorite supply, and if, like I said, you might not, like they could have moved on. This could be years later, y'all hear me? This could be years down the road. Y'all might not have dated or been, y'all could be divorced for years, years, years, and they still try to come back into your life in some way, shape, or form to be disruptive, to be an agent of chaos, because they want your life to be hard. Even if they left you, the narcissist's favorite supply does not get preferential treatment. It just does not. What's going on? It just does not. It doesn't mean that you get preferential treatment in any way, shape, or form. It just means that they feel like that you, you belong to them even more. They claim ownership over you even more, and they keep doing stuff like this over and over again because they feel like it's direct benefit, benefit to it.
Thank everybody for hopping on the live. If y'all just joined the live, hit that like button, drop a comment in the comment section or whatever. We're going to be doing a question and answer at the end. A pretty decent-sized question to answer today because I got, I got a little time today. Um, but like I said, the new supply, the narcissist's favorite supply doesn't have to be a person. And this is just my own perspective on this. Dr. The new supply, their favorite supply doesn't have to be another human being. It could be their social media platforms, right? If you're talking to a narcissistic person, a toxic person with a pretty decent-sized social media following, they could get supply from that. They could value that. They could treasure that, right? Imagine you're married to a narcissist that has a pretty large platform on TikTok, and TikTok gets taken away. They're probably losing their damn minds right now, right? TikTok is supposed to be getting banned tonight, right? So, so in this space right here, in their minds, they feel like they're losing their supply. They feel like they're out of this, out of their control, and they're, they can lose their damn minds in this space right here. They could absolutely do that. So in order to protect yourself, like I said, you have, I'm not telling you to give them more supply, more validation, but this is what you, you sometimes you're not competing against another person. Sometimes you're competing against something that you really can't compete against. There's no way in hell that you can supply them the way a, a large social media platform can, or not even a large one, a moderately large one, you know, where they're getting likes and validation from. You can't compete with that. They sometimes they can value their social media platform above you. They absolutely can. They can say, "Hey, look, I care about you, but I'm not deleting my Instagram. I need my Instagram. I need it. That's why I keep all my friends and family at. That's why don't talk to me like that, blah, blah." Um, shout out to Tiny Biscuit for the donation to the channel. I appreciate it. All donations are appreciated. Y'. Um, mine had a whole side piece, supposed stalker, but I was looking at men in public. Yeah, the double standards exist. They, the double standards exist. I can have, I can have something or someone. You can't do the same thing. I make the rules. I make the rules here. Tiny Biscuit, you're Tiny Biscuit. I'm Big Muffin. I make the, I'm sorry, dad joke. I'm, I'm 40. I'm almost. Give me a break. Um, but I make the rules here. We don't go, we don't compete. We don't, you don't compare. But shout out to for the not to the channel. Um, Shima said, "You're so right about the platform, though." Yes. Yeah, it, it doesn't have to be a huge platform. It can just be a social media platform where they're getting validation from, where people are clapping for them and cheering them on and things like that, right? This, it doesn't have to be a huge platform. It can just be something minute, something small, but they're still getting narcissistic supply from it, right? The favorite supply could be a person. Could be a person. Could be a platform. Could be a job, y'all. It could be a job. It could be a hobby. Whatever gets, whatever or wherever they get the most validation. Big Muffin, whatever they get the most validation from, that's going to be the biggest, that's going to be the, the, the favorite supply, right? And it can change. It can shift. Their rank in the military. Thank you, goodness gracious, beloved KB, shout out to you for that right there. The military. If they're a high-ranking official or just in the military in general, they can feel like a soldier. They, "Hey, I'm serving this country." [ __ ] you. And they can just start cussing you out and just feel like they're above you, regardless, regardless of how they're treating you. They can just use the military like, "I'm just telling you." Sometimes, yeah, first responders, absolutely. Like, yeah, those, like, so the military, the military narcissist, the first responders, those are what people refer to as, um, what's the name? Um, my mind just went blank. Those are communal narcissists, right? Communal narcissists where they, they appear to be good people in public, to the public eye and whatnot, but behind the scenes, they're horrible ass people. They're devils, pretty much, right? They're devilish. They're devils. They do all this devilish stuff and whatnot. Communal narcis. You got it right, Bessy. They're communal narcissists. They get supply from being the doctor or the lawyer that saves people, or they run a nonprofit organization, or they're, um, a firefighter, a police officer, teacher. Yep, teacher. Uh, what else? It like, um, they do some other stuff. Pastor at the church. The pastor. Yeah, I just, this right here, I know a lot of y'all might be religious, but the pastor, the, the religious narcissists probably are some of the worst people on the planet. I'll just say that right there. The religious narcissist, because they know how people, how, how deep people get steeped in their faith and whatnot. The religious narcissist, the religious toxic ass pastors, they are the worst people on the planet, some of them. They absolutely will you. They just absolutely are. There's no ifs, ands, or buts about that. We can argue about, argue with your mama, or argue with, go argue with your pastor, right? Go argue with your congregation because that's just, that's just, that's just true right there, right? Um, but like I said, it just, what's who, right? Tiny Biscuit, what, why did, why that does that make them? Yeah, it makes them feel important. It makes them feel above. It makes them feel like, if getting some good narcissistic supply from their job or their career, their career choice. Hell yeah, they feel important. Hell yeah, they feel above everybody. Hell yeah, they absolutely feel above everybody in this space right here. This absolutely happens. They absolutely feel above you, above everybody in this space. Like, "I'm better than you because I have this career." Professional athletes, or just semi-professional athletes, people that are good at stuff, right? Good, good night. April Morgan, what's going on, girl? Good night. Take care. Be safe. Take care, girl. Take care. Um, but this is the space that you fall into, you know? I'll answer this question a little bit. I'm gonna save that question. I'm gonna hit you right there, just like political figures, just in general. I'm just saying, political figures in general, absolutely yes. Because somebody put like, Donald Trump. It's not just, it's not just Trump. It's so many of them. It's not just Trump. It's so many of them. It's like Biden on the way out, doing, doing kind of crazy [ __ ] like it just, they get supply from doing this stuff. They want to be praised. Politicians, they do all this kind of evil stuff behind the scenes, and then they want to be praised in public. You see what I'm saying? They'll like, people vote on the, like the ban TikTok. They'll vote to ban TikTok or they'll start the TikTok ban, and then they won't be praised for saving it. It's crazy, y'all. I'm just telling you, this is what goes on right here. You know what I mean? This is the mental, this is the mental space that so many people fall into. There are different forms of supply, right? And then that narcissistic person can be getting it from them right there. Love for you, but bless you, bless you, John. Bless you, bless you. You know what I mean? But this is the space they, they fall into. Mine is a drug dealer and still thinks he's a [ __ ]. Hey, he probably like, "You get supply." Hey, you can get a big bunch of narcissistic supply, um, for being the plug, right? If you the plug, you get a big bunch of narcissistic supply. "I'm the plug. Everybody come to me for that good stuff." You know what I mean? You know what I mean? That gives them their favorite for statistics apply right there. Being the plug, being the person that everybody goes to, right? This, this happens. Yeah, like I said, the favorite supply doesn't necessarily have to be a person. It doesn't have to be a person at all. Seriously, this is what happens to so many people, right? Somebody said this, "Sun, Jup." Sorry, I'm, I'm trying to read the comments, but yeah, if you, again, I'll say this before I start answering questions: if you are the favorite supply, it is not necessarily a good thing. Don't pat yourself on the back. Don't start clapping. "Just like, I knew it. I knew I was the favorite supply. Hell yeah, I knew it." And they sitting outside, they sitting outside your, your house in the bushes watching you. They looking at your ass, right? They got their eyes on you. You mean? They got their eyes on you and whatnot. And this is what happens to so many people, y'all. And it can get you unalive. Yes, mercy. I can't put that on the screen because it'll silence the video or not, but mercy. Faith, you're absolutely right. It can get you unalive. Uh, mind thinks he's winning a Grammy. Is his name? Uh, if he ain't famous right now, maybe down the road, he can win a Grammy. I don't know. I don't know. Uh, the clapping, like the clapping factory is closed. Yes, no more clapping. The cheeks. I'm serious, y'all. Um, but yeah, so I'll take a couple questions. I'll take a few questions before I have to hop off this thing, um, and whatnot. So Caitlyn said earlier, "I feel so stuck and I don't know what to do. I feel guilty for leaving him." So this is completely understandable that you feel guilty for leaving this person because he wants you to feel guilty. She wants you to feel guilty. Whoever you're dealing with, right? They want you to feel guilty about leaving them. They want you to feel bad about leaving them because that keeps you stuck. That keeps you from moving on. That keeps you right exactly where they want you to be, right? You're right exactly where they want you to be. You're feeling, you're feeling guilty. You're feeling, you're not, you're feeling guilty enough to stay around, to to allow them access sometimes, but you're not feeling too guilty to leave them, right? But you left. So that happens though. So don't be, don't beat yourself up.
"How can I make them go away for good?" Sometimes, y'all, I'm gonna be real with you. I'm gonna keep it hot with you. Sometimes you have to force them to leave you alone, right? Sometimes you have to force them to leave you alone. And my force him, like, "Leave what?" Do you mean by forcing? Sometimes, y'all, you got to call the police on their asses. Let's keep it hot and ready. Sometimes you got to call the cops. "Well, I don't want to ruin their life." You're not ruining their life if you call the police on somebody that won't leave you alone. You are not ruining their life. They should leave you the hell alone. They themselves are adults, right? They can leave you alone. They don't have to torture you and mess with you. They can leave you alone. They absolutely can. They don't feel bad about that, y'all. I know it's easier said than done, but don't feel bad about that type of stuff, right? Right there.
"I have been trying to listen to you and not give him a reaction, but I want to crash out so bad." Yeah, you want to crash out so bad. They want to poke you and poke you and poke you until you give them the reaction that they still, that they want. Once you give it to them, you're gonna, once you give that reaction, you're gonna feel bad. So keep fighting, fight the good fight.
"He is ignoring me and I keep sending him texts, especially narcissistic videos. I'm so angry." So I'll say this right here. Why he, he's not ignoring you. He just doesn't need to respond because you're doing all the responding. He's not ignoring you. He's just not paying. He just doesn't. He's not responding to you. He sees them. He's reading it. He's not responding to you because he doesn't have to. I'll tell you this right here, y'all. Narcissists want to be very low-effort people. They want to be very low-effort. So you're doing all the responding. You're doing all the messaging. "I ain't got to put no work in. You still, clearly still want me. So I don't have to respond to you at all. You want me. I don't. Hey, I ain't got to respond to you." Thanks, but that's how it goes though.
"What if I still love him?" You can love somebody and choose and choose not to want to be with them. It's absolutely possible to love someone from a distance. I'll say right there, y'all. It's absolutely possible to love someone from a distance. You don't, like I said, you can, you can love them, but keep them at bay. "Hey, I love you, but stay your ass over there. Stay over there. Get away from me. I love you, but from a distance." Who said that? Mercy. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, you can love from a, you can absolutely love from a distance.
"Same, he's blaming me for the stuff he did." Projection. Absolutely true. They will blame you for the stuff that they will blame you for how they treat you. "Well, if it's so bad, why you still with me? If you're unhappy, why don't you just leave?" Blah, blah, blah. Boo. You know what I'm saying? That's what they do right there.
"Trust your gut, not your heart." Absolutely. I tell this to people all the time, right here, y'all. Trust your intuition. Your intuition is there to protect you. It absolutely is. Your intuition is there to protect you. You know what I mean? Trust it, y'all. There's so many people that, y'all, the red flags will literally be the red flags on the first date will literally rain down in front of you like this, and you, instead of just paying attention like, "What is this red, this red stuff in my face? I can't see my, I can't see my date." You blow it out the way. "What is this red flag in my face? I want to talk to them." "Okay, let's talk. Let's talk. Okay, like, I love you. You love me." "Oh, I know it's the first date." Pay attention. Pay attention to the red flags, y'all. Seriously, seriously pay attention to the red flags. Don't blow them out your face. Ah, what is this? What is this? Big red butterfly with wings flapping in my face. It's a red flag.
"I didn't notice the red flags. I was only 18." Said that's sad right there. Say this is why it's not, I'm not laughing at you, I promise. It's why it sucks for younger people because you, in today's society, you have to grow up so fast, right? It's like today's society damn near forces you to grow up so much. So grow up so much faster because you, you abusive, narcissistic people out here, they're hunting for younger people. I don't know how old your partner was or your ex was when you first met them, but there are a lot of people out there that are 40, 50, 60 years old that are just primed and waiting for 18-year-olds, right? They're just waiting for 18-year-olds to come through. They just are. You can find, you can find, you can find them in the comment section. You can find them in the comment section of a video. "18 is legal, why y'all talk about an adult?" I be thinking, y'all, let me get real with y'all. I be, when people say that, "18 is legal and they like for 45, 50 years old with 18-year-olds." I think those are the weirdest bastards on the planet because what the [ __ ] is the difference between somebody being 18, 000000 on the clock and 17 years old, 359 days, 360 days old? What's the difference between that right there? Ethics? The law? Right? The law, legality, the age of consent. Y'all be knowing these weirdos out here. You see what I'm saying? I just think those are the weirdest people on the [ __ ] planet. Like, I can't imagine. Like, I'm 39 years old, right? So technically, I could date an 18-year-old. But my son, I have a 16-year-old son. I had him when I was, what? I was 22, 23 years old. So technically, I could damn near, you know what I mean? He could date somebody that's 18 years old. He's 16, might be 17. I can take his girlfriend from him. She's 18 years old. It's legal. It's legal. I'm a grown adult. I'm an adult adult. It's adult [ __ ]. Don't you, that right there is just crazy to me. But again, there's people who will fight tooth and nail to date 18-year-olds when they're 40. I'm 39 years old right now. I look at 18-year-olds. I'm like, "Oh, how old are you?" "Oh, hell no. You're, you're a kid. You really are." You mean imagine me meeting my, my girlfriend's parents and they the same age as me. "Hey, I'm dating your daughter." "How old are you?" "Oh, you're 40." "I'm 30." And I'd be 40. We the same age. Isn't that funny? We can be friends. We go to the beer. Like, "Just sleep with your daughter." That's weird, right? Blows my mind. Sorry, y'. That was a sidebar. I sidebarred it. Sidebar, literally a predator. Yeah.
Yo, I'm just telling you, but like, it's not a predator. It's not predatory. They're 18. "I can't discard it because I didn't answer his call in a timely manner. Now, if you go back to him, you know what you have to do. You see how controlling it is right there? You got discarded because you didn't answer the phone in a timely manner, but now if you go back to them, now you know you have to be on your P's and Q's. You gotta be [ __ ] around, have the phone. You, you gotta have a, you gotta walk around with a damn neck mount on your phone, be mounted to your, your phone gotta be mounted to your neck so you can respond to them in time, right? I'm right here. Answer. Answer. Siri, answer. Answer Siri." You see what I'm saying? No, hell no.
"Lee, remember you used to say you'll date the mom?" Oh, yeah. I, I go for the mom. Yeah, yeah. I date for the mom. Yeah. I'm too old. I bet. I've always liked. Sidebar, sidebar to the sidebar. I've always liked older women. Like, you know, when people out here saying is like, "Men just want younger women because it's, it's just internal need." Like, speak for yourself. I like older women. I've always liked since I was 24, 25 years old. I've always liked women they're 30s, 40s, 50s. I know something about. I don't know. I've always been after that. Here, you know, that's what my, my wife is now. My wife is 35 now. I'm more attracted to her right now than I was when she was in her 20s. It's funny. I tell her that now. She was like, "Yeah, it's weird to me." She was like, "Dude, I'm the age you be attracted to." It's funny. It's kind of weird. It's funny. You know, Uncle Tucci, who's Uncle Tucci? I'm going through trying to read some questions. Y'.
"2, 3 years together and married for 11 years. I served him in divorce, divorce papers January 1st." Oh, damn. You really, you really new year, new me, right there. Then you, you really was just like, "You was sitting on that way. You new year, new me." Oh, [ __ ]. Be safe. Take care of yourself. You know, new year, new you. Just be safe. That's a long time. You mean, you're the original sub. Was your favorite former supply? Um, I don't even know, honestly. I don't know. I just like helping people. I think, I think helping people actually is my favorite form of help, like my favorite form of validation. Now, did I have mommy issues? No. I have daddy issues. I have daddy issues. You're the original sub. I remember. Oh, yeah. You, you've been riding for a long time. You hear me say that? I said that in a long time. Shout out to you for, shout out to you for the support. Seriously. I said that in a long time. So I say, is supply always a person? You must just join now. Supply doesn't have to be a person, y'all. It could be a hobby, a job, finances, a career. Whatever it is. Doesn't necessarily have to be, um, it doesn't have to be a person. Let me go. Oh, goodness gracious. I hate when this spam gets in here. Martin James is spam. Y'. Why I have you here? Hit this, hit the subscribe button, y'all, if you haven't already. Also, coaching, courses, my support group, all of that is at courses.mentalillness.net. I'll drop it in the comment section as well so y'all can check that out. courses.mentalillness.net for coach, for my support group, my courses, everything. Hey, PlayStation, what did I miss?
"You have a twin. Why is he not a narcissist?" Because everybody responds to trauma and situations differently. I feel like it's your perception to events that makes you who you are. We, we live in the same house. I have a twin brother. He's not a narcissist.
"If an arc is harassing me in secret and I call the cops on him, but he doesn't stop with exposing him. Help. He is still normal in front of other people and I think he threatened me not to expose." So yeah, exposing them could help you, but it could also be dangerous, right? Because if they're, if they're normal in front of everybody else, trying to protect their reputation, they could, it could be, it could be dangerous. So I mean, you could expose them, just be careful. I always tell people, use discretion. Be careful, you mean? Because you never know how people will react to being exposed and, you know what I mean? And whatnot. You just never know.
"How does the new supply ever wonder why they spend so much time harassing old supply?" Sometimes they wonder, right? Sometimes they do wonder and whatnot, but sometimes they don't. They, yeah, they being, they, a lot of times they're being love-bombed. They, they, they're believing everything that the narcissistic person is telling them. They're being love-bombed and manipulated, so they're really are just believing every single thing the narcissist is telling them and whatnot. This is what happens. You mean? They believe everything that they, they're being told because they just being love-bombed.
"Lee, if you have no emotional empathy, how can you?" So, I, I have emotional empathy. I don't know where that came from. No. So, I, I do have emotional empathy. It's a narcissist have a lack of empathy. Now, lack doesn't mean zero. Mean, just lack. Less. Less than, you know, if I, you know, you might have $50 worth of empathy. I got 15. I still have it. It just, use it better. Just use it good.
"Write their love bombing someone and devaluing in secret." Yeah, sometimes. Some devalue in public.
"How did you apologize to your first wife's son's mother?" My first wife's son's mother. So I was, I've only been married one time. Um, it's so married to the same person. And but me and her have a good relationship. I talk to her all the time. I've apologized to her and told her what was going on. She follows, she follows some of my platforms, you know? She tells people, she tells people about my plat. People share my platform with her. She's like, "They tell her." She's like, "You, this guy right here has helped me out of my, this guy right here, he's helped me out of my relationship. He's such a good source of information." And they, and they'll show her my stuff, and she's like, "I know him. That's, man, that's my son's father." You know? But yeah, she, she appreciates the work I put in right there. She, she don't want to do a live, y'. She's not very social media type person. She don't want to do no live. I try, I tried to get a live with her, but she don't want to do no live. She's not very social media. Yeah, you know, she's on social media, but she's not like, she don't want to be on her face out there or whatnot. You mean? Now you got it. It's all good. But I can, I can see why you would assume that. So I ain't M trying. Sure she sees you different. That's really good. Yeah. Power moves. The youngest. What, what is the sociopath? What did Lee say? I miss [Music] something.
"If their favorite supply gets engaged, do they finally stop harassing?" No, they get harassed more. If you get engaged, you know, they get harassed more because they don't want to see you. They don't want to see you leave them alone. They don't want to see you engaged and moving on. They want you right there with them.
"What's going on?" Appreciate that, Darren. Darren, Darren, Darren. I rejected the covert arc and he still talks to himself by sending me messages. How they not embarrassed? It's been years and I don't even know him. You, you don't block him? Might want to go and block him because sometimes if they're not blocked, they feel like they extend the chance, right? They feel like they extend the chance if you don't block them.
"Is he actually believe all the awful things he says about me?" So even if he does, sometimes they don't believe it. They're just trying to hurt your feelings, you mean? But if he says it out loud, a lot of times that's on that's un. What if they, the insults that they say to you, especially if they repeat the same thing, they do mean it, right? But just because they mean it doesn't make it true and whatnot, y'all.
Anyway, y'all, I need to hop off this live. I got some work to do tonight and all this other good stuff. If you haven't already, like I said, hit that subscribe button. Also, everything is available at mentalhealthis.net. Coaching, courses, support groups, and everything, y'all. Uh, hit that subscribe button. Check out the support group. I respond to all the comments. Support group, y'all. I got, I gotta peace off this thing. Seriously. I gotta peace out. Thank y'all for tuning in.