Transcription
Tonight's caller says she's an alpha female, successful, independent, fit, and fully capable of taking care of herself. She believes she can switch into femininity for the right man, but only if he proves he's worthy of her submission. She wants marriage, children, and partnership. But she also admits she's controlling, demanding, and consistently attracts men she doesn't respect.
As the conversation unfolds, the real issue isn't income, age, or dating options. It's the contradiction between what she says she wants and how she shows up in relationships. This call breaks down the myth that femininity is something you turn on and off, exposes why high value men don't negotiate for authority, and explains why many modern women struggle to keep the very men they claim to desire. Hit like, subscribe, and support Kevin Samuels original channel to help keep his legacy alive.
>> What do you got for me?
>> What do you want to know?
Well, who are you?
All right. I don't know.
>> Well, I am on the West Coast, so I've been watching for a little while. I noticed everybody is kind of Midwest and in Atlanta. So, I am in SoCal.
>> You're all over. The applications are world are countrywide.
>> Yeah, I'm in SoCal. I'm in Cali.
>> How old are you?
>> I am 27.
>> All right. So, give me the treasure download.
Well, I am a realtor here in SoCal. I am single and I have no kids.
>> Okay.
>> And I guess you could say I'm an alpha female. And um I don't know based on kind of what everybody else has been talking about. I'm 5'8.
>> Um I'm 155 pounds. Uh my dress size is eight. Working on getting back to a six. Um I work out three. I work out three times a week. Um,
>> would you like to be married? Would you like to be married?
>> Yes.
>> Okay. How long How long was your longest relationship?
>> Um, my last relationship, real relationship is four years.
>> No, no, your longest. Your longest?
>> Four years.
>> Okay. And how long ago was that?
>> Three years ago.
>> So, you're 27 and your last relationship was three years ago and it was four years. So, you were depressed from 20 years old.
>> Actually, I'm older than that. I was playing with you. I just gave you the 27 number because everybody always says they think I'm 27.
>> Okay.
>> Don't give me that Don't give me that look.
>> I'm doing business here. So, can we get to the truth?
>> Oh, like don't give me that look. No, I'm 36.
>> All right. Um, let's just speak to the truth. Um, your last relationship was three years ago.
>> Uh, three to four years ago. Yes.
>> And it lasted four years.
>> Yes.
>> Um, who ended it?
>> I did.
>> Uh, any particular reason?
>> Lots of reasons. He was younger than me.
>> How much younger?
>> Four years younger. I started dating him when I was 30. So he was four years younger than me when I was 30.
>> Okay. So you out earned him?
>> I'm sorry.
>> So you out earned him?
>> Yes.
>> All right. So uh if you were married, do you want to have children?
>> Yes.
>> How many kids would you like to have?
>> At least two.
>> Uh at least two. And after you're uh pregnant, would you like to have work to pay significant bills?
>> Yes, I'm going to work.
>> Okay. Um, if I asked your ex-boyfriend how he experienced you, what his his word would betray is what,
>> controlling,
>> demanding. I get I get the word demanding a lot.
>> Um, and you want what kind of marriage do you
>> Um, I want a partnership.
>> Um,
>> partnership mean 50/50?
>> No, I mean as far as, you know, I want to laugh a lot. I I like I just want to be happy. I want to be happy. I want to laugh a lot. Um, I don't take myself seriously. I don't take life seriously.
>> What kind of marriage you want, though?
>> I want to I want to be able to be open. Like, I don't want lies. I don't want secrets. I want us to be able to talk to each other about anything.
Are you are you a Christian?
>> Yes,
>> I'm not religious.
>> Okay. So, um marriages come down in like two basic forms. Either traditional marriage where they're gender roles or some sort of partnership.
>> Okay.
>> What do you want?
>> A partnership.
>> And do you mind if your uh spouse earns less than you?
>> No, I don't mind.
>> Okay. Um, do you own your home?
>> No.
>> How much does a man Here's a real question. What's How much does a man need to make annually before you consider him seriously?
>> How much does he need to make where I consider him seriously?
>> Yeah. Before you consider him seriously?
Yes. At the bare minimum being in in Cali, bare minimum would be a 100,000 and that's bare minimum.
>> And what part of California is?
>> I'm in San Diego.
>> You care? You care what race he is?
>> No.
>> What percentage of men earn over $100,000 a year?
>> You said what percentage? What percentage of men earn more than six figures over $100,000 a year?
>> What percent?
>> Any race.
>> Huh?
>> Any race?
>> Yeah. Any race. What%
>> about 10 to 15?
>> 10%. 10%. So, you're automatically eliminated nine out of 10 men at age 36.
>> But I also say that I'm okay that he makes less.
>> I said, how much would he need to make minimum? You said six figures.
>> Yeah. And you also said, "Are you okay if he makes less?" And I said, "I'm okay."
>> If he makes less than you.
>> Oh,
>> I said,
>> "Oh, I'm sorry. I misunder I mis I misunderstood that."
How much money would he need to make annually before you would seriously consider him for marriage?
>> Okay. I would say that I would say 70 and up. Okay. I'll be honest
>> because I mean I I do I do I do well too. So
>> that doesn't matter though.
>> I I know it doesn't.
>> I I'll be I gotta be honest. We started off wrong with you lying to me. That's that's just not okay.
>> I was messing with you. I'm I'm a jokester.
>> Okay. But we don't know each other and that's all right. I'll be honest. I'll be honest. It's just it's offputting. So, uh, but then you say you're an alpha female under control freak and, um, I don't the kind of men that you are probably except I don't really deal in like beta males.
>> I do attract a lot of beta males, which is crazy.
>> But I don't but I don't deal with those.
>> I don't I would prefer an alpha I would prefer an alpha male, but I you know I don't I don't attract them, you know. I feel like I feel like I'm kind of demanding and controlling by default because I do attract betas. But I feel like if I ran into the right alpha, I would I would fall in that to I would fall in that submissive role because I can't be that. But I can't I I can't let the blind lead the blind. Like you like you have to be that leader. And men men tend not to be a leader.
>> Please, can you let me speak? Um, you attract betas because you're dominating and controlling. You can attract alphas, they just won't they will not keep you. They won't accept you. They don't want you. They don't need your money. And alpha, alpha males, high value men, productive, competitive, successful men make enough money to where they don't have to deal with you. So this thing about I could be feminine. You either are or you are not. It's not a switch you turn on and off. And it's not a value judgment, but I don't really deal with beta males and 50/50 stuff. That's just not the platform I'm in. Um because that's not a that's not a natural role for women. the alpha energy, the controlling energy. I mean, yeah, women need to be able to take care of themselves in a modern scenario, but you don't have to be a control freak. And if you were involved, how long? Four years,
>> four years for for the guy that was four years younger than you.
>> Yes.
>> And earn less.
>> Yes.
>> Yeah. Wrong platform. You you that's some Stella got her groove back kind of [ __ ] going on. Um, so I I've been around I've been around alpha males
>> and when somebody is is strong and they take the lead, it's it's natural for me to take that back seat when that person is capable of doing that.
>> See, what you what what you seem to keep missing is like like an alpha male has to prove something to you.
>> No, not prove that's just who they are. Listen. No, they're not. See, alpha males attract feminine women. And what you're saying is if I would consider being feminine if an alpha male steps up and leaves and does something to put me in my feminine, he's gone off about this business with this woman. Alpha males aren't in the business of proving to you. You must prove to us. We're not going to sit there and negotiate with you. We just leave you with the 24 with the four year younger boy. That's what a lot of you aggressive women don't seem to get. Nobody's got to prove anything to you. Man, there are more females on the planet than men. And at 36 years old talking about you want a man making six figures or which is really what you want. I don't believe for one minute you'd accept a man making $70,000 in Southern California. That's $35,000 in Atlanta. I don't believe that for one bit.
>> I I don't need it. I I take care of myself.
>> Exact.
>> I mean, it would be nice, but you know, I I I don't need it, you know. again.
>> But I mean, you know, I I hear you talk a lot about that, but one thing I I do want to say is the one thing I feel kind of that you're missing is that you're not a woman and you're not out here dating these men. It's like there's young men, you know, there's men in the middle and there's older men and you're not out here dating them. Like I'm actually out here going on dates with all types and the older ones does don't automatically make them mature and the young ones don't automatic because how arrogant of you.
>> That's arrogant
>> cuz you don't know me and you don't know my background. I'm 51 years old. I've been over three church singles ministries and I talked to you don't know my background. See, the thing is many women think just like yourself think you got it all figured out and people need to get up to your level. You're 15 years younger than me. You think you're going to put me up on game?
>> I'm not saying that. I'm saying
>> I'm not missing any. Of course I don't date men.
>> That's all I said.
>> And the thing is that dating men is not the point. You guys can Women control access to sex. Men control access to relationships. And the problem is women cannot get relationships today because you suck at them. Modern women suck at keeping relationships and they cannot keep men who are ranked higher value. Period. Point blank. End of sentence.
>> But would you agree that this generation of like this dating pool sucks as a whole on on both sides?
>> You ladies. No, you ladies do.
>> So it's just the ladies. It's not the men. The pro the problem the problem objectively is with women because men have not changed. The expectation for men are still to be the same. Protector, provider, prophet, priest. We're still expected to do the things that any man of any generation has done. If you watch my show over six months, the thing that's different is women have less skills, less feminine energy, less any of this, and they're demanding more. I've had women on this show tonight who don't even have cookbooks, can't cook. I have both of those.
>> But the thing is, women, previous generations, two, three, four years back, they prided themselves on the things that many women today simply cannot do. They didn't need to be alpha realators and make money. They were proud at being mothers. So, sorry you, the reason the dating pool sucks, the reason shivery is dead is because modern women killed it. But I do cook and I cook very well and I do have cookbooks.
>> Okay. However, you cannot get the kind of man that you can respect.
>> Let's just put it on the wood. You cannot get
>> It's Slim Pickings over here, Kevin.
>> No, it's not Slim Pickings. It's in the mirror. It's not Slim Pickings.
>> I know I have some self work to do and I and I work on that daily.
>> Okay. But what's the name of your therapist?
Well, I do. I will say that you you said a word.
>> You don't have
>> Are you whipping me?
>> You don't have a therapist.
>> You said you said I don't have
>> You don't have a therapist.
Exactly. So, you're in charge.
>> I don't have a therapist.
>> Do I need one?
>> Well, uh, let's look. Let's arguably look, business person, let's look at the outcomes. Is what you're doing working? Are you qualified to fix you?
>> Yes.
>> Really? Show me an attorney who represents himself and I'll show you an attorney who has a fool for a client.
>> Okay.
>> Can I tell you why? Can I tell you why?
>> Ma'am, you're not qualified to be your own therapist.
>> But if I know But if I know what my issues are, am I not qualified to work on my own issues if I know what they are?
>> You're right. You're right. Let me show you how Let me show you how to do this, guys. When you deal with women, the sign language, shame, insults, guilt, and the need to react, this is what you do with them. You're right. You're right.
>> I'm not trying to be right, Kevin.
>> Of course, but you're right anyway.
>> I'm not trying to be right.
>> But you are.
>> I'm not trying to be right. I swear I'm not.
>> Yeah, but see, but you're the best person to be your own therapist because you know your own issues and you know how to address them. You're right. Okay. So, what do you see my issues being besides even though you use the word aggressive, I don't like the word aggressive. I I don't care if you like it or not. If you like it or not, you're over talking. You ever see this one issue right here? You're over talking a man.
>> I I apologize.
>> That's one issue right there. When a bad when a man is starting to assert your issuer than most. If you're really just average or unattractive, you'd have got this [ __ ] checked a long time ago. Me, I'm not fascinated. I'm deal with beautiful women all the time. I deal with attractive women all the time. Not special to me. And the problem is you you say yourself as a control freak and an alpha female. What men say, "Oo, I cannot wait to find me a control freak and alpha female. That's what I really [ __ ] want."
>> You asked me. You asked me what the feedback was. That's not what I said. But I say what men want those who what what caliber or kind of man do you hear saying you know what I just really want a doineering business I just want a ball breaker can't can't wait to find a control freak who who says that
>> can I answer that
>> sure
>> okay so obviously not in so many words right but I feel like some men actually do would like a stronger woman that they can count on to step up to handle things they some Men don't always want some soft damsel in the stress like, "Oh, well, my husband's not here. My husband is. I don't know what to do. I can't think for myself. My husband, my husband." So, I feel like some men actually want a woman who can actually do things.
>> And there again, like you said, you don't date uh men. You don't know men. I don't know many men who want what you're talking about. Men who don't. And you feel like there are some men. Where are these men at? Who are they? Tell me where they are in your life. Tell me where you've gone to get this information.
>> I've known them.
>> How many?
>> A few.
>> Few. Few is what? Four.
>> A few is four.
>> I mean, I ain't put a number on it, but a few.
>> Let's put a number on it because it matters. Oh, I didn't think about the actual number.
>> Well, let's Well, you said, "I feel there are men like this." How many What percentage of men do you think are like that?
>> A percentage of men that are like that?
>> Yes. Because you wanted to have this.
>> I mean, to be honest with you, I'm not sure about the percentage.
>> But the point is, but the point is it was the point is it was important enough for you to make it a position in the conversation. So, I need to know what percentage of men fall into this category to see how important the point you're trying to make is.
>> I don't know an exact number, but I'm gonna be honest and probably say maybe it's the majority is probably not that high. It's probably not the majority. I would say
>> give me a number.
>> Realtor, you haven't given me a number. Just ballpark it.
>> 10%.
>> 10%. Negligible,
>> huh?
>> Damn near negligible. 10%. So that means 90% of men don't want what you're talking about.
>> Okay?
>> So why are we talking about the 10% instead of the 90? I'll tell you why. Because you don't know how to deal with the 90. You don't know what they want. And even if you did, are you prepared or qualified to give it to them?
>> Yes.
>> Tell me the last relationship where you've been submissive. The last relationship I've been submissive
>> start to finish.
>> It was a very long time ago.
>> Okay. When was it?
>> Like long time ago.
>> Okay. I don't know you. When was it?
>> Probably high school.
>> Okay. Who was he?
>> My boyfriend of five years.
>> And how were you when you started seeing him?
>> How was I?
>> How old were you? Uh, 17.
>> So, last time you acted like a feminine woman was 22.
>> Oh, no. I act like a feminine woman all the time.
>> No, no, no. See how I just did that?
>> You asked me about being
>> No, no, no, no, no. Listen, I said, "When's the last relationship you were submissive?" See, a feminine woman is submissive. You can't rewrite femininity to fit your definition.
>> So, a feminine woman can't be alpha.
>> No. No.
>> No.
>> Is that your opinion?
>> No. Feminine femininity is not alpha. It's soft. And there is no such thing as an alpha woman. That's another thing. You women, it's just that you trying to say Amazonian. That's another thing you you might need to put your dicks up. You're not an alpha. The only reason you can do the [ __ ] you do is because mankind has civilized the world in general. You are a female. that I am
>> and the more you start acting in line with your nature, the happier you would be
>> and I do. So where did it turn?
>> Okay, if you acted okay if you acted in be with an older man, you'd be with a man to where he was in charge and you were following.
>> But you do understand just because a man is older doesn't make him older mentally, right?
>> Yeah. See, see what just happened? You're right.
>> No, I've met them. You mean every older man you met, he like he's there. You've never met immature older.
>> You're right.
>> No, I'm asking question.
>> You're right.
>> No, no, you're right. And see, again, what I just showed you is when we going down the rabbit holes you want to go down, it's statistically insignificant.
>> I'm asking a question
>> and I just told you um Okay, ma'am. Um, this is interesting. But at the at the net net of it, if this is how if this is what turns you on is this is at 36, man. I honestly expect 36 year old women to have a better grasp of who they are and what they want. But it sounds like you want a partner and you need bettas. That's fine. Uh, but controlling, doineering, control-free women, they make good side chicks. They're great for sex. They're great to, you know, swing by, knock it off. But when it's all said and done, high value, productive, competitive, successful men, men who know what they want, they're going to go off and get a feminine, beautiful, inspirational, cooperative, submissive woman. They're not gonna they're not going to do this. not gonna sit back and go back and forth and argue and debate and because this is no there's no peace in this.
>> So the type of man that you're talking about they want the the pregnant barefoot stay-at-home submissive.
>> Yeah. Yeah. See okay so audience basically this is the same remember last week when a woman said so they want pretty slaves. This is this just this is just another copy of that argument that you all think you're
>> Oh, I'm not arguing. I was just asking if
>> Okay, but if you if you think
>> Cuz there's nothing wrong with that.
>> Listen. No, but if you think that's the only way that comes is barefoot and pregnant, then that shows a lot more about you than what the reality is.
>> No, because the way you were speaking, that's how it was coming off. So, I was just No, no, that's not how it was coming off. That's how you perceived it.
>> That's why I was asking to clarify. That's why I'm very good at what I'm very good at what I say. I didn't say a woman who's barefoot and pregnant. I said feminine, beautiful, inspirational, submissive, and cooperative. You are the one that tried to put her in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant. That's on you. And see, this doesn't
>> I mean, there's nothing wrong with that.
>> Because here's the sad part. What you're doing doesn't work.
>> Okay?
>> And you were 36. That's the no man's land thing. Cuz between 36 and 60 is one continual slide to the grave. Please get out of the comment section. I'm not there. That's what control freaks do. Get out of the comment section because we're having a conversation. 36 to 60 is one continual slide to the grave. Because no man of substance, of value, of quality is going to marry a woman like this. At best you will get some 5050 bailor mail where you are paying most of the bills because the median income in this country
>> for black men is 42 thou for 41,4500 and for white guys it's 52,000 that's the median income east or west coast doesn't matter fully 50% of the men make that and the men who make more than that don't want controlling doineering they can afford to get different so what What does that mean? That means either you'd have to compete to get the men who make more when they want something different, or you'd have to try to get your mind around it be willing to accept less and then hope the guys who are less are silly enough to realize that they're not your first pick. You're not their that those guys aren't your first choice. This is why I feel so bad for modern women because you earned too much. You waited too late and you you were lied to and told to go out and make a job and a career and all this other kind of stuff and you're so far outside of your true feminine god-given nature to where it makes you unfit for relationship with the kind of men you want.
>> Okay?
>> And and I can't do anything about it. So that's why I say therapy, but you don't want to. But you're not in therapy with anybody. You're your own therapist. So that's fine. But while you're doing that,
>> I feel like therapy is for people who are in denial.
>> You're right.
>> You don't think so?
>> You're right.
>> You don't think so?
>> You're right. I mean, that's my personal opinion.
>> You're right.
>> I feel like therapy is for people who are in denial. And if you know what your flaws are
>> and you know what you need to work on,
>> Mhm.
>> then you could be working on it,
>> right? Show me a better outcome.
>> I can do that.
>> Uhhuh. No, you really can.
>> I can. Okay. I can do that.
>> It's It'll be okay though.
>> Oh, I'm fine.
>> I'm fine, too.
>> Right.
>> I'm fabulous.
>> Right. Right. Dating men four years younger who are bettas and halfway there.
>> Yeah. That That was way back when that was I let the I just let the clock run out on I'm just tick tock tick tock tick tock. I think that if I I think I'm just like, wow, you can't make this [ __ ] up.
This conversation matters because it exposes a contradiction that keeps repeating itself in modern dating, and most people don't want to sit with it long enough to understand it. What you just watched wasn't about one woman being too aggressive or one man being too harsh. It was about the growing gap between identity and outcomes, between what people believe they are and what their lives actually reflect.
The idea that femininity is a switch you flip when the right man shows up sounds good on paper, but collapses in real life. Traits like cooperation, softness, and receptiveness aren't performance modes. They're behavioral patterns. Men don't experience potential. They experience consistency. And high-value men especially don't negotiate for leadership. They don't enter relationships hoping someone will eventually relax in a femininity once they've proven themselves worthy. They choose women who already operate from that place.
What's uncomfortable here is not the standards, it's the timing. When independence hardens into control and self-sufficiency turns into resistance, relationships stop being about connection and start becoming power negotiations. At that point, it's not about love, growth, or partnership. It's about dominance and leverage. And no healthy relationship survives that long term.
Another hard truth people avoid, attraction isn't democratic. It's not fair. It's not evenly distributed. and it doesn't reward effort the way careers do. You can work hard, build yourself professionally, and still struggle romantically if your behavior, energy, and expectations are misaligned with the people you want. That doesn't make anyone evil. But it does require humility to acknowledge, and this is where many conversations derail.
Instead of asking, "Why isn't this working?" People ask, "Why aren't men changing?" But men don't adapt their desires to modern narratives. They adapt their options. When men gain leverage, they choose peace. They choose cooperation. They choose women who make life easier, not louder. This isn't about telling women to shrink or submit blindly. It's about recognizing that leadership and femininity cannot occupy the same space simultaneously. One requires surrender of control. The other requires command. You cannot demand both without paying a price. And that price often shows up years later as loneliness, frustration, or confusion about why dating just doesn't work anymore.
The real lesson here isn't judgment. It's alignment. You don't get rewarded for what you say you're willing to be. You get rewarded for what you are consistently. And the market doesn't adjust itself to your intentions. It responds to your behavior. At the end of the day, the question isn't whether someone is confident, successful, or independent. The question is whether they are relationally compatible with the kind of life they claim to want. Because love doesn't form around ideology. It forms around behavior. And the longer people delay that realization, the harder the correction becomes. That's not cruelty. It's clarity. And clarity, whether people like it or not, is the foundation of every stable relationship that actually lasts.