Transcription
Have you ever been told that if you want to be a leader, that you gotta act like a leader? Well, that is terrible advice, and it is even condescending, especially if you've been in the industry for a long time and you're an established professional, and someone gives you that advice to act like a leader. It's terrible advice, and it's incomplete, and it could be even seen as condescending.
But you gotta understand that when it comes to becoming a leader, it's not about trying to mimic the behaviors or even language patterns of people in charge. Leadership is not about that. Leadership is about embodying these five non-negotiable principles that make other people naturally want to turn to you for insights, regardless of your title.
So, in this video, what I'm going to do is deep dive into these five non-negotiable principles so you can stop acting like a leader and start to become one. I need to premise that by saying that this is not an easy journey, but the most of the time when journeys are meaningful, when outcomes are really meaningful and impactful, the journey is difficult. But don't make decisions based on difficulty. Make them based on possibility.
And I'm sharing this with you from someone who's been on the journey myself. I started my career even before I knew what I wanted. I started as a waitress, and when I was waitressing at a restaurant, I didn't get paid a salary. I didn't get paid minimum wage. I got paid two dollars a day, sometimes one dollar a day, and really, the pay I got was purely just the tips people leave on the table. I was working there, and this was my way to meet ends because I didn't have parental support, and I was working there so that I can have access to food, so I can have some sense of purpose that was carrying me over. And really, it was me figuring out, well, what's the whole purpose of life? What am I here for? Why am I even doing this?
And along the way, I've met several people who have exemplified leadership and who really have exemplified having a command of their life purpose. And eventually, as you know, I came into academia. And in academia, I realized this now, looking back. I didn't know it back then, but I realized that you can go all the way to a PhD, and there's not a single class where they teach you how to lead yourself, how to become a leader, how to make key decisions that will better your life, and how to communicate well. So I had to figure these things out. And along the way, I met mentors, hired mentors to do so. And so these are the five principles that came from being really in the line of fire from my humble beginnings into where I am now in terms of leading other leaders in industries all around the world.
Rule number one, that's a non-negotiable, is this: It's lead yourself first. I share something called the leadership formula, and here's what the leadership formula is. I'll just share it with you, and then I'll go into each piece, focusing on the first piece, because remember, rule number one is lead yourself first. So the master formula looks like this: It is self-mastery times communication times value creation equals leadership recognition. Notice how every syllable counts in this formula, and the first element of the formula is self-mastery.
Self-mastery is leading yourself first, and that's why it's first in the leadership formula because nothing starts without self-mastery. In other words, when you have mastered yourself, you have mastered not just your emotions, but you've mastered your own perceptions, you've mastered your own thinking patterns, you've mastered your own beliefs, you've mastered your own responses to things, you've mastered the way you see the world around you, the way you see other people around you, you've mastered the way you react. All of these things are encompassed in self-mastery. Nothing starts until self-mastery begins.
If you desire to lead others, you have to lead yourself first. And the reason why you must lead yourself first is, if you aren't able to lead yourself first, then how can you help other people to understand the decisions they need to make? And how can you hold them accountable? And how can you help them to develop and to become more empowered people when you yourself haven't crossed that path, or when you yourself are refusing or hesitating to be on that path?
So that's the formula. Number one is self-mastery. Number two, I'll just talk about this briefly. The second element is communication. And when I'm talking about communication, I'm talking about all sorts of communications. You have impromptu communications, you have diplomatic communications, you have the persuasive type of communications, you have the presentation type of communications, you have the communications where they are very difficult to have because it's politically charged, because people have different values and different opinions, and you have cultural communications as well. There are so many different types of communication.
And here's the biggest problem in today's era that holds people back from developing communication: It's this whole technology of AI. Now, I'm not saying AI is a problem. AI is not the problem. What's the problem is that more and more people, more and more professionals, are outsourcing their thoughts to AI. And it is so tempting to do so because AI gives you the language because it's a learning language model, and it sounds so perfect, it sounds so smart, it sounds so fluent. And therefore, it's very tempting to copy-paste. And before we know it, we are running all our presentations through AI. We're running all our emails through AI before sending it. We are outsourcing our words. And you see, when you outsource your words, and then you outsource your thoughts, then it becomes very more and more difficult to trust your own thoughts. It becomes more and more difficult to trust your own skills, and you hesitate and you procrastinate on developing your own skills of communication.
So my central message around communication is: Take ownership of your own communication journey. Don't outsource that to AI because the more you do so, the less it is that you're going to be able to be confident in yourself. If you already struggle with communication, if you already struggle with any sorts of communication, it could be impromptu communication, don't outsource that to AI. Don't outsource something you don't understand, and don't outsource something that you haven't yet developed skills in, because it's going to further set you back when you need to be there in the moment and respond to somebody. So that's just my two cents on AI.
So you have leadership formula: self-mastery, lead yourself first, communication, value creation. I'll just say two cents about that, then we'll move on. When I mean value creation, I'm talking about the value you put out there is not from yourself. Think from the marketplace, not from yourself. So a lot of professionals, they say, "I want to create value. Here's what I want to do." But they don't think about, well, does anybody else need what you want to do? Does anybody else want what you want to do? So think from the marketplace, not from yourself. And there's two ways you can create value: You can either create value for greater numbers of people, or you can create greater value for less people. So decide, you decide what your value creation journey is. But this is very important: When you create value, you have to be able to articulate that value, and it goes back to communication. So don't outsource that to AI.
So that's rule number one. Non-negotiable rule number one is to lead yourself first. Non-negotiable rule number two is to model leadership principles, not personas. I mentioned at the start of this video that leadership is not about mimicking other people's behaviors and language patterns. The people that are in charge, it's not about that. It is about understanding what are the principles that guide great leadership. And the good news about principles is that there are only just a few. If you will take the time to think through and to really reflect on real leadership qualities from the source of truth that are effective, that translate to effective action, that translate to effective communication, that translate to effective value creation, then take those principles, extrapolate them. And the next step is to understand those principles themselves, because you cannot apply that which you do not understand. So seek, take the time to reflect on, to think through so you deeply understand them. And at which point that you understand it, at that point, then start to apply them. But don't just apply them blindly, apply them with thoughtful reflection on outcomes. And then when it comes to applying those outcomes, reflect on how you can apply them and express them uniquely. This is the most important part because leadership is not about mimicking or copying other people. It is about the unique expression of those principles based on who you are, your values, your beliefs, and your personality. And this is the one thing that cannot be mimicked. This is the one thing that people can resonate with and deeply connect with. So how might you express those in a way that's uniquely you and a way that's authentically uniquely you? So express uniquely. And the last thing about these principles, once you've extrapolated them, is to find ways to share them generously so that you can develop future leaders, so that you can develop your own unique insights around those principles. And when they're grounded in the truth of what's proven to work in leadership and in business context, then you can have confidence to know that the insights that you have gleaned from those principles, that are derived from those principles, are going to work when you share them. And they can be deep insights that are transformational when you share them. So this is the last part I'm getting at: Focus on impact, not just on competing for approval, not just on leading for approval or performing for approval. Focus on impact, which is a longer-term outcome of the effect that you can have, and that you build your legacy that works for you even when you are not present.
Non-negotiable rule number three is to focus on creating exceptional value beyond your range. Now, to really unpack this, I'm going to share with you three leadership mindsets that exist out there in the workplace. As an executive coach who's worked with thousands of professionals, these are the three leadership mindsets I've seen over and over again.
The first leadership mindset is called the wage minder. And these individuals are working to, they take orders, they really take responsibility to uphold their job description, the responsibilities of their job description, and they are working hard just in exchange for a paycheck. They follow orders, they meet their duties, and then that's it. They exchange it, and then they go home, they get a paycheck, and do it all over again. So these are individuals, the wage earners. They believe that leadership is all about authority. That's their belief. So that's the first leadership mindset.
The second leadership mindset is what I call the custodians of the operations. And what this means is that these individuals, while they are dutiful and they also perform really well in their duties, what they also do is that they are really good at managing their products, their projects, and managing processes for the organization. And they're really focused on keeping order, organized order, keeping order, the people they manage, keeping order in terms of the processes and projects and so on. And so they're so good at what they do, I describe them as, "Well, you're so good at what you do, you might as well keep doing them." And that's why most people with this mindset, they're stuck doing what they do because people want to, "Well, you're so good at it, you might as well keep doing it." So these individuals, the custodians of the operations, they believe that leadership is all around keeping order, all around managing tasks and managing people.
So now, there's one more mindset. The third leadership mindset is what I call the enterprise architect. Now, individuals with this mindset of the enterprise architects, they're the ones that focus on creating value, exceptional value beyond their range. So what do we mean by beyond their range? It means that anything beyond your job title, anything beyond what is expected of you in your talents or your given role. And so they focus. And so their mindset is all around, "I am going to be like the owner of the business. So my thoughts are going to be of the business. My thoughts are going to be from the business. And I'm going to focus on adding exceptional value beyond my role and the description of my role." So in this case, enterprise architects, their mindset is that they believe leadership is all about adding exceptional value beyond their role.
So the message here, this is a non-negotiable rule number three: To become a great leader is to focus on shifting your mindset towards an enterprise architect. So if you are thinking about this, and maybe you find yourself in mindset number one, or partly halfway between mindset number one and two, or maybe you find yourself in mindset number three and you want to be on the brink of, you know, of greater than that, then I invite you to look below this video. Below this video, I have some options that you can work with me to develop your enterprise mindset, to really step up into leadership, to lead in vast and great amounts, adding greater value. So look below this video, and there's many options there for you. If you want to work with me directly, if you desire to have some self-study, if you desire to have some more training, so look below this video, and I look forward to working with you on the inside.
Non-negotiable rule number four is to unleash what I call the impact leverage principle. So what do we mean by that? You see, most experts, they have developed high-income skills, and they may be valued contributors, but they are very under-leveraged in their impact. So here's what I mean by that: Experts, they have high-income skills, and when they have these high-income skills, they're so used to operating from these high-income skills. They jump in to solve problems directly. They jump in to really take control of the situation. They are the experts of their domain. They know everything that's going on within their purview, within their department, within their field. They know everything that's going on, and as a result of that, they work really hard to produce results. There is a problem with that. The traits and characteristics that make you a great contributor and that make you really good in executing on your high-income skills, those traits and characteristics are the exact opposite of what it takes to make a lasting transformative impact as a leader. It's the exact opposite, right? When you are contributing with the skill of your hand as an implementer, as a skilled implementer, you jump in, solve problems directly. You got to be the go-to expert. You got to do it. You got to be in the field and know everything that's going on. But if you desire to be a true leader, this is the exact opposite. You have to be slow to act, and you have, instead of that, you have to be quick to understand the people, human behaviors, and the human behavioral systems that are at play. You have to be able to let go of control, and you are going to be able to let go of needing to be the expert in the room. And more than that, you have to let go of being the one, the go-to person that fixes the problems, and instead, you have to become the one that empowers other people. And instead of being quick to solve problems and being the one being in the field and implementing on things, the operating out of the skill of your hand is no longer your priority. Instead of that, you got to realize, and you have to adapt the mindset that thinking is now your new doing. Thinking is your doing. Because leaders, leadership is not about getting in there, in the weeds, down in the weeds, and fixing the problems and doing everything yourself. It's not about that anymore. It is around taking the step back and understanding human behaviors. And when you can understand human behavior and systems at play, and when you can communicate value at greater levels, you can multiply your impact.
Non-negotiable rule number five is to prepare more than you perform. You see, excellence requires unseen preparation. It requires disproportionate preparation. I have to premise that by defining what I mean by preparation. A lot of people confuse preparation with getting ready to get ready to get ready. I hear a lot of those professionals coming into work with me, clients coming into my coaching program, and they have been trying to make a decision for a very long time, analyzing all the scenarios, going through analysis, going through all, drawing out a flowchart in terms of all the different scenarios that could happen and the pros and cons list, right? That is not the same thing as preparation. So don't confuse preparation, which is very intentional, which is very strategic, which is very guided. Don't confuse that with procrastination, analysis for analysis, getting ready to get ready, getting ready to get ready. Don't confuse it for that. They're not the same thing, right? Excellence requires a disproportionate amount of preparation. What does that mean? It means that you are deliberate in your focus and attention on how you need to prepare yourself to become the person who can lead well and who can communicate well, become the person who can do that. Which means that when you are preparing, you're focusing on who you're becoming more than you are focusing on the things that you are doing and the things that you are having, right? Because think about it: There is so much room at the top. And the reason why I say that is because excellence requires such a disproportionate amount of preparation that not very many people are willing to do it. And that's why excellence scales only incrementally. But the opposite of excellence is mediocrity, and mediocrity scales exponentially. The only reason why mediocrity is so exponential is because most people are willing to do what it takes to be okay at it, right? They're willing to be mediocre, and most people are willing to do that. But the amount of intention and energy and focus, and the amount of imagination, the amount of preparation it takes to become excellent, that is disproportionate to the amount of effort and attention and investment that it takes to be okay, and that it takes to be mediocre. Which is why if you desire to be a leader, then preparation, being prepared, is more important than being the smartest person in the room. Reflect on that. Being prepared is more important than being the smartest person in the room. If you're the smartest person in the room, what that means is that you have to know all the answers. And if you have to know all the answers, that means you're good at what you do, then why don't you just keep doing what you're doing? That fits in mindset number two that I shared about earlier. But it's not about being the smartest person in the room because leadership is not about you anymore. Leadership is all about: Can you understand human behaviors? Can you communicate value? Can you lead and inspire other people to be motivated and step up into their best selves? So then, therefore, it's not about being the smartest person in the room because it's not about you. It is about: How can I help others, serve them well, and elevate them to their next level? And therefore, a rising tide lifts all boats, and we can all step up and rise to the next level of our success. So then, this is about you need to be able to prepare yourself for the journey ahead. Prepare yourself for the race that is set before you, because the race that is set before you, sometimes it can be hard, sometimes it can be long, but it is meaningful. And if you desire to create the impact and influence that you say that you want, then your actions must follow suit.
When taken together, understand that there is a code to leadership. It's not about waiting for other people to notice you. Don't wait for people to notice you because you might be waiting a long time, and you might have, if you're not waiting a long time and someone notices you, they may not notice you the way you want to. So don't wait because leadership is not a passive sport. It's not a spectator sport. It requires your activity, but the activity that is required of you, you need to become the person who's capable of performing that activity and at the level that needs to be to achieve the excellence that needs to require. So it's not about, leadership is not about waiting for other people to notice you. It is about excellent and focused attention on these five non-negotiable rules so that you can become the person that other people cannot ignore.